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Beomgyu can count on one hand the number of people he would say yes to if they asked him out.
One of them was Yeonjun-hyung, of course.
Was, in the past tense. Now that’s history and they only smile when they pass each other in the halls, only converse when they’re ordering food together because they’re hanging out with the rest of the Tubatus.
Sometimes they chat at parties when they bump into each other, tipsy enough to good-naturedly reminisce the past.
Beomgyu stares at the message notification on his phone, heart beating in his throat.
“Beomgyu-yah, would you like to go out for dinner with me tomorrow?”
Soobin is not one of the people Beomgyu would have counted on that one hand. Not because he’s unattractive, but because Beomgyu has never even considered the possibility of Soobin liking him in that way.
Sure, they’re part of the same friend group, but Beomgyu always been closer to the maknaes, maybe even Yeonjun, at least when they were together. He and Soobin haven’t even talked much, although they have been gaming together a lot more recently. Beomgyu has been trying out new games and Soobin is coincidentally good in all of them.
Besides, Soobin is Yeonjun’s closest friend. Surely this has to be breaking the bro code on multiple levels.
But Soobin’s message is short and Beomgyu can’t decipher his tone over text. Is Soobin asking him out?
It is a little too random and its phrasing too serious to be a regular dinner, but it is still ambiguous.
Beomgyu taps in a reply and hits send before he can doubt himself. “Are you for real?” He can only hope Soobin understands what he means.
The typing bubble appears and disappears. Then appears and disappears again, and again, and again.
Beomgyu waits by his phone for a full five minutes, biting his nails off with nerves, before Soobin’s reply comes.
“Yes, I’m serious about this.”
It’s another curt message with no explanation attached, but there’s no mistaking it—he’s being asked out. Beomgyu tamps down the slight disappointment he feels at Soobin’s suddenly curt tone.
For the first time, he thinks about going on a date with Soobin, whom up till now has only been a gaming buddy.
Soobin is someone Beomgyu would categorise as kind and gentle. Playful and excitable when he’s around Yeonjun, but mostly calm. He knows when to be serious and when to loosen up. He has good skin and a pretty face, and Beomgyu knows of a few people who have harboured major crushes on him at some point.
Getting to know Soobin better doesn’t seem like too bad of an idea. Beomgyu hasn’t dated in a while.
“Sure, I’ll go out with you. But why me?”
This time, the typing bubble appears and disappears too many times and Beomgyu tires of waiting. He leaves his phone on the table so he doesn’t overthink and busies himself with tidying his room.
It’s a full twenty minutes later when his phone dings. He dives for it, eagerly reading Soobin’s text.
“You’re someone with a healing presence. You’re funny and witty and you make sure everyone is laughing when we’re in a group. You always look out for people around you and I like that about you. Even when we’re playing games, you always choose healer characters. I think you’re a lovely person and I’m thankful that you’re willing to go out with me.”
Soobin is already waiting when Beomgyu arrives at their rendezvous point. Soobin has gone blonde and his dimpled smile looks a little more nervous than usual, but Beomgyu can see the excited spark in his eyes and his ego inflates just a little bit.
“Wait long?” Beomgyu says as he strides over, grinning. “Nice hair, hyung.”
Soobin shakes his head. “Thank you.”
It’s a standard first date—they’re headed for a small, pretty-looking restaurant that Soobin made a reservation at. It’s a little bit out of the way and they have to walk past a field and through some dark alleys to get to it, but the evening air is crisp and Soobin is pleasant company.
There’s a little bit of a mix-up at the restaurant and they end up having to queue up despite the reservation, joining a surprisingly long line of people despite how tucked away the establishment is.
Soobin is pouting a little, sending Beomgyu worried glances every now and then, but Beomgyu laughs and pats his arm, telling him brightly, “It happens, let’s just wait.”
When they are finally shown to their table, Beomgyu realises that the menu looks exactly the same as the one from the café their friend group frequents.
He points this out, and Soobin does a quick search—to his mortification, the establishments are owned by the same person—but Beomgyu laughs it off again.
Soobin is pretty cute when he’s embarrassed.
The meal is relatively quiet—Soobin talks about the food and makes little observations under his breath, like “Beomgyu-ah, aren’t the lights pretty?”, but other than that, the gaps in conversations are filled with stolen glances and hesitant smiles.
Beomgyu goes home that night thinking about Soobin’s gentle smile against the backdrop of stars in the night.
“Beomgyu-yah!! Have you seen that new game that all the popular streamers have been playing together?”
“Which one do you mean?”
“It Takes Two! It’s a two-person co-op, I bought it because I thought it would be fun to play with you! :)”
Beomgyu’s heart sinks a little when he looks up the game and catches sight of its price. Soobin had bought such an expensive game just to play with him?
“I’d love to play, hyung, can I pay you? I’ll text you when I’m online later!”
“Don’t be silly!! See you later, Gyu!”
The game turns out to be about two distant lovers finding their way back to each other, salvaging a broken marriage and an unhappy home.
Beomgyu feels a little silly playing this—he supposes he would enjoy this game if he were playing with anyone else, but Soobin makes him feel nervous and excited and he can’t concentrate.
He gets stuck for a whole hour trying to clear a parkour scene. Soobin doesn’t tease him, just waits patiently while cheering him on.
Yeah, getting to know Soobin better definitely wasn’t a bad idea.
But what is a bad idea is this game—this time, it’s Beomgyu’s turn to embarrass himself with bad gameplay and horrible parkour skills. He can’t quite take himself seriously when he’s playing a game about lovers, especially during the finale when he and Soobin each have to hold a key so they can make their characters kiss.
He can’t even see Soobin’s pretty face, but he hears Soobin chuckle brightly over the voice call when the cutscene plays, and his thoughts become deafening.
It’s Huening’s turn to ask Soobin. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Soobin answers, and Yeonjun groans. “Boring.”
“I’ll make it interesting,” Huening promises, grinning. “Soobin-hyung, I think you’re the only one who’s been single the entire time we’ve known each other. Are you just not looking?”
The question has everyone sitting up—Soobin’s not exactly a quiet person, but he rarely shares about himself. Beomgyu probably knows more about his Semantics professor than about him.
They’re scattered across a king-sized bed. It’s too small to really fit five fully-grown men, but they squeeze in together with a few bags of chips and some soju, so it’s nice. Beomgyu has his legs splayed over Huening’s thighs and Taehyun’s head is on his shoulder.
They’d spontaneously taken a drive down to Busan over a long weekend and found some random, dingy hostel to room in. It’s musty but too bad considering its price point. Getting away with friends is always nice.
Soobin finally speaks, each word laced with weight. “I’m available, but I haven’t always been. I only started thinking about making myself available romantically this year, actually.
“I think it’d be nice to find someone.”
Soobin’s gaze flits over to Beomgyu and they lock eyes for a moment. Beomgyu nods in understanding. It’s not easy.
Soobin spends half an hour telling them about a lost love. Someone from his childhood, someone who had once been his ride or die. Someone who made him think ‘this is it’, and someone who made him look back every day for ten years since she left.
Soobin’s an impossibly dedicated person, is what Beomgyu deduces that night.
Soobin’s subsequent turns are all unforgiving, the Tubatus relentlessly honing in on Soobin’s love life.
Soobin likes both men and women, but has never dated anyone other than his first love. Soobin doesn’t like anyone at the moment, but his ideal type is someone caring, and someone who loves to swim, since he loves swimming. Soobin asks if it’s appropriate to ask someone out to swim on a first date, and the Tubatus laugh and tell him no. Then Soobin asks for Beomgyu’s opinion, and Beomgyu shrugs and tells him that it depends on how well you already know your date.
Beomgyu misses the strange look Yeonjun shoots at Soobin.
The second date goes well too, but Beomgyu is getting a little bored.
He still doesn’t know much about Soobin, other than his favourite colours (sky blue and yellow) and the fact that that he absolutely hates avocado.
Soobin’s always so careful around Beomgyu, always so nice and respectful, as if he’s handling a fragile object. Beomgyu is a little sick of having doors held for him and seeing the polite, dimpled smile that hides Soobin’s real thoughts.
“Do you remember the time you bought a cute mug for me all the way from Switzerland?” Beomgyu asks, kicking his feet.
He’s not feeling chatty—he never quite does with Soobin, but the silence is beginning to get to him.
Soobin blinks in surprise. “You asked me to buy you that.”
Beomgyu grins, stabbing his grilled chicken with a fork. “Yeah, I didn’t think you would agree. I mean, we barely talked, till now.”
Soobin considers this carefully, and Beomgyu hates the way he can see the cogs turning behind Soobin’s eyes, but can’t see or decipher any emotion.
Soobin’s walls are so high and Beomgyu wants so badly to be let in, because he knows Soobin’s soul is as beautiful as he is.
“I liked you, even back then,” Soobin replies. There’s a ghost of a smile on his face.
Beomgyu short circuits. “It’s been that long?”
Soobin’s trip to Switzerland had happened sometime before Beomgyu and Yeonjun were dating, all the way back when they were first years and their interactions consisted entirely of late night suppers, when Beomgyu would watch with hearts in his eyes as Yeonjun bickered with Soobin.
Soobin nods. “I’ve liked you for a long time, Beomgyu-yah.”
Beomgyu’s heart does a somersault. “Does Yeonjun-hyung know about this?”
Soobin furrows his brows. “No, he doesn’t, although I believe he suspects something.”
“What are you planning to do?”
“I haven’t worked that part about Yeonjun-hyung out yet,” Soobin confesses, and it’s not reassuring at all with how many of the same circles Soobin and Yeonjun are part of, but Beomgyu smiles and shakes his head anyway.
“Well, tell me when you have it figured out.”
But Soobin just shrugs, bright and carefree, like he only has eyes for Beomgyu and nothing else matters.
Soobin and Beomgyu don’t talk much outside of their gaming sessions. When they do talk, their conversations flow easily, always light-hearted and pleasant.
But that’s exactly the problem.
They’re only ever light-hearted and pleasant, and when Soobin tells Beomgyu about his day, he never really includes what he feels about it, or what’s on his mind. It’s always about how he reacts, what he does.
Soobin is a problem solver and a logical person, someone who takes life one step at a time and handles everything thoroughly.
After a while, their conversations get repetitive and Beomgyu finds himself not wanting to reply to his texts any more, so he doesn’t.
They never quite fell into the habit of texting regularly, so it’s easy to tune Soobin out and get caught up in the never-ending rush of assignments and other friends. Beomgyu stops looking for Soobin to spend time with, and he seems to notice this, distancing himself even when they hang out with the Tubatus.
Soobin always lingers in the back of his mind, but Beomgyu can’t quite bring himself to tell him that he’s no longer interested. He lets his unread messages sit for two, three days before returning half-assed texts.
He feels like an asshole, and maybe he is one, but he doesn’t want to make Soobin sad.
It doesn’t occur to Beomgyu that maybe he already is.
Soobin is the one to reach out first, he always is. Beomgyu reads the notification from Soobin on his lock screen with his heart in his throat again, but this time with guilt and not anticipation.
“Hey Gyu, you doing alright? :( I noticed that recently our communication hasn’t been like it used to. Is something wrong?”
Beomgyu hates himself for the relief he feels.
“Sorry, Soobin-hyung. I just can’t see us working out…”
Soobin is one of the loveliest people Beomgyu’s ever met, but he craves emotional connection, something that Soobin seems unwilling to have. He learned more about Yeonjun in a week than in the entire two months of dating Soobin.
The message bubble appears and disappears once again, but this time the reply comes faster.
“I understand, Beomgyu-yah. Thanks for telling me. Would you still like to hang out as friends, or is that too awkward for you?”
Beomgyu replies with a lie. “I’d love to hang out with you, hyung.”
They don’t talk any more after that.
Beomgyu is a hit at his new workplace.
Of course he is; he’s always been somewhat popular wherever he goes with an attractive face and magnetic personality, drawing people in with a tinkling laugh and wave of his hands.
He thanks his mother for his big, beauty-standard eyes when he receives three confessions within the first two months of arriving there. He feels bad rejecting them, but hey, it feels good to be admired. Beomgyu has always thrived off attention.
Still, he can only count on one hand the number of people he would say yes to if they asked him out.
Since Soobin, that number had increased from four to five, but remained stagnant after that.
He’s sure that no one will ever quite meet his standards again.
Beomgyu is on a dating app these days, fully feeling the impact of being single now that he is out on the workforce where most are dating or happily married.
But swiping is a daily activity that he does with much dread. There’s never quite anyone he really wants to talk to, and all the connections feel superficial and shallow.
How many of his matches come only from the fact that he actually looks good in selfies, he doesn’t know.
He finds himself thinking of Soobin more and more often and beats himself up every time. He doesn’t deserve to think about Soobin, not when he’s the one who had pushed him away. But when he closes his eyes, he imagines Soobin’s eye-crinkling smile, the sincerity behind each word that he says, and finds himself wondering why he never reached out to take Soobin’s hand first.
Soobin was hard to make emotional connection with, but at least he had sincerely liked Beomgyu.
He still does as a friend, even though Beomgyu hurt him. He still smiles warmly when the Tubatus meet for a drink, still laughs loudly when Beomgyu makes a joke, still seeks him out when Beomgyu’s a bit quieter than usual. Always a gentleman.
“I’ve been thinking about Soobin-hyung a lot more recently,” Beomgyu admits to Taehyun one day when they’re out for ice cream.
Taehyun is having cookies and cream and Beomgyu opts for lychee gelato because he desperately needs something sweet to sweep away the mundane routine of life.
“Soobin-hyung?” Taehyun repeats, setting his ice cream down. “What about him?”
“He’s nice.”
There’s a look in Taehyun’s eyes that Beomgyu doesn’t like. “He’s nice, that’s not new. And?”
“And… and I wish I knew him better.”
Taehyun stares at Beomgyu as if he’s grown two heads.
“Then talk to him,” he says, and there’s a note of finality in his tone, as if it’s that simple.
“I can’t,” Beomgyu protests. “I mean, it’s weird.”
Taehyun narrows his eyes. “Did something happen?”
Beomgyu bites his lip. He never told anyone about Soobin asking him out. He wasn’t necessarily hiding it, but it had just never quite become deep enough to talk about to anybody.
He tells Taehyun about Soobin, about Soobin’s crush on Beomgyu for about three years, about dating him, about what a gentleman Soobin is, about how he wishes he had fallen in love with Soobin, about how if everyone is as kind as Soobin is then world peace would exist, and Taehyun stops him there with an annoyed wave of his hand.
“You’re not in love with Soobin? What a load of horseshit,” Taehyun says.
It feels like a slap to Beomgyu’s face.
“What?” Beomgyu says, shock written all over his face. And then, quietly, “What?”
“You waxed poetry about Yeonjun-hyung the year you were dating,” Taehyun sighs. “And you sound exactly the same right now.”
Beomgyu frowns. “I can’t be in love with him—I don’t even know him that well. Hell, I don’t even know whether he enjoyed our dates, I remember being bored as hell.”
“You want to know him that well,” Taehyun tilts his head. “If that isn’t at least a massive crush, then I don’t know what is.”
“I just want to be his friend again. I wish I could.”
Taehyun raises a brow. “You still can.”
“No, I can’t,” Beomgyu whines petulantly.
“Hyung, stop being an idiot and go and talk to him. He’s not the type to hold grudges, we both know this. You were the one told me how easily he forgave you for fucking ghosting him.”
Beomgyu hangs his head. The guilt is loud again, reminding him of how easily he had dismissed Soobin’s feelings. “I just don’t want to hurt him again.”
“Then don’t.”
Yeonjun’s birthday is coming up and the chat group titled 20th century man’s gift (Taehyun named the chat) is active again. It comes alive every year at this time.
This year, it’s Beomgyu’s turn to decide on a gift—but he doesn’t quite know what Yeonjun would like this time, so he invites the others out to go gift shopping.
The texts come only when Beomgyu is already waiting for them at IKEA—Huening is down with COVID-19, and Taehyun excuses himself as well, saying he’s been a close contact.
(Taehyun privately messages Beomgyu a winky face emoji and an, “Enjoy yourself!” afterward, so Beomgyu knows the maknaes are lying.)
Soobin looks gorgeous today.
He’s not wearing anything particularly out of character today, just the usual white tee and figure-hugging pants, but is it just Beomgyu, or are his shoulders broader and the muscles under his sleeves more prominent?
Soobin’s smile is as warm as the afternoon sun. “Hey, Gyu. Did you see the texts? Looks like it’s just us today.”
Beomgyu musters up a smile, ignoring the storm of butterflies that erupts in his stomach. Why is he so nervous? It’s just Soobin. It’s someone he wants to be friends with.
Someone he wronged.
“I’m thankful it’s you.”
Soobin’s eyebrows shoot up, so slightly that Beomgyu would have missed it if it if he weren’t watching so closely. Beomgyu hastily adds, “Because you know Yeonjun-hyung the best.”
Soobin visibly relaxes, and Beomgyu can’t tamp down the hurt that rises in him and claws at his gut, a beastly, ugly thing that makes its home in the pit of his stomach.
Soobin really hadn’t wanted anything to do with Beomgyu again. Not in that way.
“I suggested IKEA because he’s been talking about wanting to change up his room recently,” Soobin says, good-naturedly as always. “Thought we could find him something for his room makeover here.”
Beomgyu jumps at the opportunity to talk about something else, anything else, a little too eagerly.
“Really? Did he say what he wanted to do?”
Soobin shakes his head, frowning.
IKEA is always fun to go shopping in—Beomgyu and Soobin each get a vanilla cone being sold for only 600 won at the entrance and walk in, pointing out different furnitures and chatting about Yeonjun’s possible room layouts.
“Hyung likes purple,” Beomgyu says, sitting on a bed in a showroom that is decidedly purple-themed. The bedspread is a dark, muted purple amidst a backdrop of black and purple surfaces. “This duvet suits him. How about a bedspread?”
Soobin’s back is turned as he inspects the desk in the showroom. “But then we’d be deciding the colour theme for him. Probably best we go for something neutral that would suit anything.”
Beomgyu pads over to Soobin, who is running his finger over the grains of the wooden desk. His head is tilted down and he can’t quite see his expression.
“Do you have anything in mind, hyung?”
Soobin’s tone is oddly decisive when he answers, “Yes, that plant we saw near the entrance.”
Beomgyu groans. “Already? I wanted to walk around some more…”
Soobin looks up, lips pursed as if he’s trying to hide a smile. “If that’s what you want, we can still see the rest of IKEA.”
Beomgyu brightens up.
Soobin helps Beomgyu to carry the plant home.
It’s a relatively big one and even Soobin struggles, but he refuses to let Beomgyu help and insists that Beomgyu needs both hands to carry the giant shark plushie that Soobin had bought him.
When they finally get home, Soobin sets the plant down quickly and all but collapses on Beomgyu’s couch, panting. Beomgyu laughs, trying not to think about planting a kiss on his nose. “Thanks, hyung. I don’t know how I would have managed these without you.”
Soobin looks at him incredulously. “You wouldn’t have had to, of course, not while I’m here.”
Beomgyu’s heart thuds traitorously, and he curses himself. You can’t think about Choi Soobin like that, you don’t deserve him.
“You must be tired. Rest up, hyung, I’ll get you a drink.”
Beomgyu pretends he has almond milk stocked up in his fridge because he likes it. He definitely did not buy it thinking of Soobin.
“You drink almond milk?” Soobin’s eyes curve into crescents when Beomgyu hands a glass to him, sighing happily after taking a sip.
“Sometimes! Not often.” Only when I think about you.
“Thought you said you don’t like it!”
Oh, shoot. “Uh… I started liking it more recently because Yeonjun-hyung kept talking about its health benefits or whatever.”
“Do you talk to him a lot still?”
“Sometimes,” Beomgyu admits. “We started talking more after I graduated. Maybe because we have more in common now?”
“That’s good. He talks about you often,” Soobin is still smiling warmly, but something in his tone feels strange. It makes Beomgyu feel like he’s committed a trespass and he scoots closer to Soobin, desperate. Desperate to be let in, desperate to hear Soobin speak warmly to him again. “Really? What does he say?”
“He talks about how well you’re doing in life with work and everything.”
“What was your reply, hyung?” Beomgyu wants so badly to take Soobin’s hand. He wants, needs to know what Soobin thinks of him, too.
Soobin’s gaze softens, and Beomgyu feels the icicles around his heart start to thaw.
“I said ‘of course our Gyu is doing well.’”
“But… I haven’t really,” Beomgyu deflates slightly. Between feeling guilty about Soobin and being stressed out from work, he hasn’t been doing all that well.
Beomgyu’s heart leaps out of his throat when Soobin gently places a thumb on his chin, coaxing Beomgyu to relax. He hadn’t even realised he was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.
“Are you doing alright? What’s wrong?” Soobin speaks slowly, kind but firm, not at all patronising like Beomgyu expected him to be. It makes him want to melt into Soobin’s chest.
“You asked me that too, when we stopped talking,” Beomgyu blurts out, eyes widening in horror when he realises what he just said, and quickly tacks on a, “M’sorry, hyung.”
Soobin looks perplexed. “Sorry about what?”
“About ghosting you, back then. About lying to you and saying I wanted to be friends and then ghosting you again.”
Soobin’s perplexity gives way to something more measured. But this time, Beomgyu can see through his mask, because he’s feeling the same way. Soobin is hurt and sad, and his heart aches.
“It’s alright. I understand that you didn’t have room for me. Thank you for giving me a chance, anyway.”
Now it’s Beomgyu’s turn to be confused. “Room for you? What do you mean?”
“Room in your heart, I mean.”
That answers nothing.
“You still like Yeonjun-hyung, I can tell. It’s okay, you don’t have to feel sorry. I shouldn’t have been hopeful when we started talking, I kind of knew all along.”
What.
Beomgyu shakes his head furiously. How did Yeonjun become part of the picture? “Soobin-hyung, I think you’re misunderstanding things. I don’t like Yeonjun-hyung. I never have, not after we broke up. He’s nice to talk to, but just as a friend, you know?”
Soobin studies Beomgyu, who keeps his face as straight as possible. He needs to know how serious Beomgyu is about this.
He seems to find what he’s looking for and leans back, frowning. “You really don’t like him? I thought… I thought you stopped talking to me because of him. You talk about each other a lot.”
“Soobin-hyung, I,” Beomgyu starts, but his mouth is dry and he has to swallow and lick his lips before he can speak again. He tries not to think about the way Soobin’s eyes follow the motion, something dark and yet hopeful now alight in his gaze.
“I talked about him because it felt like we didn’t have a lot of common topics, so I… I mean, I really wanted to talk to you more. That’s why…” Beomgyu trails off. His mind is sprinting at fifty miles per hour, but forming words has become harder than choosing a gift.
“I’m sorry I stopped talking to you. I just wanted to know you better, but you never really talked about your feelings and I guess I was kind of disappointed.”
Soobin’s head is tilted back ponderingly. It’s silent for a moment. “Is that what you wanted?”
Beomgyu can only nod. “I still want to know you better. You don’t talk about yourself, you never do. I can’t read you, hyung. It felt like you were shutting me out all the time.”
When Soobin finally looks back at Beomgyu, the light in his eyes has grown into something else, something more determined and fiery.
“My feelings for you have always been strong, Gyu-ah. I liked you for three years back then, and even now, I still do. I tried moving on, but,” Soobin cuts himself off here, then shakes his head and continues again. Beomgyu’s throat feels drier than sandpaper.
“I’m sorry it felt like I was shutting you out. I just… wanted to show you only the best sides of myself, I guess? But I couldn’t, because I was jealous of Yeonjun-hyung, so I didn’t say much.
“I’m not used to talking about myself a lot, but if it’s you, I will try. It’s not going to be easy, but if you ask, I will answer you honestly.”
Beomgyu likes this Soobin, the one who is certain of himself, the one who is confident enough to finally say what he thinks. And Beomgyu is proud to be the one to have given him that confidence.
“And I’m sorry for not telling you all this and just retreating like a coward,” Beomgyu pouts. The emotions that flit through his being, slow enough to feel but too fast to catch, are all dangerous. “I still like you, a lot. To tell you the truth, I bought almond milk because I missed you.”
Soobin’s eyes which hold the stars disappear into crescents. “I missed you too. So much.”
This time, Beomgyu doesn’t miss the chance to reach out and take Soobin’s hand. It’s not as warm as he imagined, but it is soft and firm when he squeezes Beomgyu’s.
“Can I kiss you, Gyu?”
Beomgyu forgets how to breathe for a bit, but he nods mutely and suddenly Soobin is all he can breathe in, his lips as warm as summer rain and kisses as honest as his words. He kisses Beomgyu like a prayer, hands on his waist pulling him closer, closer, like he’s been holding back for too long and he wants to absolutely drown in Beomgyu’s presence.
And Beomgyu wants Soobin to let him in so badly, and so he puts all his wants and desires into the kiss, tongues intertwining and teeth knocking against each other clumsily. He paints his desperation into the way he tangles his fingers into Soobin’s blonde mop of hair and tugs, into the way he presses up against Soobin’s chest as they kiss, into the way he pants for Soobin when they pull apart for air.
Soobin only places a finger on Beomgyu’s lips when he whines, planting a kiss on the younger’s forehead.
“Not today, Beomgyu-yah. Let’s figure ourselves out first, shall we? I don’t want you to regret anything.”
Beomgyu finds himself thinking about Taehyun’s words. He smiles breathlessly, running a hand through Soobin’s hair to pat down the unruly mess that he made of it. “The only thing I’ll regret is hurting you again, Soobin-hyung.”
He seeks out Soobin’s hand again and intertwines their fingers. “So I won’t.”