Archive of Our Own

“This is too beautiful, man,” Lohn murmured, leaning way back in his iron café chair, chin up, exposing his pale cheeks to the sun. He chewed his cinnamon bread, eyes shut in bliss. “Hmmm.” His cowboy hat started to slip from his head, so he jerked back upright, shaking his head at Redd in disbelief. “It’s jus’ as good as I remember.”

Redd turned his head and bit into his own lump of cinnamon bread, freshly torn from his still-hot loaf. He guarded the paper-wrapped bread with spread fingers, as if the birds would dare get close enough to the table to steal from him. “I told you this place would take your mind off things. Dolly Parton, she’s always got your back.”

“So’ve you,” Lohn pointed out, pulling another morsel from his own loaf.

Redd glanced at him, then glanced down to shrug. “Just want you to be happy.” There was cinnamon sugar in his beard.

Lohn gave a sheepish sideways grin, looking away with an eye-roll. “I must’ve looked pretty damn miserable, huh? I just... got in my own head about being all alone again.”

His fingers were glittery with crystallised sugar and cinnamon brown, so he licked them clean, while his bread melted in his cheek.

Lohn admired the view, looking well beyond the outdoor table that he and Redd sat at, with its green canvas umbrella flapping faintly in the humid breeze. He and Redd were seated outside Miss Lillian’s BBQ Corner, where they’d earlier indulged in a shared plate from the all-you-can-eat buffet. Of course, they’d left room in their bellies for the cinnamon bread.

Across the wide, paved courtyard and past a wrought-iron fence, there was a pond, its centre decorated with a V-shaped upward spray of water, ever-flowing, all its droplegs drifting leftwards as the air moved. The pond rippled, reflecting bright sparkles in the afternoon sun.

One of the best features that the Dollywood theme park had to offer was the Grist Mill & Cinnamon Bread. The cobblestone-and-wooden-slat building made a quaint backdrop to the pond, with its wall-mounted watermill always churning. The smell of butter and cinnamon carried: Lohn could smell it from here.

Over the morning, Lohn had felt some of his frustration lifting. Thanks to a background hubbub of happy children and screaming people on rollercoaster rides, familiar smells of fried treats and artisan foods, the colourful sights of 1950s and 1880s Old-West Americana, and the tree-lined, music-washed streets that wound between the worlds, he’d relaxed - enough that his legs spread wide where he sat now, with the sides of his boot soles resting on the pavers.

“Maybe I am a sight easier to look at, now,” Lohn admitted, although Redd hadn’t mentioned the difference. “Feels like a few of my emotional stormclouds have dissipated.”

Redd grunted an affirmation, sucking sugar off his own thumb. “Told you. Dollywood’s the perfect escape. No divorce, no alimony, no worrying about where you’re meant to live, come Monday. Just good food, a few thrill rides... easygoin’ company.”

“‘Course, then you have to go and remind me about all that,” Lohn murmured.

Redd puffed out a breath. “Listen: don’t think.” He fluttered a hand at Lohn’s bread. “Eat. Nothin’ else matters today, except you having a good time, doing what you want, and enjoying your life.”

“I’m eatin’.” Lohn plucked another scrap into his mouth. “I’ll be more bread than man at the end of this, though. I’m already more sugar than brain.” He scoffed, and muttered, “When aren’t I?”

“You’re a cinnamon man,” Redd said. “Nice-lookin’ on the outside, sweet on the inside.”

Lohn snorted, tipping his head down to hide his sudden blush. “Shoot, man.” He tucked his hair behind his ear and peeked up, shyly eyeing Redd’s grin. “Where was this sweet-talk when Mama was sendin’ me packing every other week? I could’ve used a kind word.”

Redd swiped up his sugar crumbs with the last of his bread. “I’ve said plenty of kind words to you, Lightning. Whether you hear them is another story.”

“Well, what are you doing, whispering?”

Redd gave Lohn a stern glare through those orange-tinted aviators he always wore. “I say everything loud n’ clear, man,” Redd said. “Problem is, you elect to ignore me.”

“No, I don’t.”

Redd raised his eyebrows.

“I don’t!” Lohn insisted, feeling hot under his shirt collar now. “No offence meant to you, Rabbit, but I think I’d remember if you ever told me I was good-lookin’ before.”

Redd seemed taken aback. “I tell you that every time you fix your hair.”

“Pff. That hardly counts; that’s just telling me I look all right, like I won’t frighten the children.” Lohn nodded pointedly to a gaggle of young’uns who stampeded past, shrieking, chased by their harried parents. “Saves me some embarrassment, too, so I won’t end up on YouTube with my hat on backwards.” Lohn fiddled with the sleeve of his black button-down, re-rolling it to his elbow.

A disgruntled sound escaped Redd’s throat, and he shifted on his café chair, crumpling up the baking paper that had contained his bread. “Figures. I should know by now; I have to be doubly clear on everything before you understand what I mean. Maybe I should say everything twice.”

“Even if you didn’t,” Lohn said, tone more annoyed than he felt, “I do appreciate it. Your compliments.”

Redd snorted. “Yeah, really sounds like it.”

“And I appreciate you bringing me to my favourite place on Earth instead of letting me stew in self-pity,” Lohn grumbled. “That was kind of you.”

“Seemed like an obvious thing to do to cheer you up, but whatever. You’re welcome.”

Lohn stretched out his sweating hands. His eyes landed on Redd’s fists, tight on the tabletop. Lohn wanted to reach for him, but only made it halfway.

“Look,” Lohn said softly, “for what it’s worth, Rabbit, I’m glad I have your company.”

“Good. Because I’m not going anywhere. Not least because you’d get yourself lost in five minutes.”

“Right.” Lohn’s eyes lingered on Redd’s bothered expression. “Whatever you say.”

Deciding that Redd would unravel when he was ready, Lohn ate the last of his cinnamon bread and washed it down with the flavourless dregs from Redd’s Coca-Cola glass, which he’d stopped drinking when the ice melted. Lohn slammed the glass down empty, and said, “So, what now?”

Redd shrugged. The tassels on his black suede vest shifted in the breeze, tickling a few of those fine hairs on his freckled biceps. He pulled his cellphone from his jeans and checked it. “The lines for the nearby rides aren’t too long. Barnstormer is only a minute from here.”

“I don’t think I can swing that high on a full stomach,” Lohn said. “Let’s wait for the food to go down first.”

“We could check out the gift shops,” Redd suggested. “We have some spending money. I’d like to get something to take back home.”

“Like one of them hand-blown glass vases?”

“Maybe.” Redd reconsidered. “No, I mean something more personal to us. I’ve been thinking I want some decent memorabilia from this trip. Something for you to remember it all by. Marking the end of a relationship that was no good for you; something to look back on our time together. All that. It’s us experiencing real freedom again, like all those years ago, back before we got involved with other people.”

“With women, you mean?”

Redd didn’t reply.

Lohn took a deep breath of the stuffy air, and swivelled ninety degrees in his chair to hang an elbow off the back. He gazed out at the fountain in the pond, quickly hypnotised by its repetitive spray pattern. He had to tilt his head slightly, trying to see around two young people who were taking photos of each other right in front of the view.

“I don’t know what I’d buy,” Lohn said, just loud enough for Redd to hear. “I don’t have so much as a shelf for trinkets, let alone the money to make a careless purchase. Whatever I get needs to be small enough to fit in my car and cheap enough I can still buy food for the week.” He rubbed his forehead, stressed over the idea.

“There’s plenty that would fit that bill. And I can pay for you, anyway, if you’ll let me. But, listen,” Redd added, “when it comes to it, man, so long as we take away memories, that’s all we need. That’s all we came for, ultimately. Good memories.”

Lohn wished the memories he was making now were as good as what he’d come to expect after the last time they visited. The sheer amount of longing he felt was tempering his experience today. He wanted to feel ecstasy and elation, but despite Redd’s efforts, Lohn was plateauing around ‘mildly content’. Considering the despair he’d been suffering these last months, up to and including yesterday’s misery, ‘mildly content’ was an improvement. But Lord, did he wish he felt more.

Last time they were here, he’d been so naively full of hope, convinced as he was that he and Redd could thrive in this place forever, just them and nobody else. But now? He knew it wasn’t true. The good times would end; Redd would step away. Having been through two failed marriages since then, Lohn was only barely fighting against the belief that he’d never find the connection and camaraderie he craved.

That underlying ache blanketed everything in a gloom. A vital aspect of this experience was missing: hope, having faith that everything he liked wasn’t going to be taken from him the moment the weekend was over. Even trying to cast that fear aside, remembering that Redd was the one who asked him here, and still cared deeply for him after so long, Lohn still waited for happiness to click into place, or a spark to fire, expecting to brighten up like a lightbulb. There had to be something to do around here that would flip the switch...

Although his eyes had been on the fountain, Lohn found himself watching the obstruction instead. The woman posing for a photo was heavily pregnant, and had such a lovely smile on her face. Her dress was long, light, and airy, and billowed the same way as the fountain spray. Her partner was tall and pale and handsome, and only when Lohn registered that did he look back and notice the woman was dark brown in skin tone. Her hair was plaited and glossy, long to her bosom. They were an attractive couple, and Lohn supposed whatever baby would soon pop out of the lady would be a beautiful one.

He watched them switch places: now the lady took photos of the man, propped against the iron fence with the Grist Mill and the pond behind him.

Another minute passed, slowly, wistfully...

Lohn noticed himself floating in a strange dissonance all of a sudden, although it had come on gradually. He looked around. All the people in sight were with their families. He saw a thin old man holding the hand of his far larger, far younger wife, who was sunburned around the straps of her workout top. A gaggle of Black children bounced around their one caretaker, who was handing out popsicles. A blonde mom held a toddler on her hip with another baby in a stroller, presumably waiting for her partner to exit the BBQ Corner.

Lohn looked from all that back to Redd. A gust of hot air caught Redd’s mullet and rushed it into an eddy of golden strands, alight in the Tennessee sunshine. Lohn watched it settle, then looked away, far away, back to the couple by the pond.

“Why are we here, man?” Lohn uttered.

Redd hummed a question mark, not looking up from his phone.

Lohn glanced back at him. “Two divorced men take a free weekend, and they show up here, at a family theme park. We screwed up our chances at family already. What are we lookin’ for, here? Are we even lookin’ forwards, or are we lookin’ backwards?”

“How’d you mean?”

“We had the time of our lives here eight years ago, right? One month, hiding out in Dollywood, snuck in one one ticket. And now we’re back to relive it. As if we could... reset. Like we’re still those young, unmarried, innocent men we were back then. But we couldn’t even sneak in on one ticket like we did last time. We can’t even pretend it’s like old times. So what—” Distressed, now, Lohn looked at the couple, watching the man wrap an arm around his woman’s shoulders, and reach up his arm to take a selfie. “What are we doing here? What happens once this is over?”

“I told you not to think about that crap, man,” Redd said. He put his phone down with a sigh. “We’re here for you to unwind. I know it’s just one weekend, but that’s enough time to have fun. We can do whatever you want. Don’t worry about it being over later, because right now, nothing else matters.”

“How can it not matter?” Lohn asked, feeling a great ache in his heart as the man and the woman faced each other, taking photos without looking at the camera, only at each other. Both of them had a hand on the lady’s protruding belly. “How am I meant to stop wanting that?”

“Wanting what?”

Redd was quiet for a moment, then Lohn heard some breath escape him.

“Don’t stare at them, man,” Redd said. “You’re being weird about it.”

The couple leaned close and kissed, and the man’s arm stayed in the air, phone in hand. Lohn heard a fluttering, longing sigh rip out of his own throat, and he covered it with a cough, but badly.

“Things... happen,” Redd said, voice halting. “When they’re meant to. With... you know, with the people they’re meant to happen with. Just stay patient.”

“I was patient,” Lohn told Redd seriously, giving him a steady look. “Rabbit, I waited all my god-damn life and I— I had a wife. If you count Tyrone, I had a child, even if he weren’t really mine. And I still didn’t get... that. Not ever.” He looked forlornly at the couple. The man darted out to a passer-by, offering his phone, but the stranger spoke a word and carried on, clearly in a hurry.

“That?” Redd wondered. “What part of ‘that’ are you lookin’ for?”

Lohn slowly got to his feet.

“Where’re you goin’?” Redd asked.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Don’t— Oh, come on, man...”

Lohn brushed sugar crumbs from his lips as he strode across the courtyard, then lifted his hat on his head to let a wash of cooler air rush underneath before it resettled. He tipped his hat as he arrived in the couple’s vicinity. “Afternoon. Sir. Ma’am. I see you’re in need of a photographer?”

“Oh, excellent,” the man said, and Lohn was startled to hear a posh accent. “Please, yes, if you wouldn’t mind, my wife and I just want a few good shots for the honeymoon album.”

“You’re, uh... from across the pond? Europe?”

“London, actually,” the man replied. He had a large jaw, an uncomfortably piercing pair of grey eyes, and a waft of red-blonde hair that seemed to be gelled in place even firmer than the top of Redd’s mullet. “Are you local?”

“From Tennessee?” Lohn grinned. “Aw, naw - I’m a North Carolina boy, born and bred. Me and my partner both.” Lohn thumbed over his shoulder at Redd, who was still perched at the shaded café table, staring. “That said, Rabbit grew up down south for a fair number of years before I met him.” Lohn took the phone he was handed, and got used to the feel of it in his palm. “Now, you’ll have to tell me how to use one of these - is this one of them Apple i-Phones?”

“You’ve never seen an iPhone?!” the woman asked in surprise. Now he saw her up close, Lohn guiltily realised he didn’t know enough human geography to guess whether she was from India or another nearby place. But her accent was just as Londonish as her husband’s, and her voice had a pleasant warble to it.

“Ahhh... I’ve seen plenty on my screen, handled not a one in person,” Lohn said with a high sideways grin. “These always seemed to me like the cellular telephone choice of moneyed folk. That forthcoming kid of yours would be well-off, am I right?”

The woman laughed, and the bridge of her nose scrunched. “Fingers crossed. By the way, I loooove your accent. It’s so charming.” She wrapped her manicured hands around her husband’s bicep, smiling at Lohn as Lohn smiled back, half paying attention as the man showed him the camera controls. The buttons weren’t at all different to what Lohn knew, as it turned out.

“Phillip, let’s get one like before,” the woman suggested, patting his arm. “Put your arm around me.” She lifted it and Phillip draped it over her shoulders, hugging her.

“Phillip,” Lohn repeated, as his heart squeezed, enraptured by the sight of such effortless physical affection. He chuckled. “How about that. Fancy name, fancy accent. I’ll bet your name is fancy too?” he added to the lady in a curious tone.

“I’m Chahna,” the woman said. “Most people call me Cha-Cha. You?”

“I’m Lohn Lightning,” Lohn replied, with another nod to her. “Real nice to meet you.”

“Lightning!” Chahna seemed delighted. “Like the Lightning Rod ride at - where was it? - Jukebox Junction? Back that way. Do you know it? It’s a shame it’s out of order today, I really-really wanted to try that.”

“Tell me about it,” Lohn uttered. He backed up a few steps as the couple got in position. “It’s my favourite ride, but that thing’s been in and out of commission since it was built.” He smiled awkwardly. “Kind of like me.”

“Aww,” Chahna said.

“And smile,” Phillip said warmly to his wife. “Whenever you’re ready, Mr. Lightning.”

Lohn raised the phone horizontally with both hands. He stood and took a number of shots, one after the other, as Phillip and Chahna hugged each other side-by-side, then faced each other, and hugged again, kept apart by the unborn baby between them. They looked into each other’s eyes, and Lohn took photo after photo...

He swallowed hard, tight-chested. His hands started to shake so he put more effort into keeping them steady, but it was more intense than his usual vibration - his hands were craving touch. A loving touch, like Phillip’s hand in Cha-Cha’s, fingers entwined, lowering to hold her pregnant belly. Touch, like Phillip’s hand rising to tuck a sweep of Chahna’s black bangs behind her ear, then hold her shoulder. Touch, like—

They kissed.

Lohn’s hands lowered for a moment; abruptly overcome. He gathered himself and whispered an apology as he started taking photos again, stepping forward for a closer shot, then hobbling backwards a few steps for a wider view, then a portrait view.

He came back to them, sad but smiling, head down. Chahna reached for the phone, and she began skimming through the photo reel, and cooed when she saw some of them.

“I hope I did you proud,” Lohn said. “You two are makin’ me feel all manners of jealous. It’s real beautiful, what you have.” He worked up a wonky smile. “I’m... ah, I’m hopin’ I find a similar situation for myself, someday, and I’ll have pictures like these ones up on my walls. Hopin’ and prayin’.”

“You’re not alone, though, are you?” Chahna asked. She glanced towards the table outside the BBQ Corner. “Aren’t you and him together?”

Lohn glanced back. “Oh - we are! Yeah. That’s my partner, Rabbit. We’re here for a much-needed weekend getaway. Just to... I don’t know - spend some quality time together. Rabbit insisted. He’s... sweet to me like that.” Lohn felt a little warmth in his chest, and he looked down, smiling to himself.

“Well, I for one am so glad he insisted!” Chahna said. “It’s been lovely to meet you, and these photos are so, so good.”

“It was my pleasure.”

“Thanks, mate,” Phillip said, offering a handshake.

“Mate?” Lohn asked in alarm. “Is that— Do you mean, like—”

“Oh, it’s like ‘pal’,” Phillip clarified. “‘Buddy’. ‘Man’?”

“Oh!” Lohn took Phillip’s hand, and let the man shake. “Beg pardon, I thought you were flirtin’ with me.”

Phillip laughed. “In full view of our significant others? Mm, not really my style, mate.”

Lohn shook with more force now, grinning. When he pulled back he felt money in his palm - and he knew better than to question it. He closed his fist, smiled and nodded, tipped the brim of his hat once again, and stepped back. “Wishing you two the best and most luxurious of lives, ma’am; sir.”

“Do you want us to take some pictures of you?” Chahna asked, taking a step after Lohn as he retreated. “You and Rabbit.”

Lohn’s unibrow raised. “Oh?” He glanced over at Rabbit. “I don’t know; he’s, uh... kind of anti-social. He’d hate that I said it, but he gets mighty embarrassed when I go up and talk to strangers.” Lohn was about to turn Chahna’s offer down, but then thought about it for a moment longer. “But... I mean... it’s true that we barely have any photos of us that aren’t overly staged. It would be a decent reminder of our weekend together. And he said...? He did want that.” Lohn hesitated, then grinned at the couple. “I’ll be right back in a moment, don’t go anywhere!”

Lohn bolted across the courtyard and strutted up to Redd, stuffing the twenty dollars he’d been given into his pocket as he went.

“Are you done yet?” Redd asked.

“Up. Come with me.” Lohn offered a hand, but when Redd didn’t react, Lohn took Redd’s hand off the table and pulled it, tugging until Redd stood up and separated himself from the metal chair and table. “Come on!” Lohn insisted.

Redd followed, muttering, “Where are we going? Why are you in such a hurry, man? Why— Oh, nonono, Lightning, I don’t want— I hate meeting random people!” Redd hissed those last words, and tried to tug the other way, but Lohn dragged him all the way up to the pond’s fenced edge, fingers latched firmly around Redd’s hand.

Lohn beamed at his new friends. “This is my partner, Rabbit.”

Redd pushed his aviators higher up his nose, and gave a tense smile. “How’d you do.”

“Phillip and Cha-Cha are taking photos of us, Rabbit,” Lohn told Redd, his tone leaving no room for argument. “So we’ll have a reminder of this real special, real important, real nice weekend we’re havin’ together. Just you and me, and nobody else. Didn’t you say you wanted a reminder?”

Redd actually relaxed upon hearing that. “Photos? If that’s all, sure.” He smiled genuinely, giving Phillip a nod and Chahna a friendly look. “We can do that.”

“Really?” Lohn lit up.

“If it’s what you want...?” Redd shrugged. “Why not?”

Pleased, Lohn began fussing Redd around, shoving him two steps to the right so that the fountain and the Grist Mill could be in view of the camera. “You’ll have to give them your phone,” Lohn explained, reaching into Redd’s warm front pocket to get his cellphone. Redd didn’t resist; he raised his arm so Lohn could dig in. “It takes better pictures than mine.”

Redd took the phone and unlocked it with a fingerprint, then offered it to the couple - Chahna first, then Phillip, then Chahna again when she reached out to take it.

Lohn hung both thumbs in his front pockets and stood a foot away from Redd’s side, giving the camera lens his trademark lopsided grin. Redd cleared his throat - and then fretted, making a dissatisfied noise, looking down.

Lohn gave him a look, and Redd looked back helplessly, muttering, “I usually have my guitar. I don’t have any idea what to do with my hands without it.”

“Put your arm around him, mate,” Phillip said, gesturing. “Around the shoulders.”

“Yeah, the same way they did,” Lohn agreed. He sidestepped closer so Redd was in hugging distance. But when Redd hesitated, unsure what to do, Lohn took Redd’s left hand the way Chahna had taken Phillip’s, and Lohn draped it over his own shoulders.

The moment the weight of Redd’s arm touched down, Lohn felt a sunburst of relief, bright and joyous; sparks spilled all the way down his spine and settled in his belly. His stomach was left fluttering; his tightly-held right fist opened up and his lungs inhaled involuntarily, and then he exhaled, smiling. The lightbulb had lit up, and he was shining at last.

Phillip peered at the phone screen over Chahna’s shoulder. “Oh, yeah-yeah, that’s way better,” he said to himself. “You’re way more relaxed.”

“Yeah,” Chahna replied quietly.

Lohn glanced at Redd to see if he was smiling. He was.

So Lohn smiled wider - and even wider still when Redd turned his head and met Lohn’s eyes.

Lohn breathed deeply, feeling a rush of gratitude that Redd was not only here, having paid for their travel here, and their entry passes for the weekend, and their motel, but here beside him, letting Lohn immerse himself properly for the first time today. Redd had tried to distract Lohn with food and entertainment, but Lohn’s mind had been half on real life. Somehow this was the first time Lohn had felt... grounded. Like he was here, now, as himself, rather than trying to clutch at old memories and recreate something from long ago. The weight of Redd’s arm was enough to hold him down.

Redd’s hand shifted on Lohn’s shoulder - and Lohn realised with a jolt that he was holding Redd’s hand still, and had been ever since he’d brought his arm up. He let go - and Redd’s arm fell all the way down his back.

“Shoot,” Lohn flustered. “Sorry.”

Redd put his arm back around Lohn, but around his waist this time, hugging him an inch or two closer - and gave him a teasing squish. Lohn laughed under his breath and elbowed at Redd’s side, playfully shoving him, then reaching for him, taking him around his back in turn. Redd was so sturdy, standing at nearly seven feet tall, with a stocky frame to match. Despite that, he wasn’t muscular; he was slim enough that Lohn’s arm comfortably crossed his lower back, and it was curiously satisfying thing, to hug him tight to Lohn’s side, and discover that he didn’t pull away as he usually would if they ever got into this position by accident.

Lohn could smell Redd’s pit sweat. He turned his head one way, then the other, trying to avoid it, but ended up laughing, and he let go of Redd, assuming they were done now, since if Lohn got uncomfortable, Redd had to be triply so.

“Now face each other?” Chahna said.

“What?” Lohn said.

Phillip gestured to direct them. Lohn looked up at Redd unsurely, but rather than backing out, Redd just sighed and put his hands on Lohn’s shoulders, squeezing with a comfortable amount of grip. Lohn started to smile, feeling warm in his lower belly. He giggled as Redd tugged him closer, and although Lohn squirmed in uncomfortable delight, he didn’t step away. He reached to adjust his bangs under his hat, then tipped the hat back a bit so he could meet Redd’s eyes easily.

Redd gave a cheeky eye-roll, lips pursed to the side, and Lohn chuckled, finally putting his hands where they wanted to go: on Redd’s waist. Redd responded with a huff of surprise, lips parting.

“O-kay,” Redd said a moment later, in amused acceptance.

“This is so weird,” Lohn uttered.

Redd chortled. “At least you’re smilin’.”

Lohn grinned even more at that. “Am I?” he asked, before giggling.

Redd looked down at Lohn’s mouth to check, then back to his eyes. “Yeah,” he said, affectionately. “Bigger than I’ve seen you smile in... a while.” Redd’s own smile reached his eyes now, crinkles so deep that they were clear even through his aviator lenses. “Who knew you just needed to get in front of a camera again?”

It was true that Lohn loved this. But... “I’m not certain it’s that,” he admitted to Redd. “I don’t think it’s the camera. In all honesty, I don’t really like that we’re bein’ watched.” Lohn tried not to look at the couple and the phone camera, too aware that photographs were being taken. It felt like there was heat radiating from that direction; perhaps he was just blushing.

Redd squinted in confusion. “I thought you loved being in the spotlight.”

“I— It’s not that. I just mean,” Lohn wet his lips, mouth feeling dry now. “I— I don’t know. I kind of like how you’re... holding me.” Lohn’s breath went short and his grin fluttered. “Oh, man, that sounds— That came out wrong. Heh. Uhh—”

Lohn’s shy pleasure turned to shock as Redd lowered one hand and held Lohn’s waist too.

“Oh!” Lohn exhaled.

Redd tipped his bearded chin down and cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact.

“That is so cute,” Chahna said. She was standing behind Phillip, who now held the phone, and Chahna hung on his shoulder with both hands. She stepped away from him, and asked Lohn, cheerfully, “Do you want a few more? Like the last ones you took of Phillip and I together?”

Lohn remembered them kissing. His belly flooded with excitement and apprehension.

With a swirling, goopy, cinnamon-bread-brained slowness, Lohn came to a realisation: Chahna and Phillip thought.... wait, they thought Redd and Lohn were romantically involved, didn’t they? Maybe ‘partner’ meant something different to the Londonites than it did here, the way ‘mate’ did. As the understanding registered, Lohn was taken over by delight - hot-cold tingles all over.

“We could stop here, mind; I think we got a few properly good ones,” Chahna added, sensing Lohn’s alarm.

“Alright. Are you satisfied now?” Redd asked, peering down at Lohn.

Lohn looked up at Redd, who was still holding Lohn’s waist and shoulder, keeping close. Redd didn’t know what Chahna meant about the next pose - he didn’t ask. But he wasn’t pulling away...

Lohn let his focus drop to Redd’s lips, wondering if they could do what the couple had done. Dolly Parton was an accepting lady; the people in her theme park ought to respect that, right? If Redd and Lohn were quick, nobody would take much notice.

It thrilled Lohn that he and Redd were mistaken for a couple. Even the rollercoasters weren’t this exciting. Him and Rabbit! A funny little two-person family.

They could kiss...?

Like a real couple. Like they were married or something.

Maybe it would only be pretend, but at least Lohn would get to see what it was like to be loved like that, the way he wanted. The idea seemed more enticing with every beat of his fast-thumping heart.

Redd wouldn’t judge him, would he? He was still here. Still making sure Lohn was having a good time.

“Uhhh, seriously - are we done?” Redd asked, looking between the lowered phone and the stunned, slack-jawed expression Lohn wore. “Do I still need to hold onto you, or what? Could you take your own weight anytime soon?”

Lohn unconsciously clung on a little tighter and let out a tiny noise, and Redd’s frustration melted to a charmed half-grin, understanding Lohn didn’t want to be done yet.

“C—” Lohn caught fire, but it felt good, so he let himself burn. “Can we take a photo like they did, Rabbit?”

Redd glanced over at the couple. “I thought that’s what we did already.”

“No, like...” Lohn trembled. “Like at the end when I took their picture. Their... pose. Did you see?”

“Uh...?” Redd shook his head. “Show me?”

Lohn hesitated, not sure he ought to show Redd without telling him first. “It’s like. We face each other, and, and then...” Lohn stood on his tiptoes, heeled boots bending mid-sole. “You have to hold me. Around my waist, both hands.” Redd did. “And th... then you lean down a bit... a-hhh... and...” Lohn swallowed.

Redd leaned down, confused. “Are you about to headbutt me? I already have half a headache from the heat, man, don’t—”

“No. I won’t hurt you. I just want to kiss you.” Lohn’s breath shivered. His hands had moved to Redd’s neck and shoulders, scrunching into his hair. They exchanged breath, intimate in the shade of Lohn’s hat. “Just quickly.”

Redd’s lips shivered around the word “What?” which came out as a near-silent breath of disbelief.

Lohn nudged in that last inch, breathing out against Redd’s lips—

Redd dropped Lohn and sprang back, recoiling from Lohn’s kiss. They’d never even made contact. Redd stared at Lohn now, hunched and frozen, wide-eyed.

Immediately sickened by regret, Lohn shrank back and ducked his head, lifting his hat to finger-comb his hair tidy. “Shit,” he breathed, for lack of anything else to say. “It— It’s just how they did it, man. That’s all...”

Redd breathed heavily, tidying his tasselled vest and smoothing down his beard. When Lohn glanced over, he saw Redd staring at him directly, still spooked. Lohn couldn’t tell if he was mad or not. He seemed too shocked to be anything else.

Dizzied by all this, Lohn wiped his own mouth with the back of his hand, still feeling his lips tingling with arousal. He forced out a chuckle, and turned to Phillip and Chahna, who seemed a fair bit confused.

“Like I said earlier,” Lohn said quietly as he approached, fighting to keep a smile on his face, “he gets mighty shy in front of people. You’d never think it to look at him, when we’re singin’ together in our music videos.” He took Redd’s phone from Chahna. “Thanks.” He considered looking at the photos but decided that was best done alone. “Oh, you should take this back, now that we’re even.” He offered Phillip his money back, but the man refused it with a soft push of Lohn’s hand.

“Thank you so much, again,” Chahna said to Lohn. There was a concerned note in her voice. “W— We should be getting on, before the lines for the rides fill up again, but... are you okay? Lohn?”

Lohn gave her a reassuring smile. “I always am, ma’am. Always... am.”

She didn’t believe him, but she smiled back. She glanced at Redd, then back to Lohn, and took his hand to squeeze it. “Have a good day, yeah? We’ll see you around?”

“I hope so,” Lohn said.

Another half-dozen farewell phrases came up to his mouth, but never left his lips, and he stayed silent as the couple took hold of each other’s hands and turned to walk away. They both peeked back at different times to wave, but eventually they were lost between other theme park patrons, swaying leafy trees, and the brightness of the sunshine.

At a loss, and totally ashamed, Lohn went to sit on one of the green park benches that backed the iron fence. A cool speck of fountain water touched his left ear.

Redd had sat on the other end of the bench a while ago, and now his and Lohn’s spread knees were inches apart.

Lohn took a breath, and said, firmly, “Rabbit, I’m sorry—”

“Do you want to visit the eagle enclosure first, or head back through Craftsman’s Alley first?” Redd nodded upward in the same direction Phillip and Chahna had left. “They’re all that way; we could do both. I need to see the map, where’s the phone?”

Lohn handed over Redd’s phone, and Redd took it gently.

Lohn stared, watching Redd open the Dollywood app and poke around.

“The Tennessee Tornado and Blazing Fury are on the same route,” Redd pointed out, showing Lohn a part of the map on his screen. “I say we head that way and see what the lines are like when we arrive.”

“Okay?”

“We can come back for Barnstormer when we’re gettin’ hungry, and then do another buffet plate after, so we’re not swinging on full stomachs.”

“Yeah, that—” Lohn stood up, following Redd’s lead. “That sounds good.”

“Alright.” Redd pocketed his phone, already walking.

Although he was baffled by it, Lohn decided not to question Redd’s mood, and simply strode after him. If Redd could pretend nothing awkward had happened between them, Lohn would do his best to do the same.

Just the sound of wind in the leaves was enough to made Redd feel at ease. There was happiness stored in the branches of these trees: his joy, Lohn’s joy.

Redd crunched through the leaf litter, marching halfway up an incline, and Lohn kept pace behind him.

Somehow Redd had remembered these trees being pine, but they clearly weren’t all pine. Most had big green leaves, but there was pine straw scattered across the dirt, soft and loose underfoot.

“We’d best not stray too far from the path,” Lohn said, reaching up to brush his fingertips on the back of Redd’s jeans. Redd took a few more steps upward, then stopped, looking out at the rear of the Eagle Mountain Sanctuary. Lohn added, “We always snuck back here after dark; they’ll more than likely see us on camera if we go too far in when the sun’s still up.”

“I just wanted to see where we used to sleep. It has to be someplace around here.”

“I remember where we peed,” Lohn said, eyeing a copse of trees and some shrubbery. “At least before the park opened in the A.M.”

“Yeah.” Redd sniffed, then inhaled to the bottom of his lungs. “I don’t think we could do the same now. A whole month sleeping on the open ground? My spine couldn’t take it.”

“Older and wiser,” Lohn agreed. He gulped.

He seemed so unsettled, and Redd wished he would unwind. Lohn looked at this beautiful woodland like he expected it to shout at him. His blue eyes were striking in the sunlight but there was a shade in them; fear, sadness; perhaps both.

“You don’t seem that into being here,” Redd noted. “Are you ready to head back? Or can we stay awhile? We could find a good place to sit. Talk for a bit.”

Lohn didn’t reply, distracted, gazing into the middle-distance. One of his hands came up, and he hugged at his own bicep, holding himself tight through his shirt. “I miss it,” he said.

“Hm?”

“Sleeping beside you.” Lohn’s eyes flicked to meet Redd’s. “You put your arm around me that one night it got cold.”

Redd felt his belly tense up and his heart clench. “Yeah? I... don’t even remember that.”

Lohn blinked a few times, and his hand slowly stroked down his arm until his grip fell away. “I do.” He inhaled, and turned the brim of his hat down between fingers and thumb. “It’s all in the past. Best that we move on already.” He turned around and began scampering down the incline, arms out to balance himself.

Redd followed, more careful on the slope. He pondered as he went...

What was going on in Lohn’s head?

There were moments today when Redd had never seen him happier, and moments where Redd seriously worried about what Lohn would do with himself once this was all over. It was clear that Lohn responded well to Redd’s closeness, and liked anything they could do together, interacting, but some things they encountered - like the eagle enclosure, that in Redd’s mind represented the pinnacle of their relationship, the best times they’d ever had - only made Lohn look heartbroken.

Redd wished he knew how to help. He needed to make Lohn envision a real future ahead of him, to assure him his life wasn’t unsalvageable now his wife had left him. Redd needed to prove there was still time for Lohn to find what (or who) he wanted. But Lohn just kept missing the point. He saw the woods and declared it “all in the past”, not noticing how much the trees had grown since their last visit, never even considering sitting down to talk about the silly things they used to talk about here: all their big plans, all their goals, all their fantasies for their music career. To Lohn, “older and wiser” appeared to mean “boring and hopeless”.

Of course, inevitably, Redd kept thinking back to that moment by the pond, with Lohn’s breath on his lips, telling him exactly what he wanted. It had been over in a split second, but the sight lingered behind Redd’s eyelids, there whenever he closed his eyes. And the sight came with every other sense, too: the heat of Lohn’s body, the cinnamon smell of his breath, hands on Redd’s waist, that raspy, soft whisper filling Redd’s ears and head as Lohn begged for a kiss.

How could that fix anything? Lohn wanted a family, not... whatever Redd was to him. Redd was never an A-student when it came to his science classes, but he knew enough biology to be certain: of all the people that could give Lohn a baby, Redd was not of that persuasion.

Even taking baby-making out of the equation, how much comfort could Redd really provide?

Lohn must just be desperate. That had to be it.

The poor man just wanted someone to hold him at night. Kiss him gently. Be sweet to him, because hardly anyone ever was.

Redd wished he could make him happy, he did, but if this Saturday proved anything so far, it was that Redd wasn’t capable of keeping that smile in place. Redd had done all he knew to please his best friend, and it wasn’t working.

Tomorrow had to be better. Once Lohn’s head was clear, they could sit down and have some hard conversations, and talk about what was next. They’d confirm properly where Lohn would live; Redd would loan him some money he wouldn’t want to accept. Today, Lohn just needed to remember that there were things worth living for.

So many things.

As the afternoon ticked on, they wandered through craft stalls and art demonstrations, tried a few snacks, and rode a number of rollercoasters, some more than once. Again, a light came to Lohn’s eyes for a while, and he laughed and enjoyed himself when presented with peanut candy or a particularly thrilling loop in a track, but Redd would look away, then look back to find the light had dimmed again.

It didn’t leave completely, which was reassuring. There was no way for joy to leave completely, not in this place. Not possible.

By the evening, they made their way to the Thunderhead ride. The lines had dwindled to near-nothing, as all those family patrons had taken their kids back to the resort for the evening.

Sundown was nigh; golden shafts cut between the wood that made up the rollercoaster. The whole frame was built like a house of playing cards, only with giant matchsticks, with the track rising and falling atop the frame like cartoon hills. The ride lived between two mountains, although neither was visible from the shelter where people waited for the carts to return to the station.

Lohn stood with his arms crossed, leaning his rear on the metal barrier that guided waiting folks into single file. Redd leaned on the opposite barrier, strumming an invisible guitar, humming under his breath as he made up songs. Lohn watched his fingers move, smiling slightly. Redd noticed the smirk and smiled back, head tilted, curious.

“What are you thinkin’ about?” Redd asked quietly. There was a hubbub in the waiting hall, as people talked with their friends, but he didn’t want his voice to be singled out.

Gradually, Lohn came to. “What?” He blinked a few times, looking at Redd. “Oh, I— Heh.” He rolled a shoulder. “I was trying to make up a dirty joke about us riding Thunderhead. I guess that’s the joke in itself. We’re getting head? The ride’s all wood? I don’t know.”

Redd arched his lips, mildly amused.

“I already figured, hell, my own Lightning Rod is longer than this line,” Lohn added, casually.

Redd chuckled at that. He clicked his cheek to his teeth, and quipped back, “There’s only a five minute wait. That’s not saying much.”

Lohn chortled, unfolding his arms, setting his hands on the metal bar and relaxing back. “I got another one. If—” He hesitated, then said, lowly, “If someone felt like, uhh, gettin’ a lick in my Mystery Mine later - they’ve got a Tennessee Tornado waitin’ for them, if you know what I mean.” He kicked his heel along the concrete, shyly. “How’s that sound?”

“Sounds hot,” Redd said. “Like... Blazing Fury hot.” He grinned at his friend, enjoying the fact Lohn seemed surprised that Redd responded that way. “I will say, you offering a Tennessee Tornado sounds like I’d have a better time than if you offered me The Scrambler.”

Lohn snickered. “Still, better that than Barnstormer, right? That’d be a rough ride. For you.” Lohn pushed at Redd’s chest playfully, then darted back when Redd jabbed for him, as if ready to tickle. Lohn giggled and several people turned their way.

Redd flushed hot. He glanced around, then stroked his thumb against his beard, tidying it. He kept his voice to a low, amused rumble, as he said, “Maybe now’s not the best time to be talkin’ about you... storming the barn.” And by that, Redd meant he regretted inputting himself into this thrill-ride pun-based sex hypothetical, and worried Lohn was about to try flirting for real. He was getting handsy as he got comfortable. “There’s too many people around.”

“Eh.” Lohn went quiet, but his smile stayed. “I could’ve made an STD joke about FireChaser Express. Spoilsport.”

Redd smiled to himself, amused.

Lohn looked out towards the loading bay, which was still empty, as the train of carts was still doing its round. Redd could hear distant screams.

Drawing in a deep breath, Lohn relaxed a little more. “Rabbit, can I ask you somethin’?”

Redd glanced his way. “What’s stopping you?”

Lohn shrugged, not meeting Redd’s eyes. “I’ve been debatin’ asking for a while.”

“Well, shoot. I’ll try and answer before the ride comes by.”

“Alright. If I ask, would you swear to be honest? Don’t worry about hurtin’ my feelings; I just need somebody to give me a straight answer.”

Redd’s stomach twisted, but he nodded.

Lohn gulped. “Am— Am I the problem?”

A frown of confusion tightened Redd’s brow. “What problem?”

“It’s just,” Lohn said, bouncing in place a little in nervousness, “this is twice now that I’ve been married and it didn’t work out. And I’ve been on the Internet long enough, and met enough people to take note of the fact there’s plenty of folks out there presenting toxic behaviour, and making the assumption that everyone else is the problem. They go around thinking they’re the one who’s in the right every time. And if they ever admit their fault, they assume maybe they just have questionable taste in lovers and always pick the bad ones. You know, those people?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Thing is, though, the way I see it, there’s one common denominator in all my problems, and it’s me. I’m wondering if I’m just not built to maintain a healthy relationship. Maybe I’m going about romance all wrong. Maybe it’s not the women who mess things up for me; maybe it’s... me. I’m the problem. I’m the one, I mess up my relationships. I’m doing somethin’ wrong, aren’t I?”

Redd shook his head. “You and me are still doing fine.”

Lohn looked up at him, inscrutable.

Redd shrugged. “Some relationships don’t pan out. Doesn’t mean someone was toxic, just that you weren’t a good fit. Don’t forget, man, I’ve known you since we were kids, and we never fought badly enough that I wanted to be rid of you,” Redd smiled. “We still support each other. It’s good.” Redd stood upright and put his hand on Lohn’s damp shirt back, patting assuringly. The cart was coming to the station and people were preparing to embark for the next ride. “You’re not causing a problem. You just have them.”

Lohn hung his thumbs in his jeans’ pockets. “So I... I haven’t rurnt anything?”

“Ahh, I think your second divorce was a long time coming,” Redd said. “I don’t think there was all that much between you two to screw up, this time around.”

“Oh, I meant... I meant with you.”

Lohn looked up helplessly, searching Redd’s eyes for reassurance.

Redd could only assume Lohn was referring to his attempted kiss. “Rurnt?” Redd scoffed, rough-voiced. “How would you have rurnt...?” He shook his head. The crowds expanded as a bunch of people got off the newly-docked Thunderhead carts, laughing and chattering. “You can’t mess up what we have, man.”

Lohn was quiet as the ride’s conductor opened the barrier and let people through. Lohn ran to drop his hat in one of the troughs for loose belongings, then grabbed Redd’s hand and pulled him to the end of the mounting platform, snatching up the front seat in the front cart before anyone else could claim it.

Redd sat with him, very aware that Lohn was still holding the back of his hand once they sat on the slidy, cushy seat. He never used to hold onto Redd like that - it was always arms, or wrists, or the front of Redd’s jacket that he would grab.

Redd turned his wrist and tried to hold Lohn’s hand properly, but Lohn didn’t notice, as he let go to pull down the safety bar and trap them in the cart. Redd sighed and got himself as comfortable as he could be with a bar across his lap.

“You’re the only one,” Lohn said, as everyone else found their seats.

Redd glanced over, barely hearing Lohn’s rumble under the conductor’s loudspeaker announcement about the ride. “What’s that?”

Shifty-eyed, Lohn uttered, “You’re the only one who never hurt me.” He met Redd’s gaze, a gloss of emotion in his eyes. “Rabbit, I was so scared I hurt you earlier. Right after I promised you I wouldn’t.”

Redd slid his hand along the safety bar, and touched the side of it to the side of Lohn’s. He didn’t know what to say. The sight of Lohn so open and so fragile made Redd feel incredibly protective - angry, almost - but soft-hearted. Affection coursed through him, warm and urgent.

The cart jolted under them, and all thoughts vanished from Redd’s mind. Lohn started grinning and Redd grinned too, tightening his grip on the barrier. Out they went, into the sunshine, and one more wild ride.

They climbed, climbed, climbed, all too slowly, then juuuuust about peaked the first hill - and with a yelp and a shriek they were sent swooping down in epic curves, tied to the track but seemingly flying through an open world, untethered. Each thrilling twist and wave sent Redd’s stomach quivering into his mouth or his belly, adrenaline pumping, dizzying. Cool rushing air pummelled his face and swept his long hair way out behind him. Trees and the mountains rushed past, each view twisted away as soon as it arrived. Redd heard Lohn yelling beside him, his fists ghost-white on the bar, pressed tight against Redd’s now-numb hand.

Minutes felt like seconds, and suddenly they were back at the dock, panting, laughing, exhilarated and exhausted.

Redd’s legs trembled as he disembarked, still feeling like the concrete was dropping out from under him, but he got his bearings by the time Lohn had fetched his hat and donned it with a grin.

Without a word, they exited the station and stepped out into the warmth of the sunset, under geometric shadows cast by the rollercoaster’s wooden frame.

“Where to now?” Redd asked. “You hungry?”

Lohn stood by the bushes outside the Thunderhead entrance, both hands pawing his bangs straight either side of his face. “I could eat.”

Redd nodded towards Lumber Jack’s Pizza. “There?”

“I was thinking Red’s Drive-In,” Lohn said. “We’d have to walk back all the way back to Jukebox Junction, though. Figure we’d head that way before we leave.”

“Could you last out another hour?”

“Easy. Why?”

“Wildwood Grove is right over there. There’s a handful of new rides, and a light show when it gets dark.”

“Ooh! Yeah! I would’ve forgot if you didn’t mention it. It didn’t exist last time we stayed.”

“The Dragonflier and the Mockingbird one are kind of just children’s rides, but I still want—”

“Obviously!” Lohn bounced. “Yeah, let’s go! Go go go, come on.” Lohn was alive again, chirpy and light on his feet as they made their way up through Timber Canyon and around the bend to Wildwood.

They reached attraction 147 on the map, Treetop Tower, and in a fit of Lohn’s delight at finding something he hadn’t experienced here before, they climbed into in an acorn-like capsule with open sides, and around and around the eight capsules went, like a rising wooden carousel. Redd and Lohn got a high-up view of the area - not as complete as the view from Drop Line, but enough that Redd could admire the lights, all colourful against greyish-blue, now the sun was going down.

They returned to Earth, only to realise they’d followed the sun as they rose, and down here, it was twilight. The intense brightness of the sky remained, and the heat lingered in the ground. The cool, splishy-splashing sounds of the nearby water features seemed even more enthralling.

They whiled away the next hour visiting most of the new rides, including the Great Tree Swing, which Lohn decided he liked better than Barnstormer, because it didn’t swing quite so high.

Last of all, they hurried back to the Wildwood Tree. Twilight had turned to dusk, and in the violet gloom the world had come alive with pretty lights, and they knew there was a treat awaiting them at the Tree.

A loose crowd gathered around the central rock, around a raised-up tree that, in Redd’s opinion, didn’t look fully real. It could’ve been a child’s school-project recreation of a tree, with wire and papier-mâché and poster paint, but it was pretty in any case... and as Redd and Lohn approached, Redd realised it was bigger than he thought. The thing had to be fifty feet tall, and just as wide. Four of him and four of Lohn could stand on each other’s shoulders, and only then be able to reach the top.

“Oh, hey!” Lohn cheered, waving at someone in the gathering of people. Redd turned and followed Lohn, who had found his friends from earlier. “How’s things?”

Phillip and Cha-Cha made pleased noises, showing off some of their shopping. Cha-Cha then asked Lohn how their day had gone. Lohn immediately turned to look at Redd, beaming, and said, “It’s been amazing. Been real nice.” He turned to the couple. “We’re here to see the light show, is it startin’ soon?”

“Any minute now,” Cha-Cha said. She slipped her hand into Phillip’s, in a way that Redd found kind of grating, like she was showing off. Redd liked the idea of folks being in love, sure, but he thought flaunting it in front of other people was just tacky.

Redd grunted and looked away, eyeing the tree. At that very moment, he was startled by Dolly Parton’s voice through a speaker, booming underfoot and filling the air.

“In a clearing deep in the forest, under the mist of the beaaautiful smoky mountains, grows the ancient Wildwood Tree.”

Gentle woodwind music touched the air with sound, as all the leaves on the Tree collectively shifted from one colour to another, from dark purple to blue to green. Then came a whoosh and a swell of the music, and the Tree became bright with glowing green leaves. But they weren’t leaves, they were butterflies.

“Perched on a mighty stone base with roots that reach deep into the Earth, it spreads its branches wide.”

The music began to hurry in an exciting way, and Redd was very much reminded of 1990s movie soundtracks. He had a fondness for those. The Tree was sparkling now, a comfortable twinkle of lights like those on a Christmas fir. All green, all good. The crowd doubled in size, because people heard a familiar voice and flocked closer.

Redd felt a touch on his hand, and looked down - and was surprised to find Lohn close to his side, fingertips working their way to press on Redd’s palm. Lohn glanced at him, then blanched and looked at the Tree instead.

Redd stared at the side of Lohn’s face, bewildered, but not so bewildered that he pulled away. Redd hesitated, uncertain about this at first, but then closed his fingers around Lohn’s tentative grip.

They could hold hands if Lohn wanted. He had to be just as envious of Phillip and Cha-Cha’s affection as Redd had been, even if he showed it differently. Lohn sought affection out while Redd wanted to disparage it.

Perhaps Lohn’s idea was better. Healthier.

This could be okay.

Lohn pressed tight to Redd’s side, perhaps trying to hide their connected hands from anyone else’s view. The Tree burst into a glorious purple, music dancing as projected butterfly shapes went spinning up the trunk, settling in its branches.

Dolly Parton carried on her storytelling to soft music, such a cheer in her voice that Redd couldn’t find it in him to be tense, not about anything. Definitely not about the fact Lohn had quite literally taken his wellbeing into his own hands. Redd couldn’t resist, could he? All he wanted was Lohn to leave here feeling all right again, and if letting him snuggle up was what it took, Redd was willing. He made his mind up to be willing.

Redd realised he’d missed part of the Tree’s narrative, being so distracted by Lohn, but it didn’t matter much; it was clear the Tree was now in the throes of a storm. It didn’t move an inch, but the lights flickered and snapped like lightning strikes from its base, and thunder growled, gritty and rough on the ears. Camera flashes from the Grove lit the whole area every so often, bright as a real storm.

The Tree kept changing colour, shifting from mood to mood in the torment of the storm, and Lohn kept his hold on Redd, steady now. His thumb stroked softly along the side of Redd’s hand. A funny little electric flutter caught Redd’s insides, and he felt as struck by it as the Tree was by its own lightning.

And then, as the music soothed, the lights softened, and the Tree seemed to be caressed by sunshine. Its trunk turned back to brown, its leaves back to green. Then red, blue...

“But then - after a bit! The thunderclouds aaalways roll away, and the sun returns - leaving the Grove filled with rainbows of colour and light!”

Redd was floored by the way the colours overtook - saturated rainbows, every butterfly a different colour, all melding and merging, flowing together and sparkling. Even Lohn whispered, “Wow.”

It seemed so silly to be moved by some plastic LED butterflies, a violin, and a banjo, but the combination was harmonious, and somehow, having his best friend twined around his right hand just made it easier to fall victim to sweet music. As little as Redd ever felt like rainbows represented him, for one moment in his lifetime, he was convinced they existed just for him and his life’s companion, right here, right by his side.

The smile was audible in Dolly’s voice as she imparted, “Now legend also says, that on special nights like tonight? - when the Grove is alive with love and light? - your very own dreams can also take flight, carried by the wind, like a joyful song.”

Redd was elated to hear that. He only had one wish. He glanced at Lohn, hoping he would take something positive from Dolly’s words. Thankfully the man was enraptured, his blue eyes lit up with rainbows, as awe-inspired as he would be at a firework display.

Dolly finished, “And you can make the music of the mountains part of your heart’s song, forever.”

With a grand swell and sway of the orchestra, the music ended with a delightful climax, and the lights followed along, bright and colourful as anything. All went dark and quiet, and then colour floated back, leaving the Tree as a plain but pretty brown and green, with the rocks below lit up in lilac.

Lohn exhaled, smiling. “Wow,” he said again.

Redd felt a subtle smile rising, eyes on Lohn. “That was real nice.”

“Yeah, it was.” Lohn turned to look for his friends, but they’d gone, dispersing with the rest of the crowd. He sighed, and looked back up at the Tree. His sideways grin lasted another five, six, seven seconds, but then he swallowed and it dimmed. He seemed to deflate. “Sad that it’s over, ain’t it?”

Redd gave Lohn’s hand a friendly wobble. “We’re comin’ back tomorrow. It’s not over for good.”

“Hm.” Lohn looked down at their held hands, and gently let go, balling up his fist as he went. He rubbed the back of his neck and stepped away, head down, apparently ready to leave.

“Lohn,” Redd called.

Lohn paused and looked back.

Redd stayed where he was, at the base of the Tree, until Lohn came back. There were only a few people left here now; most had moved on. The three-minute light show had been everyone’s grand finale for the night, and now it was time for bed. Night had just about fallen; only the faintest peach and yellow remained on the horizon.

“What’s wrong?” Redd asked, as Lohn stood before him expectantly. “Whatever it is, you tell me. Give me the list. Let me help. Alright? What’s wrong? I know it’s something.”

Lohn huffed. “Besides the divorce? I don’t— I don’t know.” His hands fretted at his sides; he re-rolled his shirtsleeves. “Well, that’s not true. I do know. I just feel... dissatisfied. Empty. Don’t you feel like that? Like you want somethin’ real specific but you can’t figure out how to get it. You’re hungry but nothing tastes right.”

“Everything around here tastes like heaven,” Redd said, but even as a joke it didn’t land. Lohn wasn’t smiling.

“Listen,” Redd said, “I get that you don’t want to hear this right now, but - on Monday? Everything’s all set. You can stay with me as long as you need.”

“I know.”

“I’ll pay for you until you get back on your feet.”

“I know.”

Redd was taken aback by Lohn’s easy acceptance. “You know? I thought you were going to argue with me.”

“Argue?” Lohn gazed up at Redd in consternation. “Why would I fight you? Where else would I go besides to you?”

Redd took a breath, but let it go. He didn’t need to bother questioning; Lohn accepted; that was all they needed. “If you know where you’re staying, why are you so worried? I’ve got your back no matter what, man.”

“I’m not worried.” Lohn shrugged. “Not really. I’m— There’s something missing, Rabbit. From me, from my life. Those two, those Londony people, they got it so easy, and I don’t know where I’m meant to find what they have. We’ve got all these old memories here, from when we stayed last time, and I’m just... I wish we still had that. I wish things kept going the way I thought they were going, back then. I wish—” He touched his forehead, hiding his face from Redd behind his hat brim. “I wish we never lost these eight years. Bein’ older and wiser just feels like we missed out somewhere.”

Redd was at a loss for what to say. So he reached to touch Lohn’s arm, but Lohn stepped back before Redd made it there.

Lohn paused a few feet away, his back turned to Redd. “You’re tryin’ so hard to help me, Rabbit, I know you are. But whatever void Dollywood was meant to fill for me, it’s not working. I know what I need, and I need it real bad, too, but the truth is, I’m not findin’ it in rollercoasters and corn dogs.”

He looked back at Redd over his shoulder. “I spent eight years hopin’ I’d find it with Mama. Married her twice just in case I didn’t try hard enough the first time. But...” He lowered his eyes, lips pressed together in dismay. “What I want was never contained in four walls with a wife and a son, you know? It’s something else.”

Now the floodgates had opened, Lohn spoke freely. “Thing is, Rabbit, I never feel lonely with you. I swear to you that’s true. But there’s a particular kind of lonely I feel all the time, that I don’t think you’re willin’ or able to help me with, not for real. So. I— I think it’s best we get home. That’s all.” He tried to give Redd an assuring smile, but he just looked heartbroken, and Redd could see a shimmer of tears in his eyes by the soft light of the Tree. “Maybe we’ll come back to Dollywood someday and it’ll feel right.”

“Was it the kiss?” Redd asked.

Lohn turned to face him completely now, intrigued.

Redd exhaled. “Is that what you wanted so badly?” His heart tripped, his vision brightening, senses sharpening, on edge as he spoke. “You wanted me to kiss you?”

“Rabbit...” Lohn sighed sharply. “Forget that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“But is that what you want? Romance with me.”

“Rabbit... God, please, man, it doesn’t matter,” Lohn said. “It’s fine. We can just be friends. We’re good like that.”

Redd stepped up close to him, startling Lohn back a step. But Redd snuck up to him again, softly touching the backs of his arms. Redd exhaled slowly, softening inside. He found himself smiling ever so tenderly.

Lohn looked at him, confused. “Rabbit, what are you doing?”

Redd told him, casual-like, “I can kiss you, man.” He shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”

Lohn stared past the aviators and into Redd’s eyes, as if searching for a twinkle of amusement, like Redd was pranking him. “You don’t mean that?”

“I mean it.” Redd tilted his head invitingly. He paused, then said again: “I mean it.”

It registered the second time. Lohn needed to hear it twice.

Lohn’s eyes dipped to Redd’s mouth, and his own lips parted, already wanting.

Redd slowly stroked up Lohn’s biceps, and took him around his back, easing him close, just enough that there was no question of what was about to happen, but not enough that he’d be trapped if he changed his mind.

He didn’t change his mind.

Lohn shut his eyes, Redd shut his, and they nudged up together, blindly bumping lip-to-lip, nose-to-nose, testing but not fully touching. Lohn’s breath shivered hot and loud on Redd’s lips.

Slowly Lohn’s hands took hold of Redd’s shoulder and neck, and a wanton whimper escaped Lohn’s mouth - and all at once, they were kissing, liplocked, pushing gingerly, then firmly, holding tight.

Giving a hum of relief, Lohn melted in Redd’s hands, and Redd doubled his pressure on Lohn’s back to keep him in place, then he pulled him nearer until their fronts were completely flush. Lohn rose to the highest tiptoe he could reach, and Redd craned his neck to kiss harder, deeper, heart galloping the whole time.

Lohn broke the kiss to pant, fingers grappling with Redd’s suede collar, lips shaking. “Oh,” he breathed. “You did mean it.”

“I only want to make you happy, man,” Redd promised him. He kissed Lohn’s plump lips again: just a sweet peck, too full of affection to resist. “You don’t even know how much I want that. I want to see you smilin’ every day, for whatever reason.”

Although it began shakily, a hopeful grin spread across Lohn’s face.

Redd smiled into another kiss, this one toothy with smiles. His hands slid around Lohn’s waist and cuddled him close. Someone wolf-whistled in the distance, and a woman laughed nearby.

Lohn was trembling when Redd finally let him go. He looked dazed and dazzled, aglow in the rainbow lights of Dolly Parton’s magical wonderland.

The courtyard was almost empty; only Dolly Parton’s Tree had truly witnessed their kiss, or at least paid close attention. Redd felt secure in the knowledge that from a distance Lohn looked like a woman, with his slim frame, skinny jeans, and shoulder-length hair. People wouldn’t bother them.

“Wh—” Lohn panted, carefully leaning back from Redd. “What happens on Monday?” he asked.

Redd shrugged. “You move in with me.”

“Like old times,” Lohn replied. He nodded, untensing a bit.

Redd was about to say yes, but stopped himself. “No.” Inhaling, he straightened up, emboldened by all this. He squeezed Lohn’s hand. “Like new times, man. New memories. New... versions of us. We’re not trying to pick up where we left off back then. We’ll go from here. We are older and wiser, whether you believe it or not.” Redd took a breath, and used it to speak. “For one thing... I wisened up enough to know I can’t let you go this time. And I won’t. I’ll stick by you for all the time we’ve got left, if that’s what you want.”

That made Lohn smile in a relaxed sort of way. Then that smile burst into a grin, and he ducked his head, bashful. “Yeah.” He nodded.

Redd was so utterly charmed by him. “Come on,” he said, winding an arm around Lohn’s shoulders, and pulling out his phone with his other hand. “Let’s start makin’ memories. Right now.”

Lohn looked at Redd in delight, then posed for a photo with a massive wonky grin, showing his crooked teeth.

In the next photo, Lohn hugged Redd’s middle, making eyes at the camera.

The third one, he tugged on Redd’s beard with a finger and thumb, making Redd look at him. And Lohn gave him a kiss, without so much as a flinch from either of them.

Redd relaxed into it, and only remembered when Lohn started to pull away that he was meant to take photos.

The best one was taken just as their lips parted; their eyes met, and there was no denying that Lohn was doing better already. That smile wasn’t going anywhere now, not if Redd had anything to do with it. Lohn had lit up from the inside out, and still looked relieved.

“Tomorrow,” Redd told Lohn, tucking away his phone, “you and me are coming back here, and we’re having the best day of our lives.”

Lohn looked up at Dolly Parton’s beautiful butterflies, then at Redd, with the same amount of love in his eyes for both. He nodded. “It’ll be just as good as I remember.”

“Better,” Redd told him.

“Better,” Lohn agreed.