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There were things that Tubbo specifically no longer cared about, one of them being his husband. Well he technically was a widower so a husband that was dead, he did his grieving and moved on. Well that was, just like how the universe planned it, he was brought back by Dream so he had his newly revived husband sitting on his couch in a house he hadn’t come to in ages, sitting with his son, his son , not theirs but his.
Micheal looked at Ranboo like they hung the stars, which in a way made sense, Tubbo would like to think that he used to look at Ranboo like that in some effect, or at least kidded himself into thinking that he did.
Tubbo had a lot of time to think about what the two of them were when Ranboo had died. He had come to terms with the fact that, Tubbo desipite wanting to so very badly, never loved Ranboo like how Ranboo loved him.
Ranboo loved him both outwardly and silently, he loved him before they had a kid, he loved him.
Tubbo was loved and despite all of the love he was given, he could not love. At least not in the way that Ranboo wanted him to.
It was a realization that shook Tubbo to his core after killing Aimsey on that bridge, he loved their son, he loved the home that was built for their son, but loving Ranboo had never been in his vernacular, despite for months, maybe closer to a year, thinking and hoping and pleading with a God that did not listen. He didn’t love Ranboo, he was not, nor ever in love with Ranboo.
Now don’t get him wrong, he did care for Ranboo, well used to care for Ranboo, when they had died, it really snuffed out any care he had. The death aspect of everything made any feelings that he did have for the hybrid, extinguish with a pop when he saw Ghostboo. Tubbo learned from a very early on, do not care for dead things, it will only hurt you.
No matter if they are wanting to hurt you, or not, they will. They can’t help it.
Death feasts on happiness.
Ranboo was looking at him, Tubbo could feel their gaze on him, burning into the side of his head. He just kept looking at Micheal.
“Hey buddy, how about we get you ready for bed?” Tubbo said, sending one look at Ranboo, hoping that he understood. His voice was light but he was not going to let this.. dead thing take care of his son.
“But Bee,” Micheal said, holding on the e for a moment longer. “I want to still hang out with Boo please, I have missed my boo.”
Micheal curled up in Ranboo’s lap and held onto their arm, but Ran just held Tubbo gaze. There was nervousness and confusion mixed with a look that Tubbo couldn’t seem to pin down.
That’s when Ranboo finally looked away from tubbo, and looked at their son, curled up in their lap and letting out small happy snorts. Ran let out a grin as he looked over Michael, he kissed the top of his head. “I’ve missed you too little one.”
“Micheal, Boo has to go home,” Tubbo said gently, but also again sending the same warning, ever so hostile look to Ranboo.
Micheal was confused at that, his nose scrunched and face contorted into confusion. He tilted his head ever so slightly. “He is home Bee. Isn’t he?”
Ranboo looked up to Tubbo and seeing Michael’s eyes it hurt, he loved his parents and Tubbo knew this, but how to you tell your 6 year old son that you don’t love your spouse anymore and you don’t think you ever did.
So Tubbo kept his thoughts to himself. He had opened and closed his mouth.
“Micheal, I need to go visit Grandpa, that’s what he meant.” Ranboo jumped in with ease and smoothed Michael’s hair back. “I will be back later, tomorrow or the day after. But I will tuck you in if you would like?”
Micheal looked between the two of them. Tubbo knew how smart his son was but he decided that answer was okay, gave a nod, with a yawn. “ ‘Kay, lets go to sleep.”
Tubbo came and scooped up Micheal out of Ran’s lap. He pulled out his Cars pajamas and Michael let out a squeal of joy.
Ranboo gave him a kiss on the head and tucked him into sleep, Tubbo standing, arms crossed and his face blank, in Michaels door way.
Ranboo pushed past him and Tubbo did not spare them a glance.
When Tubbo was confident that Micheal had fallen asleep he turned to Ranboo who was busying himself with a book.
“Shall we talk?”
“Outside.” Ranboo said, it was neutral or as close as they would get to neutral ground, tubbo nodded and Pulled on his coat.
When he walked outside, his breath billowed out in front of him, the chill of fall had begun to set in and if Tubbo’s suspicions were right, there should be snow by the end of the month.
He leaned on his railing just outside of the house. Ranboo leaned on it as well, faced towards the door, and they stood there for a moment silence taking them over and all they could hear was the soft shifting of wind in the trees.
“It’s good to see you.” Ranboo started.
“Ranboo, I think you need to leave, this,” Tubbo took a breath and steeled himself, he didn’t want to hurt anyone, but they weren’t happy. “This isn’t working and it really hasn’t since the start.”
“Bo-“
“Don’t. You and I both know this wasn’t meant to last,” Tubbo replied, his voice tight. “We were never meant to last a long time, we are young and you died.”
“Tubbo listen what about-“
“Micheal will grow to understand, we can split custody. Ran, listen to me, neither one of us are happy, this,” He gestured between the two of them, “whatever this was, it wasn’t built to last.”
Tubbo pushed off from the deck. It felt like the weight that had been taken off his shoulders had settled into his churning stomach. “I can get the paper organized and talk to Jack or something.”
Tubbo grabbed at the ring that was on a chain around his neck. “I would also think you would want this back,”
It was emblazoned with bees around the outside of the ring, Ran had it made specifically for Tubbo.
“No,” Ranboo choked out. Tubbo can tell he is crying despite trying not to, “It was a gift, keep it. Not that I have much use for it now.”
They sat outside for a while, Ranboo attempting to calm himself down and after about 20 minutes, the breathing had evened out and Tubbo looked over to him, there were fresh burns down his face.
“Well,” Tubbo said finally. “I will see you around.”
“Tubbo wait,” Ran grabbed his arm, the scars from the limbo scattered across them. Their gaze met his. “Please be honest with me for this but,-“
Tubbo let his arm grow heavy and then they dropped his arm.
Tubbo, no matter what he tried, felt nothing for the person in front of him.
Ran tucked his hands behind his back and avoided Tubbo's eyes.
“Tubbo, did you ever,” there was a pregnant pause, the air between them was thick. “Did you ever love me?”
Ran said it was more of a statement than anything else.
Tubbo let out a sigh, he didn’t want to hurt Ranboo, never did he want to, but honesty was more important than anything else. He knew that now
“No,” Tubbo said simply and turned to enter the house, pausing after he opened the door. “I don’t think I ever did, I think the comfort of your money is what I loved.”
With that Tubbo entered and closed the door behind him without a second glance.
He would think that the pain would come to him later, a delayed yearning for his husband, but nothing ever did come. It wasn’t like when he exiled Tommy and he know he did wrong.
That was a lie, he knows he did wrong and he knows that he shouldn’t have rushed into this, but he was foolish stupid child.
He had to deal with the consequences now.
A Child he had with someone he never loved. But things will get better, at some point.