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Carefully reviewing ongoing student paperwork Diavolo experienced a mild shock.
“Barbatos! It’s Knighty’s birthday soon.” He turned a pair of mildly reproachful eyes upon his faithful butler. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“My Lord,” said Barbatos, slightly surprised. “We haven’t really finalised a plan yet. I was thinking I’d organise a pleasant afternoon tea party for us, and Lucifer was considering booking a table at Ristorante Six.”
“Nonsense!” boomed Diavolo heartily. “That’s the kind of thing we do for everyone. I know how much Knighty means to you and to Lucifer. We need to organise something special - leave it to me. I’ve been researching human world birthdays.”
Disquieted by the happy gleam in Diavolo’s eye, Barbatos had little choice but to agree. However the first thing he was going to do was speak with Lucifer. He knew that look in his lord’s eye and he knew what usually happened when Diavolo ‘researched’ mortal activities.
It was only a matter of time before they’d have to stage an intervention.
****
“He’s insisting on holding the party in his ‘special’ garden,” said Barbatos, shaking his head. He was in the House of Lamentation discussing party arrangements with Lucifer, hoping to pinpoint problems before they arose.
They’d decided all the brothers needed to be part of this conversation. The more hands the better when it came to slowing down the Demon Lord’s enthusiasm.
“Wait!” exclaimed Asmo. “The special garden? Do you mean the Hidden Secret Sex Garden Where The Aphrodisiac Plants Grow?!”
Lucifer placed his hand on his forehead, leaning forward with his elbows on the table, his expression resigned. “Asmo, you need to stop listening to so much cafeteria gossip. There is no secret sex garden full of aphrodisiacs in the Palace.”
Barbatos thought about all the lawn flamingos, not to mention the obscene gnomes, currently present in his Lord’s favourite hidden garden space. Honestly aphrodisiac plants, no matter how illegal, would be an improvement.
“Lord Diavolo is planning a barbecue. You would be amazed at the variety of salads I have had to research to accompany all the meat dishes he wishes to cook. Also,” and here Barbatos took a deep breath, “he has bought an . . . apron.
“An . . . apron,” repeated Lucifer ominously.
As Barbatos passed the picture around, Mammon couldn’t help himself. A shout of laughter burst out as he read “You can kiss the cook but don’t touch his buns!”
“Looool, such a normie,” chuckled Levi.
Belphie grinned wickedly, snapping a quick photo with his DDD. “That’s a pretty humorously placed picture of a barbecued sausage right there.”
“Stop it all of you!” ordered Lucifer. “This is serious. We want Knighty to enjoy her birthday, not be accosted by humorously placed sausages. This is no laughing matter.”
They sobered immediately. Lucifer was right. Knighty had come to mean so much to all of them and this was for her. She deserved the best birthday celebration they could give her. Everyone agreed on that.
It was just that Diavolo’s idea of “best” might not quite match up with everyone else.
***
In the following week everyone was on their guard. There were several incidents that were happily resolved, but it certainly showed they were right to keep a close eye on the Prince and his party planning.
The day of the party dawned. Lucifer, making his best effort to impersonate a morning demon, had served Knighty breakfast in bed, wishing her the happiest of birthdays. Eventually everyone but the birthday girl headed to the Palace, Lucifer leaving strict instructions for Knighty.
“I’ll come back for you and will bring you to the Palace in time for lunch. We’re all going early to help out with the arrangements.” For a fleeting moment his face wore a concerned expression. “Lord Diavolo is organising everything and I’m sure it will be just fine.”
Knighty, who had grown quite good at reading Lucifer’s tells - and also had a fair idea of what to expect from the Prince - somehow managed to keep her giggles under control until after they’d all safely left. It was an unexpected treat to have the entire House to herself for a whole morning and she intended to spend it luxuriously relaxing in Asmo’s enormous bath.
When the brothers arrived at the Palace it was to find the merry Prince in a state of high grig and his faithful butler almost at the point of desperation.
“A casual party is all very well,” Diavolo was saying, “But I do feel it’s important to show a degree of respect. Knighty is very special after all.”
Lucifer nodded, realising that, following his lordship’s usual logic, this perfectly explained why the secret garden’s hundreds of lawn flamingos were now wearing black bow ties.
“My Lord, why don’t you take some of my brothers and finish decorating? I see there are quite a lot of balloons that still need inflating. I shall discuss with Barbatos and see what other tasks remain.”
“Excellent idea!” boomed the Prince, happily grabbing Levi, Mammon and yet another bag of balloons. “Let’s see how well you boys can blow!”
As Asmo snickered at this, Lucifer gave him a clip over the ear and headed to Barbatos for an update.
The butler had an uncharacteristic furrow between his brows. Mild in anyone else it was a sure sign of distress in the usually unruffled demon. He pulled Lucifer aside and in a hissed whisper explained the latest problem.
“Were you aware that the mortal realm languages of German and English both use the word ‘gift’?”
“Fascinating,” said Lucifer, nonplussed, before he stopped as realisation dawned. With mounting concern he asked, “A gift, in English, is a present. I am assuming it’s not the same thing in German?”
Barbatos, one hand to his forehead, shook his head. “It’s poison,” he sighed. “And of course he wanted only the best of poisons for Knighty’s birthday ‘gift’. I have managed to solve that little problem but now I’m left with . . . this and I still haven’t finished in the kitchen.”
Barbatos gestured at this , a slightly disgruntled looking nearby donkey. In front of the donkey was a large bowl full of sweets. The donkey was ignoring these entirely and nibbling on one of the ornamental plants instead.
Five brothers and one butler surveyed the donkey with differing degrees of surprise and amusement.
“Piñata?” asked Satan, having heard of the mortal tradition.
“Piñata,” confirmed Barbatos.
Lucifer sighed, taking charge “Beel put that stick down, I’m fairly certain you won’t need to stop the donkey from eating all the sweets. Asmo and Satan, you go and help Barbatos in the kitchen. You two-” and here he indicated his youngest two brothers, thrusting the bowl of sweets into Beel’s hands and giving Belphie the donkey’s lead, “- are on animal duty.”
As Lucifer headed back into the pleasant reception room just off the garden he was met with a wall of balloons.
“You may have enough now, my Lord” he suggested to what he thought was the Demon Prince.
Levi’s head popped out of the balloon pile as he pointed across the room with a grin, “He’s over there. We umm, might have got a little competitive seeing how many we could do.”
Shaking his head Lucifer grabbed the white haired tuft sticking out from the balloon mountain.
“Oi-oi-oi! Not so hard!” yelped Mammon.
“Keep an eye on things, Barbatos is in the kitchen finishing up there. I’m going to get Knighty. The Purgatory Hall crowd are due to arrive any minute so get them to give you a hand putting some of these extra balloons elsewhere. Especially Solomon, don’t let him near the kitchen OR the barbecue.”
As Diavolo proudly donned his . . . apron, Lucifer shook his head and ducked back to the House to collect the birthday girl. Things were manageable, safe for humans and more or less ready to go. Hopefully they’d stay that way for the next ten minutes till he returned.
****
When Knighty headed towards the reception room that had been decorated for her birthday she was thrilled. “The Secret Garden?” she asked Lucifer, her eyes dancing with laughter. “For me?”
Smiling at her affectionately the demon tried hard to hide his grimace as he thought of the lawn flamingos in their formalwear. “Diavolo wants you to feel at home and there are many mortal decorations already there.” Lucifer squeezed her hand as they entered the reception room. He was relieved to see that the number of balloons in the room was now at a far more reasonable level.
“You need to know just how much we all love you,” he said.
Knighty couldn’t help it, they’d all been so sweet, they’d worked so hard to make her birthday special. She smiled mistily. “Which way is the bathroom? I need a minute.”
After pointing her in the right direction, Lucifer investigated, seeing how things had gone in his absence. So far it looked promising, Diavolo and Simeon, wearing humorous aprons, were cooking the barbecue, Diavolo sending Luke back and forth to bring aluminium foil, extra sausages and importantly, more beer.
Satan and Solomon under Barbatos’ careful supervision were laying out a sumptuous buffet table groaning with dishes. It looked like everyone was keeping an eye on Solomon just in case but so far the dishes appeared excellent. The flowers decorating the buffet table had obviously benefited from Asmo’s expert hand and he was working on the final arrangement now.
Beel was finishing off his large bowl of candy that he’d taken from the “piñata” donkey and passing on helpful advice to Belphie who was tying lovely colourful bows on the donkey. The donkey was eating the ribbons and looked quite happy now that it wasn’t about to be hit with a stick.
Wandering over to the bar, confident things were finally under control, Lucifer smiled as Levi handed him a glass of demonus. Mammon, the other barman, grinned. “Where’s our guest o’ the day?”
“She’s just gone to the bathroom,” confirmed Lucifer, finally letting himself relax.
Mammon and Levi exchanged alarmed looks. “Wait, not the -”
There was a yelp in the distance.
When Lucifer arrived at the bathroom it was to see Knighty giggling, delighted, standing in the middle of an almost overwhelming mass of balloons.
“Well I guess I know where all the extra balloons went,” he sighed, “Can you get into the bathroom?”
“I’ll make it work,” she said, wading forwards, deep into the bouncy pile.
Returning to the garden, it was a magical afternoon. Knighty had duly admired the suitably dressed flamingos and been unable to hide her laughter when Diavolo had presented her with two flamingos of her own to take home.
Simeon had insisted Barbatos sit with Knighty while everyone else did the work for a change. “Pfft! Everyone knows you're one of her favourite people. Your role now is to accompany Knighty.”
The donkey was curled up under a flowering bush with Belphie, both of them fast asleep and dreaming sweetly scented dreams. There was good natured squabbling taking place near the stereo, as everyone kept sharing their favourite songs.
Diavolo, in a wonky party hat, leant sneakily out from behind a bush. “Psst! Barbatos!” he stage-whispered.
Lucifer, standing next to him sighed, but smiled indulgently on his Lord’s antics, laughing as he caught Knighty’s eye.
“Psst! We need to get the cake,” the Prince said, as Knighty, her face alight with laughter, somehow managed to pretend she didn’t notice.
After a few minutes had passed though, Knighty couldn’t help but feel concerned. Surely they should be back by now?
Heading into the reception room, she came across the three demons gathered around an extremely large and beautifully decorated cake. It was so large in fact it was on the ground, rather than on a table. If it had been placed on a table, there was a good chance it would have hit the ceiling.
Diavolo was shaking his head. “You both need to get into it. I’ve watched videos. It’s something humans do. It’s why I asked for a cake this large.”
“I’m not sure this will work,” said Lucifer cautiously. “There’s a lot of icing and cream there, we’re going to make a terrible mess.”
Diavolo’s objection was interrupted by Barbatos’ practical observation. “Whether this is in fact a human tradition or not is, I’m afraid, a moot point. Unfortunately I had no idea of your intentions for the cake, my Lord. This cake is in fact solid. Even the smallest imp would not fit inside without prior excavation.”
“Really?” exclaimed Diavolo. “I suppose that explains why it’s so heavy.”
This was too much for Knighty who couldn’t hold back the laughter. “Is this my cake? It’s beautiful.”
“I’m sorry,” apologised Diavolo. “I wanted you to have the perfect human party.”
Smiling, she reassured him, happily exchanging hugs and kisses as everyone piled into the room, having heard the rumours of cake.
“I get to spend my time with my favourite people. Nothing could be more perfect.”