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“Pretend to be my girlfriend.”
Those words rang in Ran’s ears all over again while her heart kept hammering in her chest like mad. She understood what they meant, yet all she was capable of doing was staring at those blue eyes that stared back at her with crystal-clear determination.
Shinichi, asking her to be his pretend girlfriend? Part of her wanted to laugh. God, Shinichi would never ask anything like that!
But his expression was so serious, and more than that, he seemed to be nervous. And that was enough for Ran to understand that this was probably something serious, which just made everything more complicated.
Pretend to be his girlfriend? Her cheeks felt warm even though she was pretty sure that there were all the reasons in the world she shouldn’t agree.
“Pretend… to be… your… girlfriend?” she asked with hesitation. Good thing her father wasn’t home; in fact, that had been the first thing Shinichi had asked when she had opened the door. It had been a weird question, but now she understood why.
“Why?”
Shinichi looked away. “Do you know Hakurei Saika?”
Oh, her… Well, if he had asked a week ago, she would have said not really. But now…
A month ago a new girl moved into their school. Ran had seen that slim, fair-skinned short-haired girl with those light blue eyes, and that rosy smile, but since she was in another class group, Ran never really got a chance to introduce herself or get to know her personally. Yet news traveled fast, and she heard plenty of gossips: Her classmates reported that she was plenty smart, talented, and self-assured. Boys seemed to have a crush on that girl, and she remembered that even Sonoko had once grumbled about how almost everyone seemed to be in love with that newcomer, and Ran had reassured her that it would all pass sooner or later.
Had it? Ran couldn’t really tell, because she hadn’t given it much more thought. Not until a couple of days ago, when that girl had asked to meet her. She had wondered why, but as soon as they were alone by the sports shed, she introduced herself as Hakurei Saika and asked what was her relationship with Shinichi.
Ran had been confused by the question, but she answered that they were just childhood friends. The same answer as always.
“Nothing more?” Sakai had asked. Ran frowned, further confused about the question. Only then had Sakai clarified the question to “You two aren’t dating”, which had made Ran blush.
She had denied it. Of course, she had! Like she should. Because it was the truth.
Yet she still could remember how pleased Sakai had looked. That expression had haunted her dreams. “Excellent”, she had said. “Because everyone in this school seems to think you two are some kind of meant-to-be. But if that’s the truth, then good.” And then she had dropped that bomb, the words that would be inked into Ran’s mind, probably forever: “Brilliant. Because I’m in love with him, and I don’t care to waste my time fighting over him with some silly little ho-hum.”
Ran looked away, because she knew that Shinichi would probably notice her expression, and she didn’t want to tell him - not like this. And to be honest, she wasn’t still sure if Shinichi would ever feel the same, even though all their classmates seemed to think that he was already onboard. How could they know? They always told her that he behaved differently around her and did everything for her, but to be honest, she couldn’t see anything different or special in his behavior when he was with her. Just the same as he’d been all these years. The same Shinichi, one of her best friends, reliable and always there for her. Sometimes a little too teasing, a little too full of himself, but deep down endlessly kind and caring. Someone she always knew that she could rely on.
There were no signs that he would ever like her as more than a friend. No signs except what others made up.
But knowing that newcomer had got her eyes on Shinichi… Well, she has to admit to herself that she had been sad about it, but who was she to make decisions for Shinichi? In the end, if Shinichi did like that girl, then she couldn’t do anything other than support him and make sure that that girl wouldn’t treat him wrong.
But if he was asking her to pretend to be his girlfriend, did that mean he wasn’t interested in Sakai?
“I… I know her”, she answered eventually and looked back at Shinichi, who observed her closely. “Not personally, though, just heard about her and saw her a few times”, she added.
“You haven’t missed anything”, he said and turned, walking a few steps towards the windows. “She’s nothing more than a pain in the ass.”
“Shinichi!” Ran scolded, trying not to acknowledge the part of her, deep down, that was beaming. Shinichi just glanced at her before shrugging and turning to look out the window. Ran watched how he put his hands into his pockets. She could understand why girls were so easily attracted to him. He was handsome, she couldn’t deny it. But… well, at least she wanted to believe that she knew him thoroughly and liked him for more than just his looks.
“Did you know that she has a crush on me?”
Something tightened Ran’s chest. “I… have heard something like that”, she answered and looked away. God, she didn’t want to tell him about their conversation. “But… since you haven’t talked about her…”
“I don’t like her!”
The sharp, almost bitter tone in his voice surprised Ran. She turned to look at him. He had turned to look at her with eyes so annoyed, so… Like she had accused him of something unfair.
But she hadn’t, right?
“I didn’t say you did”, she said gently, offering a smile. He seemed to relax a little bit before looking away. “And if you don’t, then you should tell her that.”
“I did”, he answered and turned back to the window. “When she came to me and told me she likes me, I - nicely, I might add”, Ran let out a little laugh, “told her that I’m sorry, but I’m not interested.” He let out a dry laugh. “Heck, I even felt a little bad for her. But you know, she didn’t even blink.”
She smiled dryly at that. “Well, not everyone gets heartbroken after the great detective turns them down”, she tutted.
She saw how he shook his head.
“She keeps coming back, telling me that she likes me”, he continued and turned back to her. “And every time I turned her down. First nicely, then I told her it straight into her face, and… well”, he looked a little ashamed. “Well, maybe I got meaner than I should have, but I thought that kind of language would get through to her.” He shook his head again. “But no! She won’t stop coming. And when I asked why, she told me that as long as I’m not dating anyone, she can flirt with me and try to win me over because, and exact words here: we’re destined to be .”
Well, that wasn’t something Ran liked hearing, but…
“Then why don’t you give her a chance?” she asked slowly. He looked at her like she had gone insane. Well, she didn’t fully know why she’d said it either, but... “After that, if you still aren’t interested, maybe she would understand…”
He let out a single dry laugh and turned away. “I doubt it”, he answered. “And honestly, I’m not interested at all. It wouldn’t be more than a waste of time. For both of us.”
“Come on. That’s rude”, Ran commented.
Shinichi looked back at her. “Well, would you want to go on a date with someone you have zero interest in?”
Ran turned aside. The idea that your crush wouldn’t even want to get to know you… felt so bad, and kind of unfair. But then again, if she had had someone after her who wouldn’t give up even when she said no… Even though she still didn’t know this Saika well, she had gotten her first impression, and to be honest, it wasn’t a good one. So if someone like that were after her, she wasn’t sure if she would try out a date with them. And worse, what if they still kept it up even after the date? Also, there were so many other ways to get to know one another, no dates necessary.
She still felt bad about the whole thing, but Shinichi probably had a point.
But pretending to be his girlfriend… Even though the idea felt nice, and sent thrills into her at the slightest thought, she still wasn’t sure if she’d call it a good idea. First of all, they would need to do it in front of everyone, not just Saika. Unless they kept it somehow secret? But then there would be no point at all. And on top of that, even though it would be just so much horseplay for Shinichi, for her… She liked him, as much more than just a friend. And part of her was a little afraid there’d be hurt in store for her.
But at the same time, this Saika bothered Shinichi. And if this was the surest way to make her leave him alone…
“Okay”, she said slowly. “I’m not sure if this will really solve anything, but if it helps you…” She hesitated before saying the rest. “But how about our classmates? When they find out…”
“I don’t care”, Shinichi said and turned relieved eyes to her. “After she leaves me alone, we can always tell everyone that we… well…” he looked away. “Well, that we broke up.” Again, Ran felt something tightening in her chest. “Or we can tell them the truth.”
“Wouldn’t she go back after you, then?” Ran said. Now, there was an unwanted thought…
“She’ll be looking at someone else by then”, Shinichi answered, and came closer to her. “But still… thanks Ran. I owe you.”
Ran smiled. “I know”, she answered. “What would you do without me?”
He smiled back.
As always, Teitan High was an institution where gossip and news spread fast. Too fast, if you asked Ran, but then again, maybe it was her fault. On the next day, almost as soon as they got to their classroom, their friends were congratulating them, claiming that it was about time, and teasing up a storm. It had surprised both of them, but as soon as Ran saw Sonoko behind the crowd and that “innocent” look on her face she knew… Well, in the end, she could only blame herself, because she had told Sonoko. Sonoko was their friend, and she deserved some kind of explanation if they walked hand in hand in school or behaved somehow differently than before… or so Ran had thought at the time.
When Ran later caught Sonoko and scolded her for spreading the lie, what she got was a mischievous smile and an explanation that she should be happy because the more people heard about the news, the more believable it would be. “Don’t you want Saika to leave your husband alone?”
It left Ran nervous, even though she couldn’t quite tell why. The next few days saw her on-edge even though their classmates stopped teasing them, and she and Shinichi acted almost exactly like before. They just held hands when they came and left the school, but other than that, they didn’t do much. Maybe sometimes when they were outside of the classroom, hanging with other students, she could feel Shinichi touching her back, but that was it.
Sonoko, on the other hand, thought that maybe she had nerves over Saika, and maybe she was right. But when Ran thought about it, she couldn’t tell if there was any logic to that. In the end, this was a thing between Shinichi and Saika, so she would probably talk to him instead of Ran, and since Shinichi hadn’t mentioned anything about Saika confronting him, that probably meant that she had heard and given up on him. At least, Ran hoped so.
So she tried to relax. There would be nothing to be nervous about. Everything was like before - except with a little more hand-holding.
But just as she got herself to relax and continue her school life like before, Saika came to her. Ran had kind of hoped that Saika would turn around once she saw Ran with her other friends, but it hadn’t stopped her. She had just come to them, smiled very sweetly and innocently, and asked if she could talk with Ran in private.
It had made Ran’s heart sink. She didn’t know what to expect. Did Saika want to announce that she had given up on Shinichi, or did she have something worse in mind? But in a way, this would be her best chance: This girl had been harassing Shinichi nonstop, even though he had told her many times that he wasn’t interested. Maybe Ran could end this all, tell her to leave Shinichi alone, and make her understand that what she had been doing wasn’t okay.
So Ran followed her into the school courtyard, trying to steel her nerves and be ready for anything. And as soon as they made sure nobody else was around, Saika turned to look at Ran with a certain kind of smile.
“You lied to me.”
Ran frowned. “No, I didn’t”, she answered. It wasn’t her fault that she hadn’t been asked the right questions, was it? “Back then, we weren’t together, and you didn’t ask how I felt about him.”
“Hmmm”, Saika hummed and crossed her arms.
“And you”, Ran started. Her heart was pinballing in her chest too fast, too loud, but she decided to grit her teeth and say it. “Don’t ever bother Shinichi again.” She was surprised at how much steel was in those words when they came out. Maybe she was a little too harsh, but there was plenty of evidence of Saika’s stubbornness. Maybe the best option was being harsh and determined. “He’s told you thousands of times that he isn’t interested in you, so even though you like him, you should respect his words and let him be.”
A smile came back to Saika’s lips when she looked at Ran. “Oh”, she started. “Does that mean you two aren’t really together?”
“What?!” Ran blurted before she could stop herself. God, had she ruined this already? What had she said to give it away? She hadn’t said anything weird! At least, she thought so…
“So… you two are faking…”
“We’re… not!”
“You hesitated”, she smiled. “And why didn’t you threaten me to keep away from your boyfriend, instead of telling me he told you he isn’t interested?”
Ran frowned. “I don’t see any difference”, she answered honestly. “I care about him, and…”
“Care?”
Ran hesitated. “Love”, she corrected herself, pushing past the embarrassment of saying it out loud. But for Shinichi… “Because I… love… him and, if he’s uncomfortable about something, then I should do everything to make him feel better again.”
“But it doesn’t bother you that I love him too?”
Ran hesitated. “Of course it does”, she answered.
Saika raised her eyebrows. “Does it really?”
“Of course!”
“Then why?”
Ran felt more nervous. “Why what?”
“Why don’t you say so?” she asked and tilted her head.
Ran stared at the other girl. She couldn’t understand where Saika was going with this. Or maybe she was just trying to tease out an answer that would confirm her accusations?
“I don’t understand”, Ran said finally, slowly. “I did .”
“Yeah, after I asked about it.”
Ran shook her head. She wasn’t getting anywhere. “And I said it bothered me”, she insisted. “I don’t know what else…”
“Because any real girlfriend would have started off telling their rival to leave their boyfriend alone because it bothers them”, Saika interrupted.
Ran shut her mouth. Really?
“But you didn’t”, Saika said and smiled. “So to me, it looks like…”
“Ran!”
Ran couldn’t decide if she was relieved or terrified to hear that ever-familiar voice calling her name. Part of her was happy, because if he was here, maybe they could save this situation after all, but then again, if she had already ruined everything…
She turned and saw how Shinichi slowly, carefully approached, looking at her with his face a silent question: What’s going on? Ran just looked at him and felt his hand on her lower back. Somehow it felt soothing.
“Oh, hi, Shinichi-chan…”
Ran turned back at Saika. Shinichi-chan? How… dare she?! Now her muscles were twitching for action, but…
“Hakurei-san”, Shinichi greeted, formal and dry. Thank God, his opinion of Saika still hadn’t changed. “What do you want from Ran?”
Saika smiled sweetly and Ran felt a desperate pressure in her chest. She could see this going nowhere good. Heck, if she…
Ran turned to Shinichi. “It’s nothing”, she said quickly. “We just talked…”
“I think this girl follows you only out of pity.”
What?!
Ran turned to look at Saika, who answered her stare with a downright poisonous smile.
“Wh- what?” Ran stammered. That was the last thing she’d expected!! “That… That’s not it!”
“Then why?”
“Leave her alone”, Shinichi interrupted. “She doesn’t have to let you judge her feelings, so don’t bother yourself with those questions.”
“But don’t you care that she doesn’t love you?” Saika asked, looking almost sad when she turned her eyes back to Shinichi. “Because I care, and…”
“And how do you know how she feels or not?” Shinichi cut her off again. He really had gotten enough of this.
“Because she said so”, Saika answered.
“I didn’t!” Ran denied. “I told you that I… I…” Love him. That is what she meant to say, but knowing that Shinichi was there, beside her, listening…
“You didn’t?” she repeated and turned back to Ran. “Then that blustering earlier was..?”
“I told you to leave him alone .”
“Because?”
“Because you keep harassing him and don’t respect what he wants even though he told you straight-out”, Ran answered.
“And?”
Ran just stared at her. What more answer did she want?
“So it doesn’t bother you? At all? That I love him?” Saika asked again.
Ran just stared at those crystal blue eyes. She didn’t look away, didn’t dare give Saika the slightest hint that she had given up the fight, didn’t dare look at Shinichi now.
She couldn’t answer that question. She knew she should. She had done it just a minute ago, but there was a world of difference doing it in front of Shinichi. Of course, since this was all playacting, she could always excuse it later as something she had to say, but at the same time… She didn’t want to excuse it. Except, if she didn’t, it… She was scared that it would ruin everything between them, and she couldn’t let go of him. Not now.
Not ever.
“So you’re nothing more than a fake…”
“Don’t you dare end that sentence”, Shinichi said - snapped - and before Ran was prepared for it, she felt his hand on her waist, pulling her a little closer to him. She felt warm and almost relaxed, and yet… “Put Ran down, even a little bit, and I won’t have anything to say to you ever again.”
“So it doesn’t bother you that she sees someone else after you and still won’t fight for you?” Saika asked.
“Why should it?” Shinichi asked sharply. “She does that because she trusts me.”
“But it also shows that she isn’t jealous at all”, Saika explained. “And… and that means that she doesn’t love you. Not enough.”
“Or maybe it shows that there is no reason to be jealous”, Shinichi said.
“But anyone who loves anyone has to be a little bit jealous about it”, Saika insisted. “I know I am right now, and… I can’t stand to see someone taking you so… for granted! She can’t even bother pretending to be jealous…”
“She doesn’t have to pretend”, Shinichi answered coldly, and Ran felt how his arm moved away around her before his hand took hers. She felt her cheeks warm, but she still glanced down at their joined hands before he moved. “Let’s go, Ran, I’ve had enough”, he said and turned, Ran trying to follow along.
“So she really was your crush?”
Crush?
Shinichi stopped, making Ran bump against him.
“Don’t you understand? It hurts me to see how much you care about a girl who doesn’t even…”
“She does”, Shinichi snapped and turned to look at Saika again, letting go of Ran’s hand. But… When she looked at him now… She saw his eyes burning.
Ran could barely believe it, but those words had hurt him. And to be honest, they’d hurt her too, because the very thought that she didn’t care about him…. She did. Always had, always would. But it felt even worse to see him hurt and angry. To see how that girl got under his skin. Shinichi rarely ever lost his temper, but when he did…
He wasn’t faking that. She knew it.
“Shinichi”, she said softly and grabbed his hand. He turned back to her, and she smiled at him, hoping it would calm him even a little bit. “She’s not worth this. Let’s just leave, and…”
“Oh yes, run away and keep pretending to be together”, Saika cut in, forcing both of them to look back. She smiled. “This can’t last forever, and I can wait…”
Ran felt how his grip tightened on her hand. She heard how Shinichi inhaled, and when she looked at him, his eyes were closed like a man at the absolute end of his patience.
“What do you want from me?” Shinichi asked eventually and opened his eyes, looking at Saika. “What do I have to do to make you leave me alone?”
“I want your love”, Saika answered simply, making Ran's heart sink a little.
Slowly, Shinichi shook his head. “You can’t have it.”
“Why?”
“Because it belongs to her.”
Ran blushed, eyes darting at him. She knew that they’d begun this as an act, but at the same time… She didn’t dare think too hard about why, but somehow she felt like he meant it…
For crying out loud, this was not the time!
“Then prove it”, Saika said calmly. “If you really love her, then kiss her.”
Ran felt her heart rocket in her chest. What?! Kiss him?! Well, it wasn’t the worst idea she’d heard, but…
“ I don’t have to prove anything to you, either”, Shinichi answered simply. “All you have to know is that I like her, and I’m not interested in you.”
Saika shrugged. “But the problem is, I like you, and I think we would be a perfect match”, she answered. “You are smart and brave, plenty strong… And I believe you need a smart and brave girl beside you, not some…”
“And Ran is smart and strong and brave”, Shinichi said, eyes narrowing. “So don’t bother yourself about it anymore.”
“So why don’t you prove it and give her a kiss?” Saika asked.
“Because some people don’t like performing for the amusement of a stranger ”, Shinichi answered.
“Or maybe you’re afraid that she doesn’t feel the same,” Saika said slowly, a smile showing more and more teeth. “And never did. Maybe you’re afraid that a kiss would destroy what little there is between you.”
There was a long, deadly silence between them, and the grip on her hand tightened even more. Carefully Ran looked at Shinichi and saw how tense he was. Had Saika really cornered him?
She thought, and the more she thought, the more she felt like this wasn’t pretending anymore. She knew him, probably better than anyone else, and she believed - wanted to believe - that if Saika’s words hadn’t hit something solid, he would have kept his cool and left without a flinch.
But… Did he really have a crush on her?
Well, it didn’t matter. She needed to get him away from this situation, as soon as possible, whatever the cost.
She knew, then, she was ready to do anything for him.
“Shinichi?”
He turned to look at her. Without another conscious thought - because thinking, now, just meant more openings to change her mind - she rose on her tiptoes and smashed her lips against his. Just a peck, she told herself. Enough to take care of Saika, but fast enough that it wouldn’t be too embarrassing after the act.
And the second she felt his lips, she felt a riot exploding in her, a collision of nervousness and excitement at the same time.
Excited to feel those lips against hers, those lips that she had noticed so many times before, and wondered how they would feel, how they would taste… But nervous about the thought of where this would take them. Even the idea that he would look at her differently after this…
But then he moved his lips against hers, like a careful asking of permission, and it made something twitch in her stomach. She gave the permission, and it turned into a true kiss… His grip on her hand loosened a little. Like he was relieved, freed of everything that had made him tense a moment ago. And she pressed herself a little closer without really realizing it. Somehow it felt like her head was coming empty and all she was concentrating on was his lips and their movements, and…
And he moved away a little, broke that kiss. She felt disappointed, and yet, when she opened her eyes, she met blue ones, and she could read a silent question in them. And she smiled as an answer, even though she still was afraid to know what exactly he was thinking. Maybe it would break her heart, but…
“Are you satisfied?” Ran asked and turned to look at Saika, because it was too much to look at him any longer. Saika wasn’t smiling anymore, and that alone was enough for Ran.
“As much as I can be”, she answered directly and glanced at Shinichi. “I really did hope that you would have admitted to this being an act.”
“Well, it’s not. You got what you wanted”, Shinichi said. “Please, let us be.”
Ran watched how she stared at him for a moment longer before letting out a sigh. Then she bowed. “Sorry for bothering you”, she said and straightened herself. Then she turned to Ran and bowed again. “And sorry for doubting you.”
Then she straightened and walked past them, tall and proud. Ran turned to look after her, feeling relieved that this mess was finally over, and…
Saika stopped and turned back, smiling once more. “But if you should ever change your mind, I’m going to be first in line…”
Shinichi let out a groan and looked away. Ran smiled a tiny smile herself. Well, nobody could put down Saika’s sheer spirit. Now, if only she could understand it wasn’t okay to harass others even after they said that they weren’t interested…
Then she realized that it was only her and Shinichi left in the courtyard, and… She felt his hand still on her, and his words flew back to her mind. She remembered the kiss, and she started to feel butterflies all over again.
“Well, I think we should go back…” she started, letting go of Shinichi’s hand and starting to walk back toward the school building. But then she felt how he grabbed her wrist and made her turn around, back to him.
“I think we need to talk.”