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Breathing like this was harder, but it was also easier.
Her arms were folded tightly across her chest, which rose and fell in shallow waves. The thin, almost delicate ropes that held them there also restricted her breathing, just the slightest bit – not nearly enough to be or feel dangerous, but just enough to be noticeable. It made her focus on it, on the intake of breath, the brief moment the breath was held in the lungs, and the slow exhalation. In this state, she was forced to relax.
And relax she did. Here, and now, bound tightly and blindfolded, all of the other pressures of the world – school, grades, fighting Kishin, her father's irritating behavior – it all vanished. She could feel the tension in her shoulders easing away as she lay there, something that would be helped later when her partner would massage her after undoing the complex system of knots he had practiced for her, again and again.
It had started with a book, and a brief trawl of an online discussion board. A few quick links to different psychological studies. One or two experts who were willing to answer the questions of an anonymous newbie. And then, finally, an awkward question.
“Wait, what?” Soul had looked rather confused. “You want me to do what to you?”
She'd explained, patiently and as calmly as she could. Her grades had been suffering, and she hadn't been sleeping well. Every day it seemed like every muscle in her body was being drawn tighter, more tense, until they were ready to snap. It made her twitchy in class and irritable outside of it. Sometimes she could feel her heart pounding in her chest and her hands shaking. Something had to be done.
“And... and I think this will help,” she'd said. “There's been some research and it works just like any other relaxation technique. Some people say it works better but there's nothing conclusive but I really want to give it a try because nothing else seems to be working and... and....” She trailed off, staring at the ground, at her gloves, at anything but her Weapon partner. “Just... please? This once. If it doesn't help we don't have to talk about it ever again.”
“Maka....” Soul was conflicted. Yeah, she was asking him to tie her up. That was just plain weird. He'd heard of people who liked that but it also seemed to come with whips and collars and things he didn't want to think about. Probably things that Blair would like, to be quite honest. But on the other hand, this was all she was asking. Just some “ropework.” Nothing sexual; the only things she'd be taking off were her shoes. She'd explained the theory that it would force her to stay still, force her into a trance, something like that. If nothing else was working....
And then there was the fact that she was his damn partner. She trusted him and he trusted her.
“Alright, fine,” he said. “It's not like it'll be that weird, right?” He chuckled half-heartedly. “And think about it this way: now you're literally putting yourself in my hands instead of the other way around.”
That had been over a month ago, and now they were on their sixth session. Soul watched his partner's chest rise and fall peacefully. It really worked for her, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Maybe he didn't need to be sure; she certainly felt secure enough to do this. Now her head was resting in his lap as they both reclined on her bed (it was the most comfortable place in the apartment, dammit, and she felt the safest there, so any other interpretations of this scene were null and void, Soul told himself).
Trying not to jostle Maka, Soul checked the knots he'd tied. Everything seemed just fine. This stuff was certainly good quality. Soft to the touch, easy to tie. It had been a little present from Blair, who in an uncharacteristic display of tact had left it in a gift-wrapped box, with a note saying that she'd overheard the conversation and wanted them to stay as safe as possible. There was a book along with it, filled with surprisingly technical illustrations – hardly the borderline-pornographic stuff he had expected it to be. Finally, she'd included a small, sharp knife to cut lengths with, and for emergencies. Somehow, the whole kit was reassuring.
He ran down his mental checklist. Wrists: secure, not too tight. Ankles: same. Knees: secured with an elegant bow. Some part of him was secretly proud of how good that one looked; it had been a tricky knot. Chest harness: a knot at the back was loosening, but that was okay. One quick tug and Maka would be mostly freed, in case of an emergency. One last check.
“Hey,” he said softly, leaning down towards his partner. “You still with me?”
Maka let out a soft murmur. Something indistinct. Hm. Time to pull her out of it, he thought.
“Alright, I'm going to untie you, okay?”
The same murmur. Yeah, definitely time to bring her back.
Gently, he propped her upright so that he could get at the loose knot. The ropes came away easily, like unzipping an overcoat. Next, her wrists were freed, and they fell limply to her sides. Then the knees, then her ankles, then, finally, off came the blindfold.
Maka's eyes were closed underneath the cloth, which worried Soul a bit. She'd never been in a trance quite this deep before. Staying calm was a priority, though. No sense making a fuss and undoing the relaxation by making her panic. He drew her into a close, secure hug, whispering her name until she stirred a bit.
“Hey there,” he said, recognizing the signs of a returning Maka. “You alright?”
Maka nodded. Her brain had not quite caught back up with her body. But that was okay. She felt fine. In fact, she felt good.
“Still coming back?”
Another nod. If nothing else, these were the moments she waited for. The fringe of being here and being elsewhere; her mind off wandering some peaceful place while her body lay there, held securely by the single person in the universe she fully trusted. It was like the lazy mornings where she would lie in bed, not fully awake, but not totally asleep, and had the freedom to decide whether to get up or not. Only this felt... more.
It felt complete.
After a few minutes, she drew in a deep breath. Yes, she was back. And she felt better than ever. Slowly, she opened her eyes, to see Soul watching her with barely-hidden concern.
“Hey,” she mumbled.
“Hey,” he replied, smiling softly.
Rolling a bit so she could bury her head in his chest, she said, “Thank you.”
“Don't worry about it. That's what partners are for, right?”
“Mmm. Yeah. Still. Thank you.”
“It's no problem, really.”
“I know you worry about me.”
“That's what partners are for, too.”
Maka chuckled. “Yeah, I guess. It's nice to not be the one to worry for a change.”
“Kinda figured.”
Smiling and stretching, Maka sat up. “Okay. I think I'm ready for that massage now.”
“Hm?” Soul had looked distracted. “Oh, right. Yeah. No problem. Just the shoulder rub, right?”
Maka nodded. Maybe someday, something more. But for now, this was perfect.
She took a breath. It felt good to breathe.