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It isn’t often she let people come close to her. Often, she would find herself flinching, not really on purpose, but rather by instinct. It was something about being so close to another, where the contact left little room to breathe. She always found hugs quite suffocating, handholding bothersome, and shoulder pats unnecessary. It was difficult to even contemplate how she allowed this to happen in the first place. -----
Norma ended up training with Zagan one afternoon. Zagan had been teaching her some sword techniques in preparation for the upcoming confrontation with the angels. Norma, in all honesty, had mixed emotions about the whole ordeal, specially where her feelings fell for Zagan.
Often, she did find the vampire enduring. They had had a rough start getting to know one another, but things had been going well the past few weeks. At times, Norma found Zagan to be caring and way nicer than her appearance let’s on.
“One more time.”
“Are you sure,” Norma, pausing to take a breath, huffed out. “Can we, you know, take a break?”
The vampire rolled her eyes. “Fine, but your footwork still needs a lot more improvement.”
“Thank you,” Norma sighed before throwing herself down on a staircase nearby.
It had been like this almost every training. Zagan would run her to a breakpoint, drilling technique after technique into her tiny body. Somedays, it would hurt to even lift her arms slightly.
Despite the pain, Zagan seemed to be a good coach. She took the time to explain and demonstrate, before throwing Norma into a fight. Even when Norma messed up or made a mistake or even fell, the vampire never yelled. Occasionally made fun of her, but in a strangely… caring way?
No, maybe not caring but rather…playful? In all actuality, she really didn’t know Zagan’s deal. One minute she’s letting her friends eat you, and the next she’s giving you her number. It was all very confusing.
“I guess, you’re doing well so far,” Zagan briefly began before sitting next to the young human. “But you’re still forgetting to level yourself before attacking.”
“Yeah, I sorta of figured. It’s just… I don’t know, difficult to coordinate myself to do what I want.”
“That’s probably a human thing,” she smirked ever so slightly. “Or maybe cause of how short you are.”
“Ha ha ha, very funny.”
“No, seriously, you’re doing surprisingly well, and I’m not just saying that as your coach,” the vampire said while winking. “You’ve picked up sword-fighting surprisingly quick, which is pretty amazing, even for a human.”
Norma felt her cheeks slightly blushed. This was the problem. Zagan would dish on her than hit her with a genuine complement. It was like a scale constantly tipping from side to the other, never settling upon a balanced center.
Don’t get her wrong, she was starting to enjoy Zagan’s presence, and being around her constantly. However, it still raised a fearful nervousness that the vampire might have been tricking her all along, but each new practice has proven against it. Norma just couldn’t figure it why she enjoyed being around her, even when she still had all these nerves when they found themselves too close to one another. Did she think Zagan was going to hurt her, even though the vampire has proven against such nature?
Or maybe… it was something else… like a crush?
Nope! Definitely not a crush. Just a few weeks she found the vampire impulsive and sort of annoying. She would have never imagined allowing her to teach her how to fight. Yet, here she was doing just that. But wasn’t it too soon to have a crush after everything that happened with Badyah? There’s no way she moved on so fast…right?
“Hey, you okay? You sorta spaced out for a sec.”
“I’m sorry,” Norma shook her head from her wondering thoughts. “What were we talking about?”
“Um, don’t listen to me I guess,” Zagan grunted under her breath with a frown, before softening her expression once more. “Are you sure you’re, I don’t know, not stressed, about everything. I don’t want to push you too hard, or whatever.”
Norma watched closely as Zagan avoided eye contact with a small pout forming on her face. Was she… worried about her?
Norma really wanted to say she was fine, just tired from training, but it wouldn’t exactly be the whole truth. Since everything with the angels and Pugsley…she hadn’t been sleeping too well. Not to mention, she’s been researching and planning so much in her free time, she hasn’t really found a moment to relax.
But who needs time to decompress, when she needed to get revenge on backstabbing angels who ruin everyone’s lives and create unfair judgements of freedom?
Anyway, she couldn’t exactly tell Zagan all that. She didn’t want to admit to the vampire how weak she’s felt through all this. That’s why she’s been working so hard and trying her best. She wants to be able to hold her own in a fight, without something always having to save her. Or, have someone sacrificing themselves…
What could she tell Zagan though? She found it quite hard to lie and even harder to lie to Zagan of all demons.
“No, you’re not pushing me too much. I’m just…exhausted at this point.”
“What, why? I’ve been only helping you with the basic this far. It shouldn’t be too much…yet.”
Once again, Zagan’s tight knitted eyebrows lessened, as her expression softened. She slowly reached her hand out to Norma’s shoulder, resting it there for a few seconds before Norma flinched and Zagan took it back quickly.
Her expression seemed briefly conflicted before she shook away the absent emotion.
“We can dial it back…I don’t mind.”
Norma just does not get Zagan. Somehow, the vampire keeps surprising her by being so considerate and… mindful. Ughh, why couldn’t everything be less complicated?
“No, no, we don’t have too. It’s not the training…” Norma sighed. Might as well be honest. “I haven’t been… sleeping so well the past few weeks. I keep having nightmares about Pugsley and Fingers and all the angels. They just…keep reminding me of everything I lost because I wasn’t strong enough to do anything about it.”
The more she thought it about, it seemed she shouldn’t be as hurt from the whole ordeal. If anyone deserves to be grieving, it belonged to Barney alone, but just thinking about it cut deep. While she did have her mom and sister, Pugsley and Barney had also become like her family. And now, there was one less member.
Honestly, she really shouldn’t be crying, specially not in front of Zagan. The vampire is probably just going to think she soft and weak. Easy to manipulate and gain her trust without much effort.
Exactly what Pauline did all those months ago.
Hiding her face in her hands, Norma imagined herself anywhere else. Here she was, supposed to be training, only to be breaking down in front of Zagan.
Zagan. The demon she just doesn’t get at all.
What feels like eternity, Norma felt an arm go around her shoulder before pulling her close. Usually, sudden contact made her want to pull away suddenly, but this one felt different. Almost like she wanted to be held longer.
Norma didn’t dare look up. She feared she might accidentally make eye contact with Zagan, forceable having to stare into her wicked-yellow eyes. If that were the case, Norma didn’t think she could keep her cool much longer. Despite it all, she continued to let the vampire hold her gently in her cool grip.
Eventually, Norma got tired of hunching over and shifted to lay her head against the vampire’s lap, facing away from the teen. Sniffling from finishing her last tearful cry, Norma wiped her eyes, still unable to utter a word in the deafening silence. Zagan, in the gentlest way, brushed her hand through Norma’s hair.
She should really sit up and get back to training, but she found she couldn’t. It felt so comforting in Zagan’s presence, that she didn’t want to leave just yet. It was like an eye of the storm, where if she stayed in this bubble, the outside world couldn’t catch her anymore. It was a breath of peaceful, fresh air, distracting her from all the pain building within.
“Is this ok,” Zagan questioned while slowly stroking her hair.
Was it ok? Typically, Norma should find this contact uncomfortable and unbearable, but she…didn’t. Well, she did, but not in a horrible way. More like an unnerving and dazed occurrence. Much like when Badyah would do something thoughtful, and she would feel her cheeks heating up and her heart beating quicker a-and her thoughts racing faster…
Norma sat up.
“Sorry! Sorrry, it was ok…I-I just panicked.”
It wasn’t exactly a lie, but not the entire truth either. Her face definitely felt warmer, as she tried to avoid eye contact once more.
If this were a crush, which it is possible, Norma is in big trouble.
Zagan briefly smiled and stood up, offering Norma her hand.
“Shall we get back to it,” she said in a lively tone. “Let’s go just a little longer?”
Norma didn’t take her hand, opting to stand up herself, but did flash her a brief smile and nodded her head.
It had been ok…well when Zagan was making sure she was fine. Surprisingly, the vampire hadn’t judged her or cut her down for feeling “human emotions”, only being there for her in her vulnerable state. She seemed to care…or at least it seemed that way on the surface. It all very confusing still.
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A lot has happened, and a lot more has yet to come. Norma doesn’t know where the future is headed and doesn’t have everything figured out quite yet, but something seemed to be coming into a clearer perspective.
The more time she spends with Zagan, the more they seemed to grow closer. Everything isn’t smooth sailing, but she did enjoy the vampire’s presence more than she would have months ago.
In actuality, Norma may not understand the vampire completely and maybe she never will, but did come to realize one thing:
She indeed had a crush on Zagan.