Archive of Our Own

Xie Lian had never given much thought to what falling in love would look like for herself, mostly because she never really imagined herself falling in love at all. It always felt like something distant, intangible; a glimpse of a scenario dreamt up by and for someone else.

Maybe that was why it had taken her so long to notice the signs. She brings a hand to her pink cheeks, wondering if she always so blatantly wears the warmth she feels whenever she speaks to Hua Cheng. Or if her eyes are always this bright, splendorous gold or if that too is a side effect of—

She rubs at her shoulder, half-expecting ink to smear off onto her fingers, but when she holds up her hand, it's clean, and her shoulder is still adorned with swirls of color. Xie Lian traces the shape of a rose with her nail, following the curve of the petals up and around, then over onto the neighboring carnation. The bouquet covers her whole shoulder and spills a few inches down her arm.

It's vibrant. It's gorgeous. It's also horribly, painfully obvious.

As she stares at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she wonders if she could have avoided this beautiful curse had she just minded her own business. If she hadn't, just a few minutes ago, asked her friend about that.

But love doesn't spring up in a day, just as a garden doesn't bloom overnight. No, this had been a long time coming.

—

Hua Cheng had given her a spare key to apartment months ago, and though Xie Lian felt guilty at first just letting herself in, she never really regretted doing so. It was convenient, especially when Hua Cheng was busy with other things, and it had even given her the opportunity to surprise her best friend with dinner a few times—an act that was just as much a treat for Xie Lian as it was for Hua Cheng.

Today as she let herself in, it seemed Hua Cheng was on the phone. Xie Lian caught the tail end of her conversation as she took off her jacket.

"—told you no already," Hua Cheng said sharply. "It's a personal project."

Xie Lian found herself straining to listen while she pulled off her shoes. She quickly scolded herself for the nosiness; to make up for it, she set her shoes down a little more loudly than necessary to announce her presence. Then, more clearly she added, "San Niang? I'm here."

"Just a minute, jiejie," Hua Cheng called, voice sweet and warm before hardening back into ice as she returned to her phone call. "Leave it alone. You weren't even supposed to see it. I'm locking it up with the others and that's that."

Xie Lian watched her brow twitch in irritation. Whatever the person on the other end of the line was saying, it was only aggravating her. After about a minute of terse silence, Hua Cheng snapped, “Enough. Stay out of my business unless you want to be fired. I assure you, it wouldn’t take long to find your replacement.”

She ended the call and carelessly tossed her phone to the other end of the couch. It was Xie Lian who winced and then sighed in relief when it bounced against the cushion but thankfully did not fall. She gingerly moved it over so she could sit.

“Is everything alright, San Niang?”

“En. Just my agent being stupid,” Hua Cheng huffed.

Xie Lian tipped her head, curious. She had assumed it was work related when Hua Cheng mentioned firing someone, but she wondered what the aforementioned personal project was and asked as much.

To her surprise, Hua Cheng averted her gaze. Draping an arm over the back of the couch, she tapped one manicured nail against the black leather. “That’s just… some private pieces that he found out about that I didn’t want anyone to see. He’s been nagging me to put them in a show.”

Xie Lian let out a sympathetic hum. Though Hua Cheng was always sincere with her, she still valued her privacy. “They must be very beautiful for him to be so adamant about it."

Hua Cheng shrugged, but there was a strange look in her eye. "They don't do the subject justice, but anything in that person's likeness benefits from their beauty."

Had Xie Lian known then what she does now, she might have tried to stop things there, but the question tumbled out without care then, too quick for her to catch. "That person?"

"My muse," Hua Cheng clarified, a soft, faraway look in her eye. "They're a very precious person to me."

"Oh," Xie Lian said, transfixed by the dreamy expression her friend wore. She never looked so warm speaking about someone, not in the many years Xie Lian has known her, and it's… strange. Not bad, but it made Xie Lian's skin prickle. It weighed down her tongue with some emotion she couldn't yet name.

Her eyes dropped, and then her heart did too.

Hua Cheng was rubbing her arm as she spoke. It seemed a subconscious gesture, but as her fingers ran up and down the floral tattoos lining her skin, a realization dawned on Xie Lian.

"I thought your tattoos were just ink? N-Not…" She couldn't bring herself to say it, but Hua Cheng understood.

"They are," she said, dropping her hand back to her lap. "But your hunch isn't wrong, jiejie. I had the artist trace over the huā pí. Not that I think they'd ever fade, but I wanted it to make it undeniably permanent. This way, I always have the reminder of them on my skin."

Xie Lian looked away and chuckled nervously. "Sounds like you really care about this person."

"En." The gentleness of Hua Cheng's voice turned the prickle into a burn. "More than anything in the world."

Xie Lian rubbed at her shoulder through her cardigan, right where her skin itched the most. "Why have I never met them? Did something bad happen?"

"They're still alive, if that's what you mean, but I'm ashamed to admit your San Niang is a coward."

That brought Xie Lian's eyes back on her. "Don't say that."

"It's true. I've never told them how I feel , and I probably never will. For me, it's enough to be by their side, to know that they're happy and safe."

Xie Lian studied her expression carefully, but there didn't seem to be any trace of a lie. Hua Cheng truly loved someone with such sincerity and devotion, and didn't expect an ounce of reciprocation. It was unfair. The injustice of it made Xie Lian's throat tight.

How could anyone be on the receiving end of such affection and not realize it? If it was Xie Lian, she would-

She clutched her shoulder again as it throbbed in tune with her aching heart. If it was her, she… would be the happiest woman in the world. If it was her, she would never let Hua Cheng go a day without knowing she was loved. If it was her.

Why couldn’t it be her?

"That person truly is blessed," she said softly, because any louder and her voice might have cracked, "to have San Niang's love."

Hua Cheng shifted her weight, uncharacteristically shy. She still wouldn't look at Xie Lian, and probably would change the subject soon. Xie Lian beat her to the punch by standing and flashing a small smile.

"Just going to use your bathroom. Why don't you put on that movie you were telling me about last week?"

"Oh, sure thing. I'll make popcorn too."

"Thanks. I'll be quick."

The itching sensation under her skin was only getting worse, and she splashed cold water on her face to wash off the sheen of sweat that had accumulated on her brow. Not a second later, there was a sharp pinch on her shoulder that had her yanking off her cardigan.

And that's how she found herself here, staring at her own reflection so long that she doesn’t really see herself anymore. She racks her brain for what she knows of the markings, sorting out everything she’s learned from books and movies, as well as everything her mother had taught her when she was a child.

huā pí was a lot itchier than she expected it to be, but it wasn’t really painful. The longevity varied from case to case, but they tended to linger until either reciprocation or the feelings dissipated. In her mother’s case, they tended to come and go like seasons; for some of her high school friends, they wilted just as quickly as they bloomed.

Flowers of love. Bouquets of pining and affection and yearning, ones that Xie Lian had often seen on others but had never imagined for herself.

A knock on the door interrupts her thoughts. "Jiejie? Everything alright?"

"Yes, I'll be right out," she calls, hastily flushing the toilet and pocketing her phone. She'll have to do more research later. For now, she has no choice but to hide it. If Hua Cheng sees it, she'll want to know who the flowers are for and Xie Lian can’t handle that line of questioning right now. So she pulls her cardigan back on, musters up a smile, and heads back out to watch a movie with her best friend, determined not to think of roses and hyacinths and what they mean.

—

Xie Lian tries to keep it up during the week, but it's hard not to think of it when she runs a flower shop. The dozen roses she sells to a harried businessman on his lunch break make her think of her covered shoulder; the orchids she spritzes in the afternoon, Hua Cheng's soft wrist. The hydrangeas on Hua Cheng's biceps. The magnolias on her own skin.

It's maddening. So much so that Xie Lian turns to her least favorite task—balancing the books—for a little break from it all. Unfortunately, but unsurprisingly, the state of her finances is bleak. As if that wasn't bad enough, staring at the numbers against the harsh white backdrop of the cells puts her halfway to a headache. She gives up after just a half hour, feeling more depressed than before.

What do you even do when you need a distraction from your distraction? Xie Lian thinks, rubbing at her eyes.

The tinkle of her bell has her perking up, mustering up a smile as she greets a potential customer.

"Hi, welcome t— oh!"

"Xie Lian," the landlord greets tersely. They’ve only met a handful of times—once when he handed her the key to what would become her humble shop and then a few times to scold her for late payments—but they were enough for them to develop a mutual dislike for each other. Xie Lian hides hers better, but there's definitely a strain at the edges of her smile now.

"I already paid the rent for this month," Xie Lian points out, confused. She fumbles for some semblance of courtesy. "Did you need help picking out a bouquet?"

He waves a hand, dismissive in both gesture and tone. "No. I'm just here to let you know rent is going up next month. Here's the official notice, so you can't say I didn't warn you ahead of time."

With a quickly mounting sense of dread, Xie Lian accepts a paper from him and skims it. Her eyes bulge when she reaches the number at the center of the page.

"This- am I reading this right? Surely there must be a misprint. This is double what I'm paying now."

"No mistake," he says brusquely. "Prices are going up all around the neighborhood, and I've got to keep up. Besides, there's already a few potential buyers with eyes on your spot."

Xie Lian feels light-headed, and she grips onto the counter behind her to keep herself steady. "Can’t we work something out? Let’s talk about this. What about an incremental plan–”

The landlord raises a hand, cutting off her frantic attempt at negotiation. “Listen, I’m sorry, I really am, but the price is final. I think I’ve been pretty generous with you so far, but I can’t keep accepting late payments and excuses. I need the payment, and I need it on time. If you can’t make that… well, you have time to figure things out.”

For one second, just a single moment from one heartbeat to the next, Xie Lian is overcome with a flash of white-hot fury. She wants to throw something at him. She wants to scream and shout and rage at the unfairness of it all.

Then her heart beats, and she breathes. The moment passes. She slumps against the counter, watching with exhausted eyes as the landlord takes his leave. The bell chimes with a joy she cannot feel before leaving her to stew in morose silence.

“...Well,” Xie Lian says after catching herself staring blankly into space for a few frighteningly long minutes. Good thing no one was around to see it. She forces herself to straighten up and claps her hands together. “No way around it. I just have to do my best.”

As she sits back down at the computer to research small business loans, she ignores the quiet voice in the back of her head that wonders when her best will ever be enough.

—

Working two jobs isn’t too bad. Xie Lian has done it before. It’s tiring, sure, but at least the bone-deep exhaustion means she falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow, and when she sleeps, she doesn’t have to think so much. Silver linings and all.

But over the next two weeks, the bags under her eyes only get darker, the ache in her neck sorer. She’s condensed her usual morning yoga into a quick ten minute stretch instead, and she feels the sacrifice keenly. There’s no time to clear her head or relax her muscles. Even so, all of it would be so much more manageable if it wasn’t for the fact that she had also undertaken the most difficult task of all: hiding from San Niang.

It isn’t that she wants to hide from her best friend/newly realized love of her life. It’s just that between the huā pí (which had progressed halfway down her bicep) and now the whole money thing, she has a lot she couldn’t let Hua Cheng know about and since the latter has the uncanny ability to tell when Xie Lian was lying, the only way to keep it all a secret is to avoid her entirely.

It’s proving to be more draining than she had anticipated. Spending time with Hua Cheng has always been her favorite way to recharge, and now that she doesn’t have that, everything feels off-kilter. Even if she couldn’t talk to her about her problems, Xie Lian knows that just being able to sit and lean against her side while watching TV or laughing together over warm mugs of tea would be so much better than the apologetic texts she’s been replying with every time Hua Cheng asks if she’s free. Hua Cheng never makes her feel bad for it because she’s far too kind for that, but it doesn’t stop Xie Lian from feeling bad about it anyway.

She sighs as she finishes counting her money and tucks it away in her safe. The money she’s been making from waitressing only just barely makes up for the dry spell the flower shop has been having. At this rate, she isn’t sure she’ll scrape together enough to make the rent next month, let alone all her other bills. And then she has to worry about this every month after that? It’s all too much.

A knock on the door stops her mid-spiral. The shop’s already closed, but she’ll gladly welcome a late customer if it means extra money.

As she approaches the door, however, she sees some familiar faces waiting for her.

“Oh! Feng Xin, Mu Qing, come in. I was just wrapping up. What brings you guys here?”

Feng Xin locks the door behind them both, then casts a curious glance around the shop. “You free after this?”

Xie Lian gives her an apologetic smile. “Ah, I’m sorry. I’m going over to San Niang’s for movie night,” she lies. Before she can offer to make plans for a different day, Mu Qing cuts her off with a sharp look.

“If that’s true, then why is your stalker friend blowing up my phone telling me to give you a break?” she deadpans, holding up her phone. “She’s been texting me all day complaining that she can hardly see you because we’ve been hogging you so much, meanwhile this is the first time either of us has seen you in over a month.”

Xie Lian freezes, caught. She had really been banking on her friends’ mutual disdain for each other to keep her secret. “...Because I, um, may have told her I’ve been with you guys lately.”

“You’ve been lying to get out of spending time with her,” Mu Qing corrects.

“No!” Xie Lian cries, aghast. “Well, technically, yes, but not because I don’t want to spend time with her. You’ve got the wrong idea!”

“Xie Lian,” Feng Xin interrupts, crossing her arms over her chest with a worried frown. “Did she do something to you? We don’t mean to pry, but if she did–”

“No! No, no, no! San Niang is perfect,” Xie Lian says quickly, then feels her skin heat at the words. “I mean, she’s perfectly fine. As in she hasn’t done anything to me. What would even make you think such a thing? Ahaha…”

Xie Lian wilts under the combined weight of their glares. “Okay, yes, I’ve been lying to San Niang, but I just didn’t want to worry her.”

“What would she have to worry about?” Feng Xin asks.

With a resigned sigh, Xie Lian rummages through a drawer until she finds the notice the landlord gave her. She hands it wordlessly to Mu QIng, who scans it with narrowed eyes. Feng Xin steps closer to read over her shoulder.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“THIS IS BULLSHIT!”

“It is what it is,” Xie Lian says evenly. "The banks won't give me a loan, so I took a second job to start getting the money together for next month’s rent.”

“How is this even LEGAL?! This isn’t fucking RIGHT!” Feng Xin fumes, boots pounding heavily on the floor as she starts to pace.

Mu Qing, on the other hand, has directed her incredulity at Xie Lian herself. “Why the hell wouldn’t you tell Hua Cheng about this?”

Xie Lian frowns. “She shouldn’t have to worry about something like this.”

“Bullshit. She’s LOADED. You know she could help you make your payment.”

“She’s not that rich,” Xie Lian defends, “and she has her own bills to worry about. Besides, this is my shop. I’m the one responsible for it at the end of the day.”

“You won’t have any shop to be responsible for at all if you don’t accept any help,” Mu Qing points out. Feng Xin whirls on her heel, stomping over to give her a quick kick in the shin.

“Knock it off! She doesn’t need you scaring her right now!”

“What she needs is a reality check!”

“Oh, and I suppose YOU’RE the best person to give her that?”

Xie Lian settles into her chair while they argue. She’d much rather be home already, but maybe she can at least nap while they’re distracted. She folds her arms on the counter and rests her weary head on top, eyes already closing before she’s made it all the way down.

“You need customers, right? Well, I’ve got a fuckton of coworkers and clients. At least some of them are bound to want flowers for something, right? Plus, they all know people too. If we get a buzz going about your shop, we can bring in some new customers.”

“Advertising on social media will help too,” Mu Qing adds. “I know you’re an old woman in a twenty seven year old body, so I’ll get the accounts set up. All you have to do is take decent pictures of your flowers, and I’ll handle the rest.”

“The point is, we’ve got your back,” Feng Xin says with a determined nod. “Let us help you out.”

Mu Qing sniffs, shuffling back into a more disinterested stance. “Unless you don’t want our help…”

Xie Lian reaches over the table and yanks them both in for a hug. It’s awkward and the counter digs painfully into their stomachs, but it’s also tight and warm.

“Thank you, guys.”

After a few seconds, they both begin to squirm, so Xie Lian lets go. She beams at them.

"I really do have to head out now, but let's meet up tomorrow to talk more about this."

They wait for her while she grabs her bag, looking like they have more to say; on some level, she feels the same. There’s still so much on her mind that she hasn’t told them, but it doesn’t feel appropriate. She isn’t even really sure she wants to talk about it. Instinctively, she draws her cardigan in tighter around herself. It’s not that she necessarily minds her friends seeing her with all the marks. After all, Feng Xin had had them too at one point, though Xie Lian had never gotten the chance to see them for herself.

It wasn’t a bad thing to be marked. It was no more or less embarrassing than what it was at its roots— being in love, and love isn’t something she had been raised to feel shame in. She knows her friends can be overprotective though, to put it mildly; just the thought of the interrogation she would have to endure if they realized the truth is enough to give her a headache and that’s without the added detail of it being Hua Cheng of all people.

So lying it’ll have to be, at least until her life is a little less stressful.

It's Feng Xin who breaks her out of her musings right as she's shutting off the lights and letting them out onto the street:

"Are you really not going to tell Hua Cheng?"

Xie Lian hesitates before shaking her head and quickly locking the door. "I don't want to bother her. It would only make her worry."

"I'm already worried."

The trio turns around to see Hua Cheng leaning against the side of the shop. Her gaze flits from Feng Xin to Mu Qing with blatant disinterest, then softens as it settles on Xie Lian.

"Jiejie, what's going on?"

Xie Lian sighs, knowing she won't be able to hide it anymore. She offers her friends a weak smile. "You guys can head home. We'll talk later."

Feng Xin stares Hua Cheng down warily. "You sure?"

"I'm sure," Xie Lian says firmly.

Mu Qing rolls her eyes and elbows Feng Xin. "Come on, idiot. Let's go."

"Ow! Bony motherfucker…"

Their bickering fades as they walk off. Hua Cheng nods towards the direction of her car, parked further up the street. "Let me drive you home?"

"Sure," Xie Lian says before biting her lip. "Well, actually, could you drop me off at the Thai restaurant we like?"

Hua Cheng helps her into the passenger's side first then slides into the driver's seat. "Picking up dinner?"

"Ah, more like picking up a shift," Xie Lian admits sheepishly.

"What?" Xie Lian isn't looking at her so she can't see when it clicks for her, but it's apparent when Hua Cheng quickly follows it up with a flat, "That's why you've been so busy lately."

"En."

Hua Cheng drums her fingers on the steering wheel, quiet. Then she sighs and starts the car. "Alright. I'll drive you, but in the meantime, I'd really appreciate an explanation."

Even now, when she's clearly upset, she doesn't force anything from Xie Lian; she makes no demands of her. Xie Lian's heart aches at the consideration.

"Okay. Alright, well, about two weeks ago…"

The words spill out of her more easily than she thought. Hua Cheng just listens. She keeps her eye on the road, but a twitching brow and clenched jaw belies her rising anger. But she bites down on her temper, forcibly keeping it at bay until Xie Lian finishes explaining right as they roll to a stop at a red light.

Hua Cheng peers at her out of the corner of her eye. Her knuckles are stark white against the red leather of the steering wheel.

"Jiejie…"

"It's under control now, really. Feng Xin and Mu Qing are helping me advertise. It'll be good for business."

The light changes, and Hua Cheng returns her attention to the road. "So jiejie will accept help from those two idiots but not me? Is this San Niang really so unreliable?"

Her voice gives an attempt at playfulness, but Xie Lian doesn't laugh.

"Not at all. San Niang is the most dependable person I know," she says seriously. "And I know you would have offered to help if I told you, but… ah, San Niang, I can't take your money."

"It's fine, jiejie. Just think of it as a loan."

This time Xie Lian does chuckle, but the sound is humorless. "One I would never be able to repay. And sure, it would help me next month, but what about after that? And the one after that?"

"I don't mind lending you whenever you need. It's fine if you can’t pay it back right away," Hua Cheng argues.

Xie Lian shakes her head. "I appreciate it, really, but I can't keep borrowing from you and not paying you back. I need to build my business in a way that'll sustain itself in the long run."

Hua Cheng pulls the car over in one smooth motion, putting it into park in front of a row of apartments Xie Lian vaguely recognizes.

"Jiejie, it's really no trouble. I hate to see you so stressed about this when I can help," Hua Cheng admits, frustration clear in her voice. Xie Lian reaches across the console to take her hands.

"San Niang, do you trust me?"

"Of course. More than anyone on this earth," she answers without hesitation, squeezing Xie Lian's hands. It sends a pleasant spark up her veins that lingers around her elbow, warm and tingling. How could Xie Lian do anything but love her when she says things like that with such sincerity?

"Then trust me when I say I've got things under control." Frankly, Xie Lian isn't even sure of that herself, but Hua Cheng's faith makes her want to believe. "I appreciate the offer, but I won't be taking your money—not when I've done nothing to earn it."

Hua Cheng looks like she wants to argue more, but after a moment, she relents with a heavy sigh. "Alright. But promise me you'll keep me updated on things. Promise that you'll come to me next time something happens. Even if I can't help, at least let me stand by your side while you face the challenge."

For me, it's enough to be by their side, to know that they're happy and safe.

Xie Lian closes her eyes, ignoring the sting of new blooms forming under her sleeves. If this is Hua Cheng's dedication to a dear friend, how devoted must she be to a lover? Xie Lian's swallows her bitterness and exhales, smiling.

"I promise. Thank you, San Niang."

Hua Cheng pulls them back onto the road, though she still leaves one of her hands on the center console to lay tangled with Xie Lian's own. Xie Lian's heart pounds, and she keeps stealing glances at their hands, fearful that any second now, fresh petals will wrap around her fingers and shatter this precious moment.

She's so focused that she doesn't realize they've stopped outside her apartment complex until Hua Cheng clears her throat.

Xie Lian jumps, coughing lightly into her fist. She glances out the window and frowns. "This isn't the restaurant."

"Call out."

"San Niang…"

"Your San Niang has been so lonely lately, jiejie. Surely you can take just one night off to spend time with me? One car ride wasn't enough," she complains, leaning against the wheel with a pout.

Xie Lian sees through the act, of course. Hua Cheng must have spotted the dark circles under her eyes the moment she saw her. This is just Hua Cheng's roundabout way of getting her to take a break. Despite knowing this, she still feels a little guilty when she remembers how much she's been neglecting her best friend.

"...Alright," she relents. She tries to sound stern as she loosens her seatbelt. "But just this once! I can't make a habit of missing work."

"Of course. I understand," Hua Cheng says, so gleeful that it's clear she'll say anything as long as she's getting her way.

Hua Cheng skips upstairs, smiling and clinging to Xie Lian's arm like she's being indulged, but it's Xie Lian who feels spoiled as Hua Cheng bustles around the kitchen to make her tea and a snack, as Hua Cheng lets her snuggle up against her shoulder while they watch old martial arts movies, and then later as Hua Cheng carries her dozing body to bed.

She isn't sure whether the press of lips against her forehead is real, but the very dream of it is enough to leave a trail of lilacs across her collarbone for her to discover in the morning.

—

Things progress slowly, but steadily from there. Unfortunately time is precisely what Xie Lian does not have. Mu Qing is doing her best on the social media front, joining local community boards and keeping a steady stream of posts up, but it's impossible to build up a following overnight.

Thankfully, Feng Xin has some luck asking around her job; one of her co-workers has a wedding coming up, and has been struggling to find a florist that fits her budget on such short notice. Xie Lian jumps on the opportunity, working overtime to fulfill the request, and the result is a sizable lump of money that gives her some breathing room while they work on building up her brand. It's still hard work, and most days Xie Lian is dead on her feet, but step by step, she trudges on.

She still takes shifts at the restaurant, but now that Hua Cheng knows about her second job, she offers to drive her around, which saves a lot of time. The car is comfortable enough that she could nap during the rides, but she'd much rather stay awake and talk to San Niang—even if the approach of summer makes it harder to hide her quickly spreading marks.

"Jiejie, aren't you hot in that sweater?" Hua Cheng frets, fiddling with the A.C.

She is, but she has no other choice. She fiddles with the frayed edges of her sleeves. "Haha, it's really not so bad. It's actually pretty cozy."

She half-expects an incredulous look like the ones Feng Xin and Mu Qing have been giving her whenever she refuses to take off her jacket under the sweltering summer sun, but Hua Cheng's eye flashes with some other emotion Xie Lian can’t quite identify.

"Mm, you do look cozy."

Xie Lian isn't sure why she blushes, but she does. She quickly turns her head, mumbling something unintelligible while Hua Cheng laughs brightly.

"Ah, jiejie, do we have time for a quick stop?"

Xie Lian checks her phone. "We should have time. I think Feng Xin and Mu Qing are traveling together, so they'll probably be a little late if they end up fighting on the way."

Xie Lian pretends not to hear the scathing insult Hua Cheng mutters under her breath, and in return, Hua Cheng pretends not to hear the snort of laughter she fails to contain.

"Where did you want to go?" Xie Lian asks as they park a few streets over from their destination—the flower shop.

Hua Cheng casually tosses her keys and catches them in one hand as they walk. The little fox keychain Xie Lian gave her winks at her in mid-air.

"I was craving some bubble tea. You want?"

Xie Lian lights up. She hasn't had the time (or money) for treats lately, so it sounds especially delightful. "Ooh, great idea! I'll call Feng Xin and tell them to meet us there instead."

"I'll order for us while you do that," Hua Cheng says, disappearing into the shop before Xie Lian can protest.

The phone call barely takes a minute, so Xie Lian settles at one of the two tables outside while she waits. She's not picky about flavors, so she isn't worried about what Hua Cheng picks, but her eyes still widen with pleasant surprise when she takes a sip.

"Oh, that's so tasty," she hums, immediately taking another sip. A quick glance at the cup shows Hua Cheng ordered her tea just the way she likes it — half sugar and plenty of ice.

Despite how cool the drink goes down, Xie Lian's chest feels warm.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing arrive quickly thereafter, giving Xie Lian the rare pleasure of having all her friends together in one place. They're horribly loud, especially with Hua Cheng constantly needling the other two into an argument, but today Xie Lian can only laugh, heart full of affection for her silly friends.

They talk a bit about their original purpose for meeting; Mu Qing updates her on social media, while both she and Hua Cheng offer advice on how to take better photos—one more scathing than the other, but the advice is sound on both ends. Feng Xin has less to update, but mentions wanting to pick up more flyers to put up around the gym she frequents. It's a stretch, but in this moment, surrounded by the support of her friends while enjoying the sunshine on her face, Xie Lian allows herself to hope.

Hope, she realizes, is very much like creeping phlox. Sweet and vivid as the little pink blossoms that blanket anything they can reach, hope sweeps over the other parts of her heart. Her eyes linger on Hua Cheng, admiring the beauty of her inked skin in the sunlight. She's never hidden her marks, never seemed to find shame in her love. On the contrary, she bares her arms as often as possible, showing off the love she apparently feels so endlessly, so keenly. Xie Lian had never realized she was such a romantic, but now that she knows it, she can't think of her any other way.

Someone like that would never reproach her for her love.

The thought comes out of nowhere, but there's no panic or surprise either. It just rises to the surface and melts like an ice cube, soothing her with its simple logic.

Why should she hide her feelings? Telling her friends her problem had helped, and Hua Cheng is only kind to her, always gentle and understanding. Even if she didn't feel the same way, she wouldn't make Xie Lian feel bad about it. She would still be her friend. Loyal to a fault, Hua Cheng would stay by her side whether those flowers bloom or wilt.

And maybe that's exactly what Xie Lian needs.

Hua Cheng catches her staring and shoots her a wry smile. Xie Lian's breath catches in her throat. Her heart is racing but her mind is surprisingly serene. She reaches for the hem of her pullover.

Her phone rings. She reaches into her pocket instead, brows furrowing when she sees a number she doesn’t recognize. She answers and quickly brings it up to her ear.

“Hello? Wh- slow down. Can you repeat that please?”

The other three look at her with concern. Xie Lian angles herself away, covering her other ear as she tries to make out the frantic words coming through the phone.

“What? …How bad is it?” Xie Lian rubs her forehead, visibly stressed. “Okay. Okay. I’ll be there soon. Thanks for telling me.”

“What’s wrong?” Hua Cheng asks the moment she hangs up.

Xie Lian looks up to meet her friends’ anxious stares. “The store,” she says, scrambling to her feet. She knocks over her empty cup in her haste, but Feng Xin catches it before it can fall.

“What? What about it?” Mu Qing demands.

“Someone broke in…”

No further words are needed. The three of them jump up, silent for once as they race with her up the street. Even if they did speak, Xie Lian probably wouldn’t have heard them. All she can hear is her own breathing and the prayers she chants in her head as they near the store. Prayers that go unanswered.

A few of the other shopkeeps are standing out on the street when she arrives. A few of their stores are damaged, windows broken or graffiti’d, but from the sympathetic glances they give her, she can tell Xianle Flowers has been hit the worst.

Shattered glass glitters on the sidewalk. The brick responsible for the damage sits in a pool of water a few feet in the door, surrounded by the shards of a broken vase.

“Why the fuck would anyone do something like this?” Feng Xin mutters as they fan out to inspect the damage. She lifts a bouquet of trampled lilies and sucks her teeth in dismay. “Fucking assholes!”

“This is going to take ages to clean,” Mu Qing grumbles as she goes searching for Xie Lian’s mop.

Hua Cheng stands directly in front of Xie Lian, gently squeezing her shoulders until she looks up. “Jiejie… Are you alright?”

Xie Lian doesn’t want to answer that. “The safe,” she says instead, pulling away from Hua Cheng’s hold. “I have to check the safe.”

Hua Cheng follows as she rounds the counter and pushes the door to the back office open with numb fingers. The fact that it’s already ajar is a bad sign; her fears are confirmed when the spot where the safe normally sits is empty. All that’s there now is a clean space outlined by a square of dust.

Gone. All the money she had been saving—gone in the blink of an eye.

Xie Lian looks up at the ceiling and barks one short, humorless laugh that quickly deflates into a sigh.

She wants to fall to her knees and cry. She wants to chug a bottle of wine and then smash it against the floor where it can lay with the shards of her broken dreams. She wants to scream and curse the gods that did not answer her, to run until her lungs almost burst from the exertion, and stop only when she's so far removed from this reality that maybe she can at least die in peace.

Instead of doing any of those things, she forces herself to count her blessings (which end up being only one: at least no one was hurt), and claps her hands together. "Well, that's that then. Let's just pack the essentials first. We can clean up the rest after."

"Jiejie?"

Please don't look at me like that, Xie Lian thinks desperately. She busies herself with finding an empty box and just starts dumping in papers.

"Jiejie. Look at me, please."

"Sorry, San Niang. There's just so much to do." A folder slips from her hand but Hua Cheng catches her before can kneel for it.

"What–" Xie Lian is cut off by two strong arms wrapping around her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"It's okay to be upset, jiejie," Hua Cheng whispers as Xie Lian stands frozen in shock. "Scream if you're angry. Cry if you're sad. But please, don't give up like this. This shop is your dream."

Her vision blurs. "San Niang, I… there's nothing else I can do. The shop is ruined. The money is gone."

"Isn't it you who always says there's a third way?"

Xie Lian presses her face into the crook of Hua Cheng's neck, shuddering as she fights back tears. "...I don't see how. This time, I just… I'm so tired."

The admission, quiet as it's whispered, is shameful. Xie Lian hasn't felt shame in years, but it bears down on her now, so heavy that her knees buckle. But even with the weight of all her failures on her shoulders, Hua Cheng's embrace remains steady, supporting her with an unyielding warmth.

"Then rest," Hua Cheng tells her, rubbing her back while she shudders. "I'll take care of things."

Xie Lian lifts her head, frowning. "I won't just take your money."

Hua Cheng swipes a gentle thumb over the corner of her eye, catching a lone tear. "I know. Have a little faith, jiejie. I have a plan."

Xie Lian bites her lip. She's exhausted, and jaded from her failures; she has no reason to trust in hope or optimism. But if there's one thing she will always believe in, it's Hua Cheng.

"Okay. I trust you."

"Thank you."

They stand like that for a while, just holding each other, until Mu Qing and Feng Xin's voices get loud enough that they reluctantly part. Hua Cheng excuses herself to make a few phone calls, while Xie Lian breaks the news to them.

Once they're done cursing, they go back to cleaning. The owner of the hardware store comes by with a thick plastic tarp and helps Xie Lian seal the giant window up front. By the time everything is said and done, the shop doesn't look half-bad. Sure a good number of display pieces were destroyed, and the tarp blocks most of the natural light, but it's clean and she still has a good amount of stock left.

"Jiejie, I need to go take care of a few things. Will you be alright on your own?"

Feng Xin scowls. "Uh, HELLO? What the hell are we, chopped liver?"

Hua Cheng tugs on her ear, looking irritated. "Jiejie, I'll get you some fly paper too. I hear some pests buzzing."

Xie Lian shakes her head. "I'll be fine, San Niang, thank you. Um, but about what we discussed earlier... Is there anything I should be doing?"

"Just give me a few days," Hua Cheng assures her. Her smile looks a little strained. "I will need some flowers though. Is it okay if I come by the shop on Friday?"

Oh? Xie Lian's curiosity is piqued, but she knows that Hua Cheng will keep her plans a secret until she's ready to reveal them. "Yes, of course. Though if you want a specific species, I'm not sure I'll have it available."

"Don't worry, jiejie. Whatever you have on hand will be perfect."

With that reassurance, Hua Cheng says her goodbye to Xie Lian and then leaves without a word to the other two.

"What were you two muttering about?" Mu Qing demands once Hua Cheng is gone.

Feng Xin scoffs. "Do you always have to be so suspicious of everything? I'm sure it was nothing. Right, Xie Lian?"

"Hm? Oh, San Niang has an idea on how to help the shop, so she asked if she could come by later this week."

"I thought you were too proud to take her money," Mu Qing huffs before being socked in the arm by Feng Xin.

"Hey! Lay off! She never said all that, and no one would blame her for taking the help. It's not like Hua Cheng can't afford it anyway—"

"Oh, but when I suggested taking the money, I was the bad guy—"

"NO ONE SAID THAT! STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!"

"Guys," Xie Lian calls, clapping twice to get their attention. Shockingly, it works, and they turn to her with matching disgruntled expressions.

"I'm not taking San Niang's money. She has a plan."

"And are you going to fill us in on this plan or are we going to have to guess?" Mu Qing asks flatly.

Xie Lian scratches her cheek, sheepish. "Well, I don't know the details yet, but I–"

"And you're just taking her at her word?" Mu Qing interrupts.

Feng Xin scowls at the rudeness but when she looks at Xie Lian, even she seems to agree. "I don't know about this, Xie Lian. I know you like her and all, but this is a big deal. We just don't want you to get hurt."

Xie Lian pointedly ignores the way her face flames at that, and says stubbornly, "I trust her. She said she just needs time to get things ready. Whatever her plan is, I'll find out soon. Besides, what's the harm in hearing her out? Either I pack my things up now, or I pack things up later if the plan fails. It won't hurt me any more or less to wait."

The last line isn't quite true, but Xie Lian is drained and doesn't have the patience to deal with their usual suspicions towards Hua Cheng. Whether they believe or not, she's choosing to have faith. As terrifying as it is in this situation, trusting in Hua Cheng is still the easiest thing she's ever done.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing exchange dubious looks, but her logic is sound. Mollified for now, they nod and take their leave.

"Keep us posted," Feng Xin says as they hover by the door. "And hey, let us know when you need help packing. We'll swing by."

"What are you doing, offering for me? What if I have plans?"

"Oh, please, as if–"

"Ooookay, thank you both. Bye bye," Xie Lian says, forcing a smile as she shoos them away. The echoes of their shouting is audible even as they disappear around the corner.

Xie Lian sighs as she locks up. Despite their good intentions, she couldn't help but notice that Feng Xin had said when she needs help packing. Like the failure of her shop was a sure thing already. Taking a step back, Xie Lian examines her storefront, from the faded paint on the sign to the newly taped down plastic covering the window.

"Well, I can’t exactly blame her…" Xie Lian mumbles, already feeling gloomy again.

But then she remembers that San Niang would never give up on her, even when she gives up on herself.

Her wrist itches. She glances down as she rubs it, taking in the sight of a newly born peony. It's a soft, fragile thing, but still achingly beautiful. As she turns to make the trek back home, she takes comfort in the simple realization that one person is enough.

—

True to her word, Hua Cheng comes by the shop that Friday, a tablet under her arm. She’s still not entirely forthcoming about the details of her plan, only that she’s purchasing a large number of floral arrangements from Xie Lian for an upcoming art exhibition. She shows Xie Lian some rough sketches of faceless bodies and hastily drawn figures to give her an idea of what she needs, but provides no actual photos of the art pieces themselves. The whole thing is rather mysterious, and Hua Cheng’s behavior is a little strange whenever Xie Lian presses for detail, so Xie Lian decides to just focus on the work she can do for the time being. Hua Cheng has invited her to the exhibition, so she supposes she’ll find out soon enough anyway.

Under her friend’s careful instruction, Xie Lian weaves daisy crowns and nips the thorns off of long-stemmed roses. Some flowers are perfect as is, and just need to be wrapped for travel; others get gathered into bouquets, held in place by gorgeous silver clasps that Hua Cheng provides.

“San Niang, don’t take this the wrong way, but isn’t this normally the sort of thing you do yourself?” Xie Lian asks as she braids a few pliant stems together. The first few had been a little wonky, but with practice and Hua Cheng’s teaching, she had quickly gotten the hang of it.

Hua Cheng raises a brow. “Mm, sometimes. Why? Am I overworking you?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s only that I remember that you like to craft every part of your art yourself. I’m just surprised you’re letting me do it.”

She’s pretty sure it would also go a lot quicker if Hua Cheng was the one doing it, but she doesn’t voice that thought; if it keeps Hua Cheng around longer, she’s not about to complain.

“I would never let some bumbling fool lay a finger on my work, but jiejie is anything but that. My art can only be elevated by your involvement.”

“San Niang, ah… be serious.”

Hua Cheng clutches her chest. Xie Lian’s eyes linger on the lotus flower that spans the entire back of her hand. “Jiejie! I assure you, I am being serious. I am the most sincere person you will ever meet.”

Xie Lian huffs out a small laugh, but doesn’t disagree as she ducks her head and focuses on finishing up this crown and moving on to the next.

They continue to chat while they work. In an effort to keep from pestering Hua Cheng for more details about the show, Xie Lian asks a question that’s been on her mind for a while.

“San Niang, do you ever regret your tattoos?”

Hua Cheng’s hand pauses in her doodles, but her answer is immediate. “No, never.” She looks up from her tablet, her lone eye dark and enigmatic. “Why do you ask?”

Xie Lian hastily looks back down at her work. “Ah, just curious. It’s, um, hard not to think about those marks when working so much with flowers, you know?”

She hums her agreement. The weight of her stare prickles the back of Xie Lian’s neck; she slouches a little into her cardigan, praying that the itch is just from nerves and not errant blooms.

"Um, you said before that you don't plan on ever telling that person… is that still the case?"

That heavy gaze is finally torn away, settling on the distant wall instead. "...It's hard to say," Hua Cheng admits. "These things have a way of coming out on their own, regardless of our own intentions. I'm still not worthy of them, but if I could win them over some day… well, we all have dreams."

Xie Lian thinks of the love etched onto her skin, and wonders how anyone could not fall for someone like her. She admits as much verbally, voice feather-light.

Hua Cheng snorts, but she sounds fond even past the thick layer of self-deprecation. "You'd be surprised, jiejie, though it really shouldn't be so shocking. I'm a useless coward, especially when it comes to that person. When they need help the most, I'm always too slow. I have to improve myself if I want to win them over."

Somehow Xie Lian couldn't wrap her head around it. In her eyes, Hua Cheng is always there when she needs her the most, not a moment too late. Still, her self-loathing is too strong for Xie Lian to dent at the moment, so—with the mental note to remind her of how wonderful she is later—Xie Lian turns to another worry raised by their talk.

"What if the person you like most doesn't like you back?" she asks. She sets down her tools at last, curling her fingers into her sleeves.

It's a heavy question. The impropriety of it hits her immediately. "Sorry, you don't have to answer."

Hua Cheng just sits there, one brow raised. "So what?"

"Huh?"

"If the person I love most doesn't love me in return, that doesn't change anything," Hua Cheng says stubbornly. "My feelings aren't so fickle. Once I love something, it's forever."

She crosses her arms over her chest, drawing Xie Lian's eye to the tattoos there. "I won't ever regret getting this done because my love won't ever fade, and I could never regret loving this person."

Strangely, Xie Lian’s mind suddenly turns to her mother. Some of her most precious memories involved sitting in her mother’s lap and running her hands up and down her mother’s marked arms in awe; it had been one of the things that first sparked her interest in flowers, pointing to each one in turn and repeating the names her mother taught her. Tulip. Iris. Daffodil.

They had come and gone over the years, which had confused Xie Lian the first time it happened. She had approached her mother in tears, asking if it meant her parents didn’t love each other anymore.

“Lian’er, of course not. I love your father very much,” she had explained, wiping Xie Lian’s face with a handkerchief. “Look at the trees, my love. Tell me what you see.”

She frowned, staring at the branches. “I just see a tree. There are branches and leaves and a trunk.”

Her mother smiled. “Yes, but do you notice anything missing?”

Xie Lian squinted. “Oh! The magnolia flowers.”

“Mm. There are no flowers right now, but do we stop calling them magnolia trees? Do we doubt them just because they aren’t in bloom all year?”

“So Mama’s love is like the trees?”

“Exactly, my heart. I always love your father, come any season. Love is strong and steady like the trunk of these trees, supportive as their branches. And sometimes, all the love in my heart gets so full that I bloom just like the trees you see in the yard.”

“Whoa,” she whispered, awed. “So Mama’s a magnolia tree.”

Her mother tapped her chin, looking thoughtful. “Well, maybe more like the plum tree. After all, sometimes love bears fruit.”

“Fruit?”

With a twinkle in her eye, her mother scooped her up and swung her around. “You, my little plum! And I’m getting a little hungry right now.”

Xie Lian shrieked with laughter, their conversation momentarily forgotten in favor of play. But the words stuck with Xie Lian throughout her childhood well into adulthood.

She thinks of them now, turning them over in her mind and holding them up alongside Hua Cheng’s ideology. Both beautiful in their own right, and both made all the more precious for their difference. Some people, like her mother, are like the trees; some people, like Hua Cheng, are more like…

"A greenhouse," she blurts.

"Hm?"

Flushing a little, she continues, "San Niang is like a greenhouse. You keep pretty flowers all year long because your heart is so warm and nourishing."

"And because tattoo ink is permanent," Hua Cheng quips, fondness tugging at her grin. Xie Lian will likely be embarrassed about her words in the morning, but they're already out there, so she can't take them back.

"True, but I get the feeling they'd always be around. San Niang has such a loyal heart. I hope your beloved realizes how lucky they are."

Hua Cheng disagrees, but a timely phone call saves them both from arguing the matter. While she excuses herself to take it, Xie Lian continues with her work.

As she rolls stems between her fingers, Xie Lian wonders where she lands, if she takes after her mother or not. Her mind turns to the fleeting beauty of spring blossoms—of a little girl that once wished they could last forever. A girl who later became a florist, so she could admire the pretty flowers all year round.

—

The next few days trudge forward in a haze. Hua Cheng’s project cleaned out most of her stock, for which she'll be paid after the exhibition. It's a nice attempt, but even with Hua Cheng's habit of generous tipping, she knows it won't be enough to cover both the shop repairs and rent. She gets a cryptic text from Hua Cheng that implies her plan hasn't been seen through to completion yet; with it also comes her ticket to Hua Cheng’s show.

Xie Lian ends up borrowing a gorgeous (thankfully long-sleeved and high-collared) dress from Shi Qingxuan because she's the only one of her friends busty enough to have something that'll fit her figure. Despite the fact that her bad luck means she'll probably get a drink spilled on her by a clumsy waiter, Xie Lian can’t help but admire the ivory silk as she turns in the mirror. She pairs it with the only accessories she still has: a gold belt Feng Xin bought because it looked like one she used to own, and her mother's earrings. It's the latter's voice she hears as she struggles with a hairstyle, reminding her that a simple bun is timelessly classy. She twists her hair up and ignores the ache in her chest that the memory brings.

For once, Hua Cheng doesn't drive her, explaining she has to make sure everything is perfect during setup. She insists Xie Lian call her when she's outside the venue, but Xie Lian decides it'll be more fun to surprise her, so once she's out the cab, she walks right up to the door. She flashes her digital ticket to the doorman and is let in to the gallery.

There's a narrow wall just a few feet in, proudly bearing the title of the exhibition and the artist: Devotion by Crimson Rain.

Xie Lian smiles at the sign, endlessly proud of her friend's success; even without looking, she can hear the murmur of several guests along with the low classical music that plays from unseen speakers. No doubt an amazing turnout despite the short notice.

She rounds the corner and approaches the first statue. She stares, breath caught in her throat.

Standing tall and proud on its pedestal is a statue of herself, face turned up and eyes crinkling with her smile. A flower crown has been tucked carefully between her stone fingers and scalp, made to look at though she's trying to keep it from slipping off.

It's so beautiful that Xie Lian might not have even recognized it as herself, if not for the small dot on the back of the hand holding up the crown—so tiny as to be insignificant to most. She rubs her thumb over the birthmark on her own hand and walks in a daze over to another statue.

This one is smaller, curled in on itself as it weeps. It's her own face there contorted in grief, and the same birthmark sitting there on the back of her hand. The statue sits cross legged, and there's a pool of clear water in the divot formed by where her dress stretches across her legs. Lotuses float in the water, still and serene in contrast to Xie Lian the statue's despair.

Xie Lian the person feels neither of those things as she turns away. Her mind is racing, keeping pace with the pulse that thrums in her veins. The entire gallery is full of statues of her—some full size, some busts, and some just hands, but all undeniably her. All adorned with colorful flowers that stand out against the white marble. They breath into the statue versions of herself, making them smile and sigh and dance.

"Jiejie."

Xie Lian still feels dizzy as she turns, like she had been winded at the sight of that first statue and hasn't been able to catch her breath since. She forces herself to inhale deeply now, and when she exhales, out comes Hua Cheng's name like a sweet sigh, "San Niang."

Hua Cheng looks stunning decked out in her usual red, black, and silver, but her pinched brow distracts Xie Lian from admiring her outfit any further. She seems to have a hard time meeting Xie Lian's gaze, a rarity for her, and when she speaks, her voice is taut with nerves.

"I was hoping to meet with you outside first so I could… explain."

Xie Lian takes a step forward and smiles. "I'm here now, aren't I?"

Hua Cheng glances down at her before forcibly turning her face away, looking pained. Before it might have felt like a rejection, but with the word devotion still ringing in her head, Xie Lian isn't fooled.

"I understand if it's difficult to talk about, but I do have a few questions, if you'll indulge me," Xie Lian says gently, reaching out to touch one of Hua Cheng's clenched fists. She startles, dropping her arms and looking at Xie Lian with a wide eye before quickly composing herself.

"Of course. But let's go somewhere quieter. There's too many busybodies here."

Xie Lian can’t help but laugh. They pass clusters of people, socialites and critics who speak of technique and theme; one man murmurs in a haughty tone about "the juxtaposition of nature's ephemerality against the immortality of marble." Xie Lian ignores the commentary in favor of admiring every statue they pass, soaking in their details in the brief seconds she's allowed before they arrive at an office tucked away behind the main exhibition area. Hua Cheng shuts the door, then leans against the desk, arms crossed over her chest. She still looks tense, anxious even, but she tries to play it off.

"Ask away, jiejie."

Xie Lian glances back at the door, recalling the art she had seen up close and the ones she had only just glimpsed in passing. How many more were scattered about that she had yet to find? "There's so many statues here. More than I expected for such a last minute event," she remarks.

Hua Cheng lets out a noncommittal noise to show she's listening, but when she doesn't voluntarily offer up any more than that, Xie Lian pushes a little more.

"San Niang, are these the personal projects that you said your manager has been wanting you to sell?"

"They are."

Xie Lian has to take another deep breath to calm her racing heart, though the way Hua Cheng subtly flinches makes her hurry through her next question.

"And the title I saw in the front, that's the theme for this show?"

"En."

"I see. So would I be wrong to assume that’s how the artist felt while creating them?"

"Jiejie…"

"Please," she says. The back of her neck feels hot, her whole body like a live wire right now. She takes Hua Cheng's hand, watches her jolt like the spark got passed along. She squeezes her hand, hoping to transfer everything else she's feeling too.

"It is," Hua Cheng says, directing her words down at their joined hands. "...Although it would be more accurate to say that's how I always feel when I'm with my muse. When I'm talking to her, when I'm even just thinking about her."

"Your muse," she repeats, peering up at Hua Cheng through her lashes. "Your precious someone, right? That person is your beloved."

Whatever Hua Cheng sees in her eyes makes her shiver. “She is,” she whispers.

“Don’t you want to know how I feel about that?”

Gods, Hua Cheng looks so miserable as she pleads, “Could you not tell me?”

“I’m sorry, but something like this needs to be made clear.”

Clear enough to make her feelings known in an instant. Clear enough to wipe away that fearful, hesitant look that has no right to twist Hua Cheng’s countenance.

In that moment, heart pounding and skin tingling with warmth, the solution is obvious.

Xie Lian grips the fabric covering her left shoulder and yanks. The sleeve comes off easily, tearing right down the seam and then some. Xie Lian does the same to the other one and as soon as the fabric goes fluttering down, the bodice of her dress droops, exposing her chest and the edge of her bra.

“Jiejie!?!” Hua Cheng cries, pushing herself back in shock. She’s already leaned back against the desk though, so her flailing only succeeds in knocking a stapler and a stack of papers to the floor. She flusters, looking at a bemused Xie Lian then away then back again like she can’t decide whether she should look or not. In the end, she slaps a hand over her eye. She lets out a surprisingly high pitched chuckle.

“Not that I’m complaining, jiejie, but this is a little sudden, isn’t it?”

The realization sinks in; Xie Lian hastily presses the front of her dress to her chest, keeping it upright. Her face is bright red, but so are Hua Cheng’s ear. She forces past the embarrassment to tug Hua Cheng’s arm away.

“San Niang, that’s not— just look. At my arms, my skin.”

Hua Cheng cracks her eye open and peers at her. Xie Lian smiles.

“Look at what you’ve been doing to me these past few months.”

It finally sinks in as her eye flits over Xie Lian’s body, taking in the garden that’s grown on her skin.

“This is–” Hua Cheng’s hands hover briefly over her arms before settling down, rough and warm where they touch. Another spark jolts between them and Xie Lian’s neck prickles where more ivy unfurls. Hua Cheng exhales shakily.

“Jiejie… you’re really going to be the death of me.”

The step Xie Lian takes brings her closer into her arms, and Hua Cheng hugs her in a proper embrace. “Please don’t die. Not when I finally have this.”

When I finally have you, she thinks shyly.

Hua Cheng must read her mind because she chuckles, shaking her head. “Haven’t I made it clear already that I’ve always been yours? Even when you didn’t know it.”

Neither of them move but the space between them seems to shrink, imperceptible and yet somehow thick enough to taste. Xie Lian starts to bite her lip, then stops, quickly realizing that there are other things she’d rather be doing with her lips.

“San Niang…”

Their first kiss is a slow, gentle thing. It’s the quiet unfurling of primrose petals, the light perfume of fresh jasmine. Kissing Hua Cheng is the thrill of changing seasons, like feeling the first crisp breeze of autumn or the shy peek of spring after the frost melts.

With their second, Xie Lian blooms.

They part with a sigh. "San Niang," she whispers. "My San Niang…"

"My heart," Hua Cheng whispers and oh, Xie Lian's can't remember the last time she's felt so full of happiness. She feels ecstatic enough to burst, but instead she just smiles until her cheeks hurt.

Hua Cheng steps away to peel off her blazer. She drapes it over Xie Lian's shoulders. "Let me take you home?"

"But your show…"

"It's fine. I showed my face already. Yin Yu will forward your half of the money once everything is sold."

"Wait, what?" Xie Lian frowns up at her, trying not to get distracted by how her lipstick is smudged from their kissing. "What do you mean, my half?"

"Ah, I meant to explain that part too. Forgive me, jiejie, I was… distracted." Her eyes drift to Xie Lian's mouth, then dart lower before snapping back up to her eyes. Xie Lian fights back a blush.

"As I'm sure you already noticed, the flowers all came from your shop. So that means you contributed to every piece out of there. As co-creator, you're entitled to a cut of the profits. Think of it as your payment for both the flowers and your labor."

Xie Lian's fingers twist in the lapels of the blazer, uncertain. "But I didn't… San Niang, what I did is nothing compared to your sculpting."

Hua Cheng shakes her head. "No, the fresh flowers were crucial to my artistic vision. Without them, they would all be cold chunks of stone, no different from anything else I've made. Believe me when I say I've never been so happy with a collection before. So let me pay you for your contribution. It's only right."

While Xie Lian stands there floundering, Hua Cheng rummages through the messy pile of paperwork on the desk. After some searching, she finds what she's looking for and passes it to Xie Lian.

"This is a conservative estimated profit to be made today, though it'll likely be higher given that a few pieces were already bought outright before I even found you."

Xie Lian sucks in a sharp breath. There was once a point in her life where that many 0's was normal to her, but now? Now she has to lean against the desk to steady herself.

"That's… quite a lot."

"En. And half of it is yours."

"San Niang, I…"

Hua Cheng takes her hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, then another over her tiny freckle of a birthmark. "Let me pay you for your work, jiejie. Please, let me do this much for you at least. It's enough, isn't it? With this you can repair your shop and pay the rent for a while longer until we can find you a better location."

It is enough. Her face feels hot.

"You— you're willing to sell your private collection?" For me?

Hua Cheng cups her warm cheeks, thumbs catching a few fat tears before they can properly fall. "None of it would exist in the first place if not for you, my muse. If taking a hammer and smashing it all to pieces would somehow help you, I'd do it. Selling it and giving you your fair share is the very least I can do."

"San Niang…" She throws her arms around her in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you."

Lips press to the top of her head. "No need to thank me, jiejie. I just want you to be happy."

Xie Lian starts to nuzzle into her neck, only to belatedly remember her makeup. She pulls back instead to smile at Hua Cheng. "Ah, it would make me very happy if you spent the night with me."

At the sight of Hua Cheng's arched brow, Xie Lian sputters and quickly corrects herself. "To sleep, I mean! Not for— I mean, not that I'm saying we can't— well, um, I was thinking we could just watch a movie and cuddle, really…"

She trails off as Hua Cheng bursts into sweet, ringing laughter. "Ah, jiejie, what am I going to do with you?" she sighs happily, hugging her tighter. "I'd love to come over."

Stifling giggles, they sneak out of the venue hand in hand. The evening is cool, but with Hua Cheng's blazer on her shoulders and her kisses on her lips, Xie Lian feels perfectly warm.

—

The bell isn't set up above the door yet, but the person who walks into the shop still jingles, chains and bangles tinkling as she walks.

"Jiejie?" she calls.

"In the back!"

The new space is much bigger than the last. Hua Cheng maneuvers around stacks of supplies and empty fridges towards the backroom. There Xie Lian stands, admiring the fancy new hydroponics system Hua Cheng bought her as a celebratory gift for her shop's re-opening in the new location.

She wraps her arms around Xie Lian's waist, hugging her from behind. She props her chin on her shoulder. "You like it?"

"I'm so excited to start growing things here," Xie Lian admits, squeezing her arm. She turns her head and pecks her girlfriend's cheek. "Thank you again, San Niang."

Hua Cheng pouts. "I don't know, jiejie, I'm not really feeling your gratitude. Not like I did the other night when you—"

"San Niang!" Xie Lian sputters out a laugh, turning in her hold to cup her face and kiss her soundly on the lips. "Is that better?"

"Mm, much better. I could still use a bit convincing though."

Because the front door doesn't jingle, there's no warning at all when Mu Qing and Feng Xin barge in on them making out.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"SERIOUSLY?!"

Xie Lian jumps, but Hua Cheng's grip on her remains tight, keeping her close. "Ahaha, hey guys, I didn't expect you so early."

"You said 2pm. It's 2:08," Mu Qing informs her.

"Ah, is it that time already? My mistake, my mistake, ahaha…"

"Take your key back. I don't want it if it means I have to walk in on this," Mu Qing says, nose wrinkling.

Hua Cheng scoffs, but Xie Lian rushes to mediate before she can let loose the sharp retort waiting on her tongue.

"Well, thank you for coming! Unpacking should go by a lot faster with the three of us working together."

Feng Xin gives Hua Cheng a look. "Why only three? Isn't she going to help?"

"I have a special assignment from jiejie," she says smugly.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing look appalled.

"She's painting," Xie Lian hurriedly explains. "Since there's that big white wall towards the front, San Niang offered to paint a mural. She already sketched out a design, and I think it'll look really nice. I was thinking maybe we could post pictures of it online to encourage people to check out the new location."

"...That's not a bad idea," Mu Qing admits reluctantly.

"So she gets to play with paints while we do the manual labor?" Feng Xin gripes. Hua Cheng just sways, looking smug.

"San Niang is the only one of us that's artistically inclined, so yes. Besides, it'll be easy between the three of us. Remember when we had to move all of your furniture up to the fifth floor when you moved?"

"Ugh, that took all day."

"It was hellish."

"This will be a breeze compared to that! Now come, let's get to it."

Xie Lian's optimism proves true. Over the next few hours, they clean and move furniture and arrange supplies, all while Hua Cheng blocks out her design in big swaths of color. The little they don't manage to finish before dinner gets taken care of the next day.

It takes Hua Cheng three days to finish the mural. The result is a stunning arrangement of flowers and butterflies that breathes life into the still mostly empty space.

"It's beautiful," Xie Lian praises, approaching to admire the details.

“Not as beautiful as it could be,” Hua Cheng said with a sigh, leaning against the front counter.

Xie Lian shoots her an exasperated glance over her shoulder. “It would have been too embarrassing if I let you paint me. This is nice.”

“Whatever you say, jiejie.”

“Come stand in front of it. I want to take a picture.”

Hua Cheng raises a brow, though she did straighten up at the request. “Shouldn’t the owner be the one posing for photos?”

“The artist deserves to be in the pictures too,” Xie Lian insists, waving her into place. She holds up her phone. “Really, I wouldn’t have any of this without you, so in a way, this place is kind of yours too, isn’t it?”

“I could never take credit for your hard work,” she says, though she too looks a little soft at the sound of it— something being theirs.

“We’ll take it together then."

They press together cheek to cheek for a selfie. Xie Lian knows right away they'll have to retake it; their faces take up the entire frame and their smiles are too dopey to be anything but lovestruck. It's no good for social media.

Hua Cheng immediately makes it her lock screen. Xie Lian does the same.

That night, Xie Lian stares at her phone until the screen goes dark. She presses the button to light it up again and stares some more. Each time, her eyes focus on something different— the curve of their smiles, the colors on their shoulders. She marvels at how openly they wear their joy when they're together and how boldly they display their love.

Every time she clicks, the light from her phone screen illuminates her skin. A small part of her likes to imagine the glow is nourishing for the huā pí, not unlike a grow lamp. And maybe if she nurtures it, takes a few minutes every day to care and reflect, they’ll always be this bright and beautiful. The little girl in her— the one that used to cry when flowers wilted, the one that became a gardener, and a florist— wants to try.

A tree out in the wild, bending and swaying with the seasons.

A delicate orchid in a greenhouse, shielded from the elements.

Xie Lian still isn’t quite sure where she lands, but she’s always had quite the green thumb. It’s gotten her this far. As she brushes her fingers over her neck, she decides she’d like to see where else it can take her.

The phone goes dark again. She clicks the screen back to life.

Being in love, Xie Lian thinks as she slowly drifts off to sleep, is a good look for her.