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It had been late in the morning when Kaoru was too tired to go to the campus today. He was too exhausted last night after those rigorous activities they had done for PE. He sighed.
He could have done it without getting too tired, only if their professor was considerate enough. Okay, he most likely locked himself in his studio hours before that making him already not rested enough before coming to campus yesterday.
What could he have done? The reason he came to that university was its dance organization, and they would be having auditions for its new members. For his three years in this school, he heard they were meticulous in choosing members. Well, that’s why they’re famous. Only the best could enter.
The downside was, it was so competitive and for the first time in his life, he felt uncalculated. The audition would be on Friday, it’s already Tuesday and he could not choose a proper choreography for his song choice.
Was it his song choice? Should he change it?
Once again, he sighed as he stood up from his bed. Stretching a little, he removed the first two buttons of his gold pajamas to breathe.
He was about to go straight to the bathroom when he heard his phone ringing. It was Adam. “What?” he answered.
“Kaoru!” he laughed. “You’re not here. Did sensei tire you?”
He rolled his eyes. This time, he was making tea for himself, turning the phone on speaker mode. “None of your business.”
Once again, Adam laughed. “By the way, have you thought of something already?”
“Not yet. If I can’t think until later, I don’t think I’ll join,” he said, truthfully.
He might have wanted to join that organization, but he’d been in a slump right now. Maybe it was not for him yet. He could try to join next year, anyway, as his last year before finally graduating.
“What? No, you can’t not join. I’m joining!”
“Don’t care. Bye, I’m thinking.”
When he dropped the call, he was finished preparing his ‘morning’ tea. He went back to his room, opening its huge window for the natural air to go inside as he picked up the notebook he kept drawing on since last month.
The notebook was composed of concepts he wanted to try, and concepts he wanted to avoid. He’d also been drawing formation for himself and the supposed positions for the whomever group he wanted to give it to.
Clowns. Parties. Traditional. Sensual.
He grunted.
Kaoru put the bottom of his pen near his lips. He was looking straight outside his apartment, trying to compose anything under the sun.
“Kaoru, I think a swirl’s better here. Can I turn you around?”
Within the same position when he was thinking, Kaoru frowned. “I think so too—wait, Kojiro, play the music.”
“Yes, master,” he joked.
When the beat entered his system, he started nodding his head, imagining himself being twirled by Kojiro. His brow raised. “Yeah, let’s go with that.”
As both of them think for their next moves, they kept nodding along to the sound that surrounded the studio that Kaoru’s parents owned. “Kojiro, how do you think of choreography?”
Kojiro glanced at him for a second before turning his head to the notebook full of circles. “I don’t think it’s anything special. I just observe anything around me and think whether to make it cursive or stiff.”
“Huh…” Once again, he got lost in his thoughts.
When Kojiro stood up, his eyes followed his movements. He was not doing anything special, so how could he make something out of them—
A loud grunt interrupted Kaoru’s thoughts when he saw Kojiro sitting forward. This time, a loud laugh came from him when he realized what happened. “Wait.” His eyes widened. “That’s it!”
“Wow. You’re having your own eureka moment while I almost died.”
Kaoru rolled his eyes, moving his swivel chair even further. “You’re so dramatic. And you almost died by your stupidity, don’t blame it on me.”
“Well, now at least you got yourself a choreography!”
Kaoru blinked his eyes, pushing the thought away. Once again, he’s on his window, sipping on his tea.
He blinked. Again.
He knew what to do.
When Friday came, Kaoru was calm enough to go straight to the dance studio of the school. He could see different students wearing their outfits for later, and he could already quite foresee their performance.
Today, he was so sure of what he was about to do. Not really different from what he was used to, however, he made sure it was not too similar from the past. If he wanted to be part of this dance organization, he knew he should be prepared for different adjustments he should make in accordance to his style.
He sighed as he looked around. As he expected, the number of students was really massive. Most of them most likely want to watch the dancers, rather than audition themselves, because why not? Free entertainment. Cranking his neck, he could see the glassdoor entrance of the studio. His mouth parter when he realized the students he saw were really the audiences because most of them are just standing outside the studio itself, which was not really that hard to see because he thought the studio was intendedly made for students to watch easily because of its transparent glass materials. The door was glass, the windows, especially the walls.
He entered the room as silent as he could, but he could still see other auditionees looking at his way before they proceed to their preparations. Once again, he looked around and saw the chairs on the back part of the studio, specifically for auditionees he certainly could not count, and five chairs just in front of the mirror.
The five seats were still empty, and he was expecting those to be filled at exactly 11 o’ clock in the morning.
“Kaoru! Here!”
He looked where the voice was coming from, only to see Adam sitting in the second row of the chairs. Unlike most chairs, the seat beside him was empty.
“Where’s Tadashi?” he greeted, sitting right away.
He was answered with a shrug.
He gave Adam’s outfit a quick glance before facing forward. He was wearing a white simple long-sleeved sweater which he rolled to his elbows, and a black jeans ripped on the knees. He raised a brow. “Not doing something extra today?”
Adam rolled his eyes. “You bet,” he retorted.
A hearty chuckle escaped his lips. He looked at the silver wrist watch on his left arm, it’s already 10:57 AM, only one seat in front to be filled and it’s starting. He looked beside him. “What’s your song?”
Adam simply winked at him.
He was about to say something again, when another series of lights blinded him. He blinked for a moment as he adjusted his glasses.
It’s starting.
Kaoru had no time to look around anymore when his eyes were caught by the last person to sit in front. His jaw almost fell on the floor, only if he did not stop himself when their eyes met.
“You didn’t tell me he’ll judge!” he whispered loudly, if that even made sense.
“What?” Adam laughed, getting the attention of the people near them but he didn’t mind it. “He told me not to tell you.”
He grunted in response. “Tadashi seemed calm, but he’s a real menace like you. What did you even do to him?”
“Oh, you really wanna know?”
“No. I don’t.”
And that was the last thing he said before music enveloped his ears. There was no certain theme to be followed as per instructions, it only said dance as freely as you could be.
The first people to dance was a pair of two girls, they looked younger than him, probably freshmen, dancing to Bruno Mars’ song. He was silently watching their moves, noting the strengths the two dancers obviously did not realize. He could see the strong leg movement of the short-hair woman, but it was not utilized as their dance progress, while the other obviously had a strong torso but also was not greatly utilized. They seem new, but he could see the potential.
It did not really matter if they audition as pairs or trios because it was clearly stated they would be judged individually. However, in his opinion, he thought it would be harder to maintain good individual moves because as you think of your own strengths, you also have to think of maintaining the chemistry you have with your partner or members.
“I’m fifth. How about you?” Adam whispered, eyes remaining on the third person.
He did the same. “I’m seventh.”
And they both waited for their turn.
“Number 5… Shindo-san?”
And there it was.
The playful Adam earlier lost his own expression as he stood in the center. He could see his face on the mirror clearly because of his brushed-up hair, and when the first word of Selena Gomez’s started, his eyes closed, parting his lips as he softened his expression. He looked at Tadashi, and he wanted to laugh when he saw him looking at Adam with an intense gaze as if it was his first time watching him dance.
Another beat drop, and this time, Adam was using his hands in some detailed but fast manners. Kaoru knew everyone in the room seemed to be pulled by the man at that moment, catching all of them in his hands, imprisoning them in this cage only to watch him dance. This was where Adam had always been strong. In enticing people. In pulling people with his moves and he knew when to use that.
As he was nearing the ending of the song, Adam stood for a second before finally releasing his clenching hands, popping his chest in some manner and pushing those hands as another release. Kaoru felt it. It was as if Adam knew that everyone of them was his prisoner in his hands and he calculated when they would be released.
When Adam was finished dancing, everyone was clapping their hands. He had his familiar smirk on his face as he walked towards their seat.
“Wolves, huh?” he said when Adam finally sat.
Adam wiped his sweat before he answered. “Was it good?”
He rolled his eyes, and Adam laughed. Of course, he himself knew it was good.
“Maybe, you should ask Tadashi later,” he answered, making Adam laugh even further.
“Stop laughing. She’s getting ready.”
With that, Adam finally stopped. Both of them diverted their attention to the center until silence ensued in anticipation. She was wearing a pastel blue cropped tank top, and white baggy jeans. Her hazel hair was not tied in any way, and her bangs were not moving also.
“Her presence is quite heavy.” It was Adam, and Kaoru had to agree. Her presence was heavy as if she could eat every single one in this room, especially her eyes.
The single moment she rolled her hips to her right, “oohs!” filled the studio, and he understood why. It was as fluid as a falling feather from a bird stuck in a tree. And when she popped, everyone lost it. What remarkable to her performance was her presence, it was consistent all throughout, and it wasn’t falling even though the dance seemed to be in the middle.
“Her rolls are great.”
He nodded. He saw that. Just like Adam, the woman knew her strength so well, and she knew when to use it to get reactions. She’s not failing in any tries yet.
“Oh,” he reacted when the last beat dropped and she popped her shoulders. She still had so much in her sleeves. “She set the standard too high,” he mumbled.
“Really, Cherry?”
“Number 7… Sakurayashiki-san.”
Kaoru counted six seconds in his mind, and in those six seconds, he already rolled the sleeves of his pink button down shirt on top of nothing which made the top of his chest visible. Other than that, he was wearing a black jeans that was still comfortable for him and accentuated his arms with a silver watch and neck with a thin necklace with a bird as a pendant.
Everyone was silent.
First, second, third beat. He stepped three times backwards, closing his eyes in the process. And when the first word had been sung, his hands were already doing their own thing. Instead of softening his expression the same way as Adam’s, he closed his mouth and let his eyes do its own thing. Another beat and he let out a more pained expression, swallowing the lyrics directly in his heart.
He walked his feet as his hands touched his own chest. He walked. Twice. Thrice. And turned around as if he was stumbling himself, and as he did those, he made sure he looked as graceful as he was. As he had always been.
Everyone gasped when he fell, and everyone sighed when he stood up once again. He looked at the judges eyes with the same pained expression he’d been maintaining, even more painful this time. His eyes moistened, but not letting any tears fall. He kicked his way to the front, but stumbled once again backwards. He lied down. Fast. And reached for something to hold onto, but he could not touch anything. And there, lying on the ground, facing the judges, a lone tear fell.
Everyone was silent. And that’s what he was aiming for.
Kaoru stood up quietly, wiping the wet part of his cheeks using the back of his hand. As he walked towards his seat, that’s just where the applause began.
“That was… emotional,” Adam stated, handing him his handkerchief.
Kaoru shrugged. “It should be.”
“Are you okay?”
Before he could frown, Adam gave him his phone. There, he saw Tadashi’s message to ask him if he was, so he looked up and found out Tadashi was already looking at their way so he smiled curtly. “I am,” he said. Probably more to himself.
“Now, let me ask you. Is it for him?”
This time, he frowned. “Never in my life have I danced for him.”
Now, because of Adam, he could not follow the next few performers. His mind wandered outside his reach, never intending to meet the man beside him in any way. He’s fine, like he said. It had been what? three years? He’s done with it.
Kaoru tried his hardest to watch the others, and fortunately, he was successful. Instead of thinking about Adam who blabbed nonsense, he studied the dancers and the possible accepted members. He hoped they’d release them right away.
“What if he comes back, Kaoru?” The devil himself whispered.
His jaw clenched, but his eyes remained in front. “I don’t care. It has nothing to do with me.”
“Do you regret it?”
“What?”
“Confessing.”
And that simple word crushed him again.
“Kojiro, I… like you.”
Kaoru brushed his head backwards as he said those words. Finally. He’d been keeping it since they were little, and now that they were getting old, he realized he wanted to take risk. Nevermind being rejected. He just hoped Kojiro would not despise him for it. He could accept being his friend forever, but not not being by his side.
He saw how Kojiro turned red that night. Holding their skateboard, right after practicing another dance and was about to go home, he did it. In front of the bridge illuminating the city lights on the other side.
“Don’t worry! You don’t have to like me back.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I’m head over heels for you.” Despite his voice literally trembling, he laughed,
However, what he didn’t know was that a smile could hurt this bad. When he said that, Kojiro let out a sigh of relief, and smiled as if he really was happy. “That’s good, Kaoru. Don’t go fall in love with me,” he joked.
Although his heart was literally shattering into pieces. He rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to say it.”
What was clear to Kaoru that night was that Kojiro would never fall, the way he did to him. But at the very least, what he was sure of, was that Kojiro would never leave. They would be friends, and his feelings could suck it up but that’s what all that mattered.
The day after that, Kojiro transferred.
Without saying anything.
Kojiro became a world of however, in a world Kaoru thought of as sure.
When Kaoru snapped back to reality, he answered, “a part of me does, a part of me doesn't.” He smiled. “I’m relieved that before he left, he knew there’s someone out there who was brave enough to risk anything for him, and a part of me was blaming myself he left. Had I not confessed, he wouldn’t have left,” he followed truthfully.
He could see Adam nodding beside him. “Would you do it again?”
He snorted. “Now that I know he’d leave? I wouldn’t.” But deep inside, he was thinking how hard it would have been if he suppressed it. Would it be really better if Kojiro knew nothing?
Kaoru was about to say something when the music started. His mind was wandering too much because of Adam that he was not really watching anything anymore, but his eyes widened when he realized what the music was.
No. It can’t be. Coincidence. Right.
“K—Kaoru…”
He did not give Adam attention, instead he looked at the mirror to see the face at the same time the dancer looked at the mirror… and his eyes landed on Kaoru.
As if Kaoru was back to three years ago, heart beating too fast for his liking for the very same man in front of him. Same beat. Same person. Same ache. He wanted to look away as Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal played, but his eyes stayed on the person whom he was just having contact with earlier.
He knew his eyes were not fooling him.
But why was he here?
He snapped his neck back at Adam. “Do you know about this?”
Immediately, Adam shook his head. “No, Tadashi probably does, but I don’t. I swear.”
And he knew Tadashi probably meant good, that's why he didn’t say anything. A sigh escaped his lips, trying to calm his heart when Kojiro finished his dance. Everyone was clapping, delight was obvious in their faces like they were all honored that Kojiro was dancing in front of them in the first place.
Kaoru spent enough time to understand the bystanders, but then, he realized the time they spent together probably was not enough for Kojiro to stay.
Actually, they were allowed to leave after they audition, it’s their choice whether to watch or not as long as they would be back exactly one o’ clock in the afternoon. Yet, just like everybody, Kaoru chose to stay because he wanted to watch other autionees.
But it vanished when his heart started beating that way again.
Kaoru pushed his glasses, standing up as he clutches his chest. He tried his hardest to look fine as he was before those eyes landed on him, but he could not remain calm knowing Kojiro was in the same room as him.
“Kaoru!” he heard Adam called, but he was determined to get out of that place immediately so he ran.
He found himself inside the school cafe. Everyone seemed busy in their own world, and the ambiance of the cafe immediately soothed him slightly. His heart was still racing fast, but his mind was getting clear each moment, which was what mattered.
Mostly because the students were in the studio, there were still plenty of seats Kaoru could go. Instead of ordering right away, he sat on the chair for two beside the window, and leaned on the chair. He closed his eyes.
“What if he comes back, Kaoru?”
“I don’t care. It has nothing to do with me.”
He knew it was a lie. Well, it most likely has nothing to do with him, but he definitely did care. He does care. Never in those three years did he prepare himself to see the first man he loved. The first man who had ever broken his heart. That… certain menace in his life.
Successfully, Kaoru finally ordered a simple frappuccino for himself. He had no time to think fancily as he tried to calm his heart.
“There you are.”
He looked up, only to roll his eyes when he saw Adam in front of him once again. “What?”
“Well.” He shrugged. “You’re not okay.”
“It seems so,” he answered nonchalantly, sipping on his drink. “Tell Tadashi it will be, though. I just overreacted.”
“You did not.” Adam pulled the chair in front of him, leaving his phone on the table which Kaoru noticed. He was probably conversing with Tadashi about this.
“Tell Tadashi don’t mind me. It’s fine. He should focus there.”
Adam did not say anything. Instead, he sighed. His eyes were reflecting too many emotions for Kaoru to consider so he looked away. He could not do this today.
“Kaoru… what happened three years ago… I know, I—we were there. What you’ve been through these past three years, we saw it in our eyes,” Adam started.
Kaoru remained his eyes outside. He knew that. That’s why Tadashi’s keen on taking care of him because he knew. Too much.
But Kaoru’s better now. He was not the same messy Kaoru that they tried to put back together. “Adam… I’ve been okay.”
Adam leaned closely, eyes not leaving Kaoru.
“I tried my hardest to be okay despite knowing the only person I’ve loved like that couldn’t love me the same way… I tried to be my better self again despite my best friend for my whole life left me without notice.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Until I did it.”
“We know, Kaoru. You were fine, but there’s still hole in your heart that longs for that certain someone.” He sighed. “That was ghostwritten by Tadashi, by the way.”
With that, Kaoru broke a smile, finally looking at his friend who saw what he went through to be okay. To be the same.
“But… here’s my question to you. Are you not happy that the questions you tried to answer yourself will finally be answered now by the person who left them?”
If Kaoru was honest, that loud beat of his heart was the delight that he finally saw Kojiro again. “Probably, Adam. But, I’m afraid I’m still holding onto whatever reason he could not say anything before leaving. I’m afraid I’ll be left to my own demons trying to answer the questions I didn't even make for the second time.” He laughed. He’s not making any sense now, he knew it.
“Is that why you ran?”
He nodded.
“Do you still love him, Kaoru?” Adam asked, careful.
This time, Kaoru laughed. That soft laugh that knew he was in danger. “The moment I said I liked him three years ago, I know I already love him… and I will love only him, Adam.”
Both Kaoru and Adam wasted their time inside that cafe before finally coming back to the studio. The students outside finally lessened, while some auditionee probably went out for lunch. Kaoru looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of Kojiro, but when his eyes landed on the man he was looking for, he was already staring at him.
They were wall away from each other, but Kaoru could not help but still be captivated the way he was enticed by his eyes when he was dancing earlier. However, unlike earlier, he didn’t look away. He looked directly at Kojiro, studying the way his longer hair that he used to call grass when they were young, his eyes that always looked soft to everything but Kaoru. Well, why would he look at him like that when they were always at each other’s throats?
His body became more muscular now than they were in high school. He… did he also have a hard time wherever he went? Did he think of Kaoru like he did in those three years? Did he—
Kaoru snapped his eyes when his phone vibrated from his pocket. He looked at it, and saw it was Tadashi. He looked at his seat and saw his worried expression.
Tadashi:
Kaoru, I’m sorry I really tried to stop—
Before he could finish reading the message, one of the judges clapped her hand to gather their attention. He put his phone in his pocket and listened, not minding Adam poking his arms.
“Have you already had your fill?” she started, her long hair was tied in a high ponytail. When everyone answered her, she smiled even brighter, hands still clasped. “So… as we were evaluating your performances, I and the other judges thought of… something challenging.”
The studio became filled with hushed whispers.
“Shhh!” she laughed. “Are you excited? I sure hope you are! Well, we decided to pair and group you into three according to how well we think your chemistry will be. And take note that these are paired and grouped randomly, so who knows? Maybe you’re in a duo or a trio!”
“Ma’am, when will we perform?”
She grinned. “We will be giving you your partner or group simultaneously, and an extra twenty minutes after that to prepare, then perform!”.”
“What?”
“Too hard!”
“It’s almost like a freestyle!”
“No, no! Don’t worry, you are allowed to search for choreographies on the internet, or you can make your own. Any questions?” She waited. “None? Alright!”
When she sat down, everyone was on edge. They were all staring on their phones as if trying to have a head start, while Kaoru was shifting uncomfortably in his seat because he could still feel Kojiro’s stares.
“What’s happening to you?” Adam finally noticed.
He frowned. “He’s staring!” he hissed.
Adam’s left brow arched, before realizing what he meant. “Oh,” he commented, letting out a boyish grin.
“Stop it.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
Kaoru frowned on his seat as he listened to the numbers being called. Anyone. Anyone but him.
“Number 7, Sakurayashiki-san and Number 13? Nanjo-san?”
Time seemed to stop in Kaoru. Suddenly, he wanted to run again. Who even—
He remembered Tadashi’s message to him, and in a snap, he was already holding his phone reading the message he should have read in advance to escape.
Tadashi:
Kaoru, I’m sorry I really tried to stop the other judges, but they were really keen on seeing you two together. They partnered you with Joe. I’m not supposed to do this, but I still want to give you a heads up. I hope you’ll be prepared.
He did not realize he was holding his breath while reading that. He looked up, and tried to find Joe only to realize he was already walking towards them. His iris dilated, and once again, his breathing hitched at the sight of Kojiro, walking closer.
“He’s coming,” Adam whispered. “And I gotta go. I need to talk to my group.”
“Hey.”
Kaoru’s jaw dropped.
Hey? Hey?
“Hey,” he answered.
He watched as Kojiro pulled Adam’s seat and sat in front of him. Most of the chairs were now forming circles, and some trios were already sitting on the floor.
“What do you want to do, Kaoru?”
His fist clenched. He wanted to run, but with the way Kojiro was acting as if those three years did not happen. He was sitting in the same manner, same… everything that Kaoru could feel how familiar he was to him.
And it still hurted.
He cleared his throat. “Uh… what do you want? Should we do something or get inspiration from the internet?”
He was still looking at his phone, he could not meet his eyes.
“Why?”
Kaoru even focused his attention on the phone. What did he mean ‘why’? Shouldn’t he be the one asking that? “What do you mean?”
Kojiro tilted his head to his right, eyes darting on him. “Why would we get inspiration? You already forgot our dances before?”
With that, Kaoru’s head snapped to him. He tried his hardest to keep his most neutral face. “Oh. I thought it’s you who forgot.”
He watched as Kojiro’s smile faded for a second before he plastered a smirk. He even leaned his arms on the backrest of the chair. “I would never.”
Kaoru snorted. “Just tell me what song you’re pertaining to so I won’t look stupid later,” he retorted.
“The River one.”
That…
Kaoru rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He would not lose to this bastard.
Relaxing, he leaned on his seat to watch the performance of other auditionees. However, it was hard to keep his focus on when Kojiro did not stand from his seat, rather stayed there and watched Kaoru.
“I’m not the one dancing. Focus there, Joe.”
“Joe, huh?”
“Can you stop retorting as if we’re close? You’re annoying.”
Kojiro did not say anything, but he did not move either, causing him to sigh in defeat. He wanted to pluck his eyes out right there.
Why was he even looking at him the way he wished to be looked at before? He was the one who left, and now that he came back, he was acting as if nothing happened. It’s obvious he did not really go home for Kaoru, because if he did, he should explain everything first.
“Pair 7 and 13?”
Here it comes.
Before they walked to the center, Kojiro stood first and offered his hands to Kaoru which he accepted while looking directly in his eyes. Both of them have covered their ears and only listened to the music, and the beats of their heart at the moment. Completely forgetting the three years ago, looking back to the feeling of what it was before the night.
They walked until they were standing side by side closely. Too close. When the first beat dropped, they stared at the judges with ferocious gazes as they kicked the floor. 1, 2, 3.
Kaoru found himself being caged inside Kojiro’s arms, but he was leaning back to still see his face. They stared at each other’s eyes before Kojiro let him go. They circled each other, eyes still locking until Kojiro smirked, pulling him closer. He did not resist when the man pushed him down the floor, and before Kojiro could trap him again, he rolled gracefully along with the beat.
And when Kaoru closed his eyes as they stood side by side to follow the beat, he wanted to cry.
He felt Kojiro’s hands on his waist as he glided his foot on the ground. Another beat dropped when Kojiro’s hands traveled to his chest, too comfortable as if they had done this before. They did. But the audience did not need to know that.
This time, when they moved away to each other to do their own moves, he did not expect to see his partner looking at him, making him subtly look away. He walked towards Kojiro again, his hands traveling on his arms until his hand reached his. As he clasped their hands together, he was looking at Kojiro’s eyes.
And for the last beat, Kojiro whispered, still staring. “I’m sorry.”
Kaoru was too stunned at that, that Kojiro had to guide his hands as if it was part of the choreography, facing the judges this time, and at last, the song was finished.
That’s just when Kaoru heard the screeches of the crowd. His eyes found Adam who was watching them intently, hands crossed over his chest. He averted his gaze to Tadashi who was the only one not clapping in the set of judges, but he was looking worried as ever over Kaoru.
He understood that.
Because he, too, was worried for himself.
When he knew they were not under the attention anymore, he ran once again. Once again, he was Kaoru three years ago whose feelings were too intense for his liking. The Kaoru who was regretting every single thing he had said that night, but also not.
That Kaoru who needed nothing but Kojiro to come back, and he would accept him again without having to say anything.
And that was a… too dangerous gamble.
However, as they danced earlier, he had the sudden feelings of only wanting to get the assurance that he would never leave again and everything would be fine. Fine as it was the night before three years ago.
He… only wanted to move along the beat with him. That’s what had always mattered.
“Kaoru!”
He closed his eyes for a moment, he could feel the wind messing his hair but his thoughts were on the man who muttered his apology. Should that be enough?
“Kojiro… why did you leave?”
Instead of an answer, what he received was what he had always wanted to feel. Kojiro’s embrace had always been the safest place in the world.
“I’m really… really sorry.”
Probably, for now, that’s enough. He would let the beat move along with them this time.