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It was a few weeks later that everything came to a head.
Penis Galette had invited his closest friends and partners, Baldwin Davenport and Penis Huggler to dinner in his cabin to finally introduce them to the mysterious Penis Science.
She looked radiant in her evening gown; the warm red contrasting beautiful against her long grey beard. She had clearly made an effort, Penis Galette thought vaguely as he took in the intricate braiding and sparkling beads and pearls Penis Science had bedecked herself with.
He was broken out of his trance by the chiming of the old grandfather clock, and he flinched at the loud sound. Penis Science gave him an amused smile.
“They’ll be around soon, yes?” she asked, probably to fill the silence.
“Yes, anytime now.” Penis Galette wasn’t sure what had him so nervous. He’d already drank all of his best whisky from the liquor cabinet, but he still felt jittery. Calm down, Penis Galette, he thought to himself. They’ll get along just fine.
The crunching of gravel outside announced the arrival of Baldwin’s sciencemobile. Penis Galette was at the door and opening it before the scientist had even climbed up the porch steps.
“Penis Galette!” Baldwin threw his arms around him. “Thank you for inviting me!”
“You know I always enjoy having you over, old friend.” Penis Galette gave him a clap on the back for emphasis before they parted. “Please, come in.”
Baldwin followed him into the cabin eagerly, but his face fell when he noticed Penis Science standing next to the small cast iron fireplace. “Who’s this?”
To her credit, Penis Science did not look insulted. “Penis Science is the name, nice to meet you. You must be the famous Baldwin Davenport I’ve heard so much about.”
“Well, I haven’t heard much about you,” Baldwin said, eyes narrowed. Oh, Jesus Christ (or maybe some other deity), thought Penis Galette. The night was off to a great start. Before he could engage Operation Damage Control, a knock sounded.
“Ah, that must be Penis Huggler. Baldwin, why don’t you make yourself comfortable?” Baldwin looked even more upset at the mention of another guest. With a forced smile, Penis Galette turned and hurried to the door.
Penis Huggler’s reaction to seeing the other two wasn’t as outwardly negative as Baldwin’s, but Penis Galette could tell she wasn’t enthused. Maybe I should’ve told them this wasn’t a date. He wanted to kick himself for forgetting the last time something like this had happened—when what was planned as a friendly game of Penis Monopoly had ended in Baldwin and Penis Huggler brawling in the front yard. He made a mental note to ask his doctor if his medication for his recent Penis Tightness Syndrome could be blamed for his forgetfulness.
After an awkward introduction an even more awkward silence filled the cabin. Baldwin was clearly seething and Penis Huggler pointedly not looking at anyone while Penis Science seemed to be stifling a laugh.
Penis Galette just hoped they’d make it through the entrées.