Work Text:
mizuki had always been a pessimist.
they were one of the people sad when their favorite drink was on a cup that's half empty, because that meant that their time to enjoy it was coming to an end.
several failed friendships and crippling anxiety had been chewing their brain for what seemed like all their life; naturally, their way of thinking morphed into a constant feeling of fear of abandonment. they expected every person to leave them eventually, even with the ones they spent years with, like rui or an, their enjoyment of the company was always clouded by worry.
they couldn't think about a time where it was worse than that moment, though.
on the rooftop of their school, the place where they spent most of their time when they actually cared enough to go, they were standing, legs weak from the fear, tears threatening to fall from their eyes, hands aching trying to reach for anything they could grab before they broke down.
yet, the only thing they could possibly grab was the thing they feared the most.
in front of them, ena was promising to stay by their side, forever.
she promised to stay even when she learned their secret.
they wanted to believe her so bad, but they were so scared, scared that she didn't know what she was talking about, scared that she was going to leave them like most of the others did.
and they didn't want her to leave. their worst fear was now a reality, they were attached now, thinking about her seemingly inevitable parting was giving them a headache.
but for once, they tried to hold into that hope of staying with her, even if it was just for one more second, a weak grip, but a grip nonetheless.
they don't want to guess what would have happened if that grip didn't exist.
if they succumbed to the intrusive thoughts about leaving her before she had the chance to leave them, where would they be now?
certainly not pouring hot water on mugs for theirs and their girlfriend's beverages.
making coffee and tea at the same time, the first mug was completely filled with the boiling water, turning a dark brown. as for their tea, their mouth could never tolerate hot temperatures, so the hot water always left the cup half empty before filling up with cold water.
half empty or half full, lately it felt more like the last one, they smiled fondly at the recent memories of ena and mizuki's first apartment, getting to see her work until late hours of the night until their sleep schedule, which wasn't as messed up as their lover's, attacked their consciousness, preparing coffee and tea on the same mugs every other night when ena needed to keep on working and mizuki needed to go to sleep, the rest of the nights spent together in comfortable laziness, more importantly, the weight of secrets and fear, while never completely erased, turned into bearable thoughts that ena could lessen with just her being there.
stirring the last spoonful of sugar on ena's coffee, they picked the mugs up and headed to their shared bedroom, encountering none other than the working girl looking at her tablet, they placed the mugs on the desk after kissing her forehead.
in a few sips, their tea was gone and they were ready to admire their girlfriend's hard work until they fell asleep.
they were glad the cup was half full now.