Archive of Our Own

Kageyama Tobio, crowned prince of Karasuno, first met Oikawa Tooru at the age of eight. He was pushed towards him on one of their yearly trips to Seijoh. Their families often disputed over borders, laws, trade routes, and anything else they could find to argue about truly. In order to avoid all-out war, they had diplomatic meetings annually to agree on terms for the coming year. It never truly settled the tensions but it did enough that though the royal families had been feuding for generations, there had never once been a war between their people. Oikawa, the oldest son and therefore heir to the throne just as Kageyama was to his, was none too pleased that he had been put on “babysitting duty”.

Kageyama had resented the idea that he needed to be looked after and they had spent the whole day arguing rather than playing as his parents had wished of them.

Oikawa had thought of almost every game under the sun and then demanded that Kageyama think of a few more. When he lost, he was miserable to be around. He whined and threw a fit, demanded a rematch, and whined more when Kageyama refused because he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. He was almost as miserable to be around when he won too. He bragged and crossed his arms, looked down his nose at Kageyama like he was a god, and then proceeded to lord it over his head until Kageyama won again.

The whole day had been awful, of course it had been, but when their parents came back for them they plastered smiles on their faces and pretended to play nice because that’s what they had wanted. Kageyama had never been so happy to be stuck in a carriage than when he was riding away from his first playdate of many with Oikawa.

It continued like that, year after year. They were expected to play nice and they, of course, never did. Not that their parents were any wiser about it.

As they grew older it moved from children’s games to challenges that were expected of young princes. Sometimes they crossed swords, threw javelins, rode horseback, and bragged about how many adventures they had been on with their families (which were mostly lies on both parts). What they gravitated to most was archery. They were both rather good at it, it always made for a fun challenge. There were many times where they would go for hours without a clear winner. It would go either way with the promise of a rematch the next time they met.

When they were old enough, they started seeing each other much more often than once a year. There were bi-monthly challenges for young knights and nobles alike. The host kingdom changed with every new challenge, but it was very rare that anyone but Oikawa Tooru was declared the winner of the archery challenges. Or at least it had been until Kageyama Tobio was old enough to join the tournaments himself.

The first few years it was hard to tell just who would win, but most times it still went to Oikawa. He was older, more experienced. In an odd way, Kageyama actually admired how at ease he looked landing bullseye after bullseye.

Maybe he even thought he looked a bit beautiful.

Kageyama might have been okay with coming in second to Oikawa, but his parents had never been, especially if they were hosting. Like all things in his life, it reflected on the strength of the kingdom.

So Kageyama isolated himself. He practiced and did not do much else. He practiced until he could hit the target with his eyes closed. He practiced until he could set up targets and shoot just as well moving or on horseback as he could when he stood completely still. He worked until he was precise and effortless.

Kageyama Tobio was 14 when he went up against Oikawa Tooru for the first time in a long while. He was comforted that night by his head knight, Hinata, told that he did the best he could even if he lost. His father had not as encouraging words to spew at him when he mustered up the strength to go see him.

That night, on his way out to the archery range he was pulled aside by Sugawara Koushi, a member of the court. Kageyama had blushed and stuttered through trying to say that he wasn’t interested in courting yet and Suga had just laughed at him as he grabbed his own bow and led them out to the range together.

They worked like that for a few weeks, waiting eagerly for the next tournament. Sugawara had opted out of competing. His status as a courter made his participation in something so “brutish” something that many would have looked down on. Though he promised that he would be watching from the side, there to give him strength should he so need it.

That tournament was the first of many times that he beat Oikawa and beat him well. He didn’t fly by on the skin of his teeth, no, to put it simply he’d crushed him. With every new win Oikawa grew more agitated just looking at him, but that was a small price to pay for the feeling of doing something that he loved well. It was a small price to pay for the way that the other court members finally seemed to notice him. He was finally truly a part of something that felt oddly like a friendship.

Sugawara continued to shoot with him almost every time he practiced, and Hinata was also a regular to the range, begging Kageyama to compete with him in the newest event that had been introduced to the kingdoms.

A rider would carry around hoops of different sizes, cant at different speeds and his archer would try to shoot through the hoops successfully. It took precision, it took focus, and it took a hell of a lot of trust.

Kageyama had been less than eager to compete in the silly sounding competition until he heard that Oikawa Tooru, who flaunted his dignity and title more than any prince he knew, had signed up to compete with Iwaizumi Hajime, his personal knight.

They had met a few times when they were younger. Iwaizumi had always been much kinder to Kageyama than Oikawa ever had been. He’d even gone out of his way to scold the other about it a few times, much to Kageyama’s joy. The idea of getting to see him again and not just to see him but to beat him. To prove that he was worth defending like he had. He wanted to see that smile that he would often get when he beat Oikawa when they were younger. Longed for it.

Hinata had been ecstatic when he had agreed. That feeling had faded for both of them when they realized just how hard it was to truly be on the same page.

There was a certain height that all of the hoops had to reach. Most riders could reach them by holding their arm in the air above them. Hinata was much shorter than most other riders. That became their biggest problem.

The only way that he could get the hoops to the correct height was to throw them above him. They spent days, weeks even, trying to get his throws to be precise enough that Kageyama could just aim and let it fly like it was supposed to be. They were never successful.

In the end, after weeks of fighting, compromising and failure, they figured it out. Kageyama’s skill with a bow was unparalleled. His aim was near perfect and he wasn’t any different on the move. They decided they would use his skill to their advantage. Instead of Kageyama controlling the shot by forcing Hinata to throw a certain way, Hinata himself would control the shot. He would toss the hoop high enough in whatever direction he could and Kageyama would adjust to him.

That plan took a while to master as well, but as soon as they had it down their rhythm had emerged easily. They were unstoppable.

Or so they had thought.

On the last ring of their match against Oikawa and Iwaizumi, Hinata had been unreadable to him. He had gotten so far into his own head worrying about how close they had been and trying to prove his worth once and for all to the other prince that he had missed horribly. His arrow had knocked the ring right out of the air instead of going through it.

Hinata had come to a stop, shock written clearly on his face. All eyes were on Kageyama in that moment. Hinata’s, Iwaizumi’s…Oikawa’s. He couldn't remember what happened after that. He could hear the roar of the Seijoh citizens who had come to cheer on their contenders, could hear the discontent mutters of Karasuno’s crowd. He, as if under some spell, walked himself over to shake hands with his competitors and then joined Hinata on the long journey back to the castle.

They had to stop about halfway. Kageyama had to sit and clear his eyes. They had been so very close. Instead, he was looked down on just as he always had been. Oikawa’s whole demeanor held the same air that it had when he won against Kageyama as children. It made him feel incredibly small.

Hinata hadn’t said a word. He had just stood there with a hand on his shoulder and let him gather the resolve to start the journey again.

Kageyama hadn’t expected to meet him on the range the next day, but about his third round of practice shots in, he heard the familiar sound of hoofbeats. The laughter of someone who enjoyed riding more than anyone he’d ever met.

They hadn’t spoken at all once they were aware of one another. They had started practicing like it was an instinct to do so.

The next tournament had gone much differently. Kageyama had swore that he wouldn’t let the pressure get to him this time. He swore to be a better partner for Hinata. That’s exactly what he was.

They won. It was close but Kageyama had made every shot perfectly, no mishaps or little mistakes. He’d earned full points flawlessly and Oikawa had looked absolutely crushed on the other side of the tournament grounds.

It should have felt exhilarating to finally crush him in the same way that he had been crushed so many times before, but there was a darkness to that feeling instead. There was something that made it feel wrong to celebrate his defeat so eagerly when he looked so hurt about it. Kageyama knew what that felt like.

He didn’t get to think about it long before Hinata was pulling him into a crushing hug and the cheers of his people were finally reaching his ears.

Iwaizumi had clapped him on the shoulder and shook his hand with a friendly smile. He had even exchanged a few words with Hinata that had them both laughing a little bit. Oikawa, as crushed as he had looked, had that same cocky look on his face when he shook Kageyama’s hand (a little too hard). He hadn’t said anything but he didn't need to. Kageyama understood exactly what the heat behind his eyes meant.

They weren’t done. They never would be.

Kageyama found out at the next tournament that year that Oikawa had been sent off as a ward to a kingdom far enough away that he wouldn’t be competing in the tournaments until he came back. Though he wasn’t able to find out just when that was going to be. Apparently it was to better prepare him to take the throne. Kageyama had been lucky enough that all of the cultures and kingdoms that his parents had wished for him to learn about had sent wards to them for short periods. It seemed Oikawa hadn’t been as lucky.

Hinata and Kageyama cleaned up again, in their team competition and in their own tournament events. To no one’s surprise, they continued to do so year after year.

It was only when Kageyama reached marrying age that they had to put their reign of victories behind them and finally focus on their places in the court. Hinata, his protector and closest advisor, Kageyama, the crowned prince who was finally ready to be king.

Though, there was always a little part of them both that missed it far too much. There was a tiny part of Kageyama that missed the thrill of competing against Oikawa.

—

The thing about courting was that no one told you how difficult it really was. Sure, people sang about how romantic it was or how wonderful it felt to be pampered or to pamper someone. He was taught how to do everything properly, was taught when certain activities were important and when others weren’t. On paper, Kageyama should have been successfully courted the first time that his parents had announced that they had chosen Sugawara Koushi as his betrothed.

They had enjoyed their time together, of course they had, Kageyama rather liked Suga and he was certain that Suga felt the same. It was never in the way that they needed to, however. Suga would go on for hours about a cute knight he had met at one of the tournaments. A Yaku Morisuke from Nekoma. The way that Suga looked speaking about him shattered him.

They had lasted maybe a month before Kageyama had mustered up the courage to request that Suga be transferred to Nekoma’s court to work under the guidance of their Sir Yaku. His parents had done as he pleased after he had brought forth enough diplomatic reason for breaking off their own courting.

Suga had thanked him that night with a friendly competition of archery and many tears that next morning when they were saying their goodbyes.

The next failure had come in the form of Inarizaki’s Prince Atsumu Miya. His brother was set to take the throne in their kingdom and so it was Miya’s job now to work as a chance for a diplomatic marriage.

It’s not that Kageyama hadn’t liked him, in fact, he would have been perfectly fine if they had worked out. He was much less insufferable than some of the choices his parents had begun to present to him before he had shut them down. The problem with Miya was that he reminded him far too much of someone that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Kageyama expected things of him that he couldn’t deliver, and that was not fair to either of them. He had politely declined Miya’s official proposal after months of courting and instead of disappointment he saw relief on the prince’s face.

It was only a few months after their own courting failed that Kageyama had heard news that Miya had been married off into a different royal family that had been a far more beneficial arrangement for his family. Kageyama was more than happy for him.

The third courting didn’t even last a month before Kageyama had demanded it be broken off. The king and queen had decided that there was no better way to cement that Hinata was meant to be by Kageyama’s side than in a marriage.

Afraid to be a failure again, he had gone along for as long as he could stand. Really, it hadn’t been awful. He enjoyed being with Hinata and spending time with him. They didn’t do much of the proper courting, when they were allotted time to do so they often used it to patrol the grounds together or grab a drink. Sometimes they messed around with their old tournament events together.

It wasn’t until his parents began to talk about surrogates for an heir and the fact that they would be expected to act like a proper couple that it finally sunk into Kageyama that this was not what it would always be like if they went through with it. The same night that he had started to panic, Hinata himself had cornered him and demanded they put an end to it.

That next morning they had approached his parents together and said that they felt it was affecting their duties to be so romantically involved.

That had been the last time he had been asked to court anyone for a long while. Hinata had been dismissed from the throne room immediately and Kageyama had been reminded of all his duties as future king of Karasuno in great detail.

He was on his third consecutive year of having had no issues with his parents trying to set up a new marriage for him when it had happened again.

There were whispers among the palace officials and servants that the king and queen had taken a trip earlier that week to not only have annual dealings with Seijoh but to bring back another possible courting partner for the prince.

Hinata had waved him off when he brought it up, even laughed at him. He had assured him that he had always been the first to know in the past, why would it be any different this time around? Time wasn’t going to change the respect that his parents had for the properness of letting him be the first to know of his marriage possibilities.

Kageyama had been more than comforted by the words. Hinata was hardly ever wrong about his takes on castle gossip. Kageyama was actually sure he started a good deal of it just to watch him squirm about it because he was evil like that.

Something that Hinata was sure of that had come to him through gossip though was that they were having a tournament in honor of Oikawa returning home and that Kageyama was going to be invited by the prince himself to compete as the main event.

That evening when his parents returned, he was handed an invitation that said just that. It was signed by the prince himself. Something in Kageyama made him stare a little too long at the swirly signature before he gave an affirmative answer to his parents and had rushed off to get in a little practice that night before it grew too late.

Both the note and his parents had instructed that he should be able to shoot at his highest capabilities, but he should come more presentable than he did in past tournaments. In Oikawa’s world, that meant he expected him to come looking more like a prince and less like a competitor, to his parents it meant that something diplomatic was going to happen at this tournament and they did not want to be mortified to stand next to their own son.

It took him and Hinata a good three days to find an outfit that he was able to use his bow in without causing damage to his skills or the clothes themselves.

They’d settled, with the help of more than one servant, on keeping the base simple, breathable. A black cotehardie that had been hand embroidered by one of his personal servants with a beautiful orange floral detailing. The buttons themselves were made more elegant, surrounded by that same shimmery orange thread. The sleeves were long and sturdy enough that he wouldn’t have to worry about an arm guard when shooting but they were uniquely loose feeling too. When he had drawn his bow in it and smiled he had caught the boy who had sewn it doing the same as if he had known. They’d decided that a “fancy tunic” was not flashy enough for Oikawa’s tastes, however, so they had commissioned a matching cloak from the same servant.

He had come back a few days later with the lightest material Kageyama had ever felt around his shoulders. Shoulder, he supposed, was more accurate. It hung off his left side, down to his knee. It was moveable enough that when he raised his bow it fell away, no longer a threat of an obstacle to his shooting. It connected under his right arm, secure enough that it wouldn’t slip off of his person and cause a whole different issue. That also was black on the outside, a flash of orange on the underside and around the hems. It was collared, laid flat against his shoulder, another cheeky detail from his new favorite castle seamstress.

Kageyama was certain that with his black circlet around his forehead he’d look more princely than he ever had at a tournament before. Something about it excited him. Another part of him despised that he would stand out among the crowd more than he already did.

What the prince of the kingdom that was a thorn in his family’s side wanted, he got unfortunately.

Kageyama was ready with the addition of nice black trousers and boots that came up just past his knees, courtesy of Hinata because apparently his normal boots didn’t complete the look of uptight prince enough. He’d been chased around the palace and smacked for that comment but Kageyama supposed he was right. Not that he’d admit it.

Still, no matter how much he enjoyed the outfit, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was strange. Of course, he and Oikawa hadn’t seen each other let alone spoken in years, but he himself had never looked exquisite when attending tournaments to compete. That little rumor ate away at the back of Kageyama’s mind. That his parents had found him a suitor from Seijoh. The idea alone made him want to ignore the direct invitation entirely.

Giving Oikawa that satisfaction of a win, however, was the furthest thing from what he wanted to do. Rumors be damned.

—

The days of the tournament came far too fast for Kageyama to feel truly prepared for it, but there was still an excitement singing in his veins the whole way to the kingdom. He was fidgety enough that Hinata had chuckled at him and when he could breathe again had started mocking him. To anyone else, that would have been terrifying to do. To Hinata, it was a way that he calmed Kageyama down and the prince was more than grateful for it.

The chill in the air was combated well by the cape and padded tunic he wore, a saving grace considering he had been ready to leave that morning in nothing but a light tunic. He was thankful for the advice of his newest favorite servant, who he had learned was a Yamaguchi Tadashi.

Hinata knew him well, he was around their age and rather beautiful, he had to admit. According to Hinata, who never learned how to shut up, he was betrothed to the newest addition of Kageyama’s personal knights, Tsukishima Kei. He had a rather hard time believing that they got along with how sour Tsukishima could be, but he said nothing.

Noticing the way he rubbed his hands together, Yamguchi offered him an extra pair of leather gloves. Kageyama had accepted them gratefully, bowing his head gently in a sign of respect. It was the correct move apparently because he earned a smile from the other. A smile that made him feel like he had done his job correctly for once.

Hinata dragged him into a friendly conversation and Kageyama took his chance to escape with his parents into the warmth of Seijoh’s castle walls. It was about noon, by the sun in the sky, which meant he had about 24 hours until the tournament would begin.

The plan had been to greet the king and queen properly and then ask to be shown to his room so that he could begin to rest for the festivities and events that tomorrow had in store for him. Instead, he greeted the king, the queen and then their son. Oikawa had bowed his head respectfully when they shook hands, but he hadn’t missed the cocky flash in his brown eyes. It made his skin prickle.

“Tobio, it’s a pleasure to see you again. It’s been too long, you’ll have to pardon my absence,” Kageyama sort of wished he was still absent with the way his voice grated against his ears.

He bit his tongue, took his time forcing a smile back at him, “Not at all. You were very busy. Not with courting, of course, I gather.”

Oikawa’s hand in his tightens, “Yes well, it seems one of us has been a little too busy with courting.”

Their voices are low but Kageyama’s mother must catch the last bits of their anger because she shoots him a warning glance.

Oikawa is instructed to take Kageyama to his room. They kept up friendly conversation until the grand hall doors slammed shut behind them and then the only sound in the hallway was the echo of their boots against the stone.

Oikawa is bigger than he was when he left, Kageyama notes from behind him. He’s broader, his arms and legs thicker. He’s more tan than he ever was before. Kageyama isn’t sure where he went , but he is sure that he must have been able to be in the sun much more. He must have been doing more physical work as well. Kageyama is delighted far more than he should be, however, that he has at least an inch on Oikawa in height. He’s the one looking down on him now, not the other way around. It feels exhilarating, even if Oikawa still somehow manages to lord over him with this attitude.

He slows to a stop outside a door that is all too familiar to Kageyama. A door that is right across the hall from Oikawa’s own room. It’s where they were made to stay as children and it seems their families were stuck to the tradition as always.

“A servant or I will be back to fetch you for supper tonight. Do make sure you wear something appropriate. I don’t want to embarrass myself walking in next to you.” With that he is escaping into his own quarters, leaving Kageyama to seethe by himself in the hallway for a long moment.

Hinata joined him not long after Oikawa made his escape and Kageyama settled into his temporary room. He announced himself with a low whistle at how nicely furnished the room was and dumped himself on the bed before Kageyama could protest. He shooed him out of the room and halfway down the hallway when he realized that Hinata had tracked mud into the room and onto the nice fur carpet.

Kageyama spent approximately an hour on his own before one of the castle staff disturbed him to offer their assistance with his dressing for the banquet that night. He refused, instead requesting that Yamaguchi be brought to him.

It took them both an hour of debating to settle on what he was to wear that night to save Oikawa the embarrassment and Kageyama the earful.

Yamaguchi had him dressed in a nicer white tunic and a black gambeson with deep blue buckles and threading. They weren’t his kingdom’s colors but something about the sure way that Yamaguchi helped him dress made him worry nothing about it. He was fitted with sleek black gloves and his crown and only then did Yamaguchi step back to examine him closer.

“It’s too simple,” he frowned and crossed his arms. “Perhaps, since it is a banquet, your highness would be more comfortable in armor?”

Kageyama frowned, “My father will be wearing armor.”

Yamaguchi hid a laugh behind his hand, eyes sparkling. Without another word he went back to work.

Kageyama was eased into a very light tunic, extra layers to fight the cold that came with the rain outside. Over that, Yamaguchi helped him into a black doublet adorned with a pattern of white and orange feathers along the front, held together by silver buttons. Ribbons danced underneath the fabric that jutted out above his arms from the shoulder. More of the feather pattern trailed down a section of the tight fitting arms until it met four buttons in a line holding the sleeves closed at the wrist. There along the sides of the top, black ribbons had been sewn along the middle of either side of the pattern to tie it into the black base elegantly.

He’d truly outdone himself with this one, Kageyama thought as he was helped into black trousers and boots. Yamaguchi finished the outfit off by handing him sleek black gloves to keep his hands warm and carefully placing his circlet onto his forehead.

They seemed to silently agree that this was much better just in time. There was a knock at his chamber door, loud and impatient. He knew far before Yamaguchi went to fetch it who would be standing on the other side. He also knew that he would be flushing when he was met with someone other than Kageyama, his dislike for the other making him act a fool in front of a servant. A shame in his eyes.

Oikawa cleared his throat after Yamaguchi bowed his head and escorted himself out of the room. “When we reach the hall they will introduce us together. We’ve been seated next to each other at the head table beside my father.”

“I suppose you’ll be escorting me then?” Kageyama frowned.

The idea of having to stand that close to Oikawa made his stomach turn in a strange way. He didn’t even want to begin to think about the fact that they’d have to be holding hands.

“You do pay attention to your lessons,” he sneered back at him and turned on his heel.

Kageyama followed without thinking about it.

The low-heel of his brown boots clicked with every step he took down the hallway. The brisk pace he’d set let the wind catch the silk fabric of his shoulder cape, fluttering it behind him gently. Oikawa, it seemed, had also chosen to wear a doublet. The fabric that stuck out from his shoulders made them look impossibly broader. It was the lightest blue color, simple ribbons of white sewn across the chest in a diagonal up towards the collar of his cape. Three, like the slash of a strange animal's claws. There, along the collar fold and outside of the cape the same three white ribbon patterns ran along the silk. His trousers were a blinding white that looked almost as if they sat a little too tight.

Everything was so simple, and yet with the white gloves on his hands and the golden crown that sat on top of his perfectly placed hair, he looked far more elegant than Kageyama could ever hope to. The ache in his chest was nothing short of jealousy, he was sure.

When they reached the doors that would lead them into the chaos of the baquet, the music was already dancing across his hearing. Oikawa looked less than pleased to offer a hand to him. Kageyama, struggling not to recoil, placed his own palm down on top of his. Their hands sat slightly in front of them at their chests, forcing their shoulders to touch with every step they took or move they made.

The doors opened and Oikawa plastered a smile on his face, Kageyama schooled his own features as well.

“His Royal Highness Oikawa Tooru of Aoba Johsai and His Royal Highness Kageyama Tobio of Karasuno,” the herald called, clearly into the air after the horns had sounded to quiet everyone. Their arrival was met with bows and kind words from nobles and servants alike as they passed through the rows of tables towards their own seats.

Oikawa’s parents sat in the center of the table, commanding attention easily. Kageyama’s own parents sat to the queen’s right. They were almost as imposing. He wondered if he and Oikawa would look that same way to anyone who watched them that night as they took their seats to the king’s left. Oikawa sat next to his father, Kageyama at the last seat of the table.

No sooner had they sat down than Oikawa’s father and mother stood from their own seats and stepped away. Oikawa looked about as puzzled as Kageyama felt.

“Nonsense, why are you boys sitting at the end of the table? Tonight is about you, my son!” He turned to address the crowd after this, leaving Oikawa no time to protest. “Tonight we celebrate the return of my son and the announcement of his engagement!”

Engagement?

Kageyama tried to ask Oikawa what all this was about an engagement and why his betrothed wasn’t the one sitting next to this side tonight. His mother and father should have taken precedence over him. He should have been at the table full of the other royalty being hosted that night. Instead, he was swept up by the gentle hands of Oikawa’s mother.

She had kind eyes. So deep of a brown they almost looked black. When she smiled they twinkled like the stars had taken a home within the dark color. He couldn’t help but relax under her helpful guide. He took her seat next to his own father who offered no explanation either. He looked scandalized that they would go along with such a thing.

Oikawa was sat next to him, urged by the sturdy hand of his father to sit in the seat he’d been in moments before. His eyes, those were Oikawa’s. Twinkling in the way that his did when he had a bow in his hands.

The celebrations had started up again now that the king had finished his business. Oikawa looked distracted. Kageyama tried to egg information out of him anyways.

“What’s this about an engagement?”

The other prince scoffed at him, “My parents are announcing who they’ve chosen to be my betrothed tonight.”

“I feel that I shouldn’t be sitting up here,” Kageyama added after a moment of letting the words sink in.

“Trust me, I would like it much better if you were elsewhere.” Oikawa grumbled and then turned his attention back towards the crowd of people.

Someone came down the line to greet him after they noticed he had finished exchanging words with Kageyama. A tall, mischievous looking stranger that Kageyama was sure he had seen before.

He was introduced to him not long after when his own hand was being grabbed in a firm handshake. Kuroo Tetsurou, King of Nekoma and soon after he was being introduced to his husband as well. Bokuto Koutarou, former prince of Fukurodani. It was said that his eldest sister took the throne instead of him. Kageyama’s parents had gossiped about how they were doomed as soon as the news had reached them. Though, Kageyama had a sneaking suspicion they were doing just fine.

The night continued on like that, meeting familiar and new faces. Everyone seemed eager to chat them up. Oikawa did most of the talking between the two of them, but Kageyama had done some of it when Yaku had approached them with Sugawara on his arm not long after Kuroo had left.

It was wonderful to hear that Suga was happy. It was far more poetic though to watch the way that Yaku watched him as he spoke. He wondered if any of his suitors had ever looked at him that way.

After a while there was entertainment. A classical vocal performer that they had hosted from the kingdom of Itachiyama. Komori Motoya, if he remembered correctly. As soon as he had stepped down from the center of the hall, he had taken a seat next to one of Itachiyama’s knights. Right next to Hinata who looked like he was having the time of his life and maybe like he’d had a little too much to drink.

“That’s your guard, isn’t it? The little one.” Oikawa gestured with his eyes, sipping on his own drink.

Kageyama nodded, trying not to bristle at the fact he’d referred to him by his stature. “He’s damn good at what he does.”

Oikawa studied him for a moment, an emotion that Kageyama couldn’t read flashing across his face. He looked at him for a long moment before glancing back at Hinata with a little smile that he failed to hide behind the rim of his glass.

He said nothing more, so Kageyama dropped it as well.

There was another entertainer after a while. He performed magic tricks, told jokes and grand tales, contorted himself in strange ways. He thrived under the attention of the audience of nobles and their servants. When he was done, Oikawa’s mother rose to her feet gracefully to give him a standing ovation and the rest of the banquet followed her lead.

The night had gone on dreadfully long before Kageyama was sure that he would finally be released from his place next to Oikawa. His father stood, clearing his throat and the other three leaders at the table followed. Kageyama shifted in his seat, ready to stand as well before Oikawa gestured for him to stay under the table.

“My esteemed guests,” the king started. “As you all know, the kingdoms of Karasuno and Aoba Johsai have had great diplomatic dealings for generations. Our people may not always see eye to eye, but it is my pleasure to be a part of an age-old agreement that looks out for the good of our people instead of the good of our prides.”

Kageyama’s father bristled at that. His mother’s hand rested gently against his wrist.

“I am old,” The king spoke cheekily and the crowd erupted in scattered laughter. “It is time to think about passing these responsibilities of diplomacy onto our children. Onto my son, who I could not be happier with has returned to me after so long away.”

Oikawa smiled, truly smiled, at his father. Kageyama was almost shocked to see something so genuine on his face in his presence.

The king smiled right back at him and then at the crowd as he continued his speech. “I have always wanted the best for my son. I have worked hard to prepare him not only as a father but as a king. I can confidently say now that he is ready to some day soon take my throne. And as such, we have decided that he is ready for marriage. A marriage that will strengthen not only his bonds and who he is as a man, but a marriage that will strengthen this kingdom and do what is right for its people. I have spoken a great deal with Karasuno’s esteemed king and queen and have been inspired by the care that they have for the diplomacy between our families. By the care that they have for their own child and the desire they have for him to one day take their place with a worthy spouse of his own.”

“We have decided together that for the good of our kingdoms, my son is to be betrothed to Karsuno’s own prince, Kageyama Tobio. Tomorrow all will be invited to watch the first step of their courting! A friendly competition! May they join our people under one nation and put an end to our fears of fighting once and for all!” The king spread his arm to gesture towards the two of them.

Oikawa stood, dragging Kageyama up with him as the crowd erupted in cheers. At least he figured that’s what was happening. He was a little numb, the noise of the room suddenly so dull he felt as though he was underwater, hearing it from a distance.

When the king was sure that the crowd was too busy to pay attention, he turned to the two of them, smiling like he hadn’t just turned their worlds upside down with a few words. He congratulated them, and clapped Kageyama and Oikawa both on the back. The queen gave them both a gentle kiss on the cheek, smiling and then they left to join in the dancing that had started up all around the room.

Kageyama’s own parents offered no more than a congratulations to them and left to join in themselves. Not because they liked it, Kageyama knew this, it was out of a sense of duty.

Oikawa was headed for the door not more than a few seconds after they had been left alone. He had no choice but to follow after him, desperate for some sense of figuring out what had just happened.

“Oikawa! Oikawa, wait- Will you stop walking so fast?” He growled and reached out for his wrist.

They were ripped apart by Oikawa wretching around to face him, anger in his eyes. “Did you know?”

“Of course not! You’re not the only one who’s being put upon by this situation you know!” Kageyama was seething again, Oikawa’s anger contagious.

They just looked at each other for a long moment before they seemed to realize that there were guards at either door, listening to everything they were saying, willingly or not. Oikawa straightened his garments and collected himself again.

“Tell my father that I have gone for a ride if he asks for me,” was all he said before he was practically running down the hall.

Kageyama wasn’t sure if he had been talking to him or the guards, but he couldn’t very well follow him and make himself look like a desperate suitor, so he turned and let himself back into the chaos of the banquet.

Hinata was there, as if waiting for him, near the entrance. He had Yamaguchi with him and a face that Kageyama didn’t recognize until the performer from that night tugged him gently away from the three of them. Kageyama would have to thank him for the privacy and the performance later.

“Are you alright?” Hinata placed a hand on his shoulder and Kageyama wilted like a flower. “Come on, Prince Oikawa left already, right? We can play it off to the king and queen if we need to. Let’s get out of here.”

Yamaguchi stepped up beside Hinata and shook his head at him, “Excuse me for saying so but you seemed to be having fun talking to Sir Sakusa. Let me take his highness back to his chambers.”

Hinata flushed a bit and Kageyama couldn’t help but give a little smile at that. They locked eyes just long enough for an apology to flash through Hinata’s and for Kageyama to shake his head, dismissing that. Knowing Hinata was having fun was really all he needed.

Yamaguchi led him out of the banquet hall again but not before he caught sight of the curly haired stranger offering a dance to his guard who accepted a little too quickly to be subtle.

—

That next morning, Kageyama was dragged out of bed far too early if the lack of sun in his window had anything to say about it. He had tossed and turned for most of the night and when he did get bits of sleep he was awoken more often than not by awful dreams, his own mind playing tricks on him in his vulnerable state. One time he had been awoken by the slam of the door across from his own. He wasn’t sure how late that had been, but Oikawa had been gone for hours by that point.

The announcement had shaken them both up it seemed.

Yamaguchi’s steady hands dressed him in the outfit they had chosen days prior, fixing and adjusting until Kageyama looked perfect to him. Hinata joined them, dragging his feet and holding his head, after the sun finally began to peak through the window. It was a miracle that the rain had stopped. Kageyama had barely seen a day in his time in Aoba Johsai where it wasn’t raining. It’s why so many people had given it the name Seijoh. Blue Castle, it meant.

There was a legend that the first king who had claimed Seijoh as his own had drowned in a flood caused by the rains within his own castle. Blue Castle was elegant sounding. It made sense, he supposed, with the colors their family had chosen to represent them, but Seijoh was doomed. That’s what people thought, anyway. Kageyama rather liked the rain.

Hinata handed him his bow and quiver when Yamaguchi was done laying his hair flat and placing his circlet on his forehead again. They both stared at him for a long time before they looked at each other and seemed to have some sort of silent conversation. He felt a little excluded until they turned their attention back to him again and smiled.

Smiles that momentarily blinded him.

A servant came to fetch them around an hour later, leading them through the maze-like corridors and out into the brightness of the mourning sun and the beautiful sight of the tournament grounds. A crowd had already started to gather, some of the less popular competitions being held for their viewing pleasure.

Kageyama was led towards the tents where the competitors rested, his muscle memory began to carry him towards the tent that had always hosted Karasuno’s competitors. He had been gently corrected by his guide, being led past both his kingdom’s tent and Oikawa’s. He noticed then that a new tent had been erected that year. One that was significantly larger. Fancy, if tents could be such.

“I am permitted only to let Prince Kageyama enter,” the guide explained. Hinata and Yamaguchi didn’t have to be instructed twice. They left, Hinata not nearly as far. He took his place in the grass, standing by in case he was needed. Damn good at what he did, indeed.

Kageyama was led into the tent, the servant bowing before scurrying back out to leave him alone with Oikawa and -

“Sir Iwaizumi?” Kageyama took a few hesitant steps forward.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa turned to face him, their conversation over now that he’d arrived. “You don’t have to be so formal about it. You knew me long before I’d finished my training.”

He held out a hand and Kageyama shook it numbly. He hadn’t expected to see him here. He’d heard that Iwaizumi had also left Aoba Johsai around the same time that Oikawa had. Something about training to be a better knight. He had also come back undoubtedly larger than what he had left. Extremely handsome were the only words Kageayama would use to describe him.

“Don’t drool on yourself, it would be dreadful to have you embarrass me already.” Oikawa scoffed and then turned his attention to Iwaizumi again. “Make sure that we’re not disturbed by any nosy nobles. Tell them whatever you have to, just don’t let them in. If I’m to be stuck all day with Tobio I don’t need old men bothering me too.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “You really are a bastard.”

He was escaping out of the tent before Oikawa could do much more than gawk at him. He was grumbling for a few minutes after he was gone about how rude he was before he seemed to remember Kageyama was there and still very confused.

“You don’t have to stand. There’s plenty of room.” Oikawa gestured around and for the first time since he’d walked in, Kageyama noticed he was right.

The tent was well furnished. Chairs, padded benches, and a bed in the corner that Kageyama did not really want to think about the purpose of. There was a table full of food in the center and a few smaller tables off to the side. One of which, Oikawa was sitting down at, toying with his hair. The other had a small mirror as well, he was sure it was to check how he looked but that was really the last thing he wished to do at that moment.

He chose instead to lounge in one of the comfier-looking chairs. His posture earned a quiet click of Oikawa’s tongue but nothing else. The silence was nice. He could hear the crowd in the distance, the commotion of the other tents around them. At one point he could hear Hinata and Iwaizumi laughing together outside of their tent. It sounded like they were talking about their old team events.

“Tobio-chan, you’ll mess up your hair laying like that,” Oikawa scolded, breaking their long silence.

He’d moved from his place at one of the tables to the padded bench across from Kageyama. For someone who had been so upset that he was stuck with him, he sure had picked the closest possible piece of furniture to sit on.

“What does it matter to you? Maybe if you complain enough to your father about me he’ll change his mind about this grand plan of his.” Kageyama turned his head away from Oikawa, deciding that the simple white tunic he wore was pulled too tight across his chest to be comfortable.

“My father isn’t going to change his mind about this one no matter how much I beg him,” he could hear the dramatics of his facial expressions in his voice. Annoying. “Besides, our parents are right, you know. This is the logical thing to do. They’re the first generation to have been somewhat civil about most things. If we do this, think of all the hassle we’re saving our people. Fear is no way to live.”

Kageyama looked back at him, watching the way his eyes softened a bit. He looked so very normal at that moment. He’d always held him on this pedestal. Oikawa Tooru the unbreakable. Oikawa Tooru, the perfect prince, son, and friend. A damn good archer. He was handsome, people liked him. In this moment, he was none of those untouchable things. He was a person who understood the needs of those that he was responsible for. Something in the air made Kageyama feel a little fluttery watching him.

“But do you really think you can live like that, Oikawa?” he urged, sitting up. “Do you really think that you can wake up everyday and know that you’re married to me? Know that even if you do have a lover that’s not me, you’ll never truly be able to celebrate that love because we did this out of what? A sense of duty to our people? Can you stand to live like that?”

Oikawa seemed to think about it for a long time. Half of which he was staring into Kageyama’s soul with calculating brown eyes that he’d watched flirt their way out of many things through the years.

He answered, sure of himself, “I could live a lot of ways that I didn’t wish to if it meant that the people that I care about can sleep easy at night.”

Kageyama nodded. He nodded again. He nodded some more. He was a little stuck on what he was supposed to say in response to that. Was he supposed to say that he agreed? That thinking about Hinata having to one day lead his squadron of knights in a war between their countries terrified him? Or that he wanted Yamaguchi to be able to sleep easy at night knowing that he was safe under the protection of the castle guards? That no harm would come to him or the life he’d built there.

He wanted his people to feel safe. He wanted his people to look at him and be proud of the prince that he had become. To feel at ease knowing that he would someday take the throne and do his best to keep them all living the lives that they wished to live.

They faded into silence again, sitting in each other’s company knowing that they had agreed that no matter how much they disliked this situation, they would have to find a way to come to terms with it. There was no getting out of this without losing that guarantee of safety that they both wanted so dearly for their people.

“Your highness,” a small voice at the opening of the tent was the first thing Kageyama had heard clearly since their conversation minutes ago. “I’m here to dress you for your appearance. Would you like me to show Prince Kageyama out?”

Kageyama dismissed the boy with a small wave of his hand, “I wish to take a walk anyways. Send someone for me when I am needed.”

Oikawa looked almost thankful for a moment and then it was gone, his face changing into that same guarded look he always wore around people. It was kind, sure, but it was never genuine. He’d seen genuine on the contest grounds many times.

He was joined by Hinata on his walk. They talked about nothing and everything. Hinata told him about his dance at the request of Kageyama and Kageyama in turn told him about what he and Oikawa had talked about the whole night, which quite frankly had been nothing. They spent hours just walking, catching glimpses of familiar faces or the competitions. Soon, they were just silent. Enjoying the company more than anything.

When the sun was beginning to reach the lunch hour peak, they were stopped by one of the many castle servants, instructed that they were to head to the west entrance of the grounds and wait for Kageyama’s que.

It took the sun reaching the peak for a trumpet to sound and the crowd to fall silent. The king’s voice echoed in Kageyama’s ears even from outside the arena. He gave much of the same speech that he had the night before, fluffy words about how important this engagement was to the course of the land's history. How the union of their kingdoms would make them stronger and safer all at once. Nothing like a little pressure. If this didn’t work out, Kageyama was sure it could mean higher tensions between their families again.

Exactly what he and Oikawa wanted to avoid by doing this.

“I would like to introduce to the good people of this competition to my son’s suitor, Prince Kageyama Tobio of Karasuno!” Kageyama stood frozen as the doors before him parted and the crowd began to cheer.

Hinata gave him a little shove, clearing his throat and Kageyama was off towards the center of the arena by himself, bow in hand. The crowd got louder the further into the arena he strutted. He tried to keep his head up, tried not to shy away from such attention. He had never stood here before as a prince. He’d come as a competitor and nothing more. Things were changing.

He wasn’t sure how to feel about it but he was leaning towards awful.

“And now, welcome to the competitor’s arena, my own son, Prince Oikawa Tooru.” This was the queen’s voice. Just as commanding if not more so than her husband’s.

The east doors creaked open and the cheers doubled in sound. Kageyama was overwhelmed by the sound around him. Overwhelmed by the air in the arena changing as soon as Oikawa had stepped foot into it. There was something crackling in the air like lighting during a particularly angry storm. It felt different from the thrill of competition and it had struck him far before he saw the way Oikawa was also carrying his bow.

He looked insufferably handsome, Kageyama had to admit.

A white light blue, almost white cravat hung around his neck elegantly. The back and sides of it were hidden by the collar of his cape which rose to just below his jawline and draped over his shoulders, which were accented by shoulder pads yet again. There was small white detailing on the fabric. Hidden below the front of the cape that ended just above his elbow was a slightly darker blue tunic, fastened together with shiny pearl buttons. Again, he was in blinding, tight white pants that puffed out around the top of his calf where they were tucked into elegant, shining boots.
He was glowing.

At the king’s mark, the competition began. They took shot after shot, trying to outdo each other. Thriving under the careful watch and loud encouragement of the crowd. Oikawa laughed, even. Something about the way he took aim was different than it had been before he left. There was something reminiscent of the childhood joy of competing against Kageyama when he would visit. Before they fought on this stage. Before Kageyama had discovered that Oikawa must have hated him. Why else would he have always looked so sad competing against him when he never had before?

Oikawa came out victorious with one perfect trick shot that split Kageyama’s last arrow in half in the bullseye position. The crowd roared at that. Oikawa had been so cheeky as to bow. He expected to feel some tightening in his chest. That feeling that he had first felt losing against Oikawa all those years ago.

He felt nothing. He felt everything.

Kageyama was full, he was empty. He was content. He had done his best, there was no doubt of that.

When they bowed to the crowd of people there was equal cheering. It had been a competition that was hard fought and hard won.

When they had thrived in the thrill of a happy crowd for long enough the king himself stood to his feet, the crowd fading into silence around them. On cue, the east and west doors opened again. From the west, came several servants to clean up the mess of arrows and to take their bows and quivers from them. Another servant came striding through the east, bow in hand. It was all white except for where the arrow lay when being pulled back for a shot. There, it was the same light blue of Oikawa’s outfit. There was one single arrow in the quiver that sat on the servants back. It looked to be painted black, the ends a bright orange that Kageyama was familiar with.

Oikawa was handed the bow as his father began to speak, Kageyama handed the arrow. The servant left them with no instructions.

“Today, we celebrate the union of our kingdoms with an old warrior's marriage tradition,” Oikawa ran his fingers along the string of the bow, giving it a gentle pluck. “The princes will have to work closely together to make the perfect shot. A bullseye, as legend has it, is a symbol of a successful marriage.”

There was a polite cheer from the crowd and then they were told that they could begin. Kageyama was completely clueless about what exactly he was supposed to be doing. Warriors marriage tradition? Surely the old man was still drunk from the banquet the night before.

The crowd was too quiet now. He missed the deafening, thought stopping roar that had been constant just minutes ago. He didn’t get to think too long about that though.

Oikawa was in his space so suddenly he jumped a little bit, earning a few stray chuckles. A glaring reminder that they weren’t alone here. He was pressed against him, hand reaching down to guide the arrow and Kageyama’s own up to string the bow gently. It was calculated, perfect. If they messed this up now it would make tensions and pressure rise even more. Kageyama was about to take the most important shot of his life and Oikawa was guiding him through it.

He would have laughed at how strange it was if he could breathe properly.

“You’re shaking,” Oikawa noted lowly, slowly guiding them to aim.

Kageyama plastered a polite smile on his face to try to keep up appearances. “You would be shaking too if you didn’t know this was coming. They’re all counting on this one single shot.”

Oikawa hummed, following Kageyama’s lead as he pulled the string back, relying mostly on Oikawa’s steady grip to keep the bow aimed just right. He held them there for what felt like an impossibly long time. So long that Kageyama had started to notice that he could feel Oikawa’s breath against his face. It was steady, gentle.

“On three,” he instructed.

Kageyama listened closer to him than he ever had in his life. Feeling every number against his cheek in a gust of gentle air. Then, together, their hands let go. The arrow went flying through the air. For a moment, Kageyama was sure it would never hit the bullseye. He turned his gaze towards where Oikawa had yet to drop the bow instead of watching it. The roar of the crowd surprised him.

There, dead-center bullseye, was their arrow.

Oikawa laughed, a sound that was more nerves being released into the air around them than anything. Kageyama followed suit, letting out a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

When his hands had stopped shaking and the roar of the crowd had started to die down, he realized that Oikawa was still wrapped around him. He realized that his own hand hadn’t let go of the bow yet. Then he felt the way that their hands had dropped to his side, Oikawa’s resting gently just above his wrist. His face grew hot with shame at having been standing there in such a state for so long. The crowd had long since started to disperse by the time Kageyama pulled himself away.

Something flashed across Oikawa’s face that he couldn’t read and then he was handing the bow off to a servant who had come to fetch it and leaving without much more than a promise to see him at the celebration lunch.

His mother and father met him on his way out, following after Oikawa who had already struck up a friendly conversation with a knight that had met him at the doors. His hair was a strange shade of pink and Oikawa seemed to be enjoying his company quite a lot until he said something that had him stuttering angrily over his words. The knight had to hold onto his shoulder as they walked to keep himself upright, clutching his stomach as he laughed openly at him.

Kageyama managed to catch just a glimpse of adoration behind his frown before he was being ushered off to congratulate his kingdom’s competitors with his family.

Through the whole thing he could only think about how comical it was. The entirety of the crowd was sure now that Kageyama and Oikawa were destined to be together. Based on what? An old tradition that held absolutely no merit? They had made that bullseye not because fate had guided them to do so, but because they were talented at what they did.

Bullseye or not, this marriage was doomed.

—

Seijoh was surprisingly nice for a kingdom that had gained its nickname from such a sad legend. The sun shone here more than he’d been led to believe. The castle grounds were well kept and a beautiful green. He often spent the days that it did rain inside, admiring the plant life that grew all around. Oikawa’s chambers had a window that looked out over the garden, Kageyama enjoyed spending his time there, reading or napping on the bay window.

They spent much of their time in the gardens. It was large enough that they could keep up the guise of spending time together and then escape to do their own things. Sometimes, though, Oikawa would take Kageyama around to point out the different species of flowers and what they meant in a language he had never known existed before he’d been taught.

When Oikawa’s mother joined them after breakfast sometimes, she would take them to the pond in the center and instruct the boys on how to properly feed the ducks that lived there or how to stay still enough that the dragonflies would land on their fingers.

The inside of the castle wasn’t as bland as Kageyama had remembered it either.

The king often took them to the study, telling extravagant stories of how he had obtained the antiques and display items that were there. Oikawa always rolled his eyes and mocked him when he wasn’t looking. It was in those moments that Kageyama let himself laugh along with him when they would almost get caught or were caught and scolded.

Oikawa liked to sit in the library and read, encouraging Kageyama to do the same. It often resulted in him napping on the incredibly plush furniture instead of reading, but Oikawa kept trying every single time they would go together.

There was a room where they would go to listen to Oikawa’s mother play the harp. Sometimes Oikawa would join her for duets on a lyre. Kageyama always liked those trips the best. There was something missing that was filled when they played together. He found himself humming the tunes to himself often during the days after that until a new one would be played for him and then it would be replaced.

When Kageyama had been invited to stay in the castle with Oikawa that afternoon during lunch, his parents had been less than happy to leave him behind. As was tradition in a courting that would result in a union of kingdoms, Kageyama and Oikawa needed to split their time between the two until they themselves were ready to be king. A pre-decided period of time each to start and then it would be entirely up to them to decide after the courting period ended.

He had been dreading his stay there. Finding all of the positives had been more than a saving grace. That said, they were by no means suddenly lovers because they’d made some stupid bullseye.

Oikawa was still as annoying as ever. Kageyama was still grumpy when he got on his nerves. They still had to pretend to enjoy each other’s company more often than not. It was dreadful when the sun went down and it was time to sleep. Oikawa’s bed was large but not nearly large enough for the two of them to sleep in comfortably without touching. There were many mornings where one or both of them found themselves on the floor because of how far towards the edges of the bed they had slept. The worst mornings though were when Kageyama was jolted awake by a complaining Oikawa because they had ended up moving closer together during the night.

A few days into that arrangement they had decided it was best for Kageyama to stay in his own room. The king had it prepared without asking a single question.

They were still incredibly competitive. It was hard not to be when that was how they had always been. They got into more trouble than they got praised because they were often caught doing rather stupid things to try to get the upperhand on each other.

So things were good and they got better with everything Kageyama and Oikawa learned about each other, but they weren’t perfect.

That morning was a perfect example of just how imperfect things could still be.

Kageyama groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes when the curtains were pulled back violently and a stream of light bombarded his eyelids.

“Your highness, Prince Oikawa requests your presence at the archery range immediately.” Matsukawa. Oikawa’s personal manservant and a pain in Kageyama’s ass.

Kageyama grumbled and turned onto his side, facing away from the now opened window. The relief didn’t last long because there was another window on the other side that Matsukawa rushed over to open far too happily. Kageyama wasn’t sure why Oikawa hadn’t kicked his ass before now. Maybe he didn’t treat him like this, but something about how practiced he was at pushing all of his buttons at once made him think he definitely wasn’t getting special treatment.

“Tell Oikawa he can fuc-”

Matsukawa chidded cheekily as he laid out an outfit at the end of the bed for Kageyama, “That’s no way to talk about your betrothed, now is it?”

“Like you would know,” Kageyama grumbled under his breath.

He dragged himself out of bed and started dressing as Matsukawa answered cheekily from the door, “I would hope so. Being married to two people is twice the work, you know. Don’t be late! Oikawa hates that.”

With that he was gone, leaving drowsy Kageyama behind to try to sort out the idea of Matsukawa finding not one but two people to put up with him. Then, all at once, the way that Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and he flocked behind Oikawa together all the time like a collective unit made more sense. The shared glances and little acts of service. It was nothing overly extravagant but Kageyama was hit with the realization that it was love.

He thought about that the entire walk to meet with Oikawa, wondering why everything had to be so complicated because of their titles. Wasn’t love supposed to look like that?

“You’re late!” Oikawa jumped at the chance to scold him. “We only have an hour before lunch. How are we supposed to have a proper competition in that time?”

“Excuse me, Your Highness. Someone kept me up complaining about his feet hurting after we went into town on foot yesterday. I had no idea wooden doors were so thin.” Kageyama shoved past him, delighting in the way he could hear Oikawa sputter behind him.

He made his way over to grab his bow that had been dutifully prepared for him, slinging the quiver over his shoulders lazily. When he turned back around to start to walk towards the targets, he almost collided with Oikawa. He was standing inches from him, his own bow and quiver sat so naturally on his person that it looked like they belonged there. He was smirking.

Kageyama had learned quickly that when Oikawa started looking like that it never meant anything good for either of them. Often it meant that either Iwaizumi or the queen would be sitting them down and they would be having a stern talking to.

“No,” Kageyama said.

Oikawa rolled his eyes as he shoved past him again, “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“I don’t need to know. Everything that comes out of your mouth is stupid.”

He had been left alone long enough to loose an arrow that never reached the target because it was shot right out of the air by one of Oikawa’s own. It took Kageyama much longer to process what had happened to his arrow than he would have liked.

“I win,” Oikawa shrugged and dropped his bow to his side. “Now are you going to skip having to act like we like each other in front of my parents and come do some horseback archery with me or not?”

They, in fact, had skipped out on lunch and gone riding instead.

It in fact, was not horseback archery, however. Oikawa had let them exchange a few arrows before he looked like he had begun to grow bored. Not that Kageyama could blame him. It was one of the only things they agreed upon enough to not get into some little spat or a glaring competition. They’d done quite a lot of it during his stay here to try to keep up appearances. It was growing far worse than boring.

His eyes darted to the orchard, then back to Kageyama, and back again. He rolled his shoulders back, winked and took off. Kageyama, without much thought, raced after him on his own horse. They were far from the archery range and through the orchard, into the rolling hills behind the palace before they slowed at all.

Oikawa, though he hadn’t been the one running so far, was panting when Kageyama rounded back to him. “You almost look like a real prince on horseback.”

“And you almost look like you’re feeling genuine emotion,” Kageyama slowed down to a stop a few feet from him. Any closer he would fear for the smack that might have been delivered to him.

That fear, it seemed, was irrational. Instead of anger, when he chanced a peek at the other prince he was laughing. Silently, more of a hitching of his breath than anything but his shoulders shook in a way that reminded Kageyama bitterly of Hinata who was far from him now. Hinata who was home, a place Kageyama longed to be.

It would have been comforting if Oikawa was someone who wasn’t just as put out by this whole situation. Or if Kageyama was open to being comforted by him to begin with.

They rode further out along the walls of the castle. Though they weren’t far from each other most of the journey, there was very little said. Sometimes Oikawa would point out a section of land or a landmark of some sort and tell Kageyama a story that made that space memorable, sometimes Kageyama himself would remember those places from his youth though he didn’t dare say so. Most of the ride was spent distracting themselves from thinking and enjoying the freedom that having no prying eyes around gave them.

It was only when the sun had fallen beyond their sight behind the castle and low enough into the sky that their shadows fled away into the darkness that the two of them decided to ride back to the stables.

They took the long way, eager to be out just a little bit longer. Kageyama, for one, had enjoyed the feeling that he could scowl at anyone and anything as much as he liked without having to feel that he was being a shame for anyone to call their prince or a son, for that matter. Oikawa looked peaceful as they rode. Sometimes he’d close his eyes and let the strangest open smile grace his features, other times he looked almost as if he wished to say something that he couldn’t quite put into words. Those times the peace turned into something that looked more like frustration. It would stay for a while and then he would catch Kageyama looking and would take off to be chased after.

When they finally made it back to the stables it was dark. The stars were sparkling like precious gems sewn into dark velvet, though the moon was nowhere to be found. It made their work in the stables a bit harder. With just the light of small flames they worked in silence to care for their horses. When they were done, they stood side by side near the exit for a long moment.

Oikawa broke the silence, as he always did.

“Tobio-chan,” The nickname was far too familiar for them but Kageyama didn’t have it in him to argue. A small piece of him, that he pushed down as soon as it had surfaced, thought it didn’t sound so bad, truly. “You asked me before our engagement tournament if I thought I could marry you knowing that if I ever love someone enough that I want to share that with them, I would never be able to because we have a duty as leaders. And I told you that I could do this if that was what our kingdoms need to be able to live peacefully and without fear.”

Kageyama nodded, though he couldn’t get his tongue to move, it felt like it had melted to the sides of his mouth. Impossible to move and strangely dry.

“I’ve done a lot of things in life that I regret,” Oikawa sighed. “I don’t think this will ever be one of those things for me. But here is my question for you, Tobio Kageyama.”

“Yes?” His voice was oddly shaky to even his own ears.

Oikawa took a moment to collect his thoughts. “Do you think that you can live like that? Do you believe that you can live life by my side from this point on and not resent me more than you already do for taking that chance of a true love from you?”

Resent him? Sure, it was no secret Kageyama wasn’t Prince Oikawa’s number one supporter, but resent seemed to be a rather extreme word for what he felt. Truthfully, when they were younger Kageyama had always admired him. Sometimes, he still did. He couldn't help but admire him when he was such a skilled archer, diplomat, and leader.

He was annoying, yes. Dramatic? Perhaps. Kageyama wasn’t sure he’d ever say he resented him, however. Nor was he really sure where that idea had come from in Oikawa’s head.

Before Kageyama could speak up himself Oikawa was shattering the silence again. “You don’t have to answer me now. I wouldn’t expect you to be able to decide something so large so quickly.”

“Of course,” Kageyama nodded.

“I believe I will take a walk.” Oikawa sighed, dusting his hands on the front of his pants. “You can blame me if you wish when trying to explain to the kitchen staff why you are late for supper.”

He patted Kageyama on the shoulder and left without having looked at him once. He had turned Kageyama’s own question on him and left him with the fate of their relationship and possibly their kingdoms in his hands without so much as sparing a glance at him.

Annoying didn’t even begin to cover what Tooru Oikawa was.

—

Many of their days went by like that together. Oikawa would summon him through one of the many servants in the castle or one of his rather annoying friends and then Kageyama would find himself spending most of the day in his presence. Sometimes there were others around, sometimes it was just the two of them. Most times they were silent save for the occasional comment or story and more recently sometimes they would have conversations that made Kageyama realize how much not only he himself had matured with age, but Oikawa as well.

One of his favorite things to talk about with Oikawa, he found, was art. Though neither of them had been gifted the talent to create it, it seemed somehow they had both come to enjoy the idea of it. The look and emotions behind pieces that were created not for the money but from someone’s soul. Those were always the ones they seemed to gravitate towards.

Kageyama would spend countless hours explaining some of the paintings and sculptures that were scattered around the Aoba Johsai Castle and sometimes, when their schedules allowed, Oikawa would spend hours taking Kageyama around to see the multiple pieces that his family owned. They could sometimes spend many long moments caught in discussion about what one particular piece could mean and they found themselves running out of time to see them all more often than not.

One of the first times that Kageyama was sent out to see the market, Oikawa’s self proclaimed perfect way of meeting the people he might rule over, they had stopped by many stalls but the most memorable were those that were filled with crafts. Woodwork, steelwork, paintings and sculptures. There were many things that caught their eyes. They could never sit around in front of stalls and talk for long in fear that someone might recognize the crowned prince, but they chatted briefly as they walked through the streets.

That night he had come back to his room after supper and had found a wooden carving of a horseback archer that had caught his eye earlier that day. He had no memory of buying it himself or seeing Oikawa buy it for that matter. Though he was more than confused how it had gotten on his bedside table, he was careful to move it somewhere safer. A gift was a gift after all. Especially one so beautiful.

The next few days he found that this was a common occurrence. He would leave his room only to come back to find a new painting hung on one of his walls, or a new trinket placed carefully somewhere that he would notice it.

It went on for nearly a week before he finally caught a maid sneaking into his room followed by Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa carrying a painting and the tools to hang it.

Though he’d suspected it was Oikawa’s doing to begin with, seeing the three of them only cemented that it was.

That day when he was sat down with Oikawa to eat one of the very few meals they got to themselves, he finally asked about it, sure he wouldn’t mortify himself by accusing the wrong person or worse, have it get out that someone was gifting expensive things to the prince’s betrothed and start an all out manhunt.

“I want you to stop sending me gifts,” Kageyama stated simply.

Oikawa, however, choked on his wine. “Gifts? I haven’t been—”

“I watched three of your closest friends and your personal maid sneak into my room with a painting that is now hanging mysteriously on my wall just today.” For what it was worth, Oikawa looked at least a little embarrassed. “They’re all beautiful, but I can’t have you wasting all your money to buy things that I had pointed out just because you want to keep up appearances that this is working out just fine.”

There was a long silence where Oikawa wouldn’t meet his eyes at all. He didn’t even truly look like he was breathing. Kageyama had prepared to speak up again to express that he really had enjoyed receiving them and that he was touched that Oikawa would remember all of the pieces he’d pointed out as his favorites that day at the market, but Oikawa finally seemed to find his voice.

“That’s not why I did it.” He finally looked up at Kageyama and there was something in his eyes that made it hard to not look away. “When I was away from home, in Argentina, I missed it a great deal. One of the servants that looked after me, he started to give me little gifts from time to time. Things that reminded me of home or things that I had expressed that I enjoyed. I suppose I was trying to replicate that for you here. I wasn’t sure you’d accept anything directly from me, nor would I have expected you to.”

Kageyama had finally worked up the courage to look him in the eyes again. He needed to see him, to know that what he was saying was true. Never, had anyone in his social class done something so generous for him without expecting something in return. What he found in Oikawa’s eyes was a fondness. Something so sickly sweet it made his teeth ache.

He might have been a good actor but not that good.

The food served to them was suddenly very intriguing to Kageyama. “Thank you.”

There was a long silence before he could hear Oikawa laugh. He laughed for what felt like an eternity but was probably no longer than a few seconds before he took it upon himself to pour Kageyama some more wine and went back to eating.

He didn’t dare touch the wine. There was a strange fluttering that had started up in his stomach after he’d seen such genuine emotion from Oikawa. He was sure it must have been that he’d had too much to drink. He’d never been affected by such an intimate setting with him before. What else could it have possibly been besides the buzz of too much drink late into the evening.

When they were done and their supper plates were taken away, they were replaced quickly by fresh fruit and dessert that Kageyama could never finish. So many options of delicious sweets so soon after so much delicious food should have been a crime.

Oikawa had thanked the kitchen staff and requested that another bottle of wine be brought to them and before long they had another full bottle and were completely alone.

“I suppose I should apologize for putting you in a position like that.” Oikawa spoke so suddenly that Kageyama had to think for an extra moment to figure out what he was referencing.

He shrugged, “I feel we both might be at fault here.”

“Perhaps,” Oikawa took another long drink from his newly filled glass of wine as he thought. “Living somewhere unfamiliar was difficult. There were nights where I couldn’t sleep because I longed for my own bed and the smell of home. There were days I couldn’t speak with anyone because it reminded me that all my family and friends were here. I know your stay here is rather brief compared to my time away, but I’ve been trying to make it feel as close to home as I could.”

“Maybe it’s for the best if I learn how to survive Seijoh for what it is, not what you make it for me. We will have to travel back and forth for a while if this continues.” Kageyama had to look away from Oikawa as he smiled. That strange fluttering in his stomach had started again. He should have requested some water.

Oikawa slid a dessert he’d seen quite often but had never tried towards him. When he managed to look up and away from the plate all he found was an expectant look on the other’s face and something almost competitive in his eyes.

“Start here, then. You’ve been avoiding this for weeks. It’s a staple treat in Seijoh.”

So Kageyama tried. Who was he to say no when maybe this dessert might stop the strange dance of wings in his stomach.

—

The week of their departure for Karasuno was filled with loads of preparations and things to be done before Oikawa could safely leave with him.

They had been so busy doing their own separate tasks that they often hadn’t even had time to sit down together for meals like they normally did. Though it wasn’t so suspicious seeing as the king and queen themselves were just as busy and distant from each other trying to complete their own duties. Of course they’d hardly see each other.

Kageyama had almost rejoiced at the beginning of the week when he’d been told he would be mostly by himself until the day they shipped off. At first, it was nice too. As time went on though, there was a strange feeling that he was missing something that hung in the air no matter where he was or what he was doing.

He thought maybe at first that he really was missing something. He’d frantically check to make sure he had all of his things and that he’d done everything that needed to be done by the times it needed to be carried out. It was never that. He thought that it was homesickness that had started to fade over his time here, coming back strong now that he knew that he would be back home so soon. Though, when he thought of home it was a different ache. Then he wondered if it might have been that he hadn’t had any time for archery since the start of the week. Though, when he finally did find the time for himself to practice that feeling didn’t vanish.

It was only when he was summoned before the king and queen two days before they were set to leave that the feeling washed away.

When he joined them for supper that night he was surprised to find they were also joined by Oikawa. He was in a deep conversation with his mother about what the best way to eat chicken was when the servant that had guided Kageyama to the hall had sat him down next to Oikawa and poured him something to drink.

It was only after she was done that the king greeted him with some joke, that he had learned it was okay not to laugh at, that Oikawa looked away from his mother and right at him. The way he had expected the feeling of missing something fluttering away in the wind when he heard the thunk of the arrow hitting the target was what he experienced when Oikawa’s eyes met his.

Though it was a little alarming to realize it, he tried to keep that from showing. Not very well, however, since the same time that Oikawa’s brows began to furrow, the queen spoke up. “It's alright, you don’t have to worry about showing him affection here.”

Oikawa forgot all about whatever concern he had started to feel, gawking at his mother as the king grabbed her hand. “Being away from someone you’ve grown close to in such a way is difficult for anyone.”

Kageyama did his best not to laugh at the upending of his world. He wasn’t sure what else might happen to come out if he started laughing at the hilarity of it all. Realizing he was missing Oikawa, being told he should show him affection, and being accused of loving him the way married couples loved each other all in such a short time made his head spin.

“Tobio isn’t fond of affection in front of others.” Oikawa lied, picking at his food.

Well, he supposed it wasn’t really a lie, but it was a lie in the sense that he wasn’t fond of affection of that kind at all with Oikawa.

“Nothing to be done about that, I suppose,” The king chuckled and his family joined in. The queen eagerly, his son a little nervous. “You’ll have plenty of time yet to make up for the time you lost.”

Oikawa looked confused. Kageyama was the one to speak for them this time. “I’m sorry, sire, I’m not sure I understand.”

The king and queen shared a glance that seemed to hold a thousand words before Kageyama learned where Oikawa got that soft eager look in his eyes from as the queen started. “Since you both have worked so hard to make this trip back to Karasuno go well, we’ve decided that we’re going to send the two of you out early to camp tomorrow night.”

“To camp?” Oikawa’s nose turned up a bit. Kageyama tried to keep his from doing the same.

“You’ll be taken tomorrow morning to one of the houses we use for long hunting trips or trainings. It’s secluded and there will be a group of guards sent along to make sure the two of you remain unbothered.” The king winked in a way that Kageyama wished he had never seen. “Of course, they won’t be close enough to be a hindrance to you either. Think of it as an apology for taking so much time out of your courting.”

Oikawa had downed his wine in a single go and Kageyama was quick to follow.

And true to their word, that next morning Kageyama was dressed and shoved into a carriage across from Oikawa who looked like he had just rolled out of bed himself and they were on their way.

They didn’t arrive at the gates that surrounded the area of the house until about lunch time. When they finally reached the house past that, Kageyama was starving and Oikawa had already had to apologize about the noises his own stomach was making.

They were greeted with a meal that had already been cooked for them and shown around the place by the servants that had done so before they left and Oikawa and Kageyama were really alone.

Their things had been moved into a room for them already and much to Kageyama’s sorrow the rest of the rooms were locked with a key nowhere in sight. They’d have to decide later who would be sleeping on the floor. For now, they stuffed their faces in relative silence, not sure what to talk about or what to suggest that they do to take up time.

Oikawa had ended up resigning himself to their room to take a nap after Kageyama had found a book or two that he thought might hold his interest for most of the day. And they had, truthfully. Oikawa had joined him at some point with a book of his own and they sat in silence, reading until Kageyama had gotten up to suggest they cook dinner.

They found out soon enough that their skills in the kitchen were not the greatest, even with the two of them working together. After many failures, however, they managed to put together a decently edible meal by the time the sun had gone down and they had to pause to light candles and lamps.

They’d been taking sips of wine all through their cooking and much through the day. By the time they had sat down to eat, Kageyama's head felt a little heavy and Oikawa’s cheeks were pink, well on their way to being past tipsy and fully drunk. Yet, they poured themselves some wine at dinner too.

“Iwaizumi came here for training when we were kids,” Oikawa had stated as soon as they had started to eat. “He used to tell me all the time how beautiful the stars were out here at night.”

Kageyama nodded, “Was that what those stairs are for at the side of the house? My sister’s room used to have access to a portion of the castle roof. We would go up there a lot with my grandpa during the summer and try to count how many stars there were in the sky. Miwa and I would always fall asleep and he’d have to carry us back to our beds.”

It only dawned on him after he had looked up to see Oikawa smiling at him so softly that he was smiling himself. That he had laughed thinking about it. Then it seemed to dawn on him that he’d told such a story to Oikawa of all people. Someone he never would have imagined would get to know something so personal about him.

Most people when Kageyama spoke of his grandfather would tell him how sorry they were or give their condolences to his kingdom for losing such a great leader. Oikawa, however, just let the story be what it was. A story. A memory. Something that made him smile and something that shouldn’t be tainted by the sorrow of loss.

“Would you want to watch the stars tonight?” Was the question that he asked instead. Not asking if he missed him or how he was doing. He suggested they do something that would make him happy. That, if Kageyama had been in the business of falling for Oikawa Tooru, would have been very romantic. Romantic, though it wasn’t, it was still touching.

Kageyama had agreed after a few more sips of wine.

By the time that they made it to the roof Oikawa was having to support a bit of Kageyama’s weight and he felt a little like he was floating. Maybe that many glasses of wine at supper had been a bad idea. Though he wasn’t sure why it could be when he felt so light for the first time in a long time. He was strangely absent of any fluttering in his stomach, but maybe he had skipped right past that phase this time.

They were laid down, side by side and looking at the stars in silence for what felt like hours before Oikawa giggled a bit to his left.

“What? What is so funny?” Kageyama glanced at him expecting Oikawa to be looking at the sky. Instead he was looking right at him. It made him jump a little in surprise but mostly it made him notice that the fluttering had started again.

Oikawa reached out with a piece of cloth to wipe some of the sweat of summer away for him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so much, is all.”

The flutters got a little worse with every pass of the cloth on his forehead until it was gone. He thought maybe it had just tickled until once it was gone the flutters didn’t go away.

He must have drank far more than he thought.

“I have something to tell you,” Kageyama spoke suddenly. Oikawa looked a bit shocked but he kept his attention on Kageyama as if to say he was listening. “You are not as annoying as you used to be. I think I would be okay marrying someone like you.”

A myriad of different emotions passed over Oikawa’s features before he landed on one. Just a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes for some reason. Though Kageyama didn’t have the brain power to think of it as any more than one of his facades.

“Let’s not talk about that right now. We can forget about this whole stupid thing until the morning, alright?” Oikawa finally turned away from him then and back towards the stars so Kageyama followed. Who was he to argue when the stars were so elegant and the air reminded him of nights long past.

They talked about the constellations that they could find and tried to connect the stars to make shapes. Sometimes they’d laugh after they had argued over what could or couldn’t be counted as a win at these little games. Not that they were keeping score.

Kageyama wasn’t sure at what point he had fallen asleep or if he’d even meant to. The next morning the sun had shone in his eyes as a rude wake up call to find that he was neatly tucked into bed and Oikawa had made a makeshift bed on the floor for himself with some furs and a pillow. He looked restless and uncomfortable. It made Kageyama feel a bit selfish.

He got his payback for that when he sat up and the world around him spun as someone pounded against his head with a hammer.

Oikawa sat up when he groaned. He looked exhausted and still he winced in sympathy and told Kageyama to wait as he prepared something downstairs in the kitchen to help with the headache. He came back with some bread and a cup of something that smelled rotten but Kageyama thanked him anyway and downed it all.

They didn’t speak as they got ready for the carriage to arrive to start their journey to Karasuno.

Oikawa dragged his feet everywhere he went, exhausted from lack of sleep, Kageyama supposed. He wasn’t much better looking, he was sure of that. His head felt like someone had stabbed him and his arm hurt suspiciously like it might have been bruised on something when he was making his way to bed. Though he couldn’t remember walking himself there at all. Surely Oikawa hadn’t carried him.

When they had finally gotten in the carriage, half of the seats were filled with their things, they would have no choice but to spend the long journey riding side by side. It’s not that it would be cramped, it was just a line they had yet to cross. Yet, here they were being forced to cross it.

They still had yet to exchange words when about an hour into the ride Oikawa’s head fell to his shoulder. He was ready to turn and scowl at him, demanding that he sit back up and get out of his already limited space. He had been so prepared to get angry. Yet, when he looked at him, his anger seeped out of his body inch by inch.

Oikawa’s lashes were resting against his cheeks, throwing long, graceful shadows across his skin. Pink lips that Kageyama had been finding it increasingly hard last night to not stare at were parted, breath passing through them in gentle puffs. His chest rose and fell in a continuous pattern that mesmerized him for a long moment. His hair tickled where it rested against his jaw, soft and light like a feather.

In that moment Kageyama could understand what all the people who swooned over him were coming from.

Every ounce of fight in his body was long forgotten. He let himself relax back into the seat, head falling to rest his cheek on soft hair. His eyes must have fallen shut on their own because the next thing he noticed was a soft hand gently guiding his head off of Oikawa’s own and onto his shoulder instead.

He didn’t dare open his eyes. He would have rather died right there than let Oikawa know that he’d willingly let him move him like that.

“I am sorry,” was whispered into the air as his bangs were fixed by the gentlest of fingers to lay across his forehead correctly.

Kageyama was unsure of what he had to be sorry for. He wasn’t the one who had arranged their marriage. He surely wasn’t apologizing for having to move him or falling asleep on his shoulder was he? Maybe he was apologizing again for making him uncomfortable with all the gifts or for keeping him from home for so long now that they were on their way back.

He waited for what felt like ages for an answer to what he was apologizing for but it never came. Oikawa was silent for the rest of their ride.

Eventually, when the carriage stopped and the door opened, Kageyama had an excuse to pull his head off of Oikawa’s shoulder that wouldn’t result in them having to ride in awkward silence for the rest of the journey. As soon as it had opened Kageyama did his best to look as if he had been shocked awake even though he hadn’t slept a wink since Oikawa had spoken to him so gently.

He was helped out of the carriage and almost instantly sent toppling back into the door by a small but sturdy body.

“Oh, there is so much to tell you!” Was the first thing Hinata said to him, and Kageyama would have scolded him if he hadn’t knocked the air out of him and then continued to restrict his lungs with a rib crushing hug. “Was it awfully boring in Seijoh? I have to know! Yamaguchi bet me good money that you would come back looking like a mess so we have to go straight to hi—”

Hinata was flicked on the forehead by Yamaguchi himself who frowned at him before turning to greet Kageyama with a deep bow.

“Welcome home, Your Highness.” he smiled so bright Kageyama wished to look away.

Oikawa had joined him at his side when he had been distracted. “You seem to have quite the welcome committee.”

Hinata’s chest puffed out a bit in that annoying way it did when someone of a higher status complimented something he did. Yamaguchi, however, was far too busy sizing up his outfit to do anything but just stare, which was a little unnerving even when he was the one that wasn’t under his gaze for once.

They chatted Oikawa up the whole way to Kageyama’s room, where his things were dropped off and then, much to his dismay, Oikawa’s as well. His parents wouldn’t budge on this matter he was sure. He would just have to sneak away to sleep on Hinata’s floor every night. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done so before when he wished to not be found.

The servants wished Oikawa a wonderful stay and left. Yamaguchi, ever special, dragged him over to a wooden rack full of outfits that would better suit his stay here in Karasuno. Oikawa looked a little overwhelmed but he made easy conversation with Yamaguchi anyway.

Hinata poked his side harder than strictly needed and then dodged a counterattack with ease. “I haven’t had a partner to practice with for ages.”

If he was being completely honest, Kageyama had been more than jealous every time he had been called down to the archery range to see that Iwaizumi and Oikawa were practicing together the same way that he would have been able to back here at home with Hinata. It made him ache for his return that much more. Now that he was here, remembering that feeling though, it felt like a crime to put Oikawa through that same thing.

“After supper,” Kageyama spoke in a hushed tone. “I don’t want to make our guest uncomfortable so keep your mouth shut about it.”

Hinata winked at him in a way that made his stomach curl in a strange mixture of disgust at the fact that he was an awful winker and a sensation of butterflies at the thought of what he was winking about. Which, turned into full disgust when he realized those butterflies were kicked into motion by thinking about Oikawa.

“If it would please Your Highnesses, I could coordinate your supper outfits.” Yamaguchi was looking over Oikawa who had at some point fully changed into something he had found more suitable. He paid absolutely no attention to Kageyama who he had just punched in the gut with his words.

He wished to deny the offer, but it would please his parents to see them getting along so well, wouldn’t it? Though maybe they would think it was a little fast to start being so open about their engagement in his own kingdom who had simply heard about the news. Who had not welcomed guests for years. Maybe it would anger them more than anything. This was supposed to be a move for peace more than a show of love. Perhaps making it such would upset them.

A warm hand on his shoulder kept him from spiraling even more. He had given Yamaguchi an affirmative answer before he realized that Oikawa was gone from in front of him. Slowly, he seemed to realize that the hand on his shoulder was far softer than Hinata’s.

Oikawa was standing where Hinata had been, squeezing his shoulder gently as if he had done it a million times before. Something akin to warmth spread through his chest. Followed closely by a defensive anger that made him slap the hand away before he had really thought it through.

“You don’t have to pretend like this is real around them.” He spit out. The three of them staring at them in shock was too much for him to take. “I’m going to find mother and father.”

He was halfway down the corridor before he gained a little sense back.

It had been dramatic. Much too dramatic. He would have to apologize to all of them when he had cooled off a little more. It’s not as though Oikawa knew that he didn’t have to pretend. Nothing had given him that clue and Kageyama hadn’t told him in all his confusion to try to understand what Oikawa’s soft words had meant. He wasn’t sure why it had made him so angry to think he was pretending though. They had been doing so for weeks now in Seijoh. It was no different here.

He made it all the way to the stables before familiar footsteps made themselves known to him.

“If you’re looking for Yamaguchi or Hinata they’re in my chambers,” Kageyama reached out to stroke his hand along the soft hair of Hinata’s horse, delighting in the way that it leaned into him even after being away for so long.

Tsukishima leaned against the stall next to him, arms crossed. “You look like hell.”

“You always look like hell.” Kageyama snapped back.

Tsukishima laughed, a sound that Kageyama was never sure what to feel about. It was like it was impossible to tell the difference between his scoffing laugh and that very rare laugh of genuine happiness. Years of growing closer together had done nothing for his ability to tell either. It frustrated him.

“I hear you brought your newest courting partner back here.” The knight busied himself with whatever he had come to do. “I take it that means it’s going well?”

Kageyama had to laugh. “Far from it.”

Tsukishima merely hummed from somewhere behind him. Waiting for him to continue. He had no plans to pull anything more out of Kageyama than he wanted to tell him. On the outside, he might have been an asshole, but at least he could be a considerate asshole at times.

“I want this to work,” Kageyama rested his forehead against the horse’s own, letting his eyes close. “For the kingdoms. I want the people to be able to sleep at night knowing that they won’t have to worry about war. I’m not naive enough to think that even if this engagement does work out that all our problems will disappear but at least the people won’t have to worry for their lives and their freedom.”

“Well if it’s out of a sense of duty, you’ve never had problems with that before so why start now?” Tsukishima sounded like he was feeding the horses behind him now.

He was right. Why was it an issue? Ah, that was it. “Oikawa has admirers from all over the kingdoms. Royal and otherwise. Me, I’ll have to marry out of duty, that much I’m certain of, but he could marry for love if he truly wanted to. I’ll be the one holding him back from that if this works out.”

Tsukishima stopped moving behind him and went far too silent for his comfort. He had turned to chew him out but the pure shock in his eyes scared the words right out of him.

“You’re upset because you want Prince Oikawa to be happy and you think you can’t give him that?” Tsukishima looked like he was having trouble saying the words. Kageyama wasn’t really sure why but he wished he’d had a little more trouble with them because now that they were out he was slapped with the truth of what his worries had been.

The shock faded from his face, replaced with his normal condescending smirk, “Sounds to me like you’re a little jealous.”

“Stay out of it.” Kageyama scoffed.

Or at least he attempted to. His brain had kicked into overdrive again. He was worried that he couldn’t make Oikawa happy. He was jealous? Was he jealous? He couldn’t be jealous. He was just feeling guilty for holding Oikawa back from true love that he could easily find. That was all. Nothing deeper. He was sure of it. Or at least he had been until this morning.

This morning. What had Oikawa been apologizing for? If anything, Kageyama should have been the one apologizing. What for though?

He had bid Tsukishima a bitter goodbye and given Hinata’s horse a good pat on the neck before he had taken off for the archery range.

He had notched arrow after arrow, clearing out targets only to fill them up over and over again. He was sure he had torn at least a few of the stitches in his sleeves and Yamaguchi would scold him for that later but he couldn’t care. Not when the feeling, the sound, the sight of it all eased his nerves and racing mind. There was nowhere in the world he was more comfortable than with a bow in hand.

It was just before he could no longer see the sun dipping below the horizon that he finally stopped to let himself feel again. Which he regretted almost instantly. His arms ached in a way that hours of practice brought on and his stomach growled like a beast starved. He took in the damage to his tunic and found that one of his sleeves was barely hanging on by a few stitches at this point. His trousers were dirty at the knees from kneeling down to pick arrows out of targets. He was in no shape to appear before his parents like this.

Yamaguchi would be able to get him ready before the sun fully set if he headed back then. Though he was sure to get an earful while he did.

Having no choice, he packed up his bow and arrows and made his way back to his chambers.

Yamaguchi was waiting, hands on his hips like he could sense Kageyama from down the corridor and needed to make him feel worse about losing track of time than he already did. It’s not like he enjoyed making Yamaguchi rush through getting him ready for things. He tried to say as much but he was hushed and shoved towards the bathwater to clean up.

His hair was slicked back to help hide the fact that it was partially wet by the time he was ready to leave for dinner. Yamaguchi, sensing that he was already dreading dinner, kept his outfit simple and pleasant in the ways that he did best. A rather flowy deep blue tunic tucked away into nice black trousers, the strings kept loose instead of pulled tight, to expose far more of his chest than he thought strictly necessary. He had scolded Yamaguchi for this particular choice many times since he’d gotten older. Not that the other listened to him. His boots clicked nicely against familiar floors as he worked on autopilot to join his awaiting parents and betrothed at their table.

Oikawa looked more or less dressed to impress. The same way that Kageyama had always requested to be dressed when meeting with the king and queen. It was to be expected, he supposed. They needed to keep up their act of caring in front of their parents the most. Though that didn’t explain the way that he had to take a few deep breaths to calm the way that his heart had kicked into overdrive when he had seen him.

His hair was placed perfectly on top of his head, void of a crown but that did nothing to make him look any less demanding of attention in the large room. He was engaged in a conversation with Kageyama’s father, jaw hid slightly by the height of his collar. The style of doublet had never been one Kageyama had thought suited anyone, but somehow it looked nothing less than regal when Oikawa wore it. It was a simple light blue with white detailing around the edges and white buttons holding it together down the front. He looked comfortable. All the better, when his parents would undoubtedly keep them there for hours discussing the finer details of things.

“You’re quite funny,” Kageyama’s mother’s voice reached his ears in a strange tone that he hadn’t heard much since his grandfather had passed. His head snapped up to catch the last pieces of a shine in her eyes and a smile on her painted lips.

Oikawa looked almost bashful under the weight of her compliment.

With the last seconds of shock fading from his limbs, Kageyama took his seat next to Oikawa. Silent.

He noticed Oikawa taking in his outfit. He didn’t miss the way that he had panicked and averted his eyes when he had been caught staring a little too long at the loose strings. Not that Kageyama cared. He could be jealous of the muscle he had worked so hard to build all he wanted. It didn’t do a thing to him.

While Kageyama was busy pretending to listen to what his parents had to say, Oikawa leaned in closer, warm breath against his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa mumbled close to his ear when his mother and father had begun their own conversation. “For earlier.”

Earlier. Kageyama had forgotten all about his little temper tantrum. The fact that Oikawa had apologized to him as if he’d done something wrong placed a sour flavor on his tongue. It hadn’t been his fault, not really. Kageyama should have told him that he trusted Yamaguchi and Hinata with his life. He could trust them with a secret. How would Oikawa have known that?

He wanted to say all of that. Instead, what he said was, “You just surprised me.”

Oikawa seemed to catch on somehow. He nodded, a thought crossing his features before it was replaced by a gentle smile. So gentle that it somehow made his traitorous heart start up again in his chest. Very slowly, as if approaching a frightened animal, Oikawa grabbed his hand in his own and sat them gently between their plates on the table.

He was one hell of an actor, Kageayma would give him that much. He was in on their plan, a part of it even and he had almost been fooled for a minute. His heart sure had been.

“How was your time in Aoba Johsai, Tobio?” His father shocked him out of staring at their hands (which he hadn’t realized he had been frozen doing for far too long now). “I assume you were on your best behavior? No complaints about how you acted?”

Kageyama nodded, “The king and queen were very kind to me. Their staff is exceptional.” At annoying me.

His mother smiled, not the genuine split of her lips that she had given Oikawa earlier, but something much more bitter beneath the surface. She said nothing to him, instead her eyes flitted between their hands and his face a few times.

He had tried to pull his hand from Oikawa’s, but, with surprising strength, the other kept their hands clasped together, flashing a rather bitter-toned smile of his own in the direction of his parents. And as much as they had perfected the look themselves, they seemed to get nothing but the surface from Oikawa’s own look.

“My father said to let you know Kageyama is welcome any time he wishes to visit during our time apart. He thinks Kageyama will make a wonderful ruler someday, and insisted that I could learn a thing or two from him.” Kageyama, along with his parents, stared at Oikawa in awe for a long moment and before anyone could say anything, Oikawa was speaking again. “My mother would gush about how well mannered he was and how he carries himself with more pride and honesty than she has ever seen from a royal so young. My staff were honored to serve someone so pleasant. Your son is exceptional. I am extremely lucky and honored to have him.”

Kageyama was sure he was pulling most of this out of his ass. The thought was touching, and maybe a little more with the way he couldn’t stand to look at him. He was sure he was blushing though he wasn’t exactly sure why. It’s not like he actually cared what Oikawa thought of him. As long as he was allowed to marry him and join their kingdoms, he was satisfied.

“You’re a very bold young man.” His father finally commented.

“Just honest.” Oikawa squeezed his hand and for the first time, Kageyama noticed his hands were shaking.

He squeezed back.

They finally let go of each other when their food was served. The meal was fast. The happy air that had been in the room before Kageyama had arrived was banished for good when Oikawa had stood up for him. He wasn’t sure if his parents were more shocked or angry. Whatever it was, Kageyama was eager to talk to Oikawa about just shutting his mouth and nodding along if they ever wanted his parents to approve of them.

When his father dismissed them, he bowed his head and grabbed Oikawa by the wrist, dragging him from the room while he rushed to also bid goodbye to his parents.

He didn’t let go until they were outside their shared chamber, and he felt like he could breathe again.

“You can’t do that.” Kageyama rushed out.

Oikawa, not that it was a shock, looked a little confused. “I can’t do what?”

“Stand up to them like that. You just have to smile and nod like a good little royal and pretend that anything they say is correct.” Kageyama opened the door, Oikawa following him obediently inside. Yamaguchi and Hinata were sat, having a conversation that stopped as soon as Oikawa shot back his response.

He scoffed, “You just let them insult you like that? What kind of parents do that?”

Kageyama tried his best to keep his temper in check. He had seen how Oikawa lived. It was only normal he would have trouble adjusting. “Mine.”

“But they shouldn’t–” Oikawa cut himself off to take a deep breath. The next time he spoke it was much softer. “What I said was true. You impress people. They have no right to look at you like that and insinuate that you’re still some hormonal teenager that has no discipline.”

Had Kageyama thought about it a little more he maybe would have laughed that he was insinuating everything he said was true. Including being lucky to have him. That was the furthest thing from his mind now.

“Do you remember when I asked you if you could stand to never be able to openly love if that meant our people get to live in peace?” Oikawa nodded, so he continued. “I need you to understand that this is my payment for this. I have to put up with this and so do you. If we don’t and they cut off this engagement we both know what that will mean for our kingdoms.”

Oikawa sat himself down on the edge of Kageyama’s mattress and rubbed a hand over his eyes. He was silent for a long time. Long enough for Kageyama to realize that Hinata and Yamaguchi were still very present in the room and that for some reason that felt very shameful. His gut twisted, cheeks getting hot.

“Yamaguchi, see to it that Oikawa is taken care of by your best hands. He will be staying here tonight.” He turned to Hinata and jerked his head towards the door. “You, come with me. I’m sleeping in your bed.”

Hinata spluttered, “My bed? You know, the floor is pretty comfy if you lay some hay down.”

“Perfect,” Kageyama smiled cooly at him and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Then you’ll be perfectly fine to let me have your mattress. Come on.”

He had spent the whole night listening to Hinata’s snoring, tossing and turning. He would have been able to block out the noise, the reason for his lack of sleep was thinking about how fast this all was happening. How real everything felt to him. How stupid he felt for falling for Oikawa’s charms when he knew they were fake. All just a show to please those around them.

He finally drifted off, staring at the hand that Oikawa had held as he had bragged about him. That he had held even when he was shaking enough Kageyama could feel it. That Kageyama had held right back.

In his dreams that soft hand was felt on his shoulders, on his own hands, his cheek, his hair, gently stroking and deep eyes smiled at him in the way that they did when Oikawa held a bow in his hands after a particularly good shot.

—

The next time that Oikawa and Kageyama had sat down to have a meal together, his parents had politely declined the request to eat with them. And again the next meal and again…and again. They declined every meal invite that was sent their way, and though Kageyama kept sending them, they eventually stopped responding at all. Oikawa had even tried to send an invite himself once or twice but they had responded no to those as well. Kageyama would see them every now and then passing by in the corridor but it was like they couldn’t see him. Why he had been expecting things to change with the arrival of Oikawa he wasn’t sure.

His parents had never changed for any of his engagements before. Oikawa wasn’t special.

Unlike how they had avoided meals together in Aoba Johsai, here in Karasuno, Kageyama and Oikawa ate most meals together. On the rare occasion that Kageyama had some business that kept him from meeting Oikawa, he would send Hinata in his place. Those two got along swimmingly. Which was only mildly annoying.

Oikawa was able to take a little of the physical work off of Kageyama’s shoulders however. When Hinata wished to practice and Kageyama had been working the whole day, instead of having to leave Hinata yearning to get out and do something, he could send him Oikawa’s way. They seemed to enjoy working together. He had even stopped by to watch a few of their practice runs to watch them from afar.

Tsukishima had caught him one night and had teased him the whole time he was tending to the horses. He insisted that Kageyama must be jealous, but for some reason, it wasn’t jealousy that kept him coming back. In fact, it was almost a bit of pride. Watching Hinata impress Oikawa with his skill. There was something else there when Oikawa would laugh or flash a big smile. Something that made it feel like someone was messing with the rhythm in his chest.

Oikawa and Kageyama had nights where Hinata was so busy that they would go out together and shoot at the targets well into the night. Sometimes, if they were too tired by the third or fourth shot, they would instead take to horses and race around the castle grounds, taking in the stars and competing playfully.

Having Hinata by his side as he grew into his adulthood had been a blessing, but with Oikawa there it felt almost like filling a bit of a hole that had been left next to what Hinata had managed to patch up. One man could only do so much.

There had been one late afternoon that they had ridden out to a place that Yamaguchi had insisted they needed to visit and had found a couple bottles of wine and some snacks stashed away for them to entertain themselves well into the night with.

It was starting to become chilly in Karasuno as it got dark. The kind of weather that even with the heat of alcohol in their systems Kageyama had been left shivering into the dark of the night. Oikawa, the bastard, seemed completely fine. It got far colder far more often where he was from, Kageyama knew as much.

He had smiled at him and gently, with that same look of approaching a frightened animal, pulled him into his side. Kageyama might have protested if he hadn’t been so warm. So instead, he scooted in closer and got comfortable.

At some point, he had wound up laying mostly on his stomach against the warm blanket with Oikawa draped on top of him gently. He had drifted off like that, giggling at some stupid shape that Oikawa insisted he could make out in the grass since they couldn’t see the stars any longer.

He had awoken the next morning with a killer headache and hazy images of their cuddling that he refused to believe were anything but another strange dream.

Surely it was nothing more than that. Certainly because he could remember soft lips against the crown of his head, muttering that he didn’t need the stars when Kageyama’s eyes held a whole galaxy in them. Oikawa was cheesy, he was sure of it, but he couldn’t be that cheesy. Not with Kageyama.

Hinata had nursed him back to a functioning human being and then shooed him off to go meet with his parents and their guards to discuss how to make sure their security continued to work.

Oikawa fit right in at Karasuno. The staff adored him, complimented Kageyama on a job well done, keeping this one around. Oikawa loved the attention that they would give him when they asked about his home. He loved it even more when they would ask about where he had traveled and what he had done when he was away.

Those moments were some of the few that Kageyama was sure his true emotions were shining through. His smiles were always the most beautiful in the room. His eyes were the softest and free he had seen them.

It had been a joke, but Kageyama hadn’t been sure why he had reacted to it like he did. One afternoon when Oikawa was caught up in conversation with some of the service staff, a young woman, around their age, had leaned down to tease about keeping a good eye on his betrothed or she’d steal him right out from under his nose.

A harmless joke.

Kageyama had been livid.

“I do appreciate your hard work, but I believe you can be excused now.” Was all he had said, but it had been enough to pull Oikawa out of the end of his own conversation and glancing between the two of them with concern written on his face.

The young woman had scurried off with a proper apology and a deep bow.

He had felt guilty the moment he couldn’t see her any longer, but the way Oikawa came closer to check if he was okay was almost worth it.

He had decided since Oikawa had been in his home that the way he felt about him was the way he felt about Hinata. He could admit that much. He was mature enough to know that their relationship had changed from strained to something that was much closer than even what Kageyama felt for Yamaguchi. He could say it to Oikawa by the beginning of the second month he had been with them.

He had called him friend for the first time and Oikawa had smiled so bright he was sure he might go blind.

That was all he felt for him though. A deep admiration and friendship. There was nothing more there. It had been a while since the beginning of his friendship with Hinata but he was sure he must have felt this exact same way then. What else would be the explanation for the way that he seemed to lose his composure around Oikawa more than he wished to.

Kageyama had approached him about coming to stay back in his own room that next week. They had agreed that they would trade off every night on who would have to sleep on a cot and who would get the bed. It hadn’t been all bad. For starters, it made it easier to sleep in and not worry about his parents finding they were not sleeping in the same room. Oikawa also didn’t snore like Hinata did.

The only downsides were having to wait longer to bathe on nights where Oikawa got in before him. Or the fact that Oikawa preferred to sleep shirtless because it was far too hot for his liking in the room. Kageyama had deduced what he felt when he was left to stare at Oikawa’s back from the bed was jealousy. Nothing more.

He was blushing into the dark out of shame. That was all.

They received their first invite to eat with his parents after another week. They insisted on a quick breakfast, which meant that Kageyama had to be up before the sun was to make sure that he and Oikawa looked presentable enough to meet his parents. They had each gone through three or four outfits before he had been satisfied that they looked in unison and good enough.

When they had walked into the hall, his parents were silent, eyes trained directly on them. Their plates looked finished and there were no plates set out for Oikawa and himself. So it had really just been a way to get them both at once. That never meant anything good.

Out of instinct, as his anxiety spiked, he grabbed ahold of Oikawa’s hand and squeezed gently. The man to his right tensed, shocked, before he relaxed into it and squeezed right back. It brought a feeling over him similar to the way that Hinata made him feel when he grabbed his shoulder. Maybe a little more easing even.

“We have important business to leave for tonight,” his father started, waving over one of the service staff to clear their plates and another followed to start to put plates down for Kageyama and Oikawa where they normally sat together. “We wanted to tell you about something before we left. You, I’m sure, will need to work on your skills since you’ve neglected your proper studies for so long.”

Oikawa’s hand tightened around his own, but he kept quiet.

“Studies, father?” Kageyama was confused on what he could have possibly been slacking on all these years. He had done everything he could to prepare himself to take the throne the day that his sister decided that she wanted to live her life for love and not for a crown.

This time his mother answered. “I wish to have a ball held here in honor of your engagement.”

Kageyama was almost sure he was going to have to pick his and Oikawa’s jaws up off the floor. His father scoffed at their shock, as if they hadn’t once been known for grand, show-stopping balls that would go on for two or three nights at a time when his grandfather was still on the throne.

No one had been turned away from the celebrations when Kageyama Kazuyo had been alive. He always proposed that the more dancers, the better the dance. Kageyama had very fond memories of those dances, though vague because of his young age. When their grandfather died, he and his sister begged to continue the dances in his honor. His parents had agreed, but the guests were limited and things had never truly been as grand again.

Once his sister left, the events had stopped altogether. Kageyama hadn’t seen a ball held since Miwa had stormed out of his life at ten-years-old.

Oikawa was the first to speak up, “Your majesties, with all due respect, I do not want you to feel obligated to partake in practices that my people expect of me for the sake of this engagement.”

Kageyama’s father shrugged at him and his mother stayed silent for a long moment before answering him, “One festivity won’t hurt. Miwa was sent off to her engagement with a ball, it seems only right that we do the same for our heir and the man that has finally forced his picky heart to settle down.”

Kageyama would have rather died than felt the way that Oikawa’s shoulder rose and fell on a gentle, stifled laugh. He wasn’t sure if it was out of joy or if he was laughing at the idea of Kageyama’s heart being picky, but it was not appreciated either way.

His father clapped him on the shoulder as he was walking past, to make his exit. He said nothing but a reminder to practice his skills before they returned so they could assess if they would send out the invitations or not.

There was only one slight problem. Hinata had never danced in his life and Yamaguchi was dreadful at it. He would rather have died than ask Tsukishima to teach him to do anything. That left dragging some poor servant away from their work, or…no.

He would under no circumstances be asking Oikawa Tooru of all people to teach him to dance. He’d practice with the pigs before he practiced anything with that jerk. They may have been on civil terms, even friendly, but Kageyama’s pride was still on the line here.

Maybe if he sent their fastest rider out tonight, he could get a letter to Miwa on the outskirts of the kingdom. She would surely remember how to dance. Maybe she wouldn’t mind making the trip to the castle and back to teach him if he made it seem like an emergency.

His mother and father left him there, head reeling with how he was going to prove himself worthy of bringing back such a wonderful tradition when the last time he had danced was at ten. He was still thinking rather hard when Oikawa had used his grip on Kageyama’s hand to guide him towards the table where their food was waiting for them.

Sitting down obediently, he ate numbly and silently the whole meal. Oikawa, however, looked rather like an excited puppy. He was practically bouncing in his seat as he relayed all the wonderful memories he had tied to dances from when they were young at Karasuno or dances and celebrations in the places that he had lived. Kageyama tried his best to pay attention, but he failed miserably. Not that the other seemed to notice at all. He filled their meal with a very one-sided conversation that continued all the way back to their room.

“— and I figured I’d be teaching you.” Oikawa ripped him out of his thoughts.

“Teaching me?” Kageyama scoffed. “You don’t have to teach me anything. Dancing can’t be that hard when you’ve done it before. Besides, even if I don’t meet their standards it’s not as if they’ll really cancel it. You saw the way my mother looked. And my father knows it’s a way to warn everyone that our kingdoms are going to become a serious threat if messed with.”

Oikawa smirked at him, a look that he still wasn’t sure how it filled him with rage and made his stomach flutter at the same time. He assumed it was just a way that Oikawa made him mad in ways no one else could. A look that also meant he could see right through the bullshit that Kageyama was spouting, not that he would let him know that for sure.

Yamaguchi cleared his throat at the doorway making Kageyama jump and Oikawa’s smirk melt into a friendly smile. Hinata followed him in and winked obnoxiously enough at Kageyama that he just couldn’t control his arm well enough to keep it from smacking him lightly across the back of his head.

Oikawa was taken behind a privacy screen to bathe first that night, much to Kageyama’s demise.

He felt sticky, itchy. He wanted to crawl right out of his skin and never come back.

Though, even when he had bathed, it did nothing to help that nervous feeling that was filling him. It kept him up late into the night, tossing and turning uncomfortably in the cot until he couldn’t take it any longer. He needed to be comfortable in his bed if he hoped to ever get to sleep that night.

He grabbed a pillow and smacked it down against Oikawa’s face, startling him awake. “I need the bed.”

Oikawa, eyes drowsy and barely staying open long enough to look at him, simply scooted over and patted the space that was unoccupied now.

His breathing evened out again before Kageyama could protest that he meant for them to switch spots. He felt a little bad about waking him to begin with after the rush of whatever emotion it had been that pushed him out of his cot and into action had faded from his system. The idea of sleeping in that god awful cot still gave him chills, however, so he climbed under the covers and let himself drift off to the steady sound of Oikawa’s breathing behind him.

The first time he awoke that morning, he was sure it was some strange dream. The feeling of tiniest bits of morning sun warming the room and the smooth glide of arms around his middle, pulling him closer together under the covers lulled him back to sleep in his dream world.

The next time he woke up in his strange dream was to gentle fingers against his cheek and sweet whispered words about how gorgeous he looked. Whoever it was sounded so genuine that Kageyama couldn’t help but smile just a bit as he let the drag of sleep take him away again.

The first time he had awoken outside of a dream, he was sure, was to an empty bed behind him and a lingering tingling against his cheek that he thought must have been due to the rays of sun fluttering around the room.

Oikawa sat at his desk, reading over a letter that he had written, if the bit of ink on his hands was anything to go by. Kageyama watched him like that for a while. Admiring the fact that his hair always seemed to fall just right without the help of a brush or something to hold it there. Oikawa stood to stretch suddenly and Kageyama was caught.

“You’re up.” Oikawa nodded as a greeting. “Did you sleep well after you moved?”

Kageyama nodded, “I had a strange dream.”

“Strange?” Kageyama contemplated answering Oikawa’s question for a long moment before the answer to the debate was given to him by Oikawa moving on. “One of the kitchen staff came by early this morning and let me know we are free to make our own meal schedule today.”

That’s normally how it went when his parents were absent. Since they were really the only ones besides the other staff that were being cooked for, the meals would be simple, quick and easy to make. Kageyama quite preferred days like this. Less waste and waiting. Plus, he could sleep in as late as he wanted without being worried about his parents scolding him for missing breakfast.

“I’d like to stay in bed a little longer,” Kageyama sunk back under the covers. “You enjoy breakfast.”

It took a little more convincing to get Oikawa to leave without him, but once he was gone it felt like Kageyama could breathe again. Not that Oikawa had even done anything other than exist in his space. He was starting to think that was the real problem.

That day he vowed that the only time he would spend with Oikawa at all that day and possibly that week would be during meals and just before bed. Maybe time away from him could help Kageyama figure out why he made him feel so strange. Maybe he had fooled himself into thinking he actually liked him. Maybe deep down Kageyama still despised Oikawa. Maybe he had just been spending too much time with him and he was starting to get on his nerves. It had happened more than once with Hinata. He supposed it was normal. Maybe it happened to be something new that he would have to figure out, though that option sounded the most exhausting and he sincerely hoped it wasn’t the case.

He spent his evening out and about to keep from running into Oikawa, ate lunch with him and then spent his afternoon until dinner helping Hinata try to learn how to dance. Though neither of them were very good, the only thing they got out of it was a lot of shouting about who would lead and bruised feet. Then it was dinner with Oikawa and off to take a ride, alone, around the castle grounds until the sun set and it was dark enough to justify going to bed. Every day after was a little different, but they were all relatively shaped in the same manner.

The week went smoothly in avoiding Oikawa, it however, did not go very smoothly in trying to find why he felt the way he did around him. Or at explaining why the things that he did to pass time weren’t nearly as fun without Oikawa around to do it with him.

Before he could fully figure out what it was, the week was over and his parents had returned home with the news that they had decided they would host the ball regardless. Oikawa seemed ecstatic to hear that the invitations would go out that next morning and the ball would be held at the end of the month. Only a couple weeks away now.

So, not entirely on purpose or all of his own volition, Kageyama continued to avoid Oikawa. He was shoved into lessons with some of the staff by his mother when she had seen his awful dancing. And then he avoided those as well by having Hinata help break him out and hide him around the castle all day after making a deal with whoever his teacher was not to tell the king and queen what they had done.

It was rare that their schedules lined up so that they could eat together and Oikawa was normally in bed by the time that Kageyama got back every night because of his own preparations for the festivities taking all of his energy.

He noticed, as time went on, that Oikawa stopped smiling as much even when they did have time to meet together. Kageyama had figured it was simply the fact that he was working hard to make sure that he knew all the customs and had everything perfect in order to impress everyone. He must have been exhausted.

They went on like that, being fitted for outfits, hardly speaking a word to each other. Every day that little hole that Hinata hadn’t quite been able to fill on his own would break open a tiny bit. It broke until it felt like there was no part of the repairs Oikawa had done left.

It felt like the end of the month couldn’t come fast enough for Kageyama.

—

When the end of the month finally did come, it hit him like he hadn’t been counting down the days. That morning he had been dragged out of bed by Yamaguchi and made to start getting ready. There would be a feast to entertain guests that had come early as well as some different festivities and competitions around the castle grounds. Kageyama ached to join in on the sound of archery in the distance out his window but instead he was sat down and told what his schedule would be as he was made up to look far fancier than he ever had before.

They tried on so many outfits that he lost count. None of them satisfied both Yamaguchi and himself. The ones that Kageyama liked, Yamaguchi thought were too simple. The ones Yamaguchi liked, Kageyama felt like a fool in. Well, a fool or a brothel worker. (He’d told Yamaguchi as much and gotten a good smack to the shoulder for it).

They hadn’t settled their arguments before lunch was delivered to them both and they were made to take a break to eat. While they were eating, Kageyama had asked where Oikawa had been taken to. It was of course, custom that they not see each other until the dance, but Kageyama had offered to be the one to move. The fact that they had made Oikawa move somewhere else angered him a small bit.

Yamaguchi said that Oikawa had insisted on moving because this had never been his space in the first place. For some reason, that comment soured Kageyama’s appetite so they were up and busy again in no time.

It took them until the sun had started to set and the guests had started to get ready themselves to find an outfit that they could both agree on.

It was a simple black top, falling to his mid thigh. The fabric itself started out black and faded into an orange that he had never been overly fond of but didn’t look awful. One of the sleeves was long, stopping at his wrist, so tight he was scared if he moved he might break the stitching. The other sleeve stopped at his elbow, the only covering on his right arm besides that was a simple black glove. His pants were far too tight, Yamaguchi had smirked when he’d said so. They rose up to his waist, just below the point where his shirt slit to show more skin than he was normally comfortable with. There was a painstakingly hand sewn ribbon that ran from the middle of his calf to the top of his knee in the same striking orange. The open collar of the shirt tickled his jaw when he moved his head.

Yamaguchi had complimented him in tremendous amounts when he had seen him fully put together. Kageyama had tried to pretend to be annoyed, but he was rather flattered, truthfully.

Walking down the hallway towards the sound of music was a surreal experience. Suddenly, Kageyama felt as if he was young again. Holding tightly to Miwa’s hand as they rushed to join in on the fun and argue to take turns dancing with their grandfather. He wished Miwa were there now to hold his hand as he walked now. Yamaguchi hadn’t been able to come with him, nor had Hinata. He was alone in this strangely long journey towards the guards waiting at the doors to signal for them to announce his arrival and let him in. All eyes would be on him the moment he reached those doors.

“Tobio!” The voice behind him was followed by rushed footsteps.

Oikawa approached him quickly, but not quick enough. He looked beautiful.

He was wearing an elegant velvet top, held together in front by gold buttons. There was golden embroidery down the front, leaves attached by expensive looking vines in one continuous swerve around the buttons. His collar, as well, was probably tickling his jaw, a strip of light blue fabric making it stand out all the more. His cuffs and pants were made of that same fabric, all velvet and so soft looking. Kageyama had the urge to reach out and touch it. He didn’t.

They reached the doors together in silence, but the fact that Oikawa was there, next to him, made the whole walk and idea of what was about to happen seem a little less scary.

There were three precise knocks given before they could hear the muffled cry of trumpets and the announcement of their titles as the doors swung open and they walked arm-in-arm together.

There were cheers and gasps alike as they waded through the parting sea of people and took their place next to Kageyama’s parents. There was silence as soon as they were still, eager ears waiting to hear what the occasion was again and what the royal family had to say about it. Kageyama was sure there were some ears eager to listen just to get it over with so that they could take a chance to dance with a royal and try to propose something. Money, deals, sex, and so much more that Kageyama had experienced at one too many events like this.

His father gave a short and sweet speech to thank the guests for coming to help celebrate a wonderful union of two kingdoms and then let the festivities commence again. Oikawa was swept away by pretty person after pretty person, never one to turn down a dance. He hardly left the dancefloor after it started.

Kageyama had a seat, signaling he wasn’t interested in dancing, asked to be brought his first cup of wine for the night and sat back to watch.

—

The music was loud in his ears, but this corner was the only place he felt he was at a safe enough distance from the crowd that no one would find him and ask to dance to appease his parents or try to strike any deals with him. It used to happen even at dances when he was a child with no sway in the royal court. His perch in his makeshift throne at the front of it all had turned out to be a horrible hiding spot.

He sipped on his unknown number glass of wine, watching Hinata twirl around the floor with a pretty blonde woman. They were laughing and stumbling yet somehow it was one of the most beautiful things in the ballroom. Yachi, he thought her name was. She was one of the stablegirls. Hinata was tapped politely on the shoulder by a girl with short cropped brown hair who asked to take his place as Yachi’s partner. He gladly stepped aside and was swept up almost instantly into the arms of one of Inarizaki’s knights.

He laughed significantly less with this new partner but for some reason he seemed just as happy.

A flash of white danced in his vision and his eyes were drawn to Oikawa Tooru himself. He was dancing with one of the lady’s in waiting that his sister often gossiped with. He wasn’t sure what her name was and he couldn’t be bothered to care.

She was clinging to his shoulders in a way that made Kageyama ache to roll his eyes. Oikawa seemed to be keeping conversation with her easily. It was even easier for him to make her giggle and lean in closer with every word. Kageyama hadn’t realized he was gripping his cup far too fiercely until he was having to peel his hand off of it, glancing at the intricate floral designs now pressed into his palm.

His glass was easily placed in the other hand and he took another sip or ten, trying to rub the designs out on his trousers. He was angry. Though he wasn’t sure why.

They’d both agreed that this betrothal was for the sake of their kingdoms and nothing more. Oikawa should be expected to spend time with whoever he thought worthy of it. Especially on a night like tonight. He could find that love that Kageyama was keeping him from. Someone to write secret letters to and meet under the stars to share moments they never could during the day. Kageyama had the option to do the same if he so wished. Why, though, did the thought churn his stomach and make his heart cease in his chest uncomfortably?

When he glanced back to where Oikawa had been he was surprised to see that he was gone. Lost in the crowd yet again.

Maybe this ache in his soul was the work of being apart from a close friend for so long and not being able to reach him at this moment. He could see him, could hear him if he got close enough, but he was never the focus of Oikawa’s attention. Perhaps that was his problem.

Kageyama went to take another sip of his drink and found it empty, glancing around he started to sneak his way through the crowd to grab another glass. He’d almost made it to his destination when he was grabbed gently by the shoulder.

He turned, ready to make some excuse about having someone that he was trying to find and that he currently had no time to talk but he couldn’t get it out. Standing behind him was Oikawa, his hand that wasn’t still resting on his shoulder outstretched as if asking for a dance. Kageyama began to form a snarky remark to hide the way his heart had kicked into a waltz of its own in his chest but was stopped by the soft look in brown eyes. This wasn’t a mockery or a tease of any kind.

“We have to keep up appearances, don’t we? It would be a little strange for me to not dance with my future husband when I’ve danced with almost everyone else here.” His hand never wavered, Kageyama just stared for a few seconds.

Once he had made up his mind he waved over one of the servants standing at the edges of the crowd to take his empty cup. His hand was free now, but he still couldn’t quite make himself place it in Oikawa’s.

“I don’t know how,” he muttered.

“How to what?” Oikawa didn’t sound upset or condescending, just confused. He supposed that made two of them.

Kageyama took his hand gently, “I don’t know how to dance. I mean, I’ve never…I was always so young and then my family stopped holding these types of things after Miwa was married and I never learned properly.”

Oikawa’s smile was so gentle that it stopped his heart for a moment, “So I was right. It’s not hard. I’ll lead, just follow and try not to step on my poor feet.”

He allowed himself to laugh a little bit at that. Brushed it off as the two cups of wine in his system. That was why his heart was beating strangely and why he had been so angry. It was most certainly why when Oikawa grabbed him by the waist and raised their joined hands to start their dance that he blushed. No other reason. Just the thrill of alcohol in his blood.

They just swayed gently at first, talking lowly amongst themselves. Well, it was mostly Oikawa talking. Telling Kageyama about all the awful dance partners he had that night. How many of them had flirted so openly with him despite wearing the symbols of their own countries and knowing exactly who he was. How many of them had tried to propose laws and deals to him even though he technically had no say until they were fully married. He talked about how he had danced with Hinata and a few of his personal knights for one of the group dances that night.

Kageyama was content to listen to him talk. He was happy to have the music fade to the background of his mind. The material on Oikawa’s shoulder was soft to the touch, his hand was warm on his waist and in his own. The closer they danced the nicer the air around him started to smell. He was sure it was wafting off of his betrothed.

Soon, Oikawa was guiding him gently through the steps of waltzing and they were taking their first steps together. For the most part he avoided stumbling or making Oikawa stumble. It was easier to learn than what he had expected, really. Once the steps were down it was easy to fall into the lazy circles others were carving across the dance floor.

He hadn’t realized he had started to smile until Oikawa returned it, eyes sparkling in the bright lights of the ballroom. He ached to tell Oikawa just how beautiful he looked like this. Relaxed and genuine.

“Tobio,” he scolded playfully, “you’re staring.”

Kageyama directed his gaze to their boots to hide the color in his cheeks, “My apologies. I just got lost in thought, I suppose.”

Oikawa hummed as if he knew exactly what he was talking about. Thankfully though, he dropped the topic and pulled Kageyama just a tad bit closer. Not that they could have gotten much closer. Kageyama could almost feel Oikawa’s heartbeat against his own chest, or maybe that was his own racing pulse echoing back at him.

At some point in their dancing, Kageyama had leaned in the slightest bit, lured in by the delightful scent of his perfume. Their noses grazed together gently, as soft as flower petals in the breeze. Neither of them pulled away, neither of them said a word. They just smiled and breathed shared air between them. They would whisper nothing in particular just to feel the breath of the other against their lips. It was the most they’d talked about nothing before and it felt freeing.

“Tobio,” was breathed against his lips like a prayer.

He shivered, “Oikawa.”

“Please don’t call me that,” he sounded a bit broken, shattered. “Not now.”

“Tooru,” he corrected.

He felt the hum that vibrated through his chest at that. Felt his gentle smile in the air more than saw it. It made him repeat the name again. Taste it on his tongue again. He savored it this time, reveled in the way that Oikawa held his hand tighter.

Oikawa slowed them to a stop though he made no move to break away from him. They stood in the middle of the dance floor, couples moving around them. There were some that were chatting, some that were sharing silence like they were now. There were some that looked like they’d rather be anywhere else and right in the middle of it all, there they were. Different from what they had been moments ago. Kageyama wasn’t sure how, or how long it would last, but he wanted to hold it until it was ripped from him with the force of an arrow sent flying through the air.

He just hoped that when it inevitably hit him, it wouldn’t sting too much.

Oikawa nudged their noses together more purposefully this time. The hand still on his waist snaked around to press him closer by the small of his back. Brown eyes were barely visible past his lashes anymore and all Kageyama wanted was to kiss him.

So he did.

Kageyama let the hand on his shoulder rest against the side of his neck, guided him close enough that their lips were touching, delighted in the fact that he could feel Oikawa’s grin against his own.

“It’s not very polite to keep someone waiting,” Oikawa breathed, every word from soft lips spoken right against his own.

Kageyama let his thumb trace against the sharpness of his jaw, “There’s no good shot without tension.”

Oikawa laughed right into his mouth when their lips finally pressed together. It mimicked their dance very closely. The way that Kageyama felt just as unsure about what he was supposed to do and the way that Oikawa was there to pull him in closer, to let him drown in the presence of someone who knew exactly what he wanted from Kageyama.

As Kageyama learned, they grew more bold. Free hands were guided to join their others, Kageyama was finally tasting him. Slow, steady. Just like their first steps had been. Maybe it was a little messy, Kageyama stumbled a bit and Oikawa was there to set him right again. Gently. So very gentle.

It was so very hard to want to pull away from a whole new dance, yet he was made to. Oikawa petted a hand over the back of his head, pulling back with one last gentle kiss to the corner of his lips.

He had opened his mouth to say something but Kageyama was to never know what it was. Someone cleared their throat to their left and Oikawa was stepping back out of his space. He longed to reach out and keep him there. He wasn’t ready for whatever they had built to come crashing down around them.

“Your highness,” he recognized the voice of his father’s head knight. “Your mother wishes to speak to you. It’s almost time for you to address the guests.”

“Tell her I’ll be right there, I wish to spend a little longer with my betrothed if the time allows for it.” The knight seemed to think for a moment before glancing past Kageyama and right at Oikawa. He nodded and gave a bow before excusing himself again.

Oikawa cleared his throat this time, “You didn’t have to do that.”

“You just…” felt strangely like home? Tasted addicting? “...looked so happy. I didn’t want to cut anything short.”

Oikawa shrugged and tugged on his sleeves until they fell perfectly against his wrists again. Kageyama watched carefully as the ease that had worked its way into both of them seeped back out into the room around them. That same pit in his stomach was back with a vengeance as he watched brown eyes scan the crowd around them instead of Kageyama himself.

“I enjoy dancing. It doesn’t have to be with you.” Kageyama would have rather been stabbed than have heard those words.

Flashes of how happy he had looked to be dancing with his previous partner flooded his mind. How bright his smile had been. How charming he’d looked. Oh god, Kageyama must have looked just like her. Naive enough to fall for his charms. Naive enough to be caught up in the moment, to think he was special. Suddenly he felt that he was going to be sick.

“Excuse me,” he muttered, shoving past Oikawa and into the crowd.

He bumped into far too many people. He kept being thrown off balance. He could barely see around some of the couples with how extravagant their dresses and sleeves were. Some of the men’s hats had feathers so large that he had to stand on his toes to see over them. He felt trapped. Lost. Panicked.

How could he have been so stupid? Of course, Oikawa hadn’t really wanted to be dancing with him. He was probably just the only free person around. God, he was probably laughing it up with his next dance partner about how he had gotten someone so attached in minutes that they had kissed him. Had gotten so attached that when he had pulled back it had felt like he’d lost a part of himself. Why it hurt so bad, he couldn’t tell. Maybe it was the humiliation. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe he was still stuck under some inkling of Oikawa’s charm, trying to rip his way out of it.

A gentle hand grabbed his own and Kageyama had turned, ready to let whoever dared touch him without his permission know exactly what would happen to them. He never got to. All the fight fled from his body when he met the eyes of the young girl that Hinata had been dancing with earlier. Yachi.

“Your highness, are you feeling alright?” She studied his face like she could read what he was feeling there. Maybe she could. “Would you like me to escort you to the hallway? You look like you could use some fresh air, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

Kageyama sagged, “Yes, please. Thank you, Yachi.”

She smiled at the sound of her name and kept that gentle grip on him until they had made their way out of the doors and fairly far from the ballroom. When she dropped his wrist he let himself slide down the wall until he was seated, head in his hands.

He heard her sit next to him, a gentle hand on his knee.

They stayed like that for a long while. Too long probably. Kageyama was sure that his mother would have a few choice words for his disappearance when he mustered up the courage to go back, but for now he was basking in the understanding that was rolling off of Yachi in waves. She was a level of comfort that he’d never quite felt before.

“Your highne-”

“Call me Kageyama,” he muttered.

Yachi nodded though she looked hesitant still, “Kageyama, may I ask what happened? I was talking to Hinata earlier and he said…oh, well maybe I shouldn’t repeat that.”

“He’s said some of the worst things I’ve ever heard, I don’t think you have to worry about it too much,” he teased. They both laughed together. “Go on.”

“He said that you looked the happiest he’s seen you since the start of the courting with Prince Oikawa. I just suppose I wondered what had happened, or if I could help out.” She let her hand fall from his knee as he looked up at her finally since they had sat down. She looked so very genuine. There wasn’t a deceitful hint around her.

Hinata had really said those things. He’d seen them dancing and he’d thought Kageyama had looked happy? He guessed he wasn’t wrong. He had been happy. He’d barely been able to keep a smile off his face. Dancing with Oikawa had been fun. It had been beautiful. Kissing him had been something that he both cherished and would regret forever. Kissing Oikawa had felt like breathing fresh air for the first time in his life. It felt like land after too long on the sea. Like his life had been chaos and the moment their lips touched, everything had come to a standstill.

“I was happy,” he admitted.

Yachi nodded, she didn’t expect him to say anything else. The implications were there. She seemed to piece it together without his help and he wasn’t sure that he could have pieced it together for her even if she hadn’t.

“Your highness!” His mother’s guard was rushing down the hallway towards them.

He allowed himself to be led away from Yachi. That was the last time he saw her that night. That was the last time he saw anyone that night. He gave his speech about how important Oikawa was to him and how happy he was that their marriage would unite their kingdoms after ages of disagreements but he couldn’t process any of the faces in the crowd. He didn’t process that Oikawa had grabbed his hand halfway through his speech and that it felt void of any comfort it used to hold or that he had dropped it as soon as it was over and excused himself from the ballroom. He hadn’t processed anything his mother had scolded him for or the fact that Hinata made up some excuse about Kageyama drinking too much and led him off to not his and Oikawa’s room but Hinata’s own.

He wouldn’t remember how he got there in the morning, but he would dream that night about soft lips and gorgeous, sparkling brown eyes to the tune of whatever the band had been playing while they danced together.

He’d wake up in the morning to an empty bed, to his friend asleep on the floor, to the pain of knowing that he’d have to face Oikawa at some point that day. To the pain of the fact that in his dreams he was never Oikawa. He had been Tooru.

—

Hinata, the saint that he was, let Kageyama stay in his room all day. He didn’t ask many questions other than what he wanted to eat and when. He would tug Kageyama out of bed every once in a while to go for a quick walk or to go with him to talk to his parents or staff when his presence was requested. Life didn’t stop for Prince Kageyama who felt like his heart was left to be trampled over on the dancefloor. No matter how much he wished to be able to tunnel under the covers and stay there for eternity, he had business to attend to. Business that, left undone, would reflect badly on his people.

He had to make an excuse to decline the staff that invited him to eat with Oikawa when they would see him. Normally, if they didn’t believe him all it took was Hinata speaking up to get people to leave him be. He commanded respect and, frankly, was a little frightening when he wanted to be. Kageyama couldn’t have asked for a better escort that day.

Or the next. And the next after that. And the next.

It went on like that for a whole week before Kageyama let himself start to think about what was going on in his brain besides the static of whatever sadness had entered him. Oftentimes, when he started thinking a little too much he would make his way out to make his arms and hands sore from hours of stringing arrows and letting them fly. Sometimes he would ask Hinata to come with him if he was around. Other times, he sat and stared at the ceiling until his thoughts flew away on their own.

When he had finally let himself remember what had happened that night in more than flashes of emotions, he had cried. He hadn’t cried that night or any of the days after, but there he sat, a week after he felt like a bigger hole had been ripped into his heart, sobbing.

A silent cry. He wouldn’t have anyone seeing him this way. There were far too many people passing at this hour to let himself indulge in the vocality of it all, but he cried. He cried for a good while. He cried until his head ached and his eyes felt dry. There was nothing left but a faint sniffling by the time that Hinata returned to his room.

He didn’t say anything, instead he sat on the edge of the bed and just rested a hand on top of Kageyama’s shoulder as he continued to pull himself together. And when the sniffles had mostly subsided he poured Kageyama a glass of water and urged him to sit up to drink it.

After a bit of silence and a few glasses of water Hinata spoke, “Do you feel any better?”

Kageyama shook his head miserably.

“You have to tell your parents the truth this time too, I can’t–”

“No!” Kageyama’s own voice shocked him and if the way he jumped was anything to go by, it shocked Hinata even more. He took a deep breath and leaned back again. “I can’t let this fall through again.”

Hinata scoffed at him, “Making yourself miserable to give your parents the satisfaction of a dead tradition isn’t worth it and you know it! So what if it is a big political deal? We both well know that if Aoba Johsai and Karasuno were going to war it would have happened long before now. They’re cowards. All of them!”

Kageyama thought long and hard about what he had said. It was true that his parents would be pleased to know that someone else was helping carry the weight of the crown. They would be pleased at the idea of Kageyama continuing to keep the family line going. They would be proud of him for finally settling down instead of finding his way out of all these engagements. It would secure the safety of the people that put their faith in his leadership and those that put their faith in Oikawa’s. It would keep him from having to watch Oikawa be happy with someone that wasn’t him.

Why did he care so much more about that last one though?

Why should he care who Oikawa chose to spend his time with, arranged marriage or not. It’s not like he spent every waking moment thinking about who Hinata would end up with. It never left such a bitter taste in his mouth to think about watching Hinata marry someone and get to be happy with someone he loved. In fact, the idea made him feel more fond than anything. To think of someone so giving finally getting to live a life he wanted made Kageyama oddly warm. So, why then, did the idea of Oikawa finding someone that wasn’t Kageyama to give his love to oddly cold?

It wasn’t the fear of being caught. Oikawa was smart. Even if someone did hear a rumor or the affair became public, it’s not as if Kageyama would throw a fit over it. They could put on a show of making up and pretend the whole thing never happened. It had happened before. It would happen again after them, he was sure.

Maybe it was the way that it would make someone feel to watch someone they loved so much have to pretend to love someone else for the world. That must feel so dirty, to be hidden away from the world like that. Like some dark secret. Though the more he thought on that the more he realized he couldn’t care less about Oikawa’s possible love interests.

The image of Oikawa dancing with the pretty woman from the other night flashed in his head like a knife stabbing through his heart. It made his throat dry and his aching head pound.

The only thing he could seem to think of that felt correct in any way was the fear of losing Oikawa in all this mess. The fear of only ever being a public front for him. Oikawa might have been full well pretending to love Kageyama, but Kageyama was suddenly very afraid of pretending to love him back.

“I don’t want him to leave me,” he spoke into the heavy air of the room.

Oh.

Oh.

“Keeping a friend around isn’t worth–”

Kageyama laughed bitterly, “It’s more than that.”

Hinata seemed to catch on after a moment. His hard expression softened to something that, had he not known him better, almost looked like pity. Hinata had never let himself pity Kageyama, it was one of the reasons Kageyama had trusted him so much. He hated being pitied. In that moment though, he was sure that was as close as Hinata would ever come to pitying him in their lives.

Hinata, unknowingly, stabbed yet another blade straight through his heart. “You’ve fallen for him?”

Had he? Yes. The question, he supposed, was when. When had he fallen?

Maybe there had always been a deep part of him that knew the admiration he had secretly felt for the other was always something a little deeper than that. Maybe he had made it worse by watching the determination to care for his people cross Oikawa’s eyes when he had asked if he could stand to be married to him for the rest of their lives just for the sake of peace. Perhaps it had been the way that he looked with a bow and arrow in his hands, like he was born to stand in front of a target. Maybe it had been when he had lost to him on the day or their engagement tournament. Or the way that he had slotted so perfectly against him to draw their bow together.

Perhaps it had been something much simpler. Learning that Oikawa enjoyed reading, learning that his family spent many hours together and he enjoyed that, or finding out that he had befriended many of his staff. Possibly it had happened on the first ride that they had taken together. Their conversation had felt far more open than any they’d had before.

Perhaps he had been in the business of falling for Oikawa Tooru all along. Maybe the night they had spent under the stars with far too much drink in their systems had been the final straw for his poor heart. It had only room to grow from there.

“I’ve fallen in love with him,” Kageyama finally corrected.

Hinata gaped at him, eyes comically wide in a way that maybe would have made Kageyama laugh if he was in the mood to do anything but throw up. There was a pit in his stomach the size of the night sky which, unfortunately, also reminded him of the man that was the cause for it.

He was sure he looked sickly pale. It felt like all the blood had drained from his limbs. They were heavy and yet he couldn’t quite feel them any longer. His chest ached in a way that it had only done after he had sobbed for long periods of time. He could hear the faint sound of Hinata talking to him but he couldn’t focus on any of the words enough to process them.

Or at least he couldn’t until there was a sting in his forehead and Hinata’s hand was moving quickly away from where he had flicked him.

“Tell him, stupid.”

Tell Oikawa? Tell him what? That he had fallen too far into a lie that they had tried to sculpt and now he wasn’t sure how much of it was a lie on his end any more? Maybe that he thought a lot about how it had felt to drink with him and fall asleep together under a blanket of stars, warm and fuzzy from a good wine? Should he walk up to the Oikawa Tooru and tell him that any annoyance he had experienced in the past had melted into a sickly sweet fondness almost?

He couldn’t tell him. Oikawa would laugh in his face.

How immature of Kageyama to let his feelings get in the way of his duty. Just one more way that Oikawa had proven himself to be the better ruler of the two of them. He wouldn’t give him that win. No one had to know. He could swallow down his feelings like he had been so used to doing and pretend that he was fine if it meant that their kingdoms could sleep peacefully. If it meant that so many people could find their Oikawa without worry of losing them.

Hinata sighed and tilted his head at Kageyama. Frankly, he looked a little like a puppy and Kageyama had to smile a little at that. “I know exactly what bullshit you are telling yourself right now.”

“Bullshit?” Kageyama scoffed.

“Yes,” Hinata huffed back at him. “Bullshit. That’s what it is. This whole thing was bullshit from the start but now it has a chance to not be bullshit and you’re ruining that with worse bullshit! There is so much bullshit that even the bullshit is bullshit!”

Hinata, it seemed, had found his new favorite word.

Kageyama was not amused. “I can’t understand what you are trying to scold me for, dumbass!”

“Don’t call me a dumbass, dumbass! Are you blind?” His friend waved a hand obnoxiously closed to his eyes, earning a slap to the hand. “Everyone sees the way he looks at you but you!”

What did that mean? Had everyone else known that Oikawa was waiting for a moment to have an excuse to free himself of Kageyama? No one had mentioned anything to him. He figured at least Hinata would have warned him. Did everyone know that it had only been a matter of time before this whole thing crashed and burned? Was Kageyama blinded by his own feelings?

That betrayal that he had felt watching Tooru go back to Oikawa came back tenfold.

Hinata sighed, something that came from deep within his lungs to express just how exhausted he was of Kageyama not understanding him.

“Look, Tobio, I have to go for training the new recruits.” Hinata’s hand was on his shoulder, squeezing. “Just…try talking to him about this before you go catastrophizing everything.”

Kageyama heard those words and did the exact opposite of them. He stayed put until he absolutely had to risk running into Oikawa in the corridors of the castle. He would tell his parents he was too busy to come to dinner when the invitation arose. He even went as far as pretending to be sick when the busy excuse had gone too far. Thought of new excuses when that one wasn’t useful any longer. He had been able to avoid seeing Oikawa at all for another week before his plans had crumbled and there was nothing he could have done to stop it.

—

The day had started out as it normally would have any more. Kageyama awoke to the sun in his eyes and tried to ease himself back to sleep, but was unsuccessful because Hinata was always up right as the sun was and extremely noisy. He pulled himself off the hard floor where he had been kicked to in the night by his eccentric bedmate and went to find a way to wash his face of the grime of sleep.

He had then accompanied Hinata to a quick breakfast in the kitchen, chatting with the staff and then being shooed out with the threat of being hit over the head with a spoon if they ate any more food. They spent the morning after that walking around and doing their respective duties when they needed to.

When the invitation to lunch with his parents came, Kageyama had declined yet again. His mind was no clearer than it had been at the start of this whole thing. No matter how hard he thought about how Hinata had looked at him during their conversation or the words he had told him, nothing was making sense to him. How could he have fallen so hard and not even realized that’s what he had done.

It had taken him losing Oikawa somehow for him to even begin to realize that he had cared for him in a way that made it sting this way to begin with. How dense could he have been, really?

He was in no mood to see Oikawa until it was completely necessary. Possibly their wedding day and then never again. If he pretended that Oikawa didn’t exist, the pain would surely fade over time. Plus, he wouldn’t have to see anyone flirting with him or sneaking away to fall in love the way he wished they could.

At times like this Kageyama resented his royal duties. This pain would have had no way to grow if he had been allowed to pick his own love. Oikawa would have never even been in the running to begin with. Although, somehow that thought hurt a little more than the feeling of loss.

Kageyama had been lost in his thoughts, reading mindlessly over reports and stamping them without paying much attention. Hinata was good at his job, there wouldn’t be any mistakes to be corrected anyways. There never was. Maybe though, he’d have to ask Hinata to give him something more challenging next time. Being lost in his thoughts was exactly what allowed his awareness to slip enough that someone was in the room with him before he could order them to leave him be or pretend to be sick to get them to go on their own.

The door closed. Kageyama didn’t look up, “I’m busy at the present. Please find one of the royal advisors for qu–”

“You really can’t stand to look at me can you?” The scoff was one that was far too familiar. Something that froze Kageyama’s whole body with an anxiety he’d never felt before. “I think one glance is the least I’m owed after not hearing from you for so long.”

A rage that Kageyama hadn’t yet let rise to the surface rushed up so quickly that he was rising out of his chair, body tight before he could think much about it. He tried his best to swallow it down, couldn’t stand to lift his head even now to look across the room at his uninvited guest.

“I don’t owe you anything,” he stated coolly.

Oikawa was silent for a long moment. So long that Kageyama thought maybe he had left, he didn’t dare check though. He’d rather die right here on this spot from old age than risk seeing Oikawa at all. Something in him said that as soon as he saw him, all those things he had been able to suppress would spill out so fast he wouldn’t be able to attempt stopping them.

The silence was deafening. Kageyama couldn’t breathe in fear of slicing whatever standstill they had come to in half and watch things crumble around them.

“You’re not as hard to find as you would like to think.” Oikawa finally broke the silence himself and Kageyama could breathe again. “Your staff sure did try to detour me when I asked though. I respected that you needed time away for some reason, but I have a duty to fulfill here as well and that’s hard for me if I’m playing a giant fucked up game of hide-and-seek with the person who is supposed to be helping me impress his parents.”

Kageyama grumbled, “You seem to be doing just fine on your own, otherwise they wouldn’t be inviting us both to dinner with them so often. Besides, they probably much prefer a proper royal’s company over my own.”

“You’re missing the point entirely!” Oikawa, for the first time since he walked in, raised his voice. Nothing more than a slight volume increase but it was loud enough in the space between them that Kageyama’s hands clinched to keep him from cowering away.

“Then state your point and leave me alone,” he insisted.

There was a short bit of silence again before Oikawa took a few steps closer to him. Close enough now that Kageyama could see his shoes. He had to resist the urge to close his eyes to keep himself from realizing that he was really here with him. That this was the first time he’d seen him in such a long time that he longed to reach out and touch him.

“I’m leaving soon,” was all Oikawa said.

Kageyama supposed that was right. It had been a while since Oikawa had arrived. Soon, he would return home to his own kingdom to settle diplomatic measures on his end and then word would be sent between the families to decide where Oikawa and Kageyama would be spending the rest of their courting period before the day came that one of them made a big show of a proper proposal and then wedding ceremonies would be in the works.

The whole thing would have made anyone who had their feelings reciprocated giddy. Kageyama might have even been giggling like he’d seen his own sister act when she married off. Except his feelings weren’t reciprocated. Oikawa would probably propose to him for show and then they would be stuck in this endless loop of duty and hiding forever. Kageyama would have to live with the knowledge that he would have been more than happy to marry Oikawa and Oikawa himself would have to hide his own love for someone who wasn’t Kageyama.

“I don’t see what that has to do with me now.” Kageyama spit. “I’ll accompany you and see you off when the day comes. If that’s all I–”

“Have you always been this stupid?” Oikawa’s voice was rising again. More with each word. This time, Kageyama did shrink back the slightest bit.

“That’s all we are obligated to do out of duty.” Kageyama felt a little numb. Maybe he had been sitting too long and his body was adjusting.

Oikawa shoved him. Not hard enough for him to really go anywhere, but enough that he could feel that he was really there and that he had to rock a little with the force of it. “Is that all you know how to do? Follow orders? You have a duty to be a fucking human being with his own mind too, you know that?”

Once he had balanced himself out again and had noticed that his hands were shaking at his sides, Kageyama realized he needed to end this before he cried in front of Oikawa. “This whole thing was out of duty for the both of us, if you remember. I am too busy to pretend to be your newest romantic toy. If you want to fill that hole so badly, go find one of the people you danced with to do it for you.”

“Danced–” Oikawa sounded confused for a moment before hands were grabbing the collar of Kageyama’s shirt. “Is that what this is about? You’ve been ignoring my existence because you’re mad that I danced with some people at a party?”

Kageyama panicked, “That’s not–”

“You really are stupid! Are you seriously upset that I did my job trying to get close to people here? What would you have preferred? That I follow after you all night like a little soldier waiting to take orders on how to keep your parents pleased in some fucked up way of denying that what they’re doing is wrong?” Kageyama felt his head shake a little as Oikawa pulled his hands towards himself and then pushed them back out again. “Is that what you think duty is?”

“No,” Kageyama whispered.

“Speak up for fuck’s sa–”

“No!” Kageyama spat at him. Enough was enough. He’d never been good at keeping secrets anyhow. “But I am upset that I had to stand by myself for over half the night, watching people look at me and whisper behind their hands like I wouldn’t know they were talking about me. I’m upset that I had to watch you smile and flirt with so many people while I tried to dodge questions about why we weren’t dancing together. I’m upset that you didn’t offer to dance with me until you had run out of people to dance with. I’m extremely upset that dancing with you meant so much to me and then you brushed it off as if it had been a job for you. I know that I’m not the easiest person to get along with but you could have at least tried to hide the fact that you wanted to be anywhere else but there a little better after you saw an out with me being summoned by my mother! But most of all, I’m upset that I let myself believe that all that shit you said about calling you Tooru and kissing me was anything but an act!”

By the end of it all, Kageyama’s chest was tight. It was moving up and down rapidly in a way that ached. His throat was tight and scratchy, his eyes stung. Oh God, he was going to cry.

The silence between them after that went on for far too long. Oikawa never let go of his shirt and Kageyama never looked up at him. They were stuck like that. He tried to even out his breathing, it sounded deafening in his own ears, he was sure Oikawa could hear how shaky it was.

“It wasn’t–” Oikawa cut himself off. Actually, it sounded more like his voice got caught in his throat.

Finally, his head snapped up. If anyone had the right to cry here it wasn’t Oikawa. Not that he could tell if he was, Oikawa had turned his head down to look at his own shoes. “It wasn’t what? It wasn’t something you did out of duty? Use your words.”

Finally, slowly, their eyes met. Kageyama thought he might cry no matter how hard he tried to hold it back. Oikawa wasn’t crying, in fact his eyes were completely dry but they were lacking any sparkle that might normally be there. He looked tired. Extremely so. When their eyes met he was sure that even the deep brown had been muted by whatever had caused Oikawa to stop.

It took him a while to speak, even after that. Neither of them moved an inch. “I thought you were avoiding the dance floor on purpose. I was so excited when I saw you and then too late I realized you had just been on the way to get more to drink. I thought everything had happened the way it did because you were drunk. Then when you were summoned you snapped right back into the Tobio that asked me if I could stand to be with you and had agreed to do this whole thing for our people. It scared me. I thought–”

“Thought you’d stab me with your words? It’s kill or be killed right?” Kageyama laughed sourly and started to break away from Oikawa. “I think I’ve heard enough.”

He had gotten less than an inch away before he was grabbed again. “Please don’t go.”

Kageyama couldn’t have taken another step if his life depended on it. Not when Oikawa sounded so broken. Not with the way that his wrist ached where Oikawa was clinging onto him so tightly. Hell, even if he hadn’t done any of those things, Kageyama would have done anything to hear him say those exact words over and over again.

Kill or be killed.

“What do you want from me, Oikawa?” Kageyama spit out, though his voice sounded far less venomous than he wished it to.

There was a moment of silence before, so quiet he thought he was hallucinating came, “Tooru.”

For the second time that day their eyes met and this time instead of exhaustion, Kageyama found panic looking back at him.

“Pardon me?”

“Call me Tooru.” Oikawa didn’t smile, not like he had when he had first made the request. Yet, it still made Kageyama feel strangely fluttery.

“What do you want from me, Tooru?” Kageyama corrected himself. That name tasted so sweet on his tongue.

Tooru had taken a step into his personal space, hand loose on his wrist now. Tobio watched his eyes leave his own and flick back before he had time to process why they’d done so. “I just have one request for you.”

His voice was sweet in his ears, made him shiver and step just a little closer. Tobio nodded, too scared to ask verbally what the request was.

“Kiss me again?” Tooru’s hand slid down to interlace their fingers and it was all Tobio could do not to knock them both over with the force of the excitement to be asked to kiss him again.

Tooru had laughed against his lips, bringing his free hand up to gently guide them apart again. Just for a second so that he could bring them together again but gentler this time. Far more comfortably. Tobio melted into him, arms finding a place around his waist to rest comfortably as he let Tooru kiss the breath right out of his lungs. Over and over again.

It was only when Tooru himself was panting as hard as Tobio that they stopped.

“I’m sorry–” Tobio interrupted him before Tooru could get too far into an apology.

“I know,” he assured.

Tooru smiled, a dazzling sight from this close. Or anywhere really.

“You’re a pain in my ass,” he added after a moment.

“I know,” Tobio smiled.

There was only a moment more of peace before Tooru, the bastard, started laughing to himself. It started as a small, harmless sound but it grew the longer he laughed. He laughed so long that he had to break away from Tobio to double over, supporting himself on the table Kageyama had been sitting behind moments before.

He was a little lost. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, I just can’t believe you were jealous!” Tooru wheezed, trying to straighten up and failing miserably when he caught sight of the deep frown those words had placed on Tobio’s lips.

He could laugh all he wanted, didn’t mean he was right. Of course Tobio hadn’t been jealous. Had Tooru lost his mind? Tobio? Jealous? Maybe that was the humor of this all. There was no way he of all people would be jealous because Tooru had chosen to keep himself busy with other less important people. It had been frustration, if anything.

“Get out,” Tobio insisted when Tooru showed no signs of stopping his ridiculous giggling.

Of course Tooru did nothing of the sort. Instead he continued to tease him until Tobio himself got up to leave the room, Tooru trailing after him.

—

The days before Tooru’s departure came fast and went even faster. No matter how much they willed time to slow, Tobio was still left kicking himself at the end of it all for not speaking up sooner about how he felt. If he had known that he would have felt like this it would have been worth the risk of being turned down. Just for the slightest chance that they might be able to spend their days together like they had since then.

Tooru, he discovered, ran hot at night. In the chill of the night air it was a comfort. When the sun came up and heated them further, Tooru more often than not found himself being kicked awake and told to move. Most days he would do as asked. Others, just to get on Tobio’s nerves as revenge for being woken up, he would pull him in closer and refuse to let go until one or both of them was on the floor.

If the day’s plans allowed for it, they often wouldn’t pull themselves out of bed until Yamaguchi made an appearance to insist that they should dress for the day and at least make an appearance somewhere so people knew they weren’t dead.

Holding Tooru’s hand openly was something that took him time to get used to. Let alone doing much else when there were people watching. Tooru, for what it was worth, never rushed him but he still felt a little guilty. Being open was something a little new to him. Everyday he tried. He tried just to see the way that Tooru would smile at him when he did. Those stupid little flutters would kick up in his stomach every time.

They went on proper dates. Some were structured much like what they did when they would spend time together before, except this time Tobio could give in to the urge to kiss him or could indulge Tooru when he got the same urge.

Tooru still ran out at any chance to practice with Shoyo in Tobio’s place when he was busy. Tobio took time for himself once in a while, most of which turned into time getting to know Yachi a little better. He seemed to run into her more often these days. Maybe because he was seeking her out. She was kind and he trusted her. She scolded him in the way that his sister used to, it made his heart a little more full.

She, as it turned out, enjoyed Tooru’s presence as well. Shoyo loved her as well. Even Tsukishima seemed to have some sort of soft spot for her and she and Yamaguchi got along swimmingly. She fit right into their little group. It was like she was there from the start.

It was Yachi who had given Tobio advice when he had questions about how he should make a date special or how he should approach certain dates. She would let him gush about things in a way that would have had Shoyo in stitches trying and failing to get out enough words to tease him. She would gladly gush along with him even. It was…nice.

The first time Tobio had seen Tooru show any kind of loneliness was when they had returned from a dinner with his friends. Tooru had been uncharacteristically quiet for the last half of the meal and his hand never left Tobio. Whether it was on his knee or in his own, he was a constant presence.

When they had reached their room, Tobio had suggested they get ready for bed. If this was something that would take a while, it was better to be prepared before. Tooru had no arguments, so they eased themselves into a nightly routine and then into bed when they were ready to do so.

Tobio had thought a little routine might have helped Tooru, instead, he was quiet through the whole thing where he normally would have been telling tales of his day and insisting that Tobio do the same.

After a while of trying to think of a way he could ask Tooru why he seemed so sad without seeming annoyed by it, a hand grabbed his own and brought it gently to his lips. Tobio hadn’t fully adjusted to Tooru being so open with his affection or being so gentle with him. His cheeks heated up without much he could do to stop it.

“Are you alright?” Tobio asked simply.

Tooru, for what it was worth, smiled the smallest bit against his hand before gently easing it down to his chest. “I’m just missing home, I suppose.”

Tobio nodded, pushing himself up gently so that he was sitting. He watched as Tooru followed the movement. Without much else, Tobio’s arms were opening to let Tooru melt into him. He was silent for a moment or two, breathing even against Tobio’s neck. Without warning, the first sniffle reached his ears, followed by a few more and then a sob that he chased away gently with his fingers brushing through soft hair.

He never tried to make Tooru look at him, even when the sobs eventually eased back into gentle sniffles and those back into silent breaths against his skin. Pride was a fragile thing. Tobio respected that Tooru wished to be hidden at his most vulnerable. He would have liked the same.

“You miss your friends?” Tobio asked finally when Tooru placed a soft kiss against his neck.

Tooru nodded, “I received a letter from Iwaizumi today. An update, you could say. He said they were counting the days until they could see me again. I know it was more a jest than anything but I do miss them.”

Tobio thought for a moment, “Would you like to leave earlier?”

There was no reply, only a sniffle or two before Tooru was wrapping his arms around him, tight. His hands gripped the back of Tobio’s shirt as he cried for a bit longer. Unsure of what else to do, Tobio simply held him through it. He’d never been too good with words but this had seemed to work the first time. Maybe for once in his life it was okay that he hadn’t been born with a silver tongue.

Eventually, when he had calmed down again, Tooru had started to run his fingers in gentle patterns along the fabric of his shirt, along his spine and shoulders. Tobio had started to drift off to the methodical rhythm of it when the reply finally came.

“Would you really be okay letting me go early?”

Tobio thought about it in his hazy brain for a moment and then nodded, “If it would make you feel better.”

“Eager to get rid of me?” Tooru teased.

“Of course not,” Tobio muttered and eased them into a more comfortable position. His eyelids were so very heavy. “I can’t wait to not have to worry about you leaving me. I want you to be happy.”

Maybe it was the sleepiness that made his filter dissolve. Maybe the sleepiness was also responsible for the fact that he thought he felt Tooru pull away to look at him for a moment before he was sighing gently against his temple and the silence after that finally rocked Tobio into a gentle sleep that he hadn’t awoken from until the sun was in his eyes that morning.

He was prepared already to push Tooru away but his hands were met with empty air. When it occurred to him that Tooru wasn’t in bed at all, he panicked. Quickly, he shoved himself up and tossed his head around the room in search of his betrothed. When, yet again, he couldn’t find Tooru, the panic got worse. His hands were sweaty, and not from the heat of the morning sun.

Tobio had prepared to pull himself out of bed to search for where Tooru could have gone before the door had opened to reveal an impatient looking Yamaguchi.

“Do you know how late you are going to be for breakfast with your parents?” He rolled his eyes and dragged Tobio to his feet. “And Oikawa…the nerve! ‘No, don’t wake him Yamaguchi!’ and ‘He looks so peaceful like this, just let him sleep a little longer.’ You two are insufferable! I have a job to do you know?”

Kageyama had laughed a little, despite himself, and that had thrown Yamaguchi into another tangent about how annoying the two of them were and how Tobio should have been setting a better example about how to treat the staff. That he was lucky that Tooru understood proper etiquette and didn’t need the example and how Tobio should take notes on how Tooru treated Yamaguchi because caring for someone so hardheaded was exhausting.

Anyone else would have been extremely offended. Tobio thought it was a little relaxing in a strange way to have Yamaguchi give him an earful. It wasn’t often that Tobio would get to hear something like this every day for a while. While everything was being figured out, they would be expected to travel between kingdoms again. Tobio wouldn’t dream of asking any of his friends to leave their lives behind here to follow him. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss it.

Suddenly, he remembered exactly what had made him cling to Tooru the night before. To try to give him any form of comfort over something so hard.

It took only a few minutes for Yamaguchi to have him ready to go. He was, in fact, on time to breakfast with his family and Tooru.

They were lovingly reminded that Tooru would be leaving a week from now and the rest of the meal was uncharacteristically quiet from all parties involved. He would be leaving much sooner than they realized if they got their wish.

After they were done with breakfast, Tobio and Tooru took a ride around the castle grounds to clear their heads and if they took a detour that had them laying on a fresh pile of hay in the stables and talking for long enough that Yamaguchi had to come find them for lunch then that was no one’s business but their own.

After lunch, which was spent pleasantly alone, Tooru resigned himself to Tobio’s desk. He would scribble words onto paper and then slash through them a few times before throwing the paper away altogether. This went on for a while, his scribbling getting a little further along each time before he realized he had run out of paper. Instead of reaching down to grab more, the quill was dropped to the desk, Tooru’s face falling into his hands.

He let out a long sigh before dragging his hands away and peering at Tobio, who had been watching him without much notice the whole time.

“Should it be this difficult to ask my own father and mother to allow me to come home early?” He laughed, a dry sound that didn’t sit quite right in Tobio’s chest.

He approached slowly, like approaching a spooked horse, easing himself into squatting next to Tooru. “You want to be a good son and a good prince. Asking for favors has never been in your vocabulary as long as I have known you, Tooru.”

This time, the laugh was more genuine. It scraped away that sickly feeling that the first had placed in his chest with ease. Tooru reached over to place one of his hands on top of Tobio’s own. He didn’t say anything, just sat like that for a moment, staring at the discarded quill.

When he picked it back up again and gathered a few more pages of paper, Tobio watched from his side this time as he wrote. He discarded the first paper and then was seemingly satisfied with his next letter. He folded it with ease and sealed it gracefully before he set it aside in front of him on the desktop. Tobio was happy to watch the whole thing in the silence that had fallen through the room.

“I alerted them that I would be returning within about a day’s time of when they received the letter, if not earlier. Please have this sent as an urgent letter.” Tooru grabbed the letter gently and offered it out to Tobio.

A silent last chance for him to tell Tooru that he wasn’t okay with him leaving earlier than the original time. Tobio took a minute to consider what taking the letter would really mean. Of course he hadn’t been lying to Tooru last night when he was comforting him. However, talking about something and seeing it unfold before his own eyes were two separate things.

If this was sent as urgent mail it would get to Seijoh by the night, if not by the next morning. That would mean tomorrow would be their last day together as it would take Tooru about the same amount of time to travel home.

Did he trust that all they had built since they had admitted that the acts weren’t acts would last the new separation? Did he trust that this would all still work out as smoothly as it had been if they broke tradition for the sake of Tooru’s happiness? What would he do if the moment Tooru was gone he woke up and realized that he missed him so gravely it felt like the weeks after the dance all over again? What if Tooru returned home and realized that he hadn’t really returned as many of Tobio’s feelings as he thought he had?

Was it worth it?

With shaking hands, Tobio grabbed the letter from Tooru.

Tooru smiled.