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“Beidou, Beidou– Beidou –”
Beidou opens her eyes groggily, staring out into the dark space of the bedroom as she feels herself being shaken — she turns her head to find Ningguang rocking her back and forth, quietly repeating Beidou’s name over and over and over again.
Beidou groans, swatting Ningguang’s hands away; she rubs at her eyes before looking at the woman to see Ningguang with her brows pulled taut. She frowns in return, setting herself up on her elbow as she shakes her tiredness off.
“What is it?”
“My teeth hurt, Beidou,” Ningguang complains, voice strained and teeth gritted.
“Again?” Beidou mumbles, rolling her eyes and reaching over for the nightstand before she pulls on the string attached to her lamp. The room fills with a soft yellow before she pulls out her drawer and rummages around in it for some spare painkillers. She hands them to Ningguang and gestures for her to put them in her mouth before handing her a bottle of water along with it.
Ningguang gulps the medicine down like it's the only thing keeping her alive, sighing in contentment before she remembers that the pain is in fact still there and that the pills don’t work instantly. She groans, sinking into the mattress before shuffling closer to Beidou and burying herself within Beidou’s hold — she wraps her arms around her torso and hugs her tight, locking their legs together as she tries to ignore the throbbing of her gums.
Beidou leans down, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head before carding her calloused fingers through the ashen locks soothingly, “My star, you’ve been complaining about your teeth for ages now. For the love of the Archons above, please go get it checked out at the dentist’s.”
Ningguang mumbles a muffled ‘no’, shaking her head against Beidou’s chest as she huffs — she finds the idea ludicrous .
Ningguang doesn’t remember the last time she had been to the dentist, as disgusting and unhygienic as that sounds, and she isn’t planning on paying a visit anytime soon. At the beginning of their relationship, Beidou had had no clue what Ningguang’s aversion to oral hygiene was but as they fell deeper and deeper into their conversations about irrational fears, Ningguang’s dread of the dentist had eventually come tumbling out of her mouth.
It had started when she was a little child — being the sweet-toothed little monster she was, she ended up having to visit the dentist more often than any of her other friends. The problem wasn’t simply the doctor himself; it was the dull yet pristine white walls that ran on into eternity, it was the tortuous wait in the lobby that seemed to go on forever, it was all those unknown people treading around her with masks and gloves like some sort of horror movie.
But the worst part of all, the most terrifying part was of course when she was in the chair; being lowered down, seeing this ominous-looking man with his face covered peer over her, his brow pulled down as he prodded and poked in her mouth. Oh, how she hated the sound and feeling of those metal tools scraping and scratching against her teeth, hated the suction of his little pipe and hated the unavoidably vile flavour of the little creams and filaments he’d shove in there.
Her parents would have to drag her into the building, battling the screaming and crying of her childish tantrum as they tried to bribe her with all different types of sweets and goods, even if it went against the whole point of their visit. Ningguang would refuse, tugging on the steel grip her parents had on her wrists as they’d pull her further and further into the white abyss of the freakishly clean hallways. When it came time to sit down in the chair, the dentist would rise from his chair, pulling his medical mask over his face as he loomed over Ningguang, metal tools of death and destruction in his hands as he slowly lowered them towards Ningguang’s face.
But then too came the period where she had to go get her braces done; no matter how much she begged or tried to convince her parents that her teeth were already perfect, they still insisted that she absolutely needed them. And so came the next two years of pure agony — monthly visits to the dentist, mouth uncomfortably tight and sore whenever she would leave the building and anxiety already building up for the next appointment.
That’s why, as the word dentist leaves Beidou’s mouth, Ningguang curls into her, holding onto Beidou as if her life depends on it. She shakes her head in protest and Beidou sighs, pressing a kiss to Ningguang’s hair.
“Why not?”
“You know why not, Beidou,” Ningguang huffs, “And you know that everytime you suggest it, I shut it down.”
“You’re going to be in pain for the rest of your life if you don’t get your wisdom teeth removed at some point, Ning’.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
Beidou raises a sceptical eyebrow as she looks down at Ningguang — Ningguang looks back at her and she can’t seem to keep her serious expression as her lips break into a pout.
“I’m calling them first thing in the morning,” Beidou finally decides, ignoring the way Ningguang’s face drenches in anxiety.
“No– no– you’re not–”
Beidou promptly cuts Ningguang off by covering her mouth with her hand, looking down at her with a stern look. “Right– that’s enough, go to sleep.”
Ningguang tries to retaliate but her sentences come out as muffled groans and huffs as Beidou curls her hand tighter around Ningguang’s lips. Eventually, she gives up, shoulders slumping as she rolls over to the other side of the bed with a frown. She can hear Beidou laugh faintly behind her, shuffling closer and slotting her leg between Ningguang’s before wrapping her arms around her waist. Ningguang wants to be stubborn, wants to move even further away from Beidou but she couldn’t ever get enough of Beidou’s warm, comforting embrace and so she stays (unwillingly, of course) and lets the woman coddle and cuddle her to sleep.
—
The sun is just barely visible through the window blinds as Ningguang cracks her eyes open, rubbing closed fists against her lids as she tries to rid herself of her drowsiness. Her hand comes to cradle her cheek, wincing in pain as she bites down and feels the soreness from her teeth shoot up her skull. She rolls over, free arm out and in search of Beidou before she realises that Beidou isn’t there. She groans, rolling over onto her back as she tries to collect her thoughts — where could that woman even possibly be? Had she gone out on one of her runs? Ningguang turns her head and looks over to the red digits of Beidou’s alarm and the numbers read 10:19 — she decides that that means that Beidou would’ve already returned. And Archons, she does a double take of the time, she had woken up late today.
Ningguang groans, once more, before pulling the covers off of her and carefully setting her feet down on the floor. Her hand is still cupping her cheek, eyes narrowed in pain as she stands up with a huff and walks towards the door. She goes to open it but stops in her tracks as she hears Beidou talking just outside.
Ningguang’s interest is piqued once she realises that Beidou seems to be talking on the phone to someone; she sneaks up to the door, pressing the side of her face that hurts the least up against the wood. She doesn’t seem to pick up on anything, not when Beidou is pacing back and forth, but soon enough, Beidou seems to walk closer to the door, standing just in front of it for a while and Ningguang takes this opportunity to eavesdrop.
“Ah– I think it’s her wisdom teeth, she’s been complaining about them for a while.”
Ningguang’s brow pulls into a frown as she realises who Beidou is talking to. She can’t seem to make out what the other end is saying but she listens intently to what Beidou says back to them.
“No, I’m– I’m not booking for my child, it’s for my wife, she’s just asleep right now. Yes, okay, one thirty’s good, yes. Thank you, have a nice day.”
Ningguang can faintly hear the beep of the phone hanging up and she barely has time to register Beidou’s footsteps growing closer and closer towards the door. She panics, head whipping around in both directions before she’s running towards their bed. Just as the door opens, she trips, catching her foot on the edge of the bed which sends her flying to the floor.
She lands with a thud on the ground, head thrown back in agony as she quickly brings her foot up to cradle it. She hisses out in pain, feeling the way her toe stings and aches with each passing second.
“...Ningguang?”
Ningguang cranes her head up just enough to see Beidou standing there by the door and groans out in exasperation, letting her head fall back down and hit the ground. She rolls over to her side and turns her face away from Beidou, shame and embarrassment rising through her chest as she feels Beidou’s gaze on her. She grinds her teeth, lips quivering with the pain in her foot and the humiliation of the whole situation — the last thing Beidou could have ever expected was walking into their bedroom to see her wife rolling around on the floor in agony.
“I’m– I–” Ningguang swallows and shakes her head. She tries to push her words out and in the end, they only slip past her lips as a quiet, pained mutter, “I don’t want to go to the dentist.”
Beidou rolls her eye, “Stop it, Ningguang, I’ve already scheduled an appointment.”
Ningguang bites down on her bottom lip and huffs, shielding her red face with her forearm, “I hate you so much, you’re– you’re a cruel woman, Beidou and I want a divorce .”
Beidou crosses her arms and glares at Ningguang — she’s curled up on the floor, one hand cupping the foot that she had stubbed while the other arm covers her beet-red face.
“Get up off the floor.”
Ningguang hits a closed fist against the ground and huffs, lips forming a pout, “You’re a monster .”
—
“Beidou, put me down this instant!”
Ningguang pounds her fists against Beidou’s back but the woman pays no mind to her as she continues going about her business as if she didn’t have a grown person slung over her shoulder. Ningguang tries to flail her legs around but they’re held tightly in place by Beidou’s arm.
The door closes behind them and gods, what if the neighbours see them like this? What would they say then? What would they think of Ningguang the next time they came around for tea? Ningguang huffs, face bright red as she simply watches the ground beneath her move; soon comes the sound of the car doors and she’s set down on the ground shortly after. She knows that there isn’t any point in trying to run back inside the house and so she sits down in the car, buckling herself in before crossing her arms across her chest and huffing. Her brow is pulled tightly in a frown as she looks out the window and waits for Beidou to get in and start the engine — she doesn’t miss the opportunity to check her make-up in the car mirror.
The engine of the car starts and as Beidou backs out of their driveway, she puts her hand on Ningguang’s thigh and rubs her thumb comfortingly over the fabric of her clothes.
“They’re just doing a check on you, alright? You’re not getting anything pulled out today.”
Ningguang does not respond.
Instead, she looks out the window, lips sticking out in a pout and a frown carved into her face. Beidou glances over and sighs, reaching out for Ningguang’s hand and intertwining their fingers; Ningguang doesn’t make an effort to pull her hand away, finding the repetitive circles of Beidou’s thumb on her skin comforting but she makes sure to let Beidou know she isn’t pleased with the huff she lets out.
The car journey is short and it’s only when she steps out of the car that the anxiety really starts to build within Ningguang. She tries to reassure herself, tries to tell herself that it was a silly childish fear that she shouldn’t let affect her like this but the memories of her childhood appointments loom over her head like a bad storm. She clutches onto Beidou’s hand as if her life depended on it as the doors open and she’s met with the medically clean whiteness of the walls. The room is almost silent except for the whirring of some printer in the background and the quiet chatter of the staff behind the front desk.
Beidou drags Ningguang along up to the front and waits for one of the staff members to end their phone call. The woman gives her a bright smile.
“How can I help you today?”
“I had an appointment booked for today — at half past one.”
“Could I get the name for the appointment?”
Beidou looks back at Ningguang with a raised eyebrow but soon she comes to the conclusion that Ningguang was still not speaking to her. She sighs and turns back to the lady, “Yin Ningguang.”
The lady repeats the name under her breath as she types it into the system; her eyebrows quirk up once she finds the name and she looks up to give Beidou a firm smile — she casts a look to Ningguang who’s hiding behind Beidou but doesn’t pay it much mind.
“Take a seat upstairs and the dentist will be with you shortly.”
As Ningguang steps into the waiting room, hand clutched tightly in Beidou’s, she immediately feels the way her lungs hollow for air. Beidou leads her to one of the empty seats and leans over to press a kiss to her cheek.
“You’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”
There are fifteen seats in the waiting area (seven of which are occupied, mostly by children), two windows facing south and six doors. One of those seems to lead to a storage unit while the other five lead to different clinics, some of the doors open and some of the doors closed and occupied. Ningguang squeezes down on Beidou’s hand in equal increments of ten seconds, matching an inhale and an exhale to each squeeze. When she closes her eyes, she listens to the noise around her; there’s a mother speaking to her child, comforting and soothing down his nerves; there’s the quiet humming and whirring of different drills and suction pipes and then there’s the sound of her name being called, so faint and gentle that she doesn’t even realise until Beidou’s tugging on her hand.
Ningguang’s eyes flutter open and she looks over to Beidou who’s smiling at her softly, tugging at her hand delicately. Ningguang stands up from her chair and follows the dentist in — it’s only when the door closes behind her that she realises Beidou hasn’t followed her in.
Her nerves kick in and her throat seems to close up on her as she sits down in the chair. The dentist asks her something and she can only blink at him blankly before he tilts his head and raises an eyebrow at her.
“Are you feeling well, ma’am?”
Ningguang clears her throat and swallows, “Of course, I’m sorry — a little tired, that’s all.”
“Ah, that’s alright, don’t worry.” His voice is as smooth as honey and when she looks up at him, she notices the dull green hair. “You can call me Dr. Baizhu if you want — I understand that you haven’t been to the dentist in a while?”
Ningguang nods meekly and looks down at the hands in her lap. She can hear the faint rustling of gloves and the clinking of metal against metal but she tries not to focus on it.
“I’ll go ahead and lower your chair.”
Ningguang was never a nervous woman, she was usually so full of confidence and self-assurance that she was the one who made others nervous. However, as she leaves the dentist’s — Dr. Baizhu — clinic, her hands have never been sweatier. She can somewhat recall the date on which she was to return to get her wisdom teeth pulled out but even that simple bit of information nearly slips out of her brain as she almost stumbles towards Beidou with shaky knees.
Beidou plants a reassuring kiss on the crown of her head and gently leads her down the stairs, checking her out before leading her to the car outdoors. The car ride home is almost entirely silent before Ningguang speaks up quietly.
“You’re sleeping on the sofa tonight.”
—
Saturday 4th, 11:45 — Feiyun Road
Beidou has opened the window of the car to allow some fresh air in and also in hopes that Ningguang wouldn’t faint. She grips onto the small piece of card in her hand as if her life depended on it as the car makes its way closer and closer towards the clinic.
Ningguang had dreaded this day, for the entire week that had been leading up to it — she simply couldn’t function, couldn’t focus on anything. Every waking second of every hour had been spent nervously trying to calm herself down for the impending day.
They eventually park outside and it takes Ningguang a minute to open the door before she steps out on shaky legs; Beidou wraps her arm around her waist and leads her inside, checking her in as she slowly guides her up to the waiting room. Ningguang sits down with a huff, eyes boring into the floor in front of her.
“Come on now, when you wake up from it, you won’t remember a thing,” Beidou tries to reassure her, rubbing somewhat comforting circles on her hand. Ningguang shakes her head and she almost wants to bash Beidou’s skull in for such a foolish way of consoling her — wouldn’t remember it? Doesn’t that make it worse? What if they removed all of her teeth without her knowing? Archons , she couldn’t be walking around with no teeth , that’s ridiculous.
Ningguang instead decides to mutter under her breath, “You’re a horrible, horrible person with no sympathy.”
“Ningguang, gods, please,” Beidou sighs, massaging the bridge of her nose with two fingers, “You’re impossible.”
Ningguang frowns and goes to shove Beidou lightly, “ You’re the impossible one–”
She’s interrupted when she hears her name being called from one of the doors to her left; she slowly turns her head towards it and standing in the way is her dentist. His mask covers his face but she can tell from the crinkle in his eyes that he’s smiling at her.
“Yin Ningguang, would you like to come this way, please?”
Ningguang sits down in the chair hesitantly, gripping onto the armrests so hard that she’s convinced she could rip them; she leans back in her seat with the dentist’s requests and soon finds herself being lowered down fractionally. He adjusts the light above her so that it’s not shining right in her face before clearing his throat and flicking through a few documents.
He asks her a few questions; “Do you have anyone to take care of you for the rest of the day?”, “Any signs of asthma?”, “Ever been sedated before?”, “Would you rather have it through a mask or a needle?” The list seems to be endless but he eventually stops and walks around to the other side.
Ningguang follows his every movement, watching as he takes a small plastic contraption and shows it to her.
“I’ll put this in your arm and it’ll make you rather drowsy, is that alright?” Ningguang nods, looking over to Beidou for some sort of reassurance. Beidou puts her thumbs up and smiles at her — Ningguang thinks she looks like a dork.
“That’s fine, yes.” She can’t help the slight shake in her voice. She receives a hum and a set of instructions; she follows them precisely and soon feels the small prod of the needle entering her arm.
“Alright, great,” the dentist turns to look at Beidou and tilts his head, “You are…?”
Beidou seems to jolt to life as she shakes her head and laughs a little awkwardly, “I’m her wife.”
“Ah, okay, good — I’ll have to ask you to step out while we do it, is that alright?”
Ningguang’s eyes widen and she sends Beidou an almost pleading look — something along the lines of ‘ Beidou, if you leave me right now I will cry .’
“Yeah, of course, I’ll just wait out in the waiting room.”
Ningguang decides that Beidou’s neck looks like the perfect thing to strangle.
The dentist hums beside her as he fidgets around with some tools, “It’ll take a moment before the…”
Ningguang doesn’t remember falling asleep and she especially doesn’t remember waking up and so as she tilts her head up drowsily towards the sound of quiet chatter in front of her, she is incredibly confused. She can just about see Beidou through her half-lidded eyes and once the two women in front of her notice that she’s awake, they’re quickly at her side, pushing her head back up so that she wasn’t folded over herself.
She blinks, once, twice before closing her eyes and opening them again but she still can’t figure out what was happening; what she does seem to be acutely aware of is how her mouth appears to be stuffed with wet, slimy cotton.
Eventually, she’s helped out of her chair but she thinks she nearly falls over when all of her body weight tips forward and there’s a rush of movement beside her. She can somewhat feel Beidou helping her along and out the door but she’s still not quite sure; she’s clinging onto the woman with all the strength she can muster, which is admittedly not a lot, as she stumbles along the parking lot.
She sits down in the car and is now aware of the mild ache of her jaw as she clenches and unclenches her teeth. The car seems to start up — she really isn’t sure whether this is all a dream or not — and what seems to be in a second, she’s back home again.
She’s still a little unstable on her legs as Beidou slings her arm over her shoulders and leads her inside. The door shuts behind them with a thud and there’s the clanking of metal as Beidou fiddles with her keys.
Ningguang’s put down on the sofa without her knowledge and she can just barely see the movement of a figure zooming back and forth between the living room and the kitchen. Wait… this was her house, right?
She tries to blink away the drowsiness and when she opens her eyes again, she finds that Beidou is standing right in front of her; she’s facing the television as she mutters something about there not being any good channels on. Once she finds something she appears to be remotely satisfied with, she makes herself comfortable behind Ningguang, wrapping her arms around the woman’s waist as she lets her lay down against her front.
Ningguang sighs, tugging Beidou’s arms closer to her as she lets her head tip back; she nuzzles closer to Beidou, trying to bury her head into her shoulder but it proved a little difficult when she wasn’t facing the woman.
“Mm, they really put you out, didn’t they?”
Ningguang huffs quietly, the faint sound of some TV series buzzing in the background, “I’m… I don’t remember.”
Beidou laughs softly and presses a kiss to Ningguang’s skull, “‘Course you don’t.”
—
Ningguang is very much more in control of her senses the next day, waking up with a yawn as she stretches her arms above her head. There’s a dull sort of ache where her teeth used to sit and she vaguely remembers taking all that cotton out last night — she would never admit to Beidou that the sight of all that bloody gauze had nearly caused her to faint.
Beidou shifts beside her, limbs tangled in with the blanket as she fidgets in her sleep; her mouth is wide open and out from it pours loud, heavy snores. Ningguang rolls her eyes, tempted to lean over and clamp her hand over her lips but she decides that she wants to be nice today.
She shuffles closer to Beidou, nudging her arms out of the way as she presses herself flush against the woman; she hums in contentment as Beidou subconsciously wraps her arms around Ningguang.
The two of them eventually wake up, putting on some clothes before stumbling out into the kitchen and beginning breakfast. Ningguang sits and waits by the table as Beidou is busy working away with all those pots and pans, cooking up something for Ningguang’s sore mouth.
Soon, her dish comes and Ningguang murmurs in satisfaction; Beidou sets out a bowl of her favourite soup before whizzing back to the kitchen in search of some drinks. Ningguang takes a spoonful and sighs, letting the warm liquid seep down her throat and quell the subtle throbbing of her gums.
Beidou eventually comes back with two glasses of water in hand; she sits down at the table and slides one of them over to Ningguang’s side.
“How are your teeth, or should I say, the absence of your teeth?”
Ningguang rolls her eyes and takes another spoon of her soup, “They hurt.”
“You seem fine.”
“They hurt ,” Ningguang reiterates, snuffed with irritation at Beidou’s denial, “You should give me some painkillers.”
Beidou gives her a smile before fishing a panel of pills out and tossing it in front of Ningguang, “There, take them with your water after you’ve finished.”
Ningguang’s brow knots, “I know how to take medication, Beidou.”
The woman hums, tilting her head as she smiles at Ningguang, “Just making sure.”
A silence grows around them, spreading across the walls as Ningguang continues to carefully spoon away at her soup; Beidou seems to have made some breakfast of her own and is inelegantly scarfing it down.
Beidou finishes her eggs with a confident chug of water, sighing before setting the glass down onto the table, “So, the dentist wasn’t that bad, was it?”
Ningguang pouts as she looks off to the side, “Who said it wasn’t?”
“I know it wasn’t because you don’t remember it,” Beidou hums, leaning back in her chair, “Come on, it can’t have been horrible if you didn’t even know what it was like.”
“That doesn’t matter, I still don’t like them — and now especially that they’ve ripped out four of my teeth and my gums hurt –”
“Alright, alright, I get it, I get it — finish your soup now, come on.”
“Don’t interrupt me, Beidou, I need to finish my declaration of hatred for the dentist’s.”