Chapter Text
I could cut a thousand roses
Show you that I'm all torn up inside
i. now
She thinks this must be her superpower. It's one she doesn't want to have anymore.
It's like a sixth sense. She can just feel, she can tell, when her wife -- scratch that -- her ex-wife is near. Maybe it's just the sound of her heels against the floor. Maybe it's the perfume that remains seared into her senses, two years after their divorce had been finalized. Maybe, Regina Vanguardia simply has that presence, that aura . She knows Regina would prefer that explanation.
Or maybe, it's that their heartbeats still match, after all this time. And her heart stutters whenever Regina is near. It was true the first time they met, and it remains true now, as Narda Custodio looks at the door of the principal's office and anticipates the entrance that her wife -- scratch that -- her ex-wife will make.
Regina doesn't disappoint. A minute passes and there is a knock, and Narda knows immediately that it's her. She reaches out to the young girl sitting beside her -- their daughter -- and squeezes her hand. "Your mom is here, darling," she says, her voice soft, reassuring. "We'll fix this, don't worry."
Their daughter -- Summer, because she was born during a heavy monsoon and Regina wanted to be rebellious -- looks at her with wide brown eyes, shining with unshed tears. She looks so much like Regina, Narda thinks, and it makes sense -- biologically, Summer is Regina's child; she shares none of Narda's DNA. A memory, unwanted and unbidden, comes back to her.
"Our next baby can be mine, but I want a little Regina first. A Wegina."
She shakes her head to free herself of this. She can't be feeling any weakness once Regina walks through the door. For this, she will need the strength of a thousand suns, and all she has at the moment is a pinprick of light.
"You're here."
Narda looks up and her breath catches. Will this ever change? Can she ever look at Regina and not feel like the world is slowing down? It's been two years since their divorce was finalized, and it's yet to happen. She still feels as though the world narrows and focuses once Regina enters the picture.
Narda blinks. "They called me. Kailangan daw ako --"
"You're early." Regina interrupts here, and her voice carries a tone of surprise. A wave of shame washes over Narda; there's a reason that Regina is shocked. "That's new." This time, Regina's voice is laced with acid; Narda feels it burn into her skin and she looks away.
She doesn't watch as Regina kneels in front of Summer, as Regina takes their daughter's hands in hers and assures her, in a firm, commanding tone, that, "Mom is here and I'm going to fix everything. Don't worry, darling, okay?"
Summer is six years old now, no longer a baby. But she's still a child, and the events of the past couple of years have made her seem even younger. Narda wants to protect her from the world. She knows it's impossible. She knows that so much of what pains their daughter is caused by her. By them.
"I didn't do anything," Summer says, her voice wispy, afraid. She doesn't look at Regina. Instead, she stares at Narda, beseeching. "Mama, I want to leave."
I want to leave . A refrain Narda is all too familiar with. She looks at Summer, then the school principal who has been observing them with a sympathetic look on her face. She looks at Regina, finally, finally, using all of the courage she possesses. She opens her mouth to speak.
Regina doesn't give her a chance.
"We'll talk to Mrs. Jimenez first, Summer," Regina says, and her voice now is sharp enough to cut glass. "I assume there's a good reason I was asked to come here?"
Harry Jimenez, the principal, just gives her a soft smile. Narda is amazed by her. She shows no fear of Regina, no signs of being intimidated by the great Atty. Vanguardia. Instead, she leans forward on her wheelchair and gestures for Regina to sit. "Please make yourself comfortable, attorney," she says, her voice calm and sweet and unworried. Narda wonders if Harry can teach her her ways.
There are two more chairs available. One is beside Narda, nearest to the principal's desk. The other is across her, affording more space, more distance.
She already knows which seat Regina will take. This doesn't mean her already broken heart fractures just a little more when Regina sits across from her, and angles her body away from her, focusing completely on the school principal.
It's fine, Narda thinks. What's one more cut to the thousands she already has?
i. before
"I think I'm drunk," Regina says out loud, to no one in particular.
She hears someone laugh in response and whirls around -- a massive, massive error. She immediately clutches her head and whimpers, closing her eyes tightly.
"Uy, okay ka lang?"
The voice is warm, concerned -- and close. Soon enough she feels a pair of hands on her shoulders, leading her somewhere. Regina's eyes are still shut tight -- she can't see, she doesn't want to see. She wonders if she's being led to her death but realizes at that moment that she doesn't care. All that she needs is to be away from the pounding music, the strobe lights, and the alcohol. Good lord, the alcohol.
"Upo ka, miss," the voice says. Regina opens her eyes.
Oh.
She's drunk but she still has eyes, and her vision is clear. The woman in front of her is fucking gorgeous .
She's drunk and her brain-to-mouth filter is pretty much gone. There is no other explanation for the next words to come out of her mouth.
"You're cute, I wanna eat you."
The woman in front of her blinks, then laughs. A full-bodied laugh, complete with her throwing her head back and running her hand through her hair. Regina watches her fingers and licks her lips.
"You don't even know my name," the woman says.
"I'm Regina," she immediately responds.
"Narda." The woman -- Narda -- holds out her hand, and Regina shakes it. She feels warm, but firm. Smooth. Regina doesn't want to let go of her hand.
"Is there anyone we can call?" Narda asks her. "Parang hindi ka dapat mag-isa."
Regina pouts. "Hindi naman ako mag-isa, you're with me." She will look back at this conversation later and blame it all on the alcohol. She will promise to never drink again. It's a promise she will break almost immediately.
Narda grins at her. "Totoo nga naman." She sits beside Regina on the bench; it's the only time that Regina takes stock of where they are. Narda has taken her a few meters away from where their entire batch is partying, and led her to a relatively quiet, peaceful corner.
"May kasama ka ba dito?" Narda asks her. Her eyes scan the throng of people on the grounds, as if it's possible for her to tell them apart.
"My blockmates," Regina says. She leans back, letting the fresh air wash over her. She's sobering up rather quickly. "I'm sorry, baka naiistorbo kita. Pwede mo naman akong iwan."
"Uh, no way," Narda tells her. When Regina levels her with a disbelieving look, she continues. "No offense, but you're kinda drunk. Ayaw kitang iwan mag-isa."
Regina doesn't know how to answer that, so she just smiles and mutters a thank you. "Well, nage-enjoy ka ba?" She gestures at the party, still going strong even while they're not there. "I mean before mo ako nakitang mahilo, that is."
Narda shrugs. "I guess."
"You guess?"
"I don't really go to parties," Narda clarifies, and Regina nods. "But… I aced all of my exams and sabi ng mga blockmates ko, deserve ko naman daw mag-enjoy ng kaunti."
"Have we met before?" Regina asks her. "Ano course mo?"
"Health sci," Narda answers. "Ikaw?"
"Legal management."
"Ah." There's a knowing look on Narda's face. "I don't think we've met before, Regina." Suddenly, an impish grin appears on her face and Regina feels her heart beat faster. "Hindi ko naman makakalimutan kung nagkita na tayo dati."
She's glad that it's dark because Regina is pretty sure she's blushing. Another thing that she wants to blame on the alcohol. "I guess we run in different circles," Regina says. She bites her lip. "I'm really glad na you aced your exams and you went here, though."
Narda's smile widens. "Eh, baka sinasabi mo lang 'yan kasi lasing ka na," she says.
"Hindi ah!" To prove her point, Regina stands up. "I'm gonna walk in a straight line, watch." She makes it to four steps before she begins wobbling; in a flash, Narda is standing beside her, helping her stay upright. Regina feels the blood rushing in her ears; she feels the heat where Narda's skin is touching hers.
"Sabi ko na lasing ka pa eh," Narda says. She's so close. Her face is so close to Regina's and it's making her light-headed. She's going to look back at this moment later on and realize that she can't blame it on the alcohol. This… This is something else.
"You're really cute," Regina blurts out.
"Sinabi mo na 'yan." There's a faint blush on Narda's face as she helps Regina back to the bench. "Uy, seryoso nga, may pwede ba akong tawagan para samahan ka? Baka walang maghahatid sa'yo pauwi."
"Gusto mo na ba akong iwan?" Regina pouts, and Narda is immediately shaking her head.
"Hindi! Hindi, ano ba. Kung pwede nga ako pag maghahatid sa'yo eh. Baka lang kasi may kasama ka talaga. Ayaw ko naman to step on anyone's toes." The words come out of her in a rush, and Regina giggles a little.
Regina blows out a breath so she can think a little more clearly. She knows it's not exactly a bright idea to ditch her blockmates and have Narda take her home. She knows she should call one of them -- Ali, probably -- and have them drive her back to her place. If she were a little less inebriated, she would have done that.
But she's not exactly sober, and the night air is cool on her skin and Narda is warm beside her. Narda is looking at her with the kind of concern that she hasn't seen for a while.
And she's looking really cute.
"You're not stepping on anyone's toes," Regina says, meaningfully. Narda's eyes widen, and a small smile breaks out on her face. "Ayaw ko pa ring umuwi. Dito muna tayo, if that's okay with you?"
The smile on Narda's face widens. It's deep into the night, but Regina thinks it's as if the sun is already rising.