Work Text:
Jumin Han was nothing less than a gentleman; and he became even more so once you began a romantic relationship with him. He would always put you first, over his job, over the RFA, over Elizabeth III (rarely though), and over his own needs sometimes. He would compliment your laugh- even if you were snorting or cackling like a witch. He would bring you the sweetest, most thoughtful presents that have you smiling every time you look at it. He would tell you things that made your cheeks burn. He would always make sure you were comfortable; whether it be meeting his father properly for the first time or something simple, like a kiss.
Then, one day, things started to change. For the last four months of your relationship, he’s been distant with you. Work seemed to always run into overtime and you always seemed to be up waiting for him. Your talks with him were always minimal and each one would end with a bitter fight. His present’s nowadays were little, not that you minded, you’d much rather receive no gifts from him if you had the choice, but now they were meaningless and had no heart put into them like they used to have. You no longer felt comfortable around him.
One thing you knew for sure was how you were feeling. Forgotten. Unloved. And depressed. Usually, you’d be able to busy yourself with simple hobbies you had picked up on a whim; ranging from trying to knit a pair of socks to playing video games (occasionally meeting Yoosung in the LOLOL world). Unfortunately, these distractions were always temporary and would wear off the moment you saw it was 1 in the morning, and Jumin still wasn’t home.
Tonight happened to be one of those nights. The digital clock on the nightstand by the bed struck 3 a.m. A new record. You cuddled the blankets closer to your body and felt the doubts creep into your mind. Bad thoughts always seem to plague your brain and make you think up ridiculous scenarios during these early mornings when you would wait for him. Him cheating on you seemed to always crawl back. You convinced yourself that he wouldn’t still be with you if he was cheating. He was such a straightforward person, it seemed uncharacteristic for him to be cheating. If he did though, he would’ve ended your relationship the moment he found this other person.
Before you could really delve into why you couldn’t be wrong, the door opened. You picked up your head and turned to look at Jumin. His face seemed tense, but once he saw you were up, he relaxed.
“Did I wake you?” He asks as he loosens his tie from around his neck.
“No. I can’t sleep.” You admit as you watch him set his briefcase on the kitchen counter. He peels off his suit jacket and unbuttons a few buttons of his shirt, revealing his white undershirt, before letting out a sigh.
“My father is persistent. I have to finish this project by the end of this week.” Jumin vents to you, making your doubts disappear. It was just work. Jumin was just busy with his work. Cheating was such a far-fetched idea that you felt guilty for even thinking it.
“I’m sorry it’s so stressful at work, Jumin.” You comfort as he strides over to his dresser by the floor to ceiling windows that look out over the city. He tossed his tie and button-up shirt into the dirty hamper before grabbing some pajamas.
“It’s not your fault (M/C).” He says as he approaches you at the bed. He leans over you and presses his lips to your forehead, making you smile. “I’m gonna hop into the shower. Try and get some rest.” He said before running his hand through your hair. You nod your head and watch him walk towards the bathroom, just barely catching sight of a scratch scraping down the back of his neck, continuing under the white shirt.
----
You pretended to be asleep when you heard the water turn off. Your heart rate still hadn’t seemed to calm down after seeing the scratch on the back of his neck. It could be that. Just a scratch. And that was a high possibility. But, something in you was telling you it was more. This could be a case of your fears taking over your sense of judgment and you were making a big deal out of nothing, but you couldn’t stop it.
You felt the bed dip behind you as Jumin climbed into bed. He let out a long sigh before it went quiet. He didn’t move for a few minutes and after what seemed like hours, you heard his breathing even out. It was deep and the rhythm of his breaths would usually comfort you, but now, with your thoughts scrambled and your doubts resurfacing, it did nothing. You turned onto your other side carefully, not wanting to wake Jumin up with your movements, and studied his sleeping form.
He was truly the man you fell in love with; with his straight posture and his hands folded on his abdomen neatly. His pajamas were always ironed and devoid of any wrinkles, even as he was laying down, you couldn’t spot one thing wrong with his pajamas; besides his slightly crooked collar. You moved your hand out towards his collar and flattened out the small crease you had seen. Your eyes traveled to his neck and the small purple bruise that just peeked out from under the collar. You remember the scratch you saw on the back of his neck and your stomach flipped.
You felt sick.
You rushed out of the bed and ran towards the bathroom, barely shutting the door behind you before puking up the dinner you were supposed to eat with Jumin.
“Y/n?” Jumin called out to you as he knocked on the door. You looked towards the door and wiped the spit/vomit mixture from the corner of your mouth. The scratch on his back and the hickey on his neck. Was he having sex with someone else? Was he really cheating on you?
“I-I’m fine Jumin. Just go back to bed.” You stutter out while flushing the toilet. You closed the toilet seat and laid your arms on top of it, resting your head on your arms to try and calm your spinning head.
“Did you just puke? Are you sure you’re okay?” Jumin asks.
“I’m not feeling so well. So you shouldn’t come near me. I don’t want to get you sick.” You lie while biting the inside of your cheek. Jumin pauses, and you know he can’t disregard the chance that he might get sick himself if he were to help.
“I’ll call a doctor-”
“Jumin, it’s fine. It’s late enough. Just go back to sleep and I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.” You snap at him. The realization of what you saw tonight finally pushes you slightly over the edge.
“Okay. I’ll call one in the morning before I leave for work.” You finally heard him walk away and the bed creaked as he climbed back in. A part of you only hurt more because of how fast he gave up. The Jumin you fell in love with wouldn’t have cared if he would’ve gotten sick. He hated it when you felt sick and would do anything to make sure you were feeling better. His caring and selflessness only made you love him even more. Now, he didn’t even care.
You let a few silent tears fall before leaning back against the tub, your head falling into your hands.
He really was cheating on you, wasn’t he?
----
You woke up in the guest bedroom, your eyes heavy and your head pounding. You had made your way to the guest room in the early hours of the morning before Jumin stirred awake to head into the office. You didn’t answer him when you heard him knock on your door and call your name. Nor did you get up when you heard him jiggle the locked doorknob. After the first attempt to raise you from your ‘sleep’, he gave up. Again, he barely even tried.
The moment you heard the front door close, you let your tears fall. The thought of being cheated on by someone you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with was probably the worst thing you have ever felt. So many questions were bouncing around in your head. Were you just not enough? What could’ve you done differently? Did he even really love you? You didn’t have the answers and part of you wished you would never find out. But you also wanted the truth from the man you had thought you knew inside and out. You deserved at least that.
You peeled yourself away from the bed and made your way to the connected bathroom, going to wash your face that was no doubt puffy; both from crying and the lack of sleep you got. The cold water on your face woke you up, but you still felt exhausted.
You walked back out of the bathroom and sat on the bed, contemplating your next moves. Just get up and leave the apartment? Maybe confront him at work? Wait for him to get home? Call him on the phone? You were unsure and your teary eyes and clouded head weren’t helping your decision-making process. You let your head sink in your hands and cry for a few more minutes before finally making up your mind. You need answers now.
You left the guest room and grabbed your phone from the couch where you had left it last night and searched for Jumin’s contact. You pressed his name and held the phone up to your ear as you heard it ring. You composed yourself a bit by clearing your throat, wiping your eyes, and sniffling away any more signs that you were crying. You took a deep breath and you heard the ringing stop.
“Hello? Y/n?” Jumin’s calm voice echoed in your ears before you spoke up. You wished your heart would stop racing so fast at the sound of his voice; it only made what you were about to ask so much harder.
“Hi, Jumin.” You finally greet after a short pause, unsure of how to start off.
“Are you feeling any better? I called a doctor, so they should be on their way.” Jumin said and you took a deep breath before speaking your next words.
“Are you at work?” You ask as you walk around the living room. Your tone was serious as you disregard what he had said.
“I’m stuck in traffic. Why? Did something happen?” Jumin asks, his voice sounded concerned, but you didn’t want to believe that he was actually caring about you now. It actually made you pretty angry. How could he be sleeping around with someone else but still care about you? How could he continue with this facade?
“Can you come back? I don’t want to tell you this over the phone.” You say as you move to sit down on the couch, bouncing your knee nervously.
“Is it that important? I’ve got a busy day ahead and I can’t spare any delays.” Jumin said with a sigh. You could probably imagine him rubbing the bridge of his nose; he usually did this when he was overwhelmed or fed up. After a small spot of silence, you finally speak what’s on your mind.
“Jumin, are you cheating on me?”
More silence.
You bite your lip. Why isn’t he saying anything? Why isn’t he denying it? Why isn’t he trying? You wanted him to say it wasn’t true. That the bruise on his neck was from a pen that he tapped a little too hard and that the scratch on his back was from a jagged surface that he happened to lean upon. Anything other than what you were thinking.
“Y/n, can we not do this right now?” Jumin responded with an irritated sigh. Was he being serious? You were shocked. Stood frozen and unable to breathe properly.
“You’re not denying it.” You say as your voice cracks. You wipe away the tears that started to fall. The fact that he was still dancing around the issue only says one thing.
“I’m turning around right now. We’ll talk when I get home.” Jumin says before hanging up the phone. You let the phone drop from your hand, everything started to feel numb as you realized the truth. The man you loved no longer loved you. It hurt. It hurt so bad. Every good memory you had with him came flooding into your mind. Your first kiss with him in this very apartment. Your first date at this cute little cafe. The first time you guys said 'I love you’ to each other. It hurt.
You wiped some tears away, although they didn’t stop pouring out, and stood up from the couch. Elizabeth III had made her way over to you and rubbed in your leg. You bent down and scratched her furry white head as you cried even harder.
“Why’d it have to be like this Elizabeth?” You ask and receive no response but her soft purrs. Composing yourself for what seemed like the hundredth time this morning, you stand up and walk towards the closet, pulling out a suitcase and a carry-on set; a gift from Jumin on your honeymoon. You toss the suitcases onto the bed and head to your dresser, pulling clothes out and carelessly throwing them in.
You finish the dresser quickly, while simultaneously wiping tears the entire time, and move to pack any other items that you recognized as yours. Elizabeth the III seemed to watch you walk back and forth from the living room to your bag, then from the kitchen to your bag, and finally, you moved onto the bathroom. The front door opened as you were gathering your facial cleansers and your toothbrush and you froze on the spot. You look at yourself in the mirror and see a red puffy face staring back. Swollen red eyes filled with tears was a pathetic sight to look at and here you were about to show the love of your life how much damage he has done to you. You wiped your tears and gathered your items into your arms, taking long strides over to your suitcase. You ignored Jumin watching you from the front door as you continued to pack.
“Y/n, can we please talk before you make any rash decisions.” Jumin starts as he walks towards you.
“Fine.” You say sternly, turning on your heel to face him, finally staring into his eyes for what seems like the first time in months. “Are you cheating on me, yes or no?” You ask. He doesn’t reply and instead stares blankly at your face.’ “Unbelievable.” You say while rolling your eyes, pushing past him to pack up the last of your things as he stood rigid in the living room. “Don’t bother trying to contact me. And don’t worry, I won’t go to the press or ruin your image in any way.” You bitterly snap at him as you walk towards the door, choking back tears as you realize this was really happening. Jumin really cheated on you and you were really leaving.
You pause for a moment when you reach the front door, every fiber in your body is telling you to stay. To try and work something out. But he was cheating and that was real now more than ever and it hurt more than ever. So, you turned the doorknob and left. The minute you stepped out of the penthouse it didn’t feel right. Maybe because it would be the last time you would be here. You had no intention of returning anytime soon. So, in a way, you were leaving the place you called your home for the last three years. Leaving the man you called home as well.
You made it to the end of the hallway and pressed the button to call the elevator, grabbing your hat from your bag to try and hide your identity once you left the building. You knew the paparazzi was always nearby to try and snap their latest story and you did not want to be on the cover. The elevator doors opened and you walked in, furiously pressing the close doors button to try and make this process go by faster.
“Y/n!” You heard your name being called out and saw Jumin jogging to try and catch the door before it closed on him. You feared for a moment the confrontation of facing him. To talk about it. To have him either lie straight to your face or tell you every detail of how he cheated. Both options seemed horrible. You didn’t want to know any more than you already did.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened to reveal one of the workers from the building, startling you considering you probably looked like a mess right now. You both bowed to each other simultaneously and you grabbed your suitcase and fast-walked past him, wanting to go find a hole to die in right about now. The embarrassment you were now feeling was getting to your head; you kept thinking that everyone was staring at you and whispering about you. 'Why are they crying?’ 'They look like they just got dumped.’ 'Are they coming down from a bad trip or something?’ Any and all irrational thoughts crowded your mind and you knew you had to get out of there fast.
“I’m sorry, Y/n, Jumin has asked me to stop you.” A man, who you recognize to be one of Jumin’s drivers, says as he makes his way toward you.
“Tell him to fuck off. Thanks.” You respond as you try to move around him.
“He told me to not let you leave the building under any circumstances. I’m sorry.” He says with a guilty look on his face. You glare at the man before completely ignoring what he had just said and walk past him, knowing he wouldn’t do anything besides babble incoherently to try and get you to stop; which is exactly what he did.
You make your way out of the building and pull out your phone as you hear the man’s blabbering start to fade out. Ignoring him still, you call a close friend, hoping they would be available to pick you up somewhere nearby. The phone rang and rang as you dragged your suitcase along behind you and finally it went to voicemail. You hung up and tried again, hoping maybe they would realize you were in a dire situation. The second call went to voicemail as well and you resorted to spamming them with texts.
As you were spamming, you heard your name being called by an all too familiar voice, causing you to walk faster. The angry tears started to form again as you felt his hand grab your wrist. He stops you in your tracks, but you refuse to turn around and look at him.
“Y/n, please just wait so I can explain.” He pleads as he moves in front of you to try and look into your eyes. You furrowed your brows in anger before finally looking at him.
“Explain what? There’s nothing left for you to explain! You fucked another girl and lied to me about it!” You reply back as your voices start to rise. You noticed a few people looking over at you two and your embarrassment crept back into your stomach, twisting and turning it till you felt sick. “Just leave me alone, Jumin.” You finish the conversation and pull your hand out of his grasp. You take one last look at him and see the devastated and heartbroken look on his face. A part of you is angry. He has no right to be heartbroken; no right to be sad. He knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew the consequences, and he knew how you would react- he knows you better than anyone. The worst part was how you wanted to just hold him in your arms till he looked happy again. To forgive him because you know after that he’ll smile and tell you how much he loves you. How much he cherishes you and needs you.
You look away from him and hit his shoulder with your own as you bump past him.
----
It’s been three weeks since you walked out of Jumin’s life. Three weeks since you found out what a terrible husband Jumin was to you. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. How broken and disappointed you looked when he last saw your face as you walked away from him. How betrayed and deceived you sounded over the phone as he recalled that bitter conversation. Where did everything go wrong?
Why did he even cheat in the first place? He could’ve kept telling himself the same reasons he would tell himself every time he met that woman, but now it just sounded like lame pathetic excuses. And now he realizes he was in the wrong. It only took everything to fall apart for him to realize this and damn did he regret everything. He couldn’t get the guilt out of his head no matter how many hours he worked, how many times he pampered Elizabeth III with frivolous things, and no matter how many sleepless and drunken nights. He was truly a mess and he deserves every ounce of this torture.
As he let himself take another generous sip of his wine he checked the time on his phone. It was 1:44 a.m. He sighed and poured the last of the wine into his glass and set the empty bottle on the table. Elizabeth jumped onto the couch and made her way onto her owner’s lap, meowing curiously at him. He smiled slightly and started to pet her.
“You’re the only woman in my life I could never mess up with. Only because you don’t understand a word I’m saying.” Jumin says as he scratches behind her ear, causing her to purr and push her head into his hands. His thoughts traveled back to you as he took another sip of his wine. He wondered what you were doing right now. If you were just as miserable as he was. Or if you were doing great. If you had moved on with your life already. A small part of him hoped you were still not over him; as selfish as that sounds.
He downed the rest of his wine and puckered his lips together, his mind still racing with thoughts of you despite how blank and empty his facial features looked. He pulled out his phone and unlocked it, the idea of calling you surfaced and he paused. Would that be smart on his part? Probably not. His judgment wasn’t all the best in his state of mind, so he searched your contacts for your name and called. He felt like his entire body was shaking with nerves as he heard the phone ring. Would you answer? Would he know what to say to you if you did?
“Hello! This is Y/n’s voicemail! Please leave me a message after the beep!” Jumin felt sick hearing your voice, even if it was a pre-recorded vice from 5 years ago. The guilt was eating away at his insides and picking apart his sanity piece by piece.
“I-I don’t even know why I’m calling right now. It’s almost 2 in the morning and I’m a bottle of wine down tonight I- I don’t really know what I’m doing.” Jumin sighs and rubs his face with his hand and leans back into the cushions of the couch. “I miss you. I miss your smile. Your laugh. Your comforting aurora. Everything about you. I-I really messed up. I’m sorry, for everything I’ve done and all the grief I have caused you. I was selfish and self-absorbed and just- just an absolute dick to you. You might not even listen to this voicemail. Maybe you already blocked my number. Good. I don’t deserve to say all of this to you anyway. I’m sorry.” He tossed the phone beside him on the couch and sunk deeper into it. His guilt swallowed him entirely. He needed another drink.
Jumin stood up from the couch, wobbling slightly, and made his way to the kitchen to grab another bottle. His alcohol cabinet was now growing bare as another long night was in progress. As he poured another glass and took a sip, he heard a noise. He stopped his actions and set everything down, his attention completely on figuring out where the noise was coming from. As he moved closer towards the couch, he quickly realized it was only his phone ringing. Someone was calling him? For a second he hoped it was you, but immediately he dismissed the idea and grabbed his phone and answered it.
“Hello?”
“Jumin?”