Chapter Text
“What the f-“ Ryan Wilder said as she reread a congratulatory letter in a packet with other forms to be a contestant on The Bachelorette.
“Is this a joke?” She said to herself. “I know that this isn’t what I think it is. I just know Mary Hamilton has something to do with this.”
Mary was Ryan’s best friend and she just got a job being the Stylist for The Bachelorette. Ryan was proud of her but Ryan did point out to her that she was working for a television program that was putting a bad light on women as they vied for the attention of a man. Ryan was confused as to why her best friend would send her on the show centered around a man when she had no interest in them at all.
Ryan continued to look through the packet as she read each document addressed to her, starting with the one welcoming her to join the “most popular dating show on TV.” Ryan chuckled and praised Mary for her elaborate prank as she really went into full detail for this one. She knew Mary was plotting to get her back for her words regarding sexism on the show as well as for the gift she gave her of “shoes” that was actual a realistic cake so when she picked up the “shoes” the fondant cake was all over her hands.
Ryan looked over the paperwork again as she looked at the legal jargon and realized that she didn’t understand any of it. She thought Mary did a thorough job to include all of that in there for a prank. Ryan had seen language like that at her gym as she had to fill out paperwork for her clients. Ryan was the owner and taught classes at JaCa gym which was the amalgamation of Jada Jet and Cora Lewis her two moms. Jada had given up Ryan for adoption when she was a baby and then Cora raised her before Jada came back into her life at the untimely death of Cora by a car accident. Ryan and Jada’s relationship was rocky but she had come back into her life at fifteen when she was becoming a woman. Once they got through the hard bits they realized they had similar interests and anything Ryan wanted she got it but she wanted to work for hers rather than it be given to her. Like right now the documentation she has from the packet she knew she could pass it along to her mom and her team of lawyers. Instead Ryan tossed the papers aside and picked up her cell phone to call her best friend.
“Ryan!!!” Mary shouted as she answered the phone.
“Mary Sue Ellen Hamilton.” Ryan said sternly.
“Not the whole government.” Mary said shocked.
“What is this shit you sent me?”
“What do you mean? I know nothing of what you speak.” Mary said with a giggle.
“Girl.” Ryan said.
Mary busted out laughing. “Ha!!! Omg I would have paid money to see your face when you got the packet.”
“Not cool. You almost had me.” Ryan argued trying to hide her smile. “When I saw the paperwork with The Bachelorette written up there I knew it had to be a lie.”
“You left to go work on the show two months ago and then I get this mysterious paperwork in the mail. I have to give you credit if you were going to prank me then do it with something I hate.” Ryan stated.
“Mwawh.” Mary said with an evil laugh. “I was waiting for the packet to arrive to you. I knew when I entered your name and information in that they would reject you.”
“Hey!” Ryan said in protest. “I’m a catch.”
“Ryan you don’t even want to be on the show why do you care if you was rejected or not.” Mary said.
“I don’t care per se.” Ryan mumbled.
“Sure you don’t.” Mary said.
“Hold up! The letter said I passed the background check. I mean I know we have been friends since school and roommates the last few years but even I have to question some things regarding my background.” Ryan said. “Did you steal this from your job? I know this is a prank and all but I don’t want you to get fired over it. You made this look to real.” Ryan stated.
Mary laughed. “Uh, the letter is real.”
Ryan froze. Part of her knew, but she needed confirmation. “Real? What do you mean it’s real?” She asked.
“I submitted your information in to be a contestant. So, the response letter was sent out to let the contestants know that they didn’t make it to the next round. That’s the packet you have.” Mary said as she sighed. “Man I wished I could’ve seen your face when you read the letter.”
Ryan breathed in slowly. “Mary, are you telling me that the package is real?” Ryan said as she picked up the packet to read again. “Please say you’re lying and bullshitting me right now.”
Mary laughed harder. “Nope that letter is real. That’s what you get for your teasing and talking about the show.” She said.
“Wow.” Ryan said.
“Too far?” Mary asked.
“You went to great lengths so I guess good job.” Ryan murmured.
“I told you I was going to get you back.” Mary said.
“Thousands of women enter and only twelve get selected to participate on the show. They have this big cocktail party where they eliminate it down to twelve after selecting twenty-four women who will get the vie for the attention of the eligible bachelorette. With me entering you on the show I know it was a one percent chance you would make it but I wanted to get a letter stating that you applied to The Bachelorette.” Mary stated.
“Thousands of women actually go out for the show?” Ryan asked.
“Out of all that, that’s your takeaway.” Mary said.
“I mean it was a good plan but I’m not going on this show.” Ryan stated.
“What do you mean you’re not going on the show? I know you’re not. Your letter should say ‘Our bachelorette is looking for his bachelorette Ryan…and it’s not you.’ That should be at the bottom of your letter.”
Ryan let out a puff of air. “That’s not what mine says.”
“Hold up, what? What does it say?” Mary asked curiously.
“Mine says ‘our bachelorette is looking for his bachelorette Ryan…is it you?’ And then the congratulatory letter and a stack of papers that is asking me to give up my right to privacy and go parade around on this demeaning show so that I can compete against other women for the affection of a man I don’t want.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Mary said. Then there was silence for a minute before Ryan received a FaceTime call from Mary.
“Show me the letter.” She said as soon as Ryan connected the call.
Ryan put the letter up to the phone. Mary gasped and put her hand over her mouth. “Ohmigod!”
Ryan turned the phone back around to face her friend. “What?”
“Ryan, you have been invited to be a contestant on the show.” Mary told her.
“What!! Isn’t this a prank?” Ryan yelled.
“My prank was signing you up for the show. They actually want you to be on the show.” Mary explained.
“No, no, no. I’m not doing this.” Ryan said as she shook her head furiously.
“Ryan, Ohmigod this would be so good to do. You can tear down the show from the inside. You’re always talking about how the women think they are love with the man but really in love with what he can do for them like get them five minutes of fame.” Mary said.
“Two things Mary on why I won’t do the show. Number one - I hate the whole idea of women vying for the affection of anyone on national television and doing salacious things to be seen. Number two - I don’t like men so what does that look like me going on a show wanting the attention of a man I don’t want or like.”
Ryan saw Mary fidgeting through the phone. “Um, about that. I just found out that we will be having our first Bachelorette show where women vie for the attention of only one woman.”
Ryan shook her head. “How progressive of them.” She said sarcastically. “Who’s the lucky woman?”
“Sophie Moore.” Mary said while watching her friend’s face change trying to visualize who it is.
“Who?” Ryan said.
“You know the female action star who’s been in so many movies. She just had a huge breakup with her social media influencer girlfriend who was caught cheating on her months back.”
Ryan shrugged. “Uh, okay?”
Mary looked at her friend confused. “You don’t know who Sophie Moore and Kate Kane is. Where have you been living at, under a rock? They are a proud and out couple.”
“Good for them. I’m going to assume there’s going to be a lot of ‘Kate Kane’s’ around since that’s her type.” Ryan said emphasizing Kate Kane’s name.
“I guess.” Mary said.
Ryan eyes shot up on the call and remained silent.
“Think about this. If you go up there you’ll be one of the first contestants on a groundbreaking show and you’ll get the publicity and money to open up another gym.” Mary said.
Ryan had been wanting to expand her locations since her gym had been doing well. She didn’t want to ask her mom for another loan because she wanted to show her that she could do this on her own. The prize money and publicity alone could help her gym grow further more.
“I’ll think about it.” Ryan said.
“Really?” Mary said excitedly.
“Yes, I’ll think about it.”
“You have one day to respond and if you don’t I will.” Mary said as she hung up on her friend.
“I know she did not.” Ryan murmured. Soon as she said that a ding came on her phone and it was Mary telling her that she hung up on her for dramatic effect which caused Ryan to chuckle. She decided to search Sophie Moore and Ryan was captivated by her beauty but she knew she was not her type.
“Publicity and money to pretend to like someone hmm I think I can do that. I have done more for far less.” She said as she continued to stroll through Sophie Moore’s images.