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Dean was frowning as he ate a cheeseburger in the quiet of the bunker’s kitchen. Sam walked in, sweaty from his afternoon run, and went straight to the refrigerator, grabbing himself a bottled water.
“You look like crap,” he noted as he sat across from his brother.
“At least I don’t look like my sweat glands exploded, baby brother.” Dean greedily tore into his burger.
“Someone’s pissy today,” Sam took a sip of water.
“I’m sorry, Sam.” Dean sighed, “Okay, let me bounce something off of you.”
“Hit me.”
“Okay. You know how me and Cas have been…hmmm hmmming?”
“Hmmm hmmming?” Sam asked. “You mean fucking like rabbits every chance you get?” Sam annoyedly squinted at Dean, “Yes, Dean, I know. And for your information, the bunker isn’t entirely soundproof.”
Dean chuckled, unbothered by his brother’s admission that he could hear Dean and Cas going at it. “Yeah, well, things might be getting…serious.”
Sam raised his eyebrow, “How serious, Dean?”
Dean looked directly at his brother, taking a deep breath, “If you breathe a word of this to anyone, especially Cas, I’ll kill you in your sleep. Got it?”
Sam rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I got it.
“Okay. Well, the truth is, Sammy, I think I’m in love.”
Sam choked on his water, “In LOVE? With Cas?”
“Of course, with Cas, Sammy! Who the hell else would I be in love with? Have you been living with me for the last five years?”
“Dean, I know you and Cas have had this flirty thing that has turned into incredibly noisy sex at all hours of the goddamn day…but love? You?”
“I can love, Sammy.”
“Yeah, I know, Dean, but…” Sam trailed off. “Okay, so if you’re in love with Cas, why not tell him?”
“Okay, so, me and Cas were fooling around earlier….” Dean stopped while Sam rolled his eyes. “Anyway, then we were kind of snuggling after, you know? And Cas told me that he loved me.” Dean paused to reflect on this and smiled again. “Can you believe THAT?”
Sam’s face softened, “Dean, what’s so hard to believe?” If you love Cas, why would you think he wouldn’t love you?”
Dean sighed, “Sammy, you, of all people, know I haven’t exactly been lucky in that department. I’m not what many people would call loveable.”
Sam sat in stunned silence. He wasn’t used to his brother sounding less than self-confident, which threw him off.
“Anyway, I asked Cas why he loved me, and he couldn’t come up with a reason.”
“What did he say?”
“He said there were a million reasons that he loved me.” Dean laughed, “Which is his way of getting out of having to explain to me why he loves me.”
“Why does he have to explain to you why he loves you, Dean? Can’t he just love you?”
Dean held out his arms, “What’s to love, Sam? Seriously? I drink too much, I eat crap, I hardly sleep, I’m always grumpy, and every time I leave the house, it’s possible I’m not coming back. Who could love that?”
“Cas, apparently,” Sam chuckled.
“No,” Dean shook his head. “I think he was just saying what he thought he should say after sex. I might have shown him too many romcoms.”
Sam shook his head, “Dean, that’s ridiculous. Cas knows his own mind…his heart. If he said he loves you, why wouldn’t you believe him.”
“Not one reason, Sam. He couldn’t come up with one reason why he loves me.”
“Why do you love him?”
“I said I THINK I love him, Sam.” Dean paused, “Fuck it, yeah, I love him. I love him because….”
At that moment, Cas walked into the kitchen, “Hi, Sam.” He smiled shyly at Dean, “Hello, Dean.”
Dean smiled back but didn’t say anything.
“Hey, Cas. What’s up?”
“Sam, would you mind if I used the printer in your room? I have something I need to…print.”
Sam shrugged, “Sure. Have at it.”
Cas beamed, “Thank you, Sam!” Then he ran out of the room.
Confused, Sam looked at his brother, “What was that all about? Since when does Cas use the printer?”
“Who knows, Sammy? He’s a weird little guy.”
“A weird little guy you’re crazy about.”
Dean smiled, “Yeah, I am.” He shook his head, “It’s so stupid, isn’t it?”
Sam exhaled loudly before speaking, “Maybe not, Dean? Hell, you deserve to be happy. Maybe you and Cas actually make sense. Who else could really understand the kind of life you lead?”
“He’s too good for me, Sammy.”
“Dean. He’s a fallen angel with no wings, wonky powers, and an absolutely clueless mind when it comes to almost everything you love. Yet he obviously adores you.”
“Adores me, Sam? That’s a little strong.”
“You don’t see the way he looks at you the way I do, Dean. He adores you. And if he thinks he’s good enough for you, you should think so too.”
“Easy for you to say, Sammy.”
Sam sighed, “Go tell him you love him too, Dean. You’ll feel better once you do.”
“I’m not gonna be the jackass who tells someone they love them and then have it thrown back in their face, Sam. No way.”
“You’re afraid of getting hurt?” Sam tried to conceal his small smile. “Dean, Cas wouldn’t hurt you. No matter what you think.”
“What if he does?” Dean looked as if he were on the verge of tears. “Sammy, he couldn’t come up with ONE reason. Not ONE.”
“Why isn’t ‘because I do’ a good enough reason for you, Dean? What if he loves you just because he does?”
“That’s stupid.”
“Okay, so before Cas interrupted us, you were gonna tell me why you love him. Shoot.”
Dean took a deep breath, “Because he’s kind. And he’s sweet. And he’s always thinking about other people.” Dean smiled, “And he’s fucking hot. Those blue eyes, man. And those lips?” Dean whistled. “He’s interesting and funny even if he doesn’t realize it.” Dean stopped to think about why he loved Cas and smiled, “And he’s fucking amazing in bed…so giving...not selfish at ALL.”
“OKAY, I think you’ve listed enough reasons, Dean….”
“I could keep going, Sammy.”
“Yeah, that’s great, Dean. But just because Cas can’t come up with reasons as quickly as you did doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.”
Once again, Cas walked into the kitchen. This time he was holding a stack of copy paper.
“Cas, what the hell?” Sam asked.
“I think I broke your printer, Sam,” Cas shook his head. “Too bad because I wasn’t done printing.”
“You weren’t done? Cas, that looks like a ream of paper in your hands!’
“Seven hundred and twenty-seven pages, actually, Sam.” Cas put the paper down on the kitchen table between Sam and Dean. “You have a very fast printer….”
“Thanks to Charlie,” Dean smiled.
“…until it died.” Cas shrugged.
Dean fingered the pages while looking at Cas, “Cas, what did you need to print on seven hundred pieces of paper?”
“The reasons I love you, Dean. I told you there were a million. I printed each reason on one line so you could read them.”
Sam put his face in his hands, “My printer.”
Dean lifted the top page off the stack of paper and quietly read it. It wasn’t long before there were tears in his eyes, and some of them escaped down his cheek.
Cas stood stoically, waiting for Dean to finish reading the page. When he did, he put it aside and began reading the second page and his tears began flowing even more freely.
“Cas,” Dean managed to whisper, “These lines all say the same thing.”
Sam looked up at his brother, surprised by his tears.
“I know, Dean. It was the best reason I could think of, and I wanted you to see it a million times.”
Dean dropped the page, stood up, and grabbed Cas by the waist. He kissed him passionately, and the angel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck.
“I love you, Cas. I should have said it earlier.” Dean kissed Cas again, “I love you so much.”
The two kissed again, and Sam distracted himself by taking a piece of paper off the pile. He couldn’t help but smile when he read what Cas had typed out a million times.
I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE DEAN WINCHESTER