Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

As a young man in university, Alex has student debt to pay off. So he rents a cheap apartment and lives mostly off cup noodles.

Every so often, he’ll indulge in a slushy from the convenience store just a block away.

When he isn’t studying or working, he spends most of his time playing video games and watching anime.

If given the option, Alex would rather spend his days being lazy than be a productive member of society. However, so that he can have free time to laze around, he makes sure to prioritize getting his work done.

Being an introvert, he finds navigating social interactions—especially because of a last-minute group project the professor assigned, annoying. Yet Alex knows he can’t get out of it if he wants to complete his degree.

The plan was for everyone to meet at the library, but at this point it seems like the others aren’t going to show up.

So Alex sits there alone, surrounded by shelves of books, his laptop open. Tomorrow in class, he’ll ask the professor if he can work alone or join a different group.

All of a sudden, Alex’s eyelids grow heavy with sleep. This is unusual, considering he had plenty of coffee to drink beforehand.

Surely the absurd amount of caffeine in a caramel macchiato should have kept him awake. Regardless, the world begins to spin, and then he blacks out.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Alex wakes up to find himself trapped in some sort of limbo. Or perhaps this is all just a really bad dream…

Though this is a drastic change from his usual existence, he still tries to think rationally and piece together what’s happening. But Alex quickly realizes he can’t move his body or even speak.

He has no mouth, and yet the urge to scream claws at him. Water shouldn’t be able to flood lungs that no longer exist, and yet Alex feels like he’s drowning.

Then he blinks. And blinks again. The sensation of dying is gone, at least for now.

How strange. For he now stands in an open field, snow stretching endlessly in all directions. Little flora or fauna can be seen, the place radiating the desolation of a frozen wasteland.

“Ajax… my precious child, you’re alive!!” cried a middle-aged woman Alex has never seen before.

Alex sure as hell doesn’t know what’s going on. Oh, fuck.... He’s covered in blood, his body is too small, and his clothes are in tatters. Not that any of that is the biggest issue right now.

Before he can process further, he’s enveloped—no, crushed by the weight of a motherly hug. It’s as if this stranger truly believes he’s returned from the dead.

Eventually, the pieces begin to fall into place, like Gnosis on a chessboard. Genshin Impact. Transmigration. A startling revelation.

The original Ajax’s consciousness died in the Abyss. And somehow, Alex is the one who made it out alive instead.

A Cryo Vision hangs from a chain pinned to his ragged jacket like a brooch. Alex honestly doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

The frigid air stung, despite the fact that Alex wore plenty of warm, layered clothing. He had never been a fan of the cold.

To him, winter always felt… brittle? Bitter? Yes—bitter was the word for it, the way northern climates seemed to gnaw at the bones.

His eyes wandered, taking in the buildings and architecture. According to the lore of Genshin Impact, Morepesok was supposed to be a tiny settlement.

Yet the more Alex looked around, the more bustling and alive it seemed.

The town teemed with people going about their business. Down one street, a crowded fish market buzzed with vendors hawking everything from fresh food to carved trinkets.

Of course, in the game, Teyvat had to be made compact. There was only so much data that could fit into one release.

But this was different. This Teyvat wasn’t pixels on a screen—it was vivid, breathing, and unmistakably real.

Eventually, the middle-aged woman and young boy led Alex to a two-story log cabin, smoke curling steadily from the chimney.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

“We're home now... Ajax, is there anything that seems familiar?” His new mother asked with an undertone of hope.

Alex felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt. All he wanted right now at that moment was to sleep all his troubles away.

For one he never asked to be isekaied, much less shoved into the body of this caring woman’s son. Nonetheless Alex mustered up the effort to come up with a response.

Breaking his mother’s heart was the last thing he wanted to do. So Alex lied right to her face.

Alex looked at her with his head tilted as if he were thinking it over. “I’m not really sure, it's all so fuzzy... But yes, I remember a few things. I still really like narwhals… And father used to take me ice fishing I think.”

Ajax’s mother smiled and hugged him tight. Alex hugged her back with a pained smile, his stomach was twisting inside out with guilt.

“I promise you everything will be alright. Tomorrow, we'll talk more in the morning. Your old room is this way. It's getting late so you should head to bed.”

Thus Alex merely nodded in agreement. He followed the middle aged woman down the hallway, trying hard not to look back.

Sure he felt bad for lying to his mother, but Alex knew he couldn't tell her the truth, it was an existential crisis thing. For she would only worry more than she already did.

“Good night…” Alex’s voice was barely above a whisper. His voice sounded different; he hardly recognized himself, that he was one doing the talking.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

So this was the original Ajax’s room, a space that used to belong to an innocent Ajax who didn’t fall into the Abyss.

Anyways none of the items seemed as if they had been touched or moved. However, the place was clearly well looked after, no dust in sight.

Meanwhile there were also miscellaneous personal belongings like a few children’s books and wooden toys scattered on the floor. In one corner was a miniature fishing rod.

On the bed was a blue whale plushie with a button eye missing. Various other nicknacks decorated the room, such as the snowglobe of Zapolyarny Palace.

Sadly there was no Ajax anymore, only Alex. Suffice to say he feels like an imposter.

Nonetheless, Alex lays down, shuts his eyes and tries to get some sleep. Maybe this is all some vivid lucid dream and when he wakes up he’ll be back at the library.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Nope, definitely not a dream… Alex is still stuck in the body of Ajax. Suffice to say days pass by like clockwork.

Those around him think Ajax has changed due to the trauma of getting lost in the wilderness. Therefore Alex has a blank slate to work with.

Humans are resilient in their ability to adapt to new found circumstances. So Alex slips into the role of Ajax almost effortlessly. Weeks go by without incident.

Should being a part of a large family be considered a novelty? Well in Alex’s first life he was an only child, so as Ajax it takes some adjusting to get used to.

Anyways, Anya happens to be the oldest. However she doesn't live at home anymore because she’s engaged.

The second oldest is Ivan. He wants to be a fisherman like their father and own a commercial fishing ship one day.

Andrei is the third oldest with dreams of moving to Fontaine. His aspirations include either studying law or opening a fashion boutique.

As a middle child there’s a delicate balance between being responsible and mischievous. Sometimes Alex is the obnoxious younger sibling, other times he’s a doting older brother.

Tonia and Anthon still attend the community primary school due to their young age. Meanwhile Teucer is a newborn baby.

Although Alex has carved out a niche for himself within the Rohontav family there are moments in which he feels like he doesn't belong. Hence his head is in the clouds.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Living in a house with a lot of people living under one roof is chaotic. Yet at the same time it makes for a homely atmosphere.

Alex likes to think that he's part of the household, to help out his mother he'll do chores around the house. It gives him a feeling of belonging, not being just an outsider looking in.

There are similarities shared between Teyvat and Earth. However, Teyvat is an entirely different world, so to fill in the gaps Alex spends a great deal of his time immersed in books.

Only after a moment of self introspection does he come to the realization that his thoughts and words have been entirely in Snezhnayan. Whereas it now takes Alex a considerable amount of effort to speak English.

In Teyvat, English can be considered a dead language. For nobody knows about its existence other than Alex, and maybe the twin travelers who are fallen stars from afar.

Not counting regional dialects, it turns out that Teyvat has seven official unique languages plus a common tongue.

“Ajax, are you trying to speak Mondstadtian? Well… You sound way off!” Anya teased.

To which Alex froze up. He was caught red handed attempting to get his English pronunciation perfect.

She was right, he did sound awkward. English could truly be considered a ridiculous language to which Alex burst out in laughter.

An important thing to note is that English doesn't really have any Teyvat equivalent. Although Snezhnayan has a lot of similarities with the Eastern Slavic languages of Earth.

Suffice to say that if Alex is going to more than just survive but thrive he has a lot of studying to do.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

A month later father returned home early from his fishing trip. “So my boy has not just any Vision, but a Cryo one! It seems her highness, the Tsaritsa, favours you.”

At those words Alex’s initial reaction is to scowl but he stops himself. Instead he gives a fake small half smile as his hair is ruffled.

Sure when Genshin Impact was nothing more than just a game Alex had thought the Archons were cool characters. Yet he had only played up until Sumeru.

That being said, living a first hand experience under the harsh rule of a god who has no love left for her people gives an added perspective.

Unlike the person who Ajax was meant to become, Alex has no delusional loyalty to the Tsaritsa. Instead only cold indifference.

How ironic that rather than a Hydro Vision he’s the one stuck with a Cryo Vision. And well here's the thing, Alex would rather avoid the main plot like the plague.

To do that he has to remain unremarkable. However, any person that is an allogenes holds a much greater significance than someone without a Vision.

Therefore when nobody is paying attention, Alex sets out to the nearest creek. To which he tossed the Cryo Vision into the fast moving current.

It was someone else's problem now and that night Alex let out a sigh of relief. Finally he could sleep much easier without thoughts of the future weighing him down.

Only the next morning the Cryo Vision was mysteriously back on his night table.

Long story short Alex gave up on trying to dispose of it and learned to live with having a Vision.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Despite mixed feelings on the topic, having a Vision comes in handy. Alex is able to conjure snow and ice from thin air.

It's not as impressive as he'd like it to be, but it gets the job done. The problem isn't that the snow doesn't last long enough, because it does. It's just that he can only make so much of it at any given moment.

During snowball fights Tonia and Anthon used to team up on Alex. Yet thanks to his Cryo Vision he now has the upper hand.

"Take this!" Alex laughs as he pelts a snowball at Anya.

Tonia quickly ducks out of the way. Whereas Anthon continues to throw snowballs at his older brother.

Then it's Andrei who acts as a distraction while Ivan sneaks up behind Alex to shove snow down the back of his jacket.

“No fair and now I’m too cold! Alex exclaimed. Maybe the next snowball fight he’ll win. For now it was better for him to retreat and warm up inside by the fire.

In all honesty Alex has grown to appreciate the perks of having a Vision. Except some aspects remain a constant annoyance.

Maybe it's a Vision holder thing. Due to the fact his natural body temperature is strangely lower than it used to be.
So now he’s like a walking freezer. Hence Alex freezes much more easily than normal when the cold hits him—and it does hit him.

The air is so crisp and cool on his skin, like touching an ice cube. He can feel the chill in the ground under his feet, too.

Nonetheless Alex’s Cryo Vision is a testament that he’s Alex and not Ajax. He's his own person, with dreams and different aspirations.

Yet Alex has also taken up the moniker of Ajax even if he can never be him.

As in the innocent kid who hadn’t yet fallen into the Abyss, nor the battle obsessed warrior who was supposed to make it out on the other side.

Sure it’s a calming notion, perpetual in motion. Therefore Alex doesn't need any comfort and yet he still lies.

After all there won’t always be sunshine, especially when the heavens fall and the war against the divine commences.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Despite everything it's still him. Soon Alex will have to leave to pick up Tonia and Anthon from school.

Before that though Alex solemnly stands in the foyer of Ajax’s house. There's a mirror and next to the front door is a vase with sunflowers.

Although since the original Ajax is gone, replaced but not forgotten Alex has come to know the place as home.

That being said, is it really Ajax who has died or is it Alex who is dead? However, everyone calls him Ajax even though his name is Alex.

Even the reflection that stares back is Ajax… Not Alex.

Alex had been a scrawny kid with an average height, and farsighted so he needed to wear glasses. Maybe even eyes brown or green eyes but he can’t remember.

Also his head of hair was silvery blonde. Plus there was a beauty mark below his lip on the left side of his face.

Meanwhile the figure in the mirror has orange auburn colored hair and too many freckles. Once he stops growing he’ll probably be stupidly tall.

Thus it's Alex who stares in the mirror but Ajax who walks out the door.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Of course there's still moments of second guessing and imposter syndrome but he’s come to terms with the fact that he is Ajax.

Albeit some things are the same as they once were but there are some differences. For instance he’s an Ajax that has no desire to join the Fatui or become a Harbinger.

The light in his eyes still shines. That being said his pupils somehow invoke the feeling of being dead, dull, and vacant.

Although it's a common well known fact that getting a PhD is soul sucking. Too bad, reincarnation means starting back from square one again.

Ajax also has twenty-twenty perfect vision. However, as a nod and call back to the previous lifetime in which he was Alex, Ajax wears glasses that serve no practical reasons.

There's comfortability in sticking with the familiar…

Anyways in fact this Ajax envisions himself becoming a scholar of Sumeru or even a historian in Liyue. Yet some things are not meant to be and fate must follow a predestined course.

The stars never lie and his constellation is still that of Monoceros Caeli.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Ajax isn’t a battle maniac and yet he fears for the future. So he starts small, fighting slimes and lone Hilichurl.

Whether by coincidence or destiny Ajax brings his father’s old hunting bow everywhere. No need to spend money on arrows when he can just create his own made out of ice.

Whereas the time Ajax took down an entire Ruin Guard was an accidental thing. A mishap that happened in a single afternoon.

As soon as Teucer could walk he always got into all sorts of trouble. A toddler too curious for his own good.

Anyway he had gotten too close to an abandoned Khaenri'ah machine which activated it. As such the Ruin Guard sprung to life.

To be fair Ajax was supposed to watch Tecuer. Yet the toddler had taken the opportunity to explore on his own.

“Where’d you go Teucer?!” Ajax called out. It was a small miracle that the Ruin Guard hadn’t immediately started firing. 

Man, kids are morons. It appeared his youngest brother was distracted by the blinking light of the Ruin Guard. Instead it turned away from Teucer and targeted Ajax.

Still Ajax sprinted into action with minimal planning or a thought out strategy. The first thing he did was pick up Tecuer and bring him to safety.

After which Ajax vented all his frustrations on the automaton, the Ruin Guard was now his stress ball.

So he had taken out his bow and shot it down. The Ruin Guard was still moving so Ajax continued to shoot arrows at it.

All that was left was gears, cogs, and a heap of frozen machinery.

“Hear me out.” Ajax attempted to explain with a sigh. “Ruin Guards aren’t toys.” Although he had a feeling that his words fell on deaf ears.

If only a rooster hadn’t watched the whole event unfold like a theater play. In Snezhnaya it's hard for those with Visions to be exempt from military duty.

Therefore it was only a matter of time until Ajax would be forced to enlist in the Fatui. So in the moment Ajax smiles like he means it.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Chapter Text

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Hold on a second, rewind a bit before fast forwarding.

Most parents fear not being able to protect their children from danger and death.

However, there are no guarantees—ever— of truly being able to keep kids safe from harm.

Especially when the time comes for the next generation to go out and see the world.

So Ajax went ice fishing, nothing more than a small outing as he promised to be home for dinner. Only he went missing mere hours later.

Therefore the night Ajax never came home was the day that the Rohontav family almost fell apart. His mother cried herself to sleep while his father tried his best to be strong for her sake.

Mr. Rohontav comforted his wife by saying "maybe the boy will turn up alive, after all." Yet when dawn broke he couldn't even convince himself of that anymore.

There was a search party organized and of course it was to no avail. People hoped that when the snow thawed during the warmer months a body would at least be found.

That way the family would be able to find closure and finally conduct a proper funeral.

After coming home from sea, Ajax's father returned from work with tears in his eyes. He'd seen an apparition and in the family living sitting on a couch was his son.

To which Mrs. Rohontav finally sat her husband down to explain the situation. During the middle of a snowstorm Ajax was found standing in the middle of a field.

It looked like he had been attacked by a bear or something along those lines. Scars and calluses marred the boy’s hands. Otherwise Ajax was fine.

Alive… But not the same. Memory loss, the doctor confirmed. Things at home weren’t the same as they once were.

There were sore subjects that were never blatantly said. Such as the fact, it was obvious that Ajax would look at his immediate relatives and see strangers in the place of family.

People would also call out Ajax’s name. Yet it would take minutes for him to register there was an initiation of conversation or he was the one being talked to.

And sure a sense of normalcy is eventually found and yet it always ends in being fleeting. An addiction to a certain kind of sadness.

Now Ajax is just somebody that his family used to know. All the while hauntingly familiar and despite the amnesia… perhaps Ajax is still Ajax.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Anya worries about her younger siblings every now and then but it's Ajax who she’s concerned about the most these days while visiting home. It's almost cynical of her to think that maybe it would have been better if Ajax stayed dead.

A Cryo Vision... Of all things why did it have to be that which dooms his future like a harpooned whale.

If it were any other Vision, say a Hydro or Dendro then he’d have a chance. However, anything that’s Cryo is like an extension of the Tsaritsa.

Those who are blessed, no burdened with the power of Cryo often experience a great loss tied to love.

Nonetheless, she loves her little brother and wants the best for him. Yet, Anya doesn't know how to help him and it seems like Ajax doesn’t even want her help either.

There are days Ajax comes home looking worse for wear and his eyes are haunted. His clothes are sometimes covered in blood not his own. It's hard to recognize her brother when he returns like that.

At least he answers to his name, it's a sign that there's still humanity left in him. Ajax answers questions when she asks where he's been or what he's been doing.

"Hunting Mitachurls," or Ajax will say "I got into a scuffle with some treasure hoarders," etcetera, etcetera. Anya has heard these answers enough times that she could recite them all herself.

Lately Anya has gotten into knitting. The repettitive motion means she isn't picking at her nails, and it gives her something to focus her anxious energy on.

Her latest project is a scarf. A deep maroon colour that will go well with Ajax's hair and eyes. It's something for him to wear during the eternal winter and the cold nights.

Hopefully everything will turn out alright.

One evening the scarf had been finished. It is soft, fluffy and long enough to be wrapped around someone's neck two times over. It had taken weeks to make but the end result is more than satisfactory.

Anya sets it aside to wrap it as a gift later. Only to take the newly wrapped parcel with her when she visits her childhood home.

Ajax is sitting by the fireplace, he looks at the parcel. "What's that?"

"Something I made you," says Anya and she hands him the gift.

Ajax opens the parcel and inside is the scarf.

"Wow! This is so soft!" Ajax is clearly surprised.

"You like it?" Anya smiles.

"Yeah, I like it a lot. Thank you," Ajax says.

Anya nods. "Glad to hear that."

The scarf is then draped around his neck. He smiles and then pulls her into a hug.

"Thank you for this."

"It was nothing. Really."

"You say that but still. I appreciate it a lot. Thank you, big sis," says Ajax and he tightens his grip on her.  He becomes teary-eyed and sniffles.

"Are you crying? Don't cry," Anya laughs.

"I'm not," Ajax lies.

"Ajax, what's wrong? Something must be bothering you."

"I..."

"You can talk to me, tell me anything."

"I don't know how to tell you or if I can tell you," Ajax admits.

"Why not?"

"I don't wanna disappoint you or anyone else."

"Ajax, look at me."

He looks up at her. The light behind his eyes is dim.

"Nothing you can say or do will ever disappoint me. Please tell me what's bothering you."

"The way people look at me, they whisper because I come home covered in blood sometimes. Yet I have to get stronger, I'm afraid of what might happen if I don't. What happened during the Archon war and to Khaenri'ah terrifies me ."

"Oh," says Anya. " Well, the Archon war happened centuries ago. And Khaenri'ah was destroyed for defying the heavens. That's both far in the past."

"Doesn't change the fact that the Abyss is still there," says Ajax and he pulls away. "I fell into it."

"You what?!"

"I fell into the Abyss and that's why I got my vision," Ajax says.

"That sounds scary," Anya hugs him tighter. "Now you're safe and sound, back with your family."

"And it's not just that. Ever since I got the Vision, I have dreams or maybe memories and I see people and places I've never known. They feel so familiar, but...they can't be. It's like...it's like..."

"Deja vu," Anya offered. "Have you told Mom or Dad this?"

"No, because what if they think I'm crazy."

"They wouldn't think that."

"I'm still scared."

"What are you afraid of?"

"The future . What will happen to me, what will become of me."

"I don't know either, Ajax. All I can say is, the only way to find out is to face the unknown head on." Anya replies.

For now it's enough to be here for him. Anya wraps her arms around her younger brother.

She can only pray to the Tsaritsa, that whatever happens... her family.. And Ajax will be okay.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Sometimes Ajax tosses and turns before falling asleep. His mind can’t remember what the night terrors are about, but adrenaline often courses through his veins.

Perhaps this paranoid muscle memory is a result of conditioning from surviving whatever horrors lurk in the dregs of Teyvat. As they say body in abyss, heart in paradise.

Other times the dreams are more lucid yet still fleeting. It's like that metaphor where a butterfly dreams he is a man or the man dreams he is a butterfly.

Absolute peace amid a dreamscape of foolish theatrics perhaps Ajax is the only captive audience. Except there is no Ajax, or Alex, only Alexei.

Words etch and brandish to the mind. Clearly that’s his voice but despite that he has no recollection of ever saying such a thing.

“̯̤̈̀С̵̛̬̣̈е̵̋̎с̵̧̜̰т̸̧͗̋͗̇р̸̈и̸̱̭̂ͅц̀а̸̮̥̑.̵͈

̍S̬̜̈̌̎ͅo̯̩r̴̗͂̈r̊y̰̣̖.̴̩̎̀.̸̜̎.̵̊ ̸̗̬̈ẗ̜o̧̯̥̩̥ ̵a̛̜ͅl̗̎s̸̩̥õ̤̰̌ ̴h̴̰a̴v̸̗̋ḙ̵ ̜̈̈y̤̩ö̸ü̵͂̀̀ ̸̆s̴̛̛̗̎̈h̛͗ͅȍ̰̗u̸̗̭l̵̀d̵̈̇ȩ̣̱r̵̩̬̈ ͈̬̉ṯ̵̭̋̈h̵̜̤ë̵̩̬̋ ̗̉̈g̸̛̮̊̂r̸̖̀ï̸͂e̛͂v̭̂̊a̸̗n̸̤̈c̸̀̇ḛ̵̋̊s̴̰ ̩̱̱̆ò̍f̂ ̴̭̥t̴̯͈̏̆͂ĥ̸͗ě̬ ̮͗w̴̌̇o̰r̵̩̎̏l̩̈̆̇̉d̰̜̍̈̈͗.̉

͗͂S̮̀̋ȋ̭̀̂̂n̉̀c̵̛̀͂̈e̴̜̰͗̍ ̵̤̀ŷo̴̬u̴͗̏ ̴̭̎c̸̭o̸̹͈͂ȕ̥̖l̴̖̩̬̏ḓ̌̎̆̈ ̨̋͂e̩n̸̈̊̊̀d̵̰̥u̵̧r̴̀ẻ̵̜̋̋ ̯̤̋m̸̨̗y̴̌ ̴̍ḇ̑î̯̯ţ̣̥t̴̤̊ȇ̖r̛̬͗ ̵̯̖̌͂̆c̩̭ȏ̴̥̎l̇̃d̵̹͂,̵̤̀̊̎̋ ̧̋͗ẙỏ̩̰u ̨̹m̸̛̀̊ử̛̯s̴t ͈̣̈̉h̵a̵̜̬̖v̸̥̹̆ę̴̃ ̴͈͈̀ṭ̴̨̆h̵̊ė̑ ̵̈̈ͅḋ̥ę̴̈̈s̵̥͈͗i̸̖̱̇̀̈ṛe̸̩ ̀̇͗t̩̊ͅo ̵̇̀̎b̭u̮̖r̴̯̎n̸̯̆?̴͈͂̀

̵̯̰T̗̤̗h̗̗̀e̋n̸̬̈̑,̸̧̨͗̆ ̜̌b̎̂ư̸̹̊̀r̴̨̹̭ñ̯ ̴̖̰̑â̸̈w̸͈̮ä̴̱y̸̨̯̭ ̣̈̂th̵̀̎e̵͈̭̜̎̊ ̴̛ò̱l̵̖̋̀d̸̗̆͗ͅ ̹͈̌w̨̧̛̰͂̎̃ôr̵l̸̩d̈̈ f̸̋̊̍ò̮r̵ ͈m̸̍ę̛̈ͅ.̤̀̈”̸̛̬̰̜͗̉

However, it seems to be an incoherent mess that's distorted and broken like shattered shards of ice. Of course this probably means nothing and Ajax wakes up.

In the end it's all just a bad dream and Ajax can't recall the content of his nightmares anyways.

Then there are the dreams of warmth. A tender hand, a voice, a person he doesn't remember. "Xiansheng."

Whoever Xiansheng is, it must be a special someone. A beloved. Alexei can't remember a lot of things, but he does remember that Xiansheng's smile was as warm as the sun.

Sure Alexei doesn't know who this Xiansheng is, or even what they look like. Yet the yearning to find them and learn the meaning behind that name, remains.

Fire-water tastes the same as he remembers but where are those who share the memory?

Yet Alex is a good pretender and pretends not to miss someone he doesn't even know. After all he's just some regular university student that woke up in the body of a fictional character, not someone who participated in a war for one of the seven thrones.

Ajax is the mask that is worn when facing the world and Alex is the person who pretends to be Ajax. It's a fine balance and he thinks that if he tries hard enough then maybe he can fool himself.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Near the borders of Snezhnaya there are reports of unusual activity from the Abyss Order.

Intel gathered suggests that various Ruin Guards have been tampered and experimented with. As if merely a prelude to much bigger plans like the makings of a mechanized god.

This in turn inspires Dottore to look into similar ideas. After all, the nation of Sumeru seems in desperate need of a new Archon to enlighten them with true wisdom.

On to more important matters… In the name of the Tsaritsa, Pulcinella personally sets out to not just investigate, but to eradicate whatever the Abyss Order is scheming in her majesty’s land!

A few Fatui skirmishers are assigned to assist and accompany Pulcinella. Though he doubts that their help will be required.

However, the last thing the Harbinger expect ed to find was a young teenage boy obliterating a Hilichurl camp. Pulcinella has encountered the boy before but it was always from a distance.

Now though the two of them are almost face-to-face.

The boy looks to be no older than fifteen and Pulcinella can't believe the sheer power and ferocity the kid possesses. Even after the large Frostarm Lawachurl is destroyed, the boy continues to strike it with arrows of ice.

But there was something about him that was unnerving. The way the boy moves, the way he holds himself and his eyes. Reminiscent of the previous archon. Pulcinella can't explain it.

"Hey, what are you doing here old man?" The boy finally takes notice of his presence and the Harbinger can't help but flinch at the sudden attention.

Pulcinella clears his throat and composes himself. "I'm here on behalf of her majesty the Tsaritsa to deal with any Abyss Order threats. Who might you be?"

"No one of importance."

"Now, now, there's no need for hostility. Everybody is important to somebody. So I'll ask again what's your name, young man?"

"Ajax."

"Pleasure to meet you Ajax, I'm Pulcinella."

"Oh, must be like one of those Fatui Harbingers since you sound like a politician." Ajax remarks.

"Well, I can't deny that." Pulcinella chuckles.

"Why are you here anyways? Shouldn't you be working, Mr. Harbinger?"

"As a matter of fact, I am working. You see, the Abyss Order has been up to no good lately."

"Really?" Ajax blinks.

"So we're here to investigate and take care of any threats."

"Hmm, well good luck with that." Ajax starts walking away.

"Where are you going?"

"Home, of course."

"You live nearby?"

"Yep, I've got a bed to return to, sleep calls." Ajax yawns before disappearing off into the distance.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Snezhnaya is a large nation but for Ajax to run into a Fatui Harbinger it's almost as if fate is out to get him. Knowing his luck though he has to be destiny's favourite fool.

Despite that the Fatui are fools themselves as fatui means 'someone who works hard, but fruitlessly.' Fatui is a synonym for a fool. What a perfect description for a bunch of idiots who work for the Tsaritsa, a tyrant who is a fool herself.

Though, Ajax would rather not dwell on that.

Anyway it wasn't as if he intended to follow in the foot steps of the original goods. Ajax didn't exactly want to come off as a battle sexual obsessed maniac but there was a fear that came with the thought of growing weak.

Ajax can't afford to lose or grow weaker. So in order to stay ahead of the game and prevent his own downfall, training is a must.

Fighting monsters is a pain. Who wants to come home covered in monster blood and guts? Not him! That's who.

The scarf that his sister gave him is a blessing and keeps his neck warm. But the rest of him is freezing, the winter chill is unrelenting and merciless.

At the very least he's gotten used to the cold. As it's become a part of him, an extension of his being. The ice constructs his Cryo Vision makes, reflect his mood.

Why limit himself to one thing when he can master a whole arsenal of snow forged weapons? Sometimes he unconsciously builds a mini 'domain' of the Zapolarny Palace, only to aim an ice spear at the centre and shatter it.

Usually though he shapes ice to look like giant narwhals which are used as projectiles against Hilichurls.

Ajax loves his family, he really does. However, what hurts the most is just as he's found his footing and made plans to live abroad, his father decides the future for him.

There is an ache, an empty feeling. It's the same when his parents and siblings look at him with worry and fear. Ajax can't just not enlist, can't defy his father, not if he wants to keep the carefully crafted illusion of peace that was rebuilt.

'I don't want to go...' Those are words that remain unspoken. A bitter lump, that remains in the back of Ajax's throat as he swallows back the tears and his weaknesses disappears.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Among most things Ajax doesn't want to be in a crowd of thousands as one of the new recruits. He could be at home napping, or a myriad of other things.

This entire training camp regiment stuff is boring and there are so many rules, regulations, and protocols to follow. But that's to be expected when it comes to the Fatui. Rules and regulations, hierarchy and protocol, it's all bullshit.

The only highlight of Ajax's day is the letter his mother sent. Apparently, Teucer had a good birthday, all of his siblings were there except for Ajax of course.

If Ajax closes his eyes and inhales, he can imagine the scent of his mother's homemade cooking. The letter itself is full of warmth and love. The ink and the paper smell faintly of home.

Ajax was just a lowly grunt in the army and the lowest on the chain of command. That's how he intended the situation to stay, all the while efforts were made to avoid drawing any unwanted attention.

All he has to do is complete his service than he can return home, but that's not easier said than done.

Truly Ajax didn't need nor want any trouble, but then again there's always that certain type of person. A troublemaker or a ruffian that picks on the little guy.

In all honesty Ajax isn't exactly the smallest soldier there, but he was one of the newest and youngest. It didn't take long for some of the senior recruits to take notice.

It's almost as if some higher entity wants Ajax to suffer and it's not like that's out of the realm of possibilities. Teyvat is home to actual gods after all.

So what did Ajax do? Well, he beat the crap out of said ruffian who tried to pick a fight with him. The guy had it coming. Then the asshole had the nerve to bring along his friends for round two.

Hence the current situation. A fight broke out among the recruits, Ajax being in the centre of it.

The only one left standing in the end is Ajax himself. The other recruits are scattered across the training grounds, most unconscious and the others are injured.

"That's enough." A voice echoes across the courtyard. The words are soft spoken yet carry a heavy weight. Apparently, the old cock didn't feel the need to step in until last moment. "Those that are able stand help those who are unconscious to the infirmary. Those who can't get there themselves are also to be assisted.

No one questions the orders and they're promptly obeyed. The soldiers scatter, leaving Ajax alone in the middle of the courtyard.

Unfortunately, there was a Harbinger watching. He's been hovering around for weeks like a blood thirsty rooster.

Ajax can't help the sigh that escapes him. Of all the higher ups to step in it had to be that guy. Ignoring the blood and dirt clinging to his skin and uniform Ajax turns his attention to the man in front of him.

'Fuck!' Ajax internally curses and wonders what he did to deserve this. Damn his rotten luck. 

If only he had let himself get beat up by the other recruits. Yet it's one of those habits ingrained into him from the Abyss, fight back with every ounce of strength, even if it's futile. The only way to survive is to win.

"You are quite something," The Harbinger says. His eyes are like chips of ice as they rake over Ajax. It's a gaze that could make a lesser man squirm and feel small.

Pulcinella is this fatherly looking old guy with pointed ears, a white moustache, and a large nose. He has this goofy hat but there's authority behind his words.

The Harbinger is a bit too looming and Ajax wants to take a step back. This isn't the first time they've met and the scrutiny he receives makes Ajax want to spontaneously combust, not that he does.

"How would you like to join my division, young man?" Pulcinella smiles.

'No thank you, I'd rather not.' Ajax can't exactly say that out loud. "Uh... That would be nice but—"

"Wonderful! We'll have a proper discussion about the formalities later."

'Wait, what?' Ajax is so confused.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

The following is an excerpt from one of Pulcinella's reports.

'I have no words to describe the power that the boy holds, but it's not the strength of his blows. Rather it's the ferocity and passion. He is a force to be reckoned with.

His body is tainted with vestiges of the Abyss. Though, his heart is like an ocean of ice, there is little absolution to be found in those eyes. I̶n̶s̶t̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶u̶r̶a̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶i̶m̶i̶l̶a̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶c̶h̶o̶n̶.̶

The Tsaritsa has already technically given the boy her blessing due to the Cryo Vision on his person. I have no doubts that she will soon ask him to join our ranks as a Harbinger.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Ajax shadows Pulcinella in his daily duties and it's pretty boring. Mostly because Ajax has no desire to be in the Fatui and just wants to return home.

Paperwork this, paperwork that, so many meetings, and more meetings. Then there's ruthless physical training, and not the fun kind of training.

The other recruits have a tendency to avoid him and whisper among themselves. Good for them, the last thing Ajax wants is to get buddy-buddy with a bunch of Fatui.

He's been given a uniform and a mask. The uniform is fine and all, but the mask is ridiculous. Time passes, some days Ajax simply goes through the motions.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

On one particular cold winter night the Knave and some of her children from the House of the Hearth had a meeting with the rooster's ensemble. By proxy Pulcinella's newest underling was there as well.

Lyney, was on edge but also intrigued, his worries though we're hidden behind a mask of easygoing clam.

Even though the room was kept warm by a fire place, the air still had an icy chill. The temperature wasn't the only coldness present in the room.

The atmosphere was tense, no one dared to speak or move a muscle.

"Can we just get this show on the road? I have paperwork and sleep that I need to catch up on." The ginger spoke, breaking the silence. "Plus isn't this a meeting behind two Harbingers, I don't see the point of me being here."

"Patience, patience. All will be revealed." Pulcinella lightly reprimanded.

The Knave cleared her throat and started to speak. "First off, congratulations are in order."

"Congratulations?" The ginger looked unimpressed.

Lyney, got the impression that the other teen didn't care for idle chit chat. Pulcinella's underling was dangerous and the air around him was unsettling.

Yet other than his siblings that consisted of Lynette, and Freminet there were so few people his age around. Perhaps the two of them could become good acquaintances.

Also besides Father, Pulcinella was probably the kindest Harbinger but at the end of the day the rooster was still a politician. Lyney had prior expectations of their personalities to rely on. Hence out of everyone there the ginger was the most intriguing, even though it was clear the teen wanted to be elsewhere.

"Yes, congratulations." The Knave repeated. "Congrats on becoming the 11th Harbinger." Father gave a deadpan answer.

"Seriously? That's a bit sudden, I didn't even apply for the position."

"The inauguration isn't for another few months but that's why you've been made aware now." Pulcinella added.

"Huh.. So this is what a promotion looks like." The ginger sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

For Ajax the entire situation was a drag and he didn't know how to feel. In that meeting room him and Lyney had to be the only two normal people.

Not that Ajax had any idea who Lyney was. Maybe the guy was just some nameless extra that never was mentioned in Genshin Impact. Regardless the meeting was adjourned, good riddance!

Then it was back to work, or something like that. Paperwork and meetings are the bane of his existence.

Yet going along with the whims of his superiors is his best chance at survival. That doesn't make it any less irritating or tedious.

Unfortunately Ajax is in for the long haul, and he hates it. The Fatui are a pain in his ass and a thorn in his side. Not that such opinions can be made known. He'd rather be a home surrounded by his family, not playing politics and pretending to be someone he's not.

Such is life, cold, cold, cold. It's always cold, freezing even. His bones ache and the weather is relentless. Ajax would like a vacation, not that he'll get one anytime soon.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Chapter Text

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

A mirror reflects back a familiar face, though not a face that's his own (but at this point Alex has made it his). Alex, er Ajax's skin is pale and his freckles are more prominent than before. Striking blue eyes, tousled orange hair, and a smile full of sharp teeth.

The white streak in his hair is a light blue. In fact tinged the colour of Cryo energy. That can't be good, ultimately though it's proved to be a harmless aesthetic change. But seriously what the fuck is happening?

Ajax blinks. He rubs his eyes and looks into the mirror once more. He's grown a bit taller and the baby fat on his cheeks have thinned out, typical of growing up.

A good pretender is what he is. The lie he tells himself that he is Ajax has become the truth. Yet not the same person anymore, not really.

The Abyss was cruel, yet the return was even colder. Body in abyss, heart in paradise, original psyche lost to oblivion, and a new soul inserted. 'But hey, I'm keeping his name and legacy alive, so there's that.' The young man muses.

This transmigration nonsense is a drag. The role wasn't even as the protagonist but as some antagonist who is only relevant to the Liyue story quest. Thus he's a bit bitter about the whole ordeal.

'Fuck my life!' Ajax sighs while adjusting the glass frames that sit upon his nose. His eventual meeting with the Traveler and Zhongli is inevitable.

That doesn't make it any less awkward or nerve-wracking. Especially considering the former is the main character, or rather a trouble attracting magnet. While the latter is the ex-Archon of Geo that is very much not dead, and an adeptus incognito.

Ajax's troubles don't end there. If things go as they do in the original storyline then he's supposed to unleash a freaking ancient god, Osial on the harbour of Liyue. That definitely seems like terrorism.

Sure... Ajax looks like a bad guy and the gossip behind his back isn't exactly positive. From whispers of being a Harbinger's lackey, to being a battle obsessed maniac, and a plethora of other things, but really the truth is he's a homebody who loves his family and has a passion for ice fishing.

At least that's one of his long cons he thinks to fooling himself. In reality the notion that Ajax's family so easily gave him up to enlist in the Fatui leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.

As for ice fishing, Ajax hates the hobby. The fear that he'll fall back into the Abyss from after the breaking of the ice and drowning in the frozen depths is real. Nonetheless like exposure therapy he pursues the hobby anyways, to prove that it doesn't bother him.

He's a good guy if you can look past the facades, cold exterior, and a tendency for doing what it takes to survive.

A plan, a simple change in the narrative is all it will take to defy fate. To flip the script Ajax will still unseal Osial but it will be to kill the slumbering deity and put Liyue in his deb it.

It's not exactly the smartest idea but it's the only one he's got. He'll worry about the aftermath when it comes to pass. Even if things go awry better to die a hero than live long enough to be a villain.

Because really with this whole Fatui Harbinger thing? Ajax is so fucking screwed! Only in death does duty end.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

The snow falls outside of the window, and the wind howls like a wolf. The moon is full and bright, casting the room in silver.

The night sky is clear and the stars are twinkling. A beautiful view, a sight to behold, it's the perfect setting for a date.

However, it's not the romantic evening of a scattered fragment that replays in the mind. One, in which cups clink and wine glasses are raised in toast. Two, where a man's gaze lingers longer than necessary. Three, where a normally cold companion returns a warm smile offered in return.

Xiansheng, a title once spoken with fondness is now but a lament. Ajax doesn't think of Yanwang Dijun (another title for Xiansheng) but Alexei does in dreams.

In the land of reality there's no friendly spar. No witty banter and teasing. No lingering touches and warm eyes. No elaborate meals shared between the two. No meaningful conversations and no heartfelt words of encouragement.

Just a couple of Fatui in a dimly lit office. Really Ajax would liken his current predicament to being pestered by a younger sibling.

Ajax's back is against a wall and a knife is pressed against his throat. The blade is cool against his skin, but the hand that's gripping his shoulder is small. Sure he's in an uncomfortable position but isn't exactly in a rush to change that.

"No hard feelings but Father wanted me to test your skills. Sorry if I hurt you, Tartaglia." The guy says, and the tone is friendly, light, and a tad bit mischievous.

"Tartaglia, huh?" Ajax hums, as he studies the boy in front of him. "Might be a little too soon for that, the formal inauguration hasn't happened yet."

It takes a moment to place a face to a person but eventually Ajax recognizes the younger boy. Still what was his name again? Linen, Layne, Lynn... Oh right, Lyney. One of the snarky Knave's kid.

Arlecchino's protege is obsessed with magic tricks. The sleight of hand and illusionist acts are flashy but the underlying deception makes Ajax want to yawn.

He's shorter than Ajax, his features are softer, and the guy's hair is an ash blonde. Though the tear drop mark under his eye gives off the impression of a dramatic flair for the theatrics.

"That's true, but you might as well be a Harbinger in all but name."

"Fair enough." Ajax concedes. "Anyways, I'm not sure how you want me to respond to this whole ambush thing but it's about time you take the knife away."

"The show isn't over until some of your tricks are revealed! Don't think you're getting off so easy, Tartaglia." Lyney's smile is sharp and the blade is pushed deeper into his skin.

The nick is shallow, not enough to bleed yet it stings a little. Ajax doesn't wince, he's been through worse. "I warned you."

Before the other boy can react Ajax grabs the offending arm and twists it behind his back. Lyney's face hits the wall and the knife falls to the floor.

"What was that about showing off some of my tricks?" Ajax taunts and holds the other teen in a vice like grip. Ice crawls along the wall and the room drops a few degrees.

Lyney's eyes are wide and his heart is racing, a look of genuine fear crosses his face.

"Let our brother go!" Two voices cry out in unison.

Ah yes, the other notable figures of Arlecchino's little family. They've finally come to their brother's rescue. Wouldn't it be nice to have siblings who genuinely care like that even when the going gets tough, Ajax thinks a bit sarcastically.

"Lynette and Freminet." He addresses the two teens. "I don't have any quarrel with either of you, however, I would appreciate it if you'd come get your black cat." Ajax lets the teen go, and he stumbles.

"Haha, yes good show." Lyney concedes.

"Are you alright?" Freminet, the blonde boy , asks.

"Of course, nothing a great magician can't handle. Just another trick up my sleeve!" Lyney says while dusting off his capelet and fixing his askew hat.

"If you say so." Lynette, the girl with feline features simply sighs.

"Please just get out." Ajax requests and the trio takes their leave. The ginger groans and sinks into a chair.

That was exhausting. Dealing with people and the ordeal of being known is mortifying. Maybe a nap is needed.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Where do people go when they sleep? The realm of the unconscious is an interesting concept. In a place where the waking world doesn't exist, to rest and relax, or to relive old memories.

Perhaps the past is not always something a person wants to revisit, even subconsciously. Some memories are better off left buried and forgotten.

As above as below. Alexei loathes the Heavenly Principles as hates the Abyss. To burn away the old world... Now that is a forlorn dream.

The mind is a fickle thing, and it tends to run rampant. Inner reflection beguiles wisdom as the jungle that is the human mind is an enigma.

Meanwhile love is oxymoron. The type of delusion that upon shouldering the cold turns warm, or maybe that's just the effects of hyperthermia.

Aelexi is a good liar. He's been lying to himself and others for a while. The lies are woven, the truth is concealed, the heart is a cage, and the mind is a prison.

Nothing last forever, yet some things are eternal. A dream is but a fantasy. It's fleeting and intangible. One, two, three. Breath in, breath out. Four, five, six. Count the seconds and let the mind wander. Seven...

The Seven... Blessed with divinity and an abundance of elemental energy. Their power is limited and their reach is bound by borders. For the Abyss is where the influence of the heavens does not reach.

An Archon's existence is ephemeral, fleeting. Alexei thinks of Decarabian gone with the wind, Makoto a storm dispersed, Rukkhadevata a withered flower, Egeria the river dried, Xbalanque a flame snuffed out, and himself melted down.

If Alexei was once pure clean snow the vestiges of the Abyss taint him to become akin to black ice. A shadow of his former self, that which is unseen unless a light reflects a glaze of ice barely there.

Then there's Xiansheng... Alexei could never forget Xiansheng, no Morax. A companion that's ingrained into the soul. An existence that's as steady as a mountain, a person that is immovable. Perhaps Teyvat forgets but Morax was a Sovereign before his tenure as an Archon.

Relinquishing the Geo Gnosis is nothing if the element of Geo is the foundation of Morax's power regardless of the Heavenly Principles. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, winter is cometh.

Alexei remembers and will keep the memories close to his heart. A contract between them has yet to be fulfilled.

Digressing, wisdom is usually logically cold while the domain of love is comfortingly kind but in the land of Teyvat that's not the case. One thing for sure the head and the heart are often at odds with one another. Regardless Alexei never had any personal quarrels with Rukkhadevata.

Yet here he is, a dream that's a memory. He's reliving his own past like a bad movie. The forest is thick, the canopy is dark, and the shadows are long. The foliage is lush and the air is humid.

Khaenri'ah lies beneath Sumeru, Alexei might as well be marching off to his death, truly he doesn't want to go but if not him, then who else? Somebody had to do it…

When the truth offends, we lie and lie until we can no longer remember it is even there, but it is still there. Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is paid.

Rukkhadevata was kind, too kind. That day she stood in Alexei 's path and spoke her piece, her words were as kind as her nature. However, she was tired, oh so exhausted from stretching herself thin. "What of the people you're leaving behind?"

Alexei had an answer ready. "They will understand." He had said.

"Will they?! What of your promise to Morax? What of the future? Is it fair to condemn yourself to holding back the Abyss? Do you even know what that means?" Rukkhadevata pleaded.

"Only in death does duty end." Alexei was resolute. He smiled like he meant it. "Have you not done the same in your conviction to hold back the spread of Forbidden Knowledge?"

"How dare you, you don't get to lecture me on what needs to be done!!" The Dendro Archon was holding back her tears. "This is different, you will die. Don't go. Please, don't do this."

"So kind and yet your kindness blinds you ." Alexei had pointed out. "For someone so wise you should know why I'm doing this. My love is selfish and I do this not out of altruism but a desire to protect Xiansheng."

"Morax is strong enough to look after himself, he doesn't need you." Rukkhadevata protested.

"It's not a matter of him needing me I'll be gone anyway, but a matter of wanting him to be safe and happy." Alexei sighed. "Besides better to have loved than lost than not to have loved at all. "

"So that's how it is.. You'll just sacrifice yourself." The Dendro Archon looked defeated, tired, and resigned.

"An ego death of sorts awaits you as well, eventually you won't be able to maintain your current form." Alexei had the gall to say.

"You're ironically cold, Alexei. Sure you speak of the ship of Theseus paradox, a ship made from the remains of a previous one, if parts are replaced over time is the ship still the same ship? Your analogy is flawed. While I won't be my successor, she will still have been me." Rukkhadevata frowned.

"So you keep reminding me." The other replied. "In the end it's all the same."

"Fine." The Dendro Archon conceded. "I won't stand in your way, but don't say I didn't warn you. I'll hope for your success and I wish you well."

" I'll miss you. " Alexei had admitted. "Take care of yourself and have a cup of tea with Xiansheng sometime, will you? I have a feeling he'll be lonely once I'm gone."

"You should have at least told him how you felt! You fool! Oh, the two of you are so infuriating!" Rukkhadevata huffed and shook her head.

"I'd rather not burden him with unnecessary feelings, if I die then that's that, but if I don't then..." Alexei shrugged and laughed a bitter laugh. "It doesn't matter."

"Don't die, please."

"I'll try my best."

"Liar."

"Well, you know how it goes, the more you lie the worse the truth hurts. So in a way that makes the truth more believable."

"You're such a dork, you idiot." Rukkhadevata had given Alexei a hug. She had been shaking and tears were streaming down her face.

"Прощание, Buer, see you on the other side." Alexei returned the gesture and patted her back.

"Oh, Forneus no. There is no other side." The dream of course ends there. All dreams end when the dreamer dies and wakes up.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Well not quite... A dream within a dream is the dilemma at hand. No Foul Legacy, the abyssal taint is something else entirely. For now such power is not in sight, rather there is a normal human with normal dreams, what a novelty.

An iceberg of the soul stays afloat even in a sea that is primordial. Though it may melt, the sun may shine, the water may rise, and the waves may crash the ice is never truly gone.

Until a man is devoured by a whale. You are what you eat, so the saying goes.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Ajax had a bad dream, as if that's new. Yet lethargically sleep is a distraction from the harsh realities of the waking world.

Although from waking up from an awkward sleeping position his back is sore, his neck is stiff, and he's too hot. Ajax rubs the sleep out of his eyes and stretches, the movement causes the blanket that was covering him to fall.

Huh, what? Why is there a blanket? Where is he anyways? Oh, right the Fatui Headquarters. This is a Fatui office, one of the many rooms for business dealings and the like.

"Finally awake I see." That voice. Pulcinella has a tray of tea and some snacks. "You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to disturb you."

Ajax snaps his head towards the direction of the sound and nearly falls out of the chair.

"Easy there." The old man chuckles.

"Uhh.. I'm fine. Sorry still waking up." Ajax is embarrassed. Sure he doesn't remember falling asleep but he's definitely not sorry about the nap. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here to see how your paperwork is going. Plus I heard that one of Arlecchino's children came by for a visit." Pulcinella explains.

"Oh that, yeah. They just wanted to test my skills, I didn't even fight them." Ajax says. "They left and I took a nap. Nothing major."

"Well, I'm glad you're okay." The old man smiles warmly. The rooster Harbinger is the type of person to kill somebody with kindness. "Tea is the perfect beverage on a cold night."

"I see." Ajax says nonchalantly, accepting the cup and a few snacks. Of course nothing is ever given for free. There's always a catch.

"Have you ever heard of the Wise Doctor?" Pulcinella asks out of the blue. "Due to your unique circumstances the Tsaritsa wants Il Dottore to give you a check up, nothing serious, just a basic medical exam."

Ajax pauses. Not paying attention, the warm tea he was sipping at is frozen solid as a result of his accidental use of Cryo.

Dottore, is part of a list of people that Ajax does not want to associate with. Though his dislike for the doctor isn't necessarily personal.

It's more so due to the fact that Dottore has a habit of performing human experiments on people. The whole mad scientist bit with different versions of himself walking around is a bit creepy.

"I have no objections." Ajax says slowly, carefully choosing his words.

"Excellent! The examination will be scheduled for later this week. Now finish your tea, it's not good to waste."

"Yeah, yeah."

Pulcinella stays for a little while and the two have a 'friendly' chat.

After the Harbinger leaves, Ajax lets out a sigh. Fuck the Fatui, fuck his life, and fuck everything. Maybe he was fucked from the start.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

The bowels of the Zapolyarny Palace is where Il Dottore has one of his labs. A place of sterile bleakness and an overwhelming sense of unease. It's the type of place where you'd have nightmares about being strapped down and having organs extracted while you're still alive and conscious.

That's not an exaggeration either. The rumours surrounding the eccentric doctor are plentiful with truth.

So when Ajax steps foot into the lab, it takes all his willpower not to bolt out the door. He doesn't run but his footsteps are quick.

Eyeballs in jars, mechanical body parts, a myriad of tools for surgery and experimentation, and a variety of other oddities and gizmos fill the shelves and worktables. One gaudy lampshade standing with arms crossed...

Ajax blinks and stares. No, no, no. The thing has a face and is glaring right back at him. A Hat Guy, a puppet so life like the way it moves passes as a human.

Realization hits Ajax like a bucket of ice cold water. This is Scaramouche or Kabukimono, a puppet, the Balladeer. Knowing the dude's tragic backstory makes his plight somewhat sympathetic.

However, Scaramouche's desire to have a heart of his own is not something Ajax can understand. With a heart like an ocean of ice there is a depth of pain and the chill of loneliness. Love is a cage and it's easier to not feel anything.

People dig their graves with their own knives. Someone so prickly and not selfaware like Scaramouche is bound to get stung. Ajax sees no point in offering a hand, for he is selfish and cold, not kind as R̶u̶k̶k̶a̶h̶a̶d̶e̶v̶a̶t̶a̶ was.

The Traveler and Kusanali will have to bring wisdom to an individual wrought with delusions. Ajax has more important things to worry about.

A scoff of irritation comes from the doll. "What are you doing here, peon?"

"I'm here to see the Doctor." Ajax states flatly. "That's all you need to know."

Scaramouche gives him a once over and snorts. "You think you can waltz in here and demand to see Dottore? You're not even worth his time. Turn around and leave."

Ajax raises an eyebrow, his expression is blank and his tone is dry. "I'd be more than happy to, however, the Tsaritsa ordered me here. So I can't exactly walk away, now can I?"

The puppet falls silent at the mention of the Tsaritsa's name. He continues to regard Ajax with a frown but there's a flicker of uncertainty in its eyes.

"I see you've made yourself acquainted with our soon to be newest member." Il Dottore muses as he approaches, slinking out of the shadows.

What segment of the Doctor could this be? No matter, it's not as if any of the segments are any different than the other. Each has its own quirk but they're all the same, a man with a thirst for knowledge and no qualms with using others to sate his curiosity.

Ajax isn't surprised that Dottore knows who he is. The former is not exactly subtle and the Tsaritsa probably has already briefed the majority of Harbingers about what is to come.

"Now, now, let's make haste." The Doctor hums. "Time waits for no one."

Ajax can hear the eye roll in Scaramouche's voice. "Whatever. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Il Dottore doesn't speak much as he does a basic checkup. Everything is fine, everything is normal on the surface, and Ajax has the health of an 18-something-year-old adult.

"Interesting, fascinating." Il Dottore mumbles. " It seems the Abyss has done quite a number on your physicality, but there's nothing out of the ordinary. Your heart rate is normal, blood pressure is within the healthy range, and your vitals are in tiptop shape. ."

Ajax feels sick. His skin crawls and he's tense, his stomach is in knots. He's not sure what the doctor's talking about, he's not sure he wants to know.

"Is that it?" Ajax asks. "If so, can I go now?"

"Not quite." Dottore replies. "Your physical is complete, however, we still have the matter of a few other tests."

"Of course you do." Ajax mutters. He's not looking forward to what is about to happen.

"I'm glad you're willing to comply." Dottore smiles and Ajax knows that the Doctor isn't pleased for his sake. "You're quite valuable after all."

Ajax doesn't react. The last thing he wants to do is show fear or apprehension. If the Doctor can see him squirm, then that's an opening for the bastard to pry deeper.

Still to say the medical exam is uncomfortable would be an understatement. For part of it he was awake but sedated and for the rest while unconscious it was a blur.

"I'll get to the point." Il Dottore, says. "There's something peculiar about your nature that is contradictory to the laws of this world. Both an outlander and a resident. It's all so oxymoronically fascinating."

"Is it now?" Ajax remarks sarcastically. "Do enlighten me. If you're so keen on doing an autopsy, just go ahead and cut me open."

"Her Majesty insisted on you remaining in once piece." Dottore frowns. "She didn't say anything about not slicing open a limb or two. To which you bleed Light-less fluid instead of blood, so you have that going for you."

This is a new development that leaves Ajax disassociating and his brain is in a loop. His mind is reeling and he can't form a coherent sentence. "You're joking." He is numb, his voice is hollow.

The last time Ajax bleed the colour was red. Although perhaps that was some time ago. Especially considering he's gotten quite adept at fighting that it isn't often another's weapon pierces his flesh.

"I never jest. That is Pierro's specialty. I am a man of science and my findings are absolute." Il Dottore says. "It's true. You can confirm for yourself if you're not convinced."

Ajax does. He's shaking and the wound is healing. His hand is covered in a viscous, sticky, astral ichor. It's not blood, or rather human blood and he wants to throw up.

"I think we're done for today." The Doctor hums and his tone is pleasant. "I'll send the medical report to the Tsaritsa."

The room is spinning and Ajax can't think. All he can do is stare blankly, his hands haven't stopped shaking and the self inflicted wound is no more.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

A certain revelation changes nothing. Sure it leaves him unsettled and he's nauseous. Yet in the grand scheme of things the sun will keep rising and he's not going to stop living.

What can Ajax do besides soldier on, his tenacity has carried him this far. He's survived and he'll survive and live the best he can.

Crowds have never been his favourite, there's something about the noise that puts him on edge. He's fine with the occasional small gathering but a mob of people is not his idea of fun.

The inauguration ceremony is a huge event. All the Harbingers, a bunch of social elites, and even the Tsaritsa herself are present. Ajax is not ready to face the music, yet he doesn't have a choice. He's expected to wear his finest clothes and look presentable.

Fancy suits and dresses, jewellery and the smell of high-class cologne and perfume fill the air. Waltzing music plays and the chatter is lively.

The ballroom is decorated lavishly, and it's a sight to behold. A large chandelier hangs from the ceiling and the floor is polished marble. The walls are plastered with stained glass murals of the Tsaritsa and the architecture is beautiful.

Ajax has to keep reminding himself to breathe. He's wearing a stuffy jacket and the shirt underneath is stiff. The tie around his neck is a noose and the cufflinks are constricting.

He's also not alone, which is comforting and terrifying at the same time. Pulcinella and Arlecchino are accompanying him. The three of them are mingling, talking business, and being polite. Feigned smiles, empty pleasantries, and the occasional barbed compliment are the norm.

Ajax has learned to put on a mask. He can laugh and smile without feeling. It's easier to lie and pretend he doesn't have feelings than to be hurt.

It's a game of chess, everyone is waiting for their turn to strike. There's an atmosphere of anticipation, the calm before the storm.

The Tsaritsa is the centre of the room. Attention falls upon her and the crowd quiets. She is ethereal and regal, an elegant ruler. For a moment he has a fleeting thought that contradicts the present, an image of the Tsaritsa as just a girl.

Eventually the room falls silent. Ten figures gather at the base of the throne. A line of figures donned in masks, their expressions hidden from view. The crowd is enraptured by the spectacle, watching, waiting.

"We have gathered here today to witness the initiation of a new Harbinger." The Tsaritsa proclaims. "Let the eleventh Harbinger come forth and introduce himself."

Ajax steps forward, his footsteps are heavy. He's a lamb to the slaughter and this is a dance. His mask is on and his grin is wide, he is a narwhal in wolf 's clothing.

Words are spoken yet Ajax's mind is elsewhere that he doesn't register the conversation. He can hear his pulse and the sound of static. His ears are ringing and the words he's saying are a blur.

A Hydro Delusion is given to him. The crowd is watching and the weight of their gazes are like daggers. His heart is beating fast, his thoughts are jumbled. Applause, the clapping is deafening.

Ajax's gaze lingers on the Tsaritsa's. There is an odd warmth in her eyes, a flicker of tenderness. It's gone before he can process what he saw, for the Tsaritsa's expression is impassive.

It's like a dream and the next few moments are a daze. The ceremony goes by fast and it's not until later when he's alone does it fully hit him. He's an actual Harbinger, Tartaglia– alias Childe.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Then comes more grunt work. Of course there's always more paperwork. Though there's a few missions that involve debt collection, assassination, and the occasional sabotage.

His newfound position grants him a bit of power. He can send out subordinates to do the dirty work while he does something else. Like sleeping.

Although Ajax's homeland is deceivingly beautiful from snowy landscapes to bright cathedrals, people still freeze to death in the cold. As such a change in scenery is likely to be therapeutic.

But finally good riddance! Ajax is off to Liyue which he finds relief in, especially considering how much of an icy wasteland Snezhnaya is.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-