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Oh god, my head hurts. Jerma looks in the medicine cabinet after a long day of streaming to try to stumble upon something, anything, that would help to rid him of his pounding headache. It seems that he recently ran out of Tylenol and didn’t get a chance to pick anymore up, given how busy he was lately.
Between setting up for the baseball stream and making sure to have consistent streams for his viewers, his life was just too hectic to remember to get any medicine. He had to prep all the baseballs he was going to use for the big stream which definitely took some time. A lot of time. He did have more time, however, to go to Whole Foods and pick up some groceries. He had to make sure his meals were of the utmost quality after all. Just not enough to get any medication.
Too bad the headache was worsening though, and Jerma didn’t really want to deal with the grocery store and the people and the lines. It just seemed like it would have worsened his condition in the end. He figured it was probably best to head to the urgent care and get his condition looked at. Maybe they can even give me some medication, heh. It was like killing two birds with one stone, or so he would think.
Without thinking about it any harder, Jerma thought it best to go right away rather than sit around and end up getting carried away in his iPad mobile games. He knew that once he sat down, then the time would pass almost instantly, and it’d already be time to go to sleep before he knew it.
The drive to the urgent care wasn’t too long or tumultuous, just a casual drive as usual. The parking lot for the building wasn’t even necessarily packed either, which meant that it was possible that he’d be in and out in no time. More time to watch Cathy Mitchell. Jerma got checked in and it seemed like it was a slower day, given how empty the lobby was.
Once they called his name, it was his time to shine. He first talked to the nurse and answered some brief questions about his condition and seemingly everything was going well. After a few moments of silence and waiting, the doctor finally made his way in. The doctor did not make his presence unknown, though. Anyone could hear the whirring of the rubber on the tile floors from a mile away, and it just so happened that the doctor made his way in while simultaneously getting off a bike he was riding and parking it near the door.
When Jerma first laid his eyes on the doctor, it was like a choir had been singing in his head. This doctor was like a model that happened to stumble into a doctor gig. This guy was utterly handsome, and just that word alone could not describe how attractive that man was. He was six feet tall, incredibly fit, had smooth and glowing skin, long flowing hair, and walked like he owned the place. That man was oozing charisma and handsomeness that not even Jerma could look away from. They even locked eyes for a moment, and Jerma felt his own face burning up a little from that interaction alone. The doctor even was so casual that he was wearing cycling shorts with a lab coat. There was no way that was proper dress code but because the doctor was so handsome, everyone probably just let it slide.
“Well, you see here, Jeremy, we’re going to need to run some bloodwork to see what the cause of all this is,” the doctor spoke in such a confident and charismatic tone. His voice had a mature and sultry undertone to it too. Jerma only could stare at the doctor, a bewildered look surely smeared across his face, and nodded absent-mindedly.
“Uh, yeah, yeah. Let’s do that,” was all Jerma could say in response. He was playing with his own hands at this point, trying not to be too obvious when he stared at the doctor.
After they had gotten all the bloodwork done, which Jerma wishes was done by the doctor himself and not a nurse, it only took a short while for the results to come in. Jerma was almost jumping with glee when he heard the bike making its way down the hallways again. The doctor clearly never would give up his athleticism if even for a moment. It just made him even more remarkable.
When the doctor came into the room once again, his perfect skin was glistening with sweat. It complemented his complexion so nicely. He wasn’t even red or breathless, he just had the perfect amount of sweat to make his skin glow. Jerma coughed nervously at the sight of the doctor.
The doctor took off his bike helmet while making his way towards Jerma and the locks of hair just flowed out so freely and planted perfectly into place along his head. There was no such thing as helmet hair, it seemed, when it came to this man. He was just the epitome of being one of God’s favorites.
“So, uh, it seems that your cholesterol is a little higher than normal. We figured that’s most likely the cause of your headaches, Jeremy…”
Jeremy. Say my name again, please. I need to hear you say it again. Jerma was sweating himself now. But it wasn’t from being a pro cyclist and riding a bike in a hospital, but just from being within the presence of someone so handsome.
“We’re going to prescribe you some medication to help you out… but uh… I must say it is a bit unconventional from the normal medications you might have tried.” Jerma couldn’t help but notice that there was a bulge in the doctor’s coat pocket. He didn’t notice that before, surely because he couldn’t stop staring at the doctor’s face.
“Hey, uh, what do you mean unconventional?” Jerma had asked, not thinking too much of it but curious, nonetheless.
Without a moment wasted, the doctor smiled. It was a Hollywood smile, that’s for sure. “Heh, glad you asked Jeremy…” He said my name again. Oh my god. Nobody move. Nobody fucking MOVE! Jerma was barely paying attention now, feeling like he just got noticed by a movie star out of everyone else in a crowd.
The doctor had to call out to Jerma since he noticed he began to space out. He cleared his throat loudly. “Jeremy, is everything alright? I can’t help but notice you seem out of it.”
Fuck. “Oh, yes, uh.. hello doctor. I’m ready for the medication now, sorry.” He was blinking like a maniac and couldn’t control himself at all. Fidgeting around and shaking his body like he was convulsing.
At this moment, the doctor pulled out whatever was in his coat pocket. It turned out to be… a bug!? It was a cricket of some sort, but not alive. A dried cricket. “You see here, Jeremy, this is what I want you to take to help alleviate some of those headaches.” The doctor took a bite of the insect like it was a potato chip. Somehow there was grace and elegance in the way he bit into a dried bug that was in his pocket.
“Oh. Wow. That’s uh… you just got those in your pocket,” Jerma stammered, in complete shock that this was a real scenario that was happening to him.
“Yeah, and you see I haven’t had a headache myself in a very long time by the way. It’s thanks to this bug diet that I’ve gotten where I am. I should let you know… I’m 60.”
Sixty years old. This doctor looked like he had to be in his early twenties. There was no way he just looked like that at the age of sixty. It didn’t make Jerma any less enamored by his appearance, though. In fact, it only bolstered that attraction. Who said a sixty year old man couldn’t be captivating to a thirty seven year old man? These bugs had to be the secret to everything there is to life, it was the only logical explanation!
“Okay, so what you’re saying is… these bugs will help me then, doc.” Jerma couldn’t even believe he was considering eating bugs from a doctor that just happened to be one of the most handsomest people he’s ever seen.
“Yes, and I’ll tell you what. Why don’t we go and eat some bugs together, huh? I’m sure you’d find the experience to be most pleasant.” He can’t be serious, right? What is he implying?
“T-together…? You mean like you and me?” Jerma was probably covered in sweat at this point.
The doctor stepped in closer to Jerma, right up to his face. “Of course. What do you say?” The doctor pulled out another bug from his pocket and gestured for Jerma to take a bite.
“I… I guess I’d uh…” Jerma swallowed hard. “I’d like that...” There was a brief moment of silence. Can this really be happening right now?
The doctor grinned and grabbed Jerma’s hand and opened it up to reveal his sweaty palm. He placed the half-eaten bug into his hand and closed it into a fist. “Here, take this as a gift from me, then. How about you come over later, then?” He slipped a loose slip of paper into Jerma’s pants pocket and backed away slowly. “I’m 60, by the way. Just needed to remind you.”
After a while, it was finally time for Jerma to go home. He held onto the bug in his hand but didn’t dare to take a bite just yet. He wanted to just be in the comfort of his own home before he could even begin to muster up the courage to take on such a daring act.
Once he got home, he basically lost his mind. He almost considered streaming the whole endeavor, but he knew chat would never let it go. They still referenced his tweet from 2017 about him accidentally swallowing a bug, after all. Chat would probably just bring up the tweet I made 8 or so years ago about this, so I shouldn’t bother.
It took a bit of hyping himself up, but he finally just decided to do it. Jerma took a big bite out of the dried cricket that the doctor had given him. Turns out that it wasn’t even that bad. In fact, it had some sort of seasoning on it that was unrecognizable to him. Perhaps some sort of slime that the bug produced was the seasoning… or something else?
Jerma pulled out the slip of paper that he had gotten earlier. Jeez, what can’t this doctor do? The handwriting was immaculate, totally opposite from what a typical doctor’s handwriting would look like. It was clearly legible and it looked like it was printed from a document with how neat it looked. He examined the words carefully and put the address into the GPS. He was going to take the leap of faith.
It was nerve-wracking when Jerma first arrived at the doctor’s house, but surely nothing could have gone wrong, right? Sure, this was a total violation of HIPAA, but it seemed that the doctor was so immune to any sorts of consequences in his life that this didn’t even put a dent into anything.
Jerma walked up to the house and knocked on the door, hoping that this was just a prank and that he could just walk away with no harm done but a bit of embarrassment. It wasn’t that long though, before the doctor was the one answering the door.
He didn’t have his lab coat on anymore, but he still wore cycling shorts and a tight t-shirt. So tight his pectorals were really sticking out and all the musculature in his body was popping out as if the shirt didn’t even exist at all. His muscles were bulging in all the right ways.
Jerma gulped. “So… uh… wanna tell me more about those bugs?” He looked so small compared to the doctor. There was no way that the doctor was only 6’0, as them standing right by each other just made Jerma look miniature.
The doctor ushered Jerma inside with a smile of delight. “Of course, come on in Jeremy.”
Upon entering the house, Jerma noticed just how spectacular it was. Of course, the doctor had been making good money in his profession, but he really knew how to spend it effectively. The house was gorgeous, but it did seem like the doctor lived alone.
“Just you living here?” Jerma asked.
“Yep, just me. But now, you’re here too.”
After a bit of walking around, they finally got settled into the living room. The doctor had brought in a plate of bugs for the both of them, and turned on the television. Jerma just sat there nervously. The doctor offered a delectable insect to Jerma, and Jerma took it without a second of delay. He bit into it, and the crunch sound was a lot louder this time around. Fresh.
They spent their time watching a horror movie with jumpscares at seemingly every turn. Every time Jerma got scared, the doctor put his arm around him. It always felt nice to Jerma to feel that. They were sitting awfully close at this point too, and it seemed like anything could happen at any time.
After consuming plates of bugs, they both sort of fell into a ‘bug coma’, where they couldn’t eat anymore at all. Jerma felt energized, almost as if this bug diet was something that shouldn’t be taken so lightly. Throughout the night, they had been chatting away and laughing a bunch. Jerma did some of his silly bits and told some of his outrageous stories. The doctor found them all amusing, and even complimented Jerma on how funny he was. Jerma blushed at that.
As the night was winding down, they found themselves having more quiet moments. Just sitting there without really anything going on… awfully close to each other. Well, it seems that one thing eventually led to another and they invoked a night of passion in the end. Turns out, it wasn’t all in Jerma’s head after all. They had gone on to become very well-acquainted after that.
Time went on, and they essentially became an undefeatable pair. A mundane afternoon at the doctor’s office had turned into a lifetime romantic relationship to Jerma. He even came up with rituals with bug eating, where he would consume an entire satchel of insects to win in the casino or to expand his gaming skills. Although there was no scientific evidence to back it up, he did do exponentially better whenever he consumed bugs. It was all thanks to his new lover, the handsome sixty-year-old doctor, that any of these things could have happened in the first place.
Turns out though, something happens in the future involving a meat grinder. No one really knows what happened to the pair after that moment. Jerma never really mentioned the doctor again in his streams anymore and he just went on carrying on as normal. It was as if he never had a lover that introduced him to bug eating, and that he just made that all up in an attempt to seem normal. No one could really say for sure, though, as some of the experiences seemed to have lined up to reality.
To this day, Jerma carries a satchel of bugs around wherever he goes and often eats them in front of other people with no hesitation or concern. People tend to look at him as if he is just a strange and deranged man, but this doesn’t bother him. For it is he who consumes the bugs that gets to have the last laugh in the end, anyway.
FIN