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It's a habit that sneaks into your life without either of you really noticing. It's when he rests his head on your thighs, eyes tired and body exhausted from the constant training and all the lessons and the scolding when he's too excited, too happy and starts to make careless, small mistakes that hold up the entire group. Your gaze on him is worried and sad because you know how much he takes criticism to heart, you know he beats himself up over it and the voices in his head - the darkness as he'd once called it - get louder, more nagging, almost suffocating. You're so similar when it comes to wanting to get things right, sometimes it scares you. Because you know how dark your own thoughts can be and you never want him to feel that way, ever.
"Sannie", you speak softly as you run your long fingers through his dark, damp hair, "Let's go to bed, hm?"
But he doesn't answer and for a moment you think he must've fallen asleep on you but his eyes aren't closed yet. Instead, they stare into the semi dark room, unfocused and with a hint of sadness you wish you could just kiss away.
"My love, my wonderful Sannie ..."
The words fall from your lips quietly and it makes him blink before turning his head towards you.
"I'm your love?"
His voice sounds small yet somewhat hopeful, like a little bit of love is going to fix everything that was wrong in the world, like a little bit of love is going to chase the demons in his mind away, banishing them so they can't be found ever again. It's like you could help him see how amazing he is. Your heart breaks a little when you realize just how much he depends on someone else to love him because somehow, he just hasn't found the right reason to love himself. There are so many, you want to tell him, so many reasons you should love yourself but deep in your heart you knew how impossible making him see that might just be.
"Yeah", the corners of your lips curl up in a small smile, "You're my love and I love you."
He hums softly before pushing his head into your hand that's still playing with his hair, like he's asking for a little bit of affection, the tiniest proof that you mean what you just said. And you give him everything that he asks from you.
