Chapter Text
Ladybug stared down from the top of the Eiffel Tower at the miniature rows of houses and wondered about the people in them. What were they doing? Were they already asleep? Were they sitting around a dinner table, laughing happily with their families about their day?
Ladybug wondered if they felt safe- did they think he and Chat Noir were strong enough to defeat Hawkmoth? He hoped they did because right now, their trust in him was the only thing keeping him going.
He heard a slight sound behind him and tensed for a second- until he realised the confident footsteps of Paris’s black-clad feline hero.
“Hey, Red.”
Ladybug tilted his head around and saw the red glint of his crimson eyes reflect the golden lights of Paris. His sleek, black leather suit looked the same as always, gleaming in the moonlight. His cocky grin was firmly in place, mouth somehow relaxed and set in stone at the same time. His blond hair fell messily into eerily light eyelashes, somehow looking chaotic and perfectly in order at the same time.
Through countless missions and fight with Chat, Ladybug had learnt that the hero was the personification of many contradictions- lazy but alert, dumb yet smart, chaotic yet orderly. It gave him a certain air of confidence that Ladybug knew only Chat Noir had- something about him made you relax and feel like everything was okay.
In some ways, Chat was a lot like Bakugo.
“What’s got you down?” Chat asked, a tone of concern lacing his words. Ah, he had noticed- of course, he did. Chat had a weird ability to read him like an open book. Even though neither of them even knew their real names, they knew each other- Chat had taught Ladybug that sometimes, you don’t even need to know someone’s name to know who they truly are.
Ladybug sighed. “Oh, nothing much- just…the pressure of it all, y’know? If we fail to defeat Hawkmoth, there are so many people we would let down.”
“I get that,” Chat replied, surprisingly being honest instead of deflecting with a lame joke. “That’s the thing about here- amazing view, but also the existential fear.”
Ladybug laughed. “Only you would say something like that.”
“Is that a tone of fondness I hear? You’ll fall for me any day now- I’m sure of that, at least.”
Ladybug felt a wave of guilt hit him at that- making him feel even worse.
Chat obviously noticed and turned away slightly. “That’s not it…it’s not just the pressure thing, though, is it?”
Ladybug felt both irritated and thankful Chat could read him so well. “I don’t know if you’re the person to talk about it with, though.”
“Hey- you can tell me anything. Promise, I won’t judge. I’m your therapy cat for now,” Chat imitated pulling out a notebook, and looking intently at him with a focused stare. “Tell me, what has been troubling you?”
Ladybug hesitated. “Well…there’s this…guy. At school.”
He saw Chat visibly flinch, and the atmosphere changed. Ladybug felt awful- why was he talking about this with a guy who was literally in love with him?
“You like him?” Chat said quietly, almost whispering. It suddenly felt too private, here. Ladybug could feel his throat go dry, and the back of his neck heat up.
“…Yeah,” Ladybug rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I’m sorry, Chat, I shouldn’t-”
“No, no! It’s fine! I’ll help you. Boy troubles, eh? I’ll see what I can do.” He rubbed his hands together, feigning excitement. But Ladybug could tell something was missing in his voice- he’d lost some of his playfulness.
“So, who’s the lucky guy?”
Ladybug paused. Should he tell him?
“I don’t think I should tell you- you’ll know what school I go to then. A lot of people know him…”
“Oh, so he’s famous? Dang, you’re really going for the big fish.”
“Stop!” Ladybug shoved him playfully, as his neck started to match his hair. “It’s not like that!” He visibly cringed as soon as he said the words, and put his head in his hands. “Oh my god, I sound like a middle-school girl.”
Chat patted his head comfortingly. “You do.”
“Go away!” Ladybug screamed at him, his voice reaching a note he didn’t even know he could reach. Chat started laughing- a screechy, hysterical thing- but it sounded nice. It was a weird fact about Chat; he may have a “charming face” (quoted directly from Izuku’s blog), but his laugh sounded like he was a hyena who was giving birth.
After they had calmed down to a reasonable extent, it was quiet again- a comfortable silence. They sat there for a while, Chat swinging his legs. Ladybug knew he was trying to find the words to say something.
“So…why exactly are you worried? Is he already dating someone and you two are sneaking around?”
“No, no- it’s nothing like that! It’s just…” Ladybug hesitated. “I don’t think he likes me back.”
Silence. A pigeon flew between them, snapping its small beak threateningly.
“Are you out of your mind?” Chait Noir asked incredulously. “Why the hell would you think that? Any guy would be lucky to have you- I can tell you from personal experience!”
Ladybug laughed half-heartedly. “Okay, Chat; I think you’re a little too biased for this.”
“No, I’m being serious!” Chat insisted. “I swear to God- you’re literally the most beautiful person I have ever met.”
Ladybug went red to the tips of his ears. ‘Chat, you can’t just say stuff like that!”
“But it’s true!”
Ladybug laughed. “Yeah, but…I don’t really look like this when I’m not in costume- my hair is-” Ladybug stopped himself from giving away too much- that his hair was an ugly, plain black- “It’s…different when I’m not wearing the miraculous.”
Chat blinked. “Wait- really? My hair’s exactly the same.”
“Well…mine is completely different. If I walked past you, you wouldn’t recognize me- even without the magic.” Ladybug sighed. “It’s just- I act completely different. I’m not…confident, or smart, or creative- I’m the quiet kid in the back of the class that nobody notices.”
Chat was quiet as he took it all in. “Even if you were like that, I still can’t imagine not being in love with you.” He turned to Ladybug, a determined look in his eyes. “I’m telling you if he doesn’t like you, then he’s blind- he doesn’t know you like I do.”
“But- this isn’t me. I’m not…creative or smart, or- or anything you think I am! It’s just…it’s just the miraculous’s effects.”
Chat paused for a second. “Is this about that guy not liking you or is it about you not liking yourself?”
Ladybug was stunned. “I don’t-I don’t not like myself- I think I’m fine! I just…”
“I’m not anything special- I’m not…I’m not worthy enough to be noticed by Katsuki Bakugo.”
“K-Katsuki Bakugo? You mean- famous model, son of Mitsuki Bakugo- Katsuki Bakugo?” Chat stammered.
Ladybug sighed. “I know- he barely knows my name, let alone like me back.”
He was Ladybug, here, with Chat- but to everyone else, he was just plain old Ejirou Kirishima, the plain boy who was quiet and shy and socially awkward. The only thing he was known for was being the son of the owners of Paris’s best bakery, and Kirishima wasn’t even all that good at cooking. He wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t good, either- a lot of things about him were average. Not bad enough to be noticeable, but not good enough to be recognized. He was an invisible shadow that was never acknowledged- the only time he could be seen was when he was Ladybug.
“Have you…have you made any moves?” Chat asked, finally getting over his shock. “Talked to him, or something? I’m sure he would notice you if you said good morning to him, or something.”
“No- every time I try to do something, I either chicken out or something happens that ruins everything. Nothing ever goes my way.” Ladybug buried his shoulders in his knees, and he felt pathetic. He felt so small, like something that could be crushed. A weak little bug.
Chat sighed heavily, blowing mist out in the cold night air. “Look- I get it. I act completely different when I’m not saving the day, or being Chat Noir. To be honest, I’m an asshole in real life.” Chat stopped as if trying to find the words. “You know what I think- we act differently when we’re in costume because no one knows who we really are- if we mess up, we mess up as Ladybug and Chat Noir, not our civilian selves-”
“We’re more confident when we’re wearing our miraculous. So I don’t think that you’re- that you’re a different person when you’re Ladybug, I just think…”
“That you’re the person you would be if you weren’t so scared of what everyone thinks.” Chat tilted his head up and looked up at the stars. “It’s a way to be free, you know?”
Ladybug was silent for a moment. “Wow, that was…really poetic.”
Chat laughed out loud, and the tensions suddenly disappeared. “Don’t expect it to happen again- the sleep deprivation is getting to me.”
“Sleep deprivation? It’s only 8:40!”
“I go to sleep at 8:35- I have a really strict schedule.” Chat stretched his arms and yawned, staying true to his feline nature. “You feel better now?’
Kirishima smiled. “Yeah, I think I do. Thanks, Kitty.”
“Anytime, Red.” He stood up and took one last look at the night sky. “The stars sure are beautiful tonight, huh?”
“Yeah, they are.” Ladybug looked down at the tiny lights sprinkled across the town. A lot of them had turned off, probably because of most people getting into bed by now. “Good night, Chat.”
“Good night, Ladybug.” He felt the whistle of air beside him as Chat flew off into the night sky, going off to his own bed. Ladybug smiled. He did feel much better now. It was nice knowing that he wasn’t alone.
Ladybug stood up. It was nearly 8:50 by now, at it was a school night- he better get going.
He was going to try and tell Bakugo good morning tomorrow.