Chapter Text
Valentine’s Day. It had never really meant much for Roy but this Valentine’s would mean something. At least, he hoped so. Who would have thought that Roy would be there, standing at Edward’s door, with a bouquet of roses on Valentine’s? Just a year back, Roy would have never even thought of such a thing. It was so absurd. It still was, Roy had never really been the type to bring roses to anyone… a year could change a lot, apparently.
Roy knocked, waiting for the door to be opened, his heart beating so hard it nearly hurt. He tried to find the words but his throat felt like sandpaper and he was grateful that he had decided to get a card too and had written a silly little thing on it… so maybe he wouldn’t even have to try and talk. The door was opened and Roy swallowed, facing Ed.
“Come on in,” the man said, barely even glancing at Roy and he walked back into his apartment. Roy didn’t know if he was relieved that Ed hadn’t noticed the roses on Roy’s hand or if he was distressed because Roy just wanted to get it over and done with. He followed Ed to the kitchen and found him sitting on the window panel, looking thoughtful.
“Okay, I have to ask you something before we get coffee and talk about shit.”
After getting Al’s body back and finishing the contract with the military, Roy and Ed had become… friends. Or something like it. It had started at a party – someone’s birthday or wedding? Roy couldn’t remember – Ed had heard Roy talking about alchemy and had decided to join in on the conversation. Naturally, it had been about alchemy, after all. And there they were, exchanging theories, talking about possibilities and suddenly their talks became a regular thing. Suddenly they talked not only about alchemy but… everything.
“Yes? What is it?”
Ed grabbed something and handed it to Roy. It was a wrapped little gift. Roy just stood there, staring at the gift. Could it be? Could it possibly be that Ed had gotten him a gift, because he too felt that there was something between them…? Every glance, smile, subtle touch… suddenly they meant so much. Roy had been sure he was only seeing too much into them because of his feelings. But maybe he wasn’t the only one feeling them.
The fact that they could talk all night, not getting bored. The fact that when Ed had broken up with Winry, he had come to Roy and they had gotten drunk (because it was the only solution when it came to dealing with a break up, at least if you asked from Roy) and Ed had said ‘you know… it’s better this way. I don’t know if it makes any sense but sometimes when I was with her, I was kinda hoping I could be with you, like this, just talking about shit you know…’
Roy had wanted to kiss him so badly but he was a coward, he hadn’t dared to.
But now. Maybe, maybe, maybe, Roy’s heart kept on whispering. It had been doing it for a year already but it had never been so loud, so full of hope. And then Ed said only three simple words that killed every bit of hope Roy had held on to.
“It’s for Winry.”
Oh. Right. Of course. Roy wanted to smack himself in the face. Stupid. How could he be so goddamn stupid?! Imagining such idiotic things in his silly little brain, like a little school girl, dreaming about a crush… foolish, so pathetic.
Roy swallowed, doing his best to keep his emotions and expressions controlled when he said: “For Winry? On Valentine’s?”
Ed shrugged. “Gotta get her something if I wanna get her back, don’t I?”
Oh. Ed wanted to get back with Winry. And he had gotten her a gift ‘because apparently that’s what people do’ and Roy looked like the biggest idiot ever, standing there, still holding – or at that point, more like squeezing – the roses meant for Ed. They talked nearly every day and yet Ed hadn’t even hinted that he would want Winry back… at the moment, Roy wished so much that Ed would have done that.
“I guess so, but… why? I mean, I thought you were happy with the way things were.” With us, like this.
“I don’t know. I guess… we had something good, right? I should’ve tried more and not just throw it away.”
All the things Roy wanted to say… ‘Sometimes, with some people it’s not about trying. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. But you will find someone with whom it does work. Someone with whom it will work so well you don’t even have to try, or at least not wonder if you should be trying more when you’re already doing everything you can’. But he didn’t. Because he was afraid he couldn’t help adding something like ‘with someone like… me?’
“So anyways. I just wanted to ask if the wrapping’s alright. It’s a bitch wrapping shit with the automail.”
“It’s perfect,” Roy said softly.
Perhaps it was the tone of his voice that made Ed finally properly look at him.
“What’s with the roses?”
Roy lifted the bouquet, staring at the letter that had ‘Edward’ on it with his handwriting.
“They’re for my date.”
Roy tried his best to smile but he was sure he was failing and judging by the way Ed’s eyebrows knitted together, he was failing badly.
“I actually just came by to tell you that I don’t have time to have coffee today.”
Ed was quiet for a moment and then he huffed: “You could have just called.”
“She lives nearby, so…”
“Right.”
Was Ed actually annoyed that Roy wasn’t staying? Roy was sure of it and it was so unfair. Ed most likely wanted to talk about Winry, of course he would be nervous about asking her to try again… but right now, Roy just couldn’t handle it. If he would have known, if he had had time to control his emotions he would be alright with it all. But right now he just had to leave.
“What is it?” Roy asked and nodded towards the gift.
“It’s… earrings. Yeah, it’s stupid, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not. She will love them.”
Ed glanced at Roy and huffed again. “If she won’t, I’ll punch you.”
“Alright.” Kiss your knuckles before you do.
“So, I’ll see you later?”
Ed shrugged. “Sure, whatever.”
“Well, good luck then.”
“Thanks, bastard.”
Roy forced a smile and left. When he was behind the closed door of Ed’s apartment, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Idiot.
Well, at least he hadn’t shoved the roses to Ed and had come up with an explanation for them just like that. It would have been humiliating as hell but even worse, it might have ruined their friendship, or whatever it was. And at least now there was no reason whatsoever to hold on to hope, he now knew it would only be in vain.
On his way out of the yard, he tossed the bouquet to a dumpster.