Work Text:
mike wheeler is looking up at this — person? little boy? no, no, that's not right. this silly fellow is above gender. you might even say that this fellow collects gender. like a... what's the word? like a collector, but the only one. the collector.
mike wheeler pats himself on the back for this one. look at him go, little genius straight boy without a homoerotic friendship with a little sad white boy. "should i slay," mike asks the collector, "or should i go?"
"i should slay," the collector says with a giggle. the collector steps forward. "bye bitch!"
they slay mike wheeler. thank god.
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kate, dirty blond and forever looking like every white boy beloved by gays on Twitter, looks up at god accusingly. "and you mean to tell me moon knight HASN'T BEEN RENEWED?"
god shrugs, hidden behind a mask, obscuring their entire face. "sorry, that's between capitalism and the indomitable, beautiful oscar Isaac."
"at least you gave us oscar Isaac," kate says, and god laughs, softly.
"gave you oscar Isaac?" god moves to remove their mask, lithe fingers snapping it out of place. kate watches. the mask clatters to the ground, a gunslinger smile flashing at kate, soft brown skin illuminated by the faint afterglow of heaven. kate's eyes widen. "i AM oscar Isaac."
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oscar isaac, full-time actor and all-time god, watches as kate stares in disbelief. "yeah, got you there didn't i?"
"what — huh — EFHFH." kate has lost the ability to speak, despite being an avid user of duolingo. if there's anything they should be able to do, it's speak languages.
"don't worry." oscar isaac laughs. "I'll make sure disney takes up your request."
"you better," kate whispers.
"I'm being serious," oscar isaac/God says. very seriously. "you're my favorite silly white boy, you know?"
kate blinks. "really?"
"yeah! i loved you in heartstopper."
kate kills god.