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Yeah, no one gets left behind. That’s the plan, that’s the vision. And Stiles will do anything to make that vision come true. Cause being left behind isn’t a nice feeling, its rather awful. It’s terrible, it’s painful and it makes you question anything that has ever been.
~~~
Derek had left with Braeden right after Mexico. No goodbyes, no hugs, no see you soons, only a nod. That has been all Stiles and the others had gotten from him. And no one knows if he will ever come back. Stiles dosen’t think so after all and that hurts like hell. It has been months by now and there wasn’t even a text or a call. Derek could be dead for what it was worth, or he could have started a fashion collection with broody leather jackets and tightly fitting Henley’s. Maybe he started working on cars and was selling Camaros to edgy people like him. Or and that was the worst part, he could have ended up marrying Braeden - maybe he was making pretty children with her right now and no one would know, especially not Stiles. But Stiles wasn’t thinking about that, he wasn’t thinking about that at all. Why would he!?
Not when he was leaning over his jeep, talking to Scott and mapping out places to live during college, while Liam is chained to a tree nearby.
“You know the plan, okay – no one, no one gets left behind! That’s the plan!”, he said, meaning it. He knows what he's talking about. Being left behind just sucks!
He hasn’t thought about anything that had to do with Derek either, when Scott explained the meaning of regression to him. Hasn’t compared it to the wonderful sight of Derek alive, healthy and no longer blood-soaked on the dirty ground, only to see his hopes crippled down the moment Derek got in the SUV and drove away. No, he doesn’t thought about Derek and being left behind. And his heart wasn't hurting even month after.
And he definitely hasn’t thought about Derek while he talked to Malia.
“What’s wrong with you? You smell terrible.”
“Yes, it’s called anxiety. It should be a familiar scent for you, since it’s pretty much a constant state for me…”
“Why dose these seem so important to you?”
“It’s not… it’s ah… I don’t know maybe it is... I asked my dad the other day about his high-school-friends, guess how many he still talks to… None! Not a single one! And you know, these were his best friends, and he says he just lost touch with them…So I started to think about things, like I always do…”
“Obsessively”
“Yeah, and so I’m thinking what if Scott is my best friend now… but he is not my best friend for life…”
“Hm… Doesn’t that just happen sometimes?”
“Yeah, but only because we let it happen – You know, that’s what I’m saying, how can we when we graduate just except that we go our separate ways, when I already find the best people in my life, why am I not trying to just stay with them? You know.”
“Yeah, I thought that was the plan, the dream…”
“The vision and don’t mock the vision.”
“I like the vision especially if I’m part of it… So that’s why you wanted everyone here – because you don’t wanna lose all your friends after Senior Year…”
“I hope they don’t wanna lose me…”
Yeah, and of course this whole conversation was about not wanting to lose Scott or the others, nothing of what he said had anything to do with Derek and being left behind. Not the part about excepting to go separate ways instead of trying to stay with the best people in your life, nor his last words about hoping the others don’t want to lose him either and clearly not the moment were he couldn’t look at Malia when she suggested that she was still part of the plan. Yeah, he wasn’t thinking about Derek. At all!
And of course his not-thinking-about-Derek had to backfire. Senior Scribe was supposed to be fun, a little act of vandalism in the beginning, a little drinking in the end. But it wasn’t fun for Stiles. The moment he stepped to the bookshelf was just the beginning of his Derek-downwards-spiral. In all this initials he had to make out the D.H., probably these ones weren't even Derek’s initials, but it was enough to strike him hard, to make him linger and to break his heart all over again. So he just wrote his initials down, staring blindly ahead, handing the pen quickly over to Lydia. With a numb painful feeling in his chest Stiles leaned against the railing. From afar he saw Scott writing an AA for Allison and Stiles had known… He wasn’t the only one left behind.
~~~
The next day went by with him trying to convince Scott, his dad and Malia that something was clearly off with this Theo-kid. So there wasn’t much time to think about Derek, not that he needed more time thinking about him, he hadn’t slept all night, trying constantly not to cry over the Sourwolf. So he was mildly happy, that he could put his brain to work on the Theo-Case. And jet Stiles had to admit, that following the guy in the woods wasn’t his best move, but Liam was with him, so at least someone believed him with his suspicion. Seeing Theo with the flowers and being caught by him AND Scott afterwards was just embarrassing. So Stiles was absolutely pissed when even his jeep dared to betrayed him. But of course the big end was yet to come…
“Stiles…”
“Give me a second… Try it!”
“Stiles…”
“Yes, okay, we followed him out here, what do you want me to say, that I’m a stalker, that I’m crazy, totally paranoid, none of that is a new information!”
“No, you not even tried to at least give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“I give people the benefit of the doubt; I’ve given a lot of benefit to a lot of people…”
“Like Derek… Kira, Liam…”
“I was right about Peter… Try it again!”
“You know, I bet you still think that there is something about him that can be saved.”
“Maybe.”
“Try it again!”
“Why can’t you trust anyone?”
“’CAUSE YOU TRUST EVERYONE!”
His hand was hurting like hell, but it was nothing to the arching he felt in his chest. Scott’s words struckef a nerv! Yeah, he hadn’t trusted Derek from the beginning, maybe they needed time to grow on each other to find their way around, but in the end they had been there for each other. He needed no remainder that if he had trusted Derek sooner, maybe there had been enough time to work out what was between them. That maybe Derek would have stayed, or that maybe he would have taken the chance to go with him, that maybe they would be together now… living a life, in which Stiles would go to college and Derek would have a decent job. His dad would come to visit on weekends - tey would be happy. Or maybe it was his fault to trust Derek in general, because he had trusted Derek that he wouldn’t leave him behind, that he wouldn’t go with nothing but a nod, that he at least would get a hug, that he had a chance to tell him that he was madly in love with him, that they had a chance! So, how could he trust anyone anymore!?
Or maybe Derek never really trusted him… never felt the same… and so he decided to leave, while Stiles was left behind by the man he loved…
~~~
So… No one gets left behind… What a farce.