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“Why would you do that?!” Natasha shouted storming into my room like she owned it.
I guess she had a reason to be annoyed, I mean I’d be pissed off if one of my team deviated from the plan, but I had to do it. The targets were closing in on the hostage that we were all tasked with saving and if I hadn’t jumped in the way, the girl would be dead and we would’ve failed, not only her but everyone else we’ve rescued over the past months and those we plan to. Surely Natasha’s not so angry she’d miss that?
“You completely changed the plan, what the fuck were you thinking?! You could’ve lost us everything!” She screamed and ok maybe she is that mad.
“Nat, you know I was jus-“
“Don’t fucking Nat me, what you did was stupid you jeopardised the entire mission!”
“Ok seriously back off, you know I did the right thing, they were closing in on her, if I hadn’t she’d be dead!”
She growled threading her fingers through and tugging lightly at her hair, anger clear in her eyes, and a flicker of something else that disappeared almost as quickly as it arose.
“No we would have worked it out, you didn’t give us a chance-“
“Nat there was no way, don’t be ridiculous, I had to step in!”
“By putting yourself in the direct path of harm?!” She yelled back, eyed glistening with tears now.
“That’s my job Nat, I had to.” I replied, voice softening from my previous shouts at the look on her face.
“But you could’ve- could’ve died!” She sobbed circling her stomach with her arms and clutching at her elbows.
“I could’ve lost you!” She was crying now, tears rolling down her beautiful face body heaving with poorly restrained sobs.
“Nat” I whispered and rushed over, collecting her in my arms in a tight hug. Her head resting on my shoulder, her tears slowing as she quietly cried onto the fabric of my shirt.
I reached down to behind her legs picking her up so her legs could circle my waist, arms clinging tighter to my shoulders as I walked us over to the couch in my room. I moved her legs over to one side and sat down with her over my lap. I’d never seen her like this, Natasha was always so collected, never allowing anyone to see what she perceived as a weakness, always with her smug smirks when she wins a bet and her raised eyebrows when she thinks you’re being stupid. Never this, never allowing herself to be this scared and vulnerable around anyone and it scared the shit out of me now.
“Natasha you didn’t lose me, what’s going on, how can I help?” I questioned gently, scared at her state.
“Nothing, Im fine, Im just being stupid, sorry I’ll leave you alone now.” She chuckled sadly, sniffing and making to move of my lap.
I grabbed at her hips, pulling her back down to me.
“No you’re clearly not ok, you don’t have to shut me out, now tell me what going on-why you’re so upset, I’m sorry I changed the plan I didn’t realise it woul-“
“The plan? You think I care about the… I don’t care about the plan, I care that you could have died!” She cried, Turing to straddle me so she could look me directly in the eyes.
“God you always were so clueless weren’t you, how can you not tell?” She gripped my face in her hands and nothing mattered to me more than Natasha and her words.
“You’re everything to me! You were there when I came from the red room, you stayed! you didn’t sidestep or walk on eggshells, you treated me like a human. You made me laugh and you sat with me when I didn’t want to talk but needed someone! You asked me how I was each morning like you actually cared and didn’t just want to pat me on the back and say ‘good on you Nat’, ‘so brave of you Nat’. You helped me train and you bought me one of every different kind of pizza and ice cream flavour because I told you I’d never had them before! You let me pick the movies but still argue when I say go let of fire is best-“
“Prisoner of Azkaban duh-“
“You came to see me initiated into shield and you’ve never ever held my past against me. Never tried to measure me up against it! You support me and I fucking love you for everything and with everything I have!” She was breathing heavily, tears welling in her eyes again looking at me like I was her whole world.
I stared at her, not having the words to describe how much I loved her. Knowing no words in any languages in all the worlds would ever be able to describe everything I know and love about this beautiful, impossible, amazing woman. To convey to her that she deserved everything and more that I gave and will ever give her. That I want to know her inside and out and would wait an eternity to understand if she would give me it. It wasn’t until she laughed slightly, wiping her eyes and giving me her, “you’re such a dork look” that I realised I’d said all that out loud.
“Sorry” I laughed lightly under my breath.
“Sorry for what you dork, for validating my little meltdown there?” She laughed.
“No, and it wasn’t a meltdown, you should let yourself feel more Nat, never feel like you should have to hide, every one of your feelings is more than vali-“
She pulled my face up to her and pressed her lips lightly to mine. My eyes widening in shock before I relaxed and wrapped my arms around her waist giving in to her kiss. I could feel her smile into the kiss, lightly swiping her tongue along the seam of my lips to get me to open to her. I parted my lips slightly and her tongue brushed in tasting every part of my mouth as she moved her hands to tuck a stray hair behind my ear.
I pulled back slowly, feeling her tears on my skin, my whole body reacting and mourning the loss of her lips from mine.
I reached up to gently sip away her tears and she laughed lightly, taking my hand in both of hers.
“Thank you” I managed and she laughed.
“For kissing you, really?”
“No” I laughed back, “ for cutting me off, that would’ve gone on for a while. Although I meant it all, you can always talk-“
“I love you, you deeply silly human” she laughed, a smile so wide it looked like it hurt on her face. And a mirroring one on mine.