Work Text:
Rain, was the first thing that popped into Oikawa Tooru’s drunk, hazy mind as he stepped out of the bar, the club’s neon lights flashing rapidly behind him. Lots and lots of rain.
It poured from the inky skies, drop after drop. Dripping down the rooftops, splashing onto his clothes and into puddles on the ground. Oikawa squinted up at the raindrops, far too tipsy to heed any attention to his soaking clothes. He swayed from side-to-side, blinking as a drop of water hit his face every now and then. He stuck out a hand in front of him, and was immediately greeted with immense drops of rainwater. Oikawa giggled. It was very, very cold.
Oikawa exhaled, humming thoughtfully. “Whatever should I do now?” He mumbled wearily to himself. He was incredibly drunk, tired, and had no clue where he was. All he could remember was walking along the street and coming across a club. And probably taking too many shots. He couldn’t even remember why he decided to get drunk. Perhaps that was a good thing.
But now he had no car, no directions, and no one to take him home.
Where was home anyways? Oikawa didn’t recognize this part of town from anywhere. Everything seemed dim, shadowy, and suspicious in this area. Maybe that was because his vision was going blurry. Who knows.
Oikawa puffed out his cheeks as he took in the rest of his surroundings. There wasn’t a single person in sight. They were all probably sheltered inside, safe from the rain. There were a few cars driving by, though. He could maybe hitchhike. Oikawa shuddered at the thought. He certainly didn’t want to get in a car with strangers - who knew what they could do to him!
He frowned, resting his hands on his hips. What was he going to do?
That’s when he saw it. His savior. His haven.
A taxi cab.
Oikawa clapped his hands gleefully. Perfect! He could take a taxi and get home safely. He patted his coat pockets for his wallet. Yes, he had plenty of money – seventy four cents – to spare!
He skipped over to the bright yellow cab, mindful of any puddles. He gracefully opened the back door and slid into the car, softly sighing at the warmth of the vehicle. He proceeded to put on a large, charming smile to the taxi driver, prepared to give his address. Flashing a peace sign, he greeted the driver. “Yoo-hoo~! Cabbie-chan! Today we’ll be going to –“
Oikawa choked on his breath upon seeing the taxi drivers face.
Huh.
That was one fine taxi driver.
***
Iwaizumi checked his watch for the umpteenth time, dejectedly sighing at the prospect of working for another two hours. He was exhausted, annoyed, and definitely not getting paid enough for this.
It wasn’t that he hated his job, he just hated the people most of the time. They were always rude, loud and irritating. The worst were the drunks. Iwaizumi loathed the drunks.
Yet here he was sitting directly outside of a club. Surrounded by his enemies.
I better get a fucking tip for putting up with this shit, he thought to himself.
His thoughts were cut off as someone opened the passenger door. Iwaizumi could literally smell the alcohol oozing from them. He rolled his eyes as he turned around to face the customer. He rolled his eyes once again upon seeing his face. The passenger was one of those typical pretty boys, with disgusting flowing hair and a stupid flirty smile. Iwaizumi could tell this one was going to be trouble.
He began to speak, as he buckled in his seatbelt, his words awfully slurred. “Ya-hoo~! Cabbie-chan! Today we’ll be going to – " The passenger abruptly paused as he made eye contact with Iwaizumi. The peace sign he was holding up slowly fell to his lap and he…started choking?
Iwaizumi frowned. This guy was seriously drunk. And this was going to be a seriously long night.
***
As he recovered from his coughing fit, Oikawa swallowed nervously. Remain calm, he told himself. Remain ca-
“Are you okay, sir?” The taxi driver’s deep voice cut him off. Oikawa swooned. Even his voice was hot.
Oikawa straightened up, trying to regain his cool composure. He wiped at his mouth. Was he drooling?
Oikawa giggled and waved him off, “Sorry about that! I just got distracted for a second.” Another peace sign.
The driver seemed unfazed, however, as he raised an eyebrow and turned back around in his seat. Oikawa huffed.
Turning the key in the ignition, the driver sighed. “So, where to?” He asked.
“Your bedroom.” Oikawa hastily replied. He then stopped. He certainly didn’t mean for that to come out.
The driver stilled. “Excuse me?”
Oikawa played it off with another seductive wink. “Oops! I didn’t mean to say that out loud! Too many drinks, I suppose.” He obnoxiously stretches out the vowels of each word, bobbing his head from side to side.
After giving the driver his address (as well as a flirty invitation to come inside), Oikawa leans back to admire his wonderfully sculpted body. His jaw is clenched – probably from annoyance – but nevertheless incredibly intimidating and attractive. Ahh, look at those muscles and those blissful biceps. Oikawa’s eyes wander down towards his arms, widening as they flex every now and then from clutching the staring wheel. He covers his mouth to prevent from squealing in delight. Praise the Lord, Oikawa has found his soul mate, hands down.
Now how exactly was he to go about seducing this angry driver and getting him into his bed? Oikawa honestly had no clue but to flirt shamelessly.
And so he did.
***
Iwaizumi’s eye has probably twitched for the twentieth time by now.
He was so, so beyond done with his pathetic life and it took all of his willpower not to fling himself out the window.
He took a deep breath. He would get through this, he convinced himself. No matter how hard, he will get through this –
“So! Taxi man-chan,” Iwaizumi’s eye twitches now for the twenty-first time, “Can I get a name to go with that delicious body?” Iwaizumi almost rams the taxi into the car ahead of him. Never mind what he just said. He was so not going to get through this.
Stopping at a red light, he turns around and is greeted with his passenger’s flirty, intoxicated face. Iwaizumi sighs, figuring that ignoring him will only make him more persistent and annoying. He closes his eyes. “Iwaizumi.” He says flatly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He doesn't want to give this stranger his first name. He doesn't need to get personal.
A mischievous smile graces the other's face as he props himself up on his hands. “Ooh, strong name for a strong guy. Well, Iwa-chan, I’m Oikawa, but feel free to call me whatever you like.” He purrs. Oh. Never mind about getting personal.
Iwaizumi just stares. Iwa-chan. He doesn’t even want to address that atrocious nickname. “Please - just - no.”
Oikawa winks. “The light’s green Iwa-chan. You can stop staring at me now.”
Iwaizumi opens the window. He sticks his head out. He internally screams.
***
“Iwa-chan ~ yellow light!” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and brakes.
Suddenly he’s met with one (1) Oikawa Tooru leaning against him, clutching his arm. “W-what the hell are you – get off!” Iwaizumi exclaims, attempting to push him off. He can smell the alcohol and incredibly strong cologne emanating from his body. Why, god, what had he ever done to deserve this?
Oikawa laughs innocently, although it sounds far from pure. “Oh, dear! Haha, Iwa-chan you shouldn’t brake so hard, I had to steady myself there!” He smiles up at Iwaizumi and squeezes his arm. “And wow! those are some impressive arm muscles right there Iwa-chan, if I do say so myself.” He winks. He has the nerve to fucking wink.
“You know what – just – ok sit down,” Iwaizumi’s mind blanks. He can’t string a single sentence together. He’s beyond annoyed and exasperated, and is now seriously fighting the urge to run out into the street and leave his fate up to God.
The light turns green.
He continues driving.
***
“Oi, where am I turning next?” Iwaizumi asks the useless lump sitting in his backseat. Oikawa specifically told Iwaizumi not to use the GPS, as he stated “I’m trusty enough to guide Iwa-chan on my own!” Iwaizumi was seriously doubting Oikawa actually knew the way back, though.
“Turn right here!” Oikawa chirps.
Iwaizumi frowned. “We’ve turned right about the last four times I asked you.” He said as he glanced at Oikawa through the mirror.
Oikawa leans forward. “Wanna know why?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.
Iwaizumi braces himself. He's not sure if he wants to hear his answer.
Oikawa grins. “That’s because, Iwa-chan, you and I are right for each other!” He flashes a peace sign. What the fuck.
Iwaizumi stops the taxi on the side of the street and unlocks his door.
Oikawa sits up. “Wait – Iwa-chan – where are you – what, no don’t leave!” He cries, still bubbling with laughter.
Iwaizumi is beyond done, however. He steps out of the car into the rain, letting himself get soaked, repeatedly asking what he had done in his previous life to deserve such a punishment.
Once again, he was not getting paid enough to put up with this shit.
***
Entering the car once more, Iwaizumi plops down in his seat, slowly turning around to glare at Oikawa. “Where do I go now?” He slowly, calmly asks.
Oikawa grins devilishly. “Turn left.”
***
About five minutes have passed, and Oikawa is oddly quiet. As relaxing as it is, Iwaizumi is slightly concerned as to why the other had fallen so silent.
Stopping at an intersection, he turns around to look at his passenger, who was leaning his head against the window, staring outside at the rain. Iwaizumi clears his throat. “Um - are you okay?” He asks softly.
Oikawa jolts and looks over to Iwaizumi. His eyes are glassy and empty, unlike the lively ones he saw just a few minutes ago. Iwaizumi grimaces. What happened to him?
Oikawa shakes his head and smiles, but this one looks awfully fake. The ends of his smile are twitching and it isn’t reaching his eyes. “Oh, it was nothing, Iwa-chan. I just remembered why I decided to get drunk in the first place.” His voice slightly cracks at the end.
The light turns green and Iwaizumi starts driving again. He frowns. “What happened?”
Oikawa shakes his head. “Nothing, it’s really stupid, sorry.” He laughs in that artificial tone again. Iwaizumi frowns. He doesn’t like that tone, it sounds really annoying.
He presses on. “Tell me. Nothing can be any stupider than you are, anyways.”
Oikawa scoffs. “Mean, Iwa-chan, mean.” Iwaizumi waves him off.
Oikawa takes a deep breath. “Well, it probably isn’t that big of a deal, but my girlfriend just broke up with me.”
A breakup. Iwaizumi hums. “That’s it?”
Oikawa breathes out a laugh. “Yeah. It’s just – I can never keep a relationship going, you know?” Iwaizumi really doesn’t know, but he nods anyway. “I have all these admirers and fan girls - I mean, you can’t exactly blame them for wanting me,” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “But once I get into a relationship with one of them, they get bored with me or I don’t pay enough attention to them. It’s like nobody really wants me. Or I can never find someone I’m happy with.” He averted his eyes and continues to stare out the window.
Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows. “What? Of course someone does. There’s a person out there for everyone, dumbass.” He couldn’t believe he was having such a personal conversation with a drunk stranger in his taxi.
Oikawa sighed. “I don’t know, Iwa-chan. I don’t think anyone would even care if I disappeared.”
“I would care.” Iwaizumi said.
A strangled noise from his passenger. “What?”
Iwaizumi averted his eyes, blushing. “I mean - I would care if you left? I – yeah.” There wasn’t anything wrong in saying that, right? Iwaizumi would care if anyone disappeared, Oikawa isn’t anything special.
Oikawa’s lips stretched into a large grin - a real smile. “Iwa-chan, is this a love confession?” He asked, leaning forward.
Iwaizumi scoffed and pushed Oikawa’s head back. “Like hell it is. I literally met you twenty minutes ago, Shittykawa.”
“What kind of insult is that?” He laughed.
“Weren’t you crying like two minutes ago?” Iwaizumi asked.
Oikawa seemed to change emotions really quickly, he noticed.
Oikawa hummed. “Turn right here, by the way.”
Iwaizumi complied, switching his turn indicator on.
“How much farther is it from here?” He asked.
A large pause.
Iwaizumi looks at him through the mirror. "Oikawa...?"
Oikawa laughs uncertainly. “Oh. Um - to be honest I actually have no idea where we are or how to get home?” He says, phrasing the sentence like a question while nervously wringing his hands.
Iwaizumi blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”
Oikawa reached up and twisted a strand of his hair with his fingers. “I was just giving you random directions. I’m so sorry please don’t kill m-“
“I’m going to kill you.” He said in a menacingly low voice. Has this guy really been giving him random directions for the past ten minutes? Suddenly the urge to fling himself out the window becomes stronger and more appealing.
Oikawa covered his face, “No, please don’t hurt me I’m so sorry Iwa-chan - !”
Iwaizumi had to fight the want to burst into tears. He was exhausted and ready to cry. “Why would you – why didn’t you just give me your address? I could've typed it up in the GPS,” He says exasperatedly. He turns to look at Oikawa, who was awkwardly looking down at his lap.
“Uh. I don’t know?”
Iwaizumi slammed his head against the steering wheel, muffling his pained groan.
He inhaled deeply.
Find your inner fucking peace, Hajime. It should be in there somewhere.
***
After typing in Oikawa’s address in the GPS, Iwaizumi leans back in his seat. Looking down at the car’s clock, he reads the time. It is now 11:00 PM, and he is beyond tired. He would’ve been home if it weren’t for Oikawa. Surprisingly, though, he isn’t that annoyed with him. In fact, Iwaizumi feels kind of content. He hasn’t had his blood rise this much in ages, and oddly enough, it feels kind of good.
Iwaizumi shakes his head. He blames his weird behavior on the time, and how long the day has been.
At the next intersection, he turns around to look at Oikawa, who is now soundly sleeping in the backseat. He had been playing some sort of annoying rhythm game on his phone and ended up falling asleep, the device resting on his chest as he breathed softly. Iwaizumi finds it strange how close he had gotten with this stranger. It feels like they’ve known each other for ages rather than an hour.
He takes this rare quiet time to study Oikawa’s face. Despite being the most annoying asshole on the planet, he really was kind of attractive – pretty, even. The streetlights from outside illuminate his face, highlighting his prominent cheekbones and arched nose. His tousled brown hair is even more messy and wavy due to his sleeping position, but Iwaizumi thinks it looks better this way. He actually thinks he looks perfect like this.
He blinks. Where the hell did all that come from?
Iwaizumi rubs at his eyes. Yeah, it’s definitely been a long day.
***
The rain had finally let up as the GPS announced their arrival at Oikawa’s house. Iwaizumi let out a huge breath and stretched his arms. Somehow they had made it.
It was now almost 12:00, and Iwaizumi was prepared to fall asleep any minute now. He looked back at the sleeping lump in the backseat and hesitated. Oikawa looks peaceful, and Iwaizumi kind of didn’t want to wake him up. He crossed his arms and frowned. He felt upset for some reason. He didn’t want Oikawa to leave. He wanted to see him again. Maybe he could ask him for his phone number? Iwaizumi quickly brushed that thought off. Oikawa would definitely make some annoying flirty comment if he was asked for his number. Iwaizumi rubbed at his face. He couldn’t believe how hung up he was over a drunk idiot. A drunk pretty idiot, who was now slightly fidgeting in his seat, starting to wake up.
Iwaizumi cleared his throat. “Hi asshole. We’re here.” He cursed at his incapability to be suave and flirty.
Oikawa let out a big yawn and stretched out his arms. “How rude, Iwa-chan,” he mumbled as his eyes slowly began to open. Iwaizumi had to turn around to hide his smile.
Looking over the miles they had driven and the cost for the trip, Iwaizumi craned his head to look back at Oikawa. “What is your method of payment?” He asked.
Oikawa gave him the biggest shit-eating grin. Iwaizumi wasn’t sure he was ready to hear his next words.
Creeping closer to Iwaizumi, Oikawa said in a low tone, “Any way you want.” He winked.
Iwaizumi internally sets himself on fire. Fuck him. Both figuratively and literally.
Oikawa laughed, “Aah, I’m just kidding Iwa-chan~! Here – I have –“ Iwaizumi, however, had stopped listening and instead focused on Oikawa, and how nice he looked in this dim lighting and how, despite being half asleep, still looked so pretty, and maybe he had a very attractive body –
Oikawa waved a few dollar bills in his face, pulling Iwaizumi out of his daze. "Daydreaming, are we, Iwa-chan?" He mocks.
Maybe it’s the fact that it’s so late at night. Maybe it’s the fact that Iwaizumi’s gotten attached to this unbelievable prick or maybe it’s the fact that Iwaizumi is just really, really, tired that he decides he wants to take Oikawa up on that offer of payment.
Iwaizumi proceeds to grab the other by his shirt collar and pulls him forward. Oikawa gasps in with a high-pitched, “Iwa-chan - !” and Iwaizumi can tell he’s going to say something stupid and ruin the moment so he leans closer and silences him. Despite being such an irritating asshole Oikawa looks so unbelievably nice Iwaizumi just thinks - fuck it all, and presses his lips to Oikawa’s.
Iwaizumi does not question the butterflies in his stomach nor does he address the fact that Oikawa’s lips are very soft and he is, in fact, very fucked and he is, in fact, making out with a customer he’s barely met. He does address the fact that this was all thanks to a taxi, though. Maybe his job isn’t as bad as he thought.
(Meanwhile Oikawa internally fist pumps that yes this fine specimen was going to be in his bed tonight and hell yes he’s so very fine.)
Needless to say, they end up in Oikawa’s apartment and Iwaizumi concludes that this time, he’s definitely gotten paid enough.