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Jonny is fiddling around with his guitar,the one that he uses the most.He’s trying to make a good riff for a song.”Fuck I can’t get this right…”He mumbled,after 10 minutes of trying to make it sound nice (to his standards),he gave up,because he can’t get to the sound he wanted to.
Right after that,he looked up on YouTube to listen to some of its favorite guitarists guitar parts.He wowed at the sounds that they can create,even though he had listened to them for hundreds of times.At the same time,he felt very insecure about his ability to guitar.He also watched some fanmade videos about the best guitar parts in Radiohead’s discography,and even though he keeps hearing praise from professional music critics and hardcore fans alike.He still thinks he’s never good enough at his craft.So he just left the computer chair and flopped to his bed,the one that he and his husband Thom sleeps in.
He looks at the ceiling,his thoughts are being very intrusive.Only thinking that the reason why Thom wanted him in the band is only because of the looks.He started to break down and crying softly,tears slowly running out from his muted green/brown eyes.He curled up into a ball since he doesn’t want Thom to hear about it,the tears started to fall even more and his sniffing is though muffled,but can be heard in a distance.
Thom was walking up to the bathroom to pee,but when he walked up,he heard some sounds in the room,so he quickly peed and ran to the bedroom.He saw Jonny sobbing,but he tried to quickly act like nothing is happening,But the puffy red eyes and the bedsheets covered in tears was a dead giveaway.
“Hey love,that happened to you?” Thom said in a soft and sad voice.
“Haha,nothing Thom.Don’t worry about it,I’m alright.” Jonny said while trying to wipe the salty water off of his face.
“Jon,I’m serious,you seem not ok.You can tell me everything,I won’t judge.” Thom said in a serious tone.
Jonny explained everything,talked about his insecurities about his musical ability,Thom was already heartbroken about it.But the one that saddden him the most is “I think you only loved me for looking pretty.”
Thom decided to give Jonny a big hug while kissing his neck.”No Jon,you’re an amazing musician,your ability always impresses me every time you play it,I am very greateful every day that I could be in love with you and be playing music with you Jonathan.”
“But-“ Jonny said but Thom cut it out.”No buts,you are amazing in every way and I will kill anyone who denies that.”
Thom gave the younger boy a soft kiss in the mouth,than hugged him again,causing Jonny to fall into the bed and smile.They proceeded to have a passionate kiss on the lips while snuggling into each other’s arms.
Thom keeps whispering how great of a musician and partner is to Jonny,and made all of his worries and insecurities slowly disappear.
“I love you Thom”Jonny said.
“I love you too Jonny”Thom said.