Chapter Text
[…]Screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2AM and I'm cursing your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kind of rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
You know that Kevin is bad news. He practically had it plastered across his body. It was present in every step he took, every sentence he spoke, every time you caught his eye and he looked at you like he could see straight through your flesh and into something much more grotesque. You had noticed it all the way back at your middle school dance, when he told that one classmate of yours– what even was her name? You can’t remember– something so awful that she ran off the dance floor and you didn’t see her at school until two weeks later.
You’d never figured out what Kevin said for sure. But you didn’t have to in order to get the point, to learn the lesson: stay away from Kevin Khatchadourian. Or so you had thought. Because against all better judgment, you had started hanging out with Kevin. At first it was going along with him and that little goon of his, Lenny. From the start, you could tell that Kevin also didn’t think much of the guy. You like to think that you’ve been a bit more subtle in your dislike than Kevin has been, though, so why the two continue to hang out is a mystery to you.
But then you began to hang out with Kevin alone. Ostensibly, him inviting you to hang out one-on-one should mean that he likes you and enjoys your company. The thing was, however, you haven’t been able to tell if he actually does. For one thing, Lenny was an example that for whatever reason, Kevin would hangout with people he didn’t even like. For another, as you learned, Kevin can be incredibly inconsistent. Sometimes when you arrived at his house, he wouldn’t even be home like he said he would be. If he bothered to actually let you know when he was canceling plans rather than simply standing you up, the text or phone call always arrived last minute. Sometimes they even came in when you were already en route to your destination.
So, why had you put up with it till now? The very simple answer, you regretted to admit, was that at some point along the way you had caught feelings.
You aren’t sure exactly when those feelings began developing. But you remember the first time he was talking to you and you felt yourself get lost in those big brown eyes, and once he realized you had zoned out and weren’t listening to what he was saying Kevin had rolled them and turned back to his computer.
And you remember the first time that his inconsiderate behavior had actually caused you to cry in your car. It was two in the morning and you’d made plans to drive out for a late night meet up at Waffle House, only for him to text you that he wasn’t coming. It’s something you’ve never told him about and never plan to. You just sent a “k” back and, once you composed yourself, drove back home and went to bed. You remember one time when he grabbed you by the shoulder to move you out of the way, and even though it was a brief touch, you felt your face heat up.
And all though perhaps you became a little bit of a pushover as a result of your crush, you did have your limits, as Kevin was now finding out. This time when you came over, he was home. You had resolved on your drive over that if he was there he would be getting an earful.
“Kevin, we need to talk,” You say, the moment you shut his bedroom door behind you.
“Do we?” He asks, not bothering to turn his head from his computer to look at you.
“Yes,” You reply, standing behind him. You keep your voice as calm as you can, not wanting to seem too emotional or irrational. “You treat me like shit.”
“Do I?” And that’s when you realize he’s not taking you seriously. You pull out your phone and start tapping on it. When he doesn’t hear your retort, he speaks again. “And is that all?”
“I’m blocking your number.” You say. “I’m tired of your shit, Kevin.”
“Really? You had to drive all the way over here just to block my number?”
It infuriates you that he assumes you’re bluffing, assumes that in a few days you’ll come crawling back. “Yes, because so far, the only thing that’s come of our quote unquote ‘ friendship’ is you using me for your own amusement to see how fast I’ll come running,” You tell him.
“And?” He asks. He sounds bored with this conversation, with you, as he continues working at whatever he’s doing. Playing around with one of his viruses, maybe. “You always have.”
That’s when you snap. You like to think that in most circumstances, you’re a bit more mature. That if it was anyone else, you’d simply walk out of that bedroom, slam the door, and not look back. But he’s gotten under your skin now like he always does. It’s not in the way he’s clearly become accustomed to being under your skin though– the way you’ve grown so tired of, where he keeps baiting you back to him, giving you just enough semblance of a friendship to make you question if you’re overreacting to his negligent behavior.
This time he’s not toying with you from afar over text messages and phone calls. This time Kevin is directly provoking you, and you do not respond kindly to it. You step over to his computer and push his computer monitor off the desk and onto the hardwood floor. The glass breaks.
You’re silent for a moment. There’s not a moment in this where you look like you’ve lost your composure, where your face is contorted with rage or where you’re screaming. It’s like your body acted of its own accord. “Shit,” You grumble, after a minute.
Kevin finally stands up. You step back. “Don’t worry. Mumsy can always buy another one,” He remarks of his dearly detested mother as he takes a step closer to you.
You feel almost like he’s sizing you up, and despite his calm demeanor you wonder, for a second, if he’s planning to hit you. But then he takes another step and then you’re pressed against the blue wall of his bedroom and he’s kissing you. Everything is silent except for wet mouth noises and the occasional sound of shoes sifting through glass and Kevin Khatchadourian is kissing you.
It’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you, but it’s not entirely unwelcome. Even if perhaps it should be entirely unwelcome in every way possible considering the conversation you just tried to have.
He finally pulls away after a moment. You see something in his eyes you haven’t seen before. You’re not sure if it’s a reciprocation of your crush, of your feelings, or if it’s more so a bodily sort of hunger. Either way, you’ve ignited something in Kevin that you haven’t noticed there before. You take pride in it.
“Do that again,” You say, voice low. He complies.