Chapter Text
“It's not like I can go pursue him, right? There’s- there’s these expectations of what I'm supposed to be, Sundance, what he’s supposed to be- This isn't a hunt. It ain't simple as that. And to be honest, I don't think he even picks up on anything that I'm saying you're doing towards him- love the kid but he’s.. real dense, if you can understand what I'm meanin’.”
Sundance spins around his fingers while her Guardian talks, weaving between the outstretched digits. She’s watched this cycle countless times at this point- Cayde getting himself all fired up to finally
do
something about his feelings, then talking himself out of it. She’s even caught him interrupting his own sentences to argue with himself. Watched him worry the leather of his gloves thin enough to break between his fingertips, then watched as he wore the same exact spot away after complaining for her to repair it.
“You’ve had this conversation- with yourself, to be very clear about the state of your mind- about,
7 billion
times in the last month, Cayde.” Sundance settles onto his fingertips, fitting the fins of her shell into his hand and rustling herself to a comfortable position, sighing like an old man sinking into an armchair. “You made up your mind yet? Or do you want another, I don’t know,
TWO MONTHS?”
Cayde ducks his head away from his Ghost’s judgemental gaze, hood dipping over his face. Drawing his knees close to his chest, he cups Sundance in his palms, gently knocking his horn to the topmost freckle of her shell. “I know, Sunny, I know, I just-” He lets out a long sigh, voicebox crackling. Sundance nuzzles closer, bumping her shell against his horn in return. “I don’t want him to-” He swallows down the get too close, get to see I’m not the dream Hunter he thinks I am, end up like Nian and Lush and Anda-
He’s pulled out of the downward spiral by a sudden blooming pain between his brows. Sundance plops back into his hands, buzzing with irritation, optic narrowed at him. “Wyn is a competent Hunter, and you know that, Cayde. Stop acting like he’s still the same scared little New Light Sonja pulled out of the Cosmodrome dirt.” she snaps, as Cayde lets out a whine at the pain spreading through his forehead plating.
“I
know
he isn’t a newbie anymore, Sundance,
fuck
-” He rubs at his forehead, optics winced. “Kid’s taken out Hive Princes, he could probably hand most of my Hunters their asses in a fight if he didn’t get distracted by the paint job on their guns.” Cayde drags a hand down his face, plates dragging and snapping back into place. “I’m still his
boss.
I’m still running his strikes, his missions, his training. It doesn’t matter at the end of the day, really, what I’ve got going on up-” He knocks on the side of his head, padded leather on blue plating. “-there, Zavala and Ikora would mince my damn meat if I even so much as winked at the kid. I’m pretty sure Big Blue specifically would hang me up like a sweater in a closet till I promised to never see Wyn again.”
Sundance’s narrowed optic slowly slackens as Cayde’s words sink in, the parts of the situation she rashly ignored sinking in. There’s no chasing after Wyn- the most the two of them can do is mentor, be a friendly level of close. Oh, she has her little escapes with Omelette, sure, but the expectations of Ghosts interacting are a lot different than Gaurdians, especially Vanguard and Guardians. She’s never really thought about it fully- one of her faults, she supposes, inherited from her Guardian. Rashness. Diving in headfirst without thinking, or caring, about anything around them. It’s what she likes about Cayde. And it’s what she thinks should drive him to ignore whatever bullshit Zavala and Ikora have to say about his relationships, and chase after joy for once.
She comes back up to meet his eyes, dipping as he squints in preparation of another round of bullying.
“When,” she starts carefully, slowly. “Have you ever let those two tell you what to do? Aht-” she cuts him off, as the Exo’s mouth lights flicker on. “Not the Vanguard role, in your actual
life.
Did they pick out that outfit? Decide what you had for breakfast? What den you’re going to after patrols? No! They don’t, and they didn’t! Fuckssake Cayde, let yourself be happy for ONCE!” Sundance buzzes with passion again, the gold of her shell flashing as she wriggles her fins angrily in his face.
But Cayde doesn’t get fired up like she wanted. He doesn’t get that spark in his eyes, that squint of his optic plates that forecasts a good time. If anything…he looks more distressed.
“All I do is let them tell me what to do, Sundance. This ain’t nothin’ new.”