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Namjoon closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to get rid of this headache that refuses to leave. He can feel the build-up of pressure beneath his eyes and wonders if he still has painkillers at home or if he needs to pick some up after he leaves the library. Something that looks to be happening soon because he can't focus on studying, not with the pain that feels like it's slowly growing to overtake his entire head.
He hears the sound of something being set down close to him. Luckily soft enough that he doesn't feel like an ice-pick has been shoved through his skull, but he still can't stop the flinch that rolls through him slightly at the sound.
"Sorry," he hears. It's Hoseok. Jung Hoseok, Jimin's new roommate and an alpha that Namjoon wishes he didn't find as handsome as he does. It sounds terrible, but Namjoon has long gotten used to the fact that every single alpha he likes ends up being an asshole. They see Namjoon as someone they can treat like shit because he's tall and getting buff. He doesn't need to be pampered, but they don't bother to ask if Namjoon wants that. They don't bother to find out if Namjoon does want to be babied and pampered, treated like a precious omega that needs an alpha. He knows it isn't very omegaist of him, but he can't give a shit. He wants to be someone's sweet baby and isn't ashamed.
He just doesn't say anything because he's tired of people laughing at him.
He's sure that one day, an alpha will come along who will treat him like he deserves. And if they don't, then. . . . Then he'll figure out a way to be happy without them.
He makes himself look up to give Hoseok a stiff smile and nod. He hopes it doesn't look as bad as Namjoon fears, but Hoseok frowns as he looks at it.
"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice filled with concern. His hand raises slightly, but he forces it down. Namjoon can't stop himself from tracking the movement. "You look really pale."
Namjoon shrugs his shoulders, wincing at how that makes the pain lace through his neck. It just makes Hoseok look even more worried, inching closer to Namjoon. "Seriously, Namjoon-ssi. Do you need help?"
He opens his mouth to tell Hoseok that while he appreciates the offer of help, he's okay. He's used to taking care of himself and, failing that, calling Seokjin to ask for any leftover soup that the older omega might have made recently. But the only thing leaving his mouth is a high whimper as his stomach cramps. He's bending over before fully registering the pain, an arm looping around his stomach as his forehead touches the cool table.
"Shit," Hoseok whispers. Namjoon agrees, but he can't say anything. He's too focused on trying to breathe through the pain, his stomach cramping as it reminds him that his heat is right around the corner. And he's one of the unlucky omegas who feels achy and nauseous throughout the entire thing, so bad that he usually misses more days of school than omegas typically do because of their heats. He's long gotten used to it and learned how to do more than makeup for the missed days, but it never gets easier .
It doesn't help that his pre-heat is never on the schedule that, thankfully, his heats regularly are. Sometimes it hits just a day before his heat, sometimes just hours, and sometimes days before. Like right now. His heat isn't due to start for five days, meaning he will have to endure this for five days.
When it's this long, his heat, rarely spent with a partner and thus is something he never looks forward to, is almost a blessing just so that he can feel miserable in an entirely different way.
He can feel tears on the table, and he bites his lip so that he can't let out the sobs that are positively aching to burst out of his throat. He knows that he needs to get back to his apartment, but that feels impossible right now.
"Namjoon-ssi, I'm going to call Jimin." He hears noise next to him, likely Hoseok pulling out his phone. Namjoon whines as he shakes his head.
"No," he mumbles. "Don't call him. Busan."
Hoseok is still next to him. "Shit," he whispers. "I forgot."
Jimin is in Busan this weekend, returning with his boyfriend to see their families. Namjoon knows that he can call Seokjin, Yoongi, or Taehyung, but Seokjin had mentioned how happy he was to have his alphas all to himself this weekend, with no classes or work to worry about. Of course, Seokjin would drop everything to help him, but Namjoon doesn't want that.
He forces his head up and squints at Hoseok, praying he doesn't vomit. "Can you please help me?" He wipes his bangs out of his face, wincing when he feels how sweaty they already are. "Just to get home. I promise." Another cramp ripples through him, and he has to fall forward, another whimper falling out of his mouth as he curses his biological impulses. " Please ."
"Of course," Hoseok breathes out. "Where do you live?"
Namjoon rattles off his address, wincing as the cramps begin to hit in quick succession. He tries to stand up but knows he won't be able to stand up on his own. He grips the table as he stands on his shaking legs, trying to figure out how to walk out of this library on his own two feet and not crawl. He already knows he looks like a pathetic mess, but he wants to rescue as much of his dignity as possible.
But he can feel his knees buckling and knows he's about to go down. He closes his eyes as he prepares for the impact, but it never happens. Instead, his stomach swoops as he's lifted into the air, and his eyes fly open to stare into Hoseok's surprised face. Hoseok, who is carefully holding him in his arms like Namjoon weighs nothing, and now his heart is beating fast for reasons he isn't sure he wants to think about.
"What?" he mumbles unintelligently. Hoseok has shoved all of their belongings into both of their bags, slung over his shoulders. He's looking at Namjoon in concern.
"Are you okay?" Hoseok asks, seemingly unaware of the turmoil he's sending Namjoon in. The turmoil that he's confused by the existence about. Hoseok is just holding him in his arms. Like he's weightless. Like Namjoon is delicate and precious, and his height isn't used as an excuse for why he must like it rough.
Hoseok didn't even hesitate. He knew that he could carry Namjoon.
A wave of arousal shoots through his body, and he curls into Hoseok, burying his face into the alpha's neck. He doesn't want to face his feelings right now because that will only lead to trouble. The only other alphas that have ever seen Namjoon as the omega he wants to be are in love with other people, and simply because Hoseok meets his standard for human interaction doesn't mean that Namjoon can let yet another crush grow before it's brutally shut down.
He nods, clinging tight to Hoseok as he takes a deep breath and lets the scent of oranges fill his senses. It instantly calms something in his body, his mind telling him that this alpha is a protector. His mind foolishly holds onto hope that doesn't exist, but he can't argue with it when it feels so good to accept.
He tells himself that he can remember reality after Hoseok drops him off at his apartment. What's the harm in having a few moments of his mind believing he has an alpha?
(He knows the harm. He just needs to believe right now because otherwise, he will break down sobbing in Hoseok's arms.)
*
Hoseok doesn't drop him off at his apartment. Hoseok doesn't just drop him off at his apartment. What Hoseok does is he takes Namjoon to his apartment and helps him to the bathroom. He doesn't insist on helping Namjoon clean off the sweat and slick already covering his body, likely knowing how uncomfortable that would make Namjoon. Still, he insists on making sure that the door is cracked open after he finishes drawing the bath so that Namjoon can call for help or that Hoseok can hear if anything crashes.
Namjoon knows it's pathetic to tear up even more at the words, but he hasn't had an alpha say something like that to him in his entire life. At least an alpha that wasn't already dating someone else. Which Namjoon refuses to take for granted because they are his closest friends, but there is something different about Hoseok right now.
Namjoon doesn't know how to define it entirely, but it's there. It's there, and he doesn't want it to leave.
And Hoseok manages to shock him even more because when Namjoon is out of the bathroom, stumbling towards his room, there's water and food on his nightstand. He usually crawls to the kitchen hours later when he realizes he needs these things, or he calls someone in tears, begging them for help because he forgot how to make his legs move.
It's the first time he's ever had an alpha have it ready for him. A single alpha that doesn't seem to have any expectations of Namjoon for his heat, that's looking at him with worry because Namjoon is crying in the middle of his bedroom over the display of common human decency.
Hoseok's hands flutter over his body before gently touching his shoulders, guiding him to the bed as he asks Namjoon if he's okay. Namjoon doesn't know how to respond because everything is incredible, and that's terrifying. Alphas don't treat Namjoon like this. Alphas want to find out how much Namjoon can take until he's walking out the door of another person he had desperately hoped he could trust.
No one has ever gone as far as Hoseok to gain his trust, and Namjoon doesn't know how he could handle it if it turns out that Hoseok isn't being genuine. But he doesn't know how he can doubt Hoseok. Not when the alpha carefully tucks him into bed, his thumb gliding along his cheekbone to remove Namjoon's stray tears as he tells him it's okay.
Namjoon can go to sleep. Hoseok will stay, and it's only then that Namjoon realizes that he's begging Hoseok not to leave him through chattering teeth, both of his hands wrapped around the wrist of the hand that's still wiping away his tears. A part of him feels a pang of humiliation over his behavior, but a bigger part is just so happy to know that he won't be alone when he wakes up.
At some point, Hoseok ends up lying on the bed, pulling Namjoon close to his body so that he can fall asleep right on top of him, his head using Hoseok's chest as a pillow as he continues to sob. So it's with that Namjoon finally falls asleep, his hands wrapped in the soft cotton of Hoseok's shirt.
*
The moment he wakes up, he remembers everything to his deep humiliation. He knows he's still lying on Hoseok's body, and he can't make his fingers uncurl from his shirt because his body is at the pre-heat stage where everything is so fucking cold. He's shivering as he clings to Hoseok, and he can't let go despite all his embarrassment. He can only open his eyes and turn his face towards Hoseok, knowing that he's turning bright red and sure that the alpha must be laughing at him.
But no. Hoseok is blinking awake, holding Namjoon close, and smiling at Namjoon like he wasn't inconvenienced tonight by Namjoon's inability to have normal pre-heats.
"Hey," he says, his voice deep and sexy and sounding far too good for someone that Namjoon forced to cuddle with him. "How are you feeling?" He puts some of Namjoon's hair behind his ear, and it feels so good that it nearly takes him out on the spot. "I was nervous last night, but Jimin told me you have bad pre-heats when I called him. Said just had to cuddle you, and it would be okay."
Jimin's right, but he didn't need to tell Hoseok. Namjoon feels his face burning as he looks away, no longer wanting to be distracted by Hoseok's handsomeness. It's frustrating and annoying when Namjoon knows he won't be able to for much longer.
So Hoseok's following words take him out.
"He also said you've had to deal with shitty alphas that don't pamper you like you deserve." His hand begins to scratch Namjoon's head, forcing him to lay still and do his best not to move his head like a cat as he tries to get the hand to move to all the spots. "And that I need to make sure that you know I want to spoil you rotten because you've been hurt too many times to just trust." He chuckles weakly. "I was hoping that it wouldn't happen in a moment where you were that vulnerable, though."
Namjoon is struggling to put things together, his mind moving too fast as it snaps that he might need to kill Jimin or that he might need to worship him. He's not sure. It could go either way. And that Hoseok wants to pamper him. He doesn't just assume that Namjoon can take anything. He doesn't assume that Namjoon doesn't want anything. He doesn't. . . .
And he doesn't think it's ridiculous.
"It's okay," he whispers, his voice hoarse. "It was a pretty good audition." He unsuccessfully tries to force the blush off his cheeks when he continues, "So if you want to do it again, I'd be happy."
Hoseok's hand stills for a moment before it continues. Finally, Namjoon stops fighting the urge to move.
"Good," Hoseok says. "Because I want to show you just how well I can take care of you, Joon-ah."
The nickname makes Namjoon squeak, unused to hearing it from the mouth of someone who isn't Seokjin or Yoongi. And Hoseok says it so differently than them.
(He loves it. He can't wait to hear him say it over and over again.)