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She hissed at the feeling of cold air hitting the naked skin of her legs. She stood by the small lake alone due to the fact that she supposedly went to wash up. The real reason was to check on the wound on her side which during the last few hours felt like it was burning.
Two days ago, by accident, she took part in a small fight. But she didn’t regret it at all. When she and Uhtred's men stayed in a village, some locals drank a bit too much and chose the wrong person to infuriate.
She was talking to Osferth, like she always did, but then, two tall and dark-haired men, not very subtly tried to insinuate that she was too pretty to be talking to Osferth. He only shook his head.
“Pay them no mind.” He whispered.
She attempted to ignore them, but after a few minutes, they insisted that Osferth went to sit elsewhere. After he, yet again, took no notice of their words, they grabbed him by his collar and forcefully raised him up from his chair. Then it was all a blur. Osferth punched them. She punched them. They punched back. She remembers the sight of a knife swinging, then Uhtred’s loud voice. He and Finan stopped the brawl.
Now, two days later, the wound from the muddy knife started to seem infected.
She rolled up the fabric to reveal the pale skin of her stomach. She didn’t know much about medicine, but it did not look to be healing. She heard ruffling behind her, immediately turning around in fear.
“Oh! Sorry, I-” Osferth stumbled over his words, raising his arms in defeat.
Seeing her in only a thin layer of clothing, he stared at her in awe. Composing himself, he stood sideways, his cheeks turning dark red.
“I apologize. I only meant to inform you that we are leaving in a quarter of an hour.” He looked down at his shoes, visibly embarrassed.
He waited for her to scold him for breaching her privacy.
“Actually, can you help me?” Her voice cut through the silence.
He looked at her again. He could not refuse assisting her. He liked the girl. Adored her.
But he should not look at her. Not the way he did. He gawked at her half naked body. His cheeks becoming even more cherry-red. He felt his heart skipping a beat.
“Whatever could I help you with?” He asked, still standing a few meters away. Not moving a muscle.
A part of him, the rational part, wanted him to never step closer. Especially not now. Not now, when he wished for nothing more than to taste her lips.
“Can you tell if it’s infected?” Her voice was so quiet. So delicate. It barely reached Osferth’s ears.
She almost changed her mind when the man remained motionless. After all, she was bare, vulnerable. Osferth was a man of honour and a gentle person, would he as much as stand next to her? Right in this moment?
Before she could blink, he was just an arm reach away.
He knew what it meant.
He was fucked.
Once again, she rolled the fabric of her shirt. Osferth never looked away from her eyes. Not until the eye contact became too much for her and she lost her gaze somewhere in the line of the trees, behind Osferth.
The man slightly leaned down and was met with the sight of a small wound.
She tried not to focus on the faint feeling of his fingers. Now, not only the cut was burning, but also every part of her where their skins met.
“You cannot tell a soul about this.” She said suddenly. Their eyes met again.
Osferth raised his eyebrows.
“About the cut. They needn’t to worry.”
“Is it from the…”
“Yes.”
His fingers remained on her side. She got hurt fighting for his safety.
“I’m sorry.”
“Tis not your fault.”
He smiled slightly.
With every second, the air seemed to become hotter and hotter.
“It does not look infected. But it does need a bit of cleaning.” He informed after a while of silence.
“Thank you.” She expected to loose the feeling of his touch.
But that did not happen.
Instead, he straightened his back, his eyes still glued to her stomach. His hand started to escalade. Slowly, but the effect it had on her terrified the girl.
Y/N felt her ears burn with redness. She stared at his face wide-eyed in shock.
When his fingers caressed the side of her breast, she felt her heart stop.
Then, something snapped inside of Osferth. He grabbed her, harsher than before and crashed his lips onto hers. She did not expect the ever so religious Osferth kiss her at all, let alone this passionately. After a second she started to kiss back, seizing the back of his neck. Her head felt dizzy.
Her hands went to hold his burning face when his other arm brought her even closer.
Of course she thought about kissing Osferth. Sometimes she stared at him, sitting across from him. His face in the dim light of the fire flames. She would gaze at the way he smiled, wishing his curved lips were on her. She would watch his broad back, the shape of his arms, his hands. Even when she didn’t realize. No matter the situation, her eyes always found a way to look at the man.
Osferth was no better. Recently, he had to pray in the middle of the night. When they had to sleep next to each other. He could not fall asleep, because of his hammering heart. The peaceful sight of her, made his soul ache. His thoughts betrayed him and crossed paths he considered wrongful. Against the rational part of his mind, he imagined what it would feel like to lay closer to her. So close that her breath would mix with his own. What it would feel like to make her breath hitch in her throat. To kiss every part of her skin that he could find. To hear her say things so, so filthy…
The moment he realized how sinful his thoughts were, he got up and went for a walk. To breathe. He prayed. He begged for forgiveness, but with every word he found himself asking not for his lust to stop. But he prayed just for her love. For his feeling to be returned. Then he apologized to God, for his chaotic mind. He tried to convince himself that it was just a difficult night.
Next day he woke up and felt lighter. Since then, he tried so hard to restrain himself from thoughts like these.
She had to prevent herself from moaning when he pressed her against his body even harder.
The way she kissed him felt even more pleasurable than he imagined.
God, her lips.
God…
God-
He pulled away suddenly. Her lips were swollen and wet. She looked so perfect. No.
“I’m sorry. I-…” He stepped a few feet away, not meeting her gaze. “I should not have done that. I can’t”
She couldn’t look him in the eyes either. Instead she stared at the cross on his chest.
Without another word, he left her. She stared at the space were Osferth just stood. She felt tears in her eyes, but blinked them away.
***
“Are you here alone, girl?” A man asked her.
“She’s with me.” Osferth informed. He appeared out of nowhere, laying his hand on her shoulder protectively.
In the alehouse, sitting away from the rest of the group, she was alone, indeed. Osferth has been evading her since the day by the lake. She has been avoiding talking to him too. She felt hurt and a little angry. Angry that he left her like that. That for a second she let herself enjoy the thought of having Osferth. She was mourning something that she never had.
Maybe she was angry at herself.
Osferth on the other hand, felt ashamed, not only for loosing himself in his feelings, but also for hurting Y/N. He left her at the lake, half naked and heart-broken.
“Fuck God.” Finan said to Osferth after he told the man how he felt.
“What? You can’t say that!”
“If God is stopping you from being with her, then fuck him.”
“I was to be fully devoted to God.” Osferth protested.
“Fuck that.” Finan laughed.
“It’s not only that. Don’t you think she would want someone… Fitter for her?” He looked at the ground.
Seeing the confused look on his friend’s face, he continued.
“Braver? Stronger maybe?”
“You’re an idiot. She’s completely crazy about you. And you are brave. Strong? I’m not sure, but brave – yes. Don’t think only about yourself and your God. Think of her. Don’t you want to make her content? From what I know, she would be content with you.” With that, he hit Osferth’s back.
“She’s with you?” The man asked.
“Is that a problem to you?” Osferth asked with a serious face.
The man just groaned and frowned, after a few more seconds he left. For the first time in days Osferth dared to glance at her face. She didn’t even look in his direction. With a bored expression her gaze remained on the drink in her hand.
He slid into the chair next to her.
“I’m sorry.” He said. His words merely a whisper, it barely reached her ears.
The sound of his apologetic voice forced her to look at him. His body gave the expression like he wanted nothing more than to hold her. She shifted a little closer.
“What are you sorry about?” She asked quietly.
“For kissing you. Confusing you.”
She frowned and looked down.
“Oh.”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you out of nowhere, without expressing how I feel first. I should not have left you at the lake, but I felt horrible. I was confused myself. I’m supposed to be utterly devoted to God.”
Oh.
“I understand.” She shifted back.
She wanted to leave. To get away from him. To not see his ethereal face again.
“No, I don’t think you do.” He slowly embraced her hand and brought it to his heart. “There are two things I cannot live without. Faith and you. But if it wasn’t in God’s will for me to love you, he wouldn’t make it so effortless. If he wants to stop me – stop us – he can try. My feelings are stronger than God himself.” He stopped for a second.
He finally noticed the tears in her eyes. The small smile on her lips.
Under her palm, she felt fast and intense beating of his heart. Unsteady rhythm, the sign that this was real.
She was too stunned to say a word. Any sound would get stuck in her throat.
“I would be the most grateful man if you gave me a second chance. To make things right this time.”
She finally moved, bringing his face to hers. She kissed him.
This time it wasn’t so lustful and hungry. It was sweet, delicate, loving. When they pulled away for much needed air, he saw her blushed cheeks and her cheery smile.
Her smile.
She leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes.
“You always make things right, in the end.”