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The World’s Grumpiest Emo Puppy

Summary:

Cerberus Dabi gets summoned to Earth to look after a certain tiny child.
He is not supposed to adopt 2 and a 1/4 more along the way

Notes:

Hey. Wrote this instead of my silly Halloween fic, so I guess y'all can have that one next year lol. I don't have much to say today, I'll be back on Halloween with something that is (hopefully) spooky!
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy :)

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The first thing he remembers from when he arrived on earth was blinking his colorless eyes open and staring at the man that summoned him.

“Please,” the man with the pretty blue eyes had begged, “please look after my son.” He had nodded happily, little tail wagging, and shifted the color of his eyes to match the man’s, sealing their contract. He would stay on earth and protect the cute baby he was summoned to look after until the boy died of old age – old age, for he would not be letting anything happen to the little baby who was now his charge.

Then the man asked for his name. He remembers sticking his tongues out and barking the sounds that make up the name his mom gave him.

Obviously, the human man did not understand. Still doesn’t. It’s very annoying, but he’s trying his best to learn human talk so that he can tell them when they are being silly.

So instead, the man told him his new name was Touya – the name he and his wife wanted to give their first stillborn child. He likes that name. It’s special.

The man told him many more things: how this world works, how sometimes a baby can be born but still not make it, how their first three babies didn’t live. Why the man – Enji, he later told Touya – decided summoning a guardian for the fourth baby was worth the effort. Even knowing the cost of summoning one, he decided it was worth paying.

Touya never asked if Enji’s wife knew. If she agreed that paying with her life was worth it. He’s pretty sure he knows what the answer to that question is.

But there was a baby. A live one. With two brightly colored eyes and fat grubby paws that kept trying to grab onto any of Touya’s six ears. An annoying little guy, but precious. Adorable. The entire reason he’s here, guarding on Earth, rather than back in Hell waiting for something to do. The moment he met his small charge, Touya’s heart latched onto this case. He would do his very best to be the friend and protector the child needs.

And the baby, Shouto, didn’t take too long to grow. He was slow at first, but with Touya’s help he learned how to get from place to place on his hands and knees, then on his own little feet. Why humans insist on using two feet when four paws are so much more manageable is beyond him, but whatever. That’s their choice. Besides, Shouto figured it out quickly and didn’t grab Touya’s soft black fur too roughly when his little limbs gave out, so it’s not that big of a deal.

Enji wasn’t really around a whole lot while Shouto was learning to move, but that was ok. The man was busy doing stuff he said was necessary, and Touya certainly didn’t mind being the only one looking after the baby. It made him feel special. Important. Worthy of the task set before him.

Oh- and he grew too. Alongside Shouto. Whenever the boy was suddenly bigger than before, Touya would realize he was too. His heads a little wider, his chest a bit sturdier, his shoulders broader… growing at a rate that kept him able to help Shouto with whatever the boy needed. Big enough he could continue to carry Shouto around with the kid perched on his back and clinging to the ears of his central head for balance whenever the kid wanted.

So, yeah, Touya was pretty good at helping Shouto with most everything.

Most, for unfortunately, Touya couldn’t help with human speech. But the old lady Enji started bringing over did! For the little while she was around, anyway. Before things went wrong. After that she didn’t come back.

But she was great at helping a toddler version of Shouto look at the colorful papers and try to say things. Touya tried to say them too, but it was hard. Especially hard when your mouth is canine shaped, and you have three heads all trying to do it at the same time. Humans only have the one head with one tongue making sounds. Very tricky to try and do on his own, but Touya managed well enough and kept practicing so that small words and eventually phrases became doable. Better than most the cerberus back home could claim, anyway.

On top of that, Touya learnt how to shift into a vaguely human form so that he would stop getting people looking at him weird when they went outside to play – his is too patchy and uneven to be a good human replica, but it’s functional – so words got easier. So much easier given he only had one head (and yeah, that is weird. How do humans manage with only the one?? You can only see in one direction at once and your sense of smell is stifled dramatically. It’s jarring).

And Shouto kept getting bigger. He talked to Touya a lot, which was great, and liked to cuddle at nighttime. No matter how annoying it must have been for the boy, Shouto always let all of Touya’s three heads rest on his chest overnight. Shouto talked to him and scratched at his fluffy ears until the kid’s little voice fizzled out and he fell into dreams. Touya never slept. It was his job to stay awake and watch over his charge. No matter how appealing sleep is, his kind don’t need it.

Then one day Enji came home angrier than normal, and everything changed.

He dragged Shouto to The Room and kicked Touya in the stomach when he tried to follow. He whined at first, sad and hurt that the man who summoned him to Earth harmed him.

Then he heard Shouto’s screams and could smell burning flesh in the air.

Touya had torn his entire left side bloody throwing himself against the door of The Room in his fruitless efforts to get in and save his boy.

That night was the first time Shouto cried himself to sleep once Enji finally let him leave what the man called training.

The next time Enji came home smelling of that anger, Touya immediately ran over and bit him. All three sets of jaws snapping down into flesh, tearing until the man bled. Enji set him on fire and tossed him into the wall for that, then dragged Shouto into The Room anyway.

Still, Touya kept trying. For the next years, on those days Enji came home smelling that way, Touya did his best to stop the man. It got easier as Shouto grew and he did too, but he only managed to stop the man once. Yesterday. Yesterday he was finally big enough to knock the man over and sit on his chest, ignoring the painful way his fur burnt under angry red flames until Enji tired out and the anger faded from his scent.

Guess that explains why he’s being kicked out now, huh?

Touya snarls at the hand holding him by the scruff, unclawed stupid human-ish hands swiping uselessly at Enji. The man tricked him by asking nicely if he would shift into the human guise he’s been practicing and offering to give pointers.

Then he’d clamped a ring of metal around Touya’s throat, and the cerberus realized he couldn’t go back to normal anymore.

That, knowing that a human took advantage of his loyalty and trust to trap him in this pathetic form, has him growling angrily from the deepest part of his heart.

“Shut up, mutt,” Enji grumbles, the massive hand holding him giving a rough shake. It’s probably supposed to be a warning, but Touya doesn’t particularly care for those.

“Down!” He snarls, the stupid round human nails tipping his fingers driving into the man’s cheek and hardly leaving a scratch. No wonder humans need guardians; their defenses are pathetically weak. “Me down!” He does his best to squirm around – it’s harder to do that in human resemblance too. More rigid bones, less limbs, and the limbs he has just flop around like useless noodles – and gets slammed into the wall for his efforts. He stops, his tiny, one-head-only field of vision spinning.

“Father?” Shouto’s voice is a tiny, scared thing. It makes Touya want to wriggle free and curl around the boy, protecting him from everything.

But when he goes to move, it doesn’t work.

Huh. Maybe that has something to do with the fresh blood he can smell.

“Go to your room, Shouto.” Since he’s nine and more than old enough to know he doesn’t like listening to his father, Shouto nervously shuffles closer. “This does not concern you. I am merely taking care of something I should have a long time ago.” That sparks something in the boy’s eyes.

“No!” Shouto gasps, scampering around the pair of them to block Enji’s way to the door. “No, Father please! Don’t take Touya away! I need him!”

Touya weakly snarls his fury as the man backhands his charge, sending Shouto slamming into a wall and crumpling to the ground, his cold right hand pressing against his red cheek as he glares at his father with watery eyes.

And just like all the times he was unable to do anything to stop Enji from pulling Shouto into The Room, he’s unable to stop it as he himself is carried from the house and tossed into the middle of a cold grey path. How humiliating. He’s supposed to be a cerberus, a protector, not some weakling that lets human throw him around. It doesn’t matter that he’s not full grown yet, he should be able to do it just fine.

Guess the others back home were right whenever they called him the pathetic runt of the litter.

“Don’t bother coming back-” Enji’s words are cut off by a loud sound, something blaring and annoying, and when Touya turns his head to look, all he sees is bright yellow.

Then something slams into his side harder than any of the times Enji kicked or hit him, and things go dark.

 

When Touya blinks awake, he immediately growls and snaps his eyes – only two of them, how annoying – shut again. It’s too bright. Too much white and lights. And even to his dull nose it reeks of sharp-scented chemicals.

“Oh, are you awake? Come on, little one, open your eyes for me.” The voice sounds nice, but why is she talking to him like he’s a child? His human guise is a little bigger than Shouto, and the ladies at the park always thought he was a couple years older. That would make him eleven or twelve in human years, which is plenty old enough. Back home, cerberus that are thirteen are considered old enough to find their life partners, so surely humans only a year younger are old enough to not be considered a child.

But she asked nicely enough, so Touya does his best to crack his eyes open. It’s still far too bright, but quickly enough soft human hands help him sit up, and now that he isn’t looking at the ceiling, it’s less bright.

He blinks slowly, taking in his environment. It’s loud, that’s for sure, with all kinds of annoying beeping noises, and weird wires poking into him. His lips curl back at the sight of those. Whatever they are, he wants them out.

The lady yelps as he grabs hold of the first one – the one in the back of his hand – and rips it out. It hurts a bit, but not bad. It’ll go away soon anyway.

“No! No, sweetheart, leave those alone, ok? They’re there to help you, I promise.” The lady tries to grab the little metal bit from Touya’s hand, so he crushes it in his fingers.

“No.” He snaps firmly with the first word he learnt. An important one, given how much Shouto liked to pull at his tail too hard before he learnt how to tell the boy to be gentle with his poor limbs.

“Boy-” the nice lady pauses, taking a long breath. When she goes to talk again, her blood smells cooler. “I’m trying to help you, sweetie. But I can’t do that if you don’t want help. You were really hurt when they brought you in, and even if your quirk helps you heal quickly, we need to make sure everything is ok.”

“Me fine.” Touya snaps, grabbing onto the other wires stuck to his bare chest – jeez that’s cold. How do humans manage without fur?! – and yanking them off. But really, he is fine. He can’t die on Earth while he has a charge to protect. That’s just how it works. No matter how much damage and pain he takes on this plane he’ll be fine.

If that wasn’t how it worked, then he’d be dead years ago by now. Enji hits hard.

In any case, it’s time to get out of here and go back to Shouto-

Wait.

“This.” Touya points to the metal ring Enji clamped around his neck that’s stopping him from turning back to his regular form. “Off. Please?” The lady’s face twists into something sad and Touya glares at her. He doesn’t need her pity.

“I’m really sorry, sweetheart, but we tried to take it off and couldn’t. Tomorrow-” Nope. He won’t be sticking around that long. However long he’s been away from Shouto’s side is too long already.

“Bye.”

The nice lady shrieks as Touya swings himself off the bed and hops to the floor. His limbs, what with there only being two of them, are wobbly and weird to walk on, but since he taught Shouto how to do it he knows enough to manage.

He makes it all the way across the room, out the door, and a fair bit down the hall before big hands grab him under the armpits and lift him into the air.

“Woah there, little guy. Where are you off to in such hurry-” the man holding him barks out a sharp couple syllables Touya doesn’t know as he uses his dull human claws to scratch at the man’s face as best he can. Seeing as he manages to draw blood this time, Touya is promptly released.

Good to know. Eyes are a good place to scratch with claws as dull as these.

With that man out of the way, Touya makes it to the window, props the glass open, and slips through it before anyone else enters the hall. His ankle breaks upon his landing, but it’s fine. Broken bones always heal quickly. This won’t be enough to stop him from moving.

Limping through a crowd of humans in his poor human form without Shouto at his side is a new experience and not one he is inclined to repeat. Humans stare. A lot. It’s almost like they’ve never seen a cerberus in human form before, or if they have then it must be an adult who’s got a good human disguise. Touya’s has weird patchy purple skin in places. He can’t get it to go away no matter what he tries.

Thankfully it doesn’t take him too long to get back to the right house. The sky is only beginning to go dark.

But, when he goes to open the door, it doesn’t open.

And when he looks in all the windows, there are no lights on.

Shouto’s window, which the boy always leaves open since he likes to hear the wind at nighttime, is closed.

Dread pools in Touya’s gut as he sits on the front step and settles in to wait.

Surely it can’t take too long for Enji to get here and come inside. Touya will forgive the man for getting angry if he lets Touya back in. He’s always forgiven Enji, no matter what, since he’s pathetically weak and needs the human’s permission to stay with his child.

 

Touya might not need to eat or sleep, but he does get cold. In general, Hell is warmer than Earth. And usually Earth is fine since he has his thick black fur to keep him warm.

But stranded in human form like this? Touya is too aware of the passing hours and cold nights as he waits for Enji and his precious Shouto.

He can’t count the hours and days, just knows that they get colder and colder. Cold enough that white – snow, he remembers that word – starts to fall from the sky and coat the ground. For a while the little snow specks sink into the grass and disappear, but one day they stay.

It’s on that day, the day that the grass stays white, that a blue-haired boy wanders up to him and sits on the step next to him.

“Hi,” the new boy mumbles, “I’m Tomura. I got a new Pokémon card, you wanna see?”

“Go.” Touya grumbles. The word comes out shaky and weak. He’s really, really cold.

“Oh. Sorry. I guess I just thought you were lonely too. Sensei doesn’t let me keep the friends I find for very long, so I don’t have many people to talk to. And since you’ve been sitting out here for a long time, I figured you might like to talk to someone too.” Touya flicks his eyes to the side to take a better look at the boy: his blue hair is long and floppy, but behind that are red eyes that look sad. Like Shouto’s after any amount of time in The Room.

Actually, this boy can’t be too much older than Shouto. He’s thin and his limbs are tiny. Plus he hasn’t stared at Touya for the weird purple he can’t get to go away – though maybe that has something to do with the fact that the boy has lots of weird patches too. Like his skin is too dry and crumbles off.

“You talk.” Touya decides, nodding. “I wait here.”

“You’re waiting here? Why? I’ve seen you here for the past couple days and whoever used to live here hasn’t come back. I think they left.”

Touya shakes his head stubbornly. “I wait. Protect Shouto.”

“Is that your friend?” The blue haired boy sounds curious. “Or a brother? I used to have a sister, but she was a little mean and now she’s gone. Is your brother gone?”

That ignites a fury in his veins. “No.” Touya growls, the sound weak and not as terrifying as it should be given the stupid human fangs don’t make sounds like that as well. “Not gone. I protect.”

“Ok, sorry.” The boy pauses, then nods to himself. “Hey, want to come with me? Sensei is really smart and knows lots of people, so maybe he can find your brother? Um, I don’t remember if I said, but I’m Tomura.” Red eyes hopefully peek out from too-long hair. Well, Tomura does seem lonely, and maybe if he’s nice then when Touya finds Shouto, the two humans can be friends. Shouto needs friends, he’s a nice person and should have more children to play games with.

“Ok.”

Tomura smiles at him. It’s a strange smile, like the boy isn’t sure if he’s doing it quite right, but it’s not a mean smile.

The boy stands and hops down from the step, and for the first time in however long it’s been, Touya moves too.

 

“-and this one is my Eevee, oh! And this one here is my new card, my Bellsprout! Aren’t they super cute? And this one-” Touya is more than a little happy when a door clacks in the room they entered from a while ago, finally stopping the blue-haired boy’s ramblings. The shiny colorful rectangles are cool to look at, but Touya isn’t sure why the human boy is so excited over them. They don’t seem that special to Touya. Maybe it’s a human thing.

Tomura’s eyes are bright as his head snaps towards the door of his room.

“Sensei! I made a new friend!” Touya’s ears aren’t nearly as good as they are in his regular form, but even these ones can pick out the long sigh that comment earns.

The door cracks open, and a man enters.

Touya leaps to his feet, plants himself between Tomura and the man, and growls.

This scent… he’s never smelt it before, but it’s awful. Worse than Enji when he’s mad and hurts Shouto. Whoever this is, Touya knows they are not as nice to this human boy as he deserves.

“Boy, get rid of it. I don’t like this one.” The man’s voice is smooth and nasty, like the hellsnakes back home. They used to tease Touya by pretending to bite him, and one did once. They thought it was funny until he ate them. After that, the hellsnakes stopped playing that game and left him alone.

So, obviously, the solution here is to eat the man. Then he’ll leave Touya and the nice boy alone.

He bares his human-blunt teeth and growls again, this time deeper. A warning.

“Tomura,” the man sighs, like he’s bored and disgusted, “get rid of this… street filth. I’ve told you to stop bringing rubble home.”

“But he’s my friend-”

“YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS!” The man roars, lip curling into an angry look. “You, Tomura, are my symbol of evil. Evil does. Not. Have. Friends.”

“But he’s nice.” Touya peeks over his shoulder and finds the blue-haired boy has wrapped his arms around his stomach. He’s trembling.

Maybe it’s because he can’t protect Shouto right now, maybe Touya is just looking for something to do to feel better about himself, but whatever the reason, there is no choice here.

He’s going to kill the mean adult and be this little boy’s friend. At least until they find Shouto. Then Shouto will be the boy’s friend, and both the humans he likes will be happy.

Touya leaps at the mean white-haired man, snapping his jaws and swiping with his flimsy human claws.

The man laughs, a hand grabs Touya’s throat, and he dies.

“Ow,” Touya mumbles as his crushed throat rushes to heal so he can breathe again. He’s lying on the floor, and when he blinks his eyes open, both the human boy and man are watching him curiously.

“So, Sensei. Can I keep him?”

 

“Stupid idea.”

“Dabi!” Tomura scowls at him. “It’s a great idea!” The human throws down his white board marker in exasperation. “What part didn’t you get?”

“Why it’s good.” Touya’s lips quirk up as his friend – still his friend for even after these long, long years he hasn’t found Shouto and Enji – shrieks. At least the time hasn’t been lonely. Tomura helps him search every night, and ever since All for One brought Kurogiri over, they can explore new areas and cover more ground.

And sure, he’s died a couple times in the last eight years, but who hasn’t? It doesn’t hurt that much, and Tomura keeps getting into situations where he’s going to get himself killed, so it just makes sense. Protect the weak human. If he practices now, then when they do find Shouto Touya will be much better at it.

Well, that and the fact that he’s much bigger now. They might not have figured out how to get rid of the stupid metal collar locking away his true form, but his human one is bigger so surely as a cerberus he is big now too. Hopefully. Unless he’s one of those that are cursed to forever be tiny. But as a human he’s tall, if a little skinny. And still purple in places, though he has managed to get rid of some of the purple over the years. In any case, he’s taller than Tomura, something that never ceases to annoy his friend.

…Who he should be listening too since the latest Evil Diabolical Plan is especially stupid. They can’t just start attacking kids! Tomura doesn’t even want to do that, that’s just what stupid All for One suggested. Well, if that awful man wants to attack kids, he should do it himself.

“I not helping.”

“WHAT?!” Tomura shrieks. The whiteboard disappears as his friend accidentally places his whole hand on it. Neither of them bother to watch as it crumbles to the ground in fine dust. “What do you mean you aren’t going to help? You always help! I don’t wanna do evil stuff without you! It’s not as fun.” Tomura pouts at him, but Touya firmly shakes his head.

“Not kids.”

“Dabi!” Tomura whines, “why won’t you just kidnap and or kill a couple kids with me?! It’ll be fun, I promise! And Sensei said-” Touya growls, and his friend stops talking. Tomura sighs. “Yeah, I know you, big grump. You don’t like him, he keeps killing you whenever the two of you are in the same room, but come on! Maybe if you do this then he’ll-”

“No.” Touya snaps. “Not how it works.” This is why he hasn’t managed to convince Tomura to escape that awful man yet. No matter what happens, Tomura keeps thinking that if he can do this one more thing, than that will make All for One like him. That’s… just not how it works. No matter how far Tomura goes, All for One is going to ask for more. And Tomura is going to kill himself trying to do whatever that next step is.

Maybe this will be an eye-opener.

 

“What.”

“Meet my League of Villains!” Tomura cheers, dragging him into the scraggly bar by the hand. His skin is well used to Tomura’s quirk by now, so the layers flaking off and regenerating do so quickly. “This is Spinner, that’s Mr. Compress, that one is Magne, over there in the corner are Mustard and Twice, Moonfish and Muscular are here on temporary loan, and you already know Kurogiri. Oh, and the annoying girl about to stab you is Toga.”

Touya isn’t quick enough to dodge the blade that jabs into his side, quickly hitting something that makes him wince. An organ? Probably.

“Hi there! You wanna be friends?! If we’re friends, you can call me Himiko! What’s your name?”

Touya glowers at her as he presses a hand to his side to stop from bleeding on the floor, his skin and insides stitching themselves together. “Dabi.” No one gets to know his special name. That one is for Shouto, and until he finds his charge, he doesn’t want other people to know it.

“Don’t stab Dabi, Toga.” Tomura warns in his best leader voice – the one he spent hours practicing in front of the mirror once he turned fifteen and decided he was going to have a gang of followers someday. “He’s my best friend so no stabbing. And no making fun of him if he doesn’t talk very much, he’s just like that.”

“He’s cute!” And now the girl is latching onto his arm like some kind of leech. He flashes his teeth at her and growls, but that does the opposite: rather than deter her, the teen grins and flashes fangs of her own. “I’m single, by the way.”

Touya stares at her. “You’re… small.” Then he frowns. That’s not right. He looks to Tomura, who is doing his creepy smile and obviously trying not to laugh. “What word?”

“I think small works- ow!” The girl, Toga, kicks Tomura’s shin. Ah yes, his weak point. Smart girl. “Fine, you little hellion! Young is the word you want. Which is true, so back off my friend, Toga! You’re too young for him!”

“Age is just a construct, love is timeless!”

“Shut up, that’s stupid!”

“You’re stupid!”

“I HATE YOU!”

“WELL I-”

“Children,” Kurogiri sighs. They both immediately fall silent. “Please. It is far too early to be arguing.” Yellow eyes flick his way. “Dabi, are you going out tonight?” He nods. Of course he is. He’ll keep looking until he can’t anymore. “Perhaps it would be prudent to bring Toga along?”

“Hey!” Tomura protests. “That’s our thing! Toga isn’t allowed to come!” Kurogiri raises the mist equivalent of an eyebrow.

 

“So,” the teenage girl drawls from where she’s slinking along behind them. “Where are we going? Why are you two being so secretive about it? We’re villain teammates now, so share the juicy gossip!”

Well, maybe if it gets her to be quiet; Touya can’t listen for Shouto’s heartbeat with her shrieking like that.

“Lost Shouto, so we find him.” For a few moments, Touya gets his blissful silence.

“Oh my God. That’s like, the most words I’ve heard you say! Ooh, and who’s Shouto? Your boyfriend? A long-lost lover? A-”

“His little brother, stupid vampire.” Tomura kicks a rock, arms still crossed over his chest as he pouts at the ground. Oh no, not this again. Touya sighs, rolls his eyes, and reaches over to flick Tomura’s forehead. “What? I’m not doing anything wrong! She’s the one ruining things by being here!” Toga’s scent wilts at the words. Ugh, no. He’s already attached to one human too many, there is no need to throw yet another extra one into the mix.

“Whatever,” Toga sniffles angrily. “I guess I should’ve known you were just gonna be mean and awful like everyone else! No one likes me for me and I-” The teenager’s words fizzle out as Touya turns and wraps her into a soft hug. She’s so shocked, he doesn’t even get stabbed. “What are you… Why?” Tiny hands curl into the nice black jacket Tomura stole for him that Touya might like a little too much. Tiny, like Shouto. Like little humans that need protection.

“I like you.” It’s only a few words, but that seems to be enough. The girl clings extra tight to him and starts bawling.

“…I guess you’re fine. Dabi is still MY best friend though. Just to make that clear.” Tomura awkwardly pats her hair with four fingers.

They don’t make much progress in terms of searching for Shouto, but something tells him that tonight that’s ok. Besides, when they do find him, his charge will now get two new friends.

 

“No.”

“But Dabi!” Tomura whines, pouting to the best of his ability. “Come on! It’ll be a fun time!”

“No,” he repeats. Honestly, this last week has been the most he’s needed to use that word since he first learnt it. “No kids. Bad plan. Stupid.”

Tomura groans, sinking low into his seat, head tilting back to glare at the roof. “I hate you right now.” Touya nods. That’s fair. “And I can’t just not do this, Sensei already gave me the nomu I’m allowed to use for this plan! And forced our spy to sneak us information on the whereabouts!” Touya stays silent as Tomura sighs. Maybe this time will be it. Maybe now he’ll be deterred enough to realize-

“Alright, well if you won’t lead my party then I guess I’ll just have to go and do it myself.”

Dammit.

 

“-and that wraps up the plan. Any questions… wait a minute, where’d that big guy go? Muscular?” Touya sighs as Tomura immediately turns to him. No. Nope, he’s leaning on a tree, not helping. Tomura knows this. “Dabi, please? Which way? Telling me is like barely assisting at all, promise.”

“Yeah, come on Dabi! If you’re going to be all grumpy over there you can just point! No words needed!” Himiko grins at him too – she is far too excited to be about to ambush kids her age – and Touya sighs. They’ve learnt too fast that ganging up on him works.

Reluctantly, he points towards the mountain.

“Eh,” Tomura shrugs. “He’s… probably fine over that way. I don’t like him very much anyway.” There’s a long pause of silence where the other criminals Tomura somehow roped into this stupid plan fidget, waiting for orders.

Maybe he’s going to realize this is stupid and back out?

“Alright, Vanguard Action Squad, move out!”

No, no he was not. Touya sighs, yeah guess that really is too much to hope for.

Well, whatever.

He’ll wait here by the tree and make sure Tomura and Himiko don’t die. That’s the reason he came, and certain death for the two humans he cares for is the only thing that will draw him away from this tree.

Except that standing here is kind of boring.

And at least that other guy, Twice, is waiting at the exit location place.

Eh, it can’t hurt to go over there and stand next to one of those trees, right? At least then he’ll be standing with someone else and will be closer when Tomura does something extra stupid.

Touya moves leisurely, flicking at tree leaves and poking at the weird sticks. This whole thing should take a while, right? There were a lot of kids here and only so many in Tomura’s group, so-

He freezes as a particular scent floods his nostrils, catching his entire attention. That scent, that blood, he knows it all too well. If not for the circumstances, Touya would grin.

Now sprinting, he covers ground quickly, though his feet do seem to be carrying him towards that end location Twice is at anyway. Curious how that works. In any case, he wastes no time loitering at the edge of the scene and leaps over the shiny kid hiding behind the bush, a protective and slightly angry growl rumbling in his chest.

“Hey!” Tomura protests, pointing at him accusingly, “you said you were going to wait by the tree!”

But he pays his friend no mind, not when there’s a towering green monster waving blades around, right next to Shouto. Who is bleeding. And standing next to his own friends, trying to protect them.

The monster swipes a blade towards the injured green-haired boy, and Shouto steps in its path, eyes squeezing shut as he waits for it to hit.

Well, come on.

Like Touya is going to let that happen.

The swirling blade strikes at his back and rips through to bone easily, but he refuses to let his shaking knees drop him. Falling now means one of the other blades will hit Shouto, so it doesn’t matter how much it hurts or how blurry his vision gets, he grits his teeth, snarls, and holds firm.

“Wha- Dabi! What are you doing?! Nomu, get away from him right now!” Oh, that’s good. Thank you, Tomura.

Now that the monster has moved away and the blades aren’t whirling about anymore, he lets himself collapse to the ground.

“Um. What’s happening right now?” Touya opens his mouth to explain things to his friend, but only blood comes out. Damn. “Wait a minute. You. Kid with the weird hair.”

“…Me?” That’s Shouto’s voice. It’s a little deeper and less emotive than before, but that’s him.

“Yes you. What’s your name?”

“Todoroki.”

“No,” Tomura sighs, “the other one!”

“Oh. It’s Shouto.”

Tomura shrieks angrily for a few long moments before forming real words. “NO! THIS IS NOT FAIR! Arg, fine! Kurogiri, get everyone out. I guess we aren’t allowed to attack these kids anymore.” Oh, good. Touya sighs, a tension he didn’t know was in his muscles relaxing. He won’t have to choose. That’s nice.

“Wait, just like that you’re leaving?” Touya doesn’t know this voice, but it sounds squeaky. Like a baby mouse. He kind of hates it. “Why?”

“Well yeah.” Touya’s eyes are still closed as he focuses on healing himself, but he can practically see Tomura’s eyeroll. “I can’t attack my best friend’s little brother. That’s just rude. So yeah, I guess you’re off the hook or whatever.” A long pause follows Tomura’s words – long enough that Touya decides he’s good and sits up. One of the kids scream.

He blinks a couple times, getting used to everything again, then focuses in on Shouto. His charge is staring at him, a little confused, a little hopeful, but mostly… sad? Wait.

“Why crying?” Touya forces out in a hoarse whisper, frowning. “Hurt?” That won’t do. He’ll have to get Kurogiri to portal them to a hospital if that is the case-

“Touya?” Shouto whispers. His little hands are shaking. “Is it- are you real?” An odd question, but he still nods.

“’Touya?’” Tomura grumbles, kicking at a big rock. “What kind of stupid name is that? Dabi sounds way cooler, just saying.” He takes a moment to glare at Tomura, but quickly gives Shouto his attention.

“Hurt?” He asks again, nostrils flaring as he sniffs and wobbly climbs to his feet. That’s definitely blood, but how bad is it? It’s hard to tell given the green-haired kid’s blood is the more prominent scent in the area.

But Shouto just keeps standing there, crying. Touya frowns, then reaches over and pokes the kid’s cheek. Shouto flinches, jumping as if he wasn’t paying attention, then arms are clinging to him and Shouto is crying into his shirt. Oh, well this is a little better at least. He hums, gently closing his arms around his charge in a silent promise of safety.

“Um, Todoroki, why are you hugging a villain?”

“Midoriya, this is Touya. The one I told you about at the Sports Festival.”

“Oh,” the very injured kid is nodding along. “Right. The brother your dad threw in front of a bus.” Then his bloody forehead wrinkles. “Wait a minute. If he was killed by a bus, how’s he here?”

Touya figures the question is for him, so he shrugs, continuing to hug Shouto for as long as the boy wants. “No die.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Tomura adds on. “I’ve accidentally dusted him a few times and he’s obviously still alive.”

“Wait.” Shouto pulls away, and Touya reluctantly lets go. “You’re friends with Shigaraki? He’s tried to kill us.”

“Tomura,” Touya corrects. “He stop now. And helped me look for you.” Apparently his words steer all the kids towards looking at Tomura, who immediately flounders under the attention.

“I- Well how else was I going to get my steps in?! I’ve gotten so many Pokémon Go candies thanks to you, so ha. It was for the game, not you. Totally evil and all that. No good acts of kindness or helpfulness at all.”

Touya huffs. Yeah right. “Nursing home, sixteen.”

“NO!” Tomura screeches, pointing an accusatory finger back at Touya. “No, you promised to never mention my sins!” Touya’s lips quirk up. They spent the week All for One was gone baking sweets with Kurogiri and bringing them to the nearest nursing home. Even Tomura can’t admit that was villainous.

There’s a shift in the air next to him, so he catches the blade Himiko threw. The sharp end cuts into his palm, so she grins when he hands it back.

“No stab,” Touya promptly informs her. “Shouto.”

“What?!” The teenager gasps. “Oh really? Hi! I’m Toga, we’re basically already besties so just call me Himiko. I’m your brother’s best friend!” Oh great.

“No!” Tomura protests. “No, you’ve only known him for like… two months! Or something. I don’t remember. But he’s been my friend longer so obviously I’m his best friend!”

Well, judging by the glint in Himiko’s eyes, this is going to last a while.

Touya turns to the injured green-haired kid. “Want me to carry?”

The kid pales and quickly shakes his head.

“Wait,” Shouto pipes in again. “Can you do the thing?” Touya blinks. “Like your dog quirk thing. I don’t wanna walk back either.” Oh…

“No,” he grumbles. “Stuck.” Touya points to the chunk of metal stuck around his throat.

“Oh,” Shouto smiles softly. “Those. Yeah, I can get it off. Father tried to use that sort of lock on my door a few years ago, but they’re easy to open; they’re DNA coded, so you just need blood. Here.” Shouto extends his arm, revealing the bleeding cut on his forearm, and dips his finger in it. A tap later and the stupid metal collar falls away.

Touya gasps, skin shuddering as he finally gets to drop his human guise and be himself again.

The first thing he notices is that the children are screaming again. The second is that his heads are way further from the ground than they used to be.

Touya drags his tongues across his teeth – his delightfully sharp canines that are very ready to eat people he promised he’d one day get rid of.

But first: Touya crouches down as best he can and Shouto is quick to clamber on, setting right behind Touya’s center head like he did as a kid.

“Here, Shoji, pass me Midoriya. The both of us will fit. Touya, you got really big.” He growls proudly at the praise, tail lashing (bowling a tree over, whoops) happily.

Once the injured kid is secured in Shouto’s arms, Touya begins the trial of walking through the forest in the direction he can smell the most humans. It’s a little tricky to walk now, given that his center of gravity is lower, he has four paws again, and his outer heads keep smacking into trees. But Shouto’s friends giggle every time he gets his muzzle stuck in a new bunch of greenery, so that’s ok.

He makes it a few steps before realizing Tomura and Himiko are not following. Well, that’s not right. He turns his left head and growls questioningly at them.

“Wha- no! No, I’m not coming!” Tomura protests. “Those are the heroes, stupid! I can’t just show up there!”

“Yeah!” Himiko agrees, nodding along. “That would be crazy!”

Too bad.

 

The heroes are certainly shocked when he exits the forest and pads over to the main group of them, but that could be for many reasons: that he, a now full-grown cerberus is there, that Shouto and his friend are resting on his back, or that he’s got Tomura and Himiko held in his left and right heads respectively by the back of their shirts. Tomura is pouting and Himiko is back to trying to stab him in the eye, but it’s fine. One eye doesn’t matter that much when he’s got six of them to work with.

“Mr. Aizawa,” Shouto calls over, “as Mina has been teaching me, this is my ‘emotional support brother’. These are his friends. Please don’t arrest any of them.”

The man who is presumably their teacher blinks long and slow, like a sleepy cat. Hmm, maybe they can hurry things up? Touya roughly shakes Tomura, making his friend squawk.

“Wait! No, don’t eat me, Dabi! Please!” He huffs. He’s not going to eat his friend, that’s stupid. “Put me down! I won’t even run away, ok?! Just don’t eat me!” He shakes Tomura one last time before dropping him and Himiko to the grassy floor. Himiko pops up to her feet and waves to the kids her age, but Tomura curls into a ball and doesn’t move. He noses his friend’s shoulder, but Tomura doesn’t move. Oh great, it’s going to be one of these moments.

Sighing, Shouto gently bumps his shoulder, prompting Shouto to climb off with his friend. Once they’re clear he shifts back to his human form to kneel next to Tomura and poke his cheek.

“What wrong?” He is very aware a lot of people are staring at him, but that’s not new. His purple splotches always do that.

“Sensei is gonna be so mad.” Tomura whispers. “I failed this time too. I- I can’t do anything right.”

“I eat him?”

“What?” Tomura gives a shaky laugh that is more a sob than anything. “You can’t eat him! He always kills you when you try.” Touya just waits. “But I mean, if you wanna try… I guess you can do your weird big dog thing that I didn’t even know about now.” He gets a little look for that but it’s fine. Tomura will forgive him.

He stands, nodding to himself. Yes, today is the night he finally gets rid of that awful man. And well. Maybe he ought to do both in one go.

Touya tilts his gaze to Shouto and closes his mouth. No, if the kid wants to do the law-abiding thing, then Touya had best not ask permission.

But he certainly is feasting tonight.

 

“Touya!” Shouto complains, “what are you doing? That robber almost- oh.” Touya blinks innocently, and the six children climbing on his limbs and tugging at his soft fur cheer at the sight of the well-known hero. “Well, what about-” He flicks his tail towards the bakery, where Tomura and Himiko are fighting over who gets to order the latest round of coffee for the hero agency since the guy working there is hot.

“It fine,” he barks roughly. It is still ridiculously hard to use human speech in his regular form, but he’s getting better at it – especially the word ‘no.’ That is needed a lot when helping his three humans work a dangerous job where they do stupid things that risk their lives often.

It is kind of fun though.

All three of them are happy and alive, two very annoying father figures mysteriously disappeared four years ago and have yet to be found, and Touya gets to help Shouto do what he loves. Even if that means wearing the stupid white and red scarf and letting kids use him as a fluffy playground.

“Hey, Shouto, want to get lunch-?” Touya snaps his left head towards the nuisance and growls, showing off his teeth. The green-haired kid, Midoriya, freezes, just like every time Touya growls at him. One of these days the boy won’t be afraid, and that’s the day Touya is going to eat him.

Sure, there’s nothing wrong, per say, with Midoriya, but. Well. Shouto is Touya’s to protect, and he’s not sure sharing that with Midoriya is ok just yet.

“Yeah sure, I’d love to get lunch, Izuku.” Touya growls at Shouto too but is ignored. “No Touya, I’m fine. Why don’t you go stop Tomura and Himiko from destroying that café and meet me back home?”

He really, really wants to say no, but relents. Just this time.

He stalks off, shooting Midoriya a warning glare full of three mouthfuls of sharp teeth, and delights in the way the hero gulps and pales. Good, Touya’s lips quirk up as much as they can. He should be afraid. Touya may have made a habit of eating people that hurt Shouto, so Midoriya is threading a careful line, and Touya is awful eager for him to fall off that slope.

 

…Expect three years later they still haven’t kicked Midoriya out of the picture. Heck, the boy moved in with them two years ago and Touya still can’t find a good reason to eat him.

“Um, excuse me, Mr. Touya…” He growls on instinct, but it’s half-hearted. It’s morning and he’s lying in a warm patch of sunlight streaming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows. “Well, I was just thinking. See I. Um.” Touya cracks an eye open and waits for Midoriya to finish talking. “Well, I just. I want to ask Shouto to marry me, and I figured I should check in with you first.”

Huh.

Wait.

His other five eyes fly open and he jolts upright, nearly smacking his head on the ceiling, heart hammering. Marriage?! Isn’t Shouto too young for that…? What age do humans marry at again? Well, whatever the case, surely Shouto is too young.

He opens his mouth, then hesitates. Ugh, Shouto likes Midoriya and surely this would make him happy…

Sighing, Touya flops to the ground in defeat.

“Fine,” he grumbles. He can always eat Midoriya later, if need be.