Chapter Text
February 13th, 2022. Suddenly awoken by the loud blaring of his 6:30 alarm, Matthew was already emotionally preparing for another boring, mediocre day at school. He picked up his phone to dismiss his alarm before it could wake anyone else in the house up. His mother was already awake, he knew that because he could smell the bacon and eggs she was already making downstairs. Matt didn't even need to be awake at 6:30am, classes don't begin until two (2) hours after, it's just that something about having such a routine schedule felt validating to him. Being able to consistently follow something makes him feel good.
He had broken up with his (now ex) boyfriend Jay five (5) days before. He still loves him, he knows that, but Jay was beginning to change themself for Matthew, and he didn't see that as fair. So, like the idiot he is, he lied. This isn't a one time occurrence either, and that doesn't help with the fact he already feels like shit about it. Just proves that he is also consistently sticking to the routine schedule of sucking at breakups and being unable to speak his feelings.
After dismissing his alarm, he opened Instagram. First thing he sees when clicking on the first story that shows up? Jay. With the rest of the wrestling team. Just the thing he needs to see right now! He feels tears prickling in the corners of his eyes but he's unsure if it's from happiness of seeing its face or if it's from sadness of seeing his face. He skips past their story before he can find out the answer. He feels his body tensing up so he just puts down his phone. He gets out of bed rather slowly and goes to the bathroom to take a quick shower then get dressed for school.
He hated his Monday schedule. Science first (with Jay), gym second (also with Jay), then a free period, possibly the worst thing to have to experience in his current state. He's been talking to Jessi again and his relationship with his mother is repairing, so that's good for him, but everything else is just empty.
He takes off his t-shirt and boxers and steps into the shower. He's not in there for any longer than 15 minutes as by the time he's out it's still only 7:05. He hurriedly throws on his binder, typical blue button up, ugly ass sweater vest, and white jeans. He barely brushes his strawberry-blonde hair, just running it through in a rough way. Picking up the toothpaste bottle, he tightly squeezes to get the last bit of toothpaste out onto his toothbrush. He brushes his teeth very lightly, he always has. Brushing too fast makes his teeth feel weird, plus he has braces 'cause his teeth decided to be shit. He finishes getting ready and decides to sit on the floor for a bit and listen to music (Cavetown, because he's a fucking ultra mega loser) while letting his hair dry because blow-dryers scare him.
Matthew has always had an issue communicating his feelings in a healthy and honest way, and he is well aware of that fact. Many relationships of his have been destroyed due to him having trouble being able to communicate how he thinks and feels to the other person/people. He thought he had gotten used to it after he broke up with Aiden in a rather distasteful way, but he and Jay's breakup proved that wrong, majorly wrong.
For the longest five (5) days of his life that he had just experienced, Jay was all he could think about, and he hated that fact. Matthew was the one who broke up with Jay, but this just felt so different. He still loves them, but it's not like he can go up to Jay and ask to be boyfriends again. Jay's been basically crushed these last couple weeks, and Matt can tell. They're hanging out with Nick, Andrew, and Jessi. He's as athletic as she usually is. From an outside perspective, it's fine, but Matthew is not an outside perspective. He knows something is wrong.
For the first day of their breakup, Thursday, Jay acted isolated. He wouldn't speak to anyone. Matthew was in no way kind about the breakup, leaving Jay with zero (0) hope of them ever getting back together. They wouldn't speak to anyone he didn't have to speak to, which is very out of character for her. On Friday, it was like in the blink of an eye he was back to normal, but Matthew knew something was wrong with Jay. He could tell 'cause of how much he (not-so-subtly) stares them down during science class. Even if it's just the small things, Matt has picked up on more zoning out, more hand fidgeting under his desk, and more passing out during classes. While none of this was out of character for Jay, it did become more consistent.
Whatever. Matthew's hair was dry so he decided to head downstairs.
"Well, you're up early!" The sound of a familiar voice was comforting to Matt.
"Yeah.. I guess" Matthew was totally unaware of what time it was. His stupid ass straight up went down for breakfast 10 minutes earlier than usual.
"You can have a seat if you want, or you could wait for everyone else to come downstairs for breakfast" Kimberly says, with a warm smile on her face. Matthew's relationship with his mother was slowly but surely repairing since when he was with Aiden.
Matt made his way to the living room and sat down on the couch. Turning on the television, it opened up to The Price Is Right, which I guess he can watch right now. Always great to see a rich white dude give away a bunch of shit to either homophobes or gays. He was already getting bored so he picked up his phone and texted Jessi.
M: You awake?
M: Jessiiiiiiiii.. :(
M: JESSI!!
M: Are you awake? :/
J: jesuz christ what
M: Nothing honestly, just need something to distract me right now.
J: figured
M: You should start getting some better grammar.
J: im texting someoje not writing a history essay
M: Die.
Matthew sighed at his phone. It's only 7:27. His brain just may explode. He decides to go on TikTok for a bit. Three (3) guesses what the first thing he sees is. If you guessed a poorly filmed thirst trap to King For A Day posted by none other than Jay Bilzerian then you are fucking correct.
After feeling every single vein in his fucking body fill with pure irritation, he opens up Spotify and shuffles his playlist. "I learned how to say I love you so much and I'm sorry in the-" NO. Not this fucking song. Anything but I Love You I'm Sorry. ANYTHING. He skips to the next song. Fucking Motion Sickness. Whatever, he goes back to watching The Price Is Right after deciding everything in the world is against him.
"Guys! Breakfast is ready!" His mother yelled from the kitchen/dining room. Matthew went to the other room and sat down while everyone else was making their way downstairs. When everyone was seated they joined their hands together to thank God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit for this meal (amen). Matt poked and picked at his sunny side up egg and had a piece of bacon.
"I'm gonna head out." He states without thinking
"Son, your bus won't come for another half hour?" His father replies
"I'm gonna walk! You've got to get that workout, right?"
"Alright little dude, be safe!"
"Have fun at school!" His mom reacts.
He throws on his messenger bag that he uses for school, along with his coat that turns him into an oven and then makes his way out the door. It's fucking freezing. Not actually, it's only 49° (farenheit) out, and he has on his coat, but his face is about to get so cold it'll need to be amputated. 49° my ass. Bridgeton Middle is five (5) miles away, it's an hour-long walk for Matthew.
He arrives at school at 8:30am after what may have been actual torture, he just couldn't be around people then, but now he's back in that same boring, dull environment. Valentine's Day is tomorrow and he could not be less excited. The hallways are already littered with random heart-shaped shit. He makes his way to his locker that is further down the hall. He got locker 69, how delightful. His heart drops when he sees all-too familiar black spiky hair that's growing out to be shoulder length with a messy, small ponytail. Jay. They're speaking to Andrew about God knows what. All Matthew knows is that he is staring. Not that calmly. He looks fucking insane, staring at his ex boyfriend. Andrew gives him a confused look, leading Jay to turn around.
Eye contact. Fucking hell. Matthew quickly looks away, but he knows Jay realized. The confused look from his dark brown eyes was enough to put Matthew into a fucking coma out of the pure embarrassment he felt. He threw his bag and coat into his locker and made his way to his homeroom.
8:35. Ms. Benitez started taking attendance, quickly getting through the one (1) last name starting with A and immediately getting to Jay.
"Bilzerian?" No response. Ms. Benitez' eyes focus on a passed out Jay, whose head is resting on the palm of her hand. Andrew, who is sitting next to him, pokes Jay with his pencil.
"Dude, wake up." He whispers into Jay's ear. He shoots awake to an immediate view of Ms. Benitez' intimidating glare
"Is it two??" He says, in a quiet, raspy voice, to the response of laughter from the classroom.
"I'll take that as 'here'."
She gets through the rest of the names
"Birch?"
"Here.."
"Foreman-Greenwald?"
"Here!"
"Glaser?"
"Here."
"Glouberman?"
"Here."
"LeSeven?"
"Here."
"Macdell?"
"Here."
The bell rang. Science. The class Matthew sits next to Jay in. Shit.
‘Plan A: Do your best to not stare down Jay Bilzerian.’ Matthew thought, though he already knew he’d fuck this up.
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Matthew POV
I make my way down the hallway very quickly, even though we have a 5 minute passing period. I’m already at the science classroom so I walk inside and sit down at my seat in the second farthest seat to the right in the back. Jay sits in the far right seat in the back, next to me, and it’s two (2) person tables. I hear the door open so I shoot up, though it’s just Missy.
“Oh! Sorry did I startle you, Matthew?” She asks in concern.
“No, it’s fine, you didn’t do anything.” I reply, giving her a quick smile of reassurance at the end.
“Good!” She smiles, showing her small-ish tooth gap and her braces, and makes her way to her seat in the front. She’s the only student who doesn’t sit with someone, so she just gets a big desk. Lucky bitch.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, a message from Jessi.
J: whta class r u in?????
M: Science. With Jay.
J: ooooooooooooh thats not great is it…
M: It’s not! X
I close out iMessage and open up Spotify, putting in a singular headphone, the left side. I put my playlist on shuffle, making it go to Snow On The Beach by Taylor Swift ft. (barely) Lana Del Rey. Cringe!
I take a deep sigh before getting out my science notebook while the teacher is writing down the lesson plan for today. I couldn't care less about chemistry, our current unit. I just can’t wait for fifth period drama/theatre, the one class today where I will manage to fully avoid Jay because 1. He doesn’t take it and 2. It calls drama gay. She’s not wrong, but they 100% meant that in a derogatory homophobe way, whatever. He’s had a rough upbringing, they’re getting better! The door opens again and I look up to a face, thankfully not Jay’s, but not-so-thankfully Nick’s. He gives me a look and sits down. Everyone arrives within the last three (3) minutes of the passing period, but no sign of Jay. It’s not unusual for him to be late, it’s just that they’re all I can fuckin’ think of right now, which I hate.
“Alright class today we’re going to be learning about…” I’m already about to fall asleep. I put my arms on the table on top of eachother and rested my head on them. I fell asleep before being quickly awoken by the sound of the door opening. Jay. They walk to the back of my class and throws his backpack underneath the table. Jay opens its mouth.
“Caleb wanted me to remind you you were supposed to do morning announcements.” Shit! I’d completely forgotten. I grab a post-it from my bag and write a note saying “gotta do morning announcements soz”. Hopefully the teacher understands what “soz” means. I put the post-it on the teachers desk while they’re explaining some stupid chemistry shit and make my way to the recording studio on the second floor.
The clock strikes 9:00 when I reach the recording studio. I rush to the desk.
“3, 2, 1.” Caleb counts down to recording in his monotone voice. I didn’t prepare a fucking script. There are queue cards, it’s fine.
“Good morning Bridgeton Middle and happy Monday! Valentine’s Day is tomorrow meaning it’s the uh last day to purchase a lollipop for a person of your choice for just 25 cents. Lollipops will be given out tomorrow and whoever gets the most gets a clue as to who the mystery principal is ! Now, let's get to some shit you all ACTUALLY care about. DeVon and Devin's child-divorce, and this time, it may actually be permanent! But who are we to determine that right now? It is rumoured that Devin broke up with DeVon claiming to love someone else, though our information is loose right now. They have been seen standing outside of this Panera Bread at roughly 5:00 yesterday, so they appear to be on good terms. You may get back to your classes I'm sure you guys care about." Morning announcements end in two (2) minutes or so.
"That was impressive for just reading off of queue cards." Caleb says
"Yeah!" I replied. It was great to not think about Jay for a second. I leave the recording studio and catch Caleb looking at me. There have been some rumours that Caleb likes me, like, like-likes me. He showed distaste towards Aiden (fair), but also when me and Jay started dating too. Whatever, I need to get back to science class. Well.. do I? I have my bag with me, and it’s not like I care about science anyways. I’ll just skip.
I feel my heart beginning to race. I’ve never skipped class before, let alone just ONE PERIOD, ‘cause I’m going to gym second period. I make my way to the first (1st) floor boy’s bathroom to hide out in a stall with my feet up and be on my phone until the bell rings.