Chapter Text
Dib was sitting on a bench, it was an ordinary day really, there wasn't much to complain about. It was bright, sunny and not really summer weather, so he got to wear his favorite trench-coat.
"I demand to know what the Dib is doing!" Of course, it had to be ruined by a certain bug who had taken up annoying him as the years went by.
"Sitting here? I'm taking the bus today; I don't feel like walking today. Don't you have some eeeevil plans to be.. planning?"
"You WANT me to do my ...evilness!?!" The Invader still had the same clothes as he did when they were kids, he still thinks that it kind of looks like what a bee would wear if they had a uniform.. and were bigger than they were supposed to be. "I SUPPOSE that could be arranged..."
"No, NO, I've been having a pretty calm week! You're not ruining my free time I could be using for hunting cryptids!"
The alien only gives Dib a smug looking smile, "Zim hears what's coming out of your stinky pig-mouth."
"I brushed my teeth! JUST, what are you doing here?" He swears he can feel the pounding of his future headache as Zim purposely sits next to him on the bench, actively making an exaggerated disgusted look.
"EUGH!"
Dib smirks at Zim and leans over to drive the point home. It's fun to get a reaction out of him, even if it could potentially start a fight, "Welcome to Earth, how's the stay?"
"You ask too many questions!" Zim squirms around in his seat until he finds a spot he likes and begrudgingly sits there without much fidgeting, with all the time he's spent watching the Invader, he doesn't think he's seen him actually relax or sit without something to do. "Mmm.. The stay is decent, but it'll be even better once I conquer Earth and watch as you puny humans squirm underneath my rule."
"You wish! I'll never give up stopping you for as long as I live! You'll be exposed one day, freak!" It was a longstanding argument and fight between the two of them, neither of them had won this one. Dib leaned over and held the Irken by the collar, so much for a calm weekend, but at this point, fighting was routine and one that neither of them would break no matter what their confusing relationship was now like, "They'll even write MY name on the cover, in honour of me!"
That was what set the alien off, he had a tendency to be narcissistic. Well not a tendency, it was a part of his personality which was unfortunate in some cases, but worked perfectly in this case.
Zim quickly took out his pak legs to pierce through his shirt and shove him to the side, taking the opportunity to throw himself against Dib, (and trust me, I wouldn't imagine a bug full of technology to be very light,) and give him a swift punch to the jaw. It wasn't hard to imagine that he was holding back but he certainly doesn't go easy when they have their fights.
Dib scrambled to kick Zim in the abdomen and when he tried to get up to have a higher ground than him, he kicked him in his knee and watched him tumble onto his stomach. He didn't show any real indicator of being actually hurt; he knew what the limits were before it turned into a full brawl.
A stranger walked by, and Zim immediately put away his pak legs and Dib immediately sat up while he was covered in some damage from the very small rocks surrounding the area. Zim started to make what sounded like whistling noises, though it didn't sound.. human. Which you'd think he'd expect by now, but it still catches him by surprise.
There's still so much he doesn't know about him, if only he could reach inside.. No, no, no ACTUALLY thinking like that again. He was over it, his complex and paranoia wouldn't get him this time! It's been affecting him since he was younger, Yes, he's had proper reason to be wary and downright aggressive at the literal Invader but as they started becoming a lot more friendly towards each other, thoughts still continued despite the new dynamic.
He sometimes thinks he thinks too much.
Dib immediately started up some trouble again once the stranger walked past the two and grabbed a long slimy worm, shoving it towards Zim's direction with an evil glint in his eyes. It was met with a screech, a very dramatic and screechy.. screech. Don't know how Zim manages to double the screech.
He backed off quickly, crawling backwards like a particularly bad spider and looking at the worm like it personally had killed his entire family, "GET THAT WRETCHED, NASTY WORM AWAY FROM ZIM'S PRESENCE!"
"Scared of a little worm, SPACE BOY!?" He shoved it towards Zim's direction again while it wriggled in his palm, if the alien could go pale, he would be practically white, "Now tell me why you're here! You never take the bus!"
Dib swore he saw an antenna shift from underneath the wig, "Your puny brain wouldn't understand."
"Bold words for someone who's being threatened by their worst nemesis!"
"YOU, MY WORST NEMESIS!?"
"No, THE WORM."
The bus drove by and stopped at its stop to open the door for the two weirdos on the floor and Zim immediately scrambled onto the bus's stairs, regretting his decision when he saw how dirty the vehicle was. Dib was right behind him with a smug look, not letting him escape this.
Dib nudged the alien towards a seat and pushed him into the seat nearest to the window then sat right next to him. He purposely took up as much space as possible just to annoy Zim and it did get a grumpy grumble from the Irken, so he'd count that as a win.
"YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE!" Zim made sure to be loud as per usual, not that he wouldn't be, even if they weren't in a minor fight, "Subjecting your future overlord to THESE conditions."
"WELL, My "Lord", Last time I recalled, you're an invader. Aren't you supposed to be good at this whole blending-in-thing?"
"There's humans who can't stand these.. vei-eh-cles too!" Zim made sure to raise his voice, to make sure the people on the bus could hear him, "NOT THAT I WASN'T HUMAN IN THE FIRST PLACE, I AM HUMAN, I AM NORMAL."
Dib can feel the headache coming on.
Zim continued, no regards to pausing and letting others speak, he was never good with this whole social thing, "Yes, yes.. Zim blends in very well, None of the pig-larvae suspects anything."
"Yeah, such a good disguise, so much so that your skin is STILL green." He rolls his eyes, "Still don't know how people can ignore that."
"I don't know how people can ignore your massive head." Zim gave a little smirk and flicked Dib's head, "It's as big as a Kaq'aet, not that your primitive species would know what THAT is."
With all that smack Zim had been talking, karma finally bit him in the ass and the bus drove over a pothole. Some kids on the bus groaned but Zim? Oh Zim.. Poor poor Zim. He screamed, not expecting the road to fight back. Dib started laughing and laughing, God he couldn't breathe at all, If only he had his camera on him.
"STUPID, HUMAN! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, THE ROAD IS RETALIATING!" Zim looked like he was struggling in place in panic, "THE SEAT IS RETALIATING! ZIM IS STUCK!"
Obviously, both of them were causing a very big commotion.
The bus driver turns around, "SHUT UP BACK THERE." Not that she cared what was going on, it's just what all bus drivers do, they yell, much louder than any kid. Except maybe Zim, but he's always an exception.
Dib felt like he was going to faint, covering his own mouth while hyperventilating from laughing so much. "WAIT, Wait, Holy shit.." He huffs and calms himself down before checking the situation seriously this time, "You said you're stuck?"
"THE CHAIR HAS GOT ZIM!" Dib realized far too late that it wasn't anger nor was it him being overdramatic, he was actually stuck in the chair.
"No, idiot, your legs are in the chair." Nailed it on the empathy.
"I KNOW THAT! I CAN FEEL IT'S CHAIRY INSIDES AND- AND EUGHH!"
"Well quit squirming and let me help you!"
Zim finally settles down, still disgusted by the sensory feedback and also a bit nervous as to what Dib was planning to do to unstuck him. He could've turned off the feedback, but he was in a particularly tricky situation earlier that required it being on.
Dib put a hand on his upper back and made him lean forward as much as he could, then in Dib-like fashion, started yanking on it. I mean, what else could be the answer? Not like you can cut off these limbs easily and you certainly most likely wouldn't be able to bend it.
"What's wrong with your legs anyway! Aren't they just metal? How do you feel with them?"
"You're not going to get answers out of Zim! I WILL NOT BE SUBJECTED TO YOUR INTERROGATION!"
Dib put a foot onto the chair and pulled as hard as he could on the legs, not that it was a smart thing to do. The bus hit a few bumps and then came to a very quick stop, forcing the legs out, but also forcing his and Zim's head into the back of someone else's seat.
"OW!"
"AGHH!"
They both sat up in their seats and fixed themselves up, after all that? Their clothes were probably all filthy with dirt and dust, let alone their hair. Not that Dib took care of himself well at all or cared enough to, but a bit of dust would probably tangle his hair or frizz it up, especially if it rained later. Which he hoped, for the bug’s sake, it doesn’t.
"And where's my "Thank you?""
Zim grumbled and didn't say anything while grabbing Dib's hand, forcing it open. "..What are you doing?"
"Shut." The alien did a non-verbal sign, equivalent of "shut the fuck up" and took a chocolate bar out of his pak and smacked it into his hand, before getting up and getting out of the bus as quickly as possible.
He paused for a moment and looked up to thank him, but he was gone before he knew it. "..Wow, what an asshole." He said it with a light tone and looked at the chocolate bar to make sure it didn't have any tears in it before opening it up and munching on it before school.