Chapter Text
Aether: Everyone :D hello hello helloooo I figured I would add my friends to a group chat, especially cos some of yall are very introverted LOL
Venti: OMg hey besties O_o
Kaeya: !!!!
Diluc: pls shut the fuck up
Aether: :(
Diluc: ….
Aether: ANYWAYS
Aether: so everyone introduce urself pls
Aether: or fucking else :)
Jean: hi everyone, Kaeya has told me about this and I would like to say hello :)
Jean: I am jean btw, president of student body :)
Aether: also !! What side of campus are y'all on
Jean: monstadt but you already know it :)
Venti: HI
Venti: I am vebti I am søber rn 👍
Aether: anyways uh
Jean: it's only three thirty i-
Zhongli: he truly is a useless creature.
Jean: :0
Jean: sir
Aether: haha grandpa let's get you to bed
Zhongli: ?.
Aether: you don't have to put the . After the ? y'know that right 😭
Zhongli: my sincerest apologies. Now, what is this?.
Aether: not the period still
Hu Tao: ZHONGLI DAD GRANDPA
Zhongli: Tao?.
Hu Tao: this is a groups chat for all aether's friends heheheh we made it together hehehe so they can all chat
Aether: yea no other reasons of course hahaha
Zhongli: ?.
Hu Tao: dad I know ur not that old c'mon
Ajax: are you actually his daughter ???
Ajax: when he's a dilf 🥰😋
Hu Tao: get tf out of here ginger
Hu Tao: leave my son and I alone
Ajax: when she's mean to you 🥰😋
Aether: EHY DON'T YOU GUYS INTRODUCE URSELVES
Hu Tao: I am Tao Tao >:) I am completely sane I swear anyways pls come to my father's business one day !!!! Things r half off ;)
Yanfei: do not trust that girl
Hu Tao: anything u say bebe
Hu Tao: *starts making out*
Hu Tao: nom nom nom
Yanfei: I am yanfei! I study law ! And I don't technically go to everyone's school, but I live on campus with Hu Tao !!
Zhongli: I am Zhongli.
Hu Tao: he works for my dad's business lol but he drives me everywhere so he made it in the chat
Xingqiu: héllò ëvēryõñê
Hu Tao: Qiu those don't make the words fancy 😭😭
Xingqiu: I am trying my hardest bestie
Hu Tao: girl
Xingqiu: I am xingqiu,, it's a pleasure to meet everyone ;)
Chongyun: Qiu told me to look at my phone :)
Xingqiu: when he does what you ask 😩😩
Chongyun: I feel like I do not understand something?? :(
Aether: ok guys ur doing shit at the intros so just just talk
Chongyun: Im so sorry !! :(
Aether: dw ur such a perfect little angel
Shenhe: ayo?
Aether: ma'am take xingqiu not me 🥺🥺😢😢
Venti: YALL
Kaeya: bro aren't u german 🤔
Venti: hells yeah
Kaeya: if u didn't seem white before that made it obvious lmao
Diluc: you can't lmao the pain away.
Aether: I- UHH
Kaeya: you wanna go?
Jean: boys.
Kaeya: I am Kaeya ;) btw
Kaeya: u can call me Kae but ur mom calls me shawty 😩
Venti: LMAOOOO
Aether: gods strike me down 🙏
Zhongli: ?.
Aether: stfu
Aether: ANYWAYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
Xiao: aether?
Aether: starts drooling
Xiao: ? Did you need something??
Aether: just u <3
Xiao: ok
Kaeya: Diluc vibes
Kaeya: hashtag emo hashtag mentally ill
Diluc you're not funny.
Kaeya: ur mom isn't
Venti: HAVEHIDBRJEIRJDB
Aether: venti aren't u in class rn ????
Venti: maybe ,,who will evrr know???
Jean: I will come pick him up
Zhongli: useless waste of human consciousness.
Hu Tao: DAD STAP
Zhongli: ?.
Hu Tao: -_-
Thoma: omg hello everyone ^-^ I missed u all lots and I'm excited to meet new people !!
Ayato: no one asked
Ayaka: who
Ayaka: asked
Ayato: ma'am-
Heizou: sir this is a wendy's
Heizou: hello everyone btw ;)
Aether: thank god for Thoma and heizou
Thoma: I'm just speaking from my heart 🥰
Ayaka: stfu ayato
Ayato: I haven't said shit yet
Ayaka: but I have a six sense for when ur gonna be rude,,
Ayaka: I know, cos it's going off all the time
Aether: EHY DOES NO FAMILY GET ALONG
Ajax: hey you have meet my brothers n sisters
Aether: ok fair but ur arguably the least sane person I have ever met
Ajax: what did u do to u, ?? 😔
Aether: everything
Aether: everything wrong with this world I blame you for it
Zhongli: deserved.
Ajax: I THOUGHT I WAS UR BF
Zhongli: All I will ever see you as is a credit card.
Hu Tao: GO OFF GRANDPA GO
Ajax: I'm ok with that
Kaeya: wait ajax r u the guy on the swimming team???....
Ajax: fan behavior fr
Kaeya: I only simp for one person bro sorry
Ajax: mad respect FR
Ajax: and yes I am bwahahah
Kaeya: mans gotta evil laugh even thru text
Hu Tao: yea stay away from him bestie
Ajax: we literally are besties ???
Hu Tao: says who bitch says who!!??
Ajax: my heart 🥺🥺
Diluc: how do I leave this chat?
Kaeya: HAVDHJDBSJS
Diluc: …
Kaeya: besides me who do u hate now 🤔🤔
Diluc: "Ajax" I do not like him.
Kaeya: I love when he hates someone that's not me 🙏🙏🙏
Aether: Me with lumine fr
Kaeya: where is she btw
Lumine: here
Lumine: i just don't like most of you
Hu Tao: you love me doe <333
Lumine: sure
Aether: anyways DILUC look
Diluc: hm?
Aether: @jean @thoma
Aether: there are people u like in here
Diluc: I can just see them normally?
Aether: but now you can talk to them all the time :D
Diluc: I don't ever want to talk to anyone that much
Albedo: felt
Kaeya: BEDO
Beidou: this town ain't big enough for the both of us 🔫
Albedo: Kaeya, hello :)
Kaeya: my heart on a platter my liege 💍
Albedo: I'm in the science lab pls
Kaeya: thanks I'm on my way
Albedo: not quite what I meant but
Thoma: how many people from monstadt are here??
Aether: everyone I personally know or am friends with!
Thoma: I miss u all sm :)
Diluc: :)
Aether: AEEEWEEEWWEWW
Aether: CUUUTE
Diluc: fuck off
Jean: master diluc pls
Kaeya: weren't u raised to be the perfect gentleman ??
Diluc: why would you say that?
Kaeya: I genuinely can't tell if he's dumb or ignorant sometimes
Jean: Kaeya!
Kaeya: I'm just statng my feelings jean what's so wrong with dat
Eula: I agree with sir Kaeya
Kaeya: u guys don't have to call me that but pls do it's hilarious
Amber: Eula! Hi hi hi ^-^
Rosaria: just start dating already god 🙄🙄
Kaeya: that's what I'm saying fr
Kazuha: does anyone know a good plug
Rosaria: I know a few
Kaeya: rosaria we are supposed to be alcoholics pick a struggle fr
Rosaria: who said they are for me?
Kaeya: then who would they before ????
Rosaria: ur mom
Aether: why do u wanna know kazu
Kazuha: you know exactly why :)
Aether: anyways who wants to go hang out with kazuha and me 🥰
Kazuha: no, they have to be , special
Kazuha: not everyone can be
Aether: can be?
Heizou: he passed out lmaoooo
Heizou: bro is straight up dead 💔💔
Heizou: thank god
Hu Tao: did someone say death???
Heizou: that was a joke btw guys , he is my everything, my northern star, my wildflower, my wind, my moon my-
Hu Tao: bro I thought someone was dead :|
Hu Tao: don't clickbait me like that
Kaeya: speaking of drugs, has anyone seen Diluc?
Ajax:?????
Hu Tao: excuse me what
Kaeya: anyways have any of u guys seen him,, bitch was supposed to drive me home today 🙄
Albedo: he is with me??
Kaeya: MY OWN ,,, UH BROT- PERSON? IS DATING MY BOYFRIEND????
Albedo: Kaeya he's just giving me something I requested
Kaeya: are y'all making crystal meth or smth
Venti: breaking bad core
Venti: I won't some
Kaeya: anyways deliver Diluc to me
Albedo: he's not a pizza
Venti: OIZZA LMAOOOO
Albedo: oizza
Venti: stfu I'm literally neurodivergent and a minor
Albedo: you're 23
Venti: never too old to rock n roll 👻
Albedo: yes I will come along with him, I would like to study with you tonight
Kaeya: AH SHIT here we go again
Kaeya: man is so down bad for me
Albedo: no you're failing biology
Diluc: piss off n go to Albedo's
Kaeya: ok karen I'm on my way 🙄
Venti: Diluc can I come over then 🥺🥺
Diluc: you are not getting the alcohol
Xingqiu: are u guys all alcoholics and gay
Diluc: no
Venti: liar
Diluc: you're the one who's drunk rn
Venti: anyways guys
Xingqiu: who here wants to proof read my fanfic
Chongyun: I would love to Qiu :)
Hu Tao: is gonna be hard core smut between two video game characters again bestie boo??
Xingqiu: no why would u say that hahaha
Yanfei: have fun in hell boy
Zhongli: I would like to read.
Xingqiu: uh um sir???
Hu Tao: DAD NO
Hu Tao: do you know what smut is dad???
Zhongli: not particularly, but I love books.
Hu Tao: GUYS
Hu Tao: what is everyone favorite music genre
Zhongli: I like classic rock.
Zhongli: I miss being young:
Hu Tao: YOUR ONLY LIKE 24
Zhongli: old enough my back hurts.
Hu Tao: y'know dad
Hu Tao: GOLRBOSS UR SHIT
Xingqiu: I LOOOOVE jrock :D
Chongyun: soko :)
Hu Tao: damn he an indie girlie
Hu Tao: I personally like the sounds of screaming of people burning in hell
Diluc: we actually have something in common.
Kaeya: you just KNOW Diluc cries into his pillow and screams chop suey
Ajax: I love the sounds of death :D
Kaeya: how fucked are u guys 😭😭
Ajax: no fr have u guys ever heard the sounds of bones snapping ,, life changing for me honestly
Zhongli: Ajax you are wrong in the head.
Ajax: I don't see it personally
Kaeya: one time Diluc told me he loves the sounds of things being stabbed and the groans of pain when things die . :|
Ajax: oh? Diluc you say
Ajax: sorry zhongli I found someone I can murder people with
Zhongli: can I still have you credit card information?
Ajax: of course bbyg anything for u <3
Jean: are we going to ignore everything else that happened?
Diluc: Kaeya is a liar, don't believe anything he says.
Ajax: oh damn a liar now, sorry Diluc I'm moving on 😩
Diluc: you never even crossed my mind in the first place
Ajax: nm Kaeya 😩
Kaeya: NAH BRO
Albedo: why are there so many sadists in our school
Jean: we literally accept anyone in our school 😭
Venti: how tf did you think I got here
Zhongli: true, he is unbelievably dumb.
Venti: WHAT DID I DO TO U OLD MAN
Zhongli: We went to church together. That says enough.
Kaeya: LMAOOOO
Kaeya: you unlocked so many memories of staying home while my whole family went to church 💔
Zhongli: why did you stay home?.
Kaeya: cos god doesn't love me 💔💔😭😭
Venti: not true I love u!!! Just your family didn't!!
Jean: VENTI!!!
Kaeya: your mom should have aborted you venti
Venti: she wishes she did fr
Venti: isn't it crazy that at one time we were all in a vajayjay
Albedo: it's just biology, it's natural, you would know if you actually attended school
Kaeya: GET HIM BABE
Venti: why do u guys hate me
Venti: I have the fattest juiciest ass anyone has ever seen you can't legally be rude to be
Kaeya: ok but have u seen my titties
Kaeya: also look at zhongli, man got a fatty
Zhongli:?.
Zhongli: a fatty?.
Kaeya: oh y'know big boy
Venti: WOAH THERE KAEYA
Kaeya: it's ok there is only one in my heart anyways 💍
Diluc: will you ever stop using emojis?
Kaeya: when ur dad comes back to life
Diluc:
Jean: Kaeya.
Diluc: ur a whore anyways
Kaeya: ur not good at comebacks
Ajax: I feel like I just opened the chat to something I shouldn't have seen
Diluc: can't wait to fucking die
Kaeya: ???
Diluc: oh my bad
Diluc: ignore that
Jean: ????
Ajax: idk guys I'm kinda in love with him
Kaeya: WTF BRO
Ajax: he keeps talking about death n that's so sexy of him 😩😩😩
Diluc: memtmsm
Jean: are you ok???
Kaeya: if anyone knew that wouldn't it be u??
Aether: guys maybe take dis to the dms
Diluc: if I ested soosl I dmmfidi cos I didn't yes I did
Kaeya: uhh don't mind him ,, me n Albedo got it
Albedo: 👍
Venti: he got a lil toooo silly goofy
Hu Tao: me when when you when I when me when I you
Yanfei: ok baby maybe u have been spending too much time in this group chat
Venti: girl got the crazy pills confused with the yass pills again
Hu Tao: I dunno yall I think this venti fella really gets me
Zhongli: you're both just dumb and naive.
Hu Tao: DAD STOP
Hu Tao: you would never say that to Xiao or Ganyu, why must there be favorites 💔💔💔
Zhongli: I am sorry for upsetting you. I saw the opportunity to type as Ajax told me it's called, "beef".
Hu Tao: nm dad ur doing great
Xiao: stop teaching him this shit
Ganyu: I agree with Xiao but maybe not their phrasing!!!
Hu Tao: y'all r LAAAAME
Hu Tao: anyways Xiao Xiao
Xiao: -_-
Hu Tao: emo bitch
Hu Tao: I just wanted u to come to lunch with me n xiangling and yanfei but wtvr ig 💔💔🙄🙄😭😭
Aether: can I come :D
Xiao: I would like to too
Hu Tao: DOWN BAD FRRR
Xiao: hm?
Hu Tao: u wanna go lil bro? 👿
Xiao:????
Aether: Xiao it's ok 😭 she's teasing
Aether: they're s in class with me but is straight up whispering demonic shit to themself cos of u Tao Tao 😭😭
Venti: man is practicing their black magic
Aether: nah dw the only- well actually I was gonna the say the only real occultist friend we got is Tao but maybe that's a lie lmaooo
Hu Tao: see, I just like playing with ouija boards and scaring people when they least expect it 🥰
Hu Tao: but chongyun is an exorcist and Xiao is like straight up a demon or smth I have no idea what's going on with him
Xiao: I'm not a demon. I do not like them.
Hu Tao: you can always be something you don't like 🌈🌈
Xiao: I am aware.
Hu Tao: UHH my bad g
Hu Tao: is there anyone sane here fr
Amber: I like to think I am :D
Eula: me as well
Amber: baby no :(
Kaeya: DAMN
Rosaria: no one in the monstadt part of campus is sane,,, maybe only noelle and amber
Noelle: I very much appreciate that ^-^
Rosaria: her coming online purely for that proves it
Xingqiu: no one here is sane either 💔💔 maybe only like
Xingqiu: I would say xiangling but I never know what she be feeding us
Chongyun: I think I am normal! :)
Xingqiu: yun yun,, u are allergic to everything and then claim it ruins ur mojo
Chongyun: It does :(
Xingqiu: ily baby but I think it's just ur mental health problems
Hu Tao: I-
Hu Tao: GAWD DAWWMN
Chongyun: he's not wrong :( he knows me best :)
Xingqiu: dw y'all I pay for his therapy like dat 💪💪
Ganyu: why are we going around and talking about how stable we all are ?? :(
Hu Tao: because we have super deep lore that not all of us are caught up on
Ganyu: we're not movie characters ? :(
Hu Tao: we could be an anime tho
Hu Tao: I would make such a good anime character who here is an artist, cos we already got xingqiu to write it 💪
Kaeya: cough cough cough Albedo cough cough cough
Hu Tao: I thought he was a nerd 🤢
Kaeya: woah girl he is MY nerd
Kaeya: he's a nerd in more than one way tho 😩
Kaeya: at least he isn't a four eyes fr
Jean: Kaeya how many times have we talked about this?
Kaeya: my bad my bad yall,, people with glasses aren't four eyes , only Diluc is
Albedo: he wears glasses?
Kaeya: man's is legally blind without his contacts or glasses LMAOOO
Albedo: Kaeya stop talking rude about the visually impaired
Albedo: You know sucrose is one of my closest friends.
Kaeya: alright sugar huny boo boo bear lovely dovey cakes
Hu Tao: I dunno yall Kaeya seems like the biggest loser here fr
Kaeya: LIES
Albedo: man really did a phoenix wright objection fr
Xingqiu: WE LOVE TO SEE ACE ATTORNEY REFERENCES FR
Kaeya: can I be that clown girl
Albedo: ;)
Xingqiu: gay gay homosexual gay
Kaeya: woah there lil man
Kaeya: who said we are both men and are gay and are in love and are really super hot
Xingqiu: I have a class with Albedo and a different one with u bro 😭😭
Kaeya: MY BAD G
Xingqiu: speaking of which y'all state ur pronouns if ur comfortable with it
Kaeya: he/him cos I'm sexxxy
Albedo: he/they I don't really care.
Chongyun: they them :)
Hu Tao: so many gays fr
Hu Tao: she/her cos I'm so quirky 👻👻
Aether: this is gonna take forever there is like 56 of us or smth
Aether I'll just make a chart so u all know
Aether:
Aether: graphic design is my passion :D
Hu Tao: DID YOU REALLY JUST OUT US ALL IN A TIER LIST MAKER LMAOOO
Xingqiu: why are there so many people on that list, I didn't even know they were in this chat lmaoo
Kaeya: damn we have so many dommy mommies
Eula: stfu
Rosaria: stfu Kaeya
Kaeya: damn no one want me fr
Albedo: 🤔
Kaeya: WAIT BABE NOO
Xingqiu: I'm pretty sure that list is still missing like half of us tho 😭😭
Jean: I told you, we'll let anyone in
Kaeya: how did u guys get hehehahaha
Kaeya: Diluc only goes here because his dad told him it would be rude to go to a different college than me LMAOOO
Diluc: I could be working on my law degree rn but ur such a stinky bitch
Yanfei: I'll sneak u in dw
Diluc: I think that goes against the law
Yanfei: nothing is illegal if you don't get caught!
Hu Tao: THAT'S RIGHT BABY
Xingqiu: 🤔
Xingqiu: I'm only here cos I heard there's a book club that does slam poetry
Kaeya: tbr guys, I'm here cos I wanted to be a singer but god said no 💔💔
Diluc: he wanted the band name to be dicks
Kaeya: YASSS
Kaeya: that would have been such a dream team 💔
Xinyan: I PLAY GUITAR
Kaeya: U WANNA BE A DICK EITH ME
Zhongli: Xinyan zont zo it pls
Ajax: ZHONGLI????
Hu Tao: DAD ?????
Xiao: who did it this time ,, I will kill u
Ganyu: :(((
Kaeya: woah there little emo
Xiangling: hey me n xingqiu really thought he would like that video
Xingqiu: alright now one thing about me
Kaeya: IM THE BADDEST ALIVE
Hu Tao: THE PRETTIEST BITCH DIDN'T COME UNTIL I ARRIVED
Xingqiu: anyways uh
Xingqiu: don't mind me Xiao, Ganyu, Ajax, :) I'm teaching him how to be cool
Hu Tao: why not me?????
Xingqiu: COS U WOULD TEACH HIM THAT TOO
Xiao: your on thin ice
Xingqiu: don't make me do it-
Xiao: ?
Xingqiu: *you're
Xiao: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Aether: not the demonic chanting pls save them
Venti: aren't u the one who is their bf???
Aether: wha-at? n-no!
Kaeya: AETHER WHY DIDN'T U TELL ME
Aether: COS U WOULD SAY That
Kaeya: ok u got me there honestly
Rosaria: Kaeya ur supposed to be glad for them
Kaeya: oh uh
Kaeya: congrats on ur relationship besties 🥰🌈 slay who you wanna be 🌈🌈
Xiao: wtf
Aether: Kaeya ur scaring them
Kaeya: I loves scaring the hoes
Aether: the hoes🤔 you must be so scared rn
Rosaria: HAHAHAHDJHSHSISJS
Venti: BAHSGSHSHHDHDJSKDUFBD
Kaeya: ugly ass laugh
Kaeya: reminds me of diluc's
Diluc: stfu
Kaeya: go back into ur drug coma mister
Albedo: mmmmm??????
Jean: Kaeya .
Kaeya: WHY DI U ALWAYS DRFENED HIM BUT WHEN HE TELLS ME I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BIRN U sAY NOTHING
Venti: god has favorites 🙏
Venti: I would know fr
Kaeya: why is this the second time ur saying ur a god
Jean: you know why Kaeya :)
Kaeya: DON'T JUST :) ME!!!!!!
Jean: :)
Venti: Im kinda like a prettier jesus so
Chongyun: lorde?
Venti: IM JUST LIKE U,,,, UR JUST LIKE ME 🌈🌈🌈
chongyun: I like solar power?
Xingqiu: true babes listens to it everyday on the way to school
Xingqiu: they won't let me play Marina anymore 💔
Chongyun: u listened to that one song like seven times in a row
Xingqiu: but now I can sing it perfectly!!!
Yun jin: speaking of :)
Xingqiu: ???
Yun jin: has anyone seen barbara ?? She said she had to be at the church but would come eat lunch with me first ?? :(
Jean: she is running late! She must have gotten so caught up she forgot to tell you !!
Kaeya: she takes after someone ;)
Lisa: stfu Kaeya
Kaeya: LISA DAMN
Kaeya: I thought we were partners in crime
Kaeya: and by crime, I mean, being sexy
Lisa: lip bite
Jean: ?
Yun jin: thank you sm miss jean! :)))
Jean: of course lovey !
Jean: I love having normal conversations with actually sane people :)
Venti: what are u trying to say jean HUH
Rosaria: are u trying to scare her thru text
Venti: it's the only shot I got bro
Kaeya: damn they are such a twink the only way they can even try to intimidate people is thru online
Rosaria: cyber bullying isn't cool venti
Venti: but it's funny
Xingqiu: AGREED
Ajax: wtf did those five yr old kids do to u 🤔
Albedo: agreed.
Kaeya: AIGHT I FORGOR IM A DAD
Albedo: you're not klee's dad?
Kaeya: then if u aren't either
Albedo: I'm her big brother ???
Kaeya: hey am I not in ur pants enough to be family 💔💔💔
Albedo:...
Kaeya: dDont LEAVE MEEE
Albedo: that's what I thought
Venti: BOTTOM
Kaeya: bro who tf do u think U could top????
Venti: ehe
Venti: UR MOM
Kaeya: bye fuckers
Rosaria: yes get him gone
Jean: rosaria!! :(
Rosaria: oh so NOW u defend him 🙄🤔
Jean: sigh
Aether: I feel that so hard jean
Aether: shout-out to all my workaholics out there
Xingqiu: I see ur comments and they make me smile :)
Aether: NOO ABSHJSJS
Ajax: has anyone seen a pair of goggles that have my name on the side ???? !!!!!!!
Aether: stfu russian boy
Ajax: WHAT DID U DO TO U NOW
Aether: you literally tried to kill me one day
Ajax: for fun!!!
Xiao: you did what now?
Ajax: anyways ! Has anyone seen them
Diluc: they were left in the gym. I saw them when I went through earlier, I put them in the lost and found.
Ajax: omg let me kiss u rn
Diluc: >:(
Ajax: LMAOOOO
Ajax: I'm on my way now bbyg
Ajax: do u guys think I could top him 🤔
Diluc: I'm right here.
Ajax: uor so seggsy
Diluc: I'm going to fucking kill myself right now.
Ajax: WAITTTT
Jean: Ajax :(.
Ajax: sorry mom
Ajax: low-key reminds me of her honestly
Zhongli: Ajax told me I remind him of his dad one time, and that's why he gives me money.
Jean: are u trying to give me money, sir?
Ajax: nah if I did I would tell u I want to get in ur pants
Jean: so u want to give Diluc money?
Ajax: I'm down *lip bites*
Zhongli: I'm pretty sure he is rich already.
Ajax: REALLY
Ajax: violent, talks about death, hates me, aAAAAaaand rich, imma have to brb
Jean: Diluc pls block his number
Diluc: it's kinda funny
Jean: WHAG
Kaeya: WHAG
Venti: ?????!!!!!!!
Venti: Diluc is,, is , tolerating someone he doesn't know?????
Diluc: I'm nice.
Kaeya: "I said, like a liar"
Diluc: I'm going to fucking kill myself again
Kaeya: do a flip
Albedo: why do I like you?
Kaeya: titties
Albedo: got me there fr
Ajax: EHO KILLED LUC NOW
Jean: luc???
Kaeya: himself 🙄
Zhongli: why do we talk about suicide like it's a joke?.
Kaeya:
Hu Tao: ON THAT NOTE
Hu Tao: COFFINS R FIFTY PERCENT OFF THIS FRIDAY!! AND THIS FRIDAY ONLY!!
Ajax: TAO !!!!
Hu Tao: I'm just quirky like dat 💪🤔
Kaeya: it's giving: my trauma made me funny 🤣🤣🤣
Hu Tao: NAHHH BYEEE
Kaeya: if that was true then Diluc would be hilarious
Jean: KAEYA!!!!
Diluc: it's ok cos Kaeya is a little bitch who is mad he will never be loved back
Jean: god why me
Venti: boys, let's take this one outside
Diluc: no tnks, I have rijght here witth meeee
Venti: oh god
Kaeya: OOOh my bad
Albedo: gods u two
Ajax: is diluc ok??????
Kaeya: bro :|
Ajax: sorry ur smelly af
Venti: LMAOOOOO TRUEEE
Kaeya: what if this was my thirteenth reason HUH? THEN WHAT
Jean: Kaeya I'm gonna come over n take Diluc home
Kaeya: thank fuck
Ajax: CAN I COME???
Jean: ?
Kaeya: I say sure hehehe
Aether: can u guys stop fighting on main fr
Jean: AETHER!!!
Aether: no fr tho!!
Aether:
Thoma: I will come over too, I miss Diluc anyways!!!
Aether: you saw them yesterday 😭
Kaeya: SIMP BEHAVIOR FR
Thoma: I just care about his well being :)
Kaeya: damn couldn't be me
Aether: WHY GOD WHY
Zhongli: ?.?.?.:(.
Aether: hu tao come get ur grandpa
Hu Tao: YOO IT'S AJAX'S TURN TO DEAL WITH HIM
Hu Tao: we got split custody 💪
Aether: aren't u both his children tho 😭😭
Ajax: lovers from da same mother, partner 🤠🐄🐮
Hu Tao: amen 🙏
Ajax: WAIT
Ajax: if Diluc and Kaeya r pretty much da same person why do they hate each other so much
Diluc: never say that to me again
Kaeya: LIESSS AJAX LIESSS
Aether: how tf do u think they are similar 😭😭
Ajax: they hate themselves but also think they are better than everyone
Aether: WTF LMAOOOOOO
Aether: damn so much can happen in one day
Aether: we started not knowing each other at all and here we are
Aether: here we are.
Xiao: aether ? :)
Aether: yes my love ??
Hu Tao: damn these bitches gay
Venti: good for them
Xiao: why did u make this ?
Aether: so we can have friends :D
Xiao: I don't need friends they disappoint me
Hu Tao: did XIAO just REFERENCE a MEME?!?!!?
Xiao: no. I'm stating how I feel for once
Hu Tao: damn ok 💔💔💔
Aether: xiao do u like literally anyone here 😭
Xiao: I like zhongli :)
Aether: HE'S UR DAD
Xiao: ):
Hu Tao: time to make my boy some friends
Hu Tao: everyone get in line
Aether: ok we'll start with our best candidates
Aether: so anyone but venti, xingqiu, kaeya, and ajax
Hu Tao: we need another emo to tell us what emos like
Aether: @diluc @rosaria @kazuha @albedo maybe @/fischl
Kazuha: I'm not emo
Kazuha: I'm just depressed
Aether: I think we found out first candidate
Hu Tao: who tf is fischl
Fischl: here
Hu Tao: HIGUGUHUHHUHIHIHI
Fischl: :D
Fischl: I apologize to my friends for never speaking in here ✨ Im afraid I was unaware my presence was requested
Hu Tao: I'm not like other girls fr
Fischl: stfu
Aether: LMAOO NOOO
Aether: anyways kazuha might be out best chance
Aether: u are both, depressed, nice, and chill
Hu Tao: do we know the same Xiao????
Aether: I think so bro
Xiao: what do u mean u think u know different Xiaos? I'm the only one on campus.
Aether: IT WAS A JOKE SWEETIE
Xiao: ?.
Aether: PLS NOT THE PERIOD
Hu Tao: the zhongli influence fr
Aether: wait is zhongli their real dad???
Hu Tao: I dunno bro I just know they live together
Aether: I HOPE NOT COS ZHONGLI IS LIKE 24 AND XIAO'S 18
Hu Tao: LMAO I DIDN'T THINK OF THAG
Xiao: -_-
Aether: @kazuha @xiao interact
Xiao: …?
Kazuha: hi :)
Xiao:
Aether: XIAO PLS U NEED FRIENDS
Aether: ok u n me are going to kazuha's tonight
Aether: in the mean time try and make friends on here pls ,💔
Hu Tao: what about Albedo :) ur both quiet !
Albedo: I'm busy rn
Venti: GUESS WHO ISN'T BUSY RN
Xiao: no morax no
Zhongli: stay away from my child.
Venti: NO PLS
Hu Tao: hey I mean opposites attract so 🤔
Venti: come hang out with me n heizou 🧟
Venti: we are starting a band 🥰
Xiao: what kind of music?
Venti: UH
Aether: can I be apart of it
Venti: YESSSS
Heizou: we're gonna be such baddies fr
Venti: battle of the bands
Venti: we gonna have a documentary about us
Heizou: ok who does what tho
Aether: all I'm gonna say is Xiao CAN play bass ^-^
Heizou: omgg
Aether: I think maybe
Venti: ME VOCALS COS I SLAY
Aether: venti I've only ever heard ur drunk singing 😭
Aether: ok our lineup , venti, lead vocals, kazuha, lead guitar, me, guitar, Xiao, bass, and heizou, drums
Venti: IT ALL COMING TOGETHER
Aether: OUR FIRST SONG IS A COVER OF SHORT KINGS ANTHEM
Venti: STOP WE AREN'T THAT TINY
Aether: bro
Aether: Xiao is 5'3 😭💔
Xiao: :/
Aether: it's ADORABLE ur so teeny I can hold u 🥰
Xiao: ur only two inches taller
Aether: ok but that's irrelevant
Venti: GOT OWNED BY HIS OWN PARTNER
Aether: wait
Aether: I'm the only cis one in our new band 😭
Kazuha: ?
Aether: u all use they/them and heizou uses he/they lmaoooo
Kazuha: get fucked straightie
Aether: KAZUHA???!!!!!
Aether: I'm not even straight 😭💔
Kazuha: but still not quite like us
Aether: SHUT UP I KNOW
Aether: anyways guys
Aether: WE NEED A NAME
Venti: dicks pt.2
Kaeya: I am not giving u the copyright to use that
Venti: must suck to suck fr
Kazuha: I love watching people fight
Aether: EXCUSE ME
Kazuha: I can use my psychology major to fix them
Kazuha: I can fix them fr
Aether: but who wanna fix me 💔💔
Xiao: what does that mean?
Aether: babe ur more broken than me I don't think u can help
Kazuha: he means that he's so broken emotionally he needs fixed
Xiao: like a cat?
Aether: CATBOY XIAO
Aether: AEEEWEEWWWW MY LIL MEOW MEOW
Xiao: I like cats :)
Aether: I know what we are gonna be for halloween ^-^
Venti: why does no one want me to be their cat boy
Venti: @diluc pls
Aether: BRUHHH
Aether: DILUC ???? WHY HIM
Venti: he is sexc and would give my alcohol 🥺👍
Diluc: shut the fuck up
Xingqiu: HAS ANYONE SEEN CHONGYUN :(
Chongyun: I'm on my way home with xiangling :D
Xingqiu: NOOOOOOAUR
Chongyun: did we have plans or smth? :( I'm sorry
Xingqiu: No!!! I just wanted to talk to u about something hahahaha
Chongyun: can we just text about it?
Xingqiu: ohhh I see how it is u want me to slide into ur dms huh
Chongyun: ?
Xinyan: GET FUCKED
Xingqiu: uh so
Xingqiu: my fanfic is coming out so good bros ,, y'all aren't even ready fr
Hu Tao: Zhongli says he wants to read it again 😭😭
Xingqiu: fanfiction is for everyone Tao Tao 🥰
Xingqiu: believe me I've been in some rough fandoms fr
Hu Tao: never say fandoms to me again
Xingqiu: TAO ?? WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS
Aether: guys
Aether: Xiao is so precious
Venti: I WANt to meet them aether 🥺🥺
Aether: NAH stay tf away from my baby
Venti: 💔