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Chapter Text

“It’s so exciting getting to go home for an entire week, huh, Todoroki?” Midoriya’s green eyes sparkled like a sunlit forest as he looked up at his friend. “It’s been so long…” 

Todoroki felt a twinge of something in his stomach. He ran a hand through his multi-colored hair, pushing the feeling away as best he could. 

“Yeah.” He said, not knowing what else to add. Everyone else seemed to burst with excitement at the prospect of going home for winter break. He briefly wondered why he wasn’t.

Uraraka ran over to them, “Deku! Todoroki! What are your plans to do once you get home?”

Panicked by her sudden appearance, Midoriya started rambling about his plans. Todoroki tried to follow their conversation, but he was having a hard time concentrating on it, or on anything really. 

His attention kept wandering to other conversations happening in the common area of the Class 1A dorms. Iida was chatting with Tokoyami about the practicality and usage of capes in hero’s costumes. Bakugou was shouting — as usual — at Kirishima and Denki, who were teaming up to sneak smelly socks into Bakugou’s bag. Ashido, Hagakure, and Jiro chatted about a new album that had just come out. Yaoyorozu walked among the conversing groups, handing out scarves she had made with her quirk and reminding everyone to stay warm over break. 

The rest of Class 1A had already been picked up by their parents. 

The energy and excitement in the room was high, and Todoroki had no idea how everyone else could match it when it just made him feel even more exhausted. 

It had taken him hours to fall asleep the previous night, and even when he did finally fall asleep, it wasn’t for long. Though it did surprise him that this had affected him so much. For most of his life, he had woken up before the sun had even risen in order to train with his father. Though, he figured, at U.A. he had gotten used to waking up no earlier than necessary for 8 o’clock classes. 

He must be growing lax. He silently vowed that, after he fixed his sleeping schedule over break, he would make sure to continue it when he got back. 

With two fingers, he squeezed the bridge of his nose, hoping to focus his thoughts back on the conversation of which he was supposed to be a part. 

“-- and that’s all I have planned.” Midoriya finished. 

“Wow, Deku! Are you going to have any free time at all?” 

Midoriya chuckled sheepishly, one hand rubbing his neck. “Not really. I just really want to keep training to be the best hero I can be!” He made a fist in front of him as he finished his sentence, emerald eyes shining with the young hero’s passion. 

The edge of Todoroki’s mouth flicked briefly into a smile. Predictable Midoriya, spending every waking hour running towards his dream. Todoroki wondered how Midoriya could be so dedicated to a dream that hadn’t been chosen for him.  

“--got it?”

Todoroki stared blankly at Midoriya. He was aware that his friend had asked him a question but had no recollection of what he might have said. “Umm…” He felt bad, he didn’t want Midoriya to feel as though he wasn’t interested. 

Midoriya must have realized that he hadn’t been paying attention. “I was just asking you to call me over break, but are you okay? You seem a little distracted.”

“Mmm?” Todoroki pulled his attention back from Bakugou’s yells of ‘idiot’ that seemed to reverberate around the room and inside his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Maybe just a little tired, that’s all.” 

Midoriya looked like he wanted to ask more, but was cut off by Kirishima. “Midoriya, your ride’s here!” Apparently, Kirishima found something more productive to do than annoy Bakugou. 

“Oh right! Bye, Todoroki, Uraraka.” He bowed, grabbed his bag, and ran out the door. “Goodbye, everyone!” 

Todoroki turned back to Uraraka, figuring he’d have to engage in the conversation now that Midoriya had left. Luckily for him though, she had already been whisked away in a discussion with Iida. 

Kirishima called for Hagakure, who left after saying her quick goodbyes. Everytime Kirishima started calling out a name, Todoroki unconsciously held his breath in anticipation of it being his. But everytime, when it wasn’t him, he let it out in a quiet sigh of relief. 

Something warm and soft was draped over his shoulders. “I knew that color would look good on you. It matches your eye.” Yaoyorozu stood in front of him, admiring her work. She had made him a turquoise colored scarf. Her black eyes shone with pride for a second, then remembered that Kirishima had just yelled that her ride had arrived. “Have a good break, Todoroki. Stay warm, everybody!” And then she rushed out. Quickly following her were Denki and Ashido, whose rides had also been called. 

The room had quieted down considerably now that only six of his classmates were still here, but strangely, it seemed louder than it had before. Every one of Bakugou’s yells made Todoroki flinch more than he wished to admit, and even Tokoyami’s quiet voice seemed louder than usual, filling up his head and making it hard to think. 

He shuffled his feet, feeling even more odd and uncomfortable than he had before. When there had been more of his classmates in the room, he could blend in while everyone chatted around him. But now that there were only six — nope, four  — others in the group (Iida and Uraraku had left without his realizing), he had lost that protection. Everyone now could see the slight differences in his behavior that Midoriya had noticed. 

“Hey, Todoroki. I know we don’t normally talk...” That was Jiro. Todoroki’s heart nearly missed a beat as she continued. “...but is something going on?” She pointed to the headphone jacks that were attached to her ears like permanent earrings. “I can hear your heart beating like crazy.”

At her words, the room went quiet (except for Bakugou). Three sets of eyes fell on him, two ruby red and one obsidian black, all shining in concern. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid. His heart started pounding even harder. 

Couldn’t they see he just wanted to be left alone? 

The only sounds now were angry huffs from Bakugou as he resolutely refused to engage in the conversation. Normally Bakugou’s tendency to not pay attention to others was something that Todoroki found mildly frustrating, but now he wished more than anything that the rest of his classmates would follow his example. 

“Now that Jiro mentioned it, you do seem a little off today.” Tokoyami added, feathered brows pressed together. 

“Yeah…” Kirishima took a step towards him, but Todoroki put up a hand to stop him. 

“I’m fine.” He said, desperately hoping that the others would believe him and leave him alone. “Really, I am. I’m–” He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and turned on the screen. 

A message from his older sister Fuyumi said, [I think Father forgot about your break today. I’ll remind him that he needs to pick you up.] 

Todoroki hurried to text her back. [No need to tell him I’ll get a taxi] 

His hands shook slightly as he awaited her reply. 

[Okay, if you’re sure]

[Yes, I am. Thanks.]

He looked up from his phone and saw that Tokoyami, Jiro, and Kirishima were still there looking at him. 

“Just my father is going to be slightly late in picking me up, that’s all,” he lied. 

“My parents just pulled up, but if you want I can ask them to wait until Endeavor gets here.” Kirishima offered. Tokoyami and Jiro echoed the sentiment. 

“No, it’s okay. I can wait b-by myself.” He silently berated himself for the stammer that had just escaped his mouth. 

 Kirishima seemed to have noticed. “Are you sure? It’s no problem for me to wait.”

“I-i’m s-sure.” 

“Really? Because—”

“Oi! Rockface!” Bakugou yelled from his spot by the door, red eyes glaring. “Leave the half and half jerk alone! Your ride’s here! Ears, Shadow Boy, yours too!” 

Never before had Todoroki felt so appreciative towards Bakugou’s gruffness. 

As they grabbed their bags, Kirishima told Todoroki, “If you need anything, just text or call me.”

Todoroki nodded stiffly, and with that, the three of them left. 

Their departure left only Bakugou and Todoroki. 

“Thanks.” Todoroki started weakly. 

But Bakugou stopped him with a yell, cursing and saying he was leaving. He shouldered his backpack and left. 

With everyone else gone, Todoroki felt his brain start to work again. It seemed to have  stopped functioning while everyone was talking, and then actually started working negatively well when they had gone silent. 

Sighing, Todoroki slid into a crouch. Now all he had to do was figure out how he was going to get home. His stomach twisted into a knot with that thought. 

It’s fine, he told himself, all he had to do was call a taxi. 

He quickly made the call and was told that there would be someone there as soon as possible, but it may take a while. It was evening rush hour and, in addition to that, snow had started to fall. It was no surprise the wait for a taxi was so long. 

After a few minutes, Aizawa, Class 1A’s homeroom teacher, walked into the dorms. He brushed off some snow that dotted his black hair and clothes, and stopped in surprise when he saw Todoroki crouching on the ground. 

“Has everyone else already gone?” 

“Yes.” Todoroki replied, careful to keep his voice neutral after the stuttering that happened last time he spoke. 

“It’s late. Why haven’t you been picked up yet?”

“My father was busy, so he called a taxi to bring me home instead.” Todoroki’s gut twisted. Why? He wondered. It wasn’t as though that was really a lie. Endeavor just hadn’t been the one to call for the taxi. 

His teacher sat down on one of the couches and leaned back, closing his eyes. “I’ll just wait here until you’re picked up then.”

Todoroki stood up, turning towards his teacher. “No, you don’t have-have to.” There was that stupid stutter again. 

Why did it always show up at the worst times?

Aizawa opened one eye and looked up at Todoroki. “As your teacher, I am expected to look after my students. And so, yes, I do have to.”

Todoroki turned away. He immediately regretted doing so since that meant he could no longer see Aizawa and, therefore, couldn’t tell what his teacher was thinking or whether he was even paying attention to Todoroki at all. “Thank – you.” He said awkwardly. 

Aizawa didn’t reply. 

After a moment, Todoroki looked back at his teacher. Somehow Aizawa seemed to have fallen asleep in just the few seconds Todoroki had been looking away. Quietly, Todoroki grabbed his bag from where it had been lying against a couch and sat down next to a window to wait for the taxi to arrive. 

The glass was cold against his skin, but he didn’t mind. It actually felt nice, with his left side for once cold. 

The pit in his stomach was still there though, squeezing his insides and making him feel sick. Even though the too-loud noises and piercing gazes of his classmates had left and he no longer had to find a way home, he still felt on edge.

Chapter Text

Todoroki had no idea how long it was until the taxi pulled up. He shouldered his bag, and looked over at his teacher. Aizawa’s chest slowly rose and fell as he slept. Todoroki glanced at the ground and then walked out into the snow.

The cold was nipping eagerly at his face and fingers by the time he closed the door to the taxi. After telling the driver where he was going, he briefly activated his left side, just enough to evaporate the snow on his clothes and hair. 

His gut twisted again as the car pulled away, but he pushed the feeling aside. He stared out the window, trying to concentrate on the snowflakes flying past to distract himself. 

His vision blurred, causing colors of the snow and the night to swirl and freeze into a dark grey color. 

There was nothing but ice cold disgust in those grey eyes. A chill forced itself down his spine and appendages. He screwed his eyes shut, hoping to black out the memory. Agonizing pain flashed around his eye as water so hot it felt cold splashed against it . His fingers clawed at his pant legs as he tried to pull himself out of the memory. 

“Hey, kid! Turn off your quirk. It’s cold enough as it is.” The taxi driver called back.

Todoroki’s head whipped around. He took in the annoyed green eyes looking at him in the rear view mirror, the cold air in the taxi, the furnace at full blast, and the tiny ice crystals forming on his right hand. He apologized and quickly forced his quirk off.

Taking deep breaths, he tried to focus on where he was: in the backseat of a taxi, not in his childhood home. 

He was in the backseat of — he was on the floor of the kitchen . Not in his childhood — his mother’s panicked hands grabbed him . In the backseat — was it scorching heat or biting cold, or just pain . Not his — he could hear his mother’s sobs .  He couldn’t breathe. “What have I done?” He couldn’t think. He— he couldn’t— he wasn’t— he— he—

He was heading back to—

“Let me out here!” 

The taxi driver gave him a strange look, but nonetheless pulled the car over. 

Todoroki stumbled out of the car. 

The car drove away. 

He fell to all fours. 

Todoroki sucked in the winter air, cold stabbing his lungs. The shock and pain of it helped pull him back into the present. 

His shoulders shook, no, not just his shoulders. His entire body shook, shivering from the cold and— and— probably just the cold. 

Slowly, Todoroki looked up, trying to figure out where he was. He seemed to be on the main road that led to the long U.A. driveway. The school was located on top of a large hill. The driveway that led up to it was the only way to the school without traveling through the forests that surrounded the school on the other three sides. 

Todoroki had no idea of where he should go. He thought of what Kirishima had told him earlier: “If you need anything, just give me a call.” But the thought of calling him after everything that had happened in only a couple hours — no, he couldn’t do that. Kirishima deserved a nice holiday with his family; he shouldn’t have to worry about Todoroki as well. 

If I can’t call my classmates or go… back there, that leaves the U.A. dorms, he thought. If he moved quick enough, he would probably be able to make it before the school closed down entirely. 

His mind now made up, he pushed himself to a standing position. Finding that he was still shivering, he activated his left ever so slightly, just enough to warm himself up. Though it only lessened the shivering. 

There was no way of knowing just how long he’d have until the security gates around the school would activate, and so he would have to be fast. And in order to do that, he would need to activate both quirks at once, which was something he was still getting used to. 

Taking a few deep breaths to summon strength, he pushed off the sidewalk. Ice formed under his feet, originating from his right side. This allowed him to skate across the cement much faster than even running. With his left, he melted the ice behind him. 

It was difficult to keep both quirks active at once, and was made all the more challenging by the fully set-in snowstorm and by his current inability to regulate his internal body temperature while using both quirks. His left arm felt like it was melting while the rest of him was numb from the cold. 

By the time Todoroki made it to the 1A dorms, his movements were sluggish and uncoordinated. He deactivated his quirks and nearly fell over with exhaustion. Having slept extremely poorly the last several days had taken a toll on Todoroki’s stamina. Between that and using an extremely draining move, he was having difficulty keeping his eyes open. He stumbled over to the door but paused with his hand on the door knob. 

Was Aizawa-sensei still asleep on the couch? If so, what would he say if Todoroki were to walk in when he should be… not here? 

Todoroki pressed the top of his head against the door. 

But what choice did he have? His legs felt like they were about to give way and he had to force his eyes to open every time he blinked. 

He pulled the door open and stumbled into the dorm. 

Glancing over at the couch, he sighed in relief. 

Aizawa had gone. 

Todoroki dragged his feet on the floor, making his way to the elevator and then up to his room. Once there, he dropped his bag on the floor and collapsed on his bed. His eyes shut and immediately he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

The weak light that made it through the snow clouds still managed to blind Todoroki as soon as he opened his eyes, causing a stab of pain through them into his brain. 

Why was he so hot? There was a snowstorm outside, but he felt as though he were next to a giant bonfire. 

He rolled over, hoping that a different position would allow him to get more sleep, but it was no use. The movement just caused his stomach to twist painfully as though it had been turned into a snake. 

Was that a reaction to his dream? What dream could have caused such a reaction? Ever since coming to UA, none of his dreams had been bad enough to cause something like this. 

No matter how hard he wracked his brain, all he could remember was staring into his father's eyes. And the rage that burned in them, hotter than blue flame. 

 He shook his head to clear the image from his head, but that just served to make him more dizzy. Which in turn added to the sweat that made his clothes stick to his body. Which made him feel more uncomfortable. Which made him feel hotter. Which made him feel more dizzy. 

All this from a dream about his father? What was wrong with him today? 

He let out a groan as he remembered all that had transpired yesterday. He was on break now, he supposed, but he hadn’t gone home like he was supposed to be. 

Would the school be angry? Would Aizawa-sensei? 

Would his father? 

A chill ran through him, so forceful, it made him shiver. 

He had to get home. Now . 

Even though it seemed to take forever for him to untangle himself from the blankets and his arms shook under his weight, he managed to make it to his feet. Wind rushed through his head and his vision flashed. His memory must have jumped, because he was suddenly on the floor. 

But I have to go, I have to get home, he thought again. But his muscles refused to let him get up, suddenly finding the tatami flooring to be the most comfortable place in the world. 

Father will have harsher words and more lessons if I don’t go now. That thought vaguely crossed Todoroki’s mind. 

But maybe if I stay here, I’ll just melt into the floor. Heaven knows he certainly felt hot enough to. 

Yes, he thought. I’ll just melt. Become worthless sludge. 

A smile tugged at his mouth as he imagined he, Todoroki Shouto, the most prized possession of his father, of the #1 Hero, melting into literal trash. Oh the humiliation his father would feel…

These were his last thoughts before he gave into the darkness.

It was dark when Todoroki next awoke. 

The cold sweat dampening his clothes provided high contrast with his burning throat and face. He needed water, but his body was far too heavy to get up. Reluctantly, he pushed himself off of the floor, because for some reason he had fallen asleep there. 

A quirk must have placed the world in slow motion, because it took far too long for him to rise to his feet. By the time he managed to get up, a terrible pounding had formed in his head. 

Head in a fog, he stumbled to the bathroom and shoved his head under the tap. 

Cool water ran through his hair and dripped off his face. 

The cold of the tap lessened the pounding in his temples, enough so that he could see clearly as he scooped water to his mouth with his cupped hands. 

After quenching his thirst, he looked up into the mirror. 

His multicolored fringe now lay plastered against his forehead, and he thought perhaps the bag under his good eye was a bit darker than before. 

And, although he didn’t want to look at it, inevitably his gaze fell on that red scar and the turquoise eye gleaming out from behind the red strands. 

He reached up and covered his left eye with a hand. His hand wasn’t nearly large enough to completely cover the scar and pretend it wasn’t there. But it did cover the eye. 

It was hideous, he had been told. 

Hideous, sinister, monstrous. 

Only once, when he was extremely little, could Todoroki ever remember having liked his left eye. 

He could recall admiring his left eye in the mirror while his mother combed his messy hair, pointing at it, and proudly proclaiming to his mother’s reflection, “I look like dad! I can be a hero too!!” 

That was back before… well, everything. 

With his father’s eye covered, only his mother’s eye could stare back at him. Normally to him, his mother’s eye appeared warm like a fuzzy, grey kitten; but for some reason, it now looked more like the ashes of a fire. 

Exhaustion weighing down on his eyelids. He tiredly went back to his room, one hand crossed over his chest, the other still over his eye. 

Chapter Text

“You’re doing it wrong, Shouto! You always do it wrong!” 

Endeavor grabbed Shouto’s much smaller, child-sized hands. The hands began to heat up and Shouto cried out in pain. 

Shouto looked up at his father’s angry face through the tears in his eyes. “Please stop…” he asked in a small, small voice.

“You messed up, Shouto! I won’t stop until you get it right.”  

Endeavor disappeared, but the heat in his hands continued.  

Fire poured out from his left, setting the training room ablaze. 

The heat seemed to go on and on. He couldn’t escape it. 

It went on and on, until it seemed as though he had been stuck there for days .

Stop! He thought. 

Please, no more fire. No more heat. No more…

He had to get away from the fire, from the anger and pain it brought with it. 

Ice poured uncontrollably from his right. 

It spread to every corner of the room, encasing everything in a frozen calm. 

The fires went out. 

The anger disappeared. 

The pain vanished. 

Finally it was quiet. 

Quiet.

Frozen. 

Numb. 

Todoroki awoke with a gasp. 

He was breathing hard and shivering. 

His hair was still slightly damp, adding to the coldness he was feeling. He clumsily wrapped the scarf from Yaoyorozu around himself in an attempt to warm up. 

Wait, I can warm up just like always. I can use my quirk. 

Todoroki wondered why he hadn’t thought of that sooner. He summoned the power to use his left side, but he didn’t feel any warmer. 

He tried again. But the same thing didn’t happen. 

He was still very cold, chilled to his core. 

He struggled to sit up and look around his bedroom.

Had he been wrong last night about Aizawa-sensei having left? Had he found Todoroki in his room when he should have been home? Was he somewhere in here, erasing his quirk?

His right side pricked slightly as he summoned his ice quirk. Ice crystals formed on the tips of his fingers and on the bottom of the scarf, upon which his hand rested. So, no, his quirk wasn’t erased. Only his left wasn’t working. 

Maybe Aizawa-sensei was looking at him while winking?

That’s stupid, he told himself. Not to mention, there was no sign of his teacher or anyone else in the room. 

He was having a hard time with logic. His brain was just too heavy. 

Tea, maybe tea will make things make more sense. 

Tea would help. 

Tea…

…was good. 

He stood up quickly, and very nearly hit the floor even quicker. He caught himself on his desk chair. 

Standing up quickly equals bad idea, he thought as dizziness washed over him. 

The edges of his vision swam as he made his way to the elevator. He pressed the down button but nothing happened. 

Aizawa-sensei had said the electricity would be turned off. 

Todoroki groaned. He would have to take the stairs. 

Going down the stairs was difficult, to say the least. Every step seemed to jumble through his entire body and rattle inside his brain. By some miracle, he made it to the kitchen. 

His hand shook as he filled the kettle. He placed it on the stove, and then sank to the floor, leaning against the cabinet. 

He’d close his eyes for only a second, he told himself. He’d get up soon. 

Chapter Text

The kettle whistled. Its piercing shriek the last thing Shouto heard before—  

His eyes fluttered open. 

The whistling sound had disappeared. 

That was weird. Surely that's what awoke him? 

Todoroki slowly stood up to check on how the tea was coming. 

He had forgotten to turn the stove on. 

He turned the knob. There was telltale hiss of the gas turning on, but not the click on the igniter. He turned it off, puzzled. 

The electricity was off, he reminded himself. 

Todoroki sighed. 

Wait, he didn’t need the electricity. He could just use his fire quirk. 

Why did he keep forgetting such simple things?  

He turned the knob again, but this time he used his fire quirk to ignite the flame. 

But his left didn’t work. 

Todoroki turned off the gas and growled with frustration. “Not again!” 

Then, he thought again of his teacher winking at him, erasing only half of his power. And suddenly, that was the funniest thing in the world. 

Out of nowhere, he started laughing. 

He laughed out loud. 

He could barely remember ever laughing like this before. 

He laughed so hard it hurt. 

He laughed so hard, his legs gave out and he fell to the floor.

But it was still so funny . 

While he laughed, his scarf had gotten caught on the kettle. So when he fell, it came crashing to the floor too. 

The noise startled him out of his glee.  

The color of the scarf attracted his attention. Yaoyorozu had said its turquoise color was like his right eye. 

Like his father’s eyes. 

He screamed.

Chapter Text

Screaming. 

He was screaming. 

He was on the ground.

Run. Get away, he thought. 

He got up. 

There was water on the floor. 

He slipped. 

His knees hurt. His knees hurt so bad . 

No, wait, his face should hurt. 

“Oh, Shouto.”  

Why was it his knees, head, and throat that hurt?

“I’m so sorry, Shouto.”  

Why didn’t his face hurt ? 

“What have I done?”  

He was so dizzy. So confused. 

He was on the kitchen floor. There was water around him , so why didn’t his face hurt?

His vision blurred. Why was everything wrong? 

“You’re doing it wrong, Shouto!”  

Why was he so wrong? 

“You always do it wrong!”  

Why was he always so wrong? 

Hands grabbed him. 

Good, he thought. Something was right. He was supposed to be grabbed.  

But was it his mother who grabbed him? Or his father? 

He looked up. 

He— he couldn’t tell. 

His vision was too blurry. All he could see was something black.

“Iz wrong…” he mumbled.

He opened his eyes. 

“—kid. Wake up, kid.”

The voice was quiet but urgent. 

The voice… was Aizawa-sensei’s! 

In alarm, Todoroki pushed himself up into a sitting position. His teacher couldn’t see him like this, no one could. He would tell his father and then—

Pain punctured his head and stomach. 

He threw up. 

“Hey, hey! Don’t move so—” 

His head spun, and his senses disappeared. 

There was nothing left but pain and nausea. 

A hand touched his back and began to rub between his shoulder blades. The touch brought some comfort, but not enough to soothe his insides. 

Todoroki threw up again. 

“— okay. Get it out, as much as you need—.” 

Bile and stomach acid filled his mouth. It was all he could taste, all he could smell, all he could experience — except for the hand on his back. The gentle touch gave him a grounding point, a place of calm while his body acted beyond his control. 

Todoroki’s stomach heaved, forcing out every bit of its contents. 

His head swirled. He felt himself falling. 

An arm wrapped around him, and then he was leaning against Aizawa. 

He retched. There was pain in his throat and stomach as hot stomach acid made its way up and out, dripping down his chin. 

His body still wanted to get rid of more but there was nothing left. He was left painfully dry heaving.

“— everything out. You’ll feel better when you’re done, Shouto. It’s okay—”

Had Sensei been talking so gently the entire time? 

Todoroki coughed a few times as his stomach settled a bit. 

“Oh, are you done?” 

A hand left Todoroki’s arm and started to brush the sweat plastered hair off his forehead. 

Todoroki began to shiver again, damp from the kettle water, sweat, and vomit. His head still pounded, though less so now. He felt like his insides had all been coughed out, leaving him hollowed out. 

But, he also felt… better? 

The gentleness of the hand in his hair, the strength of the arm holding him up, the warmth of touching another human being. 

His eyelids felt heavy. He wanted to sleep. 

Aizawa shifted Todoroki so that his back was against a cabinet, and then stood up. 

Todoroki stirred himself awake enough to look up at his teacher, “Don’ ’ go. Please.” 

“We need to get you warmed up and cleaned up.” Aizawa pressed his hand against Todoroki’s forehead. “I promise I’ll be—” Todoroki’s eyes closed briefly. “— as I can.” 

Aizawa left the room, and Todoroki drifted off.

Chapter Text

There was heat all around him, but not from a fire. This heat was calm and comforting, not angry and painful. 

He liked this heat. 

He wished he could stay there forever, surrounded by warmth, free from everything. 

No worries. 

No pain.

Only warmth. 

But consciousness was quickly returning to him. 

Todoroki reluctantly opened his eyes. 

He was on one of the couches in the common area. A damp towel had been draped across his forehead and a blanket folded over him. 

An attempt to get up caused Aizawa to appear next to him and help him sit up. 

Aizawa pressed a cup to Todoroki’s lips. He turned his head away, not ready to try to stomach anything. 

“Wash the taste out.”

Todoroki hadn’t noticed until now just how awful his mouth felt. He took a sip and swirled it around in his mouth. Aizawa held up a trash can and he spit the water into it. 

“Now try to drink a little.” 

Todoroki hesitantly drank a few mouthfuls. 

His stomach didn’t immediately reject the liquid, and he felt a little better. 

He noticed that his outer, button-down shirt had been removed and so had his socks. They must have been completely soaked. The neck of his T-shirt and his pants were both still a little damp, but at least any traces of vomit had been wiped away. 

Todoroki wanted to thank his teacher for all he had done, but he felt too awkward and embarrassed. Not only had Aizawa walked in on him collapsed on the kitchen floor in a puddle of water, but then Todoroki had even — oh god, no... 

Had he thrown up on Aizawa-sensei? 

He glanced at his teacher’s clothing, trying to see if they were different than before. He thought hard about what Aizawa had been wearing. All he could remember was that it had been black, which wasn’t much help since his current outfit was also black. But the teacher’s signature grey scarf had been removed and was nowhere to be seen.

He went pale, horrified as he realized what must have happened. 

“Do you feel sick again?” Aizawa pulled the trash can closer. 

“No, I’m fine.” He couldn’t look his teacher in the eye. Embarrassment and guilt coursed through him. 

“If you’re sure…” Aizawa turned so that he was facing forward on the couch. “I won’t ask why you didn’t go home or what else is going on, but we do need to figure out where you’re going to stay for the next five days.” 

Five days? There were only five days left of break?! Todoroki’s head reeled. Had it really been nearly two days?! His friends had left Saturday night, which meant he had slept all of Sunday and into Monday. 

“—call Endeavor to come pick you up.” 

“No, don’t!” Todoroki nearly yelled, or at least he said it much louder than he had meant. He couldn’t help it. When he heard ‘Endeavor,’ his insides twisted again and his eyes prickled. He couldn’t go back there. Not now, maybe not ever. 

”You’re doing it wrong, Shouto!”  

Why did he think of that now? What was wrong?

“You always do it wrong!”  

Realization dawned on him and sent a chill down his spine: he always did things wrong, every decision he made was wrong, including not going home this break. 

Every one of his decisions had been wrong. 

He had been wrong. 

He was wrong. 

He should just suck it up and go home. 

“Actually, sensei, you can—” 

He hiccuped. 

Student and teacher met each other’s gaze. 

Todoroki quickly looked away, unable to read his teacher’s expression. “You can call my—” he hiccuped again. 

What was wrong with him?

“I can call your… father, I assume?” Aizawa correctly guessed the end of his sentence. 

Todoroki nodded, hiccuping again. 

“I can, but…” his teacher’s tone was gentler as he continued, “... do you want me to call your father?” 

They met eyes again.

A single tear traced its way down Todoroki’s right cheek. 

No, stop, he thought. He already seemed so pitiful. He didn’t want to cry as well. 

But the thing was that, no, he didn’t want to go back to his father’s house. And the thought of doing so — well, it was enough to make him feel like throwing up again. 

He ducked his head, trying to stop any more tears from falling. He had been succeeding up until Aizawa’s arms folded around him and pulled him into a hug. 

He hugged Todoroki as a parent hugs their frightened child. 

It was too much. 

Todoroki broke. 

Chapter Text

Todoroki had given up fighting. 

Tears streamed steadily down his face. He couldn’t stop them even if he had been trying. 

Aizawa’s arms were around him, making him wonder if he had ever been held like this before? Maybe years ago, by his mother. 

Never by his father. 

His sobs intermixed with hiccups. It was difficult to breathe. 

A part of him was embarrassed and wanted to push away. But the other part of him needed this more than anything. He needed the steady arms on his back to keep him present, keep him from slipping away.

The voice in his head still yelled at him, saying that he was doing things wrong, that he was wrong. 

Although, somehow, right now the voice was quieter. It didn’t make sense to him why that would be, but he was glad of it nonetheless. 

That voice rarely left him alone. 

It was just there, at all times. 

As constant as the scar on his face. 

A second wave hit him. 

Why were things like this? Why did that voice have to always be there? Why did it influence him so much? Why did everything have to be so messed up? 

His hands grasped the blanket on his lap as he let despair wash over him. 

He didn’t want to feel like this. Why did he have to feel like this? 

He had so many questions to which there were no answers, at least, no answer he knew. 

The only answer he knew was pain. 

Pain in his face many years ago, pain from his father correcting him, pain as he hid from and lied to his friends. 

Everything hurt . 

And he had no idea how to stop it.

Chapter Text

Todoroki’s forehead was pressed against Aizawa’s shoulder. Vaguely, in the back of his head, he hoped he wasn’t ruining more of his teacher’s clothes as he sobbed into his shirt. 

Slowly, very slowly, his sobs lessened. His tears tapered off, and his shoulders stopped shaking. He still hiccuped occasionally, but even those had nearly abated. 

Todoroki pulled away. 

There was an awkward pause. Then a question popped into his head. “How did you know I was here?” 

“To be honest, I kind of suspected you wouldn’t be going home this break, but I couldn’t get back here until the snowstorm let up.” 

“You could… tell? How…?” 

“You’ve had huge bags under your eyes, missed easy questions in class, and refused to talk about the break to any of your classmates.” 

“Oh…” He was surprised his teacher had picked up on all of that. People normally didn’t. He thought he had been doing a decent job at hiding it. “How did you figure out where I was?”

“You screamed?”

“Oh, yeah…” He curled forward into himself, remembering the terror he had felt. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the turquoise of the scarf on the coffee table. His heartbeat sped up. He looked away, trying to push back the fright that found a leak into his brain. 

“You haven’t eaten since Saturday, right?” 

The question startled Todoroki out of his thoughts. “Umm, yeah?” 

Aizawa mumbled something under his breath and handed him a plastic bag from the side table. “Eat this. I need to make a quick call.” 

Todoroki opened the bag as his teacher stepped away to make the call. He pulled out a pre-wrapped sandwich and opened it quietly. His stomach slightly protested the food, but overall, Todoroki felt better with food in him. 

The person who Aizawa had called must have picked up, because he started talking, “Yes, hi, Hizashi.” 

Hizashi? Who was Hizashi? Todoroki wondered. Oh, Yamada Hizashi, their teacher Present Mic. 

Why was Sensei calling another teacher?

Unless… Todoroki was in trouble. 

Of course he would be in trouble, he silently berated his clunky brain, mentally slapping his forehead. He had snuck back to school when he was supposed to be on break, and then he had to go and get tears, snot, and vomit on his teacher’s clothes. 

With a start, Todoroki realized he had been nodding off and missed a part of the conversation. 

“-- be on our way soon” There was a slight pause as Yamada responded, and then Aizawa ended the call. 

“Where’re we goin’?” Todoroki asked, words slurring. He was suddenly much more tired. 

“I will be back in a minute.” 

Todoroki blinked, and somehow Aizawa was back with Todoroki’s backpack in hand. 

“Are you up to walking to my car?” 

“Mmm…” He said, drowsiness making his confirmation incompresible. He got stiffly to his feet. He swayed slightly until his teacher put his arm out to steady him. 

“Are you sure you can make it?” 

“Mmm…” He responded, not knowing whether that was a yes or a no. He closed his eyes.

He just felt so tired.

Chapter Text

Todoroki had no idea how he got into the backseat of the car. He remembered standing up off the couch, blinking, and then being here. 

It was a little unnerving. 

Did his teacher have a transportation quirk as well? That would make sense in a way. It would explain how Aizawa had found him in the kitchen, how he had retrieved Todoroki’s bag from his room so quickly, and how they got to the car without Todoroki noticing. 

With that settled in his brain, he could comprehend more of what was going on. He sat on the tan leather seat behind the driver’s seat, which was occupied by Aizawa. The weak winter sunset filtered through the windows. 

They were heading to… 

Todoroki searched his memory, trying to figure out where Aizawa would be driving them. The only thing that came to his mind was that his teacher had said, ‘call Endeavor.’ 

His heart started pounding. 

“Sensei,” he began tentatively. He hated how unsteady and small his voice sounded. “You’re not driving me home, r-right?” 

Aizawa glanced at him through the rear view mirror. Only his teacher’s black eyes were visible in the mirror. Todoroki couldn’t read his expression. 

“Correct.” His teacher replied. 

A wave of relief and exhaustion flowed through him as he let out the breath he had been holding. 

He was surprised to find that he believed his teacher, that he wasn’t worried that his teacher would do anything such as tell his father without his express permission. 

With the warm feeling inside him, he dozed off. 

The car had stopped when Todoroki next awoke. He had no idea how long they had been driving, though by now the sun had fully set. 

He pushed himself up so that he was no longer leaning against the door of the car and looked around. The car was parked outside a plain, two story house. All the snow from the snowstorm a few days ago had melted, leaving the ground only slightly damp. 

Aizawa was nowhere to be found. 

Small spikes of panic shot through him. 

Why? It wasn’t as though being in a parked car is particularly scary, just… he wished his teacher hadn’t left.

As he recalled, earlier, Aizawa had called Yamada. 

He glanced out the window again. 

Did that mean this was Present Mic’s house? It didn’t make sense that they would go to his English teacher’s house for just a punishment, so why did they come here?

He wished Aiwaza was there so that he could answer Todoroki’s questions. He was just so confused. 

A pain had formed behind his eyes, making it all the more difficult to think. He wished he could just sleep, but his body seemed to reject the idea. Despite the exhaustion that weighed down his bones, he couldn’t escape to the numbness of sleep. 

A figure was heading towards the car. The figure was blurry, and Todoroki realized that his entire vision had gotten foggy. He blinked rapidly, trying to force his eyes to focus. 

While he was preoccupied with clearing his vision, the figure reached the car. Todoroki’s door was opened by Aizawa, who told him to get out. He complied.  

The door was slammed shut behind him, sending stabbing pain through his head. 

His teacher told him something, but the throbbing in his head caused him to miss words. “You — the house. — grabbed your —.” 

Todoroki started walking towards the house, but his steps felt heavy and he couldn’t be sure he was actually walking in a straight line. 

His teacher appeared next to him. 

“To—oki? — you —?”  

Todoroki’s eyes closed. As much as he appreciated everything his teacher had done for him, he didn’t have the energy for the punishment that was coming. In fact, he suddenly didn’t have the energy to even hold himself up. 

He slumped forward. 

Aizawa’s voice sounded distant. “--oroki!”

Chapter Text

Fog swarmed his brain, muffling his senses. 

Muffled thumps and other sounds found their way into Todoroki’s brain, but they were all too unintelligible for him to understand. 

He opened his eyes again, and immediately his senses popped back into use. 

Where before the sounds were quiet and mumbled, they were now sharp and altogether much too loud. 

He covered his ears in an attempt to stop all the noises. His eyes were open, but he couldn’t see anything that actually made sense. 

A vicious feeling cramped through his stomach, spurred on by the onslaught of noise and light. 

Something brushed against his arm. He flinched away. 

The quick movement sent his head spinning. He gulped in air, hoping to clear his head; but each breath just added to the dizziness. 

He threw out his arm, needing something — anything — to hold onto, something that could keep him present. 

His hand bumped against something and he latched onto it. 

Just having that helped calm him down. The wild lights in his vision began to settle and the noises quieted to normal levels. His head still swam and there was still a tight sensation in his stomach, but he was able to understand what was going on better than before. 

He faced the pavement of the driveway. An arm across his chest supported him so that he wouldn’t fall any further towards the cement. Another arm was looped around his arm to keep him from falling sideways. 

Blinking several times to restore clarity to his vision, he found himself looking at the hand he had thrown out in an attempt to grab something. It tightly clasped the loose fabric of his teacher’s pant leg. 

Embarrassed, he released the tension in his hand and let his arm fall to his side. 

“‘M okay.” He said as he pulled away from his teacher’s grip. He didn’t want to meet his teacher’s eyes, not when he had been messing up so much; but somehow he still found himself making eye contact with his teacher. 

Todoroki had been embarrassed at everything that had happened. But when he looked at Aizawa, he realized that embarrassment was the farthest thing from his teacher’s mind. 

Aizawa’s eyebrows were pressed low and in his eyes... he looked so concerned . 

The sludge in his brain made his thoughts slow. Why would Aizawa-sensei be concerned about him? 

Todoroki was just tired. 

That was all. 

And his tiredness wasn’t something that anyone else had to worry about. 

He had also messed up countless times in the last few days, but again, that wasn’t something for his teacher to be concerned about. That was between him and his father. 

His stomach squirmed again, and he suddenly realized what was going to happen. 

“Need, bathroom. Gonna, throw up.” He said through gasps, trying to settle his stomach enough to make it to the toilet. 

Aizawa helped him stand up and half supported him as they rushed towards the house as fast as Todoroki could manage. 

It was all Todoroki could do to hold back the nausea. 

They entered through the front door, which was for some reason already propped open. Yamada looked up from the blankets he was putting on the living room couch. “What—?” He started to ask.

Aizawa cut him off, “Bathroom.” 

And then they were in a hallway. Two doors and a set of stairs branched off it. The door on the right led to a small, but clean bathroom. 

Todoroki tried to make it to the toilet. He really did.

But the sudden harshness of the bathroom light turning on tipped him over the edge. 

He pushed away from Aizawa, desperate to not throw up on his teacher again. Which meant that the first round of vomit went down the side of the sink counter. 

Aizawa grabbed Todoroki under his arms and moved him to the toilet. 

Todoroki tried to prop himself up as he heaved again. His arms slipped on the shiny porcelain and he nearly smashed his face into the edge of the toilet bowl. 

A hand caught Todoroki’s head as he slipped. Aizawa’s voice said, “Let’s not add head injury to the list of things wrong with you.” 

What things that were wrong with him was Sensei talking about? What did he know? Todoroki wondered vaguely, until another round of heaving drove all thoughts from his mind. 

His throat burned as stomach acid found its way up and out. 

Waves of sickness wracked through him, his vision swam, and he lost all sense of direction. 

Another painful heave passed through his body. 

He let out a quiet whimper, the pain suddenly too much to bear silently.

Chapter Text

Aizawa propped his sick student up over the toilet. He felt bad for the kid, and found himself prickling with anger at the thought of how Todoroki could have reached this point. Because, no matter how Aizawa thought about it, there was only one answer. 

Endeavor. 

The kid had been terrified of this break for weeks, and the only explanation for that was that he couldn’t face going back home to his father. 

He thought about earlier when he had suggested calling Endeavor. You could almost feel the panic in Todoroki’s voice. The kid even gave himself hiccups from holding back tears and stress. And that wasn’t even mentioning the noticeable weight loss, fever, fainting, and throwing up. 

Aizawa wanted to track down Endeavor right then and— 

His thoughts were interrupted by a small whimper. Immediately he turned his focus back on his student. 

Todoroki, who had always been naturally pale, had gone several shades lighter than even he had been when Aizawa had found him in the 1A Dorm Kitchen. Sweat covered the student, and his eyes were tightly shut. Tremors of nausea ran through him, and he could barely hold himself up. 

His student attempted to whisper something, but Aizawa couldn’t make it out. 

“Aw, kid. Don’t try to talk. Just breathe. Get it all out. It’s okay.” 

They stayed there for a long time. 

Every time Aizawa thought Todoroki might be done, another set of heaving would overtake him. At this point, he didn’t even have anything left to bring up, only a small amount of saliva. 

Yet again, Aizawa cursed the #1 Hero. He wanted to make Endeavor pay for this, for every tear, whimper, and cry of pain Todoroki Shouto had ever released — or held back — because of his father. 

Eventually even the dry heaving stopped, and Todoroki fell into a light doze. The student had fallen back against Aizawa, and now lay reclined against his teacher. 

They sat on the bathroom floor, Aizawa carefully unsticking the dual colored hair from his student’s forehead. 

Aizawa quietly called out, “Hizashi?” 

Almost instantaneously, his husband appeared in the doorway. 

“Looks like the kid is done, for now at least,” Aizawa explained in a low tone. “Can you help me get him to the couch, love?” 

“Yes, of course,” Yamada answered, much quieter than he normally did when he was around students. The voice he had used now could almost pass as quiet. 

Almost. 

Todoroki stirred at the sound of his English teacher’s voice and tried to sit up. Aizawa put his arm around Todoroki, knowing full well that at the moment Todoroki didn’t have the energy to keep himself up. 

Yamada crossed the bathroom — careful to avoid the vomit that hadn’t made it into the toilet — and helped maneuver Todoroki so that Aizawa could pick him up. 

Todoroki tried again to say something, words too slurred to make out. 

“Hush. It’s okay, kid. Just go back to sleep.” 

Todoroki let himself relax into Aiwaza’s arms and closed his eyes. He didn’t stir once as Aizawa lowered him gently onto the couch and covered him with blankets. 

Yamada walked over to his husband. “Another stray, huh?” 

Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “We should go to bed.” But he didn’t make any move to leave. Putting his arm around Aizawa’s shoulders, Yamada gently led his husband up the stairs, Aizawa acquiescing to his guidance. 

Aizawa got ready for bed mechanically. Yamada could almost see the gears in his husband’s brain at full power, trying to figure out what he could do to help his student. 

As they got into bed, Yamada reached over and grabbed Aizawa’s hand. Giving it a quick kiss, he said, “Goodnight, my love. Try to get some sleep.”

Chapter Text

The burning in his throat and the terrible taste in his mouth were the first things of which Todoroki became aware after waking up. He pushed himself into a sitting position and realized that he was on a couch in an unfamiliar house. 

Vague memories of Aizawa driving him here drifted through his head, but the pain in his throat took his attention away from where he was or how he got here. 

He needed water. 

Tentatively, he extricated himself from the blankets that had been piled on top of him and stood up. He immediately felt dizzy, though not enough to feel like throwing up — of which he was very glad. 

The kitchen connected to the living room and was situated across from the front door. 

Todoroki made his way to the sink. He flicked on a light located right above it. The light illuminated a wooden tray containing clean glasses. 

Fumbling with the glass, he swirled the water around in his mouth and spit into the sink. He turned and leaned against the counter, taking a few gulps of water to soothe this throat. 

With the dim sink light on, Todoroki could make out more of the room. Several feet of tile extended out from the cupboards and delineated the kitchen area. Where the tile ended, a hard wood floor spanned the rest of the living room and the hall on the wall to the right of the kitchen. A dining table sat to the left, acting as a divider between the two spaces. 

On top of the table was Todoroki’s backpack — Aizawa-sensei must have brought it in from the car —, and on top of that lay the turquoise scarf. 

An inferno blazed behind his father’s eyes.  

He slapped his hand over his mouth. He couldn’t scream again. 

“You’re weak, Shouto!” 

No! 

He fought back the memory. 

He gasped for breath, but it escaped him.

He couldn’t — wouldn’t — think of that right now. 

Pain speared his gut.  

“Hi!” 

Todoroki jumped at the sound. He fell on his bottom, dropping his cup in the process. The glass shattered as it hit the tile, causing Todoroki to flinch again. 

“Oh no!” said the voice. “I didn’t mean to—” 

Unsteadily, Todoroki looked around and saw who was talking. A young girl with long silver hair peeked at him from the hallway. 

Eri. 

She was the little girl whom many heroes had fought so hard to rescue, and whom Aizawa had consequently adopted. 

But why was she here at Present Mic’s house? 

The sight of her temporarily shocked Todoroki out of his thoughts as a new host of questions filled his mind. 

She looked worried, scared, as she fiddled with her long, silver hair. He couldn’t think of what to do to help her. 

He held out his hand and began to say he was fine. His words were interrupted by her little squeak. Her eyes went wide. 

“There’s blood!” 

Todoroki vaguely wondered what she was talking about. 

“I should — I should get Dad!” She disappeared back up the stairs. 

He turned his head back so that he was no longer craning his head over his shoulder. Yet again, he caught sight of that sickly color. 

A coil of nausea settled heavily in his gut. 

Pain flared through his stomach, and suddenly he was on all fours. His breath had been torn out of him and— 

No, no, no. Stop!

He was coughing up the contents of his stomach, choking as he tried to regain his breath at the same time. 

He covered his face with his hands. As they made contact, a few spikes of pain pricked his skin, but he paid it no attention. The darkness behind his hands wasn’t calming, as he had hoped it would. Instead the memories only got clearer. 

He clutched at his stomach, pain echoing through his body. Tears fell freely down his face, the drops mixing with the vomit on the floor. His mother’s arms curled around him. His father’s boots stood in front of him. 

He heard voices, but they were indistinct. 

He strained to hear.  

Slowly, slowly, the voices came into focus. 

“--oki. Todoroki Shouto, kid, I need you to focus—” 

Who was saying that?

The voices — well, one voice as he could now tell — was one he recognized. 

It didn’t sound like his mother’s, but his dad would never say something so gently. 

Todoroki made an effort to continue focusing on that voice. The voice was soothing and Todoroki wanted to continue listening to it. 

Concentrating on something was difficult, but he tried. 

“--my voice. Can you—? Just —. All you — to do. —just focus. That’s all. — take a deep breath.” 

Unconsciously, Todoroki followed the instructions. 

“Good job. Just — breathing. Just focus. Just breathe.” 

After Todoroki had calmed his breathing a bit, the voice asked him to move his hands away from his face. He complied numbly. 

Todoroki blinked a few times at the sudden light. 

After he removed his hands from his face, the voice — which belonged to Aizawa-sensei — said. “Your face too, kid? No matter, we can take care of that. Though we need to get you away from the glass first.” 

What about his face? What glass? Todoroki couldn’t comprehend anything he was saying. His eyes unfocused, and he gave himself to Aizawa’s charge.

Chapter Text

“Kid, you still with me?” 

Aizawa noticed his student’s eyes glaze over. He knew not to touch the student without warning. Todoroki had always shown a dislike of physical contact and, with him in this state, in the current situation Aizawa couldn’t risk him jerking away and getting any more cuts from the broken glass. 

He could only talk. 

“Hey, kid.” No response. Not surprising. “Todoroki, Todoroki. Shouto?” He said the last word with a slightly different intonation, which seemed to gently shock Todoroki back into responding. 

“Mmm?” He hummed a question and looked up into his teacher’s eyes. 

It was unsettling. 

Those eyes, one grey, one turquoise — both normally icily detached — had lost all traces of their former confidence. What was left was vulnerable, anxious, and scared. Those hollow eyes, framed by the blood from his hands and small cuts on his face, sent a chill through Aizawa. 

What had happened that could rattle his unshakeable student so much? 

It alarmed Aizawa to think that something like this could happen to someone so young. And that the most likely culprit was Japan’s current #1 Hero. 

He silently cursed himself for not doing anything as soon as his student first showed signs of things not being right at home. Heck, even his student’s most distinguishing feature, his scar, spoke of some unknown, probably unspeakable event. 

“Sen-sei?” Todoroki’s voice broke a little as he spoke. “What did you say? Sorry, I-I didn’t hear…” 

Aizawa cursed himself again. Here he was, trying to guess what might have happened, when his student was right in front of him in need of medical attention. The Todoroki Shouto of the present needed him now . Once he was taken care of then — and only then —  could Aizawa figure out how to help the kid with his past. 

And right now they needed to get Todoroki out of the immediate danger of broken glass. 

“Can I touch you?” 

Todoroki nodded, and Aizawa gently grabbed his wrists, careful not to touch the cuts or blood on his palms. Aizawa helped him stand up, guided him around the glass, and to the couch. He quickly grabbed the first aid from the laundry room and then returned. 

Although Aizawa was aware that he had only been gone for a brief time, he was still surprised that Todoroki hadn’t moved at all. It was like he was completely frozen. Aizawa sat down next to him and asked to see his hands. Todoroki silently held them out. 

His left hand was mostly fine, with only a couple shallow cuts. But his right hand was a different story. There were several deep cuts and several more shallow ones. Little bits of glass poked out of some of the wounds, and blood still oozed from many. 

Closing his eyes for a second, Aizawa took a deep breath. 

This was going to hurt. Aizawa was going to have to hurt the kid. There was no getting around that. It had to be done. 

He briefly informed Todoroki as to what he would be doing and set to work, all the while telling himself it was necessary to cause him this extra pain.

Chapter Text

Todoroki could barely feel his teacher pull out the first shard; but by the second, he had regained enough connection with the present to gasp from the pain. The cuts on his hands felt like little daggers. 

Stabs of hot and cold shot down his arm. 

He was covered in sweat by the time Aizawa reached the fourth shard. A small whimper accompanied the removal of the fifth shard. 

The pain had led to a strange imbalance: his consciousness drifted away, but kept being sharply returned by another stab of pain. 

Aizawa had moved onto cleaning the wounds, but that was hardly any better. The cleaning solution sent flares of pain farther through his body, making him feel dizzy and shaky. 

All Todoroki wanted to do was pull his hands away, curl up under the soft blankets, and drift away from the pain. 

Fortunately, though, Aizawa was proficient in cleaning and bandaging wounds from years of hero work, and soon finished with his hands. 

He then told Todoroki that he needed to take care of the cuts on his face too. 

Todoroki sucked in a breath. He already felt bad enough as it was without having someone touch his scar as well. Though he did understand that it had to be done. 

Swallowing quickly, Todoroki nodded his understanding and consent. 

“You can tell me to stop at any time, okay? If you need a break from it or anything, put a hand up and I’ll stop until you put it back down.” 

Todoroki gave another tight nod. 

“I’m going to start now.” 

Aizawa slowly raised his hand towards him, and Todoroki couldn’t help flinching away.
“Sorry…” He said through tight breaths. 

“No need to apologize. Just do your best. I’m going to start moving again.” 

Todoroki squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. 

The wet cloth touched the right side of his face. 

Todoroki immediately flinched back, throwing his hands in the air. “Stop!” He gasped. “I — can’t! — Too — much!” 

Aizawa withdrew his hand. “Breathe. Deep breaths. I know it’s hard…” 

After a few shaky breaths, Todoroki calmed down enough to open his eyes. “Sorry…” 

“You don’t need to apologize, okay?” 

Todoroki nodded. If Sensei didn’t want him to apologize, he would try not to. 

“Here’s what we’re going to do.” Aizawa grabbed a blanket off the couch and handed it to Todoroki. “You can squeeze this as much as you need. And I’ll also tell you a story while I work. Try to focus on the words. Can you do that?” 

Todoroki licked his lips nervously. “Yeah, I-I think so…” 

“Just try your best. And lift your hand if you need me to stop. I’m going to move my hand again now.” 

The second touch, again on his right, caused Todoroki to grip the blanket so hard his knuckles turned white. Pain shot through his hand from the cuts on them, but he paid it little attention. All his concentration was on not flinching. He couldn’t fail again. 

 Aizawa had been talking, but Todoroki hadn’t heard anything until he said, “Todoroki, focus on my words.”

Todoroki bit the side of his mouth and forced himself the best he could to listen. 

“Not long after Hizashi and I moved into this house, I noticed a stray cat roaming around the neighborhood…”

The first cuts were cleaned. 

“She looked painfully thin so I started leaving out food scraps for her, like chicken and lunch meat…” 

Aizawa finished Todoroki’s right side. He briefly informed him that he’d need to move on to the other side. 

Todoroki raised his hand. He needed a moment to breathe. 

Aizawa continued the story as Todoroki took time to calm down. “One day, she was waiting for me when I came out to feed her, and actually followed after me into the house. By that time, we had been talking about getting a cat for a while…”  

Todoroki lowered his shaky hand. Aizawa gently pressed the cloth against his left, against his scar. 

He nearly screamed. 

He threw up his hands once again. “Not ready.” He rasped, fighting back the nausea. “Sorry, sorry, sorry…” He repeated it like a mantra. Tears sprung to his eyes. 

He really, really wanted it all to stop. 

Aizawa gave him a few minutes, then said. “Is it okay if I continue?” 

Todoroki was shaking now. His entire body shook from the effort of holding still. Still he let out a few more shaky breaths, then nodded. 

The cool dampness of the cleaning cloth pressed against his face, against his scar. 

He wanted to run, scream, do anything . 

Anything that wasn’t sitting still while the pressure on his face drove his breath away. 

“Breathe. Focus on my words.” 

“When the cat chose us...” The cloth wiped his face. “...we decided it must be fate.” Much of the feeling had never returned to the scarred skin. “We named her Fuku...” The touch still hurt more there than anywhere else. “…because it was lucky that she found us.” Spots danced in Todoroki’s eyes. “When Eri came to stay with us…” He bit his tongue to hold back the scream. “...she cried with happiness when Fuku rubbed against her leg.” 

The pressure had to stop. 

Now.  

Todoroki flinched back. At the same time, Aizawa pulled away. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m done. I’m done.” 

The breath that had been stopped by the pressure on his face burst out of him, and he sucked air back in as fast he could. His head spun as he tried to regain his breath. 

“Hey hey, Todoroki. Look at me. Look at me, Shouto.” 

Todoroki looked at him as best he could. His vision had gone weird, as though hundreds of bubbles had frozen in front of him. 

“Breathe, Shouto.” 

Todoroki tried, but his head just swam more. 

“Do you feel dizzy?” 

He nodded. Blood rushed in his ears as he did so. 

He felt himself being gently guided down until his head was nearly between his legs. 

A hand appeared on his back and Aizawa said, “Just hold your head there. It will help the dizziness go away.” 

The nausea and dizziness swamped him in waves. Though he was determined not to throw up this time. He would not throw up. 

Aizawa’s hand gently stroked his upper back, as his teacher hummed a low tune. Todoroki didn’t know if Aizawa was doing it consciously or not, but nonetheless he appreciated something else to focus on. 

Something appeared in the corner of his murky line of sight. Aizawa had held out his other hand, and after a moment’s hesitation, Todoroki took it in his. 

It surprised him — even through the fog of nausea — to feel how cold his teacher’s hand was, and how comforting. 

Nothing like Endeavor’s. 

Another shockwave spun through his body, forcing his eyes closed.

Chapter Text

After an amount of time — Todoroki had no idea whatsoever — the dizziness and rush of blood in his ears subsided, and he realized his teacher had switched from humming to quietly singing. 

Todoroki didn’t recognize the song, but still he tried to concentrate on the lyrics. Though his brain was still a bit soupy, he managed decently well. 

As the song went on, Todoroki gradually felt better enough to try to sit up. 

Aizawa broke off from his singing at Todoroki’s movement. “Sit up slowly, kid. Stop if you feel dizzy. Okay good.” 

Todoroki’s head only swam a little as he sat upright, but soon even that passed. 

When it finally did, Todoroki’s brain began to function better. He knew he needed to thank his teacher for everything. But before he could even figure out what he wanted to say, he was interrupted by hurried footsteps on the stairs. 

A silver blur zoomed out the hallway and stopped a few feet from the couch. 

Eri stood there, slightly out of breath, eyes rimmed with red. She clearly had been crying. “Is he okay?” She asked, voice thick with sadness. 

From the hallway, Yamada appeared and scooped her up into his arms. “Little listener, you can’t be down here right now.” He told her sternly. “Dad is too busy.” 

Tears started flowing from Eri’s eyes again. “I know.” She wailed, burying her face in Yamada’s shoulder. “But he was hurt and it was my fault. I startled him and then there was blood and I had to make sure he was okay!” 

Yamada looked over at Aizawa. The two seemed to share a silent conversation.  

“It’s okay.” Aizawa gestured for him to bring Eri over. 

Yamada handed Eri off to Aizawa, who caught his hand and said, “Go back to sleep, my love. I can handle it.” 

My love? Todoroki wondered vaguely what Aizawa meant by that.

“You sure?” Yamada asked. 

“Yes.” 

When Yamada looked as though he was going to argue, Aizawa added, “I’ll take a nap tomorrow.” 

Reluctantly, Present Mic agreed to go back to bed. Before leaving though, he nodded a warm smile at Todoroki. 

A pang went through Todoroki at the smile. It felt nice, welcoming, as though his teacher was actually happy he was there. 

After Yamada left, Todoroki looked down at his bandaged hands, lost in thought. 

Soon though, his attention was diverted by the still crying Eri on Aizawa’s lap. 

Aizawa was talking to her, trying to calm her down, but to no avail. She just kept crying and rambling on, “I wanted to come down but Papa wouldn’t let me so I had to sneak past him and now he’s mad and…”

Todoroki thought that maybe he should speak up since she seemed mostly upset over his getting injured.  “It’s okay, Eri.” He started awkwardly. 

She quieted down enough to look at him, red eyes wide and still brimming with tears. 

To illustrate his point, he held out his neatly bandaged hands. “Your dad took care of me. I’m all better now.” 

She sniffled and rubbed her eye. “Are you sure you’re all better? You still look sad.” 

Todoroki didn’t know what to say. Quite honestly, he felt a few of his own tears well up. Eri was so young, and yet she was so perceptive and caring. Todoroki briefly wondered if he had ever been like that. 

Eri tried to say something else but instead broke into a wide yawn. 

Aizawa took this as his time to step in. “It’s time to go back to bed,” he told her gently. 

She clearly wanted to protest, but her eyes were already falling shut with exhaustion. 

“I need to bring her upstairs, will you be okay for a few minutes?” 

Todoroki nodded. 

Carefully, Aizawa maneuvered his daughter into a better carrying position and then stood up and went upstairs. 

After they left, Todoroki thought about the situation. Clearly they weren’t here just to punish Todoroki for not going home for break (although whether or not he would get punished was still unclear). 

But, if not for a punishment, why were they here? 

Aizawa returned quickly with a bottle of pills in hand. “Here, I almost forgot again. For your fever.” 

“My fever?” 

Aizawa was at the sink, filling up a cup of water. “Yeah, it’s mostly gone now, but those will help it disappear completely.” Skirting around the glass, his teacher returned with the glass and handed it to Todoroki. “One will probably be enough.” And with that, he went and started cleaning up the shattered glass. 

After swallowing the pill and taking a few more mouthfuls of water, Todoroki started, unsure of whether or not he should ask. “Umm… what are we doing here?” 

Aizawa looked up in surprise. “Oh? You didn’t know? This is my house.” Todoroki must have looked very confused because Aizawa continued explaining. “Yamada is my husband, and Eri is our daughter. Shinsou is also our child, but they’re most likely asleep right now.” 

Todoroki’s mind went into overdrive, trying to comprehend what he had just heard. He really wasn’t sure what to process first. 

Without thinking, he blurted out. “Is that okay?” 

“Is what okay?” 

“Oh umm,” He already regretted asking. Todoroki looked down at the blankets on his lap, but he figured that since he brought it up, he should at least finish. “You and Yamada-sensei, married. Is that…?”

Aizawa was quiet for a second. “Well, yes, of course it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with loving the person you love.” He met Todoroki’s eyes as he continued. “And if you ever want to talk about anything like that — or even something not like that —, my husband and I are both open and willing to do so.” 

“Oh, uh…” Todoroki was at a loss for words. 

Aizawa finished cleaning up the glass and came to sit on the couch. 

“We don’t need to talk about it more right now. Just know that Yamada, I, and the other teachers at UA are all on your side.” 

Emotions Todoroki didn’t recognize welled up inside him, foreign but not unwelcome. What even were these feelings? Understanding? Acceptance? 

Longing…?  

“Sorry, I know it’s a—” Aizawa stifled a yawn. “— lot to take in.”

“You can go back to bed.” Todoroki said quickly. 

“No, I’m—” Yet again he was interrupted by a yawn. “I guess I should… Are you sure you’ll be okay?” 

With a nod, Todoroki added, “I’m sorry for waking you.”

Aizawa brushed the apology away. “No matter. It happens enough in this house that we’re used to it. Is there anything you need before I leave?” 

Todoroki shook his head. 

“Okay then. Goodnight.” He got up to leave; but before he reached the hallway to the stairs, Todoroki blurted out.

“Actually before you go, Sensei…” Aizawa stopped and looked at him. Suddenly extremely embarrassed, tears yet again springing to his eyes, he continued in a rush, “...could you maybe throwawaymyscarf?” 

A look of surprise and maybe comprehension? flickered across his teacher’s face. “Yes, of course,” he said. 

Todoroki watched as his teacher put the scarf in the trash bin. When it disappeared under the lid, he felt as though he could finally breathe again. As his teacher went upstairs, he settled back down into the blankets. 

Although embarrassment burned his ears, a slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. 

Chapter Text

A large amount of thudding from upstairs awoke Todoroki a few hours later. 

The aroma of freshly cooked food filled the air, causing his stomach to growl. It smelled so good, although it wasn’t something he recognized. 

He sat up with a yawn, catching the attention of the person in the kitchen. 

“Ah, you’re awake.” 

Todoroki turned around on the couch to face Aizawa. 

“Sorry for the noise upstairs,” he continued, correctly surmising what had awoken Todoroki. “Today is—” 

Right then, the familiar streak of silver shot out of the hallway and started parading around the living room. 

“It’s my birthday!!” Eri yelled, dancing back and forth. Her arms were out like wings, and she hopped around like a bunny. 

The comical sight of such extreme happiness made Todoroki smile to himself. The idea of celebrating a birthday was foreign to him. Although he knew it was a common practice for kids’ birthdays, he had never experienced a party of his own, nor attended one for someone else. 

Lost in thought, Todoroki hadn’t heard the other person come down the stairs until they spoke. 

“Sorry, dad, I tried to distract her with a game, but then she slipped past me…” Shinsou turned and pointed at the little girl dancing around the room. “... like a slippery little villain.” 

Eri stopped dancing and ran to tackle her older sibling. “I’m not a villain!” She cried out. 

“Then why are you attacking a hero?” They asked teasingly as she ran into them, tackle completely ineffectual. 

“You’re not a hero yet!” She stuck her tongue out at them. 

“You dare stick your tongue out at a hero!” Shinsou put on an air of great pomp and fake fought back. They put an arm around their little sister and tickled her mercilessly. 

Her laughing cries of “stop” and “you’re not a hero yet” prompted Aizawa to step in. 

“Children, behave yourselves.” Aizawa sounded stern, but Todoroki could see the smile playing at his lips and the bemusement in his eyes. It was clear that his teacher loved his two children very much. 

Immediately, Shinsou and Eri broke apart from where they had been fighting? playing? on the floor. Shinsou jumped to their feet and dusted off their clothes. Eri still sat on the floor, pouting. 

Shinsou reached out their arms in a wide yawn. Midway through the stretch, they froze, having caught sight of Todoroki. They turned away and coughed to clear their throat. “Hi,” they said abruptly and then slunk into the kitchen. 

Todoroki didn’t interact much with the newest member of Class 1A. Shinsou had only joined the class recently. Although there had been only 19 students in 1A for most of the school year (Mineta had been expelled for repeated and unregretted harassment), it wasn’t until the joint training with Class 1B that it was made official. And even though both Todoroki and Shinsou awkwardly tagged along in class hangouts, they normally ended up on opposite sides of the group. 

Shinsou and Aizawa exchanged a few words, which led to Shinsou taking over the cooking as Aizawa came into the living room. Eri tried to stop him by grabbing his leg, but with only a few words from her dad, she was back to dancing happily around the room. 

On his way over, Aizawa grabbed Todoroki’s backpack — which was no longer accompanied by that awfully colored scarf — off the dinner table. 

Aizawa gestured for Todoroki to follow him, and Todoroki did so. 

He was led upstairs to a bathroom. 

First, Aizawa pressed his hand against Todoroki’s forehead to check his temperature. Satisfied that it was gone, he suggested that Todoroki might want to take a shower and change into clean clothes. He pointed out the location of the towels and soap Todoroki could use and told him that breakfast would be in about ten minutes. 

Aizawa handed him his backpack and said, “I thought you might want to use the bathroom furthest away from…” He gestured downstairs where Eri’s shrieks of excitement could be heard. Then he left. 

Todoroki was moved by his teacher’s thoughtfulness, and by everything else he had done for him. 

He quickly got undressed before any tears could fall.

Chapter Text

Todoroki was a little unsure of how to go about showering since there were bandages on both his hands. He briefly searched the bathroom and quickly found a box of disposable gloves. Silently he apologized to Aizawa and Yamada for using a pair without permission and then slipped them on. 

Stepping into the shower, Todoroki turned on the shower, instinctively turning the tap to cold. 

He stood with the spray directly on his face. Although it was difficult to breathe that way, Todoroki enjoyed the feeling of the cool water falling against his face and washing away the dried tears. 

Todoroki disliked hot showers. Warm water always brought back too many memories that were better off forgotten. Lukewarm was the warmest he ever went, although even that was rare. Instead, he would gladly take the numbing effect of cold water. 

A while later, he turned off the tap and got out. 

Looking back, he realized that he had no idea how long he’d been in the shower. Aizawa-sensei had said breakfast was in ten minutes and he had no idea how long ago that might have been. 

Was he holding them up? He doubted they were waiting for him, but he also didn’t want to inconvenience them any further. 

As fast as he could, he toweled off and got dressed. He practically ran down the stairs. Though at the bottom, he slowed down enough to not look as though he was rushing. 

When he got into sight of the dining room table, four heads turned to look at him. 

Todoroki suddenly felt extremely self conscious. In his rush, he had forgotten to dry his hair. Did it look weird? Were they looking at the bandages on his face, or at the blue plastic gloves he had also forgotten to remove? 

Or was it… his scar? 

A chill ran down Todoroki’s spine. 

Did they think he looked hideous too?

All these thoughts ran through Todoroki’s head in a split second, too fast for Aizawa’s almost immediate response to seeing him. 

“Todoroki,” Aizawa said, “Good, you’re here. Breakfast will be ready shortly.” 

Todoroki was dumbstruck. Had he really only taken a few minutes in the shower? It had seemed like he had been in there for hours… 

“Yeah! Yeah!” Eri excitedly ran to his side and pulled him to the table. “You can sit in my spot if you want!” She proudly proclaimed, gesturing to the chair at the head of the table. But before Todoroki could figure out how to politely refuse (there was no way he could sit at the head, in his father’s spot), Aizawa told her gently that Todoroki would probably prefer to sit on the side of the table. 

And so Todoroki ended up on the left side of the table with Shinsou to his right and Eri to his left. He would have preferred to sit where Shinsou currently was, with no one to their right; but Eri was so insistent that he sit next to her, he couldn’t say no. 

Breakfast came in the form of fluffy pancakes with chopped fruit and whipped cream. 

After quietly pulling off the plastic gloves under the table, he tentatively served himself some food, watching the others to see what toppings to put on. 

The meal was foreign to Todoroki, and so he had no idea what to expect when he took his first bite. The natural sweetness of the strawberry combined well with the whipped cream, complimenting the fluffy texture of the pancake. 

Todoroki’s eyes went wide. 

It was so good! 

Maybe even better than cold soba…

No, he immediately amended, nothing was better than soba. 

Eri chattered in the background, but Todoroki’s mind was entirely on the food in front of him. He took another bite, and then another, finishing his plate all too quickly. He looked up at the others, embarrassment warming the tips of his ears. Had he eaten too fast? 

Aizawa, who sat across from Todoroki, looked up. Noticing his student’s empty plate, he asked. “Do you want more?” 

Yet again, Todoroki’s eyes went wide. He stared at his teacher in astonishment. He was allowed more of this heavenly food? 

He nodded in excitement. Of course he wanted more. 

Aizawa’s face morphed into one of slight amusement, although tinged with something else Todoroki couldn’t recognize. 

He quickly served himself seconds and then thirds, which he finished around the same time as everyone else. 

It just tasted so good. 

As he ate, he got the feeling that Aizawa kept glancing at him, but his teacher never said anything. Todoroki decided to believe he wasn’t doing anything wrong. 

After breakfast, they got to the task of cleaning up. 

Clean-up was divided so that each person had one thing to do. Todoroki was tasked with scraping the plates into the garbage. 

Simple, easy, he told himself. But he couldn’t help his heart pounding in trepidation. This didn’t come from the task itself, but from knowing that — by opening the trash can — he would be greeted by the turquoise scarf Aizawa had thrown away last night. 

He took a deep breath, grit his teeth, and opened the lid. 

It was empty. 

Well, technically it wasn’t empty — there were a few egg shells and strawberry cuttings — but the scarf was gone without a trace. Which could really only mean that the trash had been taken out either because it had been full, or because Aizawa-sensei had somehow known the scarf bothered him…

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Obviously the trash had just been full. 

Even as he told himself that was impossible for his teacher to have known, he couldn’t stop the ghost of a smile from flickering across his lips. 

Chapter Text

Halfway through cleaning up the kitchen and dining area, Todoroki realized that Aizawa had disappeared. In fact, he couldn’t recall seeing his homeroom teacher ever since he did his job of moving the dishes from the table to the counter. 

“Where’s Dad?” Eri whined as she towel-dried a plate. 

Yamada placed the plate that he had just finished washing on the counter near the sink. “Dad went back to bed. He was up early.” 

Todoroki bit his lip. It was his fault Aizawa hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. 

“But if he’s sleeping, he’ll miss my birthday!” 

Yamada chuckled, “After this, we’ll watch a movie. Dad will be up by the time it’s done.” 

“Yay!” Eri clapped her hands, dropping the towel in the process. “Movie!” 

“Eri, do your job properly.” Shinsou grumbled, grabbing the towel off the ground. 

Eri stuck her tongue out at them. “Give it back!” 

“Make me.” They grinned, holding it out of her reach. She jumped, trying to grab it. But Shinsou held it just out of her reach. 

“Hey!” She tried jumping to get it, but to no avail. They kept the towel high out of her reach. Frustration seemed to radiate off of Eri as she tried again and again to grab it out of their hand. 

Seeing the two siblings' interaction brought back vague memories of his own family.  Back before Touya died, he and Fuyumi would tease their younger brothers in this very way. At the time, it had frustrated Todoroki to no end. He could understand Eri’s feelings now. 

“Hey, Eri,” he started hesitantly. 

Everyone looked at him in surprise. To be honest, Todoroki was surprised at himself too. 

Feeling extremely self conscious, he crouched down and gestured Eri over to him. He whispered something in her ear and her eyes opened wide. 

Bouncing on her heels, she turned to her older sibling and exclaimed, “If you wanted to dry the dishes so badly, you can just say so!” She then grabbed Todoroki’s arm and pulled him over to the living room. He was so surprised he didn’t even think to protest. 

“Hey! You little—!” Shinsou exclaimed. 

“Now, now, kids. Calm down.” Yamada said. “Shinsou, give Eri back the towel. Eri, come back and do your chores.” 

“It’s fine, Papa. It’s Eri’s birthday. I can do her chores today.” The grumble in their voice undermined Shinsou’s considerate words. 

“Yay!” She yelled again. “Let’s pick out the movie.” And Eri dragged Todoroki over to the TV stand. 

The four of them sat in the living room watching the animated movie that Eri had picked out. Todoroki sat on the left side of the couch, Eri was in the middle, with Yamada on the right. Shinsou had curled up in one of the armchairs. 

Only about five minutes into the movie, Todoroki felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and opened the text he had received. It was from Midoriya. 

[Hi, Todoroki! I just wanted to ask how’s break going?] 

[Fine.] 

Three dots appeared as Midoriya typed.

[That’s a relief something seemed to be going on Saturday but I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or even if you’d want me to text now. But I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Are you?] [Okay that is?]

[Thanks.] Todoroki paused before pressing send, unsure of how he should answer. He wasn’t ready to explain everything that happened in the three days since he had seen his friend. Finally, he came up with a response. [Thanks. I’m feeling better now.] 

[I’m glad I was really worried. What have you been up to? Me and my mom baked a huge batch of cookies but unfortunately we burned most of them.] 

[I’ve mostly been sleeping.] Even though that was true, Todoroki felt like it wasn’t enough of a response. He added, [Sorry about your cookies.] 

[It’s okay about the cookies we would have had too many if we hadn’t :) The best part about —]

“Who are you texting?” Eri asked, peering over at his phone. 

Todoroki was startled. Eri had seemed to be completely engrossed in the movie. “Just M-Midoriya. From my class.” 

“Oh! The green boy? Who helped rescue me? He’s nice. Is he your boyfriend?” 

Todoroki’s face felt hot as he stammered, “N-no, h-he’s just—” 

“Eri, don’t miss your favorite part.” Shinsou called from their armchair. 

She gasped and immediately focused all her attention back on the movie. 

Shinsou met his thankful gaze. They nodded their acknowledgement, then returned to half watching to the screen, half fiddling on their phone. 

He looked at the screen as well, but his mind wouldn’t pay attention to what was happening. Eri’s words still echoed in his head. “Is he your boyfriend?”

Of course not, he didn’t couldn’t have a boyfriend. He wasn’t interested in boys, and even if he was — no, he wouldn’t think about that. It didn’t matter what it would be like if he were interested, since wasn’t interested. 

Of course he didn’t have a boyfriend. 

Of course he wasn’t interested in boys. 

He liked girls, like…

Like… 

…

Thinking about it, he wasn’t really interested in any of the girls in his class. 

But that didn’t mean he was into boys, it just meant that he wasn’t interested in any of his classmates. 

So Todoroki thought of some of the Pro Heroes that many of the boys in his class talked about. He did think that they were pretty, but somehow, he didn’t think it was in the same way they did. When the others talked about the women they like, they would blush and stammer and get all sweaty. 

Todoroki had never felt that way about any girl. 

Whatever, whatever, it’s fine. 

Todoroki tried to force himself to pay attention to the movie, but the pictures on the screen seemed to have lost all meaning. 

It’s fine that he has never had a crush. Just because all his classmates seemed to have them, doesn’t mean he has to. Just because pretty much every movie he’s ever seen has a man and a woman falling in love, doesn’t mean he has to have the same feelings. It didn’t. 

“Eee, here it comes!!!” Eri squeaked. 

Todoroki looked up in time to see two characters — two guys — sitting next to each other on a bench. One of them was crying (Todoroki had no idea why, though, since he hadn’t really been watching.) The crying boy pulled away from the white haired guy he was hugging. There was a shot where you could see his eyes, damp with tears. They were green, like Midoriya’s, and sparkled like a sunlit forest after a rainstorm. 

The other one said something that Todoroki missed since his attention was on those beautiful green eyes. 

With those eyes, he could picture that character as Midoriya. And if the green-eyed one was Midoriya, the white-haired one could be Todoroki. In the few times he had seen Midoriya cry, he had always wanted to go and comfort him. 

Yes, Todoroki thought, these two characters must have a friendship like his and Midoriya’s. 

The two boys leaned towards each other and—

Todoroki jumped to his feet, eyes wide. 

The other three turned to look at him. Someone said something, but Todoroki didn’t hear what it was. 

“Bathroom. Sorry.” He mumbled, nearly tripping in his haste to get away.

Chapter Text

Todoroki gripped the edges of the sink, breathing heavily. Drops of water dripped off his hair and nose. 

What had they just watched? 

And why—

Why was he the only one reacting like this? 

His thoughts strayed to that scene. The one’s beautiful eyes like Midoriya’s. The other one’s white hair. The hug. The kiss.  

He splashed more water on his face. 

Of course those characters weren’t him and Midoriya. Midoriya was just a friend. That was all he could ever be. 

Todoroki choked back a sob and sank to his knees. He pressed the top of his head against the sink cabinet and curled his arms around himself. 

Tears streamed down his face as he silently sobbed on the floor. 

Aizawa had been in the process of changing his shirt when he heard someone dashing up the stairs and into the bathroom. Yamada came up the stairs not long after and explained what happened to his husband. 

Reassuring Yamada that he could handle it, Aizawa convinced his husband to go back downstairs and finish the movie with their other kids. 

He wanted to make sure that Todoroki was all right, but he also didn’t want to overwhelm him any further. He waited until the bathroom had gone silent before quietly knocking on the door. 

“Ye-s?” The choked response was followed by a few sniffles. 

“Do you mind if I come in?” 

After a pause, “No.” 

Aizawa pushed open the door, revealing his student. 

Todoroki was kneeling on the ground. As Aizawa entered, the kid turned to face him. His head was down, revealing his damp fringe. Strands of hair covered his eyes, but Aizawa didn’t need to see them to know that he had been crying. 

“Do you need me to leave?” Todoroki asked in a quiet voice. 

“No. I thought I’d keep you company. Is that okay?” 

Todoroki nodded minutely. 

Aizawa sat down on the floor next to him. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” 

Todoroki shook his head, paused, and then slowly nodded. He still hadn’t looked at Aizawa. 

“Let’s start here: did something happen?” 

Another tiny nod. 

“Can you tell me what it was?” 

Todoroki took a deep breath. “I’ll — try…”

“Take as much time as you need.” 

Saying anything out loud was much harder than Todoroki anticipated. 

He wanted to say that the two boys kissed and that he didn’t know how to deal with that and that his father would be angry and that he didn’t want his father to hurt him and that he just wanted to be normal and that he wanted maybe to kiss Midoriya . 

Nothing would come out. 

He’d take in a breath to say something, but then end up releasing it wordlessly. He needed to settle on the wording first. 

‘Boys can’t kiss.’ No, he couldn’t say that to his teacher who was literally married to another man whom he had presumably kissed. 

‘Boys shouldn’t kiss.’ That’s worse. 

He metally shook himself. What was it he was trying to say? 

‘Dad doesn’t like boys kissing.’ 

No, that sounded weird. 

‘Father doesn’t like boys kissing.’ Still no. 

‘I don’t like boys, but…’ But what? ‘I didn’t think I liked boys and only liked girls but then I realized I didn’t like any of the girls in my class in the way that the other boys seemed to, and then the characters kissed and now I don’t know.’ That was too long, he wouldn’t be able to say that. 

‘The two boys kissed and I thought… I thought…” What did he think? ‘I thought I didn’t want that, but now I’m not so sure…’ Did he want that? He had never wanted to kiss anyone before, but maybe that was because he thought he could only kiss girls. And if he wanted to kiss someone, did that mean he also wanted to — 

NOPE NOPE NOPE! 

Even the thought of that made him feel sick to his stomach. He squeezed his legs together. He didn’t want that for sure. It was like his body was repulsed by even the idea of it. 

But a kiss? Maybe. Maybe after a nice day together. They could go to the beach or see a movie or— 

Suddenly he realized that his thoughts had strayed far from what he was trying to do. 

‘The two boys kissed and I don’t know what to think.’ 

That sounded pretty good. It explained what happened — which was something Aizawa-sensei wanted to know — and it summed up his thoughts on it, which were that he was confused.

With the wording decided, all he had to do was say it. 

Just say it. 

He opened his mouth again but then closed it again. 

Just say it. 

Just say it. 

‘The two boys kissed and I don’t know what to think.’

Just say it. 

Just say it. 

Just say it. 

Why won’t you just say it??

Just say it. 

Just say it. 

When he opened his mouth this time, words actually came out. “They kissed and…” He stopped again, a sinking feeling going through him. He had already messed up the wording. 

Start again then. 

“The boys kissed…” Wrong again, but he had to just go with it and finish before he lost the words again. “... and I… and I… don’tknowwhat to feel.” 

After having said that, he realized that his hands were — no, his entire body was — trembling and that he was very, very sweaty. 

The little voice in the back of his head whispered, ”You messed up again, Shouto…” It was right. At this point, he had lost count how many times that had happened. 

He risked a glance at his teacher’s face. Aizawa didn’t seem upset or angry, but emphasis on the ‘seem.’ This entire thing started when Todoroki freaked out over two people who were like his teacher. 

What was he thinking? Of course, Aizawa would be upset at him. Todoroki messed up again and deserved his teacher’s anger. 

But that was okay, Todoroki told himself. He knew how to deal with anger — his father had taught him well. And since his teacher would be mad at him, all that was left was for Todoroki to make sure his teacher knew he wouldn’t try to stop any punishment or fight back. 

Fighting back was worse.  

“I-I’ll take any punishment.” He said, nearly tripping over the words in his haste to get his teacher to understand. “You have ever r–right to be mad and I’ll take the—” 

“Todoroki, stop.” Even though his teacher’s voice was calm, Todoroki flinched. “You aren’t going to be punished.”

“W-what?” Todoroki was confused. “But… aren't you angry?” 

“Why would I be angry? What have you done that warrants my anger or a punishment?”

“I-I-I…” He was at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to explain just how much he deserved punishment. 

A tear ran down his cheek. He brushed it away in frustration. 

Why didn’t his teacher understand? 

He deserved punishment. 

He deserved anger. 

He didn’t know what to do if there wasn’t any.  

His voice was barely a whisper, “I did so much …”

“I need you to listen to me, Shouto, really listen. You didn’t do anything wrong. I am not angry at you. You are not going to be punished.” 

Todoroki looked up at his teacher, unsure of whether he could believe him. And, more surprisingly, he realized that he wanted to believe what his teacher had said. He wanted to believe that no one was angry at him, that no one was going to punish or hurt him. 

“Is it okay if I hug you?” Aizawa asked gently. Todoroki nodded. 

He closed his eyes as Aizawa’s arms closed around him. 

Maybe, just maybe, it was okay to believe what his teacher said, at least for a little while.

Chapter Text

Eri swung eagerly on Todoroki’s arm. The two of them, along with Shinsou, waited in the frozen food section of the supermarket while their dads picked up Eri’s birthday cake. Yamada had said they wanted the cake to be a surprise, which was why the kids weren’t with them in the bakery section. 

Yamada had been planning on picking up the cake alone, but Eri insisted on making it a ‘family outing.’ And so all five of them crowded into Aizawa’s car, and here they were.

“Eri, Dad told you to behave.” Shinsou told their little sister. 

She glared at them with her fiery red eyes. “I am behaving. I’m not running around or doing anything.” 

A person with a mutant quirk that looked like a robot made of dice asked in a rattly voice, “Can I please get behind you?” 

Todoroki quickly moved out of the way, towing Eri along with him. “Sorry…”

The other customer quickly grabbed the frozen pizza they wanted and left the aisle. 

After they left, Shinsou continued their argument in a low voice. “You’re annoying Todoroki and getting in the way of other people. That’s two somethings.” 

“Am not!” Eri protested. 

“Kids, stop fighting.” Aizawa said as he and his husband joined them in the aisle, cake boxed and in tow. Eri ran over to them, whining that Shinsou started the fight. Shinsou followed to explain how it wasn’t their fault. 

Todoroki noticed the look of fondness in Aizawa and Yamada’s eyes as they looked at their children still squabbling in front of them. And even though Shinsou and Eri were often fighting, they also seemed to care a lot about each other. 

His teacher’s family really was sweet together: man and husband, child and daughter. Family, although not related by blood. 

He thought of his own family. Even though they were blood relatives, they had never been close. He had always assumed all families were like that (well, he knew they weren’t exactly like his family). 

When Fuyumi held onto their being a family so strongly, this must be the kind of family she envisioned them being: eating meals together, laughing, and just enjoying each other’s company. 

…maybe it was possible for the Todoroki family to be like that one day.

But then he remembered those eyes, the terrible hateful burning eyes of his father. 

No. The Todorokis would never be able to be a proper family, not anymore. 

Endeavor had made sure of that. 

But, looking at the little family his teacher had made, for the time Todoroki actually felt longing to be a part of one. 

Did that make him selfish? He wondered. Wanting a family that wasn’t so messed up? 

“Hey, kid!” Aizawa gestured for him to come join them. When he got close, his teacher asked, “We’re deciding on what to make for dinner. Any ideas?” 

Todoroki answered without even thinking, “Cold soba.” He looked at his feet, embarrassed. “It’s, uh, my favorite…” 

The others immediately chorused their agreement. 

“Cold soba it is.” 

Aizawa noticed Todoroki lagging back from the rest of the family at the store and also now at home while they goofed around while putting up birthday decorations for Eri. 

Todoroki sat curled up on the couch, clutching his backpack tightly against his chest. His eyes stared unseeing at the carpet. He looked as though he was trying to take up as little space as possible. 

I guess that’s to be expected, Aizawa thought. Todoroki clearly had not grown up in the most loving household. It was probably quite shocking for him to see a family enjoy spending time together like this. 

Aizawa put down the tape he was using to put up a sign and walked over to the couch. He cleared his throat in case Todoroki hadn’t noticed him come over, which turned out to be a good thing. Even with the forewarning sound, the kid flinched and looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“S-sorry. I should be helping, right?” He jumped to his feet and made for the kitchen, but Aizawa stopped him. 

“It’s okay. You don’t need to help, and I’m not mad. In fact, I came to suggest that you invite Midoriya over to celebrate.” 

“Midoriya?” Todoroki basically squeaked the name, and — if it were possible — his eyes went even wider. His cheeks flushed and he stammered, “Umm I-I—”

“Yes, yes! Invite Midoriya!” Eri bounced over and stared at Todoroki with her big pleading eyes. 

“Eri, calm down a little, okay?” Aizawa turned back to Todoroki. “If you’re not ready for him to come over, that’s okay. Maybe just start with a phone call?” 

Todoroki nodded robotically. The panic on his face subsided, and he nodded again, more naturally this time. 

“You can go upstairs for more privacy, if you’d prefer.” 

Aizawa was relieved to see that Todoroki was actually open to his suggestion. He knew he had taken a risk in suggesting it, and was glad to see that it paid off. 

Aizawa noticed the corner of Todoroki’s mouth briefly twitch up before he ducked his head in a bow. “Thank you. I’ll just umm…” He quickly grabbed his backpack and squeezed past the two of them and up the stairs. 

Eri tugged on her dad’s shirt and asked, “Is he going to invite his boyfriend?” 

Aizawa sighed. “Let’s get back to decorating.” 

Chapter Text

Todoroki held his phone in both hands as he stared at the screen. It was open to the conversation he had been having with Midoriya during the movie. 

He bit his lip as he realized that he hadn’t responded to — or even finished reading — Midoriya’s last text. 

[It’s okay about the cookies we would have had too many if we hadn’t :) The best part about break is being able to sleep in. Don’t you agree?] 

He had absolutely no idea what to say, which was why he now paced the hallway upstairs. 

Was he supposed to answer the question and then ask if he could call? Should he just ask? Would it be better to call without asking first? 

How was he supposed to know the correct texting etiquette? He hadn’t even had a phone that long (since starting at UA, and only because Endeavor wanted to check up on him). He hadn’t really even used it for anything other than contacting his father and reading through the various Class 1A group chats he got added to. 

He pressed the profile picture, bringing him to Midoriya’s contact page and enlarging the photo. 

Midoriya’s grinning face shone up at him. His glittering emerald eyes formed little crescents above his adorable smattering of freckles. His arm was wrapped around Todoroki’s shoulders, pulling him partially into the frame. Todoroki’s silvery eye — the only one visible — looked at Midoriya. A smile lit his face, framed by the pastel-red that colored his normally pale cheek. 

When Midoriya learned that Todoroki had gotten a phone, he had insisted that they take a photo for his contact. At the time, Todoroki had no idea what that meant or how to do it (well, he still didn’t know how, which was why Midoriya’s contact was the only one he had with a picture). 

Todoroki couldn’t help but smile when he looked at the photo. Not only was Midoriya’s smile extremely infectious, but also they looked a bit like the characters from the movie his friend looked genuinely happy in it. 

He still remembered the surprise and thrill of having Midoriya’s arm pull him closer, and could hear his friend’s excitement as he told Todoroki how to take a selfie and do a hundred other things on his phone — the vast majority of which Todoroki promptly forgot (he still felt a bit guilty about that). 

The urge to hear his friend’s voice suddenly overtook him. Without thinking, he pressed the call button, and then promptly regretted it as his thoughts caught up with his action. 

Todoroki sank against the wall. 

What if he was supposed to text first? What if because of that, Midoriya didn’t want to talk to him? What if in general he didn’t want to talk to him? What if he was angry about not getting a response? Todoroki was never the one to end a text conversation, so what if — 

His spiraling thoughts were interrupted by the call connecting. 

The cheerful voice of his friend greeted him. “Hi, Todoroki! What’s going on?” 

A surge of relief went through Todoroki when Midoriya didn’t sound angry. “Oh uh, hi, Midoriya…” He felt his face warm. “Sorry about not responding to the text. I was… busy.”

“No problem. I was a little worried when you didn’t respond, but if you were doing something, that’s fine. I’m just glad you’re okay.” 

Todoroki’s heart seemed to swell at his words. Midoriya had been worried about him and was glad he was okay. 

“So why'd you call? Is something going on?” 

“Oh, umm, right…” He bit his lip. How was he supposed to bring this up? “Sensei… Sensei suggested I invite you over, umm I mean to Eri’s birthday party.” 

“Oh. Are you going too?”

“Well umm, over break, I’ve, uh, been staying with Sensei and his…” Todoroki paused. Aizawa never talked about his marriage at school. Did that mean he wanted to keep it a secret? “... a-and Eri.”  

“Oh,” Midoriya seemed lost in thought for a moment, then snapped back to his usual self. “Let me quick ask my mom!” 

For a minute or so, Midoriya’s voice was too muffled for Todoroki to make out. Then, “Okay. Mom said that she can drive me. Where is it?” 

“Umm… Sensei’s house? I don’t know the address… sorry…” 

“No problem. I’ll just have mom text Sensei directly.” 

“Okay. Bye then, I guess…”

“Oh okay. I was going to stay on during the drive, but if you want to hang up…”

“No no! I thought you’d—” Todoroki stopped himself and took a quick breath. “That sounds nice.” He paused for a second, then added softly. “Thanks.” 

“Okay, I’ll stay on then. So you’re staying at Sensei’s? How’d that happen?”

“Oh, well… it’s umm…”

“A long story?”

“Yeah,” Todoroki agreed, smiling softly at his friend’s words. “Long story.”

Chapter Text

Todoroki skipped over a lot when he told Midoriya the story of how he came to be staying at their teacher’s house. In this version of what happened, Endeavor forgot to pick him up and the snow was too thick for a taxi to get him, so he waited at school until Aizawa was able to pick him up. 

He felt bad only giving his friend this watered down version, but even saying this much left him with occasional trembles from stress. And anytime he even thought about saying something about certain things that happened, the words just wouldn’t come. It was as though a small, wordless voice would whisper no, not that part. And so he skipped over those parts, giving voice to only the simple, speakable parts. 

Simple was easy. 

Simple was safe . 

“Wow, you must have had a long night on Saturday!” 

“Yeah…” He agreed. Midoriya thought that he had been picked up late Saturday night; he didn’t know that Todoroke had spent the weekend burning with fever and alone in the dorms. Todoroki didn’t correct him. Midoriya had already worried about him enough. He didn’t want his friend to have to worry about him any further. 

“Is Sensei’s house as dark, gloomy, and full of sleeping bags as everyone thought?” Midoriya asked suddenly. 

During the first week or so of living in the dorms, the entire Class 1A had gathered in the common room for a hangout night. After the movie, instead of going to bed, they stayed up talking. Somehow they got on the topic of theorizing about what different Pro Hero’s homes were like. All Might’s was guessed to be in bright, primary colors with high ceilings to accommodate his height. Cementoss’ was expected to be self built out of cement. And Aizawa’s basically ended up described as a haunted house plus sleeping bags. 

“Uh, no? It’s pretty normal.” 

“Oh…” Midoriya sounded disappointed. 

Todoroki quickly added, “But I did get to use a sleeping bag.” 

“Really? That’s so cool!”

Todoroki chuckled lightly. “Yeah, I guess it is…” 

“Okay. I’ll let him know.” 

“What?” Todoroki asked, confused. Let who know? 

“Oh, sorry! My mom just said that we’re less than a minute away so I should hang up.”

“Oh, yeah.” They had been having such a nice conversation, he had forgotten that Midoriya was on the way here right now. 

He was—

“Bye then! See you soon!” 

His phone turned to the ‘call ended’ screen. “B-bye.” Todoroki stammered, too late for his friend to hear. 

He stared at the screen, heart giving a lurch. He was a minute away. 

Midoriya was just a minute away. 

Chapter Text

Midoriya’s bright eyes once again shone brightly up at Todoroki. His friend had arrived only about a minute ago, but the minute had been a very long and loud one, filled with shrieks from Eri and many people talking at the same time. Todoroki fought against the urge to press his hands over his ears. 

“Do you mind if I give you a hug, Todoroki?” 

Todoroki stared at him, surprised, eyebrows pressed into an inverted V. “Umm…” Did Midoriya really just say that? Or did he just imagine it? 

“Nevermind, if you don’t want one…” Midoriya’s eyes fell. 

Todoroki’s mind yelled at him. You have to say something, fix it before it was too late. Midoriya looked upset, he had to say something! 

He tried to force himself to speak, but suddenly too much time passed and anything he’d try to say would be awkwardly late. Todoroki messed up again. His words were wrong .

“There are bandages on your hands?!” Midoriya squeaked and reached out to grab Todoroki’s hands. A skipping feeling shot through his arms when Midoriya touched them, not painful though, just… he didn’t even know what. “What happened?! Are you okay???” His friend demanded, meeting Todoroki’s eyes yet again. 

He nodded. His hands were doing better now, as expected from Aizawa’s experienced first aide. The wounds had already closed up and scabbed. They were likely to heal fast as long as they were monitored for signs of infection. All these things his teacher had told him he wanted to tell Midoriya. He wanted Midoriya to know that he was okay so that the little crease between his friend’s eyebrows would disappear, so that he didn’t have to worry about him anymore. 

Todoroki wanted to tell him those things, but he didn’t. He hoped his nod was enough for Midoriya to understand. 

After scrutinizing Todoroki’s bandages, seemingly at least untroubled by what he saw, he turned to address Yamada and Shinsou, who stood near each other. “Were you two invited as well?” He asked, pointing to the two of them. 

Aizawa was the one to answer. "We all live here together. Hizashi is my husband. Shinsou and Eri are our children." 

"Cool!" Midoriya said with a smile. He then turned back toward Todoroki and whispered, "I knew it."

"Mmm?" 

"Aizawa-sensei and Yamada-sensei, married. I knew it." 

He knew it? How could he know that already? Todoroki wanted to ask him how he knew, but before he could find a phrasing that could fit in his mouth, Eri loudly proclaimed: 

“Let’s play games now!” 

Chapter Text

They had finished their first game and were now divided into three teams for charades. One team member would mime the Pro Hero on the card, and the other had to guess it. Each team had one minute (a minute and thirty seconds for Eri’s team) to get through as many cards as they could. Winner gets the best slice of cake. 

The teams were as followed: Eri and Yamada, Aizawa and Shinsou, Midoriya and Todoroki. 

As the birthday girl, Eri insisted on being the first one to mime. 

Todoroki was glad that she wasn’t on his team. Nothing she acted out seemed to make any sense, not to mention she wasn’t great at the whole silence thing. Somehow though Yamada whizzed through the guesses, and by the end of the minute and a half, their team had five points. 

Next up was Aizawa’s miming with Shinsou’s guessing. Todoroki couldn’t help but inwardly smile at the fact that his teacher had to act out other Pro Heroes. Their team was much more methodical — and quieter — than the Eri/Yamada team. Nonetheless, after their minute, they had six points. 

“I’ll guess first, Todoroki, okay?” Midoriya sat forward in his seat, elbows on his knees, waiting expectantly to start. 

Todoroki got to his feet. He didn’t really even realize it had happened; he was just suddenly standing. He walked to the center of the living room. All eyes were on him. He grabbed a card from the stack on the coffee table. 

“And… go!” Yamada called, starting the timer. 

He looked down at his card. A picture of Recovery Girl, UA’s nurse, stared up at him. His cheeks burned with embarrassment as he animatedly mimed blowing a kiss. 

“Midnight!” 

Todoroki shook his head. 

“Umm umm… Recovery Girl!” 

Todoroki nodded and grabbed another card. He mimed a big belly.
“Fat Gum!” Midoriya guessed correctly after a moment. 

As Todoroki reached for another card, the timer beeped, signaling the end of their turn. Half relieved and half guilty that he had been slow, Todoroki took his seat. His face still burned. 

“Great job, Todoroki! We got two points.” 

Todoroki gave his friend a weak smile. 

The others got more points though… 

It was Yamada’s turn to do the acting. Somehow, this turn of theirs was even louder and more chaotic than their last one. Eri hadn’t been great at miming, but at least her partner was good at figuring them out. Now, although Yamada was miming very well, it became clear that Eri wasn’t any better at guessing. 

They were on their second card. Todoroki had figured it out immediately, but it wasn’t his time to speak. Yamada had mimicked wings with feathers shooting out, so it was clearly Hawks. Eri thought — and insisted — that it was “the big dragon lady,” Ryukyu. 

Eventually, their time ran out. They now had seven points. 

Yamada showed Eri the card and she pouted that it wasn’t Ryukyu. “But she’s so pretty and amazing!!” She whined. “He’s just—”

“—the #2 Hero?” Midoriya added. 

“I was going to say he’s not pretty…” 

“Let’s get on with the game.” Shinsou drawled, getting to their feet. They grabbed a card. The timer started, and they dropped to their knees. After a second, they jumped up in a star shape. 

“Mt. Lady.” Aizawa guessed. 

Shinsou nodded and grabbed another card. By the end of their minute, they had five more points for a total of eleven. 

Midoriya shot to his feet and took Shinsou’s place, card in hand. When the timer started, Midoriya put his fists on his hips and puffed up his chest. With a huge grin on his face, he began to silently laugh. 

It was obvious who Midoriya was imitating: All Might. Unsurprisingly, Midoriya nailed the mime of his all-time favorite hero. 

Midoriya looked at Todoroki and pressed his brows low. He then changed his position. This time, his arms were curled upward in the cliched muscle pose. The huge grin was still plastered in place. 

Todoroki wondered why his friend had changed position when he figured it out right away. 

Oh. 

He forgot to say it aloud. 

Todoroki opened his mouth and then closed it again with a silent huff. He willed the others to understand that he knew the answer, that he wasn’t stupid or messing up. The words just got lost between his brain and his tongue. 

The minute ended, and Midoriya showed him the card. “It’s All Might!” 

Todoroki nodded. He knew that already. 

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” 

He shrugged. He didn’t know why his words had locked up. 

Midoriya didn’t look at him as he sat down. 

Todoroki’s heart sank. Was Midoriya mad at him? Did he mess up again? 

Sorry. 

Sorry sorry sorry — the word bounced around in Todoroki’s head. They echoed around, too intangible to grab hold of enough to say aloud but too corporeal to disappear. 

“I think it’s time for cake.” Aizawa said, grabbing the cards to put them away. 

“Of course you’d say that,” Yamada grumbled. “You’re winning.” 

Aizawa shot a look at his husband. Seeming to understand Aizawa’s silent communication, Yamada got to his feet. “Let’s get cake then!” 

Chapter Text

It wasn’t until now that Todorki paid attention to the decorations. On the wall across from the hallway above the table hung a banner that read “Happy Birthday!” Underneath that was a piece of paper with “Eri” handwritten in marker. Variously-colored balloons floated from the back of the chairs, attached with blue ribbon. 

Eri happily took her seat at the head of the table. Her dads were at the counter fiddling with her cake. The three UA students crowded loosely around the table. 

Aizawa flicked off the light, leaving the only light coming from the candles on the cake in Yamada’s hands. He put the cake down in front of his daughter, and Eri squealed when she saw the rainbow flower decorations. 

They started singing, “Happy birthday to you! Happy—” 

Todoroki’s gaze fell on the candles. There were seven in all, arranged in a circle around the words “Happy Birthday, Eri.” 

Candles.

They are birthday candles. 

Only candles. He tells himself. 

But they morphed — somehow — into fingers, the five fingers of Shouto’s left hand, plus two bigger ones that stuck out from Endeavor’s hand cupped under his. 

This happened right after Shouto got the letter of acceptance to UA. His father had dragged him into their training room, not bothering to turn on the lights. Endeavor cupped his large hand under Shouto’s, telling him to ignite his flame. 

“No,” he said. “I don’t want to use my left.” 

Endeavor’s face hardened. 

The hand under Shouto’s grew warm, then hot, then burning. It burst aflame. 

Shocks ran up Shouto’s arm. His body instinctively pulled away; but Endeavor grabbed his wrist with another burned hand, forcing him to stay where he was. 

“Use your fire, Shouto!” Endeavor barked. 

“No…” He whispered, breath hitched from pain. The smell of burning flesh filled the room with its familiar, acrid stench. 

The heat increased; the flame grew bigger. 

Shouto thought he might pass out. His body could no longer tell if he was on fire or being jabbed with needles of ice. 

Funny how those two polar opposites could feel so similar when in enough pain. 

“Use it, Shouto! Use it and become strong.” 

Shouto was now sure he was going to pass out unless — unless he gave in. 

He could give in or he could pass out. 

And he couldn’t pass out. 

And so, he gave in. 

He felt rather than saw the flames burst from each of his fingers, combining with Endeavor’s to form an inferno both connecting and separating father and son. 

“See, Shouto. You need to use your fire to be strong. To not mess up. To succeed.” 

And Shouto had to succeed. 

Endeavor’s flame died away, leaving only Shouto’s. 

“Continue that until I get back. I have an errand to run.” 

Endeavor returned over two hours later. 

“—birthday to you!!” The other four finished the song accompanied by Eri’s clapping. 

Todoroki stumbled back a few steps. 

Eri blew out her candles. 

He needed to leave. 

The others clapped. 

He didn’t want to ruin the party any more than he already did.  

“Let’s turn the lights on and have some cake!” Yamada exclaimed. 

Todoroki rushed to get to the lightswitch first, flicked it on, and dashed up the stairs.

Chapter Text

He could just stay here, Todoroki thought. The rest of them could continue the party without him, and he could just stay here. That would be okay. That way he couldn’t mess up anymore.  

After dashing into the upstairs bathroom, Todoroki had shut the door and fallen against it. His breaths were unsteady, as though each breath had to go over stairs before they were complete. 

He didn’t mean to lose his words. He didn’t mean to be a bad teammate and friend. He didn’t mean to almost ruin the party. 

Pressing the heels of his hand against his eyes, he let out a long breath. Though he quickly removed his left hand. His scar wasn’t a place he liked touching; the faintly puffy feel of the red skin always echoed with painful memories. 

“Mreow.” 

Todoroki jumped. 

Was that a cat? The one Aizawa-sensei had told him about earlier? 

Sure enough, a short-haired, smokey grey cat jumped off the sink onto the floor in front of him, its blue eyes focused on him. 

Endeavor had never let them have any pets. He remembered once when he was very young, Natsuo had come back from school with a toad he had found on the side of the road. The two of them eagerly played with it until Endeavor got back that evening. Even though they tried to hide it, their father found it and burned it to a crisp right in front of them. 

They had never tried to keep or hide a pet again. 

Todoroki held out his hand, and the cat hesitantly sniffed his knuckles. Seemingly satisfied, it pressed its head against his hand. It meowed again. 

Did it want Todoroki to pet it? 

He did, and it immediately melted into his hand. It looked up at him with half-closed eyes. Placing his other hand on it, he realized that it was vibrating. 

That was wrong, right? Cats don’t vibrate?  

Scooped the cat into his arms, he yanked the door open and dashed down the stairs. He arrived in the living room slightly out of breath. The others downstairs all froze when they saw him. 

Heart pounding, he stammered, “Some-something’s wr-wrong with-with your c-cat! It-it’s vi-vibrating!! C-cats aren’t sup-p-pose to do-do-do that-that, right?” 

Aizawa could tell something was going on with Todoroki. The kid had been excited to invite Midoriya over before the call, but something must have happened between then and the actual arrival of the other teen. 

Todoroki hadn’t said a word since he informed them that Midoriya was on the way. 

Aizawa had hoped there’d be a moment where he’d be able to check up on the kid, but between having a guest and Eri roping them into games, there hadn’t been a free moment. He had tried to at least steer their activities to things that wouldn’t overwhelm Todoroki or force him to do anything that might be difficult. Aizawa had fought against charades, but with both Eri and Midoriya practically begging to play, he couldn’t easily say no. Though he regretted not fighting harder for it when he realized that Todoroki disappeared not long after. 

He then had wanted to follow after him, but yet again he was pulled into something by his very vocal daughter (Hizashi was rubbing off on her). Eri insisted that he cut the cake so that he could choose the best slice as the prize for winning charades. 

Consequently, he now leaned against the counter, eating the corner slice of Eri’s birthday cake and tasting nothing. While two of the three kids eagerly chatted as they ate their slices of cake, Aizawa quietly asked his husband if he had noticed anything that might have prompted this reaction from Todoroki. Yamada looked at him confused as though he hadn’t realized anything going on with the kid. 

Typical Hizashi, Aizawa thought with a small sigh. His husband meant well, but he often wasn’t the most observant, especially when it came to people who were quiet on a normal basis. 

Aizawa leaned over towards Yamada again, planning on whispering more, but was stopped by pounding feet upstairs. 

Todoroki ran into the room, the movement and sound catching the attention of the five people already downstairs. He had a look of alarm on his face as he clutched Aizawa’s cat in his arms, stammering about something being wrong with her. 

Eri, Shinsou, and Midoriya all burst out laughing. 

“You should see your face…” 

“She’s just purring…”

“Vibrating? Like purring...” 

Todoroki’s eyes flicked to each person, and his breathing quickened. 

The poor kid was obviously overwhelmed, and this laughter wasn’t helping matters. 

Aizawa quickly put his cake down on the counter and moved towards Todoroki. As he approached, he noticed a hint of tears in the kid’s eyes. Aizawa didn’t know exactly what might have prompted this from Todoroki, but he was sure that moving somewhere private would be better than being here with the other kids laughing. 

“Can we go and sit somewhere so that you can tell me about the cat?” Aizawa asked. 

Todoroki nodded shakily. 

Chapter Text

Aizawa led Todoroki to the terrace. After the fierce snowstorm over the weekend, almost all the snow had melted and the temperature increased considerably. Even this late in the evening, one could sit decently comfortably outside. Nonetheless, he grabbed a blanket for each of them. 

A smile crept to Aizawa’s face as he looked over at the seat where Todoroki sat. A blanket was wrapped cozily around his shoulders and arms, making him look like a marshmallow. Fuku still curled contentedly in his arms. 

“I-is the cat okay? She’s still vibrating…” Todoroki said. 

“Yes, she’s fine. Fuku’s purring because she likes you.” 

“Oh…” Todoroki looked down at the cat in his arms. “Well, I like her too.” 

Todoroki's matter-of-fact tone caught Aizawa off guard, and he barely managed to turn his laughter into a cough. 

“Is it too cold?” Todoroki asked. “Should we go back in?” 

“I’m fine if you are.” 

The two of them lapsed into silence, taking in the cold night air and the quiet block. 

Unexpectedly, Todoroki was the one to break the silence. “Do you have a transportation quirk?” 

Yet again, Aizawa had to resist laughing. What did this kid think about? “Not that I know of.” 

“Mmm.” A moment passed then, “What is it you think is wrong with me?” 

Aizawa was completely thrown off by the question. “What are you talking about? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. Why would you think that?” 

“You said not to add to the list of things wrong with me.” 

This new, talkative Todoroki was a bit unnerving, especially since Aizawa had no idea what might have spurred this sudden bout of conversation. The kid hadn’t said anything most of this evening. 

“Did I?” 

“Last night. In the bathroom.” 

How did the kid remember that? Aizawa himself barely could and he had been fully conscious at the time. 

“I’m pretty sure that I meant you didn’t need a concussion from hitting your head on the toilet seat.” The more he said, the more the memory came back to him “You were already so sick, you didn’t need anything else on top of that.” 

“Oh.” 

The silence was much more uncomfortable this time around. 

Aizawa felt way out of his depth. What was he supposed to say to a kid who could so blatantly ask something like that? 

“Do you think there’s something wrong with you?” 

Todoroki gazed across the street as he responded. “My dad always told me that I had to become the #1 Hero, but I’m always messing up and doing things wrong. I thought I was doing better, but…” He glanced at his feet. “...I guess not.” 

“What do you mean…?” 

“I’m not the top of my class. I’m not making the most progress in training. I failed at getting my provisional license. I’m failing.” Todoroki’s shoulders were shaking now. “I ruined Eri’s party. I made Midoriya angry. I inconvenienced your entire family. I was rude to you and your husband.” 

He barked out a harsh laugh. “I even failed at going home this break. What kind of hero can’t even go home when they’re supposed to?” 

Aizawa found himself torn. On the one hand, Todoroki was finally saying what was on his mind — something that Aizawa had never heard from him before. But on the other hand, the kid’s intense negative talk was certainly doing nothing but hurting himself further. 

“Todoroki, what about these things make you think you’re failing?” 

The kid looked up at him, eyes full of confusion. “Everything?” 

Aizawa’s words echoed in Todoroki’s head, and yet again he wondered why his teacher didn’t understand. 

“Everything?” The confusion was evident in his voice as he asked. Everything he had been doing was wrong, and yet somehow his teacher couldn’t see that. He was even failing at explaining just how much he was failing. 

It was so frustrating . 

He looked back down at the cat and pulled her closer to him. His heart was pounding. Fuku looked up at him, ears up. Her eyes seemed to bore into him, into his soul. Tears pricked Todoroki’s eyes. 

How did things get to this? He asked the cat silently. 

Todoroki stroked the cat’s back. The soft fur on his hand made it easier to fight the wetness in his eyes. 

“I don’t think you’re failing, Shouto.” 

Todoroki bit his lip. His teacher’s words only made it clearer that he didn’t understand. 

“Nothing you just mentioned are failures or mistakes.” 

His teacher was always so observant — annoyingly so sometimes — so how was he off so much this time? 

“How many of these things did your father tell you are failures?”

Chapter Text

Everything. 

Endeavor had told him everything was a failure. 

He had always been the one to tell him what was wrong or how he failed. It was always his father because his father knew what was good and what was bad and how to train and how to become the #1 Hero. His father had given him his whole education. 

And Todoroki had learned well.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again as he thought of something. 

His father had been wrong before. 

Endeavor has told him that UA wasn’t a place to make friends, but now Todoroki had many. And if he was wrong about that…

…what else might he be wrong about? 

He furrowed his brows, thinking hard. 

Images and words flashed through his mind — things his father said and did. 

Wasn’t Todoroki already learning that so much of what his father did was wrong? Why did he forget? H-how did he forget?

Anytime he’d bring up something about his childhood or his father, his classmates would look at him weird, as though he had grown up on a different planet. 

He knew — he knew — that his dad had done things to him that were wrong. So how did he forget? 

Todoroki took a shaky breath, hoping to calm his thoughts. 

It didn’t really help, but then he remembered: “The party! Midoriya, everyone’s still waiting!” 

When the two of them got downstairs, they found the others crowded around the coffee table in a game of monopoly. 

Aizawa and Todoroki appeared in the doorway, and Eri beckoned wildly to them. “Come play with us!!!” 

The two of them made their way over. Midoriya looked up at Todoroki. “Do you want to sit next to me, Todoroki?” 

“Yes, thank you.”

The smile Midoriya gave seemed to light up the room. Todoroki sat next to him, and found that his heart was pounding. 

Yamada started dealing out the fake money. “We’re already on the third turn, but it’s not too far for you two to catch up.” 

Eri held out the silver playing pieces. “These are the ones that are left.” 

In this version of Monopoly, the playing pieces were the top ten heroes in Japan. The game was slightly outdated as shown by All Might being labeled as being the #1 Hero. 

“Midoriya is All Might, Papa is Best Jeanist, Shinsou is Edgeshot. I’m playing as Ryukyu. She’s the prettiest!! ” Eri proudly pointed out the tiny figure of the Dragoon hero. “Ooo, I know! You can be Endeavor!” She eagerly handed the piece to Todoroki. “It’s so perfect because he’s your dad! I wish my dad or papa were in the top ten…” 

Eri’s chattering seemed to fade to the far end of a tunnel as Todoroki stared at the metal figure in his hand. 

The tiny Endeavor’s arms were crossed. Flames burst around his eyes, facial hair, and shoulders — a miniature of his hero costume in every way. Despite the cold of the metal, his hand seemed to burn everywhere it touched his skin. 

He cleared his throat and put it down on the starting corner. 

Aizawa — who had sat in between his husband and child — glanced at Todoroki and asked, “Would you like a different—?”

“Roll the dice!” Eri pleaded. “We need to play.”

As the game went on, Todoroki remembered what he had wanted to say to Midoriya. After Midoriya handed the dice to Eri at the end of his turn, Todoroki took it as his time to say, “Sorry we didn’t do well at charades. I don’t know what happened. I just, I don’t know…” He trailed off, realizing that, even though his words were no longer locked up, they were still a bit twisted. 

Why did something like that always happen around Midoriya?

“It’s okay, Todoroki. The cake was still good. And I’m just glad—” 

“That’s my favorite property! Little listener, you know not to take it!” Yamada’s good-natured accusation interrupted Midoriya. 

Eri laughed, a tad bit evilly if Todoroki were asked to describe it. “Haha, I got it first!” 

A few more turns passed when Aizawa got to his feet. “Todoroki, do you want a slice of cake? I’m getting one.” 

“Umm, yeah. Thank you.” 

It was Todoroki’s turn again by the time Aizawa got back with the cake. He was handing in cake in one hand and the dice in the other. 

“Thank you, thank you.” He quickly addressed Midoriya and Aizawa. Then, he rolled the dice and moved his piece — which still seemed to burn every time he touched it. 

 Todoroki had never played the game before and, consequently, had no idea what to do. Luckily, Midoriya noticed and would give him hints and tricks. Even so, Todoroki was sure he was losing by a lot. 

“Haha, yes! I finally got all three!” Shinsou exclaimed. They waved the cards at their dad. “Look! I got all of the ones you normally get.” 

Todoroki had never heard Shinsou sound so energetic. The kid always sounded either bored or tired or both. It surprised him that they could get so competitive in a game like this. 

The excitement surrounding the game was infectious, and Todorki found himself laughing along with the rest of the group. 

It felt so good. 

The last time he had laughed like this, he was in the dorm kitchen right before — no. He pushed the thought aside. 

The scarf was gone. Aizawa-sensei brought him to his house. He was surrounded by friends. They were playing a game. 

Everything was fine.

For once , it was fine. 

As though his thoughts had spawned it, his phone buzzed. Without thinking, he pulled it out and viewed the message. 

It was from Fuyumi. 

[Where are you, Shouto? I’m so worried. It’s been three days.] 

Guilt flooded him as he realized that he had forgotten to let Fuyumi know that he had found a place to stay for the week. She must have been worried sick. Todoroki immediately started writing a response. 

His heart pounded as he typed. [I’m okay. Sorry I didn’t let you know sooner. I—]

“Hey, Todoroki! It’s your turn.” 

Todoroki looked to see Shinsou holding out the dice to him. He set his phone down and grabbed the dice. 

“Sorry…” 

He didn’t notice Fuyumi’s second text.

Chapter Text

It was late by the time the game was over. Aizawa won, followed by Shinsou, Yamada, Midoriya, and Eri. Todoroki lost, as he expected. 

After cleaning up, Aizawa turned to their guest. “Midoriya, you said that your mother is on her way, right?” 

“Yes!” 

“Sounds good.” Aizawa then turned to his daughter. “It’s time to go to bed, Eri. It’s already past your bedtime.” 

“But I’m not…” She yawned. “... tired.”

Aizawa smiled at her. “You need to go to bed, whether or not you’re tired.” 

“But I don’t want to…” Eri whined, tiredness evident in her much quieter than normal voice. 

Yamada picked up Eri and told her, “I’ll read you a bedtime story after you brush your teeth.” 

“Yay…” She said sleepily. “Papa’s stories are the best.” She sounded so tired, Todoroki wasn’t even sure she’d make it through the story. 

Her dads brought her up the stairs to put her to bed. Shinsou followed not long after, saying that they needed to catch up on their show. 

Todoroki and Midoriya were left alone. 

Now that the game was over and everyone else was gone, Todoroki found himself much more self conscious about how close he was sitting to Midoriya, their shoulders nearly brushing. 

Todoroki’s heart was pounding. 

Should he move away? Would that be weird? What was he supposed to do?!

“Hey, Todoroki,” Midoriya shifted so that he was facing Todoroki, who let out his breath now that they weren’t so close. “I wanted to ask: was everything okay earlier? You were really quiet during charades and seemed really upset that we didn’t win. I don’t mind that we didn’t win, I was just worried that you were upset by it. And then you disappeared before we got cake and…”

“Thank you.” 

“What?” Midoriya broke off from his rant. He looked up at Todoroki, green eyes wide. 

“Umm…” His cheeks suddenly felt very warm. “Th-thank you for-for caring about me… umm…” He looked down at his hands clasped tightly in his lap. “I appreciate your asking if — if I was okay…” 

“Were you okay? Are you okay?” 

Todoroki’s eyes briefly flicked to his face, before returning to looking at his hands. How could Midoriya look so beautiful but also so concerned and caring? And why was he concerned about Todoroki? 

How could Midoriya be so perfect? 

“I’m… okay. Now. I’m okay now.” Todoroki inwardly groaned at how choppy his answers were. 

“I’m glad but…” Midoriya bit his lip in the most adorable way . “...if you don’t mind me asking, what happened? Did something happen?” 

“Umm I don’t… know? Maybe something happened? My words just… left.” 

“Your words left?” 

“Yeah, they… do that sometimes.” 

“If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen. I’m here.” 

Todoroki nodded. “Thanks. I, uh, I don’t know when it started. Maybe when I was young? Just sometimes I can’t say certain things, because they’re not…” He took a breath. “...they’re not safe? A-and sometimes, if I say too many wrong things, all words aren’t safe, at least for a little while. It–it’s like they get locked up, so that I can’t say anything wrong.” Locked up by my father. “I–I don’t know if that makes any sense, it probably doesn’t actually…” 

“No, no, Todoroki. It does. Look at me.” Midoriya sounded very serious. 

Todoroki looked up. There were tears in Midoriya’s eyes. 

“It makes sense. And it’s okay that it happens…” 

Was Midoriya crying for him?

“Sometimes our brains do stuff like that to try to protect us…” 

His eyes looked like the largest, most beautiful emeralds in the world. 

“And it’s okay that it happens…” 

Out of nowhere, Todoroki said, “You’re pretty.”

Chapter Text

They were both frozen. 

Each set of wide eyes stared at the other, one set green, the other mismatched. 

They looked away, then at the same time said.

“I meant your eyes, they’re pretty.” 

“I think you’re pretty too…” 

Their eyes met again at the words. As the other’s words sunk in, they both went bright red. 

“Umm—umm…” Midoriya stammered. “I mean umm… you think I’m pretty?”

“Yeah — yeah, you are.” Todoroki looked down at the floor. “You’re perfect…”

“What?! No, I'm not! I have too many freckles, my hair is so messy all the time, and my face is too round. And there’s all these scars on my hands. Plus there’s the big one on my arm…” 

Todoroki had no idea Midoriya thought this way. How could he not see how amazing he was? 

He looked him in the eye. “You are pretty, Midoriya. I don’t know what you see in the mirror, but what I see when I look at you is just you, plain and simple, scars and all. Just you. And you’re beautiful. You don’t need to get hung up on your scars. They prove that you fought and survived. That you didn’t give in at your lowest moments. So you don’t have to be ashamed of them or find them ugly. They’re just you.” 

Todoroki’s eyes pricked a little as he heaved in a breath. 

“Wow, Todoroki, I didn’t know you felt so strongly about…” Midoriya trailed off, covering his mouth with his hand. His whisper was muffled. “Oh… that’s why…” 

Midoriya threw his arms around Todoroki. “I’m so sorry I didn’t think! Of course you’d know about having scars! I’m so sorry…” 

Todoroki was too stunned to respond right away. Midoriya’s arms were around him, pulling him forward towards the other. Heat crept up his face as he realized that Midoriya’s face was so close to his. 

He forced himself to blink a few times, until his mind unfrozen enough to actually do something other than stare forward. 

Hesitantly, he lifted one bandaged hand and put it on Midoriya’s shoulder blade. When Midoriya didn’t pull away, he slowly began to stroke his back. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to—” 

A streak of water trailed down his cheek. He dashed it away furiously. 

Why was this happening now ? 

“Are you okay? You’re tremble…” Midoriya pulled away. “…ing… OH! I’m so sorry!!”

“No, it’s not you!” Todoroki said fighting the tears despite the fact that they were already falling. He had to make sure Midoriya knew that it definitely wasn’t his fault that this happened. He grabbed his pants in his fists. “This isn’t your fault! Please don’t think that.” 

“Okay, okay!” Midoriya grabbed his hands. “It’s not my fault. I believe you.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, of course. I won’t blame myself, okay?”

Todoroki’s shoulders relaxed at Midoriya’s words. “Okay.”

As long as Midoriya didn’t blame himself, Todoroki was okay.

“You know, Todoroki. What you said about scars? The same goes for you.”

“What?” He said, thoroughly confused. What he said about Midoriya’s scars could not possibly apply to his because his were just ugly and were marks of both his father’s and mother’s displeasure with him.

“I know I don't know how you got your scars, but I know they’re from things you had to fight to get through. And when I look at you, I see just you. You’re just Todoroki. Just you. And you’re pretty too!” 

 Todoroki wiped at his tears. “You think I’m… pretty?” 

“Yes, of course! Did you think I was lying? I wouldn’t lie to you.” 

“Oh.” Todoroki looked down again. “I, uh… didn’t know you thought that…” 

“Todoroki, half our class refers to you as ‘pretty boy.’ What did you think they meant?”

“I don’t know. I just…” …thought it was a joke or something. Because who could see past his scar? Surely that was all people saw when they looked at him? 

Either that or they see his father. 

“Of course you’re pretty! In fact—”

“A PHONE CALL IS HERE! A PHONE CALL IS HERE!” 

Midoriya’s ringtone blared, covering up whatever he had been saying. 

“Sorry, I have to take this…”

“A PHONE CALL IS HERE!” 

“...it’s my mom.”

“A PHONE CALL IS HERE!”

“Yes, please do.” Todoroki had to fight back the urge to cover his ears. 

Midoriya — thankfully — picked up the phone. “Hi!” 

A few twitches went through Todoroki’s body, an after-effect of the loud noise. 

“You’re outside? Okay, I’ll be out in a few. Bye!” Midoriya hung up, and turned back to Todoroki. “Sorry, I have to head out. But umm, what was I saying? Oh, right! You really are beautiful, Todoroki!” 

Midoriya’s face suddenly turned bright red. “Umm so…” Midoriya leaned over and planned a kiss on Todoroki’s cheek. 

He then dashed to the front door, calling behind him, “Bye, Todoroki!”

Chapter Text

Was this what Kaminari felt like whenever he used his powers too much? As though his brain had just exploded? 

How long had he been there? A minute or an hour? 

Todoroki’s face burned, equally on both sides. And his head ached ever so slightly. It felt weird. 

What was he supposed to think? What was he supposed to feel? 

Midoriya had kissed him. 

Midoriya kissed him. 

Modoriya kissed him. 

The scene replayed in his head over and over. Why had that happened? How had that happened? Could it be that — that Midoriya… liked him? 

No. 

No. 

Of course that wasn’t the case. 

But then again… 

No. 

That couldn’t be it. 

But still the scene replayed in his head. What could it mean, if not Midoriya liking him? 

The sound of footsteps on the stairs startled Todoroki out of his daze. His heartbeat quickened and he jumped to his feet just as Aizawa walked into the living room. 

“Yes?” He asked, quickly wiping at his eyes. 

A look of surprise flashed across his teacher’s face, coupled with a softer emotion Todoroki didn’t understand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I wasn’t startled.” 

Aizawa took a deep breath. “Okay, if you say so.” He walked towards the sink as he said, “Midoriya got picked up, I see.” 

“Yeah.” Todoroki said. His shoulders relaxed as his initial shock wore off. “He left… umm…” He had no idea how long ago Midoriya had rushed out the door after… “H-he left.” 

“O-kay~? I got that he left.” Aizawa poured a glass of water. “Do you want a glass? I don’t think you drank much today.”

“Oh yeah. Thanks.” 

His teacher filled two more cups and then brought one over to Todoroki. Handing it to him, Aizawa asked, “Do you need anything else?” 

“N-no.” Todoroki shook his head and took a sip of water. He did not want to inconvenience his teacher anymore than he already did and was. 

“Are you sure? You seem like you might want to talk about something.” 

Did he seem like that? 

Todoroki didn’t think he was ready to talk about what had happened. Presumably his teacher would have no problem with it — Aizawa was always understanding, always — but he still didn’t want to talk about it. 

Not yet. 

Not to mention, the dull ache in his head hadn’t yet gone away, and he just wanted to sleep it away.

“Nope, I'm fine.” 

“Okay. Hizashi and I will be up for a couple hours yet, doing some grading and other work. If you change your mind or anything, our door is the first on the landing. You can knock at any time.” 

Todoroki nodded his understanding. He wouldn’t disturb them though — he refused to. 

Aizawa grabbed the two glasses from the counter and went up the stairs. 

As his teacher’s footsteps retreated, Todoroki sat back down. He took a few sips from the glass, feeling the waves of tiredness washing over him. It fought with the part of him that still played Midoriya’s goodbye on repeat. 

Eventually though, the tiredness won. 

Todoroki unfolded a blanket over himself and laid down. 

As always, he used the sleep technique his father had taught him. Relax each muscle, one at a time, working from head to toe, thinking of nothing. 

He was asleep within minutes.

Chapter Text

Vague images swam through Todoroki’s mind, of his father, and mother, and siblings. These melded into flashes of memories that seemed to be played at x2 speed, then x4. 

His eyes flew open, which did nothing to stop the swirling in his head. 

It was like a tornado had formed in his brain while he slept, pushing his thoughts every which way. His stomach seemed to be caught up by the storm too. Nausea flipped through him as the world spinned around him. 

He forced himself to his feet, one cold hand pressed against his head. 

The world twisted around him, and he had to hold onto the couch to keep upright. His legs shook, but he would not vomit in his teachers’ living room. 

He stumbled into the bathroom — not bothering to turn on the lights — and fell against the toilet, scrambling to open the lid before anything could come out. Eyes closed, he leaned over the bowl and heaved. 

Nothing came out. 

Frustrated, he heaved again, trying to force out something. He knew he’d feel better after doing so — he always did — so why did his body deny him that relief? 

He tried a few more times, until bits of pain stabbed through his abdomen. 

He fell back from the toilet, frustration doing nothing to quell his spinning mind. 

Head in hands, he forced his eyes to shut even tighter — anything to stop the world from spinning out of his control (that seemed to be happening a lot recently). But it did nothing to help. 

The darkness behind his eyes was just as unstable and dizzying as the world beyond it. 

Maybe he should just go back to bed and try to sleep it off. 

Eyes still pressed shut, he slowly felt his way back to the couch. Once there, he sank into it, grateful to not be moving anymore. 

Todoroki rushed into the bathroom as fast as he could, only seconds away from throwing up. One hand pressed over firmly his mouth in case he wasn’t fast enough. 

The rapid movement had brought the dizziness back in full force. Fortunately he had left the toilet seat up anticipating that something like this would happen (he had gone back and forth between whether or not he should, but ultimately was glad that he had left it open).

Having had barely enough time to lean over the toilet, he uncovered his mouth. Vomit raced up his throat, burning the whole way. The stream of sick forced its way past his teeth into the bowl. 

The smell hit him and he tried to ignore how disgusting the whole thing was. 

He ran his hand through his hair and spat out the saliva in his mouth, which prompted another round of vomit splashing into the toilet

His chest burned, and his eyes prickled. 

He thought he was passed the throwing up. Yesterday, Aizawa had informed him that his fever was gone. So where was this nausea from? 

His stomach turned once again, but this time it remained dry. He coughed a few times, in case there was going to be another round of vomiting; but nothing came up. A shiver ran through his spine. 

With the nausea quelled, he felt exhausted, drained. He knew he should go to the couch to sleep, but at the moment he didn’t care much. His abdomen hurt from the heaving, and tiredness weighted down his eyelids. 

He laid down where he was, with his arm curled to support his head. His left pressed against the cold tile, cooling the ache that had formed in his head. 

His eyelids slid shut and not long after, he drifted off. 

Todoroki awoke some time later, blinking a few times to clear his vision. Surprised to find that he had been asleep on the floor, he pushed himself into a sitting position. Spots briefly danced in his eyes, but quickly cleared. 

A gritty, gross feeling had filled in his mouth, and his jaw and stomach both ached. 

He rose shakily to his feet. Leaning over the sink, he cupped water in his hands and used it to wash out as much of the taste as he could. The cool water swirling around his mouth prompted an odd sense of calm before he spit it out. 

With the taste in his mouth gone, he shakily made his way back to the couch. Once there, he collapsed, not even bothering to pull a blanket over himself. His fire quirk would keep him warm, that was no problem. 

Out of the corner of his eye, right before he closed them, he noticed the screen of his phone light up the wall near the TV, signaling that he had received a message. 

Immediately, he remembered Fuyumi’s message from earlier, the one which he now realized had failed to answer. 

Dragging himself to his feet once again, he half walked, half crawled across the room to where his phone was plugged in. He clicked the screen on, and the light temporarily blinded him. 

He unlocked his phone from memory and by the time his vision cleared, he was staring at the conversation with Fuyumi. 

Guilt prickled through him as he noticed that his half typed [I’m okay. Sorry I didn’t let you know sooner. I—] had been left unsent. Fuyumi had gone out of her way to check on him, and he had probably just made her worry even more. 

You failed again, Shouto. 

He looked up at the previous message — [Where are you, Shouto? I’m so worried. It’s been three days.] — and felt another stab of guilt. 

But then he noticed another message that he hadn’t read earlier. 

[Dad is really mad. He wants to know where you are.] 

Todoroki’s heart started pounding. 

Dad is mad. 

Reeaaalllly mad. 

He wants to know…

…where I am. 

Just then another text came in. 

{Old man} [Nevermind. I’ll find you myself.]

Chapter Text

Todoroki’s heart slammed into his chest. 

No no no no….

He— he can find me? 

Flashes of everything he had done over the last few days crashed through his thoughts. 

How could he find me?

Getting sick, having a teacher take care of him, freaking out over nothing…

There was no way he could figure out where he was, right? He hadn’t even told Fuyumi. 

…the cuts on his hands, the fever…

Unless the school said something.

…the movie, the kiss, Midoriya…

Or Aizawa-sensei.

Midoriya…

Could there be—

Would Midoriya be safe??

—be a—

Would anyone be safe?!

—a tracker? 

Todoroki’s hands were tingling now. His vision greyed around the edges. He thought he might have stopped breathing. 

Shaky hands held down the power button until the shut down appeared, then pressed it. The screen flashed goodbye, then went dark. The phone fell out of his shaking hand. 

Where was— where was safe?

Not… not the living room. Light from the streetlamp shone in through large, lightly curtained windows. Too easy to look in through. 

Todoroki hadn’t been told he could go into the laundry room, so that was out too. 

That left: bathroom. 

He stumbled to his feet and dashed yet again to the bathroom. His legs barely took his weight, and he fell against the door. It bounced against the wall with a loud crash. 

The noise caused his heart to skip a beat. Logically he knew that there was no way Endeavor would be just outside already, there was no way that sound would draw him here to him. 

Todoroki stared at himself in the mirror. Even though the light was dim in the room — he hadn’t dared turn on the light — still he could make out the dark shape of his scar, a cutting contrast with the pale glow of his light skin. 

Tears pooled in his eyes, blurring the faint image. The grip he had on the sides of the sink intensified as a high pitched ring started in his ears, drowning out his panting breaths. 

An odd pressure had formed in his brain, it was as though a needle was skewered inside the right part of his brain. He blinked a few times, finding that new pressure and imbalance odd. 

He took a step back from the sink, and suddenly found himself catching his fall on the toilet. His legs had given out, which only sent another wave of terror through him. 

What if his father showed up right now? 

He wouldn’t even be able to run away. 

He sank against the wall across from the toilet. His chest heaved and tears streaked down his cheeks uncontrollably. He pressed his palms against his eyes, trying desperately to stopper the tears. 

If his father found him here, and in this condition, what would he say? What would he do?

A few different things immediately jumped to his mind, and each sent a shiver down his back. 

“Hey, are you okay? Shit, no you're not.” 

Todoroki moved his hands and saw the blurry outline of someone standing in the doorway of the bathroom. The hallway light had been turned on, and the light that streamed in hurt his eyes. 

He covered his eyes again. 

Seeing his movement, the figure said, “Oh, the light.” 

The light promptly switched off. 

“Can you look at me now?” 

Todoroki uncovered his eyes again, and this time could make out the gravity defying hair and monotone voice of Shinsou. 

His classmate had sat down. Their mouth moved, and Todoroki wondered why they weren’t saying anything. Then he realized that it was drowned by the buzz in his ears. 

Suddenly, everything crashed over him again. 

Midoriya, his father, the text, his father, the panic, his father …

Heart slammed against his chest, and the screech reached a much louder pitch. 

Shinsou leaned forward. They reached out and tapped the floor a couple inches from Todoroki with their finger. 

The complete oddness of their action interrupted Todoroki’s whirling thoughts. He stared at them blankly. 

With their other hand, they mimed breathing deeply while they continued to tap the floor. 

After a few seconds of shock and confusion, Todoroki did his best to follow Shinsou’s guide. They raised their hand for five seconds, then kept it raised for five, and then let fall for five. Each set of five seconds was tapped on the floor. 

After a few shaky breaths, the buzzing subsided and Todoroki could hear the taps. A few more after that, his heart and lungs had slowed down considerably, and Shinsou withdrew their hand. 

“Better?” Shinsou asked. 

“Yeah,” Todoroki looked down at his lap. “Thanks.” He didn’t know what else to say. He had never really interacted with his new classmate. They hadn’t been in Class 1A for long, and quite frankly, Todoroki wasn’t one to start up a conversation with someone he didn’t already know. 

“I heard the door slam on the way from the bathroom and a thump after it, so I came down to see what’s wrong.” They said simply. 

“Oh umm… thank you.” 

“Yeah, no problem.” A moment passed, then they said, “Also, I wanted to say I’m sorry. For earlier.”

Todoroki looked at them, confused, and saw that they were fidgeting with the hem of their pants. 

They continued, “When we laughed at you, for not understanding the cat’s purring… That was… really rude of us. I know how it feels to have that happen to you, and it doesn’t feel good. So I’m sorry.”

Todoroki thought back to that moment. The panic, the fear, the worry that somehow something was wrong with Aizawa’s cat. Now that it had been explained to him, it seemed obvious that there was nothing wrong. But at the moment, he really thought that there was something wrong with the cat. 

More like there’s something wrong with you.  

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, took a deep breath, then opened them and said, “Oh yeah, umm… thanks.”

“Yeah. So…”

The two of them lapsed into silence, until Todoroki realized that Shinsou was looking at him expectantly. 

Oh, he suddenly realized, were they waiting for me to tell them what had happened? 

“Oh, umm, you can go back to—” Wait, hadn’t they said they were in the bathroom? Had they not slept yet? “—g-go to bed.” 

“I don’t think I should leave. You’re clearly still shaken. Why?” 

“Nothing, j-just a text.” 

“A text caused this?” They raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, no, it’s just…” 

“Just what?” 

“It’s really nothing. I just overreacted. We should go to bed.” He moved to stand up, but before he could, Shinsou asked. 

“Who was the text from?” 

“Just my dad, that’s all.” Todoroki turned his head so that the kid couldn’t see it. 

“If it’s nothing, why is your voice trembling?”

Chapter Text

How on earth was he supposed to explain? It seemed so, so stupid that this was all caused by a simple text. 

But also, what if his father was coming here to set fire to the house and hurt Shinsou and Aizawa and Eri and—

“Hey hey hey,” Shinsou tapped on the floor again. “Breathe; it’s okay. Listen to me. I can help if you tell me what’s going on. And if I can’t help, my dads can.” 

Todoroki slowly nodded, forcing out the words, “So umm… my dad, he… he…” He’s going to burn down the house and he’s going to hurt you and your family and he’s not going to stop until he hurts everyone I know. 

He raked his hands through his hair, fear coursing through him. He needed to tell Shinsou. They were in danger and—

“So your dad texted you,” Shinsou prompted. “What did he say? Was he checking up on you?” 

“No, he… I mean, I guess he was…” He had no idea what to say. Yes, his father was asking about him, but didn’t ‘checking up’ imply that he cares? 

“Would it help if I were to get Dad? I know we don’t really talk so… so I get why you might be more comfortable telling someone else.” Shinsou stood up. 

“Wait, n-no!” Todoroki put out a hand to stop them. “Please don’t…” 

Shinsou looked back at him. “Are you saying ‘no’ because you don’t want to talk to him, or because you feel bad disturbing him?” 

“I don’t want to bother him.” 

“Didn’t Dad tell you you can knock whenever?” 

“Yeah, but…” Todoroki shifted uncomfortably. “...not when I’ve already disturbed him for the last two nights… and that’s on top of generally bothering him…” 

“That’s what support people are for.” 

“Huh?” Todoroki shook his head, confused. 

“Support people are there for you, even if it’s in the middle of night, even if it’s multiple nights in a row.” 

Tears suddenly sprung to Todoroki’s eyes. “Well, I still don’t want to bother him.”

“Okay,” Shinsou sat back down, “Then tell me.” 

“Umm it's my-y dad, he–he’s—” Todoroki shut his eyes and took a quick breath. He felt his tongue glue to the top of his mouth and his words shut behind closed gates as his father’s words came back to him: “Our training, Shouto, no one else needs to know. No one else will know. Understand?”  

Todoroki needed to say something. Shinsou told him he needed to say something. But everytime he reached for words to say, they escaped him. Running away from his tongue before he could even hope to explain. 

Eventually, after a painful time of yelling at himself for not saying anything, he finally choked out in a breath, “Phone.”

“Phone? Oh… should I get your phone?” Shinsou inquired, making the connection. 

Todoroki nodded. Even with the possibility of a tracker, he knew he’d need to risk it just in order to show them since there was no way he could explain. 

Shinsou got up and came back with Todoroki’s phone. He grabbed it and with shaky hands, held down the power button to turn it on. 

Shinsou quirked an eyebrow at him as though confused as to why it was off but didn’t say anything. 

The harsh, bright light of his phone turning on lit the small room. Todoroki had to look away and close his eyes to shield from the brightness. He rarely had the brightness above half, so full brightness, especially in the relative darkness of the windowless bathroom, was nearly blinding on his tired eyes.

He looked away until the brightness dimmed. His phone was never locked, so he just had to swipe it open and wait for the apps to load. 

After what felt like an eternity, his phone loaded enough to open his texts. A void opened in his stomach as he opened the app. He was immediately greeted by two bolded messages, one from Fuyumi and the other, more recent one, from Endeavor. 

Nausea coiled around his throat as he clicked on the message. 

{Old Man} [Where are you, Shouto? Tell me, so I can bring you home.] 

[Nevermind. I’ll find you myself.] 

Todoroki's breath hitched as he saw the whole message, the first of which came in hours before the second. 

He held out his phone, trying desperately to keep his heart in his chest. 

He couldn't deal with this. It was too much. Everything was too much. He needed—

“We should tell dads.” They jumped to their feet. “They’ll know what to—”

“No.” 

Shinsou looked down at him. They looked a bit shocked, but Todoroki ignored that. 

“I-it’s fine. I’ll just go back with him.” Like I should have in the first place. 

Shinsou sharpened their glare on him. “Oh, you’ll just ‘Go back with him’? Sure, good plan.” Sarcasm dripped from their voice, though it quickly turned to outrage. “Do you even hear yourself? You can’t even talk without your voice shaking. Just a text from  him caused a full blown panic attack.” 

Danger flashed in their eyes. “I’m telling dads what’s going on, and you're coming with me.” 

Panic flashed through Todoroki. Was Shinsou going to make him come using their quirk? Through the clouds of his brain, he tried to recall how to prevent Shinsou’s quirk from taking effect. All he had to do was not—

“Crap, that came out wrong.” Shinsou whacked their forehead with a closed palm a few times. “I'm not going to use my quirk on you. I promise. I just— urgh.”

They took a deep breath. “Look, we need to tell them. In case Endeavor comes here, they can help.” Todoroki must have still looked unconvinced, because they added, “They'd be disturbed anyway. Either it can be by us or by the #1 Hero pounding on their front door at 2am.”

Chapter Text

Right before Shinsou’s knuckles could hit the door to Aizawa and Yamada’s bedroom, Todoroki stopped them with a question. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” 

Shinsou let out an exasperated huff and gestured at the phone clasped in both of Todoroki’s hands, still open to Endeavor’s message. “We read the same texts, right? Endeavor is after you, and—” They bit their lip as though there was something that they didn’t want to or couldn’t say. “Nevermind.” 

They glanced away for a second. 

“But yes, this is okay.” 

They turned back to the door and knocked. Each one, though not very loud, pounded open a void in his stomach. 

It only took a short while for Aizawa to open the door. He looked tired, but not at all surprised at the intrusion. He just calmly asked what was going on. 

Shinsou stepped aside and gestured for Todoroki to show him the messages. 

Aizawa’s face tightened as he read them. 

Ever so slightly mechanically, Aizawa asked Todoroki, “Do you have any reason to suspect he knows where you are?” He then looked up at Todoroki, as though trying to gauge his response. 

“May-be… umm…” Todoroki took a shaky breath. In a very small voice, he said, “...tracker?” 

“There might be a tracker on your phone. Is that correct?” 

He screwed his eyes shut and nodded. 

“Would it be okay for Hizashi to look at your phone? He’s good at electronics and will be able to tell if there’s one.” 

Todoroki opened his eyes in surprise. 

Aizawa actually believed him? 

Soon, Todoroki found himself sitting on the edge of a bed with Aizawa next to him, listening to Yamada fiddling on his phone and a computer at a nearby desk. Shinsou leaned against a wall near the door. 

Once it became clear that Todoroki’s phone did in fact have a tracker, they had been discussing a plan. 

“Listener, can you tell me what you know about this tracker?” Yamada asked, only briefly glancing over his shoulder. “Knowing will help me figure out how to hack it.” 

“Well, my father… we were training. He had me, use my left side. Then he left. After a couple hours, he was back with a phone. He stopped my training and then gave me the phone. He said, ‘This is for me to keep track of you while you’re at the dorms.’ That’s all I know.” 

He knew he should explain more, but he couldn’t bring himself to. His left hand burned from the memory of his father forcing him to use his fire. Not only just use it, but also sustain it for hours. 

Shouto had nearly passed out from the heat first of Endeavor forcing him by holding Shouto’s hand and lighting his own hand, and in extension Shouto’s, on fire. Then by being forced to continuously use a power he was inexperienced in. 

No other training was done that day. It wasn’t necessary. The message was literally seared into him. 

Shouto did not own his powers; the Todoroki lineage did. 

“Thank you for telling us, and letting us help you.” 

Todoroki looked up at Aizawa, brows pressed together. 

“I mean it. I know that was hard. And that it’s been hard.” 

For some reason, tears began to well up in his eyes. 

Suddenly, he wanted to say everything on his mind, he wanted to talk about his feelings towards Midoriya, his father’s almost impossible expectations, his mother’s breakdown and the consequential loss of the one person who was able to bring him comfort. 

Of how he got his scar and of his father’s brutal treatment. 

Of the nearly constant pain he grew up with. 

But he couldn’t say any of that, not now. Not when Endeavor would be here at any minute. 

Aizawa hated the plan they came up with. He had been trying to form one for the last few days but had yet to find one that avoided this inevitable outcome, and now he was out of time. 

He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms and scarf around this frightened and —as has become increasingly apparent— traumatized kid in front of him, to protect him from a world that has been turning its back on him. 

His mind screamed at him, every fiber of his being detesting himself and everything else that led to this being the only option. 

But what other choice was there? The law had forced his hand. 

He would fight tooth and nail for Shouto; he would even cut off a limb if that was what it took to keep this kid, and everyone else, safe. 

He promised he would keep Todoroki Shouto safe. 

He just hoped his kid could hold on long enough for him to make good on that promise.

So to find himself helping Shouto pack his backpack and waiting in the driveway for Endeavor to pick him up was the hardest thing Aizawa could have done.

Chapter Text

Whatever light had been returning to Shouto’s eyes snuffed out the moment Endeavor’s hand landed heavily on his shoulder. Aizawa watched it happen and did nothing. 

He couldn’t. 

Without proof, there was no way to get Shouto away from Endeavor. One couldn’t just accuse the #1 Hero out of nowhere. And since Endeavor was Shouto’s legal guardian, he had even more control over him. 

“Thank you for getting me back my son, Eraser Head.” 

“Mm.” Aizawa hated how Endeavor made it sound like Shouto was some sort of object that had been stolen. He clenched his fists, but kept his face neutral. 

Or at least as neutral as he could. Anger surged through him, held back by only one thing: the knowledge that anything he did would just make the next few days that much worse for Shouto. 

So he said very little, which wasn’t an issue with Endeavor. 

Now that he had gotten his hands back on his son —his trophy , Aizawa thought with bile in his mouth— Endeavor didn’t much care about him. 

Aizawa only wished there was something, anything he could say that could convince Shouto that he wasn’t being abandoned, that he would be rescued, that he only needed to hold out for a couple more days. 

He silently begged Shouto to hold on just a little longer. 

Those eyes though, those eyes that Aizawa had seen so much emotion in over the last few days —excitement, pain, embarrassment, confusion, eagerness, panic, vulnerability, trust — were now completely empty as they turned away from him, shepherded back to the car of his abuser by his abuser. 

And it was those eyes that haunted Aizawa long after the car had driven away. 

Those same eyes stared forward, watching as the scenery outside slowly became more familiar. 

Familiar, but not welcoming. 

He could feel the heat of his father’s rage next to him, but Endeavor had yet to say anything. He hoped it stayed that way, but also he knew he needed Endeavor to say something, anything, “incriminating” as Aizawa had put it. 

Todoroki didn’t really know what that meant though. 

All he knew was that his sweatshirt pocket was currently illuminated by the “On call with: Aizawa-sensei” screen. His side of the call was on speaker phone; and the other side, Aizawa’s side, was muted and recording. 

Knowing that that little light was there, that he wasn’t entirely alone, somehow made Todoroki feel… not safe exactly, not with Endeavor… but maybe just a bit less alone. 

Though any amount of comfort he had gotten from that was driven away with Endeavor’s first words to him.

“You ran away. I shouldn’t even be surprised. You were always weak.” He pulled onto another street. 

“Weak like your mother, weak like your eldest brother. That's why Rei is sick and Touya is dead.” 

Todoroki's hands, already curled around his pant legs, turned white. But he didn't say anything, letting Endeavor continue. 

“And now you’re behind on your training, Shouto. How can you expect to become #1 without constant training?!” 

Todoroki still didn’t say anything. 

Silence was safe . 

“Did you even train at all in the last week?” 

A prickle of guilt stabbed Todoroki. No, he hadn’t. 

He had failed. 

He knew it, and so did Endeavor. 

He briefly wondered how much training he’d have to do to make up for the last few days. 

Endeavor continued his speech about Todoroki becoming the next #1, having to surpass All Might at his best, about Todoroki being the perfect creation, and so on. 

Todoroki knew this speech backwards and forwards. He was sure he could recite in his sleep. 

It certainly haunted it enough. 

Todoroki found that he couldn’t really listen this time. Usually, he could and would force all of his attention on anything Endeavor had to say, knowing the consequences of not doing so. 

But somehow, when he remembered that light in his pocket, he found it easier to ignore the speech. Maybe, just maybe he could believe that this was temporary, that all he had to do was make sure that he was on a phone call with Aizawa-sensei during Endeavor’s training and soon it would be over. 

He’s not entirely sure he believes that will work, but perhaps it was okay to hope, at least for a little while.

Chapter Text

Throughout the years, Endeavor had come up with many ways to train Todoroki. He would spend hours in the dojo every day practicing forms and building tolerance, but sometimes Endeavor got bored with that. Sometimes he felt like something more was needed. 

Of those special exercises, Endeavor’s favorite was designed to build up the heat resistance on Todoroki's right side while at the same time forcing him to train his left. 

Upon arriving at the Todoroki residence, the two of them marched straight for the bathroom. Todoroki hadn't even had time to put his backpack in his room, instead depositing it right outside the bathroom door. After placing it, he took a quick, steadying breath and stepped in. 

Endeavor had already turned on the tub faucet, and the familiar sound of rushing water hitting acrylic further set Todoroki on edge. He knew what was to come, and already his skin crawled. Steam began to rise from the water, though the starting temperature didn't much matter. 

Once it was full, Todoroki was directed to take off his hoodie. He unzipped it and carefully pulled it off his shoulders. His phone was still in one of the front pockets and still on call, and he couldn't risk it falling out. If Endeavor noticed his odd behavior, he didn't say anything. Todoroki quickly folded up his hoodie and slid into the tub, still fully clothed in a white T-shirt and jeans. 

“Get in,” Endeavor barked. 

The water was already hot enough to cause flushing on his ice-resistant side, but that was not of any concern to Endeavor. The point of this exercise was not to keep the water or himself at a steady temperature. 

“Heat.”

In fact, he was forbidden to use his right at all. 

Shouto closed his eyes and lit his left. He pictured the flames coursing across the skin of his left, heating the tub beyond bearable. 

“I said, ‘Heat.’” 

“I—” Todoroki started as he opened his eyes. They fell on his left. It was completely unlit. 

No flames, embers, or even smoke. 

He tried again. 

Nothing. 

He briefly remembered how, when he had tried to light the stove back in the dorms when the power was off, it hadn't worked. He couldn't actually remember the last time he had used his flames. 

“I can’t,” he rasped. “It won’t—”

Endeavor grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him off his feet until he was face to face with Endeavor. Water streamed from his clothes, splashing loudly back into the tub and onto the floor. 

“Heat, boy!” He practically yelled in Todoroki's face. 

“I'm sorry, I can't…” Tears sprang to his eyes. 

The pure anger in Endeavor’s eyes was something he had rarely seen this bright before. Then it suddenly switched to cold indifference, sending a shiver down Todoroki's spine. 

“Fine.” He let go. 

Todoroki's feet hit the bottom of the tub, then slipped out from underneath him. His head smashed against the side of the tub. 

Stars flashed across his vision. 

Endeavor crouched down next to the tub, level within Todoroki's spotted vision again. 

“If you won't do it, I will.”

“No, please, no.” His voice was barely more than a whisper. 

Endeavor's hands went under the water. 

Todoroki pulled together as much strength and courage as he had, desperate for his phone to pick up his words through the cloth of his folded sweatshirt. 

“Please, don't use your fire!” 

Endeavor's hands lit. 

It was hard to see or breathe through the steam that filled the bathroom. Everything had taken on a paler shade through the thick vapor. 

The sound of the faucet splashing was the only thing Todoroki could hear over the shrieking in his head. 

Every inch of his skin burned. Beyond burning. 

Boiling. 

He was being boiled. 

He tried to make out Endeavor or the tub or anything; but through the steaming haze and the spots growing in his vision, he could make out very little but glowing hands under the water. 

His left side fared somewhat better than his right, but even this heat was enough to burn through the resistance. 

Endeavor's flames were hotter than his, that was something he had always known but usually hadn't a reason to think much about. His ice side cooled his fire, even when not activated, and vice versa. Rei’s ice was colder than his too. 

Cold. 

Why did he feel cold? 

Stabs of ice spread across his skin. 

No, not ice. 

His nerves didn't know how to process just how extreme this temperature was. They could no longer tell if he was burning or freezing alive. 

All they could tell him was that he was in extreme danger. 

He needed to get away, to get out. He shot a pillar of ice towards the source of this heat; but to his horror, it melted almost immediately. 

Pain shot through his right arm and his head. 

The sudden chill shocked his body. 

Too cold, too fast. 

He was quickly losing consciousness. He gave one last effort to force Endeavor away, before the black spots fully consumed his vision. 

The shrieking in his head faded away. 

A faint splash. 

Water around him.

Then nothing else. 

Chapter Text

After Endeavor drove away, Shouto back in hand, Aizawa forced himself to turn away from the retreating car. He knew there was nothing he could do for Shouto at this moment, but still turning away, returning to his safe home, felt like a betrayal. 

He forced his legs to move, and suddenly he was running through the living room and hallway, up the stairs, and into his bedroom and office. 

Hizashi and Hitoshi both looked up as he rushed in, faces grim. 

“Did I miss anything?” Aizawa asked, somewhat out of breath. 

“No, it's been silent. Not a word since Endeavor thanked you.” Hizashi responded. 

Aizawa gave a tight nod, jaw clenched, and sat down in his desk chair. 

All three of them crowded around the lit phone screen and waited. 

After half an hour of nothing but the car engine, Endeavor's deep voice began speaking. “You ran away. I shouldn’t even be surprised. You were always weak.” Aizawa’s hands clenched into fists. Shouto was one of the strongest people he knew. “Weak like your mother, weak like your eldest brother. That's why Rei is sick and Touya is dead.” 

Horror filled Aizawa as even more of Endeavor’s abuse of his family came to light and clicked into place. 

What exactly did Endeavor do to his family? And how could he speak about it so carelessly? 

He felt sick just thinking about it. 

“And now you're behind on your training, Shouto. How can you expect to become #1 without constant training? Did you even train at all in the last week!?” 

Shouto had been sick for who knows how long before break. When Aizawa found him at the dorms, the kid could barely keep conscious and threw up countless times. Of course he didn’t train . If anyone has even suggested that Shouto should train while he was that sick, they would have had a bloody nose with which to contend. 

Endeavor continued with what was clearly a well-rehearsed speech. He spoke about Shouto becoming the next #1, about how he needed to surpass All Might. He then turned to how Todoroki was the perfect creation, the perfect union of fire and ice. 

These were all things Aizawa knew —he had been informed by All Might— but it nonetheless made his blood boil. This man really did not see his son as anything more than a machine into which he could program anything he wanted. 

Anger reared itself, and Aizawa pictured himself ripping Endeavor to shreds, piece by piece. First he would rip out that stupid mustache and then—

The sound of the car engine turning off pulled Aizawa out of his daydream. Endeavor said something about going to the bathroom, which he thought nothing of. 

A few minutes passed, then the sound of a bath filling came through the speakers. 

Why would Shouto be filling a bath? He would have expected Endeavor to force some sort of training on him, but at least this would mean that Shouto would be safe for a bit. 

Aizawa even let himself relax until he heard Endeavor’s voice telling Shouto to take off his hoodie. Some shuffling followed the command as the orders were presumably followed. The sounds coming through were much more muffled now; but based on the fact that they were still connected, Shouto must have successfully hidden the phone. 

Then, “Get in.” Aizawa could practically see how Shouto must have flinched at Endeavor’s harsh voice. Some splashing then, “Heat.” A pause. “I said, ‘Heat.’”

What did Endeavor mean by—?

But then, Shouto responded. “I can’t. It won’t—”

Those were the first words Aizawa had heard Shouto say since he left, and his kid sounded terrified . 

Loud splashing drowned out the end of Shouto’s sentence. It sounded as though he had been yanked out of the water. 

“Heat, boy!” Endeavor boomed. 

Shouto’s voice was so small and so scared . “I'm sorry, I can't…” 

Aizawa wanted to wrap him in a blanket and hug and never, ever let him go. How could any parent treat their child like this? Doing this to a villain who deserved it was one thing, but Endeavor was doing this to a child who’s only mistake was having the misfortune of being born to this man. 

“Fine.” Where Endeavor’s words had previously been full of rage, that one word was completely devoid of anything. 

Even more chilling was the huge splash and sickening thud that followed it. 

“If you won't do it, I will.” 

Aizawa could just barely hear Shouto pleading with Endeavor. “No, please, no.” 

A much smaller splash followed. Then in a much louder, but still incredibly weak voice, Shouto called out, “Please, don't use your fire!” 

And that's when the screaming started. 

The three of them listened in horror. It seemed to go on forever, that horrible horrible sound. 

Slowly it dawned on Aizawa: they were listening to Shouto, to a child , being tortured. 

He felt sick. 

Nothing Shouto had said about what he went through came close to describing how bad what he goes through is. How much brainwashing had Endeavor done for Shouto to not even comprehend this severe abuse? 

Aizawa had never ever felt rage such as this. Todoroki Shouto would never, ever have to go through something like this again.

He stood up, he had to do something, anything, then just sit here, listening as Shouto, his child, got abused by someone sworn to never lift a finger to physically harm an innocent—

“What are you doing?” Hizashi looked up at him. 

“I’m going to kill him. I absolutely am.” His voice shook with anger. 

Hizashi grabbed his hand. “We can’t. We don't have—” 

His words were interrupted by more splashing coming through the phone followed by the wet slap of soaked fabric hitting tile. All was quiet for a few seconds until: “Wake up. You weren’t under that long.” 

A few wet slaps precluded a bout of violent coughing. 

“Get up!” 

More wet coughing followed. 

“You’re useless, you know that? You should be thanking me. I’ve given you individual training, making sure you rise to be the best. I got you the perfect quirk. And this is how you use that gift?” A thud. “Go get cleaned up and sleep. Training begins at 6.” 

Everything was quiet after Endeavor left. A few minutes passed in silence, until the sound of muffled sobs filtered through the line. 

They listened, stunned and helpless, as Shouto sobbed. 

Alone and undoubtedly in pain. 

They listened until the phone flashed “call ended,” followed by the disconnection sound. 

A notification popped up: [Call ended] [Call time: 3:00:00]

Chapter Text

Rage boiled through Aizawa. He couldn’t just stand here, having listened to his child go through so much pain and abuse. Every inch of his body screamed at him to run to Todoroki, to get him out of there, to never ever let anything happen to him again. 

And to kill Endeavor and tear him to shreds. That man, that monster, deserved everything and more that Aizawa wished to inflict upon him. 

Hizashi’s hand was still on his wrist from his outburst earlier, and he tried to wrench it out of his partner’s grasp. He needed to go, he needed to kill that man right now. He needed to make him pay . 

But Hizashi’s grip was firm.
“Let me go.” Aizawa growled. He looked down at Hizashi and realized his husband was speaking to him, but he couldn’t hear a word. That’s when he noticed the blood rush in his ears, making everything distorted and intelligible. 

His husband briefly turned to address someone else in the room, and Aizawa turned to see Hitoshi leaving the room. He had forgotten they were there, and didn’t know why they were leaving. 

That didn’t matter right now though. They weren’t in danger or pain. 

He turned back to the hand holding him back and yanked on it. This time it moved, but the hand didn’t let go. Hizashi had stood up, talking to Aizawa; but he still couldn’t make out the words. 

But that didn’t matter.  

Didn’t Hizashi understand? Didn’t he also listen to their child getting hurt? Didn’t he also feel his insides boil at the thought?

What if Endeavor killed him before they could save him? What if Shouto lost all the progress he made while he was here? What if Aizawa couldn’t help save him from his own mind after? 

What if he died after he got out? 

A hand grabbed his other wrist, and he tried to pull away again. At this point, he was desperate, frantic. “Let me go, let me go. Please.” 

He didn’t care; he needed to go. His child was going to die. He was going to die. He needed to go, needed to run, needed to do something.

The blond hair of his husband morphed into long, black strands. A woman towered over Shouta, hands around his wrists, keeping him from running away. 

She yanked him around, practically throwing his child self across the room. He tried to regain his footing but slipped on an empty bottle on the floor. 

His head hit the wall with a resounding CRACK! 

“You’re useless, USELESS! What did I do to deserve such a SPOILED BRAT??” Tears streamed down her face as she looked at him with wild eyes. “I gave up everything for you!” 

Her hands left his wrists, but moved to pounding against his chest, interjected by her screams and yells. “Your father left—” Pound. “--because of you!” Pound. “I lost my house—” Pound. “—and my job!” Pound. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Pound, pound. “YOU UNGRATEFUL, SELFISH CHILD!!” 

“Please stop. I’m sorry. Please stop, mom. Please.”  

Aizawa’s eyes were screwed shut, and his voice had a higher, childlike quality as he begged the person holding his wrists to let him go. “I’m sorry. I won’t ask for anything again. Please just let me go. Please.” 

He sank to his knees, still begging. 

The hands moved from his wrists. And he flinched away, finally free from the restraint. His hands flew to cover his head, fingers tangling in his long hair. Not that he could much feel them. They had taken on a static-like feeling. Vaguely he recognized that meant he was hyperventilating. 

He tried to force himself to follow the 5 in, hold for 5, 5 out technique he used for helping people out of panic attacks. 

A panic attack. 

He had a panic attack. He, who was safe, who was in his house with his husband and two of his kids, had panicked. 

This wasn’t going to help Shouto, he berated himself. He needed to help Shouto. 

He tried to stand up, but found that his legs were still too shaky to hold his weight. He fell onto the bed, and suddenly there was a hand on his back. Aizawa looked up at his husband, finally being able to recognize him as such. 

The rush in his ears started to clear as his breaths became more regular. 

Hizashi’s other hand cupped Aizawa’s face, wiping away the tears that had fallen. Aizawa leaned into his touch and fell against his husband’s chest, completely exhausted the way he was after every panic attack.
“We have to save him.” Aizawa whispered, too drained for anything louder. 

“I know. We will. I promise.”

Chapter Text

The searing water burned as it made its way out of Todoroki’s lungs. A few harsh slaps on his back sent him coughing up more water. 

Lungs finally mostly clear, the black spots began to clear from his vision as he took in full breaths of air. He could tell that Endeavor was talking, but he still couldn’t hear much through his waterlogged ears. He shook his head a few times, making the pain in the back of his head known again. 

His ears popped, and his hearing returned immediately. Endeavor’s voice was suddenly too loud. “—thanking me. I’ve given you the individual training, making sure you rise to be the best. I got you the perfect quirk. And this is how you use that gift?” 

Endeavor kicked Shouto in the back, eliciting a small grunt of pain. “Go get cleaned up and sleep. Training begins at 6.” 

His large footsteps slowly disappeared, and Todoroki was left alone. 

The bathroom floor was soaked, nearly submerged in cooling bathwater. His body was sprawled on the floor from where Endeavor had dragged him out of the tub; his usually pale skin had taken on a bright, burned red and felt rather like it would melt off. 

The bandages on his hands, the ones that Aizawa had so meticulously wrapped, unraveled in tatters. It revealed the tiny cuts and scabs from the glass he had broken at Aizawa’s. 

He recalled the patience and compassion Aizawa had shown as he took care of the injuries. How he hummed and sang and told Todoroki about his cat. 

And now it was ruined. 

He couldn’t even keep one part of those few wonderful days safe. 

His father was right: he was a failure, useless, and wrong. He didn’t deserve his quirk or his training. He didn’t deserve his mother’s love or his father's attention. 

And most of all, he didn’t deserve Aizawa’s kindness. 

The salt from his tears made his skin burn even more. 

Painful sobs wracked through him, further irritating his already hurt lungs. The water around him had cooled, sending his body into violent shivers. 

He needed to get up, to take care of his burns, to clean up the water, to change his clothes, to sleep. He forced his stiff arms under him to push himself up. They slipped on the water-slicked surface, and he nearly slammed face first back onto the floor. 

Why did everything hurt? Why must everything always hurt? 

He curled into a ball, arms around his head. Tears mixed with the water by his ear pressed against the tile. 

Why did he deserve this? 

Aizawa lay on his bed, arms curled around a pillow Hitoshi had given him. He willed himself to get up. He couldn’t just lay here.  

But anytime he tried to get up, Hizashi appeared next to him and pressed him back down, and his exhaustion forced him to comply. He hated that he couldn’t put up much of a fight, but the panic attack had thoroughly drained him.

He had always hated just how drained he felt after a panic attack. He had hoped to outgrow it, but the exhaustion stubbornly stuck around. 

After some time, he recovered enough to be more aware of his surroundings to notice his husband rushing around the room, grabbing random things. 

“What are you—?” He once again struggled to sit up. This time though, Hizashi didn't force him back down. 

“Are you feeling better?” He cupped Aizawa’s face in his hand and inspected him closely. 

Aizawa gently grabbed it and took it in his hand, making a non-committal noise. “What are you doing?” He asked again with a nod to the briefcase stuffed with various items. 

“Well, tonight is going to be very long. …And I needed something to do to feel productive. If you’re feeling better though, we can start driving.” 

“Driv-ing?” Aizawa echoed, still somewhat confused. 

Hizashi gave an exasperated huff. “Of course, driving . We have proof. Did you think we were going to leave our kid there??”

Chapter Text

Todoroki awoke with a gasp, followed by a fit of coughing.  Nightmares gave away to the one coming into place around him. Water still covered the floor of the bathroom. Vaguely, he recalled his father telling him to clean up as small amounts of water made their way out of his lungs, disappearing among the rest. 

His joints immediately protested his attempts to get up, having stiffened from the cold tile and water around him as he was unconscious. The fabric of his clothes tugged painfully at his skin which, after one glance, he vowed not to look at it anymore. 

Now unsteadily on his feet, he reached for his hoodie, clawing at the navy material with stiffened hands to find his phone buried in the front pocket. They had both been on the counter and luckily escaped most of the splashing. 

His phone screen blinked awake at him, displaying “call ended” with a button to redial, an option he immediately took when he noticed the time. He was very nearly late for training. 

Knowing there would be no time to change, he pulled the hoodie back on, ignoring the pain in his stiff muscles and burned skin. 

After one more glance at the water covering the floor, he left the bathroom. The punishment for not following a direct order was steep, but Todoroki had learned the hard way that being late was even worse. 

Nothing was worse in his father’s eyes than wasting his precious time. 

The air in the practice room smoked with anger, as Endeavor’s quirk caused the tatami mats to begin smoldering. Todoroki coughed painfully as he stepped into the room, lungs still protesting from earlier. 

Endeavor was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed and with smoke pouring out of his nostrils. “At least you’re not late…” He strode towards Todoroki and seized him by the head, large hand closing around the multicolored strands. He lowered his head enough to whisper in his son’s ear, “... you pathetic excuse for a hero.” 

With one swipe of his arm, he sent Todoroki stumbling forward into the room. Barely able to keep his balance on his shaking limbs, Todoroki turned back towards Endeavor and weakly raised his hands to defend himself. He summoned his right, sending alarm signals all through his body as the ice touched burnt flesh. 

Before he could send an attack, Endeavor easily broke through his shakey defenses and backhanded him across the face. 

The impact sent Todoroki crashing onto his side. He hit the floor roughly, causing another fit of coughs. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something skid across the floor: his phone. 

“No,” he croaked, crawling desperately for it. He had to get to it, he had to—

“What’s this?” 

No!

Endeavor had the phone in his hand. “Calling Aizawa-sensei…” 

In a flash, the phone was smashed against the wall. It fell to the floor in front of Todoroki, shattered and dead. 

Still, he reached for it anyway, desperate. Maybe, just maybe there was still a call being made. Maybe he could still get help. Maybe—

Endeavor’s foot landed on Todoroki’s outstretched hand. He let out a shriek at the weight of the man pressed his hands into the tatami mats below. “What? Did you think that someone was going to rescue you?”

The weight was gone, and Endeavor was barking at him to get to his feet. Numbly he complied, gaze still on the wrecked phone. 

A fist drove into his shoulder, pulling his attention back to Endeavor. 

“Are you so weak as to get help? To escape your training?” Another punch, to his other shoulder this time. 

“Weak, pathetic, coward.” Punch, punch, punch. 

Endeavor continued to hurl insults and punches; and each time, Todoroki took an involuntary step back and soon was pressed up against the back wall. 

A final spear to the gut sent him to his knees, coughing and gasping. His skin was lit on fire. Not literally, but it might as well have been. 

“Get up!” 

Was this what Touya felt before he died? 

The fabric of his shirt peeled painfully off his skin as Endeavor’s hand buried into the front of it. Todoroki felt himself rising from the ground. 

Burning, burning, nothing but burning? 

Endeavor barked something in his face. Todoroki didn’t hear. 

Burning, boiling. 

Pain, pain, pain. 

He hit the ground. Boots against his ribs. 

Crack, more pain. 

Did Touya want to die? 

Pain. 

His entire body shook. 

Pain. 

Did he want to live? 

Stinging on his cheeks. Red on his hands. 

Red shirt. 

Did Todoroki want to die? 

Flames. Fire. Burning. 

Burning. 

Burning. 

Burning. 

Always burning. 

It never stopped. 

But Shouto…

Shouto didn’t want to die. 

Shouto wanted to live.