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He doesn't know what compells him to bring it up but he does, over a cloud of marijuana that fogs his vision and critical thinking he speaks without much thought and the words escape him like his self control.
"Do you believe in god?" He expects a laugh, some mockery or perhaps a signal of denial from the body next to him but Munson sighs out his hit and hums 'yes'. He's stunned into silence for the next passing seconds, or possibly minutes as he loosely holds the roach Eddie had handed him; we dont waste a single bit in this household, hargrove.
"Do you fear god?" Billy asks next, his voice quivering a bit as he stares at the wall, lifting the joint to his lips like a posessed man.
Eddie pauses, he can see him look at him out of the corner of his eye and Billy turns his head away as he coughs, the smoke gripping his throat and making it burn. Munson is too quiet, too thoughtful for such a creature he is.
"No," He says, patting Billy's back as he coughs and it lingers too long for it to be a simply friendly pat. "I don't fear god, Billy, why are you asking?"
"Why?" All Billy's life he was taught that God was not merciful, nor was he vengeful but sinners went to hell, you turn away from God and the Devil had you, black and fucking white. Religion was your morals, and without your morals you were lost, so life was a dream until you went to god, or the devil.
"Why should I?" Eddie counters, and Billy was at a loss - he didn't want to dump it all on Eddie, especially since it all felt... stupid when he went to speak.
"Because... you, we're, y'know." Attracted to the same sex.
"Billy, People hate, God doesn't.." Eddie says, like that's black and white. "God forgives.. he kinda, left us with the ten commandments and we taught ourselves how to go to war with it."
Billy hums because that makes sense, he can wrap his head around that he thinks. He closes his eyes and hands him back the blunt, willing away the needles in his stomach and the hand wrapped around his heart. He felt like he was trapped in his own body, the weed making him feel calm while he was slowly filling with dread.
"Do you think we're going to hell?" Billy asks, he tries and fails to not let the fact that he was close to crying show in his voice and Eddie snorts.
"You're asking the wrong person, my guy. Jewish people kinda don't believe in that shit." He laughs, and Billy can only think aboutt how his father would hate him even more if he started dating a jewish man.
A moment of silence passes before Eddie leans on him and sighs. "I don't know who truamatized you with that religious non-sense but God doesn't care if you're gay, Billy"
"At least god can forgive me." Billy says tightly, pulling Eddie's face closer to his own and kissing him.