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Deku was the clingiest person Katsuki knew.
This wasn't a surprise, as the kid had been clinging to him since childhood. When Katsuki and Deku were kids, Deku's mom told them about different ways people showed love. He had always known Deku's was touch. Always running after him and giving disgusting childish hugs and kisses.
The behavior had obviously stopped for some years, and Katsuki had just assumed that the kid had finally given up his annoying ass habits and grown up. But he was sorely mistaken.
Deku and his dumbass friends, or the 'dekusquad' as Raccon Eyes and Dunce Face liked to call them, couldn't seem to keep their disgusting hands off each other. Whether it was Icy Hot clinging to Deku's or Four Eye's shirt in crowds like a fucking toddler or Round Cheeks throwing herself into one of their laps. It was like they were all attached at the fucking hip. It was fucking annoying.
This wouldn't be an issue if their little PDA session didn't influence his dumbass fucking friends into wanting their own 'cuddle sessions.' In Dunce's Face words, "Come on, Kacchan! What's a little snuggle between friends?" He had needed a Shitty Hair shield after that remark.
He didn't even like his stupid fucking friends! Okay, he would begrudgingly admit that he did, but only under the pain of death. It's not his fault they don't like how he shows his protected affection for them. They should have figured out he liked them after all the sleepless nights he spent tutoring them and the hours he wasted away slaving over meals to make them. That had to count for something, right? Just because he didn't want a lap full of dumbasses didn't mean he didn't like them, fucking duh.
Shitty Hair was the only one who got him; Kirishima would always shove Dunce Face and Raccoon Eyes back with a laugh, "Give him some space! Not everyone likes to be as touchy as you two!" Then they would get back to whatever dumb fuck thing they were doing before.
Katsuki could admit, under less pain and torture, that Shitty Hair was his close friend. He could hang out with him and not have a drained social battery afterward, which was great cause Kirishima always wanted to hang out.
Which was a relief for Katsuki when he needed the social lubricant, especially with Deku. After their fight and Katsuki's apology, he wanted to make an effort to make amends, but he wasn't sure how to go about it. Enter Shitty Hair; with his puppy dog personality and endless stream of positivity, he was a huge help when Katsuki was awkward and too overwhelmed to know what to do or say.
He wasn't so dependent on him anymore. Deku and Katsuki could now successfully have an enjoyable workout or hang-out session without Kirishima there to fill in the gaps. Their relationship wasn't what it once was, but it was leagues better than it had been. He had even made Deku a few meals, grade-a stuff over the usual shit he prefers to eat.
He still wasn't comfortable with all the touchy-feely bullshit Deku had going on. He and Kirishima were always hugging it out after workouts, and it was fucking disgusting. He would offer Deku and Shitty Hair a fucking high-five, at most.
He still tried to show the people in his life he cared about them, which was why they were in the current situation.
He had been making a meal, for the long ass study session they were about to have. Aizawa had a nasty fucking test coming up, and everyone had been studying for days. Deku was trying to help tutor Dunce Face and Racoon Eyes, and he knew Izuku was starting to lose sleep over it. So he offered to step in, make dinner, and help the lost causes understand primary fucking education.
Everyone was in the common room. Deku sat at a table with Raccoon Eyes, Pink Cheeks, and Dunce Face going over the study materials. Mind Freak was on the couch closest to them, seemingly dozing off. Icy Hot had his feet tucked under Four Eyes on the other couch, while they went over notes together. Kirishima was playing on his phone while sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter while Katsuki cooked.
He could hear vague bits and pieces of the big groups studying, but he was primarily focused on not burning the rice he was making.
He should have known that the lack of sleep, frustration, and general stupidity of his dumb fuck friends would catch up to Izuku at some point, but he didn't expect this.
"Honestly, I love him as a teacher and personally but I think as a hero All Might is kind of overrated," Katsuki heard Dunce Face suddenly declare. "I just think there are cooler heroes from that time."
Katuski sharply looked up, making eye contact with a concerned-looking Kirishima. He used his spatula to point, "Oi, Dunce Face what did you jus-"
"Excuse me?" Deku sputtered out in a weird tone of voice Katuski had never heard before. "While I respect your opinion, I think you're just going to have to look at the facts here…."
Oh fuck no.
Deku suddenly pushed out his chair and rounded on Dunce Face, "I mean, just looking at the sheer statistics alone would show you how much that statement is false. For example, look at the difference in rescue statistics from All Might to Crimson Riot in the years 20XX-20XX and how-"
"Hey! No need to diss Crimson Riot," Kirishima said while kicking his leg out.
"Hey, Deku! Why don't you-" Katsuki tried to start.
Izuku whirled around to face Kirishima. "I wasn't dissing Crimson Riot, Kiri. I was using another great hero as an example, and-" Deku's voice was raising octaves at an alarming rate.
"Ah, Izuku. It's okay. We all know All Might is the best hero ever," Pink Cheeks said in an attempt to calm the frazzled boy. She had gotten up and was resting her hands on Izuku's shoulders, patting them in a shitty attempt to calm him down.
Deku threw his hands in the air, knocking Pink Cheeks back and propelling him forward into a pace behind the couches. "YOU might know that, but apparently, everyone here does not. I want to point out the rescue statistics from the year 20XX, which are, to this day, still a record and have not been close to being topped…."
"Midoriya"
"AND of the year 20XX All Might won the Rescue Hero of the Year Award, and he was the youngest to do so in that category. He's breaking breaking all kinds of records…."
"Midoriya."
"Not to mention to the sheer number of statistics he has while he was injured; I'd like to see another hero do that! Well, I wouldn't like to see another hero be that injured but look at the amount All Might accomplished while he was! No one else could do that…."
"Midoriya!" Mind Freak shouted, having been woken up from his dozing the minute the pacing started.
"WHAT?" Izuku shouted back, eyes and face immediately going blank.
"Come sit on the couch next to me," Mind Freak patted the cushion next to him. Izuku obediently walked over and sat next to the boy, who flicked him on the nose to break his freaky spell. He lifted one of his elbows and patted his leg with the other hand, "lay your head down."
Izuku sighed and twisted around so he could comfortably lay his head in the Mind Freak's lap and prop his knees up. The Mind Freak laid one hand on Izuku's stomach and the other on his Hair and started scratching with both.
"What the fuck is he doing?" Katsuki asked, turning off the appliances he was using.
"No idea," Kirishima answered as he hopped off the kitchen island to grab some plates to serve everyone dinner.
Katsuki rounded out of the kitchen and walked up to the couches, trying to figure out how this would help.
The Mind Freak smirked up at him as he approached, "I do this when my cats get too rowdy at home. You just call them over, hold 'em like a baby, give 'em a few scratches, and..." He raises both of his arms to give Katsuki fucking jazz hands. "It puts them right to sleep."
Well, Katsuki will be damned. Izuku was out like a light, he could even hear him snoring. "Alright, Mind Freak, I'll give you that one. And Dunce Face…"
Kaminari jumped.
"Don't antagonize the person helping you for free!"
"Ah, don't be so harsh! But Denki, maybe think twice about what you say around a sleep-deprived Mido from now on?" Kirishima said as he placed the finished dishes Katuski had made on the table.
"Noted," Dunce Face said as he bowed his head in apology.
"Is dinner ready?" Raccoon Eyes asked excitedly, bobbing her head in Kirishima's direction.
"Yeah! Serve yourself. Shinsou, do you want me to bring you a plate?" Kirishima asked.
"No, that's okay." Mind Freak shook his head, "Iida can make me one, and Todoroki can make one for Midoriya."
"Yes!" Four Eyes exclaimed a little too loudly for Katsuki's liking when someone was sleeping nearby.
"And let's eat around the couches so Mido isn't lonely when we wake up!" Kirishima continued.
"Kirishima, the man with the plan!" Pink Cheeks giggled. She helped Katuski push the coffee tables and couches closer together, making them lighter and quieter with her quirk.
Four Eye's placed a plate in front of Mind Freak, "it's a shame Midoriya is asleep; he hates missing community."
Mind Freak looked down at the boy in his lap, "we should wake him, he won't rant anymore, and we can put him right back to sleep after the meal."
Icy Hot leaned over the back of the couch, putting his cold right hand on Izuku's neck, "Sorry, Midoriya."
Izuku sat straight up, “Gwah!”
Icy Hot smiled at him and placed a plate in his lap, "dinner."
Izuku sighed but still gave him a tired smile. He twisted around and placed his plate on the coffee table.
Katsuki walked around with his plate to sit on the floor with Kirishima. Dunce Face and Raccoon Eyes were digging in and making a mess, to the chagrin of Four Eyes. Katsuki watched as Icy Hot took a seat next to the class president and patted him on the back while eyeing the mess his two fuck head friends were making.
Pink Cheeks giggled and forcefully wedged her way between the Mind Freak and Izuku, who placed his head on her shoulder and took a bite of his rice.
His eyes immediately sparkled, "Wow, Kacchan, you've outdone yourself this time!"
"Chew with your mouth closed, freak!"
"Sorry," Deku said, stuffing his face, "it's jus' sho good!"
Kirishima and Mind Freak had the audacity to chuckle while Pink Cheeks laughed. Katuski gagged at the boy who laughed at his face and shoved another mouthful in.
Katsuki sighed and rolled his eyes while Kirishima nudged his shoulder. "Truly, you have outdone yourself, my man!" He said before taking a bite of his meal.
Katsuki rubbed his shoulder where Kirishima had nudged it, while picking up his utensils to start his meal. He gave a small private smile to himself, that he would deny it if ever confronted. He might not get shitty Izuku's friends need to constantly be attached to each other … but if it was about love, he might be able to get that.