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A glass dropped when Minnie realised. Her own glass, nevertheless. Room temperature red wine spilled into her lap as a pink tint spread across her face. The chair she sat on suddenly felt unstable, and Minnie wished it would break so she could fall back and into the ground, where she would bury herself and never to be seen again.
Now that wouldn’t happen, and she knew that, but a person could dream.
As the redness spread across her white shirt, she just sat and stared. Stared at the table full off Korean dishes in front of her. At the phone on the other side of the table, which wasn’t very interesting but Minnie found that her eyes were locked on it. Maybe it was a self defence mechanism, so she wouldn’t have to go through the embarrassment that was looking up at everyone’s faces, to see their reactions.
Minnie was usually good with unfortunate events. She could usually just joke it off. Not this time, though. This time it was way more than a little spilled wine.
Forever was she going to remember this moment. When she was an old and rusty pensioner she was going to think back to this moment, shook her head and feel the embarrassment come back to her.
Minnie hadn’t just spilled wine on herself. She’d realised something. Something bad. And she’d done it in a room full of people, five of which being her friends.
“Oh my god!” Miyeon uttered while she tapped a napkin against Minnie’s skirt. “What happened?”
Without daring to look at her, Minnie stood up from her seat, excused herself and hurried away to the bathroom.
She left the entire table confused. Sana, Dahyun, Mina, Chaeyoung and Miyeon all looked back and forth between each other, trying to understand what just happened.
“Did we upset her?” Chaeyoung asked worriedly.
Chaeyoung didn’t know Minnie too well yet, neither did Dahyun. They hadn’t really hung out that much with their friends’ partners, Miyeon and Minnie. The youngest worrying she was the problem wasn’t too strange because of the fact.
Today would be their first dinner with the two couples, and Minnie had really looked forward to it since Sana and Mina both talked about their girlfriends like they meant the world to them. Miyeon and Minnie nodded and smiled each time, painting up a beautiful picture of their love. Minnie did, at least.
“No, no!,” Miyeon said quickly. “I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure it wasn’t because of you.”
She bent down to pic up the forgotten glass on the floor. Luckily, it hadn’t broken. Mina helped her dry up the chair before a waiter asked to take over. They apologised for making a mess, but the waiter was kind and just brushed it off.
“Should we go check on her?” Mina asked, slightly leaning into Miyeon.
Meanwhile in the bathroom, which smelled like leaves and bark from the scented candle, Mina hastily rubbed wet paper against her skirt, but she quickly realised that it wouldn’t work. The stain only spread out further, almost covering the entire front of the skirt by now.
Minnie swore as she threw the paper into the bin on the right side of the sink.
Her hands then landed on the sink, holding tightly onto the porcelain as she breathed quickly. When she looked up at the mirror, she saw that her face still was red. Her bangs were messy, laying in three separate strands on her forehead.
The Thai idol sighed as she looked at herself. She wondered how a smart person like her could be so fucking stupid. How come she hadn’t realised it before? It’s not like a person just fall in love with their best friend with the snap of a finger. These feelings she had must’ve built overtime, so why hadn’t she realised it before? And why did she have to realise them in the middle of a dinner with her friends?
Chaeyoung and Dahyun had just started telling the table about the plot to the show they were currently watching. Three sisters, their mother leaves, they’re poor. That was as much as Minnie managed to hear before a lightbulb appeared above her head and she nearly chocked on her drink. Miyeon had only met her eyes for a mere second when the lightbulb turned on. And she didn’t look any different than normal.
Miyeon was pretty, of course. She’d always been pretty and Minnie was sure she would be until the day she left earth. She was pretty today, but not prettier than she usually was.
She’d been wearing the same mascara she had worn for two years, and the same lipgloss she had when she first became a trainee. She even wore the white blouse her mother gifted her three years ago, and a pair of denim jeans the two of them had shared until Miyeon claimed them as her own.
Everything was just like usual, but still, Minnie’s heart decided to give her brain this life changing, life ruining, information, out of nowhere.
She rubbed her temples harshly, trying to get some sense into herself. As she tried to think about literally anything else than Miyeon’s eyes staring back at her, she realised that she couldn’t. She had accidentally fell in love with her best friend. Fuck.
A knock was pressed to the door, before Miyeon’s voice called for her.
“Minnie,” Miyeon said so softly that Minnie felt butterflies in her stomach, “are you alright?”
Swearing quietly to herself, Minnie fixed her bangs in her mirror before she went to turn the lock. The door clicked open and Minnie met the eyes of a frowning Miyeon. Without knowing what else to say, Minnie motioned towards her skirt.
“I think it’s ruined,” she said, feeling a lump in her throat and a burn on her cheeks.
“It’s okay,” Miyeon smiled. “I have a similar one that I never use. You can have it.”
Miyeon’s eyes were kind, like always. Shaped like a laying diamond. Coloured after the darkest chocolate.
“Thank you,” Minnie muttered in a voice that resembled a sad child.
She had a pout on her lips, because aegyo came natural to her, even when she had a mental breakdown going on inside. Miyeon chuckled before she wrapped her arm around Minnie’s shoulder. They started making their way back to the table.
“It’s okay,” Miyeon tried to reassure her. “As long as you’re sitting down, no one will see. And we ordered you another glass.”
“Thank you,” Minnie muttered, still keeping her pout.
Their other friends had already gotten themselves into a new conversation, but their attention returned to Miyeon and Minnie as soon as they were close enough. Minnie noticed how they all looked down at her clothes, before they gave her an empathic half-smile.
She didn’t have to explain the situation any further, which she was thankful for, because the ever-so-cheery Sana started talking about what they should get for desert.
Minnie’s chair was clean and her glass was filled. Everything was like it never happened, except she still felt the same amount of stress inside her. And it only got worse every time she looked over at Miyeon. She made a point not to.
Instead, she turned to Mina, who already was looking right at her.
“Are you okay?” Mina mouthed, to which Minnie quickly shook her head, because she wasn’t even close to okay. Mina furrowed her eyebrows as she tilted her head. The slightly younger woman whispered a quick “later” before taking a sip from her drink.
The two women continued a conversation after, because Minnie could not turn around to look at Miyeon.
The Thai woman noticed how Mina’s and Chaeyoung’s hands were clasped together between them, while the younger woman focused on her conversation with Dahyun. Minnie wondered if that ever will be her. Sitting at a restaurant with her friends, holding someone’s hand. But then she realised that any thinking of that kind just lead her mind right back to her best friend, and she was not having it.
While Mina explained the concept of her group’s next comeback, Minnie looked over at Dahyun and Sana. Their shoulders were brushing against each other while their attention was in their separate conversations. It seemed like their love came so easily to them, like they didn’t have to do much to know how much they loved each other. Maybe it came from being in a relationship for so many years. Minnie wondered how it would feel, but only for a single second because as soon as a picture of Miyeon’s face appeared in her mind, Minnie shook her head.
The dinner eventually came to an end. They were all a little dopey from the bottles of wine they’d shared, so the walk back towards their separate apartment complexes was as entertaining as a comedy show.
Dahyun and Chaeyoung walked with their arms over each other’s shoulders as they dramatically sang the entire soundtrack to Shrek 2. Miyeon and Sana walked behind them, pointing and laughing. Minnie and Mina were in the furthest back, Minnie’s arm hanging around Mina’s while the Japanese woman controlled their steps so the two wouldn’t walk right out into the street.
“I’m in love,” Minnie said breathily right into Mina’s ear.
Her eyes were half closed and she couldn’t get herself to walk straight no matter how hard she tried. She didn’t catch Mina’s reaction to her statement as she was too busy keeping herself from throwing up.
“Are you now?” Mina asked with a teasing voice.
“So in love,” Minnie nodded. “I… I love her.”
Her words didn’t come out the way she wanted them to. Her mind was clear, she knew what she wanted to say, but her mouth said it slurry so she wasn’t shocked when Mina got the impression that she was way more drunk than she really was.
“With who are you in love?” Mina asked, putting her arm on Minnie’s waist to hold her up better.
Minnie stopped, looked at her with a grin before she motioned for her to come closer. Mina closed up to her with her ear, and Minnie looked over at Miyeon before she whispered her name in an exhale. Mina rapidly turned her head, looked at her with a confused frown.
“Miyeon?” Mina asked. “You’re in love with Miyeon?”
Just nodding, Minnie started walking, forcing Mina to do the same.
“Since when?” the Japanese woman asked.
Minnie moved her shoulders, as to say “I don’t know”, before she leaned into Mina’s ear again.
“I’m gonna tell her,” she whispered.
“You’re gonna tell her?”
“I’m gonna tell her tonight.”
Mina had to stop her from falling face first into the pavement, before she placed Minnie’s arm around her shoulder and held onto it with her own hand. Her other hand held a harsh grip on her waist.
“Maybe not tonight,” Mina offered. “Wait until tomorrow, at least.”
The Thai woman giggled mindlessly.
“I’m gonna tell her,” she repeated, before putting her head on Mina’s shoulder and continued, “but I’ll wait until tomorrow because I love you, my cute little Japanese friend.”
Minnie turned her head to plant a kiss on Mina’s cheek, while she smiled contently to herself.
Her mind knew how much of a problem she had to face, but her drunk body and heart didn’t see it as a problem in the moment. Maybe she should stay drunk forever. She considered it for a moment, but then she felt her dinner creep up her throat, and after that, she told herself never to get drunk again.
***
Despite being drunk enough to scream her confession to the world, Minnie had managed to follow Mina’s tip and hadn’t told Miyeon. Miyeon had helped her get to bed just as they’d entered the apartment, even though Miyeon seemed just as drunk as Minnie was.
Minnie’s head pounded when she woke up on top of her covers, dressed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants Miyeon had gotten her into. She didn’t want to open her eyes at first, because she didn’t want to face this day. But she soon realised that she had to, and that the situation only would get more out of hand if she kept everything to herself.
So, she got up and made herself a cup of tea while waiting by the kitchen island for Miyeon to come out of her room.
However, she very quickly realised that Miyeon wasn’t coming, and her legs were far too tired to stand on.
Instead, she laid down on the couch, her cup of tea on the table beside her, giving the room a camomile scent. Her eyes were closed, ready to fall right back to sleep. Miyeon wouldn’t come out in another couple of hours anyway, so she thought.
Then, she felt a body land on top of her own. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know the smell of flowers, Minnie’s favourite flowers.
Miyeon’s head rested on top of Minnie’s chest while the younger woman let her arms wrap around Miyeon’s petite body. Miyeon was warm while Minnie was cold, so Minnie let her hands land on the little bit of skin between Miyeon’s crop top and sweatpants.
“Hungover?” Miyeon asked in a raspy voice. Minnie heard how she still was half-asleep.
“Mhm,” she replied in a low voice, not feeling completely awake either.
They stayed quiet for a few minutes, sharing their warmth and coldness (respectively) with each other, getting comfortable in their closeness.
“I had fun yesterday,” Miyeon mumbled.
Minnie couldn’t answer, because she didn’t want to lie. She did have fun up until the point where the realisation set in. And now thinking back on it, she felt the same kind of panic through her body, and it only doubled as Miyeon was laying right on top of her. But she couldn’t give herself away, not without talking about it first. She tried to control her breathing and tried to stay as still as she could. But, of course, Miyeon would notice.
“Your heart is beating like crazy,” she said. “Did you have that tea you bought? The one with caffeine in it?”
When Minnie didn’t answer, Miyeon lifted her head to look at her.
“Minnie,” she frowned, “I told you not to drink it. Caffeine isn’t healthy for you.”
Minnie swallowed. Their faces were only inches apart.
“Says the girl who drinks five coffees a day,” she tried to sound nonchalant, but she heard how uneven the words came out.
Miyeon shook her head before she got up from Minnie, to which the Thai silently thanked her in her mind. Standing up, Miyeon looked into the other’s cup before she took it with her to the kitchen.
“I can handle it because I’ve been drinking coffee for years,” she said by the sink. “You haven’t touched caffeine before, so you have to be careful. Your voice is even shaking. How much did you have?”
How could she tell Miyeon that she’d thrown the tea out as soon as Miyeon told her to? That her heart wasn’t going crazy because of some caffeinated tea? That Miyeon was her caffeine?
“Not a lot,” she answered quietly.
“Don’t drink that stuff,” the older woman turned on the kettle. “It’s not good for you…”
Miyeon kept mumbling in the kitchen, while Minnie desperately tried to calm her heart. Everything would’ve been so much easier if she hadn’t had that realisation last night.
She sighed, knowing she couldn’t keep it from her best friend any longer.
When Miyeon gave her a new cup of tea and sat down on the empty spot right beside her on the couch, the Thai woman anxiously bit her lip.
“So…” she started and awkwardly cleared her throat. “We have a problem.”
She was now sitting cross-legged on the beige couch, her warm cub in her hands and her shoulders tense. Miyeon, who immediately picked up on her posture, motioned for Minnie to turn her back to her. When the younger woman did, Miyeon pressed her hands against the area between her shoulder and her neck, let her thumbs press into the skin over her shoulder blades.
“Breathe in and out deeply,” the older woman said. “And straighten your back.”
Minnie followed her instructions, taking a sip from her tea. Her eyes closed as Miyeon’s thumb pressed into a sensitive spot.
“What’s the problem?” the older woman asked while continuing her massage. “Keep your back straight, Minnie.”
“So…” Minnie breathed. “There’s this thing… I realised this last night…”
Miyeon’s thumb pressed harshly into Minnie’s back, making the younger wince. As Miyeon’s thumb kept pressing, Minnie knew she’d found a knot.
“Mhm?” Miyeon asked, using her other hand to put even more pressure onto the knot. “Straighten your back!”
“I…” Minnie bit her lower lip, feeling how Miyeon got the knot. “I think I’m in love.”
While manually turning Minnie’s shoulders so the younger woman would look at her, Miyeon frowned. Her mouth hung slightly open while a quick chuckle escaped.
“In love?” she questioned. “With who?”
Miyeon looked around her, as if she would get the answer by looking around the room. Comically, she would get her answer if she just looked at herself.
“See, that’s the problem…” Minnie’s eyes drifted down to her cup as she mumbled.
“Ya!” Miyeon protested while throwing a punch to Minnie’s shoulder. “Tell me!”
The Thai woman closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She let one of her hands leave her cup, slowly lifted it out into the space between the two of them and extended her finger. Pointing was easier than telling.
When she finally opened her eyes again, she saw how Miyeon’s eyebrows had lifted on her forehead while she stared at Minnie’s finger.
“Me?”
Minnie bit her inner cheek, nodded slowly. Miyeon’s eyes met hers, and they were as beautiful as always, laced with a slight bit of confusion and maybe some fondness? Like when looking at something cute.
“I…I didn’t know,” Miyeon mumbled.
“Neither did I,” Minnie let her arm fall. “I just realised last night. It’s like… an accidental crush.”
Miyeon’s eyebrows fell into a frown as she nodded.
“Okay,” she said while still moving her head up and down. “So, what do we now?”
Her voice wasn’t coloured with anything else than genuine wondering. Minnie liked that about Miyeon. She never judged anyone about anything. Unfortunately, Minnie liked it a little too much.
“I shouldn’t have told you,” she mumbled, slightly turning her body to face the wall.
“No!” Miyeon protested and put her hand on Minnie’s. “You’re my best friend, I want you to tell me stuff like this. I’m just… surprised.”
They looked deep into each other’s eyes. Minnie imagined she would feel a lot more pathetic when confessing, but it was something about how kind Miyeon’s eyes were, and her cold hand made Minnie cool down.
She thought she had been alone with this burden, but Miyeon showed her that she wasn’t alone. Her best friend and accidental crush was right here with her, and was ready to invest just as much of herself into it as Minnie.
Minnie wasn’t exactly sure what she thought Miyeon was going to say…
“We can always try.”
… but it wasn’t that.
“What?”
Minnie’s eyes were wide, just as confused as Miyeon had been merely a minute earlier. Miyeon’s eyes, however, were sharp and determined.
“I mean,” she gripped Minnie’s hand a little harder, “we’re practically dating already, why not put an official label on it?”
Minnie’s mouth fell.
“What?” she repeated.
“Minnie,” Miyeon shifted closer. “I like you a lot and I’d love to try to be your girlfriend for awhile. Plus, I’m a little tired of always feeling like a fifth wheel with our friends.”
Minnie blinked.
“You’re saying…” she spoke as she tried to clear her thoughts. “We’re gonna start dating? You and I? Like, for real?”
“Yes,” Miyeon smiled. “I get to have a partner for the first time in years, and you get to explore your feelings. Who knows, maybe I end up liking you back.”
This was far beyond what Minnie had thought about all of this. She just found out last night, and when she planned to tell Miyeon, she didn’t think the woman would want to date her too. And although it’s dating with no feelings from her side, it’s still dating. She was about to enrol herself into a relationship with her best friend. A devoted, romantic, serious relationship. With her best friend.
Her accidental crush turned into an accidental girlfriend quicker than she’d ever thought.
“It’ll be fun,” Miyeon reassured her, most likely seeing the slight panic in Minnie’s eyes.
Now, Minnie was at a crossroads. Her mind was very firmly telling her that this was the worst idea ever, and she would for sure end up hurt by the end when Miyeon decides that this isn’t for her. But her heart was telling her to go for it, because when else would she get the chance to date someone as amazing as Miyeon?
Her heart made a cartwheel when Minnie decided to listen to it.
“Okay,” she said. “We’ll date. We’ll date for a month and see how we feel.”
Miyeon’s mouth spread out into a wide smile before she threw herself over Minnie, pulling her into a tight hug.
***
Dating a friend is completely normal, Minnie convinced herself. They were young and maybe slightly dumb, and they needed dating experience. And as Miyeon had said, they were basically dating already. Just without the in love-part.
Everything was completely normal.
“Normal?” Yuqi nearly screamed while Shuhua just giggled. “Minnie, tell me what part of this is normal.”
The younger member had shot up from the studio couch, startling Minnie, who half-sat half-laid beside, now below, her.
“Friends don’t just go dating each other!” Yuqi exclaimed. “That’s, like, the absolute dumbest way to ruin a friendship!”
Shuhua, who was on the other side of Minnie, put her hand on her shoulder. She was still barely awake from her nap, but she managed to slur out her words.
“At least you confessed first, so she knows what she’s getting you both into,” the youngest woman said. “Maybe she already likes you.”
“Shuhua you’re not telling me you support this?” Yuqi agitatedly threw her arms around her. “Friends don’t date! We don’t date within the group! We shouldn’t even date within the industry!”
“We don’t date within the group?” Minnie questioned, side eyeing Shuhua who raised her eyebrows.
Yuqi rolled her eyes.
“Okay, that’s another thing!” she protested. “Anyway, my point is, the two of you are complete idiots!”
The Chinese idol threw herself down on the couch next to Minnie, sighed before she started to massage her temples.
“You made that point clear,” Minnie muttered with a pout, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I don’t support this,” Shuhua added slowly, “but at least you get to date your crush.”
“And get your heart even more broken when this month ends,” Yuqi added.
Minnie sighed. She had known when she agreed that this wasn’t the smartest thing she’d ever done, but Shuhua had a point. At least she got to go out with her crush. Maybe that will have been worth it at the end, no matter how many bits her heart gets broken into.
She covered her face with her hands, trying to hide from the two youngest members. Trying to hide from the world.
“So, what’s the plan?” Shuhua asked after some minutes. “You’re just gonna go on dates and stuff?”
“We’re going to Gyeongdong Market later today,” Minnie said, her voice muffled by her hands. “On a date,” she added, because those were the words Miyeon used when she brought up the idea.
“Do you have rules or anything?” the youngest woman asked.
“Rules?” Minnie frowned as she looked over at her. Her head turned quickly right after, as Yuqi had punched her shoulder. “Ouch!”
“You need rules!” Yuqi nearly screamed, again. “Like, boundaries!”
Minnie lifted an eyebrow as she massaged her shoulder.
“Ugh!” Yuqi punched Minnie’s shoulder again, owning a whine in return. “Like, are you gonna hold hands? Are you gonna kiss? Are you gonna do something more?”
“What?” Minnie asked a little too loudly.
She felt how her blood flowed up to her face, heating her up. Biting her lower lip, she then continued:
“We haven’t talked about that…” she mumbled.
Yuqi snorted and Shuhua chuckled.
“You should,” the youngest voiced.
***
Gyeongdong Market was a twenty minute drive away. Miyeon’s driving skills were equivalent to a child’s, so there was not a single chance Minnie would let her behind the steering wheel. But she didn’t want to ask a manager to drive them, because she couldn’t force them to stay in the car, and it was supposed to be a date, so the manager couldn’t come with them either. That left Minnie no other choice but to drive them herself.
Miyeon’s father had kindly let them borrow his car, a gray Hyundai Grandeur. Minnie had felt cool as she sat down in the driver’s seat, and even more so when she turned the key to start the engine.
While the older woman had a straw between her lips and a cub of store-bought iced americano in her hand, Minnie made a point to keep her hands on the steering wheel and her eyes on the road. She’d only gotten her driver’s license recently, and if she had to be honest, she really shouldn’t have passed. She had barely studied and she had only practiced driving a few times. But, here she was, sitting behind the wheel in a Hyundai on the highway.
“Next exit is yours,” Miyeon said while staring at the map on her phone.
Minnie nodded, struggling to find the blinkers but trying hard to hide it, and steered the car to the exit.
“You look really hot while driving,” Miyeon voiced beside her, causing Minnie to feel a slight panic and a blush on her cheeks.
They’d been alone many times before. Miyeon was the member Minnie had spent the most time alone with, despite her having lived with Soyeon and Yuqi for several years. But it had never felt like it did right now. Hot and tight and stressed. Minnie was sure she was the only one who felt it, as Miyeon sat unbothered beside her. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Minnie had very little knowledge of how to drive the car the two of them were sitting in.
Everything just got worse when Miyeon’s hand landed on her thigh. Minnie nearly jumped out of the car, but managed to stop herself before doing so, luckily. Miyeon kept it there for the rest of the drive, except for when she took sips from her drink.
The radio played pop songs as they got closer and closer to the market. In the end, Minnie managed to get them there safely, and even parked the car very smoothly, if you asked her.
Gyeongdong Market looked like any other Korean market. With a glass roof sheltering it from rain, stone floor that hadn’t been cleaned since the market opened, stands on both sides, crammed with boxes of fruit, different seafoods, noodles and vegetables, and bags of herbs, beans and rice. Everything being sold were in season, all apples crispy while the oranges were juicy. Minnie’s mouth watered as the two walked down the isles.
Miyeon’s hand held tightly on Minnie’s upper arm, as the older woman smiled and nodded towards nearly everyone they passed. They both had masks and caps to hide, so Miyeon’s courtesy was just her being sweet and kind.
Minnie liked that side of her a lot. Her pure side. The side that couldn’t understand things like lying, disloyalty and harmfulness. The side that nearly cried at the mention of war, starvation and poverty. The undisturbed side that believed every human is as good as the other. Minnie, who’d been brought up around starvation and poverty, knew that no human was even nearly as good, and would never be as good, as Miyeon was.
When they turned around the corner, they found an ice cream stand. The older woman had pulled at the other’s arm, and Minnie was scared of what Miyeon would do if she didn’t agree to buy her ice cream.
So, they ended up around a small table on the side of the stand, two plastic chairs belonging to it.
Miyeon was taking selfies of herself with her ice cream, smiling while holding her green sweet towards the screen. Then, she shifted closer to Minnie, angling the phone so they both could be seen on the screen. Minnie posed with her own strawberry ice cream, smiling towards it and then towards the screen. She thought they were done, but then she felt Miyeon’s cold, sticky lips on her chin. Luckily, she managed to hide her shock with a smile.
Minnie didn’t comment on it, just cleared her throat and put her wooden spoon in her mouth. Miyeon grinned before taking a bite of her own pistachio.
Deciding this was the right time to bring it up, Minnie pulled her chair just a little closer to Miyeon.
“I talked to Yuqi and Shuhua earlier,” Minnie looked around her before continuing in a quiet voice, “About us.”
Miyeon smiled faintly, nodding for the other to go on.
“They thought we’re doing something stupid.”
Rolling her eyes, Miyeon took a spoonful of her ice cream.
“Of course they did,” she clicked her tongue. “But they don’t know us like we do. We’re not doing something stupid. I promise you.”
Minnie nodded, and somewhere in her heart, she felt like that assured her enough to throw away her doubts about whether Yuqi was right or not. At least for now, she could forget her doubts and enjoy their date. That’s why she continued rather easily.
“We should talk about boundaries,” Minnie voiced, scraping her spoon against the side of her cup.
The eyebrows on Miyeon’s face raised, before falling back down as she nodded.
“Yeah,” she said. “We probably should.”
Minnie felt a little uneasy at the way Miyeon’s mouth formed into a pout. She couldn’t figure out why it would do that. Why Miyeon suddenly looked upset. Maybe disappointed?
“So…” she swallowed. “What do you think… about… that?”
She hadn’t set any boundaries yet, because she knew the two of them would have to do it together, but she had a vague idea of what she was comfortable with. But what if Miyeon wanted more? Or less? Maybe she didn’t want anything at all? But they were supposed to be dating, so that has to mean something.
“Well,” Miyeon had been staring at her cup until she looked up with the next sentence. “We said we’re dating. What would you do with someone you’re dating?”
The question was far too open for Minnie’s liking. Miyeon was a touchy person, so there was a high chance that Minnie’s boundaries would sound lame to her. Miyeon also had a lot of integrity, so the chances of Minnie’s boundaries being too ambitious were just as high.
“Uhm…” she started awkwardly. “Maybe… hug? Hold hands?”
Miyeon’s lips spread out into a smile, and she even chuckled. It wasn’t the teasing kind however, so Minnie took it as a win.
“I definitely agree with that,” Miyeon nodded. “How about kissing?”
The question had come out so casually that Minnie wondered if Miyeon even had meant what she said.
But while her own eyes widened, Miyeon just continued smiling towards her.
“What?” she asked after an eternity of silence.
The older woman chuckled again.
“I like to kiss my partner every now and then,” she said flirtatiously by lower her chin and moving her eyebrows. Minnie didn’t have time to understand what was happening, before she felt the cold lips on her again, but this time against her own lips. Miyeon leaned back as quickly as she leaned in. “Why are you acting like we’ve never done that before?”
Minnie, who was left hot, red and worried that someone had seen them, was speechless.
It was true, they had kissed before. More than once. Minnie actually had no idea of how many times they’d kissed. It always happened late at night, often in a dark room, with a whole lot of alcohol in both of their systems.
“We were drunk,” Minnie whispered while looking around. She eased her shoulders slightly when she found that no one had seen them. “It’s not the same.”
“You’re so uptight sometimes,” Miyeon shook her head. “Kissing, yes or no?”
She swallowed. Answering yes would admit that she liked it. But, she had already confessed, which meant that Miyeon already knew that she liked it. Or at least she could assume such.
Minnie got slightly annoyed at herself for always overthinking. She scrunched her nose, exhaled, and hoped that her overanalysing tendencies would leave her body with the carbon dioxide.
“Yes,” she then nodded.
Miyeon smiled triumphantly, before she turned her head and let her eyes roam around the area. When she saw that no one was passing, she quickly turned back to Minnie and leaned in for another peck. The Thai woman managed to respond to it this time, pouting her lips against Miyeon and nearly cupping her chin, before the older woman leaned back again.
When their eyes met, their lips spread out into a smile. Minnie was still blushing, but Miyeon seemed to find it adorable as her smile widened even more.
After at least a minute of just staring, both of them took a spoonful of their respective ice creams.
“How about sharing a bed?” Miyeon asked.
“Sure,” Minnie nodded. “I’d like that. Cuddling?”
“Of course! Double dates?”
“Hmm… yes, but only with our members, Mina and Sana.”
“Okay… What about flirting with others?”
Again, Miyeon had asked it casually. Minnie was a little taken aback, but then she remembered that she was the only one with feelings in this fake relationship. That, naturally, meant Miyeon wouldn’t feel jealous if Minnie flirted with someone else. Minnie, on the other, would very much care. But this wasn’t real dating, so Minnie couldn’t claim Miyeon as she’d like.
“I-I mean…” she stuttered. “You can do whatever you want but I’d prefer if you didn’t.. You know, since were dating…”
Miyeon giggled yet again, and Minnie could see how she tried to hide the redness creeping up her cheeks by taking a bite of her ice cream.
“I’m not gonna flirt with anyone else,” she declared into her cup. “You’re all I need.”
The last sentence was said quietly, almost quiet enough for Minnie to question if it even was meant for her ears to hear. But, she had heard it, and it made her happy.
They soon had to head back home, mostly because Miyeon’s father needed the car after work, but also because tomorrow was a day smacked with vocal and dance practice. They would both be needing energy for it.
Yuqi had already gone to bed when they reached the dorm. Weird for a hyperactive person like her, but she had woken up early to work on a song, so the rest was surely much needed.
After eating some leftover rice and spam, the two decided it was time for them to go sleep as well.
Their apartment had two bathroom. One was by the hallway to Yuqi and Miyeon’s bedrooms, the other one was by the entry door, next door to Minnie’s bedroom. Her roommates had kindly let her have the biggest room in the new apartment as she’d been forced to live in a shoebox-sized room for years. Minnie always used the bathroom by her door, while the other two used the other bathroom. That’s why Minnie was surprised when she saw Miyeon in a tank top and pyjama shorts strutting into her bathroom with her makeup bag and toothbrush.
Minnie was in the middle of scrubbing her teeth, so she couldn’t give Miyeon more than a raised eyebrow to question her.
“We said we would sleep together,” she shrugged. “It’s more practical that I keep my stuff here.”
It seemed logical to Minnie, so she nodded. She’d almost been finished when Miyeon entered, so she ended up being the first to get into bed.
Her two pillows were stacked on each other, but Minnie moved the bottom one to the other side of the bed, giving Miyeon a place to sleep. For a second she regretted that she hadn’t changed her sheets more recently. Luckily, Miyeon didn’t say anything about it as she laid down. Minnie hoped that meant she didn’t notice it.
Minnie couldn’t help but feel slightly awkward. This wasn’t their first time sharing a bed, of course, but it was different now that they were dating. Minnie wondered if she was supposed to make a move towards something, but she didn’t really know what that something would be.
She decided to play it safe, and stayed on her phone until Miyeon put hers away. The older woman had turned her back towards her, which calmed Minnie.
After plugging her phone in, Minnie turned off the light, leaving the room pitch black.
It was silent. So silent Minnie was scared to move as she thought Miyeon already had fallen asleep, and would wake up if Minnie made the slightest movement. It made no sense though, because Miyeon could sleep through an earthquake.
Minnie was surprised when she heard shuffling on the other side.
“Minnie,” left Miyeon’s mouth in a whisper.
“Hm?”
“Spoon me.”
Minnie found herself smiling before she scooted closer. She put her arm around Miyeon, letting her hand land on the other’s. Miyeon quickly scooted closer, until their bodies were pressed against each other.
The older woman sighed.
“I like your arms around me,” she said.
Minnie blinked. She had to stop herself from squeezing Miyeon even harder.
“I like holding you,” she said before pressing her lips on the back of Miyeon’s neck.
The both of them soon fell asleep in the comfort of each other’s presence.
***
They got a day off training at the end of the week. Minnie had spent the morning working on a song, which she’d sent to the company as soon as she’d finished it. It was supposed to be finished four days ago, but Minnie was busy in Gyeongdong Market with Miyeon. And although she wouldn’t admit it, she’d completely forgotten about her deadline.
Between eating (with Miyeon), cuddling (with Miyeon) and just chatting (with Miyeon), she’d used the last few days to write. She would have to admit that it wasn’t her best work, but she could always touch up on it if it became something.
But overall, it wasn’t much different from usual.
The afternoon was spent on the couch with Miyeon, at least until Miyeon picked up a call. She soon got back down on the couch, as the person who called ended up being Sana. They were currently face-timing, and Minnie could spot Mina on the phone behind Sana.
Apparently, Miyeon had decided this was the best moment to break the news to them. It surprised Minnie that Miyeon hadn’t mentioned how this was fake dating, leaving Sana to gasp on her side of the line.
“You two are dating?” Mina asked, the disbelief clear in her voice.
“We’re trying it out,” Miyeon smiled. “We went on our first date this week.”
“I didn’t know you liked each other,” Sana frowned, clearly upset over the fact that Miyeon had forgot to tell her such a big part of her life.
“We’re just trying it out,” the Korean repeated. “We’ll see where it leads us.”
She looked over at Minnie as she said the last sentence. Minnie was wide eyed on her side of the couch. Then, Miyeon pulled on her arm so Minnie would appear on screen for their friends.
“Mhm,” Sana said tight-lipped. “So, how did it happen?”
Miyeon sighed comically at her friend. Minnie managed to lock eyes with Mina, who raised her eyebrows. Minnie rolled her eyes.
“We just talked about it and I asked her if she’d like to try dating me,” the Korean explained.
Sana shook her head on her side.
“Right…” she mumbled.
“I think you two make a cute couple,” a third voice was heard from somewhere Miyeon nor Minnie could see. However, they could both easily tell who it was.
“Thank you, Dahyun,” Miyeon smiled, locking eyes with Minnie who grinned.
Mina ended the phone call soon enough, and Miyeon pouted as she told Minnie how much nagging she would have to hear from Sana the upcoming month, just because she didn’t tell her sooner. Minnie patted her shoulder in sympathy.
Half an hour later, a drama played on the TV while they both lazily watched. Minnie’s legs rested on the coffee table, and Miyeon’s on top of hers.
One of her hands was stolen by Miyeon, the older woman playing with her fingers. She pushed her fingers against each other, bent them back and forth, compared them with her own, drew her finger over the nail design. Minnie was comfortable with her hand in Miyeon’s, so she let the other do as she wished.
She used her other hand to stuff popcorn into her mouth, a motion she did unconsciously.
While the lead actress investigated a crime scene on the screen, Minnie’s eyes shifted to Miyeon. The older woman was still playing with her fingers, while fully invested in the drama.
Minnie grabbed a popcorn with her free hand and reached towards Miyeon, waiting until the other opened her mouth to plop it inside. Minnie continued doing the same every time she snacked herself, getting chills every time her fingers touched Miyeon’s lips.
One of the times Minnie fed Miyeon, the older woman closed her mouth too quickly, so her mouth enveloped Minnie’s ring finger. What surprised them both was that none of them made a motion to get it out.
When their eyes met, Minnie felt her heart beat a little faster. Then, she got goosebumps when Miyeon’s tongue moved over her finger. The Korean’s eyes were dark and suggestive, and Minnie had no idea how to respond to the situation. She ended up pulling her finger out, blushing while she turned her eyes back to the screen.
The Thai woman tried not to focus on how Miyeon moved her own fingers over and around Minnie’s, failing miserably to do so when Miyeon placed both their hands around her own thigh, her hand on top of Minnie’s so she couldn’t shift away. She started to gently brush her fingertips on the back of Minnie’s hand, and kept doing so until they’d finished the first season.
***
Their schedule continued being packed with practices, but Miyeon and Minnie still found time for each other. The fact that they lived at the same apartment made it much easier.
Miyeon had just gotten home from a work out when Minnie gave her company in the kitchen, her excuse being to throw away an empty bag of snacks.
Minnie chewed on the last cracker as she watched Miyeon’s wet and soapy hand swiping back and forth on the plate she was holding. Her white shirt was rolled up over her elbows and her hair in a loose bun, to keep it away from her face. She used the upper part of her revealed skin to dry away some sweat from her forehead. Minnie could see how it glimmered on her neck. A few veins were visible on the side of her neck, pumping blood up to her head. Minnie could almost see when they pushed the blood.
She swallowed down the cracker harshly as she felt her cheeks heating up. The want to touch and feel was almost overwhelming, and so sudden that her eyebrows shot up on her forehead.
Miyeon’s white shirt was fitted tightly to her body, showing off her small waist. Her bra straps peaked in the back, moving slightly while Miyeon scrubbed.
Minnie let her eyes drift down to her ass. It was there and they were dating, so why not? It’s not like someone could blame her for checking out her girlfriend, even if it was just a girlfriend on predetermined time. And Miyeon still wore her black tights from training, which tightly hugged her legs, so Minnie wouldn’t have been able to stop herself from looking even if she wanted to.
While Miyeon continued with the dishes, Minnie slowly made her way towards her. Miyeon’s breathing hitched when she noticed Minnie over her shoulder, but she didn’t stop doing her task. The younger woman placed one hand on her lower belly, while the other dragged over the skin on her neck.
Minnie noticed how goosebumps appeared, so she naturally continued her ministration. She put a little more pressure as she drew her fingertips, while opening her mouth to let her warm breath bounce against Miyeon’s skin. She then leaned in, pressing her lips against the other. Miyeon’s hands had stilled when Minnie pulled away, but only to hover over her skin. She licked her lips, tasting salt, before lowering her lips again.
Miyeon was breathing heavily while Minnie kissed from her shoulder to just below her ear. Then, the younger woman nuzzled her nose into Miyeon’s hair and sniffled quietly. Miyeon’s flowery scent entered her nose and made its way down to her heart.
She barely even noticed when her hand sneaked in under Miyeon’s shirt, landing on her naked belly.
“Minnie,” the older woman breathed.
Using her free hand, Minnie pushed at Miyeon’s chin, a silent request for the other to tilt her head and give her more space.
When Miyeon did, Minnie immediately latched her lips onto her skin. She licked and sucked everywhere she could reach, but she soon got hungry for more. More of Miyeon.
Moving her hands to Miyeon’s hip, she turned the older woman around. Their faces ended up only inches apart, and Minnie knew Miyeon could see the fire in her eyes, because she quickly opened her lips, inviting her. So Minnie did what any sane person would do; she brought her lips to the other.
She didn’t care about being calm and gentle. She’d already give Miyeon that version of herself. Right now, she was too determined to clench her thirst. So instead, she pushed her tongue into Miyeon’s mouth, letting it dance against the other’s.
Miyeon’s arms wrapped around her neck, loose enough so the dirty water wouldn’t get on her. Minnie used it to her advantage as she lifted Miyeon up and placed her on the edge of counter, letting the other pull her closer by placing her legs around her.
The kiss first broke when Minnie lifted Miyeon’s shirt over her head. She saw how quickly Miyeon breathed, smiling to herself. Miyeon didn’t let her look at her sports bra covered chest for a long time, as she pulled her back to her lips. With her hands on Miyeon’s hips, Minnie brought her even closer to herself, until their bodies were pressed against each other.
Her fingers squeezed the skin while she started trailing kisses from the side of Miyeon’s lip, over her cheekbone, down her neck and to her upper chest. She was just about to grip onto the sports bra, pull it over Miyeon’s head, when the front door opened.
Minnie nearly threw herself against the other counter, back to the place she was before, while Miyeon quickly jumped down and put her hands back into the, now slightly colder, dish water. A content smile spread on Minnie’s face when she saw the redness of Miyeon’s neck and how quickly her shoulders moved up and down.
“I’m back!” Yuqi’s loud voice soon filled the apartment. “I just bought normal chips ‘cause I couldn’t find the seasoning you wanted, Minnie.”
The youngest entered the kitchen with a bag in her right hand, but immediately halted as she picked up on the tension in the room. Miyeon wouldn’t look up from the sink, so Yuqi’s eyebrows raised when her eyes met Minnie’s. The Thai only smirked, leaving Yuqi confused.
“Did I disturb something?” she asked, slowly placing the plastic bag down on the counter.
Neither Minnie nor Miyeon answered, but Miyeon blushed madly. Yuqi could come to her own conclusion after the oldest woman changed colour.
“You didn’t-“ she cut herself off with a gasp. Yuqi then pointed her finger towards the two of them, frowning. “You didn’t have sex in the kitchen, right? Because that’s not hygienic. I actually eat here.”
“No!” Miyeon protested loudly while Minnie chuckled.
“Relax,” the Thai grinned. “We didn’t have sex in the kitchen.”
She decided to leave the crime scene, sneakily brushing her hand over Miyeon’s ass on her way out. Minnie chuckled as she heard Yuqi scream, asking why Miyeon’s was shirt laying on the floor.
Minnie had decided to take a cold shower, just to calm herself. She’d gotten back into her sweatpants and sweatshirt fifteen minutes later. That was also enough time for Miyeon to finish the dishes, which she’d done despite Yuqi’s never ending complaints about their carelessness and unhygienic behaviour.
The older woman had managed to sneak away from her, but only when Yuqi got too invested in the drama playing on the TV. Miyeon had also showered and changed into sweats before she entered Minnie’s room, quietly closing the door behind her. She’d been quiet enough that Minnie hadn’t noticed her arrival, until she felt a hand on her shoulder.
Minnie, who’d been on social media to talk to fans, lifted her head to Miyeon, barely even registering who it was before she felt a pair of lips on her own. She immediately smiled, deepening the kiss as she placed her hand on Miyeon’s cheek.
When they detached from each other, they were both grinning. Minnie felt her heart warm up as she saw the glimmer in Miyeon’s eyes.
“What was that for?” she asked quietly, her breath hitting Miyeon’s lips.
The older woman only shrugged, before she put her hand on Minnie’s arm. She gently squeezed the skin, nearly giving Minnie goosebumps, before she used her thumb and pointy finger to pinch her.
“Ouch!” Minnie let out as she pulled her arm towards herself. “What was that for?”
Miyeon stood up straight, walking to the other side of the bed.
“For leaving me alone with Yuqi,” she said and scoffed. “Thanks for that, by the way. I was horny, embarrassed and I had to answer to Yuqi’s every complaint. I’m not letting you get away with that.”
Minnie laughed. She quickly apologised after receiving Miyeon’s glare.
The older woman sat down and started swiping through her phone. She had placed a pillow in her lap to rest her arms on, but Minnie thought it was the perfect place for her head. While the other rested against the wall, Minnie scooted towards her and laid down in her lap, which Miyeon let her do, but not without rolling her eyes.
They rested in silence, Miyeon focused on her phone while Minnie studied her face. Her cheeks were a little flushed still, but that could also have been from the sun. Her skin was fair and soft, and her nose as pretty as ever. Minnie couldn’t help but trace her thumb over it.
“What are you doing?” Miyeon asked while putting her phone to the side, as she suddenly had a hand in her face.
Minnie didn’t answer her, instead let her thumb trace down over her philtrum, only stopping when her thumb met her lower lip. She looked as Miyeon’s mouth opened, then continued moving her thumb downwards slowly, having the lip follow her until Miyeon’s gums were visible. Her thumb then landed on Miyeon’s chin, letting go of the lip. She let it stay there.
Their eyes met for a second, before Miyeon leaned down and gave Minnie a chaste kiss. Minnie smiled as Miyeon moved away, while the older woman smiled behind her screen.
Minnie was happy like this, resting in Miyeon’s comfortable lap, listening to her quiet breathing. She had closed her eyes long ago, letting herself just enjoy the feelings blooming all around her body. When Miyeon’s hand started messaging her damp hair, Minnie found it hard not to drift into an unconscious state.
***
“Good job girls!” the dance teacher clapped after turning the music off. “Take five!”
Yuqi fell down to the floor, looking unconscious as the others walked over her. Shuhua, despite exhausted, hurried away to her phone to answer messages. Soyeon also grabbed her phone, but went on social media.
Minnie’s eyes had been locked on Miyeon for awhile. She couldn’t help it. Her girlfriend just looked so good when focused. The other woman had noticed her several times, meeting Minnie’s gaze before smiling and teasingly rolling her eyes.
That’s why neither of them were surprised when they made their way towards each other immediately after the teacher had left the room.
Minnie wasn’t much for public display of affection, but Miyeon had already put her arms around her neck, so it was only natural if Minnie placed hers on Miyeon’s hips.
“You’re hot,” Minnie mouthed so none of the members would hear her. She owned a one sided smile from Miyeon, and a chaste kiss on her lips.
“Gross!” Shuhua nearly screamed from the leather couch.
“Get a room!” Yuqi grunted on the floor.
The oldest two rolled their eyes while smiling towards each other. They shared another peck before Minnie grabbed Miyeon’s hand and walked the two of them over to the couch. Right when they sat down, Miyeon started massaging Minnie’s shoulders.
“Shouldn’t you do something about this?” Yuqi asked their leader, who just rolled her eyes.
“Let us be!” Minnie protested while crossing her arms.
“Straighten your back,” Miyeon said into her ear.
“What?” Yuqi got up from the floor. “What if you end up hating each other by the end of this? What do we do about that?”
“You were never this pessimistic about Shuhua and Soojin,” Miyeon clicked her tongue.
“Because they’re Shuhua and Soojin!” Yuqi protested. “You two are Miyeon and Minnie. You argue more than anyone else I know. And you’re not even in love. You’re just gonna end up wishing you’d listened to me.”
Yuqi grabbed a jelly from the table and chewed on it loudly as she sat down beside Shuhua.
“We’ll see about that,” Miyeon said while pushing against a knot in Minnie’s back.
“At least stop with whatever this is,” the Chinese woman motioned towards them. “Finding you in the kitchen was enough. I don’t need to be constantly reminded.”
Minnie teasingly let out her tongue towards Yuqi, to which the younger woman scoffed.
“Straighten your back, Minnie!”
***
Another song was finished in Minnie’s studio. She felt confident about this one. If it fit the concept and if Soyeon liked it, she was sure it would be included in their next album. She really hoped so. The last few days had been spent in her studio, writing lyrics, recording the track and working on the melody. She’d only left it to go home and sleep.
Miyeon stopped by each day, either with food or just to spend some time together. This day she’d promised to come by with fried chicken since Minnie had been craving it lately.
At eight PM, right after Minnie sent the file over to a staff member, Miyeon entered the studio in a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants.
“Your favourite person is here!” she said in a loud voice as she showed of the bag of food.
“My favourite person?” Minnie questioned while turning around in her chair. She tried to tease the older woman, but her wide smile ruined it.
“And I’ve got your chicken!”
Miyeon placed the bag down next to Minnie’s keyboard on her desk. Then, she leaned down and pressed a kiss against Minnie’s lips. Minnie put her hand on her chin to make her stay a little longer.
“I missed you today,” the Thai woman voiced when they finally separated.
“Lucky for you,” Miyeon brushed some hair out of Minnie’s face, “I plan on staying here for awhile.”
Their lips met once more before the older woman started unpacking the bag.
They ate together on the couch, talking about Minnie’s new song and what Miyeon had been doing all day. Minnie gasped when Miyeon revealed that she’d been sleeping until the afternoon, then watched a show before she showed up at the company.
Minnie soon returned to her computer while Miyeon stayed on the couch, looking through her phone.
The silence between them was so comfortable nowadays. Minnie could compare it to a boat on a calm sea, or a highway in the middle of the night. It wasn’t eerie or even slightly scary. It was just comfortable.
So comfortable that Minnie found herself over and over again, forgetting about the deal they made three weeks ago. Everything just seemed so normal like this. Like this was exactly how they were meant to be.
The silence was disturbed when the door shot open and Yuqi came crashing in with her hand over her eyes.
“Stop having sex!” she screamed.
Miyeon and Minnie exchanged a look before the older woman clicked her tongue.
“We’re having sex?” she asked teasingly. “Aw, Minnie you should’ve told me! I would’ve put my phone down.”
Minnie chuckled.
Yuqi had lowered her arm by now, instead having it crossed over her chest. With a frown on her face, she asked:
“Are you two coming back to the dorm with me?” her eyes traveled between the two. “I managed to get our manager to drive us.”
Minnie, who’d just started working on some new lyrics, shook her head. Her eyes drifted to Miyeon, who was standing up from the couch.
“I’ll go with you,” the oldest woman said. “I want to sleep, anyway.”
Feeling a little disappointed, Minnie pouted.
“Are you tired? You just slept all day!”
Miyeon chuckled as she gathered her things and the trash from dinner.
“I need my beauty sleep”, she shrugged.
“Hurry!” Yuqi called behind her as she left the room.
Minnie kept pouting, looking at Miyeon’s every move, hoping that it would make her stay. When the older woman finally spotted her, she smiled lovingly and chuckled.
Miyeon made her way towards Minnie, intertwined their fingers and pulled her up from her chair.
“I’ll see you back at the dorm,” she said while squeezing her hands. She then erased Minnie’s pout with her lips.
When she tried to pull away, Minnie didn’t want to let her go. Miyeon had to manually push Minnie away with her hands so she could get to the car without Yuqi screaming at her.
“Don’t wait up,” Minnie mumbled grumpily as she sat down in her chair.
She felt Miyeon’s fingers in her hair as the older woman said:
“I’m not falling asleep without you. Hurry back home.”
When Miyeon left, Minnie felt a smile tugging on her lips. Lucky, was all that she felt. Lucky that she had a person like Miyeon by her side. Lucky that Miyeon was hers.
***
After Sana had spent a week nagging Miyeon every chance she got, she’d set up a double date, or rather, triple date. With Twice’s schedule being busy as usual, and Idle getting close to a comeback, a time that fit all the couples was hard to find. But in the end, they’d managed to find a date.
They’d decided it would be easiest to hang out at a dorm, so Miyeon and Minnie offered theirs, as that would be most practical. Yuqi wasn’t allowed to stay at home, though.
Mina had insisted on them having a game night, so Miyeon had borrowed a pile of games from her parents. While Miyeon had gathered the games, Minnie had gone shopping for snacks. She knew Dahyun loved chocolate while Chaeyoung loved strawberries, and she intended to impress them after the misfortunate event last time they hung out. She also bought some chips, popcorn, jellies and a few packs of ramen, just to be safe. And for drinks, she got wine, soju and beer, because she didn’t know what the younger two would prefer.
They arrived in the afternoon, just a few minutes after Miyeon had gotten home.
Thirty minutes into monopoly, which seemed to be a never ending game, Minnie started sensing the alcohol kick in. They laughed a little louder, talked a little more and the game got a whole lot messier. By the end of, no one other than Mina had a clue of what was going on. Apparently Mina and Chaeyoung won.
They switched to a couple game after. The rules were simple: answer the question about your partner correctly, and if you’re wrong, you have to take a shot.
Minnie knew Miyeon inside and out, so she was confident this was going to be easy. Maybe it was her alcohol brain affecting her, but she seemed to forget that the couples they were competing against actually were real couples.
“Okay Sana,” Chaeyoung started as she held a rectangular card in her hand. “Where did you two meet?”
“Too easy!” Minnie complained.
“They get harder as we go!” Mina let out.
As Minnie grumbled, Miyeon tried to settle her by putting her arm around her shoulders.
“At the company,” she smiled, looking at Dahyun who nodded.
“Boring,” Minnie mumbled.
Sana was up next.
“What is Miyeon’s favourite colour?” she read. “Oh, I know this!” Dahyun put her hand over Sana’s mouth before she had the time to say it.
“Green,” Minnie said, confidently.
“Yup,” Miyeon nodded.
They shared a quick look, before Miyeon received the cards from Dahyun. They had decided beforehand to read every question, no matter how easy, but Minnie still scoffed when she saw the next one.
“What does Chaeyoung do for work?” Minnie asked in a monotone voice.
A few of them chuckled, Mina being one of them.
“The same as me,” she said, not having to wait for Chaeyoung to agree since all of them knew it was true. “What’s Sana’s favourite dessert?”
They continued that way, the questions getting gradually more difficult. Still, the couples answered them easily. This game wasn’t made for couples who spent every wake hour together, both at work and at home. Then, finally, Chaeyoung had to think before she could answer her question.
“What she feels about her exes?” Chaeyoung repeated the question while playing with a strand of Mina’s hair. “She…”
Minnie was glad she hadn’t gotten the question, because although she knew Miyeon’s earlier relationships all had ended on good terms, she wasn’t certain of what Miyeon really felt for her exes. It made her a little jealous, thinking about the fact that Miyeon still could be in love with one of them.
“You’re neutral, right?” the youngest questioned. “You don’t like them but you don’t dislike them.”
“That’s right,” Mina nodded.
Dahyun also had to think before answering her question, ‘where does Sana see herself in five years?’
“Maybe… not much different from now,” Dahyun said, a little uncertain as she studied Sana’s eyes. “Maybe have your own apartment?”
Sana smiled and nodded, before giving Dahyun a sloppy kiss that left the others gagging.
That’s the difference between the couples. While Sana and Dahyun, as well as Mina and Chaeyoung, knew what they wanted for their future, Miyeon and Minnie hadn’t talked about it.
As friends they’d discussed how ten years from now, they would all probably be moms. However, it had never been a serious conversation. And it had mostly been built on what was expected of them, not what actually would happen to them.
So when Miyeon got the question ‘does Minnie want to get married?’, Minnie wasn’t surprised that Miyeon found it hard to answer. If Minnie had to be completely honest, she didn’t know what she wanted for her future. All of it seemed so distant right now, especially since her and Miyeon just had started dating. Even though they’d known each other for years, considering marriage was far too early. And it wasn’t even legal in either of their countries yet.
“Yes?” Miyeon asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“I don’t know,” Minnie bit her lower lip as she answered.
Miyeon was poured a shot of soju, which she downed easily now that she was too drunk to care about the taste.
The questions kept getting more difficult, but also spicier. At first it was questions like ‘how does your partner like receiving affection?’ and ‘is your partner a fan of PDA?’, but then they asked about kissing and touching, and at last, Minnie blushed when she got asked about Miyeon’s kinks.
But, as she had alcohol in her system, she confidently answered:
“I have yet to find out.”
The group teased them with ‘ooh’:s and ‘ahh’:s, and Minnie pecked Miyeon’s cheek when the older woman blushed.
Mina and Chaeyoung ended up winning this game as well, to which Sana complained that it was rigged. Miyeon and Minnie had lost by far, both of them having taken at least fifteen shots between them, but both of them just laughed it off. Maybe they didn’t know every intimate thing about each other, so what? They’d only been dating for three weeks. They had time to find out.
Long past midnight, the Twice members decided to head home, leaving Miyeon and Minnie alone with empty bowls and glasses. They both decided not to tend to it today, as both of them were too drunk to do anything sensible. Minnie got Miyeon to brush her teeth and drink a glass of water, but then they headed straight to bed. Neither of them even changed, just threw their clothes off and got into Minnie’s bed.
It wasn’t until Miyeon cuddled up against Minnie’s arm that the younger woman realised their state.
She’d kept her t-shirt on at least, but her legs were bare. Miyeon, on the other hand, only had her underwear on. At least, that was what Minnie could feel with the side of her arm.
They were lying close to each other, their faces only inches apart. If Minnie turned her head, she was sure she’d be met with Miyeon’s lips. She even felt Miyeon’s mint and alcohol breath hit her cheek.
Her heart started racing faster immediately. They’d done stuff they hadn’t done before these last couple of weeks. They’d gone on romantic dates, talked about couple stuff and kissed sober. But those were all stuff they could’ve done without their arrangement. They’d gone on non-romantic friend dates, they’d talked about everything between heaven and earth and they’d kissed several times while drunk. But this, laying almost naked next to each other in bed, was not something they’d ever done, and not something they’d ever do as friends. Minnie hadn’t even considered doing it with their current arrangements.
But now they were laying so close, and Minnie was so drunk, and Miyeon was so warm, her shampoo smelled so nice and her breath felt so good against Minnie’s skin… She couldn’t stop herself from turning her head, capturing Miyeon’s lips in hers.
Minnie was rather surprised when Miyeon gave back as much of the want Minnie gave her. It made her question if Miyeon reciprocated even just a speckle of her feelings.
The kiss soon ended up getting heated, Minnie’s tongue sheltered in Miyeon’s mouth. She turned to her side, slightly hovering above the other. One arm held her up while the other moved over Miyeon’s naked belly.
At first, Minnie gripped her hip. But when she slowly started brushing her tips upwards, she felt Miyeon shivering under her. She then placed her hand over Miyeon’s ribs, not quite ready to continue just yet.
Miyeon tasted like toothpaste and soju, which Minnie assumed she did as well. The kiss was practically just the same as their other heated kisses the last three weeks, but something about this one felt special. Maybe it was the way Minnie’s hand roamed over her body, or her position above her. There was just something that made the kiss more intense, more intimate than any of their other kisses. Something made it feel so, so real. Minnie feared that there soon would be no going back.
When Minnie’s hand hugged Miyeon’s chest, and Miyeon let out a quiet, suppressed moan, Minnie knew she was a goner.
Proud over the whimpers Miyeon let out, Minnie continued her ministration and soon let her hand head back downwards, but this time she would go even further than her hip. Minnie was intending to go all the way.
When her hand just brushed over the fabric, Minnie felt Miyeon’s hand grip her arm and her other hand gently pushing Minnie away.
Minnie, left confused and wanting, frowned. Her hand was back on Miyeon’s hip.
“What?” she asked, a few inches away from Miyeon’s face.
It took Miyeon a minute to answer. Her chest was raising quickly, her face red and a little sweaty.
“We should stop,” she then said.
“Why?” Minnie blinked. “You seemed to be liking it?”
Miyeon blushed. She brought her hand to Minnie’s face, fixing her bangs.
“I don’t want you to regret it,” she said quietly.
“I won’t,” the younger woman answered and was ready to lean in again, but was stopped.
“Another time,” Miyeon said, gripping Minnie’s chin to pull her into a chaste kiss. However, when she pulled, Minnie immediately shifted away, out of Miyeon’s hold and away from her body.
Minnie clenched her jaw as she turned until she had her back facing the other. She’d managed to drape her cover over herself, an unconscious move to hide.
“Don’t be mad,” Miyeon begged rather weakly behind her.
“I’m not mad,” Minnie said between her teeth. “I’m just confused. I don’t understand what you want from me.”
Miyeon didn’t answer for a good five minutes after that. Neither did she move. Minnie thought she’d fallen asleep, and decided she should try doing the same, despite the dagger pressing into her heart.
But then she heard the quiet, broken plea from the other side of the bed:
“Minnie, please hold me.”
She could never hate Miyeon, but in that moment, she truly disliked her. Miyeon used Minnie in one of her most sensitive states, made her do whatever she wanted. Minnie started questioning if this entire thing was just Miyeon using Minnie. For what, she didn’t know.
But then she had the older woman in her arms, and felt Miyeon use her hand to dry a tear on her cheek, so Minnie just couldn’t be mad any longer.
She tightened her grip around Miyeon’s almost naked body that only minutes ago seemed so hot, but now was nothing but fragile. Minnie kissed her ear gently, over and over again until she was sure Miyeon had fallen asleep.
***
Minnie decided that she deserved a day off after staying up all night, writing songs until sunrise for days. She’d planned to spend the day with Miyeon, but her girlfriend sadly already had plans. Minnie was a little worried it had to do with the thing after their couple game night, but she figured Miyeon would tell her if that was the case. She decided to visit Soojin together with Shuhua to get her mind off it.
She hadn’t seen Soojin in awhile, so when they sat down with the dogs in the uber, she felt excited thrills all over her body.
After half an hour driving, they ended up outside an apartment complex in Anyang. Soojin was already standing at the door, smiling and waving towards them.
The dogs ran happily towards her while Minnie payed the uber driver.
After greeting them, Minnie with a hug and Shuhua with a kiss, Soojin invited them into her family apartment. Her parents were both working while her siblings were at school, so they got the place for themselves.
It was a newly bought apartment, which was evident in the boxes still standing unpacked in the corner of the living room. The kitchen was fairly small but big enough for a table with six chairs, and all the kitchen appliances. The ongoing theme in the apartment was white and wood, very typical for a Korean home.
Minnie got a quick tour of Soojin’s bedroom; it was very similar to the one she’d had at the dorm, but a little more crowded. On her wall hung the polaroid pictures of the dogs, the members, Soojin’s family and some of her other friends. In the corner stood her dimmed light and casted a pink shadow over the room. Minnie felt a bittersweet smile creep on her lips when she saw the signed I Never Die and I Love albums on Soojin’s white dresser.
They ended up on the couch with a bowl of seaweed chips being passed between the three of them.
While Mata snored loudly from Soojin’s lap, Haku rested his face on her legs. It seemed like the members weren’t the only ones who missed her.
However, despite everything that happened, despite everything they went through, Minnie couldn’t help but feel happy about where she currently was. She had lost something huge, that is true. She did still feel like something was missing in her life. But she had gained Miyeon. She was allowed to be happy about it, and she knew that neither Soojin, nor her members, nor her fans would blame her for being happy.
After catching up, it didn’t take Soojin too long before she commented on it.
“I haven’t seen you this happy in forever,” she said while wiggling her eyebrows.
It was evident already that Shuhua had told her about her and Miyeon. Or maybe Miyeon had told her. It didn’t matter how she found out, because if the members knew, Soojin deserved to know it too.
They’d actually been constantly teased in their group chat the last three weeks, so if no one had told Soojin yet, that would surely make her aware.
“They’re all over each other all the time,” Shuhua said while stuffing her mouth. “I think Yuqi threw up the other day because of the PDA.”
Minnie rolled her eyes.
“We’re just happy!” she argued.
“Very happy,” Shuhua emphasised.
“Maybe too happy to be true?” Soojin asked, raising an eyebrow.
The question felt like a bullet in her chest. Hit her hard. Would probably leave scars.
She’d once again forgotten that the thing they had wasn’t real, not from Miyeon’s side anyway. Miyeon had no feelings for her when they started it, and would surely not have any when they ended it next week.
“It just feels so real,” Minnie mumbled, trying to smile through the pain.
“Maybe it is real?” Soojin reasoned. “Maybe her feelings have changed?”
Minnie shook her head. Why would someone as good, as beautiful, as Miyeon fall for someone like Minnie? All of Korea wanted to, not so secretly, date Miyeon. No chance Miyeon would turn an entire country down just so she could be with Minnie. And after what happened a few nights ago, Minnie was sure she was right.
“You don’t know that,” Soojin put her hand on Minnie’s shoulder. ”Don’t get sad before you know for sure. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it doesn’t go your way.”
The Thai woman sighed. She did know for sure.
“I don’t want you to end up getting hurt,” Soojin squeezed her shoulder.
Minnie had lowered her gaze, unable to look at her friends’ faces.
“Do you think I’m stupid for doing this?“ she asked.
She’d already gotten Yuqi and Shuhua’s opinion on it, but they rarely trusted Minnie with anything. Miyeon even less. Soyeon had refrained from stating her opinion, because she knew as the leader, her opinion was law, and Minnie knew that she didn’t want to influence her members like that. Therefore, Soojin’s opinion would be the most important one, the most genuine and raw one.
“You’re not stupid,” she shook her head. “You like her. Obviously, you’re gonna take every chance you get to date her. If anyone’s stupid, then it’s Miyeon. If she didn’t plan on falling in love with you too, she shouldn’t have given you this offer.”
Minnie bit her inner cheek. She didn’t want to blame Miyeon, because Miyeon was the kindest person she knew. She didn’t believe Miyeon did this to hurt her.
“If I could’ve stopped you,” Soojin continued, “I know that I would’ve.”
When no answer came from Minnie, Soojin lifted her chin with her hand and said:
“But I also know that Soyeon does everything she can to prevent bad things happening to us,” she smiled. “If she thought this was a bad idea, she would’ve stopped you guys. But she didn’t. That has to mean something, right?”
Yet another sigh escaped Minnie’s lips.
“I would talk to Miyeon if I was you,” Shuhua voiced.
“But first,” Soojin tried to lighten the mood raising her voice, “tell me about the comeback! What are you going with?”
***
Minnie hadn’t been able to get her mind off the conversation with Soojin and Shuhua. Miyeon had asked her about what was up all throughout the night, even gone as far as to question if she was sick. Minnie had just shrugged her off, smiled and lied that she was fine.
But now they were in bed, on their phones, ready to fall asleep. The only light in the room came from their blue screens and the lamp on Minnie’s bedside table.
She looked over at Miyeon, back on her phone, back on Miyeon and then on her phone again. Her mouth opened and closed several times, but she didn’t know what to say. Or rather, how to say it.
Miyeon must’ve caught on, because soon she turned her head and raised an eyebrow.
“What’s up?” she asked, lowering her phone into her lap. Minnie did the same.
She chewed on her bottom lip, looking down at her hands. Then, she saw and felt Miyeon’s hand intertwining with her own.
“What’s up?” the older woman repeated.
“What happens next weak?” she finally got out.
“What do you mean?” Miyeon frowned.
“The month is over in a few days, so what happens? With us?”
“Oh…” Miyeon turned to look down at her lap. “I don’t know… I didn’t think that far.”
Minnie sighed as she pulled her hand away from Miyeon’s, causing Miyeon’s eyes to drift to her.
“We shouldn’t have done this,” Minnie shook her head. “I like you too much. I already liked you too much when we started it. Now, I don’t want to let you go.”
Miyeon swallowed.
“Then don’t,” she said quietly.
A frown appeared on Minnie’s face.
“What?” she asked, her face turned towards the other.
“Don’t let me go.”
“Miyeon, I don’t-“
Minnie was cut off by a pair of lips on her own. Miyeon’s hand was on Minnie’s shoulder, holding her still and pushing her against herself. Their lips stayed on each other for at least a few seconds, but there were no further movements from either side. Just a long, hard kiss.
“You said you don’t understand what I want,” the older said once they’d pulled away. “This is what I want. I want you.”
Frowning, Minnie searched her face for answers. She’d heard her, but she couldn’t understand her words. It was like she’d spoken another language.
“I’m saying,” Miyeon clarified, “I want to keep dating you.”
Minnie blinked rapidly.
“You…” she started, without knowing where she was going with it. She then leaned closer to Miyeon. “Do you like me?”
A smile spread across Miyeon’s lips, and that was all Minnie needed to be sure. She smiled herself, putting her hands around Miyeon’s delicate chin.
“I might’ve accidentally fallen in love with you too,” she almost whispered.
“When?”
“That one time in the kitchen, when Yuqi walked in on us.”
Minnie raised her eyebrows.
“What?” she chuckled. “Yuqi’s scolding made you fall in love with me?”
“It wasn’t Yuqi who made me fall in love,” Miyeon rolled her eyes teasingly. “It was you. No one has ever kissed me like you did then. It was, like, impossible for me not to fall.”
Widely, Minnie smiled before she brought Miyeon to her. Another sweet kiss was shared between them.
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Minnie then asked.
She seemed to push a sensitive button, because Miyeon moved back to her side of the bed. She didn’t look at Minnie as she said:
“Do you remember when Soojin and Shuhua became official?” Miyeon asked, to which Minnie nodded with a slight frown. “The company wanted to separate them at first. Started the fake dating rumour with Soojin. Tried to discriminate Shuhua until they’d break up, or leave. Said they wouldn’t help either of them if something happened. Now look at where Soojin is. Cube didn’t do anything to protect her.”
Minnie felt her lip shaking when Miyeon said that. But she’d already cried and been mad enough about that. Her heart and mind couldn’t take another breakdown because of that.
“I don’t want anything like that happening to either one of us,” the Korean woman said in a shaky voice.
Minnie shook her head hurriedly.
“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you,” she said. “I promise.”
Miyeon smiled as a reply, but it was enough for Minnie. She smiled back at her, before she carefully asked:
“So, what now?”
The older woman seemed to think for a minute, before she put her opened hand in Minnie’s lap.
“I say, you put your hand back in mine and then we continue looking through our phones like we did five minutes ago,” she offered with a smile.
Minnie smiled back as she grabbed her hand. But, before either of them had the time to pick up their phones, Minnie pecked Miyeon.
“I like you,” she said.
“I like you too.”
Everything stayed the same after that. They stayed the same. Except, of course, with the knowledge that what the two of them had was very real.