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The thing that tormented Percy the most was that he didn’t know when it happened.
Even after he had warned Percy of the dangers of not giving people a second thought, Percy hadn’t noticed anything changing during the quest.
Now, he was back at camp, and things were chaotic, what with all the dead no one knew what to do with, and people running back and forth as they rebuilt.
“At least bringing back the Athena Parthenos worked,” Percy commented as he and Annabeth helped with clearing some of the ruined crops from the strawberry fields. “We have to thank Nico properly.”
It wasn’t something he particularly looked forward to. Last time he had tried Nico had just brushed him off.
“Who?” Annabeth asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Nico,” Percy repeated. Maybe Annabeth had been thinking about some architectural marvel and hadn’t heard him. “The statue is here because of him.”
“Percy, are you okay?” She asked in worry. “Reyna and coach Hedge brought the Athena Parthenos back.”
“Yeah, with Nico.” At his girlfriend’s confused expression, Percy started to worry. “You know, Nico di Angelo? The son of Hades?”
“The only di Angelo I know of is Bianca, Percy,” she said slowly. “And she died years ago.”
Percy felt as if he was standing at the edge of an abyss.
“Come on, Annabeth, this isn’t funny,” he said, voice trembling. “You know Nico. He… he helped us in the Labyrinth, he was the one who found out about the curse of Achilles he… Bob helped us because of him!”
Annabeth seemed more and more worried with every word that came out of his mouth.
“I’ve been with you through all that,” Annabeth reminded him gently. Percy took a step back. She talked to him the same way Clarisse used to talk to Chris after they found him in the Labyrinth. “But I’ve never met any Nico.”
“I… you know Nico,” he insisted. “He’s a couple years younger than us, black hair, dark eyes, he has this silly crush on you!”
“Maybe we should go rest at the Infirmary,” she suggested. And yeah, Percy felt sick, but not for the reasons she thought. “At least until Mr. D is back and can take a look at you.”
“I’m not crazy, Annabeth!” Percy screeched, probably not helping his case. “I… I need to go talk to Hazel”
“Percy, wait!” Annabeth called, but he was already sprinting towards the Big House, where he had last seen the daughter of Pluto.
“Then how did you come back?” Percy asked, desperate. “Who brought you back from the dead?!”
Hazel was looking at him with the same worried look Annabeth had. Maybe starting the conversation with 'Annabeth has forgotten all about Nico' hadn’t been that smart, but the more he talked the more confused and scared Hazel seemed.
“Thanatos had been taken Percy,” she reminded him. “It was easy for me to break out.”
“So you did it on your own?” Percy kept asking. Hazel shrugged.
“My memory of coming back is not that great,” Hazel said simply. “But after meeting him… I think it was my father who helped me.”
“He wasn’t!” Percy didn’t care if he raised his voice. “It was Nico, Hazel! Nico brought you back!”
“Percy, stop!” Frank said, using his new musculature to cover her from Percy’s view. “You’re making her uncomfortable!”
Percy stumbled back. It was not possible. He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t be erased from everyone’s memories but his.
And if that was the case, why only his?
“What’s going on?” Reyna asked, coming out of the Big House.
“Reyna!” He exclaimed, panicked. Reyna’s eyes widened in surprise. “How did you and coach Hedge move the Athena Parthenos all the way from Epirus?”
Reyna looked confused and glanced at Frank, who shrugged.
“He’s convinced you had help from some guy named Nico.”
“You must be confused, Percy,” she said. “Hedge and I used some magic to transport the statue to camp with jumps.”
“Can you do it now?” Percy’s hands were shaking. “How did you do that magic?”
Reyna frowned and put her finger on her lips, as if trying to recall. Percy felt a sliver of hope swell in him.
“I can’t,” she finally said. “I think it was a blessing from Hecate after you guys defeated Clytius. Temporary stuff.”
Percy wanted to scream.
“Percy!” Annabeth said, approaching them. “Please just… let Will or some Apollo kid check on you.”
“I’m not crazy!” He said again. “Nico is… Nico is your brother Hazel. He’s my friend! He… he’s real…”
“I’m sure you believe he’s real,” Reyna said carefully. She looked at him, analyzing him like a microbe under a microscope. “Sometimes, when we’re stressed or overworked, we begin remembering things that never happened, or in your case, people that no one else remembers.”
“But I—”
“Maybe Reyna is right, Percy,” Annabeth said. “You have been under so much stress since you disappeared and now… well, it’s all crashing down.”
Percy shook his head over and over.
“I… maybe I need a rest,” he accepted. Annabeth smiled at him in relief. “I… I’m sorry, Hazel.”
“It’s okay, Percy, we’re all feeling pretty stressed, what with the giants, and Gaia and… Leo…” her voice choked as she tried to hold back her tears. Frank hugged her.
“I… I’ll be in my cabin if anyone needs me.”
Once, when he was twelve, everyone in school had forgotten his math teacher. It turned out that the reason for that was Mist manipulation, and both Grover and Chiron, under his Mr. Brunner disguise, knew the truth.
This time it was different. He had tried being subtler about it. He had hinted about children of Hades to Chiron, reminiscing about Westover Hall with Grover, even asking the Stolls when the Camp store started selling Mythomagic cards, but they all had answers or explanations that didn’t mention Nico.
For the last couple of weeks, it had been as if the Son of Hades never truly existed.
He couldn’t even mention him anymore. If he revealed he still believed Nico was real, they would take him to Mr. D, and maybe he could actually erase his memory for good.
It would be Nico’s final death.
The thought made his chest hurt like nothing else had. Losing Nico already felt awful, but not even remembering him… only the thought made him feel as if a part of himself was ripped apart as painfully as possible.
“You’ve been different since Gaia’s defeat,” Annabeth said in worry. Percy was on high alert. Had he mentioned Nico in any way? “More jumpy, less talkative.”
Percy relaxed.
“We lost too much,” he said vaguely. Her mind would go to Leo, and it was right to do so, but in his mind, he could only picture the dark boy with eyes as deep as the abyss. “I need… time.”
“Time to process or… time from us?” She asked quietly. Percy turned to look at her, not even feeling any shock at her words. “You have been pulling away from me, too. Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” Percy said honestly. “This is all me, it’s a problem that only affects me.”
Before, the idea of breaking up with Annabeth was heart-wrenching and unthinkable, but at the moment, he could only feel relief at one less thing to worry about.
His mind was too filled with Nico and his disappearance to care about a girlfriend.
“Can’t I help in any way?” she asked quietly.
Percy shook his head. There was nothing she could do to bring back Nico.
Bring back…
He blinked, wondering why he hadn’t thought of that earlier.
“It’s something I have to do myself,” he said. He stood up. “Goodbye, Annabeth.”
She could interpret it as them breaking up, and maybe it was, but the true meaning was only Percy’s to know.
He didn’t know if he would survive this.
“How many times do you think a hero can sneak in here and come back alive?” Hades asked, bored. “Or are you here with some new tricks to try and mock me again, nephew?”
Percy took a step towards the throne, looking defiant.
“No tricks this time, Lord Uncle,” Percy said, trying to remain polite. “I’m here for an exchange.”
“Let me guess, you want me to bring back the son of Hephaestus for a promise of a temple or something equally worthless.” Hades started fiddling with his robes, making the souls of the damned whimper.
“I offer you my soul, for Nico di Angelo’s.”
And Percy might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was paying attention. He saw Hades’s eyes widen, and his expression turn into one of pure pain at the mention of his son. Percy smiled at the confirmation that his friend, his… his Nico existed.
“I have no such soul in the Underworld,” Hades said, looking bored again. “Since there’s no deal, I guess you’ll be my guest in the dungeons again.”
“He’s your son!” Percy shouted angrily. “I know you remember him! Why… why are we the only ones who do so?”
He felt relief, and that relief just made all his despair come out.
Percy was crying in front of the Lord of the Dead, and he didn’t care.
Hades sighed and stood up from his throne.
“Some of my children are blessed with control over dead bodies, or ghosts, or maybe ores,” he said as he moved closer to Percy. “A few unlucky ones, are blessed with control over darkness.”
“Shadow Travel?” Percy guessed, sniffling. Hades nodded.
“To Shadow Travel, my children turn one with the shadows,” he explained. “And sometimes, they can get careless, leave parts of them behind, lose themselves in them. It happens when they do it too often, or with too much weight.”
“Like with the Athena Parthenos,” Percy finished. “So, Nico’s alive? Just lost in the Shadows? Why doesn’t anyone remember him?”
“Shadows are the ultimate confirmation of the self,” he said. “To have a shadow is to reaffirm that you exist. There’s no such thing as a shadow that doesn’t belong to a body, and so when my children get lost in them, has become just that… nothing.”
Percy took in the information, trying to imagine what Nico must feel, trapped and forgotten.
“I remember him because the shadows are part of my domain,” he continued, then he glared at Percy. “The real question, Perseus Jackson, is why you remember him.”
Percy wasn’t sure why, so he didn’t answer.
“Is there a way to bring him back?” He asked instead. “He doesn’t deserve this!”
“And are you willing to pay the price, little hero?” Hades had a sadistic smirk in place. “You might wish you had forgotten him like the rest.”
Percy shook his head.
“Never,” Percy said, with all the conviction he felt. “I don’t know why I alone remember Nico, but I would never want to forget him.”
Hades looked at him unimpressed before producing a flask. Percy blinked as a bright light shone on him, making his shadow more defined. Hades scooped part of the shadow into the item and corked it up.
“A Shadow needs to bind to something with substance,” he said. “You will become that substance. Your life and my child’s will be entwined from now on… if you choose to.”
“What does that mean?” Percy asked, confused.
“From now on, your life won’t be your own anymore,” he said. “If either of you die, the other will follow soon enough, and until he grows strong enough, he will have to remain close to you, feeding off your essence, making you weaker.”
Hades smiled again.
“A long, painful process,” he continued. “There’s no reward from doing this, no glory to be had. Even then, will you—”
Percy nabbed the flask and uncorked it, before tipping his head back and drinking it.
“You talk too much, Uncle,” Percy said, grinning. “I don’t care about a reward, as long as Nico— urk!”
Percy grabbed his throat, then his chest, his stomach. It was like he was being Ice Burned from the inside out.
Hades sighed and looked at him without much interest.
“Reckless and idiotic,” he said, shaking his head. As he lost consciousness, he swore he heard the god of the Underworld mutter, “What did he ever see in you?”
Percy knew he was in his cabin, hugging something in his sleep. Its temperature was cool and soothing against the summer heat, so he pressed closer, making the object squeak.
He lazily opened one eye, only to see Nico, his missing friend, all red and looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Nico!” He exclaimed, now fully awake. Nico fell off the bed and took a few steps back, probably intending to run away into the shadows, but as soon as he took more distance, Percy saw it.
The edges of Nico’s frame started to blur and turn smoky.
Percy stood up and ran towards him, holding him by the shoulders.
“Oh no, mister!” He said angrily. “You don’t get to disappear again after all I went through!”
“Dis… Percy, how am I here? I… this was supposed to be it for me.” Nico said, confused. He tried making distance again, but Percy’s hold turned into a vice grip.
“Let’s just say I had some help from your dad,” Percy said, grinning. “I’ll explain everything later, but until this thing I did sets, you need to remain close to me. No running away.”
“‘Sets’? Am I a bowl of Jell-o or something?” Nico asked, halfway between amused and offended.
“Yup, and I’d be the fridge,” he said with as much seriousness as he could muster. “Also, if you die, I die so… let’s remain close together for now.”
Nico looked horrified.
“I did this to prevent your death, you dumbass!” Nico said angrily. “And you just go and put it on the line again? What’s wrong with you?!”
“You think I would just be happy knowing someone important to me was left alone, suffering and forgotten?” Percy asked rhetorically. “I had to do this!”
“Ugh, you are so frustrating, Perseus Jackson!” Nico said, turning around. Before Percy could ask, he just glared at him from the corner of his eye. “I may have to be close to you, but that doesn’t mean I have to see you!”
“Fine, be that way!” Percy said before stumbling to the ground. Nico was at his side in a second. “Woah, I feel really tired and hungry all of a sudden.”
“Percy…” he said, shaking his head. “Just what on earth did you do?”
“Percy?” A new voice sounded. Both of them turned to see an image of Hazel, looking anxious. “You might have been on to something! I… Frank still doesn’t remember but… I had a brother, didn’t I? I… I remember him…”
Percy nudged Nico, who was hiding underneath the bed. He glared at him before standing up and waving awkwardly.
“H-hey, Hazel,” he mumbled. The daughter of Pluto’s eyes widened.
“Nico!” Hazel cried, almost breaking the connection by moving to close to the image. “I’m sorry I forgot you! I’m the worst sister ever, I—”
“You wouldn’t have remembered me even if you tried,” Nico interrupted her. “I was gone from everyone’s memories.”
“Not Percy’s…” she sniffled.
Nico’s eyes widened.
“It was a special case!” Nico hurried to tell her. “It had nothing to do with you!”
Percy watched as Nico consoled his sister as he went to his drawer and opened up a protein bar. Just looking at him, so worried, so alive, was making Percy’s stomach do somersaults.
“Welcome back, Nico,” he whispered, going for another bite before discovering he had already eaten the whole thing.
The return to normal was gradual.
Even with ten hours of sleep and very big meals, Percy still felt like he wasn’t eating or sleeping enough. Nico however, seemed more powerful by the day, being able to get further away from him and even eating his own meals starting the fourth day.
The more Percy ate and rested, the more Nico was remembered. At first, the campers just looked curiously at the guy who seemed glued to Percy’s side, especially after the news of his breakup had spread, but with time, other people started recalling Nico, and everyone seemed too embarrassed to admit that, for a few weeks, they had completely forgotten the son of Hades.
The first to recognize Nico was Jason, with Reyna and coach Hedge coming soon after. It seemed that the closer Nico had been to them, the quicker their memories returned.
“But that still doesn’t explain why I remembered you all along,” Percy said. Nico remained quiet. “You have an idea, don’t you?”
Nico pressed his lips, but eventually nodded.
“I think it was my fault,” he said, voice thin. “Back then, after bringing the Athena Parthenos and… the stuff I did with my powers, I knew I was fading, that I would become nothing but a shadow. I… my last thoughts were of you.”
“M-me?” Percy asked, feelings his cheeks grow hotter.
“D-don’t take it the wrong way!” He said quickly. “I wanted you to be safe, just like everyone else on board the Argo II! So, I… I may have subconsciously wished to be yours— your shadow, I mean.”
Now Percy understood why Hades had scooped part of his shadow for the ritual. He had known right from the start where Nico was.
But the pain, the longing, that hadn’t stopped just because Nico was no longer within his shadow, no longer forgotten.
Those feelings had come from Percy, and Percy alone.
Because they were even stronger now that Nico was here, but as surly with him as ever.
“You know, I never realized how important you were to me until you were gone,” he said conversationally. “And I’m about to turn the next few days to months really awkward until you can get away from me.”
Nico raised an eyebrow.
“Why?”
Instead of answering, Percy pressed his lips against Nico’s. The son of Hades smelled like mint, with a smoky tint that may come from the fact that he was still not fully ‘there’.
“That’s why,” he said once he pulled back. “Don’t ever leave like that again.”
Nico covered his face with his hands, avoiding looking at Percy.
Percy, not knowing what to do, started to ramble.
“Like, I know I just ruined everything, and you can stay away from me if you want once you’re strong enough but, don’t ever disappear like that… at least, leave a memory behind.”
Nico turned away from him. Percy sighed in disappointment, but Nico surprised him by leaning back against his chest.
“Maybe… maybe my thoughts meant a little more than just becoming your shadow,” he admitted quietly.
Percy just observed him for a few seconds before snaking his arms around him.
“And maybe I want to be yours just as much.”
Nothing else was said. They stayed like that, in Percy’s cabin for a while, until his stomach growled in protest again.