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Dean had been prepared like he knew he was going to die on the hunt. He had made sure to write a goodbye note and leave his precious amulet inside. He had needed Castiel, but Cas hadn’t come, hadn’t turned up when he most needed him. It was up to Dean to do it alone and he knew he wouldn’t be coming back. That was how he found himself, praying one last time to Castiel in hopes that the angel would rescue him. Nothing happened as the blade that he was facing head on sliced through his chest, through his heart. The world suddenly came to a stand still, his eyes watering with the pain and sadness as he starts to cave and fall on his knees. Blood pouring out of the wound and his mouth as the world suddenly goes black. Death had descended upon Dean Winchester….Dean was dead.
...
Castiel was currently curled on an armchair in Heaven’s library, Dean’s goodbye note crumpled and tear stained on the floor, the amulet clutched into Castiel’s hands as though if he prayed hard enough Dean would still be alive. It was Castiel’s fault, he knew that. He was to blame that Dean had died. He should have listened, paid more attention to the rather pleading prayers. He had only thought Dean was there to use him, he hadn’t meant to ignore him, but he did and now Dean had died. Castiel was to blame.
He had been in Heaven under Naomi's watchful gaze, not letting him out of her site when a fellow angel had come up to him and taken him away from Naomi for just a moment. It was a relief for Castiel up until the blow that the angel had given him, not physically but mentally. Three words, it took only three words...Dean was Dead for Castiel to feel like his whole world had just crumbled beneath him. To have him fall on his knees and break down, to feel his entire body shake with pain. All in front of his fellow angels was a sin itself, Angels weren’t supposed to feel like Castiel did but at that moment he didn’t care. Dean was dead.
Castiel was in shock, he knew that. It was a shock to find out that Dean had died and with only the note as a goodbye. Cas hated it, hated the world and his father. He continues sobbing as he falls to his knees, now staring at the black headstone with the word Dean Winchester written on it. It wouldn’t sink in, it was like being in a dream, a nightmare. He continues sitting on his knees, his arms wrapped around the headstone as he sobs into it. There was so much he hadn’t told Dean, so much that they hadn’t done together. So much that Castiel wanted to say.
“I’m so sorry Dean….I failed you. “ He mutters, wiping away the tears from his eyes and sitting back a little. He had to get this off his chest, “I fail everyone….I didn’t mean to fail you too. I..I should've listened to your prayers, Dean...I should never have ignored you.” It was harder then Castiel thought, talking to a headstone that wasn’t able to talk back though a part of him did feel a sense of calmness coming over him from just talking. “ I have so much to say to you….I don’t know where to start “ he laughs slightly, “ I guess I could start with...with the fact that I love you, Dean. I never did get to tell you that...or express myself” he mumbled, sighing miserably, “I guess I’ll never get the chance to do that now….” Tears were beginning to fall from his eyes again as he wipes them away, “I’ll miss your green emerald eyes...your stubborn nature...just everything about you. I’ll miss it. “ he sighs. “I am truly sorry Dean….I can only hope you’ll forgive me” he hugs the headstone again before pushing off the ground and walking away, away from Dean. Moving on.
…
It had been a year….a year that Dean had died and Castiel wasn’t getting any better. In fact, he was getting worse. He hadn’t left his room in under a month, maybe more. Every angel had tried to cheer him up, tried to make him forget. Nothing had worked. Cas was a mess, a disgrace to the angel kind. He was weak but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. That was until one morning...one morning that changed everything….
Castiel had been sleeping, angel’s weren’t suppose to sleep, but Castiel was. He was fast asleep, dreaming of being with Dean and seeing his green eyes once more. Telling him that he loved him, face to face. It went on and on until he felt something or someone gently whisper into his ear,
“Cas” it whispered, gently blowing into the angel's ear.
Castiel moaned, turning his face into the pillow.
“Cas!” it whispered a little more urgently, shaking the angel’s shoulder.
Castiel immediately sat bolt upright, his eyes snapping open and his blue ocean eyes settling on the emerald green ones...his heart froze in his mouth. He couldn’t breath. “ D...Dean?” he stuttered, his eyes widening in disbelief.
Dean smiled, “hey Cas….welcome to my heaven” he smiles, Dean was glowing and his room was the old house he had grown up in with his mother and his father in the same room all smiling at Castiel. It was bizarre.
“Oh…” he muttered before he was throwing his arms around Dean” Dean I love you!” he shouted, clinging onto him as he started to cry.
Dean chuckled, hugging Castiel back, “I know...I heard you mention that...I love you too Cas...I love you so darn much and I’m happy you’re here….please stay?” he mutters into Castiel’s hair.
Cas laughs, wiping away his tears, “like you have to ask Dean” he smiles.
…
Castiel now spends his entire life with Dean and his family in Dean’s heaven. From time to time popping out for missions but never spending more than an entire day away from Dean. It was a happy ending after all, for angel and man.