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The war was just a few days old, yet Volodymyr Zelenskyy had already seen and experienced so much that it would be enough for several lives and people.
The soldiers who shouted, "Fuck you!" at the Russian warship. His brave, if not heroic, Ukrainians who stood up to the attacker with all their strength and tried to stop him. Many acts of humanity and kindheartedness among the population. His entire team that stayed with him even though they were all on death lists. Even people stayed by his side that he never thought would. In return, people disappeared from whom he would not have expected. Life in a bunker and the role of the war president were also part of these experiences.
Above all, he had heard many things.
Volodymyr had, at some point, stopped counting the many, many phone calls. And if Andriy wouldn't keep a log, he wouldn't remember most of them either. The exhaustion, the stress, and the trauma were simply too big.
And in early March, something else happened that he had never seen, experienced or heard.
Volodymyr was sitting with his team in the conference room of his bunker. He no longer knew how many air raid alerts he had already experienced and how many times he had to get to the bunker. Images and videos of the latest attacks flickered on the large screens while military personnel busily spoke into phones and typed on laptops. Volodymyr sat and watched all the activity. It was his only job right now, anyway. All the instructions had been given, and now all he could do was wait for new information to come in and watch the horror on the screens.
He casually glanced at Andriy as his cell phone rang. Normally, he would not react to it because three of the four cell phones rang constantly. The fact that now the fourth cell phone rang, of all things, caught Volodymyr's attention. So did Andriy's as he searched his pockets for the fourth cell phone, visibly confused and with a furrowed brow. When he finally found it, his frown deepened as he looked at the display. With a curt "Yermak?" he answered the call. Whoever was on the other end, Andriy listened to him for a while first. Other than a few "Yes." he didn't say much. For some reason, Volodymyr kept looking at him, and then he saw what he had never seen before: Andriy looked completely bewildered and surprised. Then he turned pale and stared into space with wide eyes. Now it was up to Volodymyr to frown.
"Uh ... yes ... of course ..." Andriy stammered, and his eyes darted to Volodymyr. "Yes," he said in response to something and gestured with his head to Volodymyr to follow him out of the room.
Hesitantly, Volodymyr rose and followed Andriy, who hurried ahead. Then, to Volodymyr's surprise, they walked toward his office.
"Yes, you can in just a moment ...," Andriy began again, gesturing to Volodymyr to sit at the desk. "He's in the office now and available."
Volodymyr looked at him questioningly, but Andriy gave him no indication of who he had on the phone. However, his conversation seemed to end because he took the cell phone from his ear. Before Volodymyr could ask a question, his phone rang. Not the one he usually used to make calls, but the inconspicuous little black phone that usually stood silent and somewhat lost on the edge of the desk. Few people got connected to him on this line because not many people had the number for this phone.
"Trust me, you want to take that call," Andriy remarked.
"Oh yeah?" asked Volodymyr sceptically, looking from the phone to Andriy.
"Yes," he tersely replied.
Hesitantly, Volodymyr picked up the phone.
"Am I speaking to Mister U. A. Paddington?" he heard a male voice on the other end.
Volodymyr frowned. The man spoke English. Moreover, he sounded like Boris. A Brit, then? The only difference with Boris was that the man on the phone sounded very formal.
"What?! No, this is ..."
"Mister U. A. Paddington," the man interrupted him. "I said, am I speaking to Mister U. A. Paddington?"
The wrinkle on Volodymyr's forehead deepened.
"As I was about to say, no, here's ..."
"Wonderful, sir. I'll connect you," the man interrupted him again and didn't seem to pay any attention to what Volodymyr said.
"And where to?" asked Volodymyr, confused.
"This is London calling," the man replied simply as if that explained everything. "I'll connect you."
"Wait ..." Volodymyr still said quickly, but there was already cracking in the line before he could ask who wanted to talk to him or tell the man that he was not "Mister U. A. Paddington".
While Volodymyr heard more noises, he tried to go through all the possibilities in his head and find an explanation. It could not be Boris. He didn't call with such an effort, and Andriy wouldn't have reacted like that. London ... . But who else could call him from London? Someone from the Parliament, perhaps? No, they didn't have that number. And again, Andriy would not have reacted like that. And why Mister U. A. Paddington? Why was he meant by that? U. A. ... the letters of Ukraine?!
"Mister U. A. Paddington?"
Volodymyr blinked as another male voice answered the phone. Surprisingly, this one sounded even more formal than the first voice. Volodymyr sighed deeply. Fine, then he would play along.
"Yes, I'm on the phone."
"She's already expecting you."
"She?"
But Volodymyr again received no answer, and another crackle was on the line. He looked at Andriy and saw that he was suppressing a smile. So who the hell was calling him?
"Do I want to know why I'm Mister U. A. Paddington?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Now Andriy started to grin.
"Ah, that's what they called you. How fitting!" he said with a chuckle, and it took Volodymyr a moment before the penny dropped.
"Wait a second ... because of the bear?!"
Andriy nodded, and Volodymyr rolled his eyes.
"And why not my name?"
"You'll know in a moment," Andriy replied simply, and Volodymyr sighed.
He had neither the time nor the nerve for such silly games. Finally, another crackle was on the line, and a third male voice answered.
"Am I talking to ..."
"Yes, go ahead. This is Mister U. A. Paddington," Volodymyr interrupted the man somewhat gruffly. "Who would like to speak to me?"
The man coughed genteelly.
"I am pleased to speak with you, Your Excellency," the man replied, putting special emphasis on Volodymyr's title. "You are now on a secure line. An alias will no longer be necessary," the man continued with a piqued undertone as if explaining an obvious fact to a stupid child.
"A secure line?" inquired Volodymyr. "For what?"
Of course, he did not receive an answer.
"Just a moment, sir. I'll take you to her," the man said instead.
He's taking me to her? Volodymyr raised an eyebrow and waited. This time there was no crackling, but ... . Was that a dog barking? Volodymyr's confusion increased. He didn't really hear anything for quite a while, only muffled sounds. Then he heard the sound better again. He heard voices clearly speaking English, but he couldn't understand what they were saying.
"Ma'am ... Mister Paddington is on the phone for you," he heard the man speak.
Aha, so now it was Mister Paddington again. Hadn't the man just said ...? Volodymyr's confusion increased. What was going on here? And this "Ma'am." He had heard it somewhere before...
"Thank you very much. I'll ask the gentlemen to leave me alone now," Volodymyr heard a woman answer in a muffled voice, and in the same formal English, the three men had used so far.
Then Volodymyr heard only some noises and murmuring of voices again until suddenly the man spoke into the phone.
"You are on speakerphone, and an interpreter will translate for both sides. Your Excellency, the audience is starting now."
"Thank you?!" Volodymyr only replied, but the man probably did not hear him anymore.
"A secure line, Ma'am," the man said to whomever he was handing the phone to.
Audience? Ma'am? Before Volodymyr could mentally connect all the dots and they made sense, the female voice on the phone, which he had heard muffled before, had already answered.
"Your Excellency, President Zelenskyy, I am very pleased to speak with you."
For a moment, Volodymyr was silent. On the one hand, he did not know what he could say. And perhaps it was also due to the acute lack of sleep that his brain took a very long time to understand to whom the voice belonged. For another, he was shocked. His eyes grew wide when he finally realized who he was talking to on the phone, and his mouth dropped open. Andriy grinned so widely that the corners of his mouth almost touched his ears.
No, it could not be. Impossible...
"President Zelenskyy, are you there? Brown, we seem to be having problems with the connection."
"No. Um ... I ... I ... yes. Yes, I ... am here," Volodymyr stuttered, sitting bolt upright in his chair and staring at the phone in disbelief.
"Oh, how gratifying. Apparently, there seemed to be a delay in the transmission. I am very glad to hear you," the woman's voice sounded from the phone, and Volodymyr swallowed while the interpreter translated again.
"Thank you ... uh ... your ... uh ... so ..." he began, leaving the ending open.
"Your Majesty. The form of address you are looking for is Your Royal Majesty," the Queen came to his rescue.
"Thank you," Volodymyr answered out of the moment. "I mean ... excuse me, Your Royal Highness."
"Your Royal Majesty," the Queen corrected him with a smile in her voice.
"What?"
"You said Your Highness, I said Your Majesty," she replied calmly.
"Oh. Right. Excuse me. Your Royal Majesty. I just ... wasn't expecting ... to speak with you."
Breathe, Volodymyr. Make an effort, brain.
"Well, that seems to be a common assumption. Most people, for some reason, don't expect me to talk to them, and they are all the more dismayed when I do. You would think that after so many years, word would have gotten out that I talk to people. Well, either way, you are not alone in this situation. Therefore, you are forgiven. I suspect you won't have come into contact with royal individuals much either."
"Only with the Ukrainian TV nobility," Volodymyr joked out of panic and would have liked to slap himself.
Andriy looked at him as if he had lost his mind, and for a moment, Volodymyr wondered if this could be true. Of course, in a panic situation, his brain reacted with inappropriate humour ...
"Pardon me?" the Queen inquired, clearly confused.
"I ... um ... no. I wanted to ... no. That's what I was going to say," Volodymyr replied, hearing Andriy cough emphatically. "I mean, no, Your Royal High ... Majesty."
"Well, certainly conditioned by your former profession that you have not met any real royal highnesses."
"You know about my former job?" asked Volodymyr, still trying to understand that he was actually talking to the Queen right now.
Andriy coughed again.
"Your Royal Majesty," added Volodymyr quickly.
"Well, it's pretty hard not to know about you right now, isn't it?!" the Queen joked.
The Queen joked. With him. Volodymyr was tempted to pinch himself.
"Oh, really, Your Royal Majesty?"
"After all, the whole world is talking about you right now. I must say, you have a very impressive biography. So it seems only logical that you have become president. I hope I'm not disturbing you with my call right now."
The Queen asked him ... Volodymyr Zeleskyy ... if she disturbed him. Breathe, Volodymyr, breathe.
"You could never disturb me, Your Royal Majesty."
"Well, you're a busy man these days."
"I will gladly make time for you, Your Royal Majesty."
"How exceedingly kind. Above all, it is a pleasure to be able to speak with you at all. I heard that your life and that of your family are in danger?"
"Yes, Your Royal Majesty ..." Volodymyr started to answer.
"President Zeleskyy," the Queen interrupted him then.
"Yes?"
"Please stop putting those words at the end of every sentence you say."
Volodymyr could have sworn he heard amusement in her voice.
"Very well, Your Royal ... I mean ..."
"Ma'am. If you want to use a word, it's Ma'am."
"Thank you," said Volodymyr, trying to take a breath. "I mean ..."
"I know what you meant."
Volodymyr nodded, even though the Queen could not see him, of course. He could only roughly remember his team's briefing when he and Olena had met William and Kate. Looking back, he wished now that he would remember more from back then.
"We were just talking about your family," the Queen said, getting him out of his thoughts.
"Uh ... yeah ... . I mean, yes, all of our lives are in danger. There are assassins out to get us, and they've already tried to kill me, too."
"How awful!" he heard the Queen say, and she sounded genuinely dismayed. "I hope you are safe?"
"Yes, as safe as I can be right now."
"And I hope your family is safe as well?"
"Yes, I had them moved to a secure place. Even if, unfortunately, that means I'm separated from them."
"I can sympathize with how you must feel. You are a truly brave man and a strong one too. This morning, I talked to the Duchess of Cambridge about you and your wife. You will probably know the Duchess as Kate. My William's wife. Well, anyway, we had a conversation this morning about you and your wife. Olena is her name, isn't it?"
"Yes, Ma'am, Olena. And ... very kind of you."
"Kate confirmed to me what lovely people you are. She said that your visit was a real pleasure. I think she had tea with your wife and was very impressed by her eloquence, intelligence, social commitment, and desire to help her country. And my dear William said that not even Harry is as in love with his wife as you are in love with your wife."
Volodymyr had to smile. He still remembered how terrified Olena had been before the meeting. And after the meeting, she had been convinced that she had done something wrong, they would probably never invite them again, and there would now be a diplomatic crisis. If he told this to Olena now, she would probably faint with joy.
"Thank you very much for your kind words. My wife will be delighted. She is a big fan of your family."
"I can guess which family member in particular ... "the Queen joked before discreetly clearing her throat. "Yes, please, tell her. Well, enough of the friendly banter. I'm calling for the following reason. I had a meeting with Boris this morning."
"Boris?" asked Volodymyr, confused, trying to remember for a moment which family member was called Boris.
He should probably watch "The Crown" again.
"Johnson," replied the Queen.
"Ah. I mean, of course."
Right. The prime minister met regularly with the queen.
"We had a lively conversation about your situation and country, and I fully go along with his course."
"That ... I'm glad to hear. Thank you very much for the support!" Volodymyr answered and started to smile so broadly that Andriy looked at him confused now.
"And if Mister Johnson ever has doubts, I assure you I can convince him otherwise."
"Thank you."
"He may have many flaws, but his commitment is honest," the Queen suddenly said with surprising directness, and Volodymyr didn't quite know how to answer.
But the Queen also just kept talking.
"I hope you understand that we only comment publicly on matters such as yours within a limited framework. The royal family follows a strict line when it comes to political matters. We work behind the scenes."
"Of course, but these words alone mean a lot to me," Volodymyr hastened to say. "And also the message and statements of a few days ago."
"Thank you very much. However, you will see soon that the royal family can certainly take a stand without words. The firm may remain neutral and never speak out, but we do. Publicly and behind the scenes. With and without words. Especially in a case like this. I had the unpleasant pleasure of meeting this man a few times. A very displeasing man. As you know only too well."
"You're talking about President Putin?"
"Do they still say that? President?! I had thought he had a more appropriate title by now," the Queen remarked pointedly, and Volodymyr suppressed a laugh.
"On the international level, he still has that title, as far as I know. I have met him properly only once, but I hope to meet him soon for negotiations," Volodymyr replied.
"What an optimistic view on your part."
"That I'm meeting Putin again?"
"That he is willing to negotiate and that this conflict can be resolved as a result. What I wish you from the bottom of my heart. Well, Ukrainians seem to be essentially optimistic people. Refreshing to see that the President has the same attitude," she replied before changing the subject. "Since we were just talking about Boris ... . I have instructed him to tell the parliament that we will continue to support you with weapons and money."
Volodymyr's mouth dropped open. It took him a moment to catch himself.
"No need for speechlessness, President Zelenskyy," sounded from the receiver. "And don't worry about any counter-opinions."
"Ma'am, I ... am very grateful to you for that!"
"It goes without saying that we will support you. I also urged him to think about visiting you."
"A visit?! From Johnson?!" asked Volodymyr, unable to believe what the Queen was saying.
"I think I just said that, yes," she confirmed. "He can't always hide in his Downing Street office either. Besides, he's been whining to me since the lockdown that he's put on weight. So he might as well work off the extra pounds by moving himself to Kyiv and visiting you. Just avoid a remark about that topic. Duda must have made an inappropriate comment in this regard, and since then, Boris has been terribly touchy when talking about this subject. Especially after Macron and Trudeau must have bragged about not gaining a bit of weight during the lockdown."
Volodymyr just blinked and again didn't know what to say. He was really sitting in a bunker, chatting with the Queen as if they were old friends.
Volodymyr vaguely remembered Trudeau talking about his rigorous training program at a summit. However, Volodymyr had not yet found a place in the group of leaders. He was still an outsider, and corona had only worsened that fact. Moreover, he had hardly anyone's private cell phone number, which did not help the current situation.
"By the way, of course, the firm will also get involved and help your country. Not only with financial means, but also on a humanitarian level," the Queen continued, and Volodymyr realized that his thoughts had wandered.
"This is ... Ma'am, I don't know what to say. This is wonderful! We are so grateful!"
"Well, of course. I would be very grateful to the nice young man who runs your office if he could send my office a way to contact your wife. We would like to discuss how we can support her humanitarian aid projects. I know Kate has a very keen interest in this issue. William, Harry and Meghan would also like to be involved. Oh, and tell the nice young man to let us know how we can send something to you and your family."
"I'll tell him," Volodymyr replied, looking at Andriy. "May I ask what you want to send?"
"A friend very close to me would like to delight your children in particular."
"Oh! That's very nice, Ma'am! May I ask who this friend is?"
"Paddington."
For a moment, there was silence, and Volodymyr wondered if he had just misheard.
"Excuse me?"
"Paddington. The bear. You should know him well, too."
"Uh, sure."
"You know, President Zelenskyy, I am very fond of this bear. And Paddington's friends are also friends of the Crown. And it's always been Paddington's ambition to help children in need. Like in this case, where the children are currently separated from their father because he has to save the country. Home is also something very precious to Paddington."
"That's ... I'm not sure what the correct word is. Very friendly, although it doesn't even begin to describe it," Volodymyr answered, and he was deeply touched.
"Thank you very much. Regrettably, I must end the call with this. I hope to be able to welcome you and your family to London at some point."
"We would be very pleased, Ma'am, and it has been an honour to speak with you on the phone."
"As it was my honour as well. Stay alive. The world needs you, President Zelenskyy. So does your family."
"I'm doing the best I can."
"That's what I'm assuming. Oh, and, by the way: Mister Churchill would be very impressed by you. Goodbye."
"Thank you, that means a lot. Thank you very much. Goodbye."
Then there was a click on the line, and the call ended. Volodymyr stared at the phone for a moment before slowly putting the receiver back and trying to process what had just happened.
"You do realize..." Andriy started, and Volodymyr looked at him. "Absolutely no one will believe us if we tell them that."
And Volodymyr was not sure if he believed himself that he had just talked to the Queen of England on the phone.