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No wedding would, of course, be complete without dancing at the reception to songs that had been cheesy tens of years ago with relatives one had not seen fit to invite to the wedding itself - for reasons that were purely practical, rather than any reflection on the affection one may or may not have for said relatives.
We didn't think it would be a good idea to put you in the same room with a lot of vampires would probably not have gone over well.
"Private ceremony," Beth said, and it was probably a good thing she'd been working at Buzzwire for as long as she had - it'd left her with the ability to keep a perfect smile on her face, regardless of circumstances.
It was, she comforted herself, not a lie. And to a reporter, there existed no such thing as the sin of omission, unless it was someone else doing the omitting, preferably on live TV and in an interview.
Uncle Steve produced the appropriate noises of a relative who hadn't bothered with so much as a card last Christmas. She wouldn't be expecting one this year, either. Could already hear him telling the tale to Aunt Irma, who might be around somewhere, too, possibly even dancing with Mick, who would be polite and charming and regretful, and who might well be solely responsible for any Christmas cards that may yet show up on their doorstep coming December.
Always a bit stuck up, that side of the family. Got it from her mother.
Such a lovely young man, though.
The ceremony had been private - the wedding reception, after, wasn't. She'd as soon have skipped both (or so she'd kept telling herself, and Mick) but as Josef'd put it: Mick was an old-fashioned kind of guy.
Liable to repeating past mistakes was how Josef'd put it, too, which was a bit of an exaggeration, surely, given that last time Mick'd gotten married, he'd been human.
Uncle Steve was replaced by Cousin Tom, who in time was replaced by Josef.
"Private ceremony," Beth told him, fully on auto-pilot by now. Her feet hurt, and her jaw hurt, and the looks on the faces of her at the moment not-so-dear family when they looked at her didn't not hurt.
"I know." Josef sounded slightly amused. "I was there."
One of the few familiar faces, even. Mick'd already told her he and Josef were hardly the only vampires in the city, of course, and she'd even met some of them already, but even so.
Even so, few women liked to discover just how many people the man they were about to marry hadn't introduced her to, for reasons of his own. Knowing Mick, they would probably be good, responsible reasons.
"Tired?" Josef asked. "You can lean on me; Mick won't mind."
Her family would see, though, and even if they might not mind, exactly, they would still talk.
"Exhausted," she said. "How do people do this?"
Josef was a good dancer. He'd had a lot of years to practice, presumably, although she couldn't imagine he'd attended a lot of weddings. Vampires didn't seem to bother with marriage, as a rule - especially not to humans who were, after all, not going to live nearly long enough to make the bother worthwhile.
Then again, Coraline had married Mick, once upon a time. She wondered if Josef had been at that wedding reception, too.
"With drinks and determination," Josef said. "Sit down and I'll get you one."
For lack of relatives to placate, Beth decided she might as well. "A determination?" A weak effort that didn't get her so much as a smile.
Mick was dancing with her grandmother. They were almost of an age, for all that nobody looking at the two of them would have believed it. "Jealous?" Josef asked, handing her a drink.
Of all the things she might have been feeling right now, that one, she was pretty sure about. "No."
"Nervous? Bit too late to put on your running shoes and become a runaway bride." She wasn't sure if he was trying to comfort or annoy her. Possibly, it was neither - simply a case of Josef being Josef.
"I couldn't outrun Mick, anyway." It'd been a while since she'd eaten anything. She could feel the drink sliding down her throat, warming her stomach, numbing the pain in her feet.
Josef chuckled. "You run, I'm pretty sure he'd let you go. That's Mick for you."
It was, too. The thought that she might only be running away because she wanted him to come after her and catch her wouldn't even occur to someone like Mick.
She wasn't sure if it would occur to someone like Josef. "And you?"
Josef showed teeth. "Let's not spoil the mood by talking about places to conveniently dump the dead bodies of people who annoy me, shall we?"
Probably a good thing none of the other guests were close enough to have heard that. "Well, I'm here now and I'm not planning on going anywhere."
"Pleased to hear it, I'm sure."
She took another sip of her drink and looked for Mick, only to find him headed straight in her direction. His expression gave away nothing - he might have been enjoying himself immensely and looking forwards to more dancing with her female relatives, or he might feel as tired as her.
"Her feet hurt and without an intervention, I can probably have her too drunk to walk by herself in less than half an hour," Josef said.
Mick's expression turned worried. "I'm fine," Beth said. "Just tired."
Josef got up and collected her empty glass. "In other words: not tonight, darling, I've got a headache." He slapped Mick on the shoulder. "Not the most auspicious wedding night, is it? Still better than the last one, of course."
"I'm fine," Beth repeated.
Mick's expression didn't turn any less worried. "Just tired?" he asked.
"It's been a long day."
"Yes." Mick sighed. "I suppose it has been."
"Shocking, isn't it - the way criminals don't even have the grace to not cause any trouble on the day you're getting married?" Josef was back to looking amused. "If I were you, I'd file a complaint."
"Or just not bother with the criminals at all?"
Josef smiled. "Well, now. Beth here has got a job, but there is such a thing as getting time off, you know? And it just might be possible this city doesn't actually need you, specifically, to solve all of its crimes. Let someone else do the work for once, hm?"
"I'll have to think about that some time," Mick said.
"Fantastic," Josef said. "Now, then, if you will both hand me your cellphones, you may be on your merry way to the bridal suite. Just a simple precaution, you understand."