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Call it what you will. Hot water. Thin ice. That was your current predicament.
If you had to choose one word to describe your existence, it’d be unfortunate.
Your boyfriend, who was less a boyfriend more a controlling owner, was standing in front of you. A fire blazing openly inside his angry eyes.
You couldn’t feel your fingers anymore, from having fisted your hands for so long. Nails digging into your sweaty palms.
He’s staring at you.
“You went against my word when I explicitly told you not to.”
You knew he absolutely loathed it when you didn’t answer. You weren’t a stone statue who could only stare or he would’ve loved to drop you off to the nearest museum, he’d often say.
So you needed to talk.
“Everyone else’s partners came, Hoseok. I only wanted to be there for you.”
“I know exactly why you wanted to be there. Does everyone pity you now huh?”
Nothing comes.
“Is everyone on your side? Have you gotten what you wanted?” He questions. His demeanor, dominant.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
“You do and you understand well.”
There’s a long pause.
“You think I haven’t noticed you plotting your so called escape day and night? Haven’t seen how my wallets keep thinning out when I don’t even use them? You’re not even locked up Y/N, you are free to go anywhere. But you’re so desperate to get away from me.”
Well yeah you were.
“Don’t you see how much I need you?” I can’t let you leave my love–"
He kept on talking whatever nonsense it was, his words incoherent, you honestly couldn’t care now. He meant none of it.
But this was just the spoken. What worried you was what he was going to do to you physically. There were no guesses to be made. He wasn’t predictable whatsoever in his ways when it came to you.
And all the blame for your impending suffering would be on a small gathering. Your presence in it.
When you’d heard they was an after-party arranged for just the families and partners of his group, you knew you needed to attend.
He’d still be in the post concert emotional unawareness of his surroundings and you needed to get yourself help.
Be it at the hands of his best mates.
Only this time, he wasn’t unaware. And when he saw how Jimin tensed up significantly while you sat with him staring off into the distance as words flowed from your mouth, he saw his options limiting.
That’s when you see him off the corner of your eye closing in on you.
Too much. Way too much happens within a span of five seconds and you’re too dazed to process it.
But the gist of it being, Jimin standing up immediately, one hand cupped behind his neck, the other hanging low, and you being gripped by the arms, hard, Hoseok you think, as he mutters a “We have to go now, darling.” and pulls you out of there.
If you had gotten two more minutes, just two, you were sure you would’ve gotten your point across to Jimin. You did say a lot but it was not good enough.
Not clear enough.
And you found yourself quickly doubting the amount of trust you put in the young man.
..
“What didn’t I give you Y/N? What more did you require of me? Tell me!!”
As you’re pulled back to your surroundings, Hoseok’s words dawn on you.
What more? Nothing. You didn’t want anything from him. Not what he’d give. Not what he was giving. You wanted none of it.
“You betrayed me Y/N.”
His voice dropped several octaves just then but when you’d expect it to sound threatening, it sounded hurt. Genuinely betrayed.
As it slowly registers, you start to question yourself more and more.
Did he deserve it?
Were you wrong?
He did care for you, provide for you. Didn’t he at least get to decide where you could and couldn’t go? You shouldn’t have disregarded him like that. Right?
So you deserved punishment? You needed to atone your sins.
He was gaslighting you into thinking this was all somehow your fault. Unfortunately, he wasn’t failing.
“What will you do to me?” your voice cracks.
“Whatever I do to you now won’t hurt half as much as your betrayal.” his heart shaped lips stretch thin.
He’d never gotten violent with you before. Never before had he touched you, with the intention of having you, without mutual consent. You so desperately wanted it to remain that way. But his punishments were wild. He was capable of anything.
You whimper weakly.
“You’ve left me with no choice Y/N. You only have yourself to blame.” he says.
Your thoughts still.
Your mental protests dying down.
He was right.
“I hope you enjoyed the dinner. It was your last for a while.”
No. No no no.
“No. I- I’ll do anything. I.. I’ll find a way and you’ll forgive me.”
You forget how to breathe.
“Mmm can’t picture it. But I’d love to see you try.”
Just maybe he’d have you take part in physical labor.
You were after all in perfect health. Bit too healthy for his liking.
He could just see himself brushing his lips gingerly over your overly pronounced collarbones, and you would know exactly why he seemed so content with starving you.