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Hyunjin is not a fan of the smell of gasoline, the way it sticks so stubbornly to the air he breathes with the threat of leaving his temples heavy, a sample of the oncoming headache he will surely experience later. Even when he tries to mask the intensity of it by raising the collar of his shirt past his nose, it’s still obviously not enough. The idea of it almost makes him stop to think and reconsider where his feet are taking him, keyword being almost.
Here’s the thing: Hyunjin is already way too used to acting on impulse, and if he ever were to make a serious intervention to himself about this kind of behavior, he wouldn’t take the time to stop and analyze it right now. So he keeps walking, making a beeline towards the man hunched over the two-wheeler.
What is the worst thing that could happen? The man, at least from what he gathers from this angle, looks harmless; if anything, it would be the monster of a motorcycle he’s got that could make him doubt his current mission. It’s not a commercial type, that much he knows, it rather looks like the ones in those vintage american movies; and judging by the thick black leather hugging the man’s lean frame, he might just have been plucked right out of those. Ergo, the perfect distraction for Hyunjin to procrastinate on recharging his camara’s batteries.
When Changbin, his ex-roommate and life-long friend, told him he was crazy for going on this impromptu trip to possibly the most random of places, Hyunjin had simply done what he always does whenever Changbin gives his unsolicited opinion: ignore him (and occasionally make fun of his nagging too). But perhaps he should have listened just this once, or at least given him the opportunity to elaborate on why exactly he thought it would be too bad of an idea. Because now that he’s actually here, a little over 50 kilometers away from Seoul in a so-called ‘village’ that barely manages to achieve that title, he kinda sees where he could have been coming from with his criticism.
Sachang-ri is technically not that far, in terms of distance, from the bright lights and luxurious buildings in Incheon, but by god is it the most boring place Hyunjin's ever planted his feet on. Again, he should have expected this from the (albeit escarce) research he made before purchasing the earliest bus ticket he could find. From what he gathered by looking in the google maps app, the place was more or less like any other small town out there: rows of similar looking (not only in style but in size) houses, five blocks or so of shops and places to grab a drink and/or eat out, and one abandoned gas station located near the limit between the 'village' and the rest of the empty road.
He's been renting his room in a nearby motel for three nights and, parallely, he's been tempted to snap a shot with his old Lumix gh5 a total of fifteen times, which is depressing considering how easy it usually is for him to get excited about pretty much anything with aesthetic potential.
So yeah, the hours upon hours of wandering around just looking for something that could entertain his creative mind is what ultimately leads him here, at the side of the road that further opens up to the main street, approaching this biker guy before he eventually goes insane out of boredom.
"Hey" Hyunjin chooses a simple but classic greeting. Very eloquent, yes.
It is only then that the man becomes aware of his presence, stopping his hands from whatever mechanical stuff they were too busy messing with. His back straightens up and he finally turns around.
The man, or rather the boy, actually looks around his age. The first thing that calls Hyunjin's attention are his eyes, so round and sparkly for no obvious reason, how they reflect the rays of the intense afternoon sunlight while being framed by his jet black hair. Next are his facial proportions: all sharp angles and high cheekbones, definitely more fitting with the mental image Hyunjin had made up of what he could potentially look like. Lastly, he notices how plump and soft-looking his lips are, slightly chapped but still charming; and if he's not entered some kind of delirious state right now, he sees a hint of braces made visible from the slight gap in his mouth.
Interesting
"Hi" His voice is maybe the strangest incoherence relating to whatever Hyunjin's expectations were. It's soft and flat, but not in a way that implies he's trying to be cool, which ironically does make him kind of cool.
"I'm Hyunjin'' He says, a hand extended out in front of him to offer a lame handshake even if he can see the multiple grease stains on both of the guy's hands. He reluctantly accepts it, taking only two seconds of physical contact, his hand feels calloused and a bit dry against Hyunjin's own.
"Can I help you with something?" The guy asks, visibly confused, instead of introducing himself too like any other normal person would.
Hyunjin hesitates, biting off the need to cringe through gritted teeth. Mr. Braces is not really putting himself out there, not to say that he expected him to, but the reality of the situation is disappointing at least and embarrassing at most.
But then Hyunjin, grasping at straws at this point, runs an eye-scan over the guy’s body and a lightbulb goes off over his head.
Here are the facts: a) he’s bored out of his mind, b) this is the first time he actively interacts with someone in three days, c) the guy looks like a movie character, and d) Hyunjin has a camera waiting to be used. The math does itself, right?
“Actually, yes. I’m a photographer and I understand if you’re busy right now but I was wondering if you will allow me to take some pictures of you?”
The stranger looks at him with a deep frown and slightly pursed lips, Hyunjin doesn’t really get his confusion though. Yes, he might not look exactly like a runway model but he has to at least be aware of how comical it is seeing him with his leather jacket filled with patches and badass motorbike on the side of the road. It deserves to be captured.
“Look, I know this is very random. If you don’t feel uncomfortable appearing in my photos I get it and it’s okay, but I swear you don’t even have to pose, just keep doing your thing and I can get a few candid shots, it’ll be over before you know it”
Is he rambling? Yes. Is he practically begging a total stranger to be his source of entertainment? Maybe. But at this point he doesn’t really care, he doesn’t have anything to lose by just offering after all.
“Okay” He responds after some weird emotionless staring, not giving Hyunjin enough time to react before he’s fully focused on his work with the bike again.
He doesn’t let that get to his head, though, trying to remain positive while he gets his camera out of the backpack he’s carrying and ready to shoot.
***
It has been perhaps ten minutes, maybe even less, when Hyunjin can confidently say he’s hit the jackpot by approaching Seungmin (yes, after some overly-long time of stalling he finally told him his name). He had been a tad bit skeptical about the man, and about his own idea frankly, but all those doubts seemed to evaporate as soon as he snapped the first shot.
Viewing a person, for the first time, through the real world can be awkward and underwhelming. You don’t know them, and there’s no real reason to be enticed by anything at all; therefore, it becomes really difficult to make sense of them. Or at least that’s how it works inside Hyunjin’s brain.
But having the liberty of viewing the man through the lenses of his camera, being able to put him within the confines of the frame, choosing to zoom in and out and play with the angles…it’s like he’s being transported to another world. Because now he can see Seungmin, and the man is just fascinating from every perspective he can think of.
To him, the beauty of a shot does not emanate from the subject of the picture, not quite. It’s actually about the use of the device to create beauty out of the material he has, kind of like how a chef makes delicious food with the plain ingredients they’re given. That being said, it does help having an objectively beautiful subject, and in this case, Seungmin is more than enough.
The lines of his face are sharp but subtle, more like a slope rather than a cliff, and it makes him look so elegant and flawless even with the deep frown tinting his entire expression. His eyes are narrowed and Hyunjin can almost see the cogs turning in his head, if he were a little less enchanted he would try to offer his help but right now he’s just too busy, too enticed.
Whether unconsciously or intentionally, Seungmin doesn’t move too much while he works on the motorcycle, which is really a blessing considering Hyunjin is not a huge fan of blurry shots. At some point, he even dares to lower his camera to find his long slim fingers as they grip some part of the motor he has no idea what could possibly be called. He gulps. For the first time in those blessed couple of minutes, a new sort of thrill runs through his body from head to toe, it feels like he’s spying on someone, which should not make him as flustered as he’s getting right now.
The plan is to go back to his face, but on the way there he gets caught up in the image of his neck. The soft curve that extends upwards towards his jaw, and it plummets as it leads to more and more of that silky-looking ivory skin, getting lost in the inside of his plain white t-shirt.
Hyunjin drags the camera away from his face for a moment. He pretends to be readjusting his back before he gets into the task again.
He only gets to snap a couple more photos before Seungmin, out of nowhere, looks directly at him through the lenses. Without lending himself a second to ponder about it, he presses the button his index finger was already positioned on.
Seungmin seems to snap out of whatever trance overcame him as he flinches with the sound of the picture being taken.
There’s a silent tingle on the tip of Hyunjin’s fingers, the sensation subdued as the weight of his body resting on his knees becomes a mere drift, like he’s suddenly light as a feather. Sadly, he recognizes what is happening: he has done something he shouldn’t have.
It would be funny, if Hyunjin wasn’t panicking, how both of them straighten back up to their normal height at the same time. He holds his camera with two steady hands, now positioned against his lower abdomen; Seungmin drops the mini screwdriver he was using seconds ago. He looks like he wants to say something, and it’s kinda funny because Hyunjin is struggling with the exact same thing now.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to distract you” He settles on saying, because it’s true.
Seungmin stares off to the side as soon as he breaks the taut silence. He doesn’t say anything for a while, making Hyunjin wonder if it’s time for him to just apologize and go back to his motel room to have a good self-deprecating rant to himself.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to act weird like that” He finally says, although his eyes keep wandering around.
Hyunjin shakes his head. Did he get trapped in a parallel universe or something?
“You don’t have to apologize”
Seungmin finally stares back, even if only for a couple of seconds, Hyunjin counts that as a win.
"Actually, if you don't mind I should get going. I tried but I can't fix this on my own"
Seungmin starts moving towards the motorcycle, reaching for the few tools he left nearby.
"Where are you going?" Hyunjin asks, a hint of disappointment accidently slipping off his tongue.
"A friend of mine's dad is a mechanic, he has a workshop a few minutes from here" He says, still gathering all his stuff.
Hyunjin is not normally a clingy type of person, but right now he just can’t help feeling the smallest bit selfish by admitting to himself he wants to keep Seungmin by his side, to keep being fascinated by how versatile his style and his looks are, the unique aura he exudes; Hyunjin can’t help but feel like he’s made a connection he’s never felt with any other subject before.
Of course he can’t keep him hostage like a madman, the guy has his own right to do whatever the fuck he wants, but the he knows that if he lets him go so easily there probably won’t be any other chance for them to cross paths.
Luckily, he does have a quick wit and a skill for making shit up. Hyunjin quickly pockets the camera in its leather case and into his bag.
“Hey” He calls his attention as Seungmin has finished packing up everything and looks ready to take off “Is the workshop somewhere in town?” He gestures a nod of his head, bag hanging by the side of his shoulder.
Seungmin just nods.
“I was just about to go there too, my camera battery is running low anyway. We can take turns walking the bike if you want” He tries to sound nonchalant, although he is telling the truth.
Seungmin’s interest, for the first time in the short time they’ve existed in the same space (because it’s not like they talked much), seems to peak at that moment. His whole face lightens up, his mouth pursed in a tiny pink pout and his eyes doe-like as ever; it’s very cute.
“Would you really don’t mind helping me carry it?” His tone is still careful, but Hyunjin knows there’s a seed of hope growing there.
“Well…it looks pretty heavy but that’s more of a reason to do it as a pair, right?”
Then, just as Hyunjin thought there wouldn’t be any more surprises, Seungmin smiles. And shit, if that isn’t the most endearing and gorgeous smile he’s ever seen; it just carries so much joy in it, he looks like an actual puppy.
“Okay, yeah. Thanks.” He says.
Hyunjin shoulders the other strap of his backpack to better balance the weight. Seungmin turns the bike around so that it’s facing the inner road, he then grabs the left side of the handlebar with one hand while the other holds the back of the seat steady, Hyunjin copies his position on the right side and together they start walking.
***
Static silence has always been a special kind of hell to Hyunjin. It just messes with his brain as it tries to come up with erratic alternatives to what he could possibly say and each option seems weaker than the previous one, until he ends up trapped into his own internal debate and misses the situation in the exterior enough to make his initial worry useless.
Hyunjin repeats the same cycle in no particular order for the next few minutes: look straight ahead at the unfolding road, play with the rough leather of the seat, steal a glance at Seungmin, catch the sight of something that could barely function as a distraction, discard it, and repeat.
He’s just about to give up and accept that Seungmin doesn’t need to fulfill this role he’s practically shoving onto him, when he turns out to be the one to spark a conversation first.
“So you’re a photographer?”
Hyunjin hums in response, hoping that Seungmin is willing to follow up with something else.
“That’s cool, I had a photography phase when I was a teen” He says casually, like they’re two old ladies having tea and talking about what each other’s sons are up to.
“A photography phase?” He makes sure to get some of his annoyance across.
“Yeah, my mom had this vintage camera that I found one day while snooping around some old stuff of hers. I thought it would be the perfect hobby to take up at that time, artistic and meaningful but still easy to get invested in”
Hyunjin frowns, he sees his combat boots carrying him over the gray asphalt, trying to appease the amount of possible stimulation in their surroundings in order to process what Seungmin just said.
He’s trying to figure out whether he’s making fun of him or not, because if he is then, well, he certainly didn’t see that one coming but also what a fucking asshole.
“Did that sound like I was mocking you?”
Hyunjin leaves the question purposefully hanging in the air for a few seconds, anything that could possibly get a rise out of Seungmin seems to be the direction that attracts him the most to follow.
“I didn’t mean to if that’s what you think…” More silent walking. “I could show you some of those old pictures I took, they always sucked anyways”
Hyunjin hums again, this time as a way of pretending he’s considering his offer.
“I don’t need to see them” He settles on saying, a slight smirk forming on his lips. “I can already tell I’m the superior photographer”
Seungmin laughs, and it’s a very specific airy sound with an almost melodic tint surrounding it, and weirdly enough it creates a soothing effect on Hyunjin. He wouldn’t mind hearing it again.
“Suit yourself but you may be in front of a composition genius and never get the chance to know it for sure”
“Nah, I don’t think I want to get into your angsty teenage photography, I’m good” He says, this time daring to look back up and meet up Seungmin’s gaze.
They must look like they’re holding a staring contest of some kind because, suddenly, neither of them seem to want to take their eyes off the other. But then Seungmin makes a goofy face out of nowhere and something breaks inside of Hyunjin, he stops walking as the laughter that erupts from him makes him double over himself.
He has no idea of what is going on right now but what he does know is that he’s coming undone from a stranger’s weird sense of humor as if he didn’t know him for barely half an hour or so. It’s so weird, but Seungmin is pushing buttons he didn’t even know were there.
“Okay, you win” He says after he’s come back from whatever that was.
They continue walking the bike in relative silence, but now Hyunjin can tell they’re past the annoying initial awkwardness, thank god.
“So you know I’m a photographer, what about you?” He asks.
Hyunjin looks to his side when he doesn’t get an immediate response, Seungmin doesn’t look like he’s actually thinking of a response, instead, his eyes are set on the road ahead where some scattered houses start appearing in the distance.
Well, he’s messed up again, and by now this whole thing has become pretty frustrating. It’s like the tension never seems to fully disappear yet, it’s always one step forward three steps back.
“What about me?” Is what he, finally, says.
Answering a question with another question. Great.
“I mean what is that you usually do”
“For a living? Or as a hobby?”
Hyunjin sighs. Was the question really not that clear?
Seungmin seems to notice his frustration, he sees him smiling from the corner of his eye; it’s not a happy smile, nor a reminiscent or nostalgic one. It looks more like a self-pitying one.
“I drive,” Hyunjin turns back to him. “I do delivery services with this baby right here”
Of course. Of course Seungmin is not an actual ‘biker guy’ wannabe that drives anywhere he wants at any time he wants, looking all mysterious and cool all the time. He has an actual job.
“Ah. That’s really cool” Hyunjin says nonetheless.
“You look disappointed” He points out.
“Huh?” He asks in a genuinely confused voice.
“I said you looked disappointed”
“No, I’m not” He shakes his head as if only to hammer in his point.
He takes a moment to study Seungmin’s profile as it stands firm against the sheets of sunlight, with all the right points being highlighted and tinting his beauty in a golden light. His resting face definitely gives more of a serious vibe, maybe he could convince him to pose with a cigarette next time.
A little cabin style house suddenly appears in the background of his companion’s face, and it is only then that Hyunjin snaps out to look at his own side; where more houses, a half-hidden convenience store, and a bus stop can be found. The facade of the houses is mostly covered by untrimmed bushes and climbing plants, and there are no fences or anything that could fully separate the road from the crammed communal space of the families that live here. When he first arrived at Sachang-ri he stopped directly at the center, and more populated, part of the village; and he fell asleep almost all the way there, so this is the first time he’s actually seeing this ‘introductory’ part of the small town. It’s interesting to say the least.
“Are you visiting?” Hyunjin notices the way Seungmin asks the question with caution, like Hyunjin will shut him out or get mad if he’s caught prying.
Instead, he just feels relieved he’s not the only one wanting to know more about the other.
“Yeah” He tests the atmosphere before continuing. “I came here as a kind of creative retreat if you will”
Seungmin nods.
“Sure, and what have you photographed so far?”
Hyunjin tilts his head to the side, wondering whether he should lie about it, disguise the truth, or simply state things as they are.
“Um, I’m not too much of a nature person but I did manage to get some pretty shots of the mountains and some birds”
Seungmin fully laughs at him, then. Now he’s the one that has to stop to fold over himself, which is a little too exaggerated for Hyunjin’s taste but whatever.
“What’s so funny?” He asks, no venom in his tone, just genuine curiosity.
“You hate it here, don’t you?” Seungmin doesn’t look at him as he asks, his voice remains mostly neutral.
“I don’t hate it!”
“Yeah, but you don’t like it either…or do you?” He teases.
Hyunjin takes a moment, he thinks about it and Seungmin lets him.
The only sound that can be heard is the chirping of the birds and the occasional sound of leaves rustling with the wind. No sirens, no traffic, no multiple conversations going on at once, no lights and laughter and street food and comfort.
“Are you a mind-reader or something?” He says, trying to joke to mask the fact that from the outside he must seem like a dickhead for not liking the simplicity of the place.
“You’re just easy to read…as in body language, not minds”
Hyunjin laughs again and feels the strange need to punch his shoulder as he does so (in a friendly way, of course).
They continue walking and quizzing each other on random trivia about their lives. Hyunjin learns that Seungmin’s motorcycle started showing problems a few days ago but he ignored it until it was unavoidable, that he’s originally from Seoul as well, he’s been living whenever he feels like at the moment, and he likes choco mint ice cream (ew).
After a while, without realizing it, Hyunjin’s back in the center of town.
“Here we are” Seungmin announces as they stop at the front of a short brick building, a faded out metal sign above the big opening reads ‘vehicle repairing’.
Hyunjin hears the place before he actually sees it, the screechy sound of some kind of machine and a thick throaty voice calling out for someone. The workshop doesn’t share a space with the local shops, it’s actually a few blocks down the avenue and is closer to the more escarce part of the village, still they pass by some kids playing in a garden and an elderly couple walking hand by hand. If anything, it seems like they reached the main residential area.
Now that they’re standing right in front of the place, the sounds are much more vivid and a little deafening to be honest, but Hyunjin doesn’t feel like it’s his place to complain.
“Great” They turn to look at each other at the same time.
“Well, um, good luck with your bike I guess. I hope it’s not broken”
Seungmin looks him up and down, he overtakes both of the sides of the handlebar and parks the motorbike against the side of one of the brick walls. He then approaches Hyunjin back and takes a step closer, the latter gulps at the new proximity.
“When do you leave?” His voice is gentle and soft, like a thick warm blanket placed all around Hyunjin’s body during a cold winter day.
“Next Monday” He says, not meaning to sound as dry as he does.
Seungmin doesn’t show much of a clear reaction to this, he just stares (which seems to be a recurrent thing when it comes to him). But then he takes off his small plain black backpack and reaches for something inside it.
“Give me your hand”
Hyunjin, because he’s an actual idiot, does as he’s told. Next thing he knows, Seungmin is scribbling a series of numbers in his palm with a sharpie.
“You may have to move around with your phone at first but once you catch a signal it keeps connected” He says, putting the marker back into the backpack without a second thought.
“You wrote your number?”
“Don’t worry, it’s not permanent” He says with a tiny smile.
Hyunjin doesn’t find anything in particular to say as he watches Seungmin slide through the main opening of the building, motorbike by his side.
‘It’s not permanent’
Should he take that as a sign?