Chapter Text
Toya sighs as he stands outside Weekend Garage.
A serial killer on the loose. Murdering people around his height and build. Great.
He really didn’t want to go home alone, but Akito had rushed home a couple hours earlier, Kohane wouldn’t be much use in a fight, and An and Ken-san had to set up for bar hours.
So he had to go home alone. Amazing.
Toya pulled his hoodie around himself and got off the street as fast as he could. Vivid Street was normally the most comforting place in the world for him, but not today. He needed to get away before night falls.
So he ran. He ran faster than he ever has before.
By the time he stopped running, he was finally home. He fiddled with his key and entered the house.
Hm…? That was strange. It was barely 8. Why were the lights out? There was no way his parents were asleep yet.
And there was a strange smell. Something… horrible.
There’s something wrong. There’s something very wrong.
Toya reached to the side and hit the light switch.
The next thing he knows, he’s barely conscious.
He can’t breathe. He can’t think.
This a nightmare. He’ll wake up and he’ll be in Akito’s bed or in the guest room at the Tenmas and this isn’t happening!
He fell to his knees at some point. He doesn’t know when.
His… His father. And his mother. Dead. On the ground.
No, no. Things were finally getting better. They finally started to understand.
He can’t hear anything except the blood rushing in his ears.
He finally reaches into his pocket after god knows how long.
His fingers are moving on autopilot, and they click the first name on his favorites list.
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
“Hey, it’s Akito! Leave a message after the beep. Or don’t. Just text me.”
Damn it. Damn it!
He clicks it again, and he gets the same message.
No, no. He needs his partner right now.
But it’s not working, so his fingers flit down to the second name.
He answers before the first ring.
“Toya! What is it?” Tsukasa-nii says, cheery as always.
He can’t form words, he just hopes his breathing shows how panicked he is.
“…Toya?”
He still just breathes heavily. He can’t get the words out of his throat.
“Toya, what’s wrong?”
“…I…”
“Where are you?”
“…Home…” He barely manages to groan out.
“Okay. I’ll be right there. Hang on.”
The call gets cut off, and Toya’s left alone again.
The smell of blood is sickening.
After what was either a minute or an hour, Tsukasa-nii finally shows up.
He can feel him freezing up. He shouldn’t have called him over.
But Tsukasa-nii’s arms are suddenly around him, and he can’t bring himself to regret it anymore.
“…I came home… and they were just like this…” He says, barely a whisper.
“Okay.” Tsukasa-nii whispers back. “Okay. It’s okay. We’ll call the police, and they’ll handle everything. Everything will be okay.”
“How… how can anything ever be okay again…?”
He knows it in the way Tsukasa-nii stiffens up. It can’t.
“Because I said so. Would I ever lie to my #2 fan?”
Everything after that is a blur. It’s like he’s someone else.
Tsukasa-nii didn’t leave his side for a second, making calls and giving him everything he needed.
He discovered the body, so of course the police had questions for him. But he’s practically catatonic, he’s no help.
Tsukasa-nii’s still waiting for him when they’re finally done.
“Come on. Come with me. We’ll go to my house. You can stay there for now.”
“I…”
“No. I won’t let you go back to that house. Not now.”
When he finally ends up at the Tenma house, it’s already past the time school starts. No one else is home. Tsukasa-nii just leads him up to the guest room and puts him to bed.
“You must be tired. Go to sleep.”
He’s scared to close his eyes. Akito’s still not answering, his parents are dead, and he’s scared he’ll get up again and suddenly the one thing getting him through this will be gone.
“Don’t worry. It’ll all be fine.” He whispers, uncharacteristically quiet. It reminds Toya of when they were kids.
“…Tsukasa-nii?”
“Yes?”
“You’ll still be here when I get up, right?”
“Of course. I promise.”
He grabbed Tsukasa-nii’s hand and tried to reassure himself that he’d still be here, but nothing worked.
Eventually, his exhaustion overtook his fear and he fell asleep.
~
Toya snaps awake in a familiar bed and with an even more familiar person on the other side. He’s shaking.
“Akito!” He gasps out, and Akito wakes up almost instantly.
“What’s wrong?!”
His breathing finally settles. Oh, thank god.
“Nothing. I’m sorry.”
Akito reaches out and brushes a hair out of his face.
“Nightmare?”
“Y-Yes. I’d walked into my house and found my parents dead. And when I tried to call you, you didn’t answer.”
“Shit. Sorry. It’s fine now, though. Just a dream. Come here.”
He feels as if he can finally breathe again as he relaxes into Akito’s arms and slowly stops shaking.
“…I love you.” He whispers.
“I love you too. Now relax. It’s fine. I’m here.”
Akito’s there. Akito’s there, and everything is fine.
He loves it. He loves Akito.
Toya finally wakes up, and he hates it. The real world is too painful.
Tsukasa-nii is still there, still holding his hand.
“I told you. I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.” Tsukasa-nii whispers.
It… hurts.
It hurts.
“Akito…?”
“I’m sorry. We haven’t been able to find him. But don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine.”
Toya can’t talk anymore, he just gently squeezes Tsukasa-nii’s hand.
“It’s okay. You just relax. I love you.”
Another gentle squeeze. I love you too.
“I’ll be back soon, alright? Saki’s still at school and Mom and Dad are at work. I’m just going to make you something to eat.”
He grips onto Tsukasa-nii’s hand as tight as he can. Please, don’t leave me.
Tsukasa-nii sits back and relaxes.
“Okay. I won’t leave. I’ll stay as long as you need.”
Tsukasa-nii wraps an arm around him and pulls him close. It’s… warm.
This is all he has now.
Eventually, Toya doesn’t know how long it’s been, a door opens downstairs.
“Tsukasa! Toya! Are you guys here? Everyone’s worried!” Saki yells.
Tsukasa-nii turns to him, but Toya shakes his head. He should go to Saki. She’ll actually be able to smile at him.
“…I’ll be right back, okay?”
Toya still doesn’t respond, but the sound of Tsukasa-nii’s footsteps receding down the steps still hits his ears.
He’s alone again.
He swears he can still smell blood. And if he goes a little further back, something sweet.
Akito. Where is Akito?
Akito always answers his calls. He never just vanishes. It can be two in the morning or during class, Akito has never ignored him once.
Is something wrong?
God, please, have mercy on him just this once. He can’t take losing his partner too.
The next thing he knows, Saki’s footsteps are bolting out of the house and Tsukasa-nii’s are coming back up the steps.
“Saki’s going to tell everyone, okay? They’re going to see if they can track down Akito.”
Toya only nods. He’s in too much pain to speak.
Tsukasa-nii sits next to him on the bed again, and he pulls him as close as he can.
~
Akito wakes up with a jolt.
The first thing he registers is that his hands are handcuffed behind his back.
The second thing is that his arms and hands are around some kind of stone pillar.
…Fuck, he’s been kidnapped.
Okay, think. What the hell happened last night?
The last thing he remembers was running off from the victory party early in order to practice more…
Oh, right! He ran into Toya.
Wait. No. It was someone who looked like Toya, but definitely wasn’t him.
By the time he finally recalls everything, a woman has walked into the room.
“Oh, you’re awake.” She says, sighing.
Two-toned hair, tall… is she the one that he mistook for Toya?
…Hang on.
“Shimizu?”
“Caught me, Shinonome. Doesn’t matter now, though.”
Shimizu grabs his hair and pulls it harshly so that he’s looking up at her.
“What do you want?”
“Oh, isn’t it obvious? I want your sweet snowflake.”
“Snowflake?”
“Your partner that’s too damn good for you!”
Oh. She means Toya.
Wait, she wants Toya?!
“If you want him, why’d you kidnap me?”
“Oh, I’d rather have taken him. But he’s not stupid like you are. He ran home while it was still light out and while people were still around. You, however, are an idiot. And a horrible partner. You left him to walk home alone while a serial killer killing people that were matching his description was around? He was clearly panicked the whole time, Shinonome! He trusted you, and you just left him like that?! And you dare to call yourself his partner?!”
“If I weren’t tied up, I’d drink to that.” He replies, almost on instinct.
He should have known Toya was scared. He should have walked him home. And now he’s probably so worried about him while at school instead of being as happy as he deserves.
Shimizu blinks.
“I wasn’t expecting you to agree with me.”
“How could I not? All I do is hurt Toya. I love him, and he loves me, but that doesn’t mean I’m good enough for him.”
Shimizu sighs and sits down.
“Well, you know what I’m going to do now, right?”
“Punish me for being such a bad partner?”
“You’re damn right.”
“Great. I deserve it.”
“You know, it really kills my vibe when you agree with me like that. I should torture you twice as hard to make up for it.”
“Cool, go for it.”
Shimizu shakes her head and grabs a cattle prod from the table next to her.
“Here we go!”
She jams the prod into Akito’s neck and he yelps in pain.
Jesus fuck, that sucked.
Fuyune finally pulls it back and Akito can’t help but sigh in relief.
But he deserves this. He’s a horrible partner.
“That all ya got?”
“Not even close. Let’s have some fun, Shinonome~!”
~
Toya’s sick of it all.
He’s sick of people parading in offering their condolences, and he’s sick of being alone in his own head. What a pair that is.
Tsukasa-nii walks in again with a plate of cookies and a cup of coffee.
“Come on, Toya. Please?”
Logically, he knows he should eat. Emotionally, he can’t. He feels like he’s going to throw up.
His parents are dead and no one can find Akito.
Where’s Akito? He needs him right now.
Did he finally run off? Did he somehow hear about all this before he found their bodies and decided to run off so he didn’t have to deal with Toya anymore?
He wouldn’t blame him. He’s been nothing but a burden this whole time.
His breath hitches in his throat again.
IloveyouImissyouIneedyoupleasepleasepleaseplease Partnerpleasecomeback-
Tsukasa-nii steps closer and puts a hand on Toya’s head.
“When we find Akito, how do you think he’s going to feel? He’s going to be so sad that he caused this. Please take a few bites at least.”
He reaches out to the plate, but he pulls his hand back at the last second.
“Okay. That’s fine. It’ll be here for whenever you’re hungry.”
Tsukasa-nii leaves again, and Toya moves over to the window seat.
The leaves on the nearby tree shake as a gust of wind blows by.
He rests here. Just staring at the window as the sun falls and night creeps in.
He never liked the night. The sun reminded him of Akito, so he wanted to bask in its glow.
That’s what his heart is. A black, moonless night that Akito lights up into day.
And now that sun has suddenly vanished. Even the stars have fled.
He sighs as he attempts to retreat deeper into his hoodie. It’s not warm enough. Akito’s hoodies always feel warmer somehow.
Is it just because of Akito? That’s probably it. Thoughts of his partner always keep him warm.
He should be frantic. Rushing around the street to find his partner.
But… he can’t move.
It’s been hours at this point. It’s almost midnight. And yet, without fail, Tsukasa-nii shows up with a final check-in.
“Are you going to go to sleep?”
Toya doesn’t respond. He doesn’t know how.
And yet, Tsukasa-nii still runs over and sits next to him.
“Watching the stars? Honami is an astronomy genius. She loves teaching the other girls the constellations.”
Toya still doesn’t respond, but Tsukasa-nii grabs his hand.
“Shizuku came by. I was surprised that she knew you. She says you met at the summer festival.”
The summer festival…
Toya still remembers the hours of grueling practice they did to get the dance routine down. Akito took to it easily, he’s always been athletic.
And then how they walked around the festival together, hand in hand. Next to Ena and Akiyama, and then Momoi-san and Hinomori-san.
They’d played way too many games. They promised to win Len the biggest prize they could, and they certainly fulfilled that promise.
The “Battle of the Shinonomes” as Akiyama called it. Two teams, Akito’s and Ena’s. Momoi-san and Akiyama on Ena’s, himself and Hinomori-san on Akito’s.
Carnival games were easy once you got the hang of them. He supposes he was just good at games like that.
Akito had ruffled his hair and nuzzled his cheek after he’d managed to win a prize that was bigger than everything else the other team had combined.
A giant banana plushie. Len greatly appreciated it.
Len… should he go to SEKAI? No one would bother him there. He could just stay there and disappear.
He wouldn’t have to live like this anymore. A sad, Akito-less life.
He felt his phone vibrate beside him, and he noticed Ready Steady turning back to Untitled out of the corner of his eye.
The worst part was that he couldn’t even bring himself to care.
Tsukasa-nii followed his eyeline and noticed the song on the screen.
“You have a SEKAI too?” He whispered.
Toya managed to shove a response out of his throat.
“…Yes…”
“…Okay. I’ll be back soon. I’m going to my SEKAI. I love you.”
He can’t force anything more out of his throat, but Tsukasa-nii knows that. He just plants a soft kiss on Toya’s forehead as he gets up and clicks a button on his phone.
He vanishes instantly. He’s alone again. All alone.
So he turns back to the window.
If Akito shows up, he’ll be the first to know.
~
Tsukasa returns to the glowing night of the Wonderland SEKAI and rushes to find someone. Anyone.
Finally, his wish is granted when he sees KAITO.
…And MEIKO, who is dressed very strangely.
“KAITO!”
“Tsukasa-kun! I was just about to come find you.” KAITO replies, turning back to him. “This is MEIKO.”
“I know who she is! But I have an emerge-”
“Is it about Akito and Toya?” MEIKO asks.
“H-How…?”
“I was still explaining.” KAITO chimes in again. “This isn’t our MEIKO. This is the MEIKO from Toya-kun’s SEKAI. Because you two are so close, it’s very easy to get from here to there. She came to me because she knew you two were very close and somehow their SEKAI song turned back into Untitled.”
“I saw it happen! I was right there!”
“How?” MEIKO says. “I can’t get into contact with Akito, every time anyone tries to visit Toya it boots us out, and the Vivids are always rushing around too busy to explain.”
Tsukasa shakes his head.
“Toya’s gone completely catatonic.”
“What?!”
“He won’t eat, he won’t sleep, he won’t talk, I don’t know what to do! That’s why I came here, I thought maybe you’d know. If he has a SEKAI too, then..”
Toya’s MEIKO shakes her head.
“I’m sorry. I don’t. What happened?”
Tsukasa takes a breath.
“A couple days ago, Toya went home and found his parents dead on the ground. They’d clearly been murdered. He tried to call Akito, but he wasn’t answering. So he called me, I came over, and… well…”
One of the lights on the Ferris Wheel bursts, and KAITO jolts back.
“Are you alright, Tsukasa-kun?”
Tsukasa put a hand to his chest and put on his best smile.
“Ha ha ha! Of course! My job is to help Toya! So I’m fine!”
Another light on the Ferris Wheel bursts, and KAITO shakes his head.
“Be serious with me.”
Tsukasa sighs.
“Of course I’m not alright. How could I be? Sure, in recent years the relationship hasn’t been very good between Toya’s parents and I, but they were still practically family. I called them auntie and uncle, I learned piano with them. And while I can’t forgive them for hurting Toya as much as they did, there’s still a bond between us. But I have to be strong. No one else can take care of Toya now.”
KAITO shakes his head and sighs.
“MEIKO, any ideas?”
“All I know is that our SEKAI just gained the ‘You can stay here forever.’ function and I’m very worried about that.” She replies.
“…Oh dear. So, Akito-kun is also gone?”
“Completely.” Tsukasa adds. “Without a trace.”
MEIKO shakes her head, and a nervous look appears in her eyes.
“I’ll try to get into contact with Akito again. Do you mind if I pop into your phone later? I think the reason we can’t get into Toya’s is because he wants to be left alone. Other than by you and Akito, of course.”
Tsukasa nods, and MEIKO breathes a sigh of relief.
“Thanks for this. Take care of him, okay?”
“Of course. It’s my duty!”
MEIKO smiles and walks away, and KAITO motions to Tsukasa.
“I’ll see you later.”
“Thank you, KAITO!”
Tsukasa clicks stop on The World Hasn’t Even Started Yet, and he appears back in Toya’s room.
…He still hasn’t moved. And he’s too tense to have fallen asleep.
“I’m back.” He whispers, and Toya doesn’t react.
But when he sits down on the window seat next to Toya, he feels his hand being grabbed.
“I love you too.” He whispers, and Toya stops responding again.
His hand is so delicate. Rough and calloused, yet so gentle.
It feels like he could shatter like glass at any moment.
Hmm… Toya’s always liked Doktor songs. This might not be the best moment, but he and Rui have been learning one…
Well, it can’t make things any worse, can it?
“Until I erase my memories of everything until today, I won’t be able to sleep.” Tsukasa starts. Fixer.
Toya doesn’t react, but Tsukasa tries one more time.
“I just can’t help but wish that someone would take my place living this life from tomorrow on.”
Toya still doesn’t react. Damn it, nothing.
Tsukasa falls silent, but Toya finally reacts with a gentle squeeze.
“You want me to keep going?”
Another squeeze. Yes.
“As you wish.” Tsukasa whispers, and this time he knows Toya knows what he means.
Tsukasa sings as lightly as he can, just enough for Toya to hear and no one else.
Toya finally seems to relax for the first time in days.
He’s still not falling asleep, but that’s okay. Tsukasa will stay as long as he wants.
Toya’s been calling him Tsukasa-nii. Normally he’d be thrilled about it, but…
…No time for thoughts like that. Toya’s relying on him completely. He won’t let him down.
He’ll see that smile again if it’s the last thing he does.
~
Akito spits out blood as Shimizu finally gets done beating him.
“Got anything else?” He asks.
She frowns.
“Are you a masochist or something? Because you seem to enjoy this too much.”
“Oh, hell no. This sucks. I’m just a piece of shit and I deserve it.”
Shimizu groans and collapses back onto the floor.
“You’re no fun. I’ve gotta go see my sweet snowflake to cheer me up.”
“Oh, hell yeah. Seeing Toya always makes me feel better too. Just be better to him than I was.”
Shimizu rolls her eyes.
“That’s not hard. Of course I will. I’ll just snatch him away from this place and we’ll move to Okinawa.”
“Wait, what?! You’re going to kidnap him too?!”
“That’s the first fun reaction you’ve had so far.”
“W-Wait, you don’t have to do that. You can’t take him away from here, everyone he loves is here. Come on, you can’t possibly believe that the Tenmas are bad for him.”
Shimizu considers it.
“…You may be right. I can charm them and comfort him, and we’ll love each other forever! And then he’ll be happier than ever!”
“Yeah! Do that! Don’t take him away from here.”
“You’re right! Thanks, Shinonome!”
~
In the end, Toya didn’t sleep. He wasn’t tired at all. If he slept, he’d dream about Akito and then wake up alone and it would all hurt again.
So he simply wasted away in front of the window.
Tsukasa-nii had taken it upon himself to put some things in the window seat for him, a few pillows, a blanket, and some of the plushies that he’d won Saki.
And his personal favorite, the Sea Bunny plushie that he’d won for himself and kept here. Orange accents. Akito had one too, one with blue accents. They reminded them of each other.
He held it close, not letting it go for a second. It was the best thing he had right now.
Tsukasa-nii had gone off to school today. People were starting to get concerned.
He’d even left his phone at home so that MEIKO could keep him company. But he barely responded to her words. He didn’t know how.
She was patient. They were all patient. But he was terrified of Tsukasa-nii leaving his side, praying that he’d come back like he promised and he wouldn’t lose the one person keeping him sane.
He promised he’d be right back after school, but…
Finally, the door opens. Has it already been that long?
No… those footsteps were too light to be Tsukasa-nii’s. Saki’s, probably.
And there was a second set of footsteps, one he didn’t recognize. MEIKO must have noticed them too, because she hid away quickly.
Saki appeared in front of him, and she gave him a Tenma smile. Pure sunshine. He wishes he could smile like that on command like Tsukasa-nii and Saki.
“Hi! I know, I know, I shouldn’t cut class. But someone wanted to say hi.”
She steps aside and reveals Shimizu, who joins him on the window seat.
“Hey there, Aoyagi-kun.” She whispers. He hates it when people call him that. It just reminds him of a few days ago when things were normal. When he was trying to define his name for himself. Now he’s just the Aoyagis’ orphaned son. “I heard about your parents and Shinonome-kun. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
She reaches out and grabs his hand.
It’s warm. It’s so warm.
He still can’t force any words out of his throat, but Shimizu shakes her head.
“Don’t worry about it. Why don’t we go out? I’ve heard that you haven’t been eating.”
He wants to shake his head, to tell her no, but he looks behind her and locks eyes with Saki.
There’s a pleading look in them. Toya, please.
He’s been such a burden on this house. The least he can do is get out for a while and not make them worry so much.
He simply nods, and she helps him up.
“I’ll hang out with MEIKO while you’re gone.” She whispers in his ear. He’s vaguely curious about how she found out about the SEKAI, but he can’t bring himself to care that much.
His legs feel wobbly and he feels like he’s about to collapse, but she guides him downstairs and outside.
“There’s a place I know. In a nearby park. Let’s go.”
They’re not walking for long, but it feels like hours before they finally sit down.
Shimizu pulls something out of a bag he didn’t notice she had with her, and he notices that it’s a bento box.
“I thought you might be hungry. Saki-chan told me you haven’t been eating.”
He doesn’t want to eat, but everything’s hitting him at once. The exhaustion, the hunger…
Maybe he can eat a bit.
The next thing he knows, half the box is finished and he no longer wants to throw up. Damn, he really was hungry.
“There we go! It’s nice here, isn’t it?”
He turns around, and he finally notices that they’re sitting by a lake.
“…Yes.”
Shimizu lights up at his response, and Toya feels slightly less empty inside.
“It’s so pretty.” She continues. “I love it here. Especially in winter.”
“Winter…”
“Well, it’s both of our namesakes, after all.” She says.
“Interesting.”
The longer he spends with her, the easier he finds it to talk.
“Aoyagi-kun-”
“Please don’t call me that.” He finally manages to choke out. “It hurts too much.”
Her eyes soften. She must understand why.
“Alright, Toya. You can call me Fuyune as well, if you’d like.”
“Alright, Fuyune.”
Fuyune lets out a little giggle.
“Fuyune and Toya. It’s almost like our names were meant to be together.”
“Seems like it.”
Fuyune pulls her hat off, and she reveals a section of light-colored hair.
“See? We’re pretty similar. I’m just like you, but reversed.”
Toya nods at her, and she continues.
“My parents are a lot like yours were. They’d make me practice day in and day out. For you, it was classical music. For me, it was archery. I always admired you, you know that? You broke away from what they wanted of you and found something you wanted to do. I didn’t get the chance to rebel like that.”
Toya looked at her confusedly. She’s not doing archery anymore, clearly. She’s a journalist. So she continues.
“My tremor. It stemmed from muscle overuse. It killed me in archery. My hands aren’t steady enough anymore, and it’ll just get worse if I keep overusing it. They treated me like I was dead to them after that. It was horrible.”
“I’m… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s fine now. Because now I’ve found someone who truly understands me.”
Fuyune reaches out and puts a hand over Toya’s, and he stiffens up.
He shouldn’t be enjoying this so much. His parents are dead and Akito is missing. He shouldn’t be letting her touch him like this. He’s barely even letting Saki touch him right now.
But… it’s so warm…
Would it be so wrong to enjoy this? Just a little?
~
When Tsukasa finally got home, Toya was gone.
He nearly panicked until Saki appeared next to him and shook her head.
“Don’t worry! He went out with Fuyu-senpai.”
Tsukasa turned to her in shock.
“With Shimizu ? How did she convince him to do that?”
Saki let out an embarrassed laugh.
“Well, I might have given him the puppy dog eyes…”
“Yes! Good job, Saki! Hopefully he feels a little better when he comes home!”
Tsukasa waits eagerly in the living room for Toya to show up, with the plate of cookies and a fresh cup of coffee.
Eventually, the door opens and Tsukasa is absolutely thrilled to see Toya looking less weak.
Tsukasa holds out the plate of cookies, but Toya shakes his head.
“Fuyune made me something to eat.” He simply says, but Tsukasa notices him staring longingly at the cup of coffee.
Tsukasa hands him the cup, and he takes it with a grateful look.
He’s so relieved that it takes him a second to realize something.
“Wait, when did Shimizu become Fuyune?!”
“Just now. She offered after I asked her not to call me… that.”
Tsukasa gave him a sympathetic glance before pulling him over to the couch.
“Well, that’s fine! If you want, we can just call you Toya Tenma from now on!”
That gets Toya to crack a small smile as he shakes his head.
“No, it’s fine. I like my name. I’m redefining it as mine, not as my father’s. It’s just…”
Toya trails off, and Tsukasa puts an arm around his shoulders.
“Alright then. You’re my little brother no matter what.”
He pulls Toya close and ruffles his hair, and he actually lets out a quiet chuckle!
“This conversation reminds me of one I had with Akito once. He said we should get married just to mess with my father. He’d take my name just to rub salt in the wound.”
Toya’s face falls again, and the pained look returns to his eyes.
“…And I guess I’ll never have those easy conversations again.”
Tsukasa shakes his head. Akito better have a damn good excuse for vanishing when Toya needed him, or Tsukasa will kill him himself.
“It’s going to be fine. Akito will be back soon, I’m sure of it.”
Toya messes with the sleeve of his hoodie.
“How can you know that?”
He doesn’t. He doesn’t know what’s wrong, he doesn’t know when Akito will be back, and he doesn’t know why someone who he trusted to take care of Toya when he couldn’t dissapeared when Toya needed him most.
“Because I believe. He’d never abandon you in your time of need! He’s probably just dealing with some sort of emergency.”
~
Shimizu’s gone. Probably with Toya now.
That’s… good. That’s really good. She’ll treat him better than Akito could.
So why does it hurt so much?
It’s almost like the pain in his chest is worse than the pain his body’s in.
He’s close to passing out, he knows, but he can’t do it now.
He sees someone out of the corner of his eye, and at first he thinks it’s Shimizu, but…
No, that’s not it. It’s Toya.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” He whispers.
His partner doesn’t respond, just glares at him from where he’s sitting.
He wants him closer, he wants him back in his lap so he can cuddle him like he deserves.
“I’m sorry. I’m such a shitty partner.” He whispers again, and it’s almost as if Toya’s glare gets sharper. “I should have walked you home. I should have stayed with you. You were scared and probably tried to call me, but I got fucking kidnapped. I should have known. I should have stayed with you. Can you ever forgive me?”
Toya finally gets up and stalks over, still looking angry.
“Forgive you? Forgive you for leaving me like that? For abandoning your partner ?” He says.
“You’re right. You shouldn’t ever forgive me. But… but I’ll spend every day of my life trying to make you happy if you just give me one more chance.”
Toya’s face shifts. It’s the same angry expression, but there’s a bruise on his cheek now.
“You love me, and yet you did this to me?”
Akito’s eyes soften.
“Partner, I’m so-”
“Do you think Tono-san would do this to Souma-san? Do you think An would do this to Kohane? No. No matter how angry they got, they’d never get violent with the person they claimed to love.”
“Toya, I do love you. Please, please believe me.”
Toya shakes his head, his hand pulling Akito’s face up to him.
“Don’t you understand it yet? You’re incapable of love, Akito. No matter how much I love you, you know that you’ll never be able to treat me like I deserve . I deserve a partner that won’t fly off the handle at me without a moment’s notice. I deserve a partner that won’t lead me on day in and day out with no intention of ever giving me what I crave. I love you, but you can’t love me.”
Akito’s crying now. He can’t deny it.
Some part of his brain knows that this isn’t Toya, it’s just his own thoughts coming out of Toya’s mouth, but it hurts just as bad. It’s like he’s being stabbed over and over again.
And with that, Toya roughly shoves Akito’s face down and stalks to the other side of the room.
No, no! He doesn’t want him to go.
He’s sobbing, he can’t breathe. He’s selfish. He doesn’t want Toya to be anyone else’s partner, even though he knows that Toya’s a literal angel who’s done nothing wrong except sing with Akito that day. Akito just drags him down, muddies that perfect divinity.
His chest finally hurts a little less when Toya turns around.
“You still don’t get it, do you?” Toya says, his voice laced with so much venom that it’s almost unrecognizable. “You think I don’t see it? The way you look at me like you want to hurt me sometimes? The way you’re barely restraining yourself from hitting me again? The way your muscles flex like you’re about to shove me into one of the tables at Weekend Garage? Now, what happens when you finally can’t resist? When you hurt me so badly that I can’t sing? You know I couldn’t fight back, not against you. Besides being physically incapable, I couldn’t hurt you. I love you too much for that.”
Toya comes close again, straddling him as he grabs Akito’s collar.
It’s a hallucination and Toya’s angry at him, but he can’t help but be pleased at Toya being so close to him again.
Akito wishes the cuffs around his wrists weren’t there just so that he could put his arms around Toya and pull him even closer. He wouldn’t run, he deserves this. But he just wants to hold Toya close and give him the world.
“…I love you.” He repeats, and Toya’s grip on his collar tightens. Dying at Toya’s hands wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
“For the sake of argument, let’s say that’s true. You’re capable of love and you do love me.”
“I might not be able to love you like you deserve, but how could anyone not love you?” He whispers. “I adore you.”
“Fine, fine. And what then? You mess with the one person who’s the reason I didn’t end up worse than I am every chance you get?”
“H-Huh?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, partner. You know who I mean.”
Mess with…?
…Shit.
“Partner, I really do respect Tsukasa-senpai. I’m grateful to him, even if I don’t like him.”
“I never said you had to like him. I’ve just asked you over and over again to stop messing with him and scaring him. And yet, you never do. Is your ego so fragile that you can’t stand to see me happy with anyone other than you?”
“I’ll never mess with him again. You’re more important. You’re more important than anything.”
Toya sighs.
“There you go again, saying things you know you can’t do. You’ll surpass RAD WEEKEND? You know you’re not talented enough for that. You know you’re a horrible singer, but you hope you can soar to the top with me.”
Akito can’t breathe. It’s not real, but he both wants and doesn’t want it to be.
And suddenly, he doesn’t know why, but Toya’s touch is suddenly gentle as he moves his hands from Akito’s collar to his face.
“What do you want from me, Akito? Do you want me to kiss you? To hold you as I tell you that you’re my one and only? That you’re the best partner ever and I don’t need anyone else as long as I have you?”
Toya…
“I-I do…”
Toya leans in closer, and Akito’s breath quickens.
“Well… too bad.” Toya whispers, his breath ghosting over Akito’s lips. “Now you know how it feels to be led on.”
Toya pulls himself off Akito’s lap and walks out the door without so much as a backward glance.
Akito can’t breathe. He can’t think. He just wants Toya back.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’ll worship you, I’ll do anything you want, just… come back! I won’t leave you alone again, not for a second!”
He’s yelling in an empty warehouse, but he doesn’t care. Even if it’s just a hallucination, he’d rather Toya hate him and yell at him than vanish again.
~
Ever since that day, Fuyune’s shown up. Whether with a snack, a story, or just to sit around, she’s always there.
He’s grateful to her. She’s been there every single day.
“You know, Toya? I can’t believe Shinonome-kun.” She starts, sitting with him on the window seat.
“Hm?”
She shakes her head, revealing her gray eye under her hair.
“I mean, what kind of person just runs off when his partner’s parents get murdered?”
“Runs off?”
Fuyune bites her lip.
“Toya, I think you have to accept that Shinonome-kun isn’t coming back.”
The idea of that sends a chill down Toya’s spine.
“Why? Do you know something I don’t?”
Fuyune reaches into her bag next to them and pulls out her notepad.
“I’ve been trying to track him down for you, but… nothing. No one’s seen him since the night he disappeared, and there have been no reports of a ransom or a body. I’m sorry, but I think he must have run off.”
Toya’s breath hitches in his throat again.
“…N-No…” He starts, but he suddenly can’t form coherent words anymore.
Akito… ran off…?
No. No, he won’t believe it. He can’t.
There’s a reason. He has a reason.
His partner wouldn’t just…
Fuyune puts a hand on top of Toya’s.
“I’m sorry. Forget what I said. You know him better than I do. If you think there’s a reason, there must be a reason.”
Easier said than done. He’s shutting down again, he can feel it. Suddenly, all the snacks spread out near him seem horribly unappetizing.
“Toya! How are you- What?!” Tsukasa-nii’s voice rings out as he pops into the room.
He opens his mouth, but the words still aren’t coming out. He hopes that his silent cry for help reaches him.
And it seems that it does, because Tsukasa-nii puts on his best fake smile and turns to Fuyune.
“Excuse me, would you mind leaving? I’ll handle this.”
“O-Of course. Again, Toya, I’m so sorry.”
She turns around and leaves within an instant, and Tsukasa-nii reaches out and grabs Toya’s hand as he takes her place.
His hand is so warm again, and Toya can’t breathe.
“…kasa…” Toya tries, but he can’t even finish his name.
“It’s okay. I’m here. Take your time.”
He collapses forward into Tsukasa-nii’s arms and starts to shake.
It hurts, it hurts.
No, Akito… Akito didn’t just leave. He wouldn’t. There’s a reason, there’s an explanation-
“…Akito…” He finally manages to get out.
Tsukasa-nii’s grip on his back gets stronger.
“…I told her not to tell you that. I can’t believe her. She’s wrong. She doesn’t know Akito like we do. He’d never leave you behind like that.”
He wants to ask again. He wants to ask how Tsukasa-nii knows, but he knows he doesn’t. He just keeps faith.
He trusts Tsukasa-nii more than almost anyone else in the world. He’ll believe him. He’ll believe him as long as he can. Because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he’s wrong.
~
Fuyune walks back into the abandoned warehouse, grabs a hammer off the table, and slams Shinonome’s leg so hard that he howls in agony.
“The… the fuck was that one for?” He asks, once he’s recovered slightly.
“My sweet snowflake is still under your stupid spell, that’s what! Tenma kicked me out because when I tried to tell him that you just ran off, he shut down completely again!”
“‘Shut down’…?”
“He’s not even going to school! He didn’t eat or sleep for three days because he was so worried about you, and when I finally get him to start recovering, the mere mention of you sends him spiraling again! You’ve played him too damn well, Shinonome!”
Shinonome’s eyes soften, and he shakes his head.
“I’ve still got one good leg. Take that one out too.”
“Seriously, are you sure you’re not a masochist?” Fuyune starts, putting the hammer over her shoulders. “This is fun, but the point of it is to punish you. It’s not the same if you’re getting off on it.”
“No, seriously, I’m not a masochist.” Shinonome starts. “This fully sucks, my entire body is in pain. I think I’m just dissociating and shoving it into the background.”
“I just feel like that’s what a masochist would say.”
“No, there’s nothing wrong with being a masochist. I’d own up to it if I was one. And like… if I were smarter, I’d lie and say I was one because you’d stop.”
“True. Well, then!”
Fuyune brings her hammer down to Shinonome’s other leg, and he screams in agony once again.
~
It takes an entire week for Saki and Tsukasa to let Fuyu-senpai back in the house, but when Kohane and An show up with her they can’t keep her outside.
Saki gives her a glare as she leads Kohane and An upstairs first.
…Toya’s still just sitting at the window seat.
“…Toya-kun?” Kohane starts.
Toya’s eyes flit to her for a second before shifting to looking out the window.
“I-Uh…”
“He’s listening, don’t worry.” Saki chimes in.
Kohane gulps and sits down next to him at the window seat.
“Are you looking for Akito-kun?”
Toya gives a small nod, almost imperceptible.
“…I thought so. D-Do you want a hug? It’s okay if you don’t, but…”
Toya shakes his head very slightly.
“Okay…” Kohane breathed out, before getting off the window seat.
An ran her hand down her other arm and held a bag up.
“Dad made you some cookies and a thermos of your favorite coffee. MEI-” An’s eyes flit to Saki. “Uh, she also made some cookies.”
“It’s okay. Tsukasa and I both have SEKAIs too.” Saki mutters.
An’s eyes widen and she turns to Saki, but she shakes her head.
“The Kagamine twins helped. Len said he misses you. Do you want to talk to him?”
That certainly got Toya to react.
“N-No… I’ll… I’ll do nothing but make him feel worse.”
Toya gives a breathy heave and collapses back onto the window, and Saki reaches out and gives his shoulder a squeeze. It’s okay. Just relax.
Saki didn’t know what to do. Tsukasa was the one who always helped Toya out. She was in the hospital, and Tsukasa has always been a star at comforting people.
An moved closer to Saki and Kohane and whispered something under her breath so that only the blondes could hear.
“If Akito doesn’t have a damn good explanation for disappearing right now, I’m going to kill him.”
Saki couldn’t help but agree. Toya needed Akito right now, and he was MIA! What the hell were they supposed to do?!
And then stupid, stupid Fuyu-senpai. The hope that Akito is just busy is the only thing keeping Toya sane! He was doing better! But not anymore! Just because she had to go out and think that Akito abandoned Toya! That’d never happen!
Fuyu-senpai opens the door. Speak of the devil.
She musters up her best glare, and Fuyu-senpai gives her an apologetic look.
“Toya, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up to you when you’re like this. I… I thought it might help you move on, but clearly not. I can’t apologize enough. Could you ever forgive me?”
Toya doesn’t respond other than giving a tiny nod, but that’s enough for Fuyu-senpai. She joins him on the window seat again and Toya still doesn’t respond.
“I-I made you some cookies, if you want any?”
A shake. No.
He stops responding again, just staring out the window.
~
If possible, please don’t go too far away.
If at all possible, please spare me the pain.
Don’t mind me. Stay away from me. Shut your eyes tightly in the face of this conflict.
No need to return the favor. Talk to me. Look straight into my eyes, through the window.
Every lyric echoes over and over in his head. He wants to sing, but he can’t even talk.
Singing feels… wrong without him.
Fuyune is still sitting there, staring. An and Kohane left a while ago, and Saki had to go finish her homework, so they’re alone.
She doesn’t push, just sits there looking at him guiltily as she fiddles with her notepad.
She puts it down next to him, and Toya reaches for it.
Her handwriting is shaky, clearly because of her hand tremor.
Notes on Akito Shinonome
Closest relationships: Toya Aoyagi, Ena Shinonome, An Shiraishi, Kohane Azusawa, Ken Shiraishi, Shiho Hinomori
Somewhat friends: Majority of singers on Vivid Street, especially Kotaro Mita.
Rivals: The Phantom of Vivid Street, Arata Tono
None of his closest relationships have heard from him in days, and no one on Vivid Street has seen him since his disappearance. The Phantom is untraceable. Tono claims that Shinonome’s resolve wouldn’t have let him run off. Vivid Street seems to think something’s happened to him, and Mita told me to search the building with BAD DOGS graffiti marking a secret entrance.
The building:
I found Shinonome-kun! He seemed to be doing something on his phone. I’ll have to follow him!
The train station:
I finally got a look at Shinonome-kun’s phone. He seems to have bought a plane ticket to America… I’ve bought a ticket for the same train he’s going on, I hope this isn’t what I think it is.
The airport:
I temporarily lost him in the hustle and bustle. I hate to admit it, but it looks like he ran off… What a horrible person!
I did manage to get to the flight just before he got on. I noticed that he threw something in the trash behind him. A CD. Solstice, by Harumichi Aoyagi. I fished it out and noticed that it was signed by Toya-kun. Oh dear, what am I going to tell him?
Toya can’t breathe.
He zoned out halfway through the notes. His brain couldn’t comprehend the words.
He gave up and threw the notepad down again. Whatever it said, it must have been wrong. Akito would never just run off like that.
But Fuyune is determined. She hands him a CD.
“Toya, I…”
…What? This is…
He popped the case open.
That’s… his signature on it.
But… that means…
His throat is closing up. No, no.
“How…?” He groans out.
“I… I found it in the garbage can at the airport.”
No!
Toya wanted to scream.
There’s… there’s a reason. Akito’s being blackmailed or something. He’s not doing this willingly.
He’d… he’d never…
He holds the CD to his chest and feels tears running down his cheeks, and Fuyune pulls him close.
“Snowflake, I’m so sorry. I hate to be the bearer of bad news like this. You’re too good for him.”
“S-Snowflake…?”
Fuyune freezes up.
And then… then it’s like an impulse runs through her body, and she reaches forward and kisses him with everything she has.
It’s… warm. But it’s not a comforting warmth. Just a warmth on his lips.
He… he can’t push her away. He’s frozen.
When she finally moves away, Toya shakes his head.
Fuyune freezes.
“I’m so sorry… I…”
Toya pulls himself further away from her warmth. Shit, there’s…
Fuyune’s eyes soften, and there’s something in them.
That’s… that’s the way Akito looks at him.
Shit, shit. No, has he been giving her the wrong impression?
He doesn’t…
The panic must have been obvious on his face, because she turned away.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be going now.”
~
The cattle prod’s too good for Shinonome. So’s the hammer.
What should she do…?
Oh, here’s an idea.
She grabs a bucket from the corner and fills it up with cold water from a hose attachment outside.
She walks in with the bucket and puts it in front of Shinonome.
“Let’s try something new! Because my sweet snowflake rejected my advances because of you again! ”
She slams the bucket down, grabs him by the hair, and jams it into the water.
She holds his head down until he starts getting weaker, and then pulls him out for air.
“Deep breath~!”
He gasps, and she shoves him back in the moment his mouth closes.
After a few more rounds, Fuyune’s finally satisfied and she throws him back hard enough for his head to bang into the pillar.
“I actually managed to kiss my sweet snowflake, and he hated it! It’s all your fault! It’s because he still loves you!”
Shinonome shakes his head between coughs.
“Shimizu, you’ve… you’ve gotta slow down with Toya. Just be nice to him and let him come to you. Push it, and you’ll scare him off. It took me six months before I called him by his name, you’re already way ahead of me.”
Fuyune felt a lightbulb go off in her head.
“…That’s it!”
“Huh?”
“I’ll make you talk me through a date with him! You’ll know exactly what he wants, and then I’ll be able to make him fall for me!”
“W-What?”
Fuyune reaches out and grabs his arm.
“You’ll do it, right? Or I could just torture you more for disobeying me.”
There’s… pain in Shinonome’s eyes. More than she’s seen the entire time they’ve been here.
So that’s what he cares about.
And yet, he still turns away and agrees.
~
Akito sits back, staring at the tablet that’s just out of his reach as he listens to the video call through his earbuds.
But it’s all worth it when finally, finally Toya walks into the restaurant.
And it’s worse than he could ever have thought.
Even from the screen, Akito can tell he’s not walking properly. His eyes are sunken and he’s way skinnier than when Akito last saw him.
When Toya collapses into the chair, he lets out a sigh of relief.
Akito looks to the menu that she got him and scans it hurriedly. Hm…
“Ask him if he wants the curry. I know, there’s squid in it, but offer to take it off his hands if he eats something you don’t like off your plate.”
Shimizu instantly does what he asks, and the pain in Akito’s chest subsides a little when Toya agrees. Good. Toya’s always been skinny, but never this thin.
Has he been sleeping at all? Toya pretty much lives off coffee, but he never looks this tired.
She said that he’d shut down, but this bad? Tsukasa-senpai must be having a hell of a time trying to take care of him.
Did his disappearance really mess with Toya that much…?
Gah, he’s such a shitty partner. He should have been with Toya.
“Snowflake, I’m sorry.” Shimizu’s voice rings out over his headphones. “You’ve been through so much. You’re really strong.”
Akito finally notices that Toya was clutching something to his chest when he puts it down on the table. A CD?
“…Thank you, Fuyune.” Toya whispers, and his voice sounds hoarse. Oh god. He’s been crying.
“Brush his hair out of his face. When he’s upset, he likes physical contact.” Akito whispers, and he wishes that he was sitting there so he could tell Toya that it’s okay and that he’ll never leave him behind again.
Shimizu does it, and Toya instinctively grabs her hand and pulls it to his cheek. Oh god, he’s super upset.
Shit, where’s Tsukasa-senpai? Toya needed him. Badly.
“I’m sorry about the kiss. I’m interested in you, yes, but I shouldn’t have done that. I needed to give you time.”
“…I… I'm sorry. I didn’t realize I was giving you that impression. I still… I still love Akito…” Toya replied, and Akito couldn’t breathe.
Shimizu shook her head and tapped the CD on the table.
“Toya, I’m putting my feelings aside. Shinonome called this thing a ‘symbol of your partnership,’ didn’t he? How did I find this in the garbage then?”
Wait, no… she didn’t…
Toya grabs the CD again, and Akito finally sees the title. Solstice.
Shit. She broke into his house and stole his most precious possession.
“It’s a misunderstanding. There was an accident of some sort. He wouldn’t do that. I trust him.”
Goddamn it, Toya.
Shimizu shakes her head.
“Why do you trust him so much?”
Toya lets out a bitter laugh.
“Because if I don’t, if my parents were murdered and my partner abandoned me on the same night, my life isn’t worth living anymore.”
Murdered?!
Shit, did she…
Holy fucking shit. She fucking killed Toya’s dad.
“What the fuck did you do?!”
Shimizu doesn’t respond.
She… She killed Toya’s parents. No fucking wonder he’s so upset. He lost almost everyone he cared about in one night. Sure, Toya didn’t exactly get along with his parents, but he still loved them.
Tsukasa-senpai’s gotta be trying his hardest, but he’s never seen Toya shut down this hard before.
She claims to love Toya, but she hurt him worse than Akito ever could.
He… he can’t let this go on. She hurt Toya so much.
He left her to flounder on the date, and it was clear that Toya was getting more uncomfortable by the second.
Eventually, he left before dessert and the camera barely caught Tsukasa-senpai putting an arm around his shoulders and taking him somewhere. Good. Tsukasa-senpai will make sure he’s okay.
When she finally came back, she looked fucking pissed.
“Just left me there, did you?”
“You killed his fucking parents!”
“You know how horrible they were to him! He deserved better!”
“Shut the hell up! I know they fucking suck, that’s why I always let him stay over at my house and listened when he bitched about them! But he still loved them! He wanted his dad to respect his choices, and he actually believed that they could get there someday! It was his choice what to do about his parents, not yours!”
“What do you know?! He’s too sweet to hate them! He needs someone to protect him!”
“Protect him?! Toya’s not stupid! He’s more capable than people think!”
“Of course he’s capable! But he’s too nice, so I’ll fix his problems for him!”
“He didn’t want that! You took away his choice! He was either going to cut his family out or he was going to get them to understand!”
“It’s not about choice, it’s about what’s good for him!”
“You’re acting just like his dad, damn it! Your good intentions don’t excuse the fucked up shit you did!”
Shimizu grabs Akito’s phone out of her pocket and shoves it in Akito’s face.
“I’m going to call Toya, and you’re going to tell him to stop looking for you and that you left! Got it?!”
That’s… that’s just going to hurt Toya more.
“Hell no! You can beat me all you want, you’ll never make me do that!”
Shimizu grabs the hammer and knocks him out.
~
When Akito comes to, Shimizu has him strapped to a table.
“Morning~ Took you quite a while to wake up, Shinonome.” Shimizu says from somewhere behind him.
“I already told you… I’m not gonna hurt Toya more,” Akito insists. A fire’s been lit within him, and despite how tired he is. He just thinks of Toya’s words. “If my parents were murdered and my partner abandoned me on the same night, my life isn’t worth living anymore.” If he could he’d rush over to Toya right then and hold him close but… Akito’s not stupid. He’s not leaving here alive.
But if some idea of him is keeping Toya going, then fine. Toya can give up on him on his own time, but Akito’s not going to make it worse by shattering whatever Toya has left.
“While it’s admirable that you’ve decided to have standards, it won’t help,” Shimizu says. There’s a sound of switch being flipped and suddenly electricity crackles through Akito’s body. Thousands of white hot needles light him up, and he forgets how to breathe.
Then just as quickly as it started, it’s over and Akito’s panting. “T-That all you got?” Akito gasps.
Shimizu flips the switch again, and again. She doesn’t wait a consistent amount of time, so Akito can never brace himself, and each time Akito can’t help screaming until his throat his raw and his voice is hoarse.
After who knows how many times, there’s the distinct smell of burning hair.
“How do you feel about making that call?” Shimizu asks.
“N-no.” Akito says.
“Now your stupid stubborness comes out. Do you really not value your life?”
“You can’t kill me,” Akito says. “You need me to make that call. Because Toya loves—”
The switch is flipped, white hot pain, and then it’s over.
Akito lets out a weak laugh that still manages to rattle around in his sore chest. “You said it yourself. For some reason he’s still hung up on me, and if my body shows up on the news, he’ll know I didn’t run off. And then he’ll move on, but he won’t move on with you because you kept insisting I abandoned him. So you can’t kill me.”
Again the switch. Again the pain. Again the reprieve.
Finally, Shimizu walks into view. She grabs Akito by the hair. “I don’t know why you thought you could outwit me, but you really aren’t as smart as you think you are, because I assure you, I can do things to you that you never would have dreamed of.” She gives him a toothy, manic grin. “I do so like to be thorough.”
Somewhere on his arm, Akito feels a pinprick.
“That didn’t even hurt,” Akito says.
“Oh, I didn’t choose toad venom because it hurts, Shinonome.”
After about half a minute, Akito’s heart starts racing and spots start dancing in front of his vision. Shimizu un-straps him from the table and more or less shoves him onto the floor, where he curls into a ball.
Suddenly the pain is nothing to the horrific dread he feels. It’s like something has been kickstarted in his brain and all he can think about is the feeling of imminent death. He doesn't know why or how, but he knows he’s going to die. It’s a primal feeling, some leftover instinct from millions of years ago screaming at him that he’s got to do something because he’s going to die. He’s going to die he’s going to he’s going to die he’s going to die he’s going to die—
The shadows are growing longer and bending into different shapes, like hands trying to claw at him. Akito tries to move away, but his whole body is in pain and he can’t move.
“Shinonome-kun~” Shimizu says. He flinches at the sound of her voice, and he can’t make out where she is between the shadows and the dancing spots. “Do you want to make the call now?”
Call? What call? He can’t be thinking of a call right now when he’s about to die. There’s something lurking around here, something much worse than Shimizu.
Suddenly, there’s the sound of a dog barking, and Akito’s heart practically stops. The shadows are starting to form a clearer shape now, massive maws waiting to rip him apart, if his heart doesn’t explode first.
“What about Toya?” Shimizu asks. “Toya’s going to be in trouble if you don’t call him~”
Toya? Toya’s going to be in trouble? What’s going to happen to him? Will the dogs rip him apart? A thousand terrible possibilities race through Akito’s mind, his newfound anxiety making each one worse than the other.
“Shinonome, talk to me.”
“Where’s Toya? Is he ok?”
“Good. Still coherent. So? Going to make the call?” Shimizu asks. “I mean you’re going to die soon anyway, right? You can feel it.”
His confidence from earlier is gone. What was he thinking? She’s right, he’s going to die. It’s imminent. Every part of his brain is screaming it.
(One very small part in the back knows it’s the venom talking, but it might as well not exist with how it’s drowned out by every instinctual part of his brain trying to figure out how to not die)
And then Akito feels a phone enter his hands, and sees that it’s calling Toya. Oh God, Toya! What will happen if he’s dead?! He can’t just leave it like this.
So despite his nerves, Akito forces his voice to steady as soon as the phone picks up.
~
Toya just leans back on the window seat. Kamishiro-senpai came over, so Saki and Tsukasa-nii were talking to him.
He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think.
Akito…
Eventually, Kamishiro-senpai walks into the room and joins him on the window seat, snapping Toya out of his head again.
“…Kamishiro-senpai?” He whispered, but Kamishiro-senpai shook his head.
“You can stop that. I’m dating your brother. Call me Rui.”
Toya felt a little shocked.
“…What did Tsukasa-nii say to you?”
“He said you’d prefer it if I called you Toya-kun. So, I thought it was unfair if I was casual with you and you still had to be formal with me. Is that alright?”
“…Fine. Thank you, Rui-senpai.”
“No problem, Toya-kun.”
Rui-senpai’s eyes flit to the CD that Toya’s clinging onto, and his eyes soften.
“…Mizuki told me about that CD. How did you get it?”
Toya’s breath hitched in his throat.
“I-Fuyune said…”
“…?”
“…Said that she found it in the garbage at the airport…”
Rui-senpai looks confused at that, but he doesn’t say anything more.
Toya sighs and turns to the window again, while handing Rui-senpai a notebook.
“I tried to, but I couldn’t bring myself to read this. It’s Shimizu’s notes on why she thinks Akito ran off.”
Rui-senpai reads them, and the confused look intensifies.
And then his phone vibrates next to him.
He doesn’t even turn back to it, but Rui-senpai practically shakes him.
“It’s Aki-kun!”
Toya’s eyes snap open and he feels better than he has in weeks.
He scrambles for the phone and clicks the answer button, practically lighting up.
“Akito!”
Saki lets out a giggle and Tsukasa-nii lets out one of his characteristic laughs.
“Toya, I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. Akito, I need you rig-”
Akito cuts him off.
“I’m sorry. I’m not coming back.”
Toya’s phone almost slips out of his hands at that statement.
“A-Akito…?”
“Toya, I’ve done nothing but hold you back this entire time. Stop looking for me, I’m done with singing.”
“Partner, this isn’t funny.”
“Stop calling me that. I’m not your partner.”
Toya feels himself getting lightheaded, and the phone finally slips out of his hands. Rui-senpai instinctively catches it.
“Listen, Toya, you should find someone better for you. Someone that’s not going to fly off the handle at you. Maybe someone you have more in common with.”
Rui-senpai’s eyes turn confused again at that, but he still doesn’t say a word.
Tsukasa-nii certainly does though.
“How dare you, Akito!” He yells. “How dare you hurt Toya like this!”
Rui-senpai motions at him to cut it out.
“What?! Rui-”
“Aki-kun, what do you mean by someone Toya-kun has more in common with?” Rui-senpai cuts him off.
“Nothing. I’m done. Bye for good. Take care of him, Senpai. God knows I haven’t.”
There’s no strength left in Toya’s body. He wants to scream, cry, and break something, but he doesn’t have the energy to do it.
“The… The CD…?” Toya whispers.
“I didn’t deserve it. So I got rid of it. I shouldn’t have bought it in the first place. Bye.”
“Akito, please!” Toya manages to cry out, but the call ends.
He’s shaking. Everything hurts.
No, no. Akito’s left him.
There are no other thoughts in his head.
Akito… doesn’t want to be his partner anymore.
Akito is gone.
His vision is growing blurry. The emotions are too much, and it’s like his body is shutting down in response.
Almost everyone he’s ever loved is gone.
He’s dizzy, and his body finally shuts down.
When Toya wakes up, he’s on a train.
He’s running through the train cars for some reason. He doesn’t know why. He just knows that he needs to find someone.
That familiar flash of ginger hair, and he spins on his heel. There!
It’s late at night, and no one else is there. Just Akito, sitting in a train car.
He instinctively moves forward to that familiar warmth. That sweet scent that he can’t get enough of.
His chest feels light as he twines his legs with his partner’s and smiles at him.
But he’s surprised when he looks at his partner’s face and sees none of that familiar warmth. Just mild annoyance.
“Akito?” He asks.
“You left me behind once, I’m just returning the favor.” Akito replies.
“What? Akito, I-”
“Shut it, Toya. Just go.”
“Akito, please!”
Akito shoves Toya away and walks to another car.
Toya runs ahead, but he can’t keep up. Is the train endless?
He loses Akito in the cars, and he can’t find him again. No, no!
He’s running, but his body can’t take it anymore and he falls to the ground.
He’s sobbing. No, no!
He’s screaming now, begging for Akito to come back. He can’t live without him.
What is his life worth living without Akito by his side?!
Toya wakes up in bed with Tsukasa-nii, Saki, and Rui-senpai looking down at him.
He opens his mouth, but the words don’t come out.
He gives up on it after a second. He can’t breathe or think, so what’s the point in trying to speak?
What’s the point in doing anything anymore?
He just shuts his eyes again and attempts to escape, but all he sees is Akito leaving him behind.
So he stays awake. There’s nothing more he can do.
~
It’s been a few days. Toya seems like he’s going to die.
And Tsukasa is out for blood.
He doesn’t care how far away Akito is, he will find him and he will kill him.
Saki’s coming along too, she wants a piece of him.
And he doesn’t know why Rui’s coming along, but he’s grateful for the support.
Rui somehow manages to track Akito’s phone even though the GPS was being spoofed, whatever that means.
So they make their way to a warehouse.
“When I find Akito, I’m going to kill him!” Tsukasa yells, practically shaking.
Rui still seems lost in thought as they rush through the halls of the warehouse. Tsukasa can’t imagine why.
But he doesn’t have time to worry.
“We’re almost there, Tsukasa-kun.” Rui mutters, “Make a left at the next turn.
Tsukasa does as he’s told, and then they find themselves in the main room of the warehouse.
With… Akito there.
Handcuffed to a pillar?!
He’s covered in burns and bruises, but what stands out most is just how… tired he looks.
“I knew it…” Rui muttered. “Everything in her notes was off!”
Akito barely reacted to their presence, just searching the group.
“Where’s Toya?” He asks. “He always shows up when I start hallucinating.”
“Akito, you’re not hallucinating!” Saki chimes in. “This is real!”
Akito freezes up at that.
“That’s even worse. Then you guys are here to kill me for hurting Toya, right? Just leave me here. It’s way worse.”
Rui pulls a blowtorch out of his pocket, and Tsukasa is surprised at how unsurprised he is at this action.
“So, what are you guys going to do to me with that? You can’t beat her. She’s a master of torture, it gets her high.” Akito asks.
“Nothing! We’re not here to hurt you, Akito!” Saki chimes in.
Akito shakes his head.
“I literally heard Tsukasa-senpai yell that you guys were coming to kill me.”
Saki winces back.
“T-That was before… this…”
“It’s fine. I deserve it.”
Rui finally uses the blowtorch on the chain between the cuffs on Akito’s hands, and he lets out a sigh as Akito stands up.
Tsukasa shakes his head and walks over to Akito.
“Akito, come on. Let’s go see Toya. He’ll be so happy to see you.”
That certainly got Akito to react.
“N-No! Don’t! I’ve done nothing but hurt Toya! I’ll never be good enough for him! Senpai, you love him, right? Then keep me the hell away!”
Tsukasa’s eyes soften. Oh, dear god.
“Akito, Toya needs you-”
“No! Don’t, please! I already abandoned him, I can’t… I didn’t want to…”
Rui shakes his head.
“Alright, Aki-kun. We won’t make you see Toya-kun right now. But will you at least tell us who did this to you?”
“S-Shimizu! She… she killed Toya’s parents! Is she with him right now? I don’t have the right to try and help, but you guys have to get her away from him!”
Tsukasa feels a flash of fear go through his skin. He’s let the woman who caused Toya all this pain near him all this time?!
“Got it. Tsukasa-kun, take him to the hospital. Saki-kun, we’ll handle her.”
Tsukasa grabs Akito and pulls him up.
He shakes his head. Thank god someone’s calm right now. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if he’s faced with Shimizu.
Rui grabs his shoulder.
“Call the police the moment you get to the hospital. I’ll keep her busy.”
“Alright. Be safe. I’m trusting you with Saki and Toya.”
“I’ll prove that your trust isn’t misplaced.”
~
Toya doesn’t know how he got here. A minute ago, Fuyune showed up and now he’s in a restaurant with the Vivids, Ena, and Akiyama.
Fuyune had jokingly called it a triple date, but he couldn’t care less.
His life wasn’t worth living anymore. He wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation around him.
His food was getting cold. He hadn’t even touched it.
Akito’s words pierced his skin and numbed his senses. He doesn’t feel anything anymore.
Rui-senpai and Saki burst into the restaurant, but he can’t bring himself to care.
“Shimizu!” Rui-senpai yells.
“Kamishiro? What is it?” Fuyune replies.
Rui-senpai pulls the notepad that Fuyune had given him out of his pocket.
“I’d like to talk to you.”
“Can it wait? We’re in the middle of something.”
“It’ll only be a moment. It’s about your notes on Aki-kun.”
Fuyune freezes up.
“What about them?”
“I just found them a little strange…” Rui-senpai starts. “You claimed that Aki-kun bought a ticket to America, didn’t you?”
Toya froze up, and he finally felt words come out of his throat.
“America? Why would he…?”
Fuyune shrugs.
“Street music is pretty big there, isn’t it?”
Toya shakes his head.
“Yes, but Akito doesn’t speak English.”
“Thank you, Toya-kun. I found that odd as well.” Rui-senpai chimes in.
Fuyune’s eyes widened slightly, but she kept her cool.
“What does that matter? Maybe he bought a ticket for somewhere else and I misread it. Maybe he was feeling bad compared to Tono-san and decided to go overseas to train. So what?”
Rui-senpai shook his head.
“So, this. Shinonome-san, do you know if Aki-kun has a passport?”
Ena shakes her head, the pieces seemingly falling into place for her.
“Neither of us do.”
“What? Everyone has a passport.” Fuyune says.
“I understand why someone who frequently goes abroad would think that, but most people don’t have passports.” Rui-senpai adds. “So, how did Aki-kun go to America without one?”
Fuyune shakes her head.
“Maybe he got one. How should I know?”
“He just got a passport and no one noticed? That’s a very drastic change, no?”
“And he’s rather clever. I wouldn’t put it past him to do it on his own.”
Rui-senpai shakes his head again.
“When was the last time you renewed your passport, Shimizu? You need a parent or guardian’s signature.”
Fuyune finally seems to snap as she slams her hand on the table.
“Alright! Fine! I was wrong about him buying plane tickets! Why the hell are you harassing me about it?! Do you think I did something to him?! None of this proves that!”
Rui-senpai gives a catlike smirk.
“You’re right. The mistakes in your notes only show that you were overconfident in your assumptions, but we already knew that. You must excuse my theatrics, I am a showman after all. I can’t help but build up to the finale.”
“Finale? What finale?!”
“See, your notes don’t prove anything other than the fact that you’re a bad journalist. But the warehouse we found Aki-kun tied up in which has instruments of torture that are certainly covered in your fingerprints does.”
Fuyune starts to shake slightly.
“W-What?!”
Rui-senpai walks over to Fuyune and tilts her head up to his face.
“You heard me. We already found him, Shimizu. ”
Toya felt himself freezing.
She… she kidnapped Akito?
Then the call, the CD, it was all her?
Fuyune turns to Toya.
“Snowflake-”
“Don’t call me that!” Toya yells, pure adrenaline kicking in as he steps away from her.
“Toya! Please, listen to me! You deserve so much better than him!”
“Shut up! What did you do to him?!”
“Nothing he didn’t deserve! He said so himself!”
She takes a step closer, and Toya backs away again.
“Why?! Why would you do that?!”
“It was all for you!” Fuyune yells. “You’re pure as snow, Toya! You need someone that will get their hands dirty for you! Hurting everyone that ever tried to muddy you!”
She… no, no, she…
“So… my parents… that was you as well? And Akito? It was all you?”
Fuyune takes another step closer.
“Snowflake…”
“Get the hell away from me!” Toya yells. “You… I trusted you! And you took away everyone I’ve ever loved!”
“None of them were good enough for you! Your parents forced you to play until you ran off, and Shinonome literally punched you when you realized what he was!”
She came closer again, and more witnesses started to gather around them. His body was shaking, he needed to get the fuck away from her.
And then the police burst in.
It’s a whirlwind again from then on, but he feels everything start to hit him at once. He’s starving, he’s exhausted, he’s thirsty…
He feels that the edges of his vision start to blur, but he can’t faint yet. He has to see Akito, he has to know that he’s okay.
He doesn’t know how he got here, but he’s somehow at the hospital.
Toya’s breath hitches in his throat, just searching for Tsukasa-nii with Rui-senpai by his side.
“TOOOOOYAAAAA, RUUUUUIIII!”
There he is.
Rui-senpai runs ahead, and Toya tries his hardest to keep up, but he wasn’t the most athletic to begin with and the days of not eating and sleeping are starting to catch up to him.
Eventually, he does catch up and Tsukasa-nii gives him a bright smile.
“There you are! Akito’s unconscious right now, but they’re fixing him up. Let’s go home for now so you can rest and eat up. He’ll be so worried if he sees you like this.”
Toya shakes his head.
“No, I need to see Akito. Just for a second.”
Tsukasa-nii’s smile turns strained for a split second before returning to his bright one.
“Are you sure? Maybe you should wait for him to wake up.”
“…Why don’t you want me to see him?” Toya asks.
Rui-senpai shakes his head before chiming in.
“It’s… bad. Really bad. Are you sure you want to see him like this?”
“Of course. He’s my partner. I can’t leave him now.”
Rui-senpai nods and walks over to a door.
“Technically no one’s allowed in, so you’re not going to have much time.” He says, putting his hand on the handle.
Toya nods, and Rui-senpai opens the door.
“In here.” He says.
Toya walks into the room and is completely stunned.
“Akito…” He whispers.
He’s bruised, bloodied, and there’s burn marks all over him.
God, what is this…? What did she do to him?
He wants to reach out, but he’s scared of aggravating some of the injuries, so he grips onto the railing instead.
He feels tears streaming down his face, and he feels so horribly guilty.
How could he believe that Akito had left him? He should have been the one to figure out that he’d been taken. He should have known something was wrong.
He should have trusted his partner. Heard the wrongness in his voice.
Akito would never abandon him. That’s something he wouldn’t be able to do.
Some people long for a life that is simple and planned, tied with a ribbon. Some people won’t sail the sea because they’re safer on land, to follow what’s written.
But not Toya. He’d follow Akito to the great unknown. Off to a world they’d call their own.
But would Akito ever want to see him again? He… he kissed her. He went out on dates with her. And all the while, she had Akito locked away god knows where and was torturing him.
Akito deserves a better partner than one that would just go along with everything she did.
Finally, his energy fades. As long as he knows that Akito is safe, then he can rest. Maybe even die. Then Akito wouldn’t be held back by him anymore. He wouldn’t have to keep coming back and saving him when he can’t do so much as read some damn notes and figure out that Akito clearly couldn’t have done what she claimed he did.
Toya’s knees finally buckled under him, and the sweet release of darkness flew through his vision.
His grip on the bedside railing starts to fade as his body loses all feeling.
The din of the hospital vanishes from his ears, and the silence is deafening.
But eventually something pierces through the silence. A scream.
It’s… familiar. But he doesn’t have the energy to place it.
The last thing Toya knows before he falls unconscious is warm hands around him and that same voice screaming out his name.
~
Tsukasa shouldn’t have let him go. He should have forced him to go home and eat something and sleep.
So here he was, carrying an unconscious Toya to another hospital room to rest.
When he finally put Toya to bed, the doctors rushed over to him and checked him over.
“Excuse me, what’s your relationship to the patient?” One of the doctors asked.
“I’m his elder brother.” Tsukasa answered easily.
“I see. He’s clearly malnourished and exhausted, how did this happen?”
Tsukasa shook his head.
“A personal situation affected him deeply. It’s alright now, though. He’ll eat when he gets home.”
“If you’re sure. It’s not bad enough that we’ll have to force-feed him, but if he doesn’t start eating soon we may have to.”
“I understand. I’ll get him to eat when he wakes up.”
“Alright. Could you call your parents and tell them about the situation?”
“I will. Thank you for taking care of him.”
~
When Toya finally wakes up, he’s in a hospital bed hooked up to some kind of monitor and Tsukasa-nii’s sitting next to the bed.
“There you are. Good morning. I got you something to eat.” He whispers, holding a tray with some rice porridge on it. “I know the hospital food is horrible, but just have a bit for now.”
Toya started salivating at the smell of it. He doesn’t think he cares how it tastes, just that it’s food.
He didn’t know how fast he ate it, but suddenly the bowl was empty and he still wasn’t satisfied.
“Ha ha ha! You're hungry, aren’t you? Don’t worry, my love. I’ll make you something more to eat when we get home.” Tsukasa-nii chimes in, ruffling Toya’s hair.
“…Akito…?” Toya finally groaned out, and he winced at how hoarse his voice sounded now that he was actually listening to it.
“Don’t worry. He’ll be fine. I’ll take you to see him once he wakes up. I promise.”
“How did you…?”
“Rui tracked his phone. I… I’m sorry. I should have believed in him more.”
Toya shook his head.
“It’s fine. If I didn’t believe in him, how could you be expected to? I’m a horrible partner.”
“No. No, you’re not. The first thing Akito told us when we rescued him was that we needed to get her away from you. He loves you, Toya. And he’d hate me if I let you believe that.”
There’s… something else. Something that Tsukasa-nii isn’t telling him. But he won’t push.
“When can I leave?” Toya finally asks.
“The doctors said as soon as you woke up and ate something. So let’s go.” Tsukasa-nii says, holding a hand out.
Toya grabbed Tsukasa-nii’s hand, and he found himself being struck with an urge to see Akito.
“Can I-”
“I’m sorry, Toya.” Tsukasa-nii cuts him off, clearly knowing exactly what he was going to say. “No one can see Akito right now. They’re treating him. Let’s just go home.”
Toya feels a pang in his chest, but he knows there’s nothing he can do.
~
When Akito finally wakes up, he’s in a hospital bed and Kamishiro-senpai is sleeping in a chair next to him.
“What…?” He mutters, and Kamishiro-senpai snaps awake.
“Aki-kun, you’re up! Thank god, Toya-kun was losing his mind over not being able to see you.”
“T-Toya? No, don’t! Don’t bring him here, please!”
Kamishiro-senpai shakes his head.
“Aki-kun, please. The only reason he’s been eating and sleeping now is because we told him that you’d be worried if you saw him like that. He hadn’t done either in almost a week. He needs to see you.”
“I’m just going to hurt him more!”
“Keeping him away from you is what’s going to hurt him. The idea that you would come back is the only thing that kept him sane, Aki-kun. I saw it happen. I saw the way his heart shattered into a million pieces when you were coerced into making that phone call. He quite literally collapsed . So please don’t abandon him now.”
Akito’s heart jumped into his throat.
Toya was that upset?
God, he’s such a shitty partner. He’s really just thinking of his own feelings.
Kamishiro-senpai’s right he can’t stay away from Toya if it’s going to hurt him more, but also…
He needs advice.
“Senpai, do you have my phone?” Akito asks.
“Sure, here.”
Akito quickly checks, and it’s still charged. Good.
“C-can you give me some privacy, I—”
“If you want to talk to the Virtual Singers you can, I already know about it.”
“Oh. Okay.” Akito doesn’t have time to process that actually. “H-hey Miku, MEIKO? Can you guys hear me? I need to talk and I can’t come over.”
Miku ends up popping up first. “Akito! You’re okay! What happened? We were so worried!”
Akito winces. Right, no one must have told them.
“I was sorta kidnapped?” Akito explains and it is weird to say it outloud. He’s actually not sure what’s stranger to him, that he got kidnapped or that he survived to be explaining all this to Miku. “I’m in the hospital now though, so it’s fine!” Akito adds quickly after spotting the concerned look on Miku’s face.
“Good, glad to hear it. So what did you need to talk about?”
“Umm… so the girl who kidnapped me, Shimizu. She’s in love with Toya and decide to punish me for being such a bad partner to him.”
“Akito, it’s okay,” Miku says. “Like you said, you’re safe now.”
“But that’s the problem!” Akito blurts out. Even Kamishiro-senpai looks confused. “I’m a terrible partner! Everything I do hurts Toya! Even now! I should stay away from him, but if I do that he’s just going to go back to being practically catatonic which would be hurting him. But if I stay near him I’ll end up hurting him too just by being me! I punched him when I got mad! I left him alone when he was scared! For some reason he loves me and I knew but I was too much of a coward to set hard boundaries because I enjoyed being so close to him! I don’t deserve to be the person that can do this to Toya, but I am and I don’t know what to do.”
Every lash, burn, and cut is a reminder about how terrible a partner he is. Every second gasping for air while shoved into a dirty bucket is nothing compared to what he’s done to Toya. He’s not just a terrible partner, he’s a terrible friend.
“-kito! Akito!” Miku’s voice cuts through the haze and Akito realizes that Kamishiro-senpai and Miku are staring at him with horrified expressions.
“S-sorry,” Akito swallows. “I-I got off track, complaining about my own problems.” Akito laughs, but that doesn’t get Kamishiro-senpai and Miku to relax. “I don’t think I know how to be a good partner,” Akito admits. “I thought I did, but now I know I’ve just dug us both into a hole we can’t get out of. I—” Akito is cut off by Kamishiro-senpai grabbing his arm to keep him from absently picking at his stitches like he’d been about to.
“Aki-kun…” Kamishiro-senpai says.
“I know… Toya needs me. I should just focus on making him happy. But I don’t know how— I mean, what if I just hurt him again or something?”
Kamishiro-senpai shakes his head and sighs.
“I… alright. Aki-kun, just… give me a second.”
Kamishiro-senpai walks out of the room, muttering to himself.
~
Tsukasa tapped his foot as he listened to the recording of the conversation between Akito, Rui, and their Miku.
“Oh god.”
“My sentiments exactly, Tsukasa-kun.”
Toya walks up to them with a cup of coffee.
“Is Akito awake yet?” He asks.
“…No.” Rui lies easily. “No, he’s not. I’m sorry, Toya-kun.”
Toya looks at Rui suspiciously.
“I thought I just heard his voice.”
“It must have been something else.”
Toya’s eyes turn even more suspicious. When did he become so untrusting?
He turns to Tsukasa, and he wilts under Toya’s gaze.
“…He’s awake, but I don’t think you should see him yet.” Tsukasa mutters.
Toya looks stunned, while Rui shoots him a glare
“Why not?” Toya asks.
“I… I can’t explain. Please, just trust me.”
Toya still looks at him suspiciously, but he shakes his head.
“If I can’t trust you, who can I trust? I won’t go see him yet.”
~
Toya feels horrible about himself. He lied to Tsukasa-nii.
He’s gone out to get something to eat with Rui-senpai, and Toya’s sneaking around the hospital.
The worst part about it is that he can’t stop himself. He needs to see Akito. He needs his partner near him again.
So he sneaks through the halls again and returns to Akito’s room.
It’s not a big deal. He probably just thought that Toya couldn’t take it. He’s fine. He can handle anything right now. He just needs Akito.
It’s not a want. Want implies that he can go without. He can’t go without Akito’s voice and presence for another second.
They’re drawn like magnets. There’s nothing else to it.
~
Akito turns to the sound of the door opening, and…
Shit.
Toya appears.
Kamishiro-senpai is nowhere to be seen, and Tsukasa-senpai isn’t either. He must have snuck around them.
He should have known. His partner’s always been stubborn. That’s one of the things he loves about him.
“Akito!” Toya cries out, and he clasps Akito’s hands.
Akito sighs and puts on his best smile.
“Hey, partner.”
Toya’s eyes are watering, and Akito already feels like garbage.
“I missed you so much. My parents, they-”
“I know. I’m sorry. I should have been there.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t need anything else as long as you’re with me.”
Toya’s too damn nice.
“Akito, I need to tell you something!” Toya says. “I-I thought I lost you, and it broke me. And I don’t know if I’m going to get another chance to say this, so…”
Oh god. God no. Toya’s going to tell Akito that he loves him.
He can’t say no. That’ll make Toya so sad.
He loves Toya, but he can’t be as good of a boyfriend as he deserves.
So he’ll do it to make him happy. He’ll do everything to make him happy. He’ll never say no to Toya, he’ll give him everything he wants and-
“Wait!” A familiar voice cries out.
“Len?” Toya says, snapped away from his confession.
“Y-You can’t! Not right now!” Len chimes in, appearing from Toya’s phone.
“…What? Why not?” Akito asks.
Miku pops in next to him.
“Because you guys were already halfway codependent before all this. Right now, it wouldn’t be a healthy relationship and then everything would end up worse. Don’t do this right now, guys. Get some therapy first. You guys have to work on yourselves before you can help each other.”
Toya’s completely stunned. Like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“I… what…?”
Len speaks up again.
“Toya, Akito, you know that I think of you guys like my cool dads, right?”
“Y-Yes?”
“Then trust me when I say that this can’t happen right now. I want you guys to be happy, and you won’t be happy if you get together right now. You’re…”
While Len tries to speak, Miku turns to Akito, and she locks eyes with him. She knows. Of course she does.
She knows that his only concern is making Toya happy. She knows that he doesn’t care about himself as long as Toya has that pretty smile on his face.
And she knows that that’s wrong.
Eventually, after god knows how long, Toya pulls his hands away from Akito’s.
“They’re… they’re right. I love you, but I… we can’t. Not right now.”
“Okay. Whatever you want.”
Toya has a sad expression on his face, and no one that perfect should ever look like that.
He’ll work on himself. And he’ll become someone that deserves Toya.
Because he loves his partner. He’s totally selfish, has too many anger issues, and has made so many mistakes, but the one good thing he did was pick the most perfect partner in the world.