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“After we leave this room, we will never speak of this again, Do you understand me Shoto?” Enji declared, clutching the door knob. “Yes, Dad..” Todoroki muttered through sniffles, hot tears streaming down his face. Shoto Todoroki always knew he was different from the rest of his friends and family. Other than the obvious burns his mother caused that life-changing day, and the pathetic excuse of a relationship he had with the rest of the family, Todoroki was different in other ways, more complex ways… Shoto Todoroki is gay. Todoroki realized he was gay when he was young, but never said anything. The last thing the Todoroki family needed was a gay son. For years he felt ashamed of his sexuality, so he isolated himself, letting the cold from his quirk slowly seep into his personality until no one wanted to talk to him, so he wouldn't have to open up.
That was until he met Katsuki Bakugo.
Bakugo, from the day they met, never treated Todoroki differently as everyone else did. Even his own family treated him differently because of his scars, even though they knew how he got them. It was the elephant in every room, but Bakugo never mentioned it. He never poked fun at him like other kids, he stood up for Shoto despite not even knowing how he got the burns on his face. Bakugo made Todoroki feel safe. Something Todoroki hadn't felt in years, and as they grew up, Shotos feelings for Bakugo got more complex. Todoroki was in love with Bakugo.
The sound of his bedroom door slamming shut broke Todoroki from his thoughts. The past week of his life has been an emotional rollercoaster. Anger. Sadness. Anxiety. Grief. How could so much go wrong in so little time?
Todoroki didn't plan on telling Bakugo about his feelings this week, or ever really, but some things just slip out like the fiery spit of Bakugos words when he's angry. Todoroki and the rest of Class 1-A know Katsuki never truly means what he says, but that doesn't make the things he says sting any less. Bakugo was going on a rampage when Tororoki and Momo entered the dorms. “It's not my fault, he was in my way!” he screamed as everyone stared at him, the slight thud of the door fitting into the frame the only noise in the room. “What? You're all on his side? The dumb fag had it coming, maybe the slap knocked some sense into him and he’ll finally be normal”
Oh.
Oh…
Todoroki felt his stomach drop as he realized what Bakugo said. Todoroki knew Bakugo didn't always say things he meant, but he knew in his heart that Bakugo meant that. The words echo in his head. Normal. A thing Todoroki has and never will be despite how hard he tries. Tears welled in his eyes and a formed lump in his throat. Todoroki turned and headed toward his room, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with Bakugo. He knows everyone knows why he's leaving. Everyone except Bakugo. Katsuki Bakugo will never realize how much his words hurt, no matter how many times he apologizes. “Where are you going, Icy Hot? Don't tell me you're upset that I said fag ? Christ, no wonder why Endeavor doesn't like you” Anger burned deeply in Todoroki. A kind of anger he never knew he could have for Bakugo. Before he could realize what he was doing, Todoroki turned to face Bakugo, hot tears streaming down his face. “At least I have a Dad, and who cares if I'm upset? You never do, if you did you wouldn't take your anger out on the only people who fucking like you” Todoroki screamed with his fists clenched at his sides, storming out of the room the second the words leave his mouth.
Todoroki's chest fills with regret as he sinks into his bed, tears still running down his cheeks like water. He remembers Bakugos shocked face as he snapped at him, yelling louder than Bakugo ever has. Todoroki knew that despite what happened he could never be mad at Bakugo for too long, but he also knew that Bakugo was not the same. Bakugos cruel words about him echoed up the hall and under the crack of Todorokis bedroom door, filling his ears as he sobbed.
What felt like hours went by before anyone came to check on Todoroki. Bakugos hollering long ended but the words he used never left Shoto's memories. “Shoto? Are you awake?” he heard Ida whisper from outside his door, seconds after knocking. “Yeah,” he croaked, throat hoarse from crying, “you can come in,” he said, sitting up on his bed facing the chair that Ida had turned around to face him. “Are you okay? Do you need to talk?” Ida said, voice soft as if not to wake anyone else up. Todoroki didn't know what time it was but he knew it was late. A tear fell from Shoto’s eye as he spoke to Ida. They talked for hours, and Todoroki opened up about things he never thought he would ever tell anyone. “Todoroki, it's completely okay that your gay, we’re your friends, and we will always support you. I'm sure Bakugo didn't truly mean what he said..” Ida said, but they both knew he wasn't 100% sure about that last part. Todoroki just nodded, not ready to accept the harsh truth.
Todoroki didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke to another knock on his door. “Who is it?” he yawned. “It's me, Icy Hot,” the voice outside the door said. “I just wanted to say I'm sorry, can I come in?” but before Todoroki could say anything Bakugo opened the door. “Hey, I'm sorry for what I-” Bakugo continued but before he could finish his sentence Todoroki laughed, “You don't think I'm going to just accept your apology like every other time, do you?” Bakugo stared at him, stunned. This was the first time Todoroki had ever really stood up for himself during one of Bakugos ‘apologies’. He let Bakugo hurt him so much that standing up for himself felt weird, but Bakugo had never hurt him as much as he did last night. “You hurt me, Katsuki. You hurt me and for some weird reason, I don't feel as mad as I think I should, and I know why. It's because I know no matter what I’ll always love you.” The words came out of Todorokis mouth effortlessly, to the point that Todoroki shocked himself when he realized what he had said. Todoroki knew Bakugo would never feel the same, but he knew deep down he was okay with that. As long as Bakugo was in his life Todoroki was happy, but now Todoroki’s worst nightmare was to come to life. Shoto watched Bakugos face twist, the little hope he had that Ida was right leaving his heart. “You’re…” Bakugo whispered, as if afraid of the word that was to follow. “I'm Gay” the words coming out of his mouth made his heart happy, but not for too long, as Bakugo stormed out of the room without a word, but a disgusted look adorning his face. Tears rolled down his face once again, heart cracked like a dropped porcelain doll. He knew things would turn out this way, so why did he do it? Why did he say the things that drove his best friend away? Why couldn't he just be normal? Days went by before Todoroki saw Bakugo again, but they never spoke. Bakugo would turn away or leave when he saw Shoto enter a room, giving the cold boy an even colder shoulder. It was obvious to everyone that they weren't getting along but only Ida knew the truth.
Unfortunately, Todoroki's broken heart did stop the League of Villains. Attacks on UA and its students continued, and Todoroki had to put his issues away and fight. He secretly hoped that Bakugo would speak to him again during all the fighting. Ask for his help. Come and save the day like a knight in shining armor and tell him that he was sorry, but some dreams never come true. When the explosion happened, it shook the entire city. It shook Todoroki to his core. He knew in his heart something was very wrong. Ida was the first to speak up, everyone else silent with panic. “What was that? Come on, we have to see if everyone's okay!” he started running before the words escaped his mouth, everyone following quickly behind him. “Should we do this? What if we get hurt?” Ururaka asked. “The worst that happens is that we have to fight, what if our friends are hurt?” and for the first time in hours, Todoroki thought of Bakugo. What if Bakugo was hurt? Please don't be hurt. Please.
Flames engulfed nearby buildings and cars, dark smoke filling the sky. Alarms shrilled and people screamed. Two figures were at the end of the road, one standing, one on the ground. “Midorya! Is that you?” Ida called out. As we got closer, we realized what was happening and why one of them was on the ground. Blood flooded the concrete, staining the gray pavement with a red tint. “Bakugo…” Todoroki whispered. “Is he dead?” Ururaka asked, tears flowing down her cheeks as she knelt beside him. “He can't be, go get help!” Todoroki demanded through sobs, “I'm so sorry, Bakugo, don't leave me, stay with me, please."
Tears filled the room as Aizawa told everyone what they were expecting, but were desperate not to hear. “Katsuki Bakugo is dead. I'm sorry” his blank face stained with tears. Never in a million years did Todoroki expect this to be how things ended between them. One dead, one wishing he was so he could speak to the other one last time. The love of his life died hating him.
Bakugo's heart had exploded, and so did Todoroki’s on that fateful day.