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"When did you stop wearing your hair so high?" It's a question that tumbles out without a second thought and Kaeya curses himself - he hasn't even had anything to drink yet, and here he is, asking stupid questions towards a man who would rather die than talk to him like a normal human being.
"What?" Diluc is taken back by this, surprised by the ease of the question - a quirked brow, a gloved hand reaching towards the bottle of wine before realizing Kaeya hadn't even taken a sip yet. It's been a good while since he'd taken refuge inside. "What - what do you mean?"
"Three years ago, you wore your pony tail higher," Kaeya points out, still feeling stupid for noticing this detail. For finding it to be the most puzzling thing in all of Teyvat right now (and not that Traveler who had mysteriously appeared, who comes and goes with ease), for thinking it should even be an issue but it's not. It isn't that big of a deal, but if one were to ask Kaeya under duress, he would simply say that Diluc looks better with a high pony tail and not a low one. Three years ago was a very different time for them, tip-toeing on four now - four years ago, he had something of a relationship with Diluc, three years ago shattered into a million pieces. "Three years ago..." He trails off.
Just the day before the untimely death of Crepus, they had hid underneath a vineyard - wishing for the carefree days of their youth as adulthood is creeping on too fast. And Kaeya had said something that took Diluc by surprise then, but he had seen that beautiful, sunny smile (one that never left then) and felt Diluc's hand on his.
It was different type of handholding, his stupid teen self had decided - curled fingers together, instead of palm over palm. They would face whatever the future could bring them. But Celestia does not like happiness, not for a Khanre'ian.
"Three years ago was different. You cling to the past too often, Kaeya." He does indeed cling to the past - the past is warm, it's comfortable, he still had Diluc. But to be fair, Diluc lives in the past - he haunts it as though there isn't a tomorrow. The past fuels an anger that simmers and burns and destroys.
"I suppose so," Kaeya gives a little shrug, plays with the shot glass and frowns. "You left, you know."
"I am aware. I can't quite not know what I'm doing with myself."
"Sure seemed different to me," He hasn't drank anything and honesty places itself in the middle of the tavern, exposing his heart. It's bleeding. "Everyone was worried."
"Yes, well, losing a beloved family member and everything else that followed can change a person." Kaeya looks away as Diluc grimaces - Kaeya deserved that, he knows he deserved that and probably more. The scar on his eye serves as a bitter reminder, but he made his choice and he has to live with it for the rest of his life.
A silence lapses between them, and Kaeya becomes aware of how quiet the tavern is. They both pretend that this doesn't bother them - they both pretend that there isn't a poison hanging in the air, between them. Kaeya pretends that his heart isn't bleeding so openly while Diluc pretends he had sewn up all of his wounds. And they both pretend that what was there isn't there anymore, and that everything charred and burned before them that night. And Kaeya is so sure if he reaches out to touch Diluc now, he would burn and fray at the edges and he wouldn't be able to let go.
"I have a question for you."
"I'm an open book." Wry. Diluc scoffs while Kaeya grins a little.
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what? I say a lot of things at different times, Diluc. Please be more specific." He knows what Diluc is talking about. Still, he wants to hear him say it - so long as he says it out loud, it finally becomes real again and not a murky past that felt like a weird dream. Maybe tomorrow would finally come for him. For the both of them - because neither can continue to keep this past as their present. They both know this.
"Ugh, you know what I'm talking about. That time, in the Vineyard. On my birthday."
Kaeya had sworn over and over again he would never leave Diluc's side, should he ask him to - because Kaeya's I love you's are never said out loud. They are spoken between words, shown through certain actions - sincerity from Kaeya is hard to come by but everything he does is genuine to a certain extent. And with Diluc, Kaeya is only ever honest because he hates lying to this man, to this person he once viewed as a best friend, a something that isn't quite a lover but he could very well be - they hold each others hearts in the palm of their hands. And Kaeyas' is bleeding and Diluc's is wounded and they pretend their injuries aren't a thing.
But if it mends them -
"Just say the word, Diluc." Yes.
Tense. Silence. The nervous chewing of his lower lip - Crepus would get frustrated with Diluc when he'd do that because sometimes he'd chew until it bled.
"Stay." Finally. "With me. Like you promised."
"Gladly."