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Joshua clutched the empty bottle of soju to his chest, hugging it like a mad man. He didn’t stumble as he walked, he could still see straight, so he wasn’t drunk.
Just as he thought that, he bumped into a light post that appeared out of nowhere.
He gasped and stumbled backwards, giggling to himself at his own silliness. His giggles soon turned into full blown laughter, then he was hugging the empty bottle closer to his chest as he walked forward to lean against the light post, laughing his head off.
Maybe he was a little tipsy.
When his laughter died down, he didn’t have enough energy to continue what he was doing before, nor could he remember what he was supposed to do. He slid down the light post, wincing at the impact when his butt hit the concrete of the sidewalk.
Absent-mindedly, he caressed the bottle against his chest and closed his eyes.
He wasn’t fond of college parties, there were many proofs of that. Too loud, too many people going crazy, too many foods, too many drinks, parties were just too much of everything in one space all at once. It made him dizzy and detached.
To add to that, he didn’t like drinking very much, the very idea of getting drunk and letting the alcohol take over his body scared him so he tried his absolute best to avoid it.
So why did he attend a college party hosted by his classmate— uninvited— all by himself in the middle of the night? Question of the century, Joshua thought.
Maybe all the burden of being top of the class finally got to him. Maybe it was the worry of being lonely in the future that led him to enter the house with flashing lights and loud music. Maybe it was the want to be careless for once that led him to down the bottle of soju he was currently clutching to his chest. Maybe a lost soul of someone who recently died took over his body.
“Yeah…” Joshua whispered. “Definitely,” He smiled drowsily. Maybe sleeping on the sidewalk wasn’t such a bad idea. He felt awfully comfortable right now.
Some pizza would be good too, he thought as the delicious smell of cheese and pepperoni hit his nostrils. Oh. He was definitely drunk. Hallucinating scents, he might just be going crazy.
After a few minutes of nothing, the sound of bells broke the midnight silence. Was it the gods calling out to him?
But his body felt so, so heavy… “Give me a few more minutes,” he mumbled to the gods.
It was silent again, but Joshua felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, “Go away god, I’m not coming with you.”
“Did you just call me god?” Someone laughed, voice hoarse and sexy.
Huh?
His eyes snapped open, heart jumping out his chest at the sight of someone so close to his face. He flinched back, which only did more harm than good as his head hit the post he was leaning on with a loud pang that was almost louder than the music at the party.
The man in front of him sucked in a breath, “You alright there?”
There was a gentle hold on his neck, a thumb drawing circles on the spot below his ear.
No. He thought when a sharp pain shot through him as he moved his neck. His eyes snapped shut, he was not alright. He wanted to say.
But his words died down on his tongue as soon as he opened his eyes. Maybe he wasn’t god, but he was definitely a close competitor.
The man’s black hair was brushed to the side neatly, except for a few stubborn strands that covered his forehead. He had long eyelashes which grew longer from the inner to the outer corner of his eyes. Joshua had to bite his tongue to control the urge to touch it, he was certain that if the man closed his eyes, his lashes would sit right on his cheekbone. Oh, how pretty. His lips were plump and red, Joshua couldn’t stop himself from staring anymore.
He had a lot of things to say, but he didn’t know which one to say first.
“You’re not god.” He said without thinking, tone accusing.
The man laughed- giggled. His smile was bright but soft, Joshua internally swooned. “I never said I was.”
“Where’s god then?” Joshua slurred, everything was blurry except for the man in front of him.
He laughed again, this man must’ve thought god was funny. “Probably somewhere up there.” He tilted his head up.
“What? Like there?” Joshua raised a shaky hand to point somewhere, then scoffed. “That’s a cloud.”
“You’re pointing at a tree, actually.”
“What about there? Is that god?”
“I don’t think so, it looks more like a light post to me.”
“Huh.” Joshua hummed in thought. “Look at that,” He forced the man to look up with a hand on his cheek. “That’s the sun. God must be there.”
The man chuckled again. He gently held Joshua’s arm and brought it down. “That’s the moon and I don’t think god is in there.”
“Really?”
The man hummed.
“What else do you think?”
“I think you’re drunk.”
“No I’m n—”
“And I think you’re about to puke. Oh shit—”
Joshua clutched his stomach and gagged. “I don’t want to puke.” He unconsciously held the man’s arm for support.
“It’s alright, you can puke, I have a plastic bag here.” The man said in a rush, the panic in his movement was obvious as he struggled to dump the contents of the plastic bag he was now holding.
“No.” Joshua groaned, tasting something bitter in his mouth before finally letting it all out.
“There, there.” The man cooed and rubbed his back. When he finished, he tied the bag and put it aside.
Joshua sobbed, his body felt heavy, his head hurt, and his throat was sore. He belatedly realised that he was crying against the man’s chest but didn’t do anything about it.
“Help me.” He whined against the man’s shirt.
“Do you want anything?” The man’s voice was even gentler now, as if he was talking to a child, which only made his tone deeper.
Joshua thought hard about it but nothing came to mind. What did he want?
Has he ever wanted anything in his whole life? He was never given a choice, never allowed to want something beyond what his parents had planned. It wasn’t supposed to be, but the man gave him a really difficult question. Would it be possible to ask for an easier question? Like, What is the average atomic mass of carbon? That would be easier because it was a question that had a fixed answer.
Ah, right. He surely has a fixed answer for this man’s question. What was it again?
Do you want anything? Do you want… want?
“I want…” Joshua tried his best to remember, the man continued to rub his back comfortingly, it was making it hard to stay awake.
“Ah!” Joshua moved away from the man’s chest to face him with the most serious face he could muster.
“I want to be a doctor when I grow up.”
“Huh?” The man laughed, but his confusion was evident. “That’s not what I meant.” He smiled softly.
“Then what?” Joshua huffed.
“What do you want, right now?”
Shit, this question is even harder.
Instead of answering, Joshua cried.
“I-I don’t… d-don’t know,” He sniffed when the man pulled him to his chest again, his hand caressing Joshua’s head.
“It’s alright, don’t worry. You don’t have to answer it. Shh, I’m sorry for asking.” He kept on mumbling against Joshua’s hair, most of it didn’t even register to the latter as he focused on the man’s cologne.
What brand could it be? He smelled so good…
His ears caught the sound of bells ringing again and swiftly sat up straight, which must’ve startled the man because he heard him yelp.
“It’s god!”
“I thought we were clear that I wasn’t god.” Joshua turned to the man who was rubbing his chin. Did he hit him? Oops?
“But—” Joshua cut himself off when he was struck by the strong smell of pizza.
“Hey, you okay?” The man called when Joshua zoned out.
Joshua turned to him with a pout. “I want pizza…”
That was alright, right? He could eat pizza, right?
“Pizza?”
Gosh, his mother would throw a fit if she found out.
“With… with lots of cheese, please. Like, like the ones in commercials.”
“Like a cheese pizza?”
“Those are a thing?”
The man chuckled, his hand reaching out to softly pinch Joshua’s cheek. “Yeah. You want one?”
“Yes please.” Joshua chirped. He smiled sweetly and sat with a straight posture.
Well, his mother didn’t have to know.
“Cute.” The man mumbled to himself. “Alright, I’ll get us some pizza. Wait here, you’re lucky the pizza store is near.”
This would be the first and last time, mother doesn’t have to know.
Joshua didn’t know how much time had passed since, since… What was his name again?
Would the pizza he bought look the same as the ones in commercials? How would it taste? His mother bought pizza once on his fifteenth birthday, but he wasn’t allowed to have any because only the guest could eat. It smelled really good too. He remembered silently crying because he had to eat salads on his birthday. How silly of him to cry because of such a small thing, salads are better because they are healthier.
He remembered all the commercials that advertised pizzas. Apparently, there were different toppings available and there were pizzas that were as big as tables. Joshua could practically smell it, the cheesy, fresh-baked scent.
“Are you snoring?”
Joshua jolted awake at the voice near his ear. “What? No- I’m up, I’m up.”
He chuckled. “Okay, Up. Here’s your pizza.”
Joshua gasped as he opened the box. “It looks so good,” He whispered in awe, hand hovering above the food.
“Are you crying? Seriously?” The man laughed at him as tears rolled down his cheeks.
“S-Shut up, It’s ‘cause I’m drunk.”
“Right.” He conceded. “Here, drink this first.” He handed Joshua a bottle of water while he opened his can of soda.
Joshua glared at the can on the other’s hand. “Why do you get soda and I get a boring, sad, bottle of water.” He sniffed.
“Because you’re drunk. Drink up.” He smiled like a preschool teacher, eyes forcing Joshua to drink.
“That’s no fair.” He mumbled before taking a big gulp of water.
Hm. Refreshing. His throat didn’t feel as sore now.
“Feel better?”
Joshua nodded.
“Good. Here.” The man smiled and handed him a slice of pizza.
Joshua sucked in a breath. He let go of the bottle in his hand to hold the pizza with both hands. His very first slice.
“Thank you…” He stared at the pizza, vision going blurry once again. How many times was he going to cry today? “T-thank you mister not-god.”
The man chortled. “Just call me Cheol.”
“Is that your name?” Joshua perked up in interest.
“It’s a part of my name, yeah.”
“What’s the other part of your name?”
“Seung.”
“CheolSeung?” The words rolled uncomfortably on his tongue which made the other laugh again.
“It’s Seungcheol.” Seungcheol gently caressed his hair. “What about you?”
“Joshua.” He answered, now back to staring at the pizza in his hands. “Now we’re not strangers anymore.” Joshua smiled to himself.
“Were you worried about eating pizza with a stranger?” Seungcheol teased.
“Shut up. This is a special moment for me.”
“Technically, we are still strangers.”
Joshua clicked his tongue in disagreement. “We know each other’s name now. I count us as acquaintances, which is good enough.”
Seungcheol just shook his head, a fond smile practically stuck on his face. “Alright my dear acquaintance, why don’t we take a bite at the same time?” He said as he took a slice of pizza for himself.
Joshua agreed in excitement and eagerly held his pizza slice towards Seungcheol.
“Cheers.” They both said before simultaneously taking a bite.
Joshua's eyes grew big and bright. Seungcheol watched his reaction with adoration.
“Taste good?” He asked.
“This is the best food I’ve ever had. M’gonna eat it everyday.” He mumbled through a mouthful of pizza which honestly should be disgusting, but Seungcheol just found him cute.
“I don’t think pizza everyday is good for you.”
“You think too much.”
They continued to eat the pizza in silence. Seungcheol pretended Joshua wasn't adorable when he shyly took a second slice, and Joshua thanked the heavens for letting him meet Seungcheol today.
Joshua didn’t even notice that he was starving until he finished his third slice. He glanced at Seungcheol to check if he was looking before discreetly taking another slice.
He cleared his throat. “This is my first date.”
Seungcheol coughed around a surprised laugh. “Pizza and soda while we sit on the sidewalk? That’s your ideal date?”
“Soda for you, pizza and water for me because you’re unfair.” Joshua playfully glared at him.
“The soda would’ve made you feel worse. It’s better this way.”
“Couldn’t you have gotten water for yourself too? You’re just making me jealous.” He pouted.
“I was thinking of getting beer, actually.” Seungcheol giggled because of Joshua’s cute face of betrayal.
“I’m taking back your acquaintance title.”
“Aw, but I thought I was your date?” Seungcheol teased.
Joshua feigned offence. “Not anymore, you soda-inhaler!”
Seungcheol didn’t know he could be this happy with someone he just met. He couldn’t count with his fingers how many times he laughed. Though they just met, he felt strangely comfortable with Joshua.
“Your loss, pizza-inhaler.” Seungcheol retorted.
“Hey!” Joshua felt wronged. “It’s my first time, alright? Give me a break.”
“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” Seungcheol didn’t want to ruin the mood, so he bit back his curiosity. How come this is his first time eating pizza? “It’s very cute how you inhale your pizza.” He opted to say instead. Maybe that was a story for next time.
—If there was a next time.
He hoped there would be.
“Whatever.” Joshua rolled his eyes.
“Am I your date again?” Seungcheol asked, eyes bright.
“Sure.” There was a smile on Joshua’s face as he turned away from Seungcheol, his smile was barely visible, the corner of his lips only slightly more curved upwards than usual. Seungcheol saw it but didn’t say anything, he smiled in return, even though Joshua couldn’t see it.
Joshua gasped when he turned around and found no more pizza in the box. “It’s gone?”
“Yep, It’s all in here now.” Seungcheol jokingly poked his stomach which made Joshua giggle. “Don’t! That tickles!”
Another beat of comfortable silence dawned upon them. Joshua scooted closer to Seungcheol and leaned his head on the latter’s shoulder as they observed the lonely street they’re in. He didn’t know what time it was, but it must’ve been way past midnight. Maybe the time was closer to morning than night, but strangely, he didn’t feel tired.
“Thank you for the pizza.”
The sincerity in Joshua’s voice took Seungcheol aback, he didn’t know how long it took before he was able to reply. “You’re welcome. You ate it well. I’m glad.”
“I think I deserve a kiss.”
Seungcheol inhaled sharply. “Wha-” He cleared his throat. “What for? Eating pizza?”
Joshua gave a nonchalant shrug. “It was a hard decision.”
Seungcheol fought back his eagerness. “You’re drunk.”
“Is that a no?
“Uh- not really? Just-”
“But I'm not drunk anymore.” Joshua raised his head from his place on Seungcheol’s shoulder. They sat, eye-to-eye, close enough that a little nudge would make their noses touch.
“Really?” Seungcheol whispered, the atmosphere turning intimate.
Joshua’s gaze was stuck on Seungcheol's plump lips as he replied. “Just tipsy.”
Seungcheol gulped.
“So? Will you kiss me?” He asked again, tearing his eyes away from Seungcheol’s lips to look at him.
It was unfair. Joshua looked so pretty. God . How could he deny him?
Seungcheol didn’t reply. He closed his eyes and slowly leaned closer until he felt their lips touch.
Joshua’s lips were soft and pliant against his. Warm adoration coursed through his entire body at Joshua’s obvious eagerness to please. He responded to every move of Seungcheol’s lips with subtle passion, his hand pressing on Seungcheol’s shoulder.
He was flooded with the sweet scent of vanilla as he tilted his head to deepen their kiss, his hand wrapped around Joshua’s nape, goosebumps blooming on the skin where he touched. The latter hummed when their tongues met, the vibration it made against his lips did nothing to calm Seungcheol’s heart. He wondered if Joshua could hear just how loudly his heart thumped against his chest, wondered if he could feel it as their chests touched.
Joshua was first to pull away, panting as he did so. Seungcheol had to fight the urge to chase his lips, already addicted.
When both their hearts had calmed down, Joshua started to giggle, he leaned his head on Seungcheol's chest.
“What’s funny?” Seungcheol asked, but he was also grinning. He combed his fingers through Joshua’s soft black hair, gently massaging his scalp.
Joshua tucked his head on the crook of Seungcheol’s neck. “Nothing, just happy.”
Seungcheol shut his eyes tightly when he felt another wave of adoration course through him.
Was it possible to fall in love with someone you just met?
“Are you happy too?” Joshua asked as he pulled away to face Seungcheol, though the latter’s hand remained on the back of his neck. A grounding presence.
“Yeah. I am.” It came out more honest and vulnerable than Seungcheol intended, but he didn’t mind.
Not when Joshua smiled in return. Eyes curved and almost closed, his cheeks round and his nose scrunched.
Right then, he was the epitome of happiness. Seungcheol couldn’t help it, he pulled him by the back of his neck and kissed him again.
It tasted like pizza, and a little bit of love.