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Han Joon-hwi froze, his spoon dangling in mid-air. Something in his brain clicked. There was a burst of light, so dazzling that he wasn’t sure where — or even who — he was for several seconds.
Then, the fog cleared, and sounds began filtering through his brain once more.
Joon-hwi could make out the clatter of silverware. The clinking of glass and ceramic. The medley of voices saturating the room. An occasional laugh. A chair scraping across the cold marble floor as someone stood up.
And, finally, the sound that sent his heart leaping in his chest: dexterous hands moving gracefully against a set of guitar strings in a steady, lively rhythm.
He heard a sigh. The sound turned his mouth dry all of a sudden. An overwhelming desire to bolt out of the room enveloped him.
“Oh, I love this song!”
Words seemed to fail him. Joon-hwi watched, tongue-tied, as Kang Sol rested her chin on the palm of her hand, eyelids fluttering shut as she lost herself in the music. It was coming from a group of middle-aged men serenading a couple seated a few tables away. Sol smiled, and his gaze followed the movement of her lips. Under the wash of candle light, her face glowed like the morning sun breaking into the stillness of dawn. He found himself unable to tear his eyes off her. At that moment, Joon-hwi could swear the air around them felt thinner.
How could she just sit there and smile and steal all of his breath away?
“What’s this song called again? Joonhwi-ah?”
She was calling his attention. His brain had conjured a response, but for the life of him not a single word was coming out of his lips. If it wasn’t a voluntary function, he would probably forget how to breathe, too. A hand reached out from across the table, and he blinked as she waved it in front of him.
“Hello? Earth to Han Joon-hwi?”
Joon-hwi lifted his gaze to meet hers, and his heart began pounding more furiously. There was a hint of concern in her eyes. At the other table, the music continued to play.
“Sorry,” he managed to mumble. He felt light-headed. He needed a place to gather his thoughts — somewhere more quiet, away from this treacherous music and away from the full weight of her presence. “What were you saying?”
“I was telling you about my decision to forgo worldly pleasures and go live in a convent as a nun. What do you think?”
“You have my full support.”
Sol snorted. “I asked if you knew what this song is called.”
“Oh.” Heat rushed to his face. “‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.’”
It was the title of the song, he had to remind himself. And yet… Why did the words fall from his lips like a confession?
“Are you okay?” Sol asked, brow slightly furrowed.
Joon-hwi cleared his throat, taking a large gulp of water. “Never felt better,” he lied. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, you’re looking at me weirdly. Is there something wrong with my face?”
“Other than your face?”
“Joon-hwi.”
Panic building inside him, he blurted out, “You — er — there’s lipstick on your teeth.”
“What? And you didn’t say anything until now?”
Sol was momentarily distracted as she inspected her reflection in the back of her spoon, and Joon-hwi released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He needed to get a grip on himself. What the hell had gotten into him? It was unlike him to be so scatterbrained and awkward around Sol. Perhaps there was something in that ridiculously expensive steak…
Yes, that was it. The steak.
Just then, three men appeared at their table. It was the musicians from earlier.
“My, what a lovely couple we have here,” the one in the middle remarked, eyes twinkling. “You have a very beautiful wife,” he said to Joon-hwi.
“He’s not my husband,” Sol hastily said, at the same time that Joon-hwi exclaimed, a little too loudly, “She’s not my wife!”
“Boyfriend, then? Girlfriend?”
Joon-hwi nearly choked, and stammered, “We’re not… we’re not together. I mean, we’re together — but not together, if you know what I mean—”
Sol, God bless her, took pity on him. “Joon-hwi and I are friends,” she told them, managing a small smile.
The man holding a cello shot the two of them a skeptical look.
“So, the two of you are together… having a dinner by candle light… in a romantic place like this… and you’re just friends?” It sounded like an exam question no one, not even a Second Round Judicial Exam Passer like Han Joon-hwi, would ever get right.
Sol quickly rose to the defensive. “Well, ahjussi, it’s a long story — you see, I’m a defense attorney by profession. A few weeks ago, my friend here promised to treat me to a meal if I won this really big, really important defamation case—”
“For your information, what I had in mind was getting tteokbokki from that place you like so much,” Joon-hwi interrupted.
She scrunched her nose in distaste. “Girls must be lining up to date you, huh.”
Her quip was met with a roll of his eyes. “Excuse me. I didn’t hear you complaining back when the two of us were practically living off the ramyeon we stole from the secret stash of food under Ji-ho’s bed.”
“Back in those days, you didn’t have the salary grade of a prosecutor with ten years of professional experience.”
“Money,” Joon-hwi gave an exaggerated gasp, clutching at a stitch in his chest in dramatic fashion. “That’s all I’m worth to you, isn’t it? Free food and a ride home.”
Her smile was sugary-sweet. “And yet,” Sol said, “you love me, anyway.”
The effect of her words was instantaneous. Joon-hwi’s spoon clattered to the floor as he stiffened, staring at her with both eyes wide. Panic. That was the emotion welling inside him.
Love.
The truth came barreling into him like a massive truck spinning out of control. He was aware of everyone’s eyes on him, all of them wondering if he had gone insane. Perhaps he had. It was the only explanation.
Insanity. Only insanity could explain the racing of his heart, his shortness of breath, and the all-consuming desire to tell her everything.
Joon-hwi avoided meeting her gaze. He was afraid of what he’d find. He was afraid that Sol had figured out what was going on in his head and was preparing, even now, to run. To put as much distance between them as possible. To leave him far, far behind where he belonged. Surely that was on her mind.
His foot tapped restlessly on the floor. Fight or flight. All his life Joon-hwi believed he was more of a ‘fight’ kind of person. Right now, however, it was hard to resist the alternative.
But then a hand closed around his own — soft, warm, and delicate. At her touch, his heart stilled.
Sol did not give any indication that she knew what was causing his strange behavior. And if he thought it was strange, she had to as well. No one on earth knew him better than Kang Sol. Not even, well, himself.
Squeezing his hand, Sol eyed him with uncertainty. “Joonhwi-ah, are you sure you’re okay?” She chewed her lip. “Did I cross a line?”
Joon-hwi tried not to focus on the image of her teeth grazing against her lower lip. For some reason, it was making his brain short-circuit.
“Sorry,” he said, smiling through his panic, “it must be the steak. Overpriced food gives me indigestion.”
“Aigoo.” Sol released her lip, to his immense relief, worry replaced with a petulant pout. “You are such a cheapskate, Han Joon-hwi.”
Suddenly, Joon-hwi remembered that they were not, in fact, alone. Their friends often complained that he and Sol tended to lose themselves in their bantering and not-so-subtle flirting (Your definition of ‘flirting’ is an embarrassment and a crime against humanity, Ji-ho would tell him). This time, it was the three musicians from the restaurant, all of whom were watching their verbal sparring with mingled confusion and amusement.
“Normally, we perform songs upon request,” the one in front of Joon-hwi said, smiling, “but for the two of you — we have just the song.”
Then he began to sing.
(When I Met You — Apo Hiking Society)
There I was, an empty piece of a shell
Just minding my own world
Without even knowing what love and life were all about
Without meaning to, Joon-hwi’s gaze drifted to Sol.
Like most adult friendships, meeting each other was a rare occurrence that was possible only when the planets aligned — or, at least, when their schedules permitted it. The last five months had kept Sol busy with a huge defamation case that, if she won, spelled out a partnership in the law firm where she’d been working since passing the bar. He was the first person she called the exact moment she got the promotion.
When Sol waltzed into the restaurant, long, brown hair flying behind her as she abandoned all decorum and ran excitedly towards him, a thought nagged at Joon-hwi — something was different.
Not the promotion, no. Something else.
Yet he couldn’t quite put a finger on what exactly was different about Kang Sol. Had she grown taller? Was it because she grew her hair longer than the last time? Was she wearing a different shade of lipstick? Joon-hwi found his gaze gravitating towards her every now and then, seeking answers. But they evaded him each time.
Then you came
You brought me out of the shell
You gave the world to me
And before I knew
There I was, so in love with you
At one point, he excused himself to answer a call from his boss. When he returned, the restaurant was buzzing with live music. Sol was engrossed in the performance, one hand absentmindedly trying to spear a piece of her rib-eye steak but missing by several inches. Joon-hwi remembered chuckling at that instance, and he’d opened his mouth to tease her. Until a single, innocent thought flitted through his mind.
God, I love her.
The sound of his chair scraping against the floor had alerted Sol, and the unfortunate steak soon found itself impaled on Sol’s belligerent fork. But it was too late for Joon-hwi. Everything in his world slammed to a screeching halt and he, Han Joon-hwi, found his answer — he was in love with his best friend.
You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I'm feeling
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I've gone beyond existing
And it all began when I met you
Her eyes met his, and his heart lodged itself in his throat.
Sol was swaying her head to the music, eyes crinkling as she did so.
Best day ever, she mouthed to him.
That was when Joon-hwi knew. Perhaps, he had known all along but never cared to admit it until now. But he knew, with absolute certainty, that he loved Sol.
Unequivocally.
The realization should have felt heavy. Earth-shattering. The crushing weight of all these emotions crashing down upon him all at once should be rendering him paralyzed.
But Joon-hwi felt none of these things.
Rather, it was as though a heavy burden had been lifted. He was in love with Sol. Kang Sol. His best friend. There was a Latin saying that went, ‘Veritas liberabit vos.’ In English: ‘The truth shall set you free.’ And it was true. Joon-hwi can’t recall ever feeling as free as he did at that moment. He was in love with his best friend.
Before he knew it, the song had reached its end.
“Sol, I—”
“Ahjussi, that was so beautiful!” Sol beamed. She appeared not to have heard Joon-hwi. “What’s the song called?”
One of the men sent a knowing look in Joon-hwi’s direction. “‘When I Met You.’” He winked.
Joon-hwi had never tipped anyone so well in his life.
Just as the two of them were about to leave the restaurant, the sky chose that exact moment to split open and drench their surroundings with rain.
He heard Sol groan. “Great. I left my umbrella at the office,” she lamented.
He, too, had left his umbrella in his car, which was parked about two blocks from where they stood. Overpriced steak and a non-existent parking space. That was the last time he was ever going to trust Sol to pick out a restaurant.
“You can take my coat,” Joon-hwi offered, but Sol shook her head.
“No. You’re appearing in court tomorrow. Right? We can’t risk you getting sick.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Sol snorted. “Oh, please. You have the immune system of an 80-year-old man, Han Joon-hwi. If you get drenched in this downpour, you’ll catch a cold and end up lying in bed the whole day.”
Grimacing, Joon-hwi folded his arms, setting his jaw stubbornly as he rebutted, “Well, what do you propose we do then?” He flinched as a crack of thunder rumbled against the dark-gray skies. “It doesn't look like the rain is gonna stop anytime soon.”
“We could build a country of our own right at this very spot.”
“Pass.”
“It’ll be fun,” Sol insisted. “I’ll be Madame President. You’ll be my bodyguard.”
Joon-hwi let out a resigned sigh.
“Okay, fine. I’ll promote you to Chief of Security,” Sol added. “What are you doing?” He shrugged off his coat and held it above their heads.
“We’ll make a run for it.”
She pursed her lips, expression doubtful. “Will we both fit under your coat?”
“The laws of physics would say otherwise.”
“Then your plan is ridiculous.”
“It’s still better than doing nothing.”
“We wouldn’t be doing nothing. We’d be building the Republic of SolHwi — get it? ‘Sol’ plus ‘Joon-hwi?’” She winked. “Universal health care will be a reality for all. Eat the rich. Free Cheetos for everyone.”
“I’m leaving,” he deadpanned. “I’ll come back for you when you’re sane.”
She let out a crestfallen sigh. “Does the idea of me running a country truly repulse you?”
“Man cannot live by Cheetos alone, Kang Sol.”
“Then, by the powers vested in me, I hereby appoint you my Minister for Labor, Health, and Welfare.”
A huff of laughter betrayed his stoic façade. Grinning triumphantly, Sol wove an arm around his shoulder, pulling her body flush to his side, and his heart began to race. It was hard to believe that everything could change so quickly. Once, Joon-hwi would not have batted an eye at such an innocent act — now, however, the feel of her and the familiar strawberry scent of her shampoo stole all the breath he had in his lungs.
“Stay close to me,” Joon-hwi breathed out.
Above them, rain fell without mercy.
His coat was hardly enough to cover both of them as they pushed their legs as fast as they could, their shoes splashing against the little puddles of water scattered all around the block. By the time they made it past two blocks, the sleeve of his shirt had become soaked. They slinked into his car, panting. Sol shook water out of her shoes, but was otherwise dry.
“Aw, man.” Face twisting with dismay, she set a hand on the dampness on his sleeve. “Now you’re all wet. You’re going to get sick.”
Joon-hwi was freezing but her touch was fire on his skin. “I’ll be fine,” he tried reassuring her, but his voice came out weak.
“Aish. You always say that,” Sol scowled, “even when you’re not.”
“You nag too much.” But he was smiling.
“I don’t nag you enough, apparently.”
“Sol.”
“Hm?”
“I like you — no, scratch that. I love you.” Sol’s eyes widened, but Joon-hwi could not stop. If he did, the moment might pass and he would never get to tell her how he truly felt. “I think I’ve loved you for the longest time. But I’m an idiot who can’t see the truth when it’s right in front of him.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “I love you, Kang Sol. You… you came into my life like a gift. If you’ll have me, I want to stay by your side and make you as happy as you’ve made me these past thirteen years.”
Silence hung between them, heavy and crushing.
Then—
“You love me,” Sol repeated, voice flat.
Joon-hwi nodded. “Yes.”
“You, Han Joon-hwi.”
“Yes. Me.”
“In love. With me.”
“That’s right.”
Her eyes began to glisten with unshed tears, and Joon-hwi panicked.
“Sol, I — ouch!” He yelped as she smacked his arm without warning. “What was that for?”
“For being an idiot.” Her voice cracked. Sol sniffed, tears spilling onto her cheeks.
“I’m so confused right now,” Joon-hwi said, fishing out a damp handkerchief from his jean pockets and dabbing them on her face. “Are those angry tears, sad tears, or happy tears?”
“All of them!”
“Why are there tears in the first place?”
She drew back and gave him a look. “Seriously. Why are men?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Did you mean it?” Sol asked, chewing her lip.
“Of — of course, I did.” Once again, Joon-hwi found himself arrested by the sight of her mouth. Damn it. She had got to stop doing that. He cleared his throat. “Sol, I meant every word. I love you. I’ve loved you for thirteen years. I’ll love you with everything that I have for many more, if you’ll let me.”
“Ack — stop that.” Her hands flew to her face. “Oh, my God.”
He felt something twinge in his chest. “If there’s someone else—”
“Someone else?” Sol dropped her hands and stared daggers at him. “Don’t you get it? There is no one else, you idiot. There never has been. It’s… it’s you.” Her face softened. “It’s always been you, Joonhwi-ah.”
His heart leapt. He wondered if all this was a dream. If it was, then he sincerely hoped he would never wake up.
Joon-hwi drew closer to her, thumb caressing her cheek as he whispered, “Always?”
“I was afraid you didn’t feel the same way.” He shook his head, then Sol added, “And if you did, I was afraid that starting something was going to ruin this great thing we have together. I still am.”
“Me, too,” he confessed. “But what scares me even more is the thought of not being with you. I’m more scared of living in a world without you in it, because you mean the world to me, Kang Sol. As long as my heart is beating, it’s yours completely.”
Sol groaned. “Jesus. Seriously, Joon-hwi.” She hung her head and buried her face in her hands. “I’m not used to you talking like… well, like this.”
“Hang on — are you blushing?”
“Shut up.”
“You are,” Joon-hwi laughed, which earned him another smack on the arm. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”
“I hate you.”
“Well, I love you.”
Her face was beet-red. “Ugh, this is so embarrassing.”
“What would you rather I do, then?”
Then she was kissing him. Her lips were soft and warm on his, and everything fell into place.
“I spoke too soon,” Sol whispered when they pulled away, foreheads touching and lips only inches apart. “Now, it’s the best day ever.”
Joon-hwi kissed her again.
The sky cleared and the rain fell into a hush, and they were still kissing.
Fin.